The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep10: Ronan Keating on having a lockdown baby … and, er, vasectomies

Episode Date: November 24, 2020

Annie and Wendy cosy up with former Boyzone bandmember Ronan Keating about the joys and challenges of being a dad of five, what it’s like having a baby in lockdown and why he’s DEFINITELY not planning on a baby number six. Ronan also talks about parenting in the face of the tragic loss of his mum, Marie, and the work he does to raise awareness of the importance of early cancer detection with the Marie Keating Foundation (mariekeating.ie).

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears, brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary. And I'm Wendy Gollage. And together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments. With guests who are far more interesting than we are. Right, so hello and you're very welcome to the Sweat, Snot and Tears podcast. How are you doing, you lovely, sweaty, snotty, teary-eyed lot? I'm doing good.

It's my eldest birthday today, so I'm a little bit more teary than anything else. Nine whole years of being a mum to someone utterly gorgeous. Wend, are you mostly sweaty, mostly snotty, or mostly teary today? Also mostly teary, because it was my eldest ninth birthday yesterday as well. So we're both weeping at the fact we've got nine-year-olds now. I don't know how it happened you blink and they're teenagers practically but that's enough from us I think it's time we asked our guest whether he's had any sweats not or tears in his house today Mr Ronan oh my god he's here with us Keating welcome to the Netmoms podcast. Hey how are you? We're good tell us what's

dominating in your house today sweats not or tears snot or tears? I would say sweat. Yeah, sweat most of the time really for us. Cooper started back at nursery, just getting him up and out of the house in the morning. When you've got a little Baba, we've got the six, Coco's six months old, well, almost six months old now. So you're juggling the two

and then I've got the radio show, I've got Magic Breakfast and I'm currently hosting the one show, and we're building a house, and everything else is kind of going on. We're just kind of chasing our tail a little bit, so I'll choose Sweat. Okay, Sweat is a very apt choice when you have children that young. How are they sleeping? Are they early risers? Do they get up early? Do they wait you in the night?

Yeah, well, we are very, very lucky with two kids that sleep and from a young age have slept. Cooper was 12 hours of like six, seven weeks, as is Coco. That's not fair. I know. I know. I know. And I tell you, Coco has done it. We were worried, you know, having a second. Cooper was the poster child. He was amazing amazing he slept well he fed well he came off the breast easy whatever it was whatever we threw at him he was he just adapted and was brilliant now having a second after that is obviously uh yeah it's it's a worry and you think oh no what's going to happen and she has been amazing if if anything she's easier um she's sleeping through the night.

It's amazing. I reckon you should have about 18 kids. And by the time you get to 18, they'll just raise themselves. Look, that's it now. I have five kids getting the snip. Done. Done. Jobs are good.

Well, look, there's our first line. Ronan's getting the snip. Done. There you go. Thank you. I didn't expect you to start talking about that in the first five minutes. No, I thought the first topic was going to be coronavirus. Wendy, you wanted to ask Ronan about that, didn't you?

Yeah, what's the situation with you in terms of this dreaded pandemic? You're back on the road again. What's it like performing with coronavirus around? Well, the thing is, there's nothing happening. I was lucky enough to do one show, which was a couple of weeks back in Newcastle. And it was a social distancing gig. All the crowds were in separate pens. I think maximum of five people per pen. Wow, that's so weird.

It was very strange, but it was just awesome to get back up on stage and perform again. Look, I started in Boyzone 27 years ago to perform and to sing. It can't be that long ago. It can't be that long ago. Yeah. 1993 we formed. Oh, my goodness. I mean, it's crazy.

