The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep34: Annie Price: what being a burns survivor taught me about communicating with kids

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Listen as Annie and Wendy talk to TV presenter and fitness trainer Annie Price about her astonishing childhood story and how it's made her the mum she is. To find out more about BBC's Tiny Happy People campaign - designed to help us develop our child's communication skills through simple interaction and play - check out their Instagram page here @bbctinyhappypeople

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary and I'm Wendy Gollage and together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments with guests who are far more interesting than we are. Hello campers, today's guest is so great and her story so fascinating we've decided to ditch the preamble and wade straight in haven't we Wend? We have welcome to presenter to personal trainer Annie Price. Any sweats, snottles, tears in your house so far today? Definitely lots of snot. Who's? Who's? Who's snot? There's two loads of snot actually. My

littlest one, my baby, she's seven months, and my toddler had a few tears. We had two. What were they upset about? So I wouldn't let him have a flat jack for breakfast. Damn you, you awful woman. You're so mean. So mean. No, but do you want to hear the best part?

On Fridays, he has a little special date with my husband and his dad and they go they skip breakfast at home and they go to Costa and get a baby chino and croissant oh that is too cute so easy easy you know you've got a you've got a sweet goods baked goods coming up that's hilarious why does no one do that for me now I'm a grown-up no I'd quite like to go out for a baby chino and what were her tears about sorry what's your daughter's name annie she's called lenny oh that's the cutest name um what was she crying about or is she just being a baby oh she's being a baby you know babies are and it was actually about the snot that's why it made me chuckle because she you know some babies got their thing that they absolutely hate. She hates having her nose wiped. I just can't bear sitting there looking at boogers hanging out.

Oh, it's gross. I'm like, sorry. I remember vowing before I had kids that no snot would ever be seen coming from the nose of a child. The caterpillar nose, yeah. And I remember other people saying, you know, when you have your own, it doesn't bother you. Yes, it bloody does. Yeah, it's really grim. It's really's really grim it's really really grim i think we've mentioned this on the pod before but i think each parent has the one thing one of the fluids

that they can't deal with and you know i can do sick i can even do poo but i can't do snot same big greenies hey well hands up guys i can't do any of them does that make me really bad parent it makes you a princess the minute someone vomits or there's big bogeys or anything like that i'm like simon simon simon they need their dad okay to be fair with the sick i'm okay when they're one and under when it's just that milk even the exorcist sick when it's just like how did that much come out of you because I didn't put that much in but as they get older and there's food and lumps yeah I'm with you I'm out stop you're starting to make me feel sick just talking right moving on the other early

question we ask all of our guests other than the ones about bodily fluids is about lockdowns how were they for you now you had a baby a baby, basically, during the pandemic. How does it compare having a pandemic baby versus a non-pandemic baby? Well, I think I better start by saying it was smoother for me because obviously I'd already had one out of lockdown. And as we all know, the second time round is a lot easier because you just know. You already know, like those midwife visits that you take time off from work for and you go in and then it's like all of three minutes of attention. Anyway, that's like a regular midwife visit is even quicker. Oh really? Yeah. So it did feel like I was going solo and I was, you know, roughing it in the wilderness, I like to think.

The main memory I have of my midwife pregnancy is weeing in a pot. Basically you go basically you go say hi you're in a pot she dips something in your way and then you go home how do you do the wing in a pot thing when it's locked down it just didn't happen I did do one and then I did about two probably about a month before I had Lenny because they were worried about I had really bad my thing you know everyone has their thing in pregnancy something goes wrong with your body I was like varicose veins and I'm not talking like a few glidy lanes I'm talking if you just saw my legs you'd think I was 90 years old they were like you know like London underground heavy thick do they go away again when you've had the baby or do they stay no they do go because I had them with Sonny and they progressively got worse and then when I had Lenny they kind of came back instantly and it was the whole of the leg and I was convinced that

there's no way this is ever going to go because it was that bad I'm talking like two fingers thick some of these veins I'm talking yeah I'm talking there's one that I actually want to keep pushing back in because I actually felt uncomfortable you're making me feel faint again I'm sorry guys I'm you know what I'm being really being really crass. I'll keep it more ladylike. My apologies. Don't be silly. We don't do ladylike. No, we're not ladies.

