The Netmums Podcast - 4: Finding calm in the chaos with mum-of-three Lacey Turner

Episode Date: December 1, 2025

Welcome to a brand new miniseries of the Netmums Podcast: Cloud 9 is brought to you by the award-winning baby range Aldi Mamia. Hosted by Louise Burke, the editorial director of Netmums, this series is designed for those quiet, early hours when you’re feeding or rocking your little one and feeling like you’re the only one awake. Join us as we delve into the highs, lows, and everything in between of new motherhood. In this episode we’re joined by actress, mum of three, and all-round lovely human Lacey Turner, best known for her nearly two decades on EastEnders. Lacey recently welcomed her third baby, a little girl named Gipsy Olive, and she joins us to chat about life in her busy household; the beautiful chaos, the sleepless nights, and the lessons she’s learned along the way. Lacey opens up about the reality of motherhood with three small children and her decision to step back from acting. She reflects on mum guilt, finding moments of calm, and the importance of carving out time for herself amidst the noise of family life (and the chickens!). In this episode: The joy and chaos of welcoming a third baby How Lacey manages sleepless nights and the juggle of three little ones Finding small, meaningful moments of calm and connection Letting go of guilt and embracing “good enough” parenting The importance of time outdoors, community, and self-care Why Lacey chose to step away from EastEnders to focus on family life There are six brilliant episodes in this special series featuring some of your favourite celebrity mums including Olivia Bowen, Lacey Turner, actress Lucy Fallon and Charlotte Dawson. Each episode brings a completely different kind of conversation about early motherhood – new voices, new experiences, and new truths, all of which reminds us that there’s no one way to do this. This episode is sponsored by Aldi Mamia, the award-winning baby range loved by parents. Netmums – where real parents share the chaos and the comfort, so you know you’re not in it alone. Follow us on socials @Netmums and website:netmums.com  Proudly produced by Decibelle Creative / @decibelle_creative

Welcome to Cloud 9, a brand new podcast mini-series from NetMums, brought to you by Aldi Mummy. This is the podcast made for those quiet early hours when you're up feeding, rocking or struggling to find some calm in the dark, and it can feel like you're the only one in the world doing it. Cloud 9 is here to remind you that you're not alone. I'm Louise Burke and I'm the editorial director of NetMons. Each special episode this week will be trying to remind you. chatting to a well-known mum about the highs and lows of early motherhood, the tears, the laughter and the tiny winds, because we all know this journey isn't perfect, but it is shared

here at NetMums. We want to help. We even offer free nappies thanks to Aldi. Did you know you can claim a free pack of Aldi Mummy and Newborn Nappies right now at NetMums.com? Today, I'm joined by someone who's appeared on our TV screens for nearly two decades, actress, mum of three, an all-round lovely human Lacey Turner. Lacey recently welcomed her third baby, a little girl named Chipsy Olive, and she's here to share what life looks like now with three little ones, how she's adjusting to life after EastEnders and what she's learned along the way. Lacey, thank you so much for joining us, and congratulations on baby Chipsy.

How are you feeling? How's life for three small children? Do you know what? It is absolute chaos, but it's the most loveliest form of chaos that I've ever experienced. It's like a sort of a lovely mess, so to speak, isn't it? It is, yeah. It is lovely. I mean, what's lovely about having the third child is watching the other two

because my first two were extremely close together. So she was almost still a baby when Trilby was born. So it was like, it was almost like having twins. So for the first time, we've been able to experience what the other two are like with a baby, which is just lovely to watch. It really is just lovely. It's lovely. Are they very loving older brothers and sisters to Stipsy?

