The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep23: Jessica Plummer on how she juggles single mum-hood with a career on the rise

Episode Date: February 23, 2021

From finding out her character was to be murdered in Eastenders, to drinking pig’s vaginas with Shane Ritchie in I’m A Celebrity, Jessica Plummer has had QUITE the year. Listen as she charts the highs and lows with Annie and Wendy.

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears, brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary. And I'm Wendy Gollage. And together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments. With guests who are far more interesting than we are. Big thanks to the sponsor of this episode, Tropicana Lean. If you're anything like me, you're always on the hunt for new family favourites that are lower in sugar and full of flavour.

Absolutely. So we have to share that we're loving Tropicana's new juice drink, Tropicana Lean, which has 40% less sugar than fruit juice on average, but still full of taste. It's also got absolutely no added sugars or sweeteners. Delicious. Now, let's meet this week's guest. Hello, Sweat, Snot and Teary people. How are we today? I am very stressed. I can't cope with

homeschooling and doing my job and living my life and all of the things that are required when you're a human being. Wendy, how are you? Similar. I think that there are many things that I am good at and being a teacher is not one of them and my daughters agree that I'm pretty crap at it and I just think all mums and dads all around the UK I feel your pain this is just crap so that's how I am okay well I'm glad we are in the same boat and feeling the same thing. So without any further ado, we're going to introduce this week's guest, who also has a child and therefore is probably doing some element of homeschooling and therefore is probably having a nervous breakdown similar to ours.

Welcome, Jessica Plummer. How are you today? Thank you for having me. I am, yeah yeah in a similar boat to you guys I think um but I'm okay otherwise um yeah just going with the flow so the first question we ask our guests every week is because of the name of our podcast is have there been any sweat snot or teary moments in your house yet today um do you know what not yet today there was quite a lot yesterday um because of a maths project that myself and my three-year-old were doing together oh lordy lord that sounds bad it is what it is I guess but so far today today's been quite good but we have quite literally woken up and um yeah met with you guys i'm still in my pajamas i probably shouldn't have admitted that

but it's just the way it is well i'll let you in on a secret i'm still in mine too i put eyeliner on for you lot hang on a minute I'm dressed I've got my diner on I've even had a get the violins out to allow for homeschooling in part of the day I now start work at 6 30 in the morning and I'm buggered if I'm going to get dressed and put makeup on it's by 6 30 a.m so there you go no good point so what is a normal morning like in the JP household? In the JP household so we try I've tried recently to give myself a bit of a schedule to follow otherwise I will just lose my mind we'll stay in our pajamas all day and yeah eat crap and watch tv so we try and give ourselves a set time to wake up just because I find that it helps me manage my time better so we roughly

wake up about around eight o'clock have breakfast and I tell myself that I don't need to worry about anything I'm not going to put too much pressure on myself until half past nine which is where my daughter will go online and have a conversation with her teacher and have a half an hour lesson of phonics um which I will use to have a shower, brush my teeth and do all of that kind of stuff. After that, we do roughly around like an hour and a half of homeschooling-ish until lunchtime, which after the lunchtime, we kind of just free reign, do whatever.

If it's a nice day, we'll go outside to the park and have some exercise or do some arts and crafts. My house is a mess. My house is really messy at the moment. But yeah, just try not to think about that too much. Yours and mine both. Yeah, I think one thing I need to remind myself at the moment is to just not put too much pressure on myself at the start of lockdown I felt really guilty that you know I wasn't doing six hours of home schooling and handing in all the assignments by the end of the day and things like that um I think just put less pressure on myself and Noah I mean she's only four years old

some kids don't even go to school till they're seven yeah four is tiny four is tiny as long as she's happy that's all that matters isn't it exactly and as long as I'm happy I think happy mummy happy baby now Jess I have a confession that in that I've never watched I'm a Celeb before until this year so my daughter's got completely hooked on I'm a celeb this year and therefore I had to watch it too and I've always been a bit like oh yeah I'm a celeb not bothered but oh my god I was addicted have you recovered because that was pretty hard the bugs the food that drink challenge I was vomiting you vomited like you vomited like it's a big deal it did do you know what it's so funny because you go on and you feel like oh you know