Oh, good. So does that, I guess, going back to the whole pandemic thing, did that affect how you found the pregnancy? Was it, were you more detached from it? Was it just, I guess you're a little bit more detached from number two anyway, because number one's running around doing your head in. But was there, I don't know know because we weren't pregnant in pandemic I don't know what it was like was it tougher was it scarier I wasn't necessarily scarier but I felt

you know how you know I hate to use this word as a negative because it's just part of the woman's psyche but you can get a bit more hormonal when you're pregnant yeah um so I probably felt a little bit more alone in that you know I felt all those irrational thoughts that pop up I didn't really have that sounding board of just you know the carefree chat that you have with your friends that sort of just makes you feel better because yeah sure you still talk to your friends and we're still seeing them but it's always been a bit of an event isn't it you know in lockdown everything's got to be a thing so I think that just sort of that nice little chit chat would have been nice um but the plus side for me is I felt like I had to do more like I had to make more of an effort and my labor with Sonny my first whilst it was technically all natural I didn't have any drugs

and it all was fine it was like a 19 hour you know painful birth you know as expected you know you're pushing a baby up it's not going to be plain sailing so I was like you know I need to make it better and it hadn't ever occurred to me with Sunny but with Lenny I was like I want to have a good birth and I decided to start YouTube and this is where I go crazy I don't I went down a YouTube hole because I started finding out loads of different stories of good births. And I would actually force myself to watch them. Because before I had Sunny, I was like, I don't want to see this. I didn't even watch One Born any minute. I didn't watch anything.

Yeah, people are funny about that. They go one way or the other. I always say, how many episodes of One Born did you watch before you had a baby? And people are either like, I binged the whole series, or I didn't watch it. I couldn't bear to. I didn't want to know. Didn't want to know.

I don't know. Because for me, all my experience of labour was that movie, screaming, movie screaming sweating terror it hadn't occurred to me that it would be good and also even when it was good it was too good like I'd see these women swimming around with their whole families in the bath you know and their husbands yeah and rocking them and I was just like no I don't want Sam in there with me I like you know I couldn't find the balance whereas because I didn't have as much touch base with the midwives, I was like, I need to do a bit more research. And I did.

I sort of looked into all these different births. And I found some really nice, very pleasant, as they could possibly be, births. I didn't even know it existed. And I've been shouting about it so much to all the people I know is to watch it. And I'll tell you something, I kept watching these births. And I just had it in my head. It's going to be like that. And it was.

It actually turned out really, really well. And, you know, it was actually a wonderful experience. And I've heard other people say that before. And I've honestly just been like internally rolling my eyes like, oh, here we go. Because I just thought, you know, giving birth is not, it's not that. It's an experience, it's an adventure, but it's not wonderful. Whereas, you know, I'm not going to lie and say it wasn't painful because crime and age, I mean, it was.

But it was good and it was quick. You know, it's a lot quicker than the first. I think that raises a really interesting point, actually, that so much more of birth than I think a lot of people give it credit for is psychological. Yes. Yes. I think you're well placed to comment on that because, as a personal trainer, so much of fitness is psychological yes yes I think you're well placed to comment on that because as a personal

trainer so much of fitness is psychological it's not necessarily about what your body can technically achieve or not achieve it's about can your brain apply what it needs to apply to get it done isn't it there are parallels aren't there there is definitely I think for me I had it in my head and this is the thing that I would draw home to anyone expecting or having a baby is that try and find your level or your space of calm now again I don't believe I could have listened to this information with my first but you know it's just being able to go right it's going to be painful because I think a lot of the time as well when you see good births they say I felt no pain I'm like let me crazy of course you've got pain watermelon's coming out of there so for me