They are. They're brilliant. I mean, Dusty is very maternal anyway. She's like an old soul trapped in this little six-year-old body. So she sometimes feels like she's my mum. But she's, I mean, she's amazing. She wants to give her bottles. feed her lunch and she wants to pick her up all the time and she wants to do all the things that

Matt and I do but obviously we have to try and explain to her that she is not a dull you can't just take her from the lounge to the kitchen but she's lovely she's great and Trilby is great also just in a different way I mean you know they're still learning you can't just you know roly-poly across the bed if she's sitting on it but she uh but they're They're great. They're really great with her. And they're, I guess, they're her entertainment. I think when you have the first child, you are the entertainment. You know, you're the only entertainment. So it's lovely, actually, to watch Gypsy, watch them. You know, they're doing their dancing. And she's loving it. She just sits and watches them the whole time, really. It's great. You've got a couple of little babysitters on the go there. exactly and hopefully it will stay that way for a long time so take us back to those early weeks with gypsy because obviously she's the most recent baby yes so it was January that she was

born and it was obviously sort of dark nights dark evening cold wintery time what were those night times like with her when she was first born when you first brought her home well it's funny because I've got two winter babies and a summer baby and it's definitely much nicer to have a summer baby because you know when when you get up at five o'clock in the morning it's light when you do the you know the 10 11 o'clock bottle it's only just got dark so it's definitely much easier the winter babies I think are hard because the nights feel really long but the night time is such a funny one and I've experienced. something different with all three of them because the first one, Dusty, I keep calling

in the first one, that's terrible, she has a name. Dusty was, because it was my first time, it was almost just so magical, you know, being up in the night and I'd sit there for hours and hours and hours, but she was a textbook baby. So, you know, I bottle fed all three of mine. I did breastfeed Dusty for about three weeks, but we just, it wore. not working. So it's a lot easy. It was easier for me because I knew how much they drank and, but it, you know, she

would burp straight away and then you could put her down and, you know, make sure she's all tucked in and I'd look at her for ages and then Trilby came along and Trilby would not burp. So I'd be sitting there for sort of an hour and a half, two hours, waiting for a burp. But by the time you get to the, to the third gypsy, I sort of knew what I was doing. doing. So it was, it was, I remember sitting with Trilby, sorry, I'm going backwards and forwards and thinking, oh my God, this is so dark and cold and lonely. And when I had Dusty, my sister had had a baby and my best friend had had a baby were all sort of weeks apart. So

I could message them in the night and talk to them. I had like my own little community, so it was lovely. But none of my friends nor my family were mad enough to have another one. close to the first one. So when I had Trilby, I was alone in the night. And he was a terrible sleeper and a terrible eater. And you just couldn't get wind for love nor money. So then you go scrolling through the internet whilst they're on your shoulder, patting, looking for anything that's going to make this easier, any gadgets or, and then, you know,

you're on Amazon at two o'clock, three o'clock in the morning, spending a fortune on gadgets that aren't going to help you, actually. All you need is just a bit of patience and a bit of self-confidence. Yeah, when you're getting up for the fourth time in the middle of the night in those dark nights, patience isn't necessarily the most natural thing to happen. It's really not. And it's so hard. I think, you know, at the beginning, you know it's coming and you're ready for it and

it's all okay. And then you sort of get to like week 11, week 12, and you're like, oh, are they going to ever sleep through? Yeah. I mean, Trilby didn't sleep. Dussie slept through from six weeks. Trilby didn't sleep through till he was one. Oh, wow.

And Gypsy was about 11 weeks. But I remember thinking, oh gosh, this is hard. This is, what is this going to end? But it is definitely harder in the winter. It's cold. It's cold in the night. Yeah. I think having those three babies also fairly close together as well, it must feel like you haven't probably had a full night's sleep in a long time.

No, about six years, I'd say. But when I was pregnant with Gypsy, I had pregnancy, insomnia, which I'd never even heard of. God. I would be awake every single night from 1 a.m. till 4 a.m. Oh, my God. And the things I bought in the middle of the night, like things were turning. up at the door like 30 foot skeletons, at 30 foot, six foot skeletons and like all these dried flowers and I bought a sofa in the middle of the night because it was in a

flag Friday cell. I bought a sofa at 3 o'clock in the morning. I said to Matt, if this carries on, we're going to have nothing. We have no money left. It's got to stop. Are you someone that goes on social media in those early hours when you're waiting for that last bit of wind to come up? Wow, I mean, with the girls, no, because they were sort of really good. They were just sort of burp and then you'd go, okay, I put them down. It was getting back to sleep after putting those down. Right.