I've got the I think you think about it but you don't think about it too much it was as hardcore as it looked but um I can't lie there's been moments within homeschooling that I thought I wonder if the castle would be easier than this right now here like this I think something that was really nice and I took for granted whilst I was there is that there was no social distancing so there wasn't any no one needed to wear a mask in the castle we were allowed to touch each other we were allowed to uh you know, stand closer than two metres, which was lovely. And it almost feels a little bit like I've left

and I want to go back, get me back in the castle. Yeah, it's kind of like its own little world, isn't it? Yes. Who was your favourite castle mate? Oh, do you know what? We all really, really got on as a group. There's not, there wasn't anybody in the castle that I would feel like I wouldn't want to be left alone with them in a lift, if you know what I mean. But I would probably say Giovanna and Holly were like my roommates. They were the people that slept closest to me and I probably spent most of my time with but you had that bonding experience

with Shane over those quite frankly the grimmest drinks I have I don't know how you did that I was gagging on the sofa was that the milkshake with like the chicken's feet yeah or whatever yeah oh geez Louise yes no Shane I am so happy that I did that trial with Shane. I couldn't have done it with anybody else because he just, he just made me laugh the whole time and he just made it feel like, because sometimes I felt like when I was in the castle, it was hard to remember this isn't real life. You don't actually live here. You don't, this isn't, you know,

and I think that his comedy throughout that trial helped me to remember like this is all just a bit of a laugh it's all for fun um but yeah two more things I want to ask about I'm a celeb so the first one is I have heard since that that trial took so much longer than we saw you were doing that shit for hours basically oh no stop is that right really I think yeah I think I was told it was 55 minutes oh yeah there was so much that they cut because I've do you know what I confess I haven't watched the show back I find it really hard to watch myself but I did watch that trial and um yeah so much of it they cut out I mean in a good way I guess there was a lot of spitting there was a lot more being sick there was probably a lot more swearing um but yeah the whole thing took 55 minutes and they had to cut it down to I think

it was only 12 minutes in the end and you both got really ill after it didn't you so I was ill only really for that evening I woke up the next day fine um Shane however bless him was sitting on the toilet for about five days after um yeah I know I know I think do you know what I think because I I was sick so much I got it out of my system yeah that's true you know that's true you probably did a quite sensible thing so I was what I'm fascinated by is so let's say they phone you up and say oh do you want to come on I'm a celeb and you're like oh yeah okay and then does your contract say we take no responsibility for how many times you vomit the fact that you might have to eat rat's tails that will give you I don't know cholera like how does it work like do you know exactly what we're signing up to I mean do you just sign your whole

life away or how does it work do you know what I've watched I've watched the show almost every year bits of it almost every year um so I felt like I had a rough idea of what I was signing myself up to however maybe a naive part of me thought it's a show, like I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna actually, you know, actually get hurt. But every time before a trial, animal welfare would come out literally just before you're about to go in and give you the list of things that could potentially happen. Oh my goodness really yeah so stings whips bites uh like there was a whole list it was it was like a two minute speech that they would give you um

and so I I definitely was a bit naive in thinking that I I would be completely unscathed and I came out I had scars all over my legs. I had bites, even just by mosquitoes and things like that. And rats running around the castle. Oh, stop it. We had cockroaches in the castle. Yeah. Did you ever then, in one of those little safety speeches,

say, you know what, I'm not doing that one. I can't, I can't, I can't do that. No, I couldn't't I just couldn't as much as I mean you don't want to do any of them really but it's what you've signed up for you want to push yourself you want to come out the other end and be able to say I achieved that I did that that is my biggest fear yeah I overcame it and that's kind of what keeps you going plus there's the you know you want to get stars for your camp mates you want to eat you're you are starving the whole time you can't think about anything really yeah but then when they give you food it's like a partridge or something it's like the most you know there's no burger and chips when they feed you it's an eel that's just