So, I mean, I got into Boyzone to sing and perform, not to, you know, not to be a songwriter or to be, you know, an artiste or whatever you know a social media influencer which there was no such thing as back then and it was to sing it was to perform it was to get up on stage so for me i have missed it massively and i am so eager to get back touring again it's not going to happen for a while so to have that one show it was great and to get back to your question you know we're all adapting aren't we we're all just adapting to our to our current situation hopefully it'll get back to normal as soon as possible but i don't think it's going to be this side of christmas no i don't think any of us do we're all just having

to wing it it's almost like having to just plan one day ahead at a time isn't it yeah well that's it that's it i mean well a week i mean i'm taking out a week usually you'd be taking it months and months in advance and you'd be planning tours and whatever. But at the moment, it's literally week by week. But it is kind of refreshing not to have your calendar booked up for the next six months and to have to wing things a little bit. Maybe not as a performer, but certainly as a mum, I think it's nice not to have every weekend booked with every kid's party from here to the end of the earth and all of that stuff it's quite a break for parents in that sense yeah i agree have you found that ronan yeah i do i mean it's first time in my life well since i was 16 years of age sorry that i have been in the same place for longer than two weeks so for, it was quite remarkable to be at home and to watch Coco literally develop every single day, to be there when she wakes every morning,

to change nearly every nappy, and to bath and put them to bed. It was just a privilege. I loved it. I got so used to it. And now I'm back. I'm back in magic. We're back on the radio.

I'm out doing bits and bobs, as I said, the one show. And I'm missing in magic. We're back on the radio. I'm out doing bits and bobs, as I said, the one show. And I'm missing that time. Some nights I'm missing waking up first thing in the morning because I'm on magic. And I miss it. I won't lie. I'm missing it. People ask, how was your lockdown? That's the new power phrase, isn't it?

How was your lockdown? And for me, it was a terrible, terrible thing that's happened on the you know across the country nationwide across the planet but because we had a beautiful little girl it was it was absolutely incredible just to be at home it was very special i bet it was so as a dad of five ranging in age from 22 to just six months how do you cope juggling all the work stuff you've got going on and all those dad hats? You know, Wendy and I have each got only two each and they're pretty close in age and we can barely string a sentence together as it is. How do you keep it all going?

I mean, it's tough. It's really difficult at times. But my wife's arm is amazing. I mean, she's a details person. She's very, very good at running diaries. And that's what it takes. I mean, she's amazing at that. I am absolutely useless. I'll get up in the morning, open the phone. Oh, that's what it takes I mean she's amazing at that I am absolutely useless I'll get up in the morning open the phone look what oh that's what I'm doing today you know and we're different but I think that's you know that's healthy and that's what works too you know that's the way she works it helps me I'm a little bit more laid back and you know at times she needs that you know so I guess both of us you know we dovetail well but yeah I wouldn't I wouldn't not be in the situation I'm in without her that's for sure. And how have you found parenting with

each of your different kids I'm fascinated by people who have lots of kids about whether you have to adapt your parenting style to each one because they're each they're very different do you have do you notice that things change in terms of, particularly, I guess, attitudes to dads nowadays versus when you had your older ones? How does that work? Look, people read books and they, you know, nowadays I'll go online and follow. It's intuition, really. I mean, when I watch Storm, it blows my mind when I see her with Cooper and Coco. And you forget, Jack is 21, Missy 19, Ali's 15.

You forget. It's quite a long time. You forget all the little bits and bobs of that. And I'm a bit of a worrier. I get anxious, you know. Do you? Yeah, but most of the kids and their health and, you know, I think it comes from my mother. She was a worrier, and it's just in you.

You're either that sort of person or you're not. And I'm a little bit, you know, I get a little bit anxious about things and worry about the kids. And to see my wife, the way that she just naturally adapts, the way, I know it's a cliche, but that mother nature, that just natural reaction and understanding and knowledge that women have when it comes to the children is phenomenal. And to see Storm, you know, just know, she just knows what to do and how to do it. knowledge that women have when it comes to the children is phenomenal and a deceased storm you know just know she just knows what to do and how to do it and that blows my mind so going back to what you asked it's i think it's intuition as a father it's about the type of person you are it's about how you want your children to grow up do you want them to be like you or do you want them to be different from you and you know it's up to you then children are

blank canvases and it's very much up to both parents to guide them and paint whatever picture you know you see fit and that's really the early years are really really important and i think the most important word in all of it is love when you show children love and they know that you're there for them they're going to be okay everything the world throws at them the good the bad the ugly kids can adapt they can deal with it and you know as long as you show them love i think that's that's that's the word that's the thing oh that's making me quite teary ronan oh god you're teary to start with don't set them off for god's sake so what's your favorite age is it kind of cute cuddly coco who's still little