Because I don't know, I mean, my brain is just so irritating. I just want to take it out and put it on the bedside table and put it back in in the morning. Because then I start thinking about, like, I've got obsession with furniture and chairs and wood and fabric. and all these silly things that drive me mad and we're in the middle of a house renovation so I'm just going through floor plans in my head and I've just put the baby back in and now I'm laying there

and I can't go back to sleep so then that's when the phone would come out and you'd start scrolling and then before you know it it's nearly the morning but I've sort of come to the point where sleep is overrated I have to tell myself that

otherwise I'll go insane I mean, the thing is, is they get older and you actually do get full night sleep. You then can't imagine if there's like one of them has a bad dream when they're like eight years old or something. You're like, well, how did I do this in the early days when I used to get out five or six times in one night? It's, I look back now and I, because I was still working when I had Gypsy. I had two weeks off and then I went to work because of the nature of where we were in the show. I wanted to do that live episode and I wanted to be there when, you know, James left

and because of how it went, I had to carry on work for a little bit so I would get up and do the night feed. I mean, luckily she only had one, she'd have one big bottle in the middle of the night. So I always feel very lucky with my pregnancies, my births and how they slept on one of the lucky ones. But I look back now and I think, how the hell did I do that? But I think I was on such a role that it was quite easy.

Whereas now I've stopped work, you know, if someone does wake up in the night, I'm all over the place. You know, sometimes they all sound the same. So I quite often go into the wrong room. I think, well, they're not moving. I'll go. And then I've gone, it was Trilby calling and actually I've got a Dusty's room. But I have to say, there is something about the middle of the night. that is so lovely because when now there's five of us, it's chaos, you know, there's,

I'm, you know, doing something with the baby and someone's calling and can you wipe my bum and I've just dropped this on the floor and, and but in the middle of the night it's still and it's quiet and it was just me and her and there was something really lovely about that time where nobody else needed you and it could just be me. and Gypsy and it was lovely. You could just, you know, you had that time to stop and take in all those little facial expressions. And I found I only really had time for that in the middle of the night.

So it's a double-edgedged sword, really. It is. It is. Sleep deprivation is awful. Yeah. So you're not discounting the fact that there's sleep deprivation and there's exhaustion, but it's finding the sort of positives in a way and the joy in those. early days of parenting a newborn when actually especially if you've got other kids to juggle or

work life to juggle and you've got things going off in your home like you say finding those little nuggets of time in the middle of the night where it's just you and the baby one to one and it's all quiet and i i guess they're sort of moments yeah they were quite precious moments and when you mentioned about getting up in the night is it always you Or does your partner, Matt, get up as well? Well, me and Matt do alternate mornings. So we used to do, so if it was not your morning, it was your middle of the night. So if somebody woke up in the middle of the night, it was you.

But we always took the morning. I'm better in the middle of the night. I just function better in the middle of the night. So I just thought, I'll take, I'll just do every middle of the night. Also, I think I needed to know how much she drank. what the poo was like, you know, all the things that you ask and they go, oh, it was just a poo. You think, no, no, no, I need to know the consistency, the colour, the, you know.

You always think I was a bit of a control freak, yes, in the middle of the night. So I just thought, I'd do it myself. And then I know exactly what's happened and how much you drank and whatnot. But, yeah, Matt did all the mornings when Gypsy, when I was still getting up in the night. And now we do alternate. Oh, it sounds a good plan. It also sounds like you're really enjoying being a mum. I know you stepped away from EastEnders now to focus on your three kids and your home as well, family life.

It sounds like you're enjoying it as well, even though there's, you know, the sort of the juggle and the broken night's sleep. But is there anything that now you've got three is in a sort of unexpected challenge? I think the thing, I mean, I love having three. I'm one of three. Matt's one of three. So I don't know what it is. I always felt like I needed to have at least three. I don't know why.

But, and it is lovely. And it's lovely to watch all their little different personalities and watch them grow. I think the thing I find hardest that I carry quite a lot of guilt for is, Blitting your time between three is quite hard because I think you expect the eldest one, you know, to put her own shoes on and get herself dressed and, you know, and because she can do those things, you expect them to do those things. But actually, she's still only tiny. And I just think it's really hard to give each child one on one time. I'm still sort of trying to get that right. And I guess the older they get, the easier that becomes.