that's the bit I couldn't cope with oh do you know what especially because we got a full house of stars that evening and it was uh Jordan that had won it for us and it was the first time he had ever gone on a trial by himself bless him and we were all so excited to see what would come down and then um yeah ill it was the texture more than anything it was so slimy and it just tasted like the ocean that's the only way I can describe it. It was horrific. And you were starving, so you're not that picky. I mean, the squirrel wasn't too bad, but the eel... Oh, stop, stop. Your taste buds become acquired. I heard your mum say that you'd never really spent any time

apart from Noah before I'm a celeb and you still shared a bed with her. So how did you both cope with that separation? Yeah, well, she coped completely fine. As always. As always. Before I went into the car, I'd recorded messages for her to open every day, just saying, hi, it's mummy. Have a nice day at school you've got PE today for example um and I recorded three weeks worth just in case and um I remember when I came out and I was that's really kind that's really I thought so but she didn't watch any I said no I asked her

dad I was like did she really like my messages and he was like no he was like oh she didn't want to watch them so I just didn't let her and I was like oh well she really like my messages? And he was like, no. He was like, oh, she didn't want to watch them, so I just didn't let her. And I was like, oh, I don't know. Well, did she enjoy watching me on TV? And he was like, he tried to put it on one day, and she just asked for Spider-Man instead. So, yeah.

That is hilarious. She was absolutely fine. I was the complete opposite. I was a wreck. Spider-Man or mummy. Do you know what I mean I'm very but yeah no in a way it was nice I'm glad that she didn't miss me too much yeah you wouldn't want her to be upset no of course not and now should there be an opportunity like with work

to travel whatever I know actually if I go she's going to be absolutely fine but I think being away and not having my phone was the hardest thing to wrap my head around being away for three weeks wouldn't have been so bad if I could FaceTime her in the evening yeah that's really really tough yeah but so did she spend she spent your I'm a slave time with her dad is that right yes um so how how do you guys share noah like we know that you guys aren't together anymore we have a lot of our audience on netmums who aren't with the um with their children's fathers anymore we know that co-parenting can be a real struggle to get right how do you guys manage it and how does it work um do you know what we're i'm really close with my child's dad's family to the point where I'd ask them as my own family.

That's nice. Yeah, I do feel really lucky to have that relationship with them. And from the beginning of us separating, we kind of just went with the flow and made it happen. And without it being strict, kind of naturally shared 50 percent responsibility each. It's really hard to follow any rigid plan because of the nature. He's an actor as well because of the nature of both of our jobs, you know, to say, oh, every Sunday to Wednesday is your day would be unrealistic because something could come up and it could all change um we do try and follow like rough days but then we're super flexible at the same time like he's filming for the next couple of weeks so i'll have noah for the next two weeks there's been times in the past where i've had like super busy months at work and he will have her the whole time um being

respectable of of each other's lives working lives but also private life as well because we do want to have time where you know we see our friends and well not so much these days but prior to lockdown yeah and so is that how you cope child care wise when obviously working as a single mom and like you say working in a job like you're in where it's kind of all or nothing a little bit, isn't it? You're either in something and you're working flat out or you're maybe not in something. Is that how you manage it? You're just lucky that you're both quite flexible. Yeah. And in a way it's quite nice because I will be all in something, but then I will potentially not be working for the next couple of weeks so then I

get to fully immerse myself and just spending time with Noah and and doing all the things that you know I daydreamed about when I was working and until three days and I'm like oh get me back to work yeah we know that feeling we're all daydreaming that now, Jess. What if we're in an office with a coffee and nobody talking to me? Oh, don't. Oh, if only. Soon, soon. There's light at the end of the tunnel. We'll get there.

There is. So what is next for you, Jess? You finished I'm a Celeb. We're in flipping lockdown. Yes. When it lifts, what are your next projects? What are you going to do next? Do you know what? I think one thing being in the castle taught me

and accepting to go into the castle is just that I want to use 2020 as a year where I say yes to things that I maybe wouldn't have and just see what happens in terms of projects that are coming up. So many things are on pause on delay um i'm not i'm not i feel like if i put too much pressure on myself i'm quite i'm a virgo i'm really uh i'm a virgo we're the best but we also worry too much don't we we worry way too much we worry so

much we're big control freaks and we feel guilty about not doing things so I feel like yeah this year I just want to be a little bit less hard on myself not feel guilty about you know working too much or working too little and things like that and just yeah taking opportunities that come that might not of necessarily but being open-minded but I think that's a really good way to be for a year where none of us know what the hell's gonna happen you know no we all thought Christmas was gonna happen and then two days beforehand it stopped happening so it's a really good way to be to just be like do you know what let's see what 2021 throws at me I had heard a really good mantra recently. Someone said, anyone can do anything just for today.