or is it the kind of teens with a bit of attitude who you can take to the pub and have a chat with well oh yeah i mean it's it's it's just been it's a privilege to be a parent and to watch all ages there's difficult times when they're they're stroppy when they become teenagers and they're stroppy and they answer back and they this and that. And then there's difficult times when you're getting up in the middle of the night. At different ages, there's different times, there's pros and cons. But for me, I've been lucky enough to enjoy all of these ages.

To have Coco, she's just the softest skin, she's the biggest smiles. She just puts her arms around you. It is gorgeous. It is the most beautiful age and then cooper who's three and he's in nursery and he's he's mr cute this kid he's just he's brilliant he asks the most brilliant questions you know we're out in the garden and he asks you know he's just so inquisitive and i love it i love just being part of that and you know i've actually we're out in

the garden i was talking about this yesterday on the one show i'm a big fan of monty dawn right so you know monty i love monty as well he's so brilliant and he's brought out this new book called my garden world and he's broken it down into the 12 chapters and each chapter is in is a month and basically explains everything that's going on in your garden right now everything that's flying in the sky bird wise what's leaving what's arriving what you know flowers are blooming and you sound like a genius to your child which is always the goal that is always the goal this is it i mean it's like he's only three i know but still i just feel like a legend so you know it's little things like that at the age of three that i'm just you know loving my daughter 15 it's the same you know having these conversations and you know just being around her and listen to what she has to has to give she's into her horses at a different

age and then there's Missy who's 19 and Missy's she's into her social media she's uh let's call it you know influencer or whatever it is and you know she's got these brands or and we can talk we can communicate on things and it's really interesting and then there's my boy he's 21 and he's into music and production and engineering so I just love it all and yeah to sit at the table and have a glass of wine with them in the evening is a lovely thing to do and have grown-up chats when they get oh like it's every age brings something beautiful do you find that your fame ever impacts on your kids is there an age where they suddenly get that everyone knows who daddy is and do they mind how does it work well no it's not that not at all it's there's a not it's a natural thing that they just kind of they're around you constantly um they're around who you

are if at the age of seven or eight or ten, I all of a sudden became famous or whatever you want to call it, then I think it would be like that. But because it's in there every day from the day that they're born, and that's all the way through from Jack to Cokes, it's a total normal thing for them. They probably think, you know, when they're babies, they probably think everybody's parent is the same, and everybody's parent is famous. And then as they get older they just they adapt to they understand

it yeah i think it's a normal thing so tell us a bit more about coco who we've been talking a lot about and i must say the picture of her that you posted on instagram of her doing the plank is probably the most gorgeous baby i've ever seen she's so strong she just want to squint her what was it like having a baby at the start of something so huge for the world and then going straight into a lockdown it must have been so bonkers unbelievable four days into lockdown you know that the country is in proper lockdown now it's 27th of march and it was unbelievable yeah we were in the portland hospital they were incredible the way that they handled it all, their professionalism.

I remember that one. I remember walking out to get some air, walking out onto Portland Street. And it was like a scene from I Am Legend. It was not a car, bike, nothing on the street. Nobody, not a person. And this is in the afternoon on a Saturday in London onondon on portland central london our office is on great portland street and normally it's like pecky billy circus isn't it unbelievable jammers jammers i mean cars taxis everything bikes going up and down the road people coming from the train

stations down onto down to oxford street it's usually chock-a-block and it honestly it was like it was like do you know that scene when will smith is walking through time square and there's not a sinner it's that's what we're talking about here it's crazy so look it was unique the kids and Storm's mum had flown in from Australia five days before lockdown which was wonderful thank god she got in time she thank god she got in she could look after Cooper the older kids couldn't you know couldn't come in obviously either so it was just Storm and myself and Coco. And it was, you know what?