Because it's hard. You spend a lot of time saying, well, just one minute. I'm just giving gypsy a bottle, or I'm just making gypsy's dinner, or I'm just putting gypsy down. And I think you find a lot of the time you're saying, just one minute, just wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, you're outnumbered, aren't you? The three to one. So. Yeah, I just think that's hard. Yes, it is hard. And I think if Matt's at work, which he works one day on the weekend, so that Sunday is, it's me and three of them. And one wants to paint.

The other one wants to play football. And the other one just wants you all the time. And it's sort of like, right, okay, I need to make a mini plan here to try and get all three. But sometimes it just doesn't work like that. And then you go spin, you think, well, I feel bad. But what can you do? There's three of them and one of you, and you can only do your best. Yeah.

Well, you know, I had, I bought home twins when my eldest was two and a half years old. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, and I was tandem breastfeeding, so it was a whole other story. Oh, my God. One pediatrician told me a word of advice, and she said, actually, a child only needs 10 minutes one-on-one face time to feel happy. and loved and included by their parent. So obviously you're around and you're playing and you're talking throughout the day, but 10 minutes of no phones, no TV, just one-to-one time face-to-face,

and they're happy because they have you for that moment. So when the baby's down sleeping, and make sure you find that moment just to do that one-to-one. Because like you say, otherwise it is in a minute, in a minute, in a minute, just a minute, I'm just doing this. And, yeah, as a small child, it's hard for them to understand. And you're not aware of it, actually, until they tell you that they say, you know, Dusty will say you keep saying in a minute. And you think, oh, God, I do keep saying in a minute.

But I love bedtime. I love bedtime because you get to have that little chat about their day. And, you know, we do reading in bed. They've got to read every day. So we sit and do that in bed. And you can really listen because the best. baby's gone to bed. So I love that time because it's, you know, everything still. You've got the baby to bed and yeah, and you can listen. And I, we always talk about our day in that time. And I actually

look forward to that every day. Well, it's good connection time. It's a connection, isn't it? It's a good connection then. It is. Yeah. You mentioned before, like sometimes you go to bed and you can feel a bit bad about like not necessarily having been there or feeling so present with your kids in the day if there's three of them and you're juggling all of them. On those moments where I can imagine that's like sort of feeling of overwhelm in a way, how do you cope when you feel, when you have those moments of maybe feeling a little bit overwhelmed by a situation? I think really I just sort of tend to have a word with myself and be realistic.

You know, they're, you can only do what you can do as parents and everybody's best is their best and that's it. So I think I sometimes just have to say to myself, look, you know, everybody's fed, everybody's clothed, everybody went to bed happy, that today has to be enough. You know, no, I didn't make the ice cream tower that we wanted to make, but hey-ho, you know, tomorrow we can make the ice cream tower. Yeah. But I think it's really hard because you can put so much pressure on yourself trying to get everything right. But actually that's impossible. I think, you know, a lot of people go on Instagram and see these perfect families and these perfect lives. And actually that isn't the reality, you know, behind those little squares is probably the same chaos that's happening in your house.

And we like we all feel exhaustion, but it's also a very emotional time. And then sometimes when we're exhausted, we feel more emotional. I don't know about you. But do you have moments where you just sometimes let it all out? Yeah. I mean, I quite often to say to Matt, I need to go outside. I love being outside. That's like my place that I can breathe.

And I'll just say to Matt, you know, I'm going to the chickens. You know, yesterday was a disaster, to be honest. Running around on the sofa, the baby was hungry. They're fighting. And I, you know, you just go, oh, my God, this is too much. So go off, go up to the chickens, have a talk to the gals. And then you come back and you go, okay, I need a little reset. And I think it's really important, you know, for both parents in this madness,

you can really lose that little pocket of time that you need to recharge. And if you can't recharge, how can you be the best, you know, the best parent that you, the kind of parent that you want to be? everybody needs that little reset and me and math try to make sure that we make that happen you know Matt plays football on a Tuesday night so Tuesday night he gets to go on the pitch let all his whatever it is out come home and and on a Wednesday I do an upholstery class so that's my little pocket of time are we seeing a Lacey Turner having a career change here I've always done it I've loved it, but I've been doing this class for like two and a half years and I absolutely love it.

