The Netmums Podcast - Mastering Potty Training: Amanda Jenner's Top Tips

Episode Date: August 18, 2024

Welcome to the first episode of a brand new Netmums Podcast mini series: Milestone Moments, brought to you by Aldi Mamia.  Looking at some of the biggest milestones for new parents, our hosts Alison Perry and Wendy Golledge will be having bite sized chats with experts.  On this first episode we are looking at potty training! It can be a right old rollercoaster! We talk to child behaviour expert Amanda Jenner about making this milestone easier.  Amanda, the creator of the Potty Training Academy and author of Potty Training Magic, shares expert insights and tips on how to navigate this potential stressful milestone.  From understanding when your child is ready to start potty training to dealing with common issues like pooing on the potty (her tip for this is genius!), Amanda offers practical advice to help parents make this transition smoother.  Grab your free pack of Aldi Mamia Newborn Nappies from Netmums here. The Milestone Moments podcast is bought to you by Aldi Mamia and produced by Decibelle Creative.

Welcome to Milestone Moments, a Netmum's podcast mini-series brought to you by Aldi Mamiya. I'm Alison Perry. And I'm Wendy Gollich. Aldi Mamiya is an excellent range of great value and award-winning baby and toddler products. Aldi Mamiya products include weaning essentials like stage one fruit and veg purees and biscotti fingers. They also have all the products you need for your newborn like extra sensitive baby wipes and newborn nappies. And they have brilliant buys to help you with your baby's bedtime. Mamiya Bedtime Bath has the most amazing soothing aroma. Plus with Netmums and Aldi new parents can get a

pack of newborn nappies to try absolutely free. So log on to netmums.com and let your friends know about this brilliant offer with Netmums and Aldi. In this series we'll be talking about a key milestone in early parenthood and chatting to an expert guest. Today we're talking about the highs and the lows of potty training. Our guest is Amanda Jenner, child behavioural expert and creator of the Potty Training Academy. Her book Potty Training Magic has helped thousands of families navigate their way out of nappies. Well, Wendy, before we hear from Amanda, I want you to sum up your own potty training experience in one word for me. Hilarious. I cannot wait to find out more.

How would you describe your experience in one word? I've got to be honest, I think my word is going to have to be stressful. That sounds more predictable, I should imagine. Amanda, a warm welcome to the Milestone Moments podcast. Hello, thank you for having me. So Alison just described her experience of potty training as stressful. Why do you think so many parents find potty training a source of stress? I think it's because obviously I've been doing this now. I'm celebrating my 20 years next year doing this. So lots of poo and wee stories. But basically, I think when you have a child, it doesn't come with a manual does

it and then then you go into the milestones different milestones and the feeding and then there's the potty training whereas your child actually necessarily doesn't want to potty train so it's something we have to implement and get your child to do so it's it's really difficult for me a mum of three as well a lot older now I found it one of the most challenging experiences this is why I do what I do it was really hard that's actually quite reassuring to hear that you found it challenging but this is the part where I asked Wendy to share the one thing that she wishes she'd known about potty training back when her girls were smaller um so obviously we know that it was hilarious Wendy um but what do you wish you'd known about it

um so I'm actually slightly different to both of you and I wish I'd known it wasn't as utterly awful as everyone leads you to believe it's one of those things that everybody, it's like when you're pregnant and everyone says, oh, labour's awful. Everyone, as your children approach two or whatever, they're like, oh, my God, potty training's next. But my experience with both of my daughters was so much easier than people led me to believe. One of my daughters had no accidents accidents decided on her own on Christmas Eve that she wasn't going to wear nappies anymore and just bossed it and the other one you know I'd geared myself up for three months of pooey pants and actually she just kind of got on with it though

she did demand a wee this was the hilarious bit middle of Dartmoor surrounded by Dartmoor ponies and she needed a wee but she wouldn't just let me hold it we had to get the whole fold out potty out and stick it in the middle of Dartmoor blowing a gale wee blowing everywhere it was just perfect oh no well I'm impressed Wendy that sounds like you absolutely nailed potty training Amanda what do you think makes the difference between a nightmare experience and what Wendy just described? What happens is when you start potty training, obviously the child's got to be ready. So we can't just decide we're going to do it on Saturday because it suits us.