It was quite special. You can look at it and go, oh, this is unfortunate. No, it's okay. You just got to look at the positives. And we were together, you know, Storm and I. It was like having Cooper for the first time. It was just the two of us, our little unit. And Coco came into the world.

And then we got out to Storm, you know, wanted to get out two days later. We got out two days later and we had a family were there and it was magic and it was gorgeous. And then we had this really special time at home. Nobody else around. It was just Storm's mum, Cooper and us and the older kids came over later on because they couldn't travel. They were in Ireland. So it was, you know, it was, it was different, but it was beautiful. But it's fairly surreal having a baby at the best of times. You go into a hospital or you have your baby at home and there's two of you and then suddenly there's three of you. So to then walk out into the middle of a Will Smith movie and just be like, oh, my God, there's nobody here. Did it not just blow your mind? It did. It did.

And, you know, I remember when Cooper was born I walked around the corner and Jack and I my eldest we had a pint and wet the baby's head and it was this this was totally different I'm standing out in the street on my own I was calling people you know you get tears in your eyes you're you're so emotional and it's beautiful but we've never seen anything like it I hope we never see anything like it again we'll all learn from this but my god it was yeah it was very different so what about the births have you been there for five of your children coming into the world and is there a best one worst one easiest one ah look they're all magnificent creatures every one of them you know they all come into the world that they want the way that they're supposed to come into the world and it's fabulous it's

wonderful I'm really blessed with five amazing kids I truly am it's a blessing I never I never saw you know my parents my mom and dad had five kids and I always thought wow what a huge family awesome but yeah I don't think I'll be here I am at five kids you know it's incredible it's such a blessing five healthy children in this day and age I'm so lucky that's a very kind of forward thinking a mindful thing to do though to appreciate your luck I think a lot of us when we're getting caught up in that daily routine you're a bit like it is important to remind yourself how lucky you are sometimes isn't it oh look we are so blessed you know we live in a great country we've got you know great health care wonderful you know we live in a great country. We've got great health care. We're in a very privileged

position. Yes, there are people that are struggling going through stuff, but I look at myself and I think how lucky I am to be in a position I'm in. I have the best job in the world, but the best family. My wife is incredible. Storm is an amazing woman. I'm blessed. You can pick on things. You can find things in your life that can get you down and we all can do it. And it doesn't matter if you've got a billion in the bank or you've got a quid in the bank. It's everyone's stress and hurt or whatever it may be to them. It's all relative. It's all the same. And you know what? We have to find the positive in this and we've got to get through it. We'll get through it and we'll come out the other side smelling of roses, please God.

That's a nice way to think of it. Yeah, we have to, don't we? You've talked a little bit about changing nappies in lockdown. Are you a hands-on? It sounds like you're a hands-on kind of dad. I am. I love to be. I am. I like getting my hands dirty. At the beginning, definitely, you know, I changed more nappies than Storm did because I, you know, when Storm is breastfeeding as a father, there's not a whole load you can do. And it's, you know, it's, you know, there's this beautiful connection between mother and baby. And the father doesn't, you know, it's hard to find your feet and who you are in this, in all of this and your role, let's say.

So my role was to be there, to be that, to, you know, grab Coco, change the nappy, you know, put it to let her fall asleep in my arms or whatever it may be. Storm have her time, you know, the few minutes as possible, which is amazing and it's brilliant. And the whole milk thing, it's blown my mind. You know, the education I've got on breast milk over the last three years, I guess, but it blows my mind. The AMPM milk, you know, the whole thing and the pumping and all of that and and i didn't realize the ampm milk and how there's something in storm's milk definitely that makes the obviously the kids are sleeping so well that there's something in it but i made it whatever it is they have a parent worldwide who'd buy milk that makes babies sleep yes let's get storm pumping extra please

all of the parents out there who have babies who are awake. It's funny. Let me tell you. Because, well, you know, she was, there was so much milk being produced, she started, what do they call it, expressing. Yeah. And, you know, you put it away. And I, by accident, you know, because I wanted to do a feed, and I wanted to be part of it.