But it's just two hours where nobody calls mum. I don't have to wipe anybody's bottom. I don't know. I can just staple away and play with fabric and foam and it's just lovely. Yeah. So we each get that, you know, time for you. And I think that is really important because if you're constantly drowning in what everybody else needs, you can't possibly recharge. Yeah.

Well, you're just then drained and running on empty, aren't you? Exactly. And then it really is overwhelming. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. You mentioned chickens just then. Are you talking about actual chickens in your garden? Yes.

I have chickens, yeah. I love my chickens. So not only three kids, but you have chickens as well. How many chickens have you got? Oh, yes. We've got four chickens at the moment and two dogs. We live on a little farm. So it's really nice.

and I just like to create more things to look after. We built a big allotment last year, which is lovely, because I get their kids out there and they plant all their, you know, seeds and bulbs and, you know, they can go to school and they can eat their cucumber and their snack pot. And I'm a big believer in the outdoors. I love being outdoors. And I put them outside in all weathers. Yeah.

Because that's what kids should be doing. They should be getting muddy and climbing trees and rolling around in puddles and, you know, kicking stones all over the place. You know, whilst they're little and they can do all these things, I try my best to sort of get them out into nature, fresh air, run around. You'd hope that would promote better sleep. But do you think that also is to help you as well? Because I know back in the day when I have my three... It's much easier. Even if I was super tired, I just had to be out in the fresh air and to go for a walk in the woods and things like that.

You've mentioned seeing your chickens, but clearly you're living in a lovely countryside environment as well. Do you think that helps you recharge your batteries being out in the countryside? Most definitely. Yeah. You know, I've had periods where I've been at work and especially in the winter, you're driving in the dark. and then you'd spend all day in the studio and it was dark and then you'd drive home in the dark and I hadn't actually seen any outside

and I'd find that really hard I'd look forward to the weekend so I could just walk around and you know I have to be I need outdoors I need trees I need greenery you know I could never live in a city I don't know what I'd do I'd probably have some sort of nervous breakdown there's not enough grass Don't say that.

Not enough chickens. I'm definitely a country bumpkin. Yeah, it's carme. And so you clearly sound like you are a lovely homemaker, a mum, and to your kids. You stepped down from EastEnders this year. What was the sort of decision maker or the fact that actually was like, you know, this is the time now. I'm going to focus on being at home more. I think with having Gypsy, she, when I had Dusty, it was lockdown.

So I got that extra time. I got a year with her to be at home and that was lovely. And then when I went back to work, I went back pregnant. So I didn't feel like, or, you know, I should take, you know, as long with Trilby. So I sort of had Trilby and quickly went back after. and I just think she probably is my last baby and I wanted to just soak up every little moment. And also I've just felt as much as, you know,

EastEnders was around the corner from my house and it was brilliant. I always made it home for bath time, bedtime, but I was missing things. You know, I'd see on the WhatsApp group, some of the mums were at what, you know, had attended the art class or the assembling morning and I just could never make those things.

And I just got to a point where I thought, do you know what, they aren't going to be little for long. They're not going to hang out, want to hang out with me much longer. So I thought now is the time, really. You know, it's a perfect excuse. I've had a baby. I need to be at home. That's the normal thing to do. And just to sort of pick them up from school every day and silly things.

that I think most people probably take for granted. I, you know, I wanted to pick them up. I wanted to be standing there when they came out of school. You know, I wanted to go to the assembly. I want to watch the nativity. I want to watch Sports Day in person, not on FaceTime. So I think it was just all those little things, really. And don't get me wrong, it's easier to go to work.