And that's all you can do, isn't it? All you can, all you can, any of us can do at the moment is get through today and then see what happens tomorrow. Yeah, exactly. I'm just trying to survive. I just want to make it to the end of the day.

I know. So, but what about music? You started out in a band. Do you think that might happen again? or is that ship sailed for you? I love music. Music for me is up there with acting and performing. I highly doubt I will ever be in a girl band again. I love singing, but yeah, like maybe on the other side, like maybe involved in music in some way in um but not the performance side no I feel like I'm a better actor than I am singer that's interesting well a lot of people would agree with you wouldn't they now I know Wenda

you were keen to ask all about EastEnders EastEnders love a bit of Eastenders. So we know you as Chantel and her character, your character raised awareness of domestic abuse in the most shocking way. How was it to be the face of such a serious issue? And is it hard not to take that stuff home, I guess? I think it was one, was a complete honor um and but also it was it was a pressure because I really really really just wanted to get it right if you know what I mean but I think with with the team that I had around me because I mean I just had to kind of make it realistic there was so many other people involved in in making that storyline what it was um uh the writers the directors uh Toby who plays

um Chantel's husband um that I think as a collective we really worked well to to make it what it was and um Chantel's her life you know what it was and the ending and everything but i i i did have days where i would come off of set and walk into my dressing room and sometimes just like have a shower or um listen to some really really happy music to kind of shake it off just to make sure that i shook it all off because there were days that were really hard what's it like to be bumped off as it were like when and how do you find out that your character's getting the chop and is going to be killed off and were you pissed off like what happened how does it work so I found out um over Christmas 2019 um that Chantal would be murdered and um I had a feeling when I was called to the meeting that it would be

to discuss that there was only two ways the storyline was going to go he was going to die or she was going to die um so I had a feeling that that would be a possibility um but it did still come as a shock and it was it was tricky because it felt like I mean I left the meeting I said okay I got in my car I was driving down the M25 and it kind of felt like I was just given the news that a friend was terminally ill or something, which sounds really odd because it's my character and it's me and it's not real. And I should know more than anybody that it's not real. But it felt like all of a sudden I needed to kind of mourn my character to say goodbye to my character. I would get dressed in the morning on the months building up well obviously lockdown happened and changed quite a lot of things I'd put

on like Chantel's wedding rings and be like oh her wedding ring oh my goodness is this gonna be the last time she wears it kind of thing um so yeah it was it was weird in in that way and also you you join a cast like EastEnders and and everybody feels like family straight away and I I think at the time I was told that I would be leaving around April May so I would only have roughly four months left worth of shooting and it was like oh my goodness I'm not going to see the makeup girls anymore. I'm not going to, you know, take this route to work anymore. And that was that was sad. But I guess, you know, everything comes to an end eventually. So lockdown happened in March. And I remember thinking, oh, this is going to prolong things a bit. Maybe they might change their mind.

And it wasn't until we all got our scripts back that I found out that she would be murdered in the first two weeks of filming, which I now think was the complete right thing to do, especially given all the statistics around domestic abuse. I know. Yeah, I mean, it was it was definitely the right move. And what a powerful way to like as a show come back after being off of air uh so yeah it was kind of bittersweet like an honor but still sad at the same time everything and do you feel are you continuing any work in the sphere of kind of domestic abuse and championing that cause because you've very much almost become like the figurehead for it now we associate you with that now don't we yeah a lot of a lot of women do and it's so