So I get so many nightmare experiences, but it doesn't have to be like that. I think to overcome, I mean, Wendy, it sounds like you did a fantastic job there but I think that I think I can claim no credit I had nothing to do with it it was I was just it's the what if you ask me about sleep or weaning I failed abysmally so it's the only bit that I got right well done amazing I think it's about ensuring your child is ready. So that's what's really, really important. If your child's not ready, you can't force them to do any potty training, any milestone, to be honest. But with potty training, they really have to start recognising their bodily functions before you start potty training. begins for parents is because they're either told by their nursery school or by their parents well you were potty trained at 18 months every child is different and then you suddenly start having that parent guilt where you think do you know what I better start this weekend that is the wrong thing to do and that's where the nightmares begin definitely. Okay so over to you Alison what do

you wish you had known about putty training twins? Well, it's really interesting hearing Amanda talking about waiting until they're ready, because I wish that I'd had the confidence to just wait until I knew that my twins were ready. Because yes, exactly what you've just described, Amanda, you know, the people at their preschool, like the carers at their preschool were like, oh, you know, you know, the people at their preschool, like the carers at their preschool were like, oh, you know, you know, we think that they should be trying. And deep down, I knew that they weren't ready. And we tried and it was stressful and miserable. One just didn't register. I mean, I'm talking about, there were three when this was happening. So you do think, okay, by three,

really should be potty training. so we tried and one just didn't register when she needed to go and so she would just be like sat on the sofa and then be like oh I've just wet myself like a lot that happened and then the other one would just hold it in all day and just be unbearably angry as you would be if you needed a wee for the entire day. So yeah, it was just awful. Yeah, and definitely with twins as well. Like I get lots of questions about twins. Each child is very individual that you know, you never get two twins the same. Yes, they will follow each other maybe if one's doing it and the other one's not. But you mustn't like when you've got twins, it's really important. Let them find it themselves. Don't think because I've got twins,

they've got to be potty trained together because it doesn't work like that and it puts more stress on you as a family and and the kids as well but yeah if they're not ready then it's you're going to be fighting and losing battle definitely but the flip side of that is you say wait until they're ready but there's lots of headlines in the news about kids more and more kids are starting reception in nappies so what if you don't feel your child is ready before school so that's a good question because yeah lots of headlines lots more coming out soon as well so I think there's there's waiting until they're ready and waiting until they're like you know too old um

but i think what you've got what parents must realize is that when children start school in september they're still not ready ready don't start trying to get them ready in august four weeks before they start school start now we need to be starting now they need a few months to get used to it to get into a routine um and to get into a system where they know they've got to go to the toilet before they leave the house, this, that and the other, because there's loads of things we've got to teach our children before they start school. So if they're not ready, then use some flashcards, start using some good flashcards, reading books, download some apps, you know, visually show them what they've got to do to try and bring it on for them and getting them involved, set up a good reward system to try and empower and encourage them. And that's what we've got to do.

Be ready in our heads as a parent, but also get some good rewards for them and use them. Get a good old book visually showing them what they've got to do. But you need to start now for anyone that's starting school. When they're just about to start school, you can't just cram it in weeks before. The headlines that you do hear also is, you know, that children have been potty trained in the summer holidays. And then they go and start school and they have accidents because it's a new environment. So, you know, there's a lot of that mixed in as well. It's not just kids literally

turning up to school in nappies but it is a big issue at the moment so we need to give it a good few months because children can regress as well even if you think I've nailed it in June July August they could be poorly could be going on holiday changing circumstances and then they regress and you've got to pick it straight back up again um so finally amanda what would you say is your most asked question about potty training from parents what's the biggest issue that parents are facing it is pooing on the potty in the toilet is my biggest issue um not yours i hope no no definitely not mine i Seriously, I'm fine. Seriously. But I get so many, honestly, so many questions about my child won't poo, they're holding on, they're hiding. I mean, my daughter, who's 25 now, used to hand it to me when I was in the car all the time. And it's just that children have this thing about pooing. And I know why it is because I go and potty train children one-to-one as well. And when you ask them why don't they want to poo, it's quite comical when you hear it.

And they just say, like, it's heavy or mummy and daddy says it's stinky. So don't say that to your children when you're changing their nappies. Or they feel it's really heavy in their bottoms and they're scared to let go because they've had that nappy on um which catches it and they know that so what we need to do is set up a good reward system get your poo emojis on the front and stick it on the prizes and show them this is what you get if you let go and poo on the potty and blowing bubbles is one of my top top things so if you're blowing bubbles it's like giving birth and they say pan pan pan if you blow bubbles it relaxes everything in your tummy so it's about keeping them on there for that little bit longer giving them bubbles so they relax and not stress because if they're tense they're not

going to do it or leave them on their own you know do you like people standing over you when you're having a poo a two-year-old or three-year-old can't say it. You know, you don't need an audience, do you? A little bit of peace, Mummy. A little bit, a moment, please. Do you know what? I know it sounds really funny, but if I, you know, this is what I do every single day, but if I've ever got a sore tummy and I'm constipated,

and you do actually, because you can't, you've got to practice what you preach sometimes, you know and I think you know I blow sometimes and I have tested this and it works it actually because if you're you're you're tense and like like that nothing's going to come out and for children to explain that to a child they don't understand it so give them their favorite thing which is bubbles so take them if on holiday in your bag always have bubbles at my little top tip this is the tip of the year amanda thank you that's been amazing thank you so much for coming to chat to us at netmums and milestone moments thank you don't forget you can get all your baby and toddler essentials at great prices with Aldi Mamiya. And head to netmums.com now to claim your free pack of Aldi Mamiya newborn nappies.