It's calmer. Your tea's hot. You can go to the toilet on your own. but the mental load of managing where everybody was going and exactly you have lunch food you can eat um it's uh it was it was so much trying to organize who was having who who was picking up this one and who was taking that one to that club and this and i just thought this is you know it's got to stop i need to i want to do it i don't want a diary for everybody else, you know, between me and my family, you know, everybody was sort of picking up,

this one and that one and running this one here and running that one there and that one was having the baby. And then, and I just thought, no, I just, I want to do it. So, you know, that's what I'm doing. And I'm loving it. I'm absolutely loving it. As hard as it is and it's not easy. Yes. No, but you won't regret it. But I guess for some parents, the reality is that juggle, that nightmare juggle that you talk about, like, who's having who and who's taking who and it is so hard for many parents. And it is odd that you have a child and then you miss those milestone moments, but not even that, you're paying someone else to look after them and watch those mouselow moments and that you're not getting as well. So it is, it's a very,

it's a tricky balance to get right. It is a tricky balance. And I think, you know, childcare is so expensive. I'm lucky enough to have family round, but not a lot of people do. But I can understand, I understand both sides. I completely understand somebody who wants to be at home and be with their children. But I also really understand the want to go to work. I think for quite a lot of people, going to work is probably better for their mental health. You know, it's, I completely get both sides, but most people are going to work and then spending that money, pretty much all of it, on childcare because childcare is so expensive. So you sort of have to, I guess, each to their own, you weigh up what works for you.

But it is, it is really hard and, yeah, it's hard. They don't make it easy, do they? No. And like you said, you're totally right. It's all down to the individual. You can never compare your situation with anyone else's. You've just got to do what's right for your immediate family. Going back to the little ones, because that's why what we're here to talk about today as well.

We've all done some slightly extreme things in those early years. Like I remember me downloading various white noise apps before there was white noise machines. Just to get something right or just get them to eat or sleep or whatever it is. Do you ever look back at anything you've done with? any of your children in those early days just to get by or just to get right where you look back now and go, oh my God, did I do that? I think I did a lot of things. I bought a lot of gadgets in the middle of the night that was like nearly £100.

You just think there was something I bought. It was some sort of animal. It was a white noise thing actually. And it said guaranteed to get them to sleep. Maybe. Could I turn the bloody thing off? No. Couldn't turn it off.

So we had this like thumping heartbeat going for weeks until the battery ran dead because we just couldn't turn it off. It was, you stuff it in like a trunk and put loads of stuff on top of it and you could still hear it. And it, but it was terrible. I probably, I think you do on your first, when you have your first baby, you buy everything because you think you need everything because this, you know, these days, all these gadgets are normal.

I've got a rocket on my pram and I have a little white noise machine on my pram and it's like we just went on holiday and the people walking past looking at my pram shaking they were so confused and I just sort of looked and smiled and was like yes, modern parents yes what we do

we don't rock the pram it just shakes on his own now there's a gadget for everything literally everything but by the time get to the third one, you realize what you actually need and what you don't really, really need. But I met Dusty's first birthday. She had everything, you know, absolutely everything. Trilby, you had a couple of blooms and a thing and gypsy would probably have a cake. The more you have, the less they seem to get. And you said they, with the first baby, you bought lots of

things, but by the third one, you realize they don't need that. What do you think newborn babies do need then? I think they need you. They need milk. They need clean clothes. And actually, you know, that is probably it. In this house, you probably do need some sort of white noise. Otherwise, they'll never sleep.

I really don't think a newborn baby needs very much at all. I don't think they need all the swirly lights and, you know, know, rainbowy things and I don't think they need all the, you know, zip bags that they're all put in and whatnot. It's funny, when I had gypsy, I really went back to how I was brought up. You know, my other two slept in the sleep bags, but she didn't. And I don't know why I didn't. I just sort of didn't.

You know, she had a salient a blanket and she was wrapped in that and, you know, that was. That was it. She's had quite a basic upbringing. It's funny because you think the third one would get all the hand-me-downs from all the other kids. But had you passed all that on or did you just couldn't be bothered to get it out of the Arctic? No, I mean, I sit here looking at all these toys. These are all these, every single one of these toys in front of me belonged to the other two. Right.