it's heartwarming just like even little things like walking down the street in my local going to my local supermarket and a woman stops me and she'll you know say how she knows me and and thank you and it feels I almost feel like oh my goodness like yeah like I was a part of of creating that storyline and and and actually helping women you know speak up and leave and that in itself I mean although it was sad to leave EastEnders I always said even if it means one woman escapes their domestic abusive relationship then it was worth it yeah what a powerful thing to be part of what a powerful thing to be part of now lightening the mood slightly as we get as we get near the end of our podcast we always ask the same last two questions of our guests first up jess what's

for tea tonight oh oh have you guys thought that far ahead already i know don't be sad that you haven't i'm glad that you haven't i'm really glad that you haven't because i haven't either okay good i always feel slightly guilty asking that question because i never have when we ask we usually record things in the morning and i'm like I don't have a clue what anybody's getting fed for lunch let alone for tea I know I haven't thought about lunch yet either and it's nearly that time isn't it so no idea we'll take that that's a good one no idea okay well this next one's even worse so the next question that we ask people but she'll be all right because she's a singer when this next one's going to be fine that's true so what we always finish our podcast with is we ask our lovely guests to imagine they're tucking annie and i into bed for the night

and sing us your lullaby nervous laughter you may laugh you may laugh but we know that everyone has something that they sing when their child is struggling to get to sleep do you know what i used to play tanoa when she was a baby and it used it was like magic it would silence her straight away david bowie heroes oh i love a bit of david yeah but completely random i mean i it came on the radio once and she was in it because she used to hate the car seat and it came on the radio once and she was in it because she used to hate the car seat and it came on the radio and she was literally as soon as it started she just stopped crying it was like my go-to it was like magic as soon as i played it she would just settle

um but i'm not going to sing you that what do i sing my daughter daughter loves Beyonce. She's obsessed. And Gwen Stefani. You're picking really tricky songs here, Jess. Bar Bar Black Sheep will be fine. You're setting the bar very high. I should stick to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star or something, right? I would. I could make something up.

I could freestyle. Go for it. No, let's not put that pressure on myself. You are so overthinking this that is my middle name that is literally I'm a Virgo um I feel like quite a lot of people have probably taken the easy route and sung Twinkle Twinkle so I'm gonna not do that one I really want to know what do people see I know I'm overthinking this now guys but what do people sing at the end of the podcast what it's like some people have a song that they've made up for their kid that they always sing them that is so sweet Paloma Faith just blew our mind with yeah Paloma Faith is amazing Joe Wicks sings You Are My Sunshine which nearly made me cry.

G sang Edelweiss which actually made me cry. Yeah, that made us cry. That is amazing. I feel like such a bad parent. I do not sing to my child unless it's in the car and we're rocking it out to some Beyonce single ladies.

Well, I just think you and Noah are much cooler than everyone else do you know what there was a song when I was pregnant that I would sing to her and so I'm gonna sing that song okay go on and it goes I can feel your little feet kicking inside of me feel your little hands high five inside of me mommy feel your little hands. High five inside of me, mummy, she loves you. Yes, I do. I can't wait to see you, my baby boo. Yay!

That was fab! You're the first one who's sung a In The Wounds song, so you get that prize. Yes. Oh, Jess, thank Yes. Oh, Jess. Oh, Jess, thank you so much. You've been a fabulous guest and it's been lovely chatting to you.

Oh, it's been an honour. Thank you so much, ladies. It's so nice to chat to you. Good luck with the rest of lockdown and homeschool. Yeah, we'll be thinking of you. Thank you so much. How does this work now? Do I just kind of press X and then I go?

Yeah, you're done. You're done. You're completely done. Oh, I don't want to. I want to, like, have more adult conversation. I've been talking to you for a year now. We can bonus that later if you want, just for a chat. Don't leave me.

No, OK, cool. Thank you so much, guys. Look, you are in a house on your own. Take that moment. Take the silence. Go and just lie down in a house on your own take that moment take the silence go and just lie down in a quiet room no I would that is true that is very true I might say that it lasted two hours and to definitely not come back before 12 o'clock there we go okay take care see you later lovely to meet you jess take care bye bye jess this episode was sponsored by tropicana lean if you're trying to better manage your kids and your sugar intake they're here to help with their delicious lower sugar juice drinks

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