And, you know, we had these brilliant bottles of Medela. I don't know if you know the brand. Yes, they're brilliant. I'm sure you I don't know if you know the brand. I'm sure you do. You know, the amazing bottles. And they're not easy, but you get, once you figure out how to put it all together, put it together, you know, blah, blah, blah. And then I got the milk and it was, I used a PM milk in the afternoon. Oh my God.

I couldn't wake her up. Seriously. That's so nuts. It was unbelievable. Like the science of it all is incredible the human body's amazing but it's this is this is god honest truth and she was a good sleeper but she was sleeping so long and i we actually had to pick her up and you know they say never wake a sleeping baby but we had to you know she was sleeping too long because of this milk was worried she wasn't

going to sleep that night so funny it's amazing i might take to that on a night when i can't sleep very well there you go you were going to accidentally picked up the wrong one and poured it in your coffee that's where i thought you were going with that oh no i'm sure people have done that no no i use red wine to get to sleep at night i think baby's milk doesn't do it for me oh that sounds more like it actually yeah now after all that red wine tell us what's a normal morning like in the Keating household? Tell us your routine. Well, at the moment, because of what it was across lockdown was get up in the morning,

quarter to six and host my breakfast show from the house, Magic Breakfast. Yeah. I would do that. And then the kids would slowly wake. Cooper first, usually around half seven, eight o'clock. And I'd be able to sneak out a radio bring him into the kitchen sort him out with a little breakfast snack i'm back on radio and then at 10 when i finish if coco wakes up storm and let me know coco's waking up i'll we'll all go in coco get up and

then we the day would begin and that's kind of how it was every morning literally as we all know in lockdown it was groundhog day it was that every single day it was beautiful it was it was wonderful but it was that same thing every day they were the mornings and then wonderful summer like the weather we had was phenomenal so we were lucky to have a garden we were just out in the garden all day across those early months was April May I think when we had that you know incredible weather so it was very lucky now that I'm back in magic it's different I get up 5 a.m and I'm into the studio and Storm is juggling the two kids at home which is you know

it's much more difficult she's well able but it's it's far more difficult I get back as quick as I can and we start our day that way do you miss it I do I really miss it and and you know Storm will send me a picture of coaxes awake or blah, blah, a little picture of her face. And it's gorgeous, but it's hard. You know, I miss it. Look, I feel very lucky and privileged that I had those months and they were golden. But, look, I've got to get back to work. We do.

Normality has to be restored. Yeah, that's it. Well, we know that, sadly for you and your family, your mum died before she got to meet your kids. And that's something you've spoken quite publicly about finding very difficult. And we know it's something loads of our users find really hard. So how have you coped with it? What have you done to help yourself manage it?

Look, you know, you never get over something like that, especially when she was 51. She was a young woman. She was young. Yeah, you never get over but you learn to deal with it and that's the thing you know just learning to deal with it uh you know all of a sudden you start to learn to put one foot in front of the other and you this and you just keep moving and get going but the family and i we set up the marie keating foundation my family um in her honor but also because we were naive about cancer we weren't very educated about it and we

quickly educated ourselves but the thing with mom's breast cancer was you know it was one of the most curable forms of breast cancer and if we were more aware and she was more aware mom would still be alive today and that's heartbreaking it's devastating for us so the marie keating foundation is all about and it's in the UK and Ireland now with Cancer Research UK our you know our units travel around the country and in Ireland there we had a big fundraiser and raised enough money to get our units back on the road because we're non-government funded so we're back on the road in Ireland as well and it's just about education it's about awareness and and that is for us is very rewarding and to have our mum's name to live on like that um in such a positive way is is wonderful that is a very positive thing a very positive thing now we know your older children were born

and brought up in ireland but the younger two are being brought up in london how do you keep them connected to their irish and actually their australian roots as well is that something that you and storm are really conscious of very much so i constantly tell him coops all about ireland and you know where I where I was brought up etc you know and Storm is exactly the same with Australia we're both very country proud you know we speak all the time about our you know in the household it's always there and the foods that we eat and our musical influences whatever it may be but it's always there but you know I've made a career here in the UK for 27 years you know London is home it really is home to me I've spent more time here than anywhere else I think now in the world so

even you know I'm here longer than I've been in Ireland and and to learn about the history here in the in London and the UK and pass that on to the kids is just as important to me as Ireland and Australia and you've got two younger kids and three older kids. It's hard enough work blending families when they're all close in age. Does it kind of just take on a life of its own, or have you had to work to keep them all part of a family and keep it working? No, I mean, the kids are incredible together. I mean, Cooper just loves his older siblings.