And I don't think I bought a single baby grow for Gypsy. I think she had all, Dusty had so much. I mean, it was sickening when I went through the bags How many white baby grows she needed But I think it was that thing Oh, these are getting a bit small So I just buy some more But she had something like 36 baby grows

White baby grows Who on earth? Of course Who on earth these 36 baby grows This panic buying that you do And you have a baby And you don't even look at the price Because you're so tired, you don't care

You just need bigger clothes So let's just boom get it now But actually, I don't think I bought Gypsy a single baby grow. So it came in handy. I'm sure she's doing all right, though. Oh, she's fine. She's perfectly fine. Tell me something, tell me one thing about early motherhood

that no one ever told you about or warned you about. I think the biggest thing that I found is no one talks about when you get home. Everybody talks about, you know, having this baby and giving birth and they don't tell you about when you get home and you're still wearing a nappy and you can't really move and all this milk's going to come in and it's going to make you feel completely doolally. And I think that was the biggest, you know, shock of all, because I watched my mum give birth to my sister. So in my head I knew what birth was And that was the way it was going to go And that was the way it went But I don't remember after

And nobody told me about after Everybody's just like oh this lovely baby Is you know Look at this lovely baby Isn't she lovely isn't her skin lovely Doesn't she smell lovely That's great I'm sitting here wearing a nappy

I've still got a nappy on I'm still bleeding. I, you know, I feel terrible. I smell. I don't think anyone really, yeah, you know, you have a wash probably, your hairs about slide off your head. Yeah, I just think just the whole, no one talks about what happens once you get home. I remember coming home with Matt, and because we'd had Dusty and Trilby so close together,

you know, nothing had gone away. The sterilizer was still out and all of that, but there was. there's a four-year gap between Gypsy and Trilby. So everything had sort of gone or gone, you know, had gone in the basement and that was that. And then we got home and I remember Matt put the car seat on the dining table and we sort of looked at each other and we were like, now what?

Now what do we do? I've forgotten everything. Who put that there? That's what we were like. Who put that there? When you walked into a room and you saw the baby? Was that come from? Yeah.

And it was so funny because I remember I was clearing cupboards out and I'd sort of put her in this swingy chair that one of them had had. And then I thought, oh my God, it's up as two. I need to go and get the other two. And I run up to the Moses basket and the baby wasn't in the Moses basket. And I was like, oh my God, where is the baby? And I'd put her in the swinging chair, of course, and she was fast to sleep. But you know, you're like, oh, my gosh.

She was fine. As we say, the baby's fine. But they're very clever. They're so clever at letting you know when they need you, when they need something. But with the first one, I'd never have forgotten where I put her. When you mentioned that, because I remember that clearly the focus being on the new baby, but not necessarily on the mum in some cases. How did you feel supported by your partner?

during that time. Is there anything that he did to particularly help you in those times? I think Matt is, Matt's very, he is great, you know, he's a great, very hands-on dad. So, you know, he was always happy. He'd always say, you know, like, oh, you go to steep and I'll take the baby. And I always felt like he knew what he was doing. So that was always all right. but he was generally sort of you know being the baby being with me was you know the same as being

with Matt um yes is that right I think do you understand I'm not very being very clear but the baby was as you know it was the same whether she was with me or Matt she was she was treated and and done things exactly the same yeah he was very good at that and letting you go and have a shower or wash your hair. Exactly. Yeah. You know, and Matt cooks, I don't cook. I can't even boil rice.

Amazing. We all need a mat in our life. I know. It's a very modern relationship. Yes. I gave dusty chicken and rice once and she said, Mommy, why have you given me porridge with my chicken? That is.

Bring Daddy back. I was like, oh, okay. I think maybe we'll get microwave rice from now on. That's what I do. It's so much easier. Yes. But yeah, talking about microwave ride, that 5 o'clock when everybody wants to eat, that is mad. That is enough to make you want to cry some days.

I think you're in that time with a 6-year-old, a 4-year-old and a nearly 1-year-old. Because when they're hungry, they are hungry and they want to eat straight away. So yeah, you just need And why is it not ready now? Yeah, you need some good food hacks in your armour to just get that food on the table quickly. That's when I invest. Well, Matt makes it all and I can just sort of take it out of the freezer

and air friars are just brilliant. I live without one. I often say to my mum, what did you do? Yeah, well my mum said that she mainly fed turnip and potato to ask one, well, my eldest brothers, which is like proper basic. We did have quite a lot of mash, actually. Yeah, exactly, a lot of mash. Whereas now, you know, we think about baby pasta and different vegetable ratatouis and all sorts of stuff, don't we?

And shave parmesan on pasta dishes. And, yeah, no, it's quite extraordinary the lengths we go to. I do try, but ultimately a nugget is always going to win, unfortunately. Yeah. Tasty nugget. Let's finish off with saying, finally, if you were to give a word of advice to someone else in those early throes of motherhood when they're just home with that baby, what advice would you give that new mum? Or what would you even have given to yourself back in those early days? I think what I've learned is that you have to enjoy. every little moment that you get

because I remember everybody's saying oh it goes so fast it goes so I know it's I think yeah it goes so fast but actually it really does and all of a sudden they don't feel so little anymore they want to be grown up

and they want to do all these grown up things so it's I would say to enjoy every moment and remember that everything is a stage and it does pass they will eventually sleep they will eventually eat a vegetable, you know, all these things, they're just phases and you have to just keep, just hang on in there because you will come out the other side. Those phases as well, although when you're in it, it feels like you're in it forever, but they do pass.

In those early days, the phases pass quickly, don't they? They do, they do, but at the time it feels like they're so long, but they do, they feels like it's never going to end. and then all of a sudden you've, you know, you've made up this whole scenario of things that might possibly happen and then poof, the phase is gone and then they're into something new, something new is going on. Yeah. Is there, you mentioned before about, obviously, you're not starring any standards anymore, you're in home, you're really concentrating on homemaking and you've got these three kids at

home. How do you stay being you? I know you mentioned the chickens and the upholstery, but on a day-to-day, how do you stay, Lacey? How do you keep your, a lot of mums can struggle with identity and their self in those early days? I think I'm still figuring that out, actually. I think, you know, I found that it probably took me three years

after having Trilby to figure out how I dressed again. You know, I remember putting clothes on. I do it now and think, I just don't. feel like me at all. I think it does take time, but I think you really, and I am very conscious of trying to do this, you really just try and do something for you, something that you enjoy, whether that's a facial or a massage or a walk somewhere or an upholstery course, just something that you enjoy that gives you an hour, two hours, I think can make the world of difference.

And I'm still trying to get it right. You know, I still can't find my fashion sense if I ever had one. I just feel like I look like every other mum at the moment. Well, that's the thing. We live in tractsis. Yeah, I mean, same. I mean, my kids are just turned, my oldest has just turned 13 and look, I'm, I love a track suit or a juggler.

So do I. Yeah, see, 13 years later. But the, what you were saying is finding those moments like, you know, a lovely indulgent bath or an upholstery class or an exercise class. Sometimes they're hard to find because that can be like a two-hour window that you need to find in the day and it can be hard if your partner is not around. But actually sometimes I think with the self-identity as a new mum, sometimes just comes about, can be about your appearance or your haircut or like you said,

you kept coming back to your clothes because it does make a difference, doesn't it, in how you feel it. I think some people can think, oh, I shouldn't worry about how my hair looks or, you know, I'm looking after a baby. But it does all tie together sometimes in how you can feel about yourself. Sometimes it can make you feel better.

Yeah. Yeah. No, it's true. Like getting your nails done. Yeah. Because when you feel better, I do feel like when you've had a bit of you time, whether that was 10 minutes, whether that was a bath,

getting your nails done, or going to a class, then I do feel like you can be a better version of yourself, so therefore you're a better mother. Yeah, because running on empty is not the way forward, is it, really? No, and running on no food is not good. It makes you hungry and snappy and, yeah, I mean, you've got to look after the sort of hub of where it all starts, the root of it, and if you look after the roots, then it all sort of is healthier.

Yeah, I totally agree. Well, it sounds like you're doing a really good job, both with yourself and your kids, and you're a pulsated to your armchair as well. It was lovely speaking to you and hearing your fantastic pearls of wisdom. And I hope to maybe speak to you again sometime. Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It's been lovely. Lacey, thank you so much for joining us

and for being so open about your motherhood journey. It's been such a comfort hearing your honesty and warmth. And for those of you listening, whether you're up in the night, folding never-ending laundry, or taking a much need of breather, remember you're doing an amazing job. If you'd like to know more about today's chat, head to netmums.com, where we've shared some key takeaways from Lacey's episode.

And don't forget, you can claim your free pack of Ildi and newborn nap is there too. Cloud 9 is brought to you by Aldi Mammaia, the award-winning baby range, loved by parents and proud to support yours.