I mean, he worships them, and vice I mean, he worships them and vice versa. They absolutely worship him and it's gorgeous. And Coco, you know, she's come in into the world and the kids are amazing with her. I mean, obviously she's still a baby, so it will take time for Coco to understand and, you know, so on. But, ah, Coops, I love seeing the kids together. It's amazing. I have an amazing relationship with the children and Storm has an amazing relationship with the older kids too and all of that is you

know it's down to Storm it's down to the kids and the way they are I stand back and you know I'm there in any shape or form they need me to be in but it's you know it's amazing to see them all together. That's lovely now one of the things tangential to that that comes up a lot on Netmums is the issue of co-parenting. And a lot of people find that incredibly hard, or even just can't find any advice on how to get it right and what they should do. It's obviously something that you've had to do. Have you got any tips for any dads or any mums who are trying to co-parent? The most important thing, I don't have any advice is the answer, but the most important thing i don't have any advice is the answer but the most important thing is being there for the kids in any way that you can and they are the most important thing in

all of us and you know i think that is the priority making sure that the kids are okay and looking after them and as being available to spend as much time as possible with them and because they need you and they need to know that you're there um so no i i don't have any advice but that's what i think i think that's a great tip that's a great tip i think you could write a book about that um okay so we're nearly anything we're nearly at the end of our podcast and we have one final question uh before we go and i have to say no offense to any of our other guests but yours is the one i've been most looking forward to because your voice always makes me cry i think it's an irish thing ronan please will you sing us your family lullaby what is it that you sing to the kids when they can't get off to sleep

you know what stormy has a gorgeous voice and she actually has these little songs um that she wrote uh for the kids and they're just little like three four liners and cooper now at three years of age will turn around and say to storm if he's like if he's feeling a little bit under the weather or he's tired he wants to go to sleep and he'll say mama sing cooper archer because that's his name cooper archer and he'll say mama sing cooper archer and it melts me i mean to hear her singing it to him and to look at his face it's just beautiful um and it's it's beautiful but it's a very personal thing that you know there's these it's cute little words that she's written for the kids and that's

just for them she doesn't sing it to anyone else she just sings it to them and she's now done the same with Coco and it's just beautiful I love that just watching that watching Storm be a mum is just one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed I love it oh that's just too much just setting me off now Ronan so do you not sing to them then is it something that you leave to her i sing stupid songs to the kids so yeah i mean yeah i wrote this song about poop on your head and dance on the bed coco and i was down i had coke i had coco in my arms and we were jumping around and cooper was dancing on the bed and i was going coco keating yes you'll poop on your head coco keating and she'll dance on the bed and i was like Coco Keating yes she'll poop on your head Coco Keating and she'll dance

on the bed and I was like she was sitting on Cooper's head and Cooper just thought this was the funniest so I guess stupid songs that's what I like to do to be honest so um uh yes Storm does the the beautiful lullabies and I'm I'm just I'm the joker well you've made Annie's day by singing her something that you haven't sung before. No one's ever heard that one. A world exclusive. A world exclusive. Do you ever sing them your songs or is that just too cliche?

You just don't do it? Yeah, no, I don't. I don't sing. No, definitely. No, I wouldn't do that. Not that I have a problem with it. It's just that I never do. Oh, well, it's just about pooping on your head.

That's fine. We'll take that. Yeah, that'll do, right? Is there any more we can say? I don't think there is any more we can add to that. We've had Ronan singing to us about pooping on someone's head. I think that's it. Start and finish.

There you go. So, Ronan, thank you so much for joining us on sweat which we should probably rename sweat snot tears and pooping on people's heads absolutely very important lovely to talk to you have a brilliant day bye see you bye bye guys bye