I was like expected the pain and that makes it okay so when I do have pain I don't go into that panic and then seize up my body you know yeah so for me it was watching all these these these good births I had nice images of it and then for me it was just all about the deep breaths like I watched one of those ones where you just literally the down breathing and the up breathing that's all the only things I learned and then the rest of it was just to be chilled and be calm as possible and so when I went into labor I literally I think it was about three o'clock in the morning or four maybe and I literally just stayed in bed because my toddler was in with me my husband was downstairs on the sofa he ditched us both and I was just cuddling my toddler and I knew I was in labour but I said you know I'm just going

to see because I'm not 100% no you know you only think it is but you're kind of hoping not I just stayed there cuddling him and I was just like I just want to stay nice and relaxed and then I got up and I was like you know what this is starting to push a bit more now so I went downstairs gave Sam the nudge and actually just laid down with him and we had a cuddle on the sofa which was nice and then we decided to come back up because Sonny was on his own so all three of us had a little cuddle and again it was still manageable pain and then Sam was like I'll give my dad a call in a few hours I was like no clear dent now right now and then I went in the bath and then I was like no now I'm in a lot of pain here and I just went straight in the bath purely because my back hurt and that's what I did with

Sonny the middle I said go in the bath and in all honesty I think I could have had him there but I refused I know it's a wonderful idea to have a baby at home yeah but for me I'm like I don't I don't want to clean up that mess I don't have to worry about it I'm a little poor that's a great reason not to do it I sound like it's really awful I know that probably makes me sound really prissy but I'm not at all but I just I don't I was like and I'd like a bit of gas in the air. Yeah. Treat me. Who wouldn't? Yeah, give me that fun. So, Annie, for anyone who doesn't know your story, and it's quite some story, can you even summarise your story?

Could you have a go? Could you tell us a little bit about your story, please? Of course. I'll do it in a short way and then you can. Do you have this, like, learn off pat ready to go? Oh, yeah. Or do you mix it up every time? sometimes mix it up you know sometimes people ask me for my my nationality as I'm adopted I say and then sometimes oh yeah yeah Slavian why not yeah throw it out there um

no so I was born into a traveler family and my mum was white and her husband was also white so when I came out black you know it put her in a difficult situation and everyone around at the time thought that she'd obviously cheated and so when I turned up in the hospital four weeks later with third degree burns everyone thought that she'd done it on purpose my mum had tried to kill me and put me in a fire and set lights to it, which is obviously not a nice way to grow up. I think we can all agree that that's not the ideal. But I was lucky enough to be fostered into a wonderful family and then later adopted by the same family.

So I do feel very, very grateful. Is it right that you found out afterwards that actually your mum definitely didn't do that to you yes so I mean afterwards being 30 years yeah you know so I grew up the bulk of my life believing uh she did hurt me but I do want to say that I never was angry about it you know I was never like I hate my mom or this is a terrible thing so it wasn't when I found out that it wasn't the case it wasn't like a big reveal and a big oh my god I've been living a life you know I was very fortunate that I wasn't carrying anger because then it was just not a pleasant part of the story to learn whereas I think if I'd been angry the whole time, it would have been like, whoa, you know, I was angry over nothing. I can't believe I wasted my life.

But I'd always just thought, you know, no normal person with a loving, kind, normal, if you can ever call a family life that, would ever do something like that and make a decision to hurt their own child. So I just thought she must have been in such a bad way, in a bad state to do something like that that so I actually felt sorry for her um but no later on I went to the fire brigade archives and I looked into the day-to-day and all the information and I actually found out that she wasn't actually there um it was her mum that was there and um I mean it was a dubious accident if you like you know

there was definitely neglect there but you know as I found out along the way there's a lot of victims around that story or my story um you know there wasn't any winners there no to have been this anger-free person and to be this anger-free person did that come naturally to you is that your natural disposition or should we credit the family you were raised in for helping you to become this very evolved balanced resilient brilliant person I'm fascinated by the nature nurture thing you're wonderfully kind to say that so thank you very much but in all honesty I think I don't think we could ever know you know the nature nurture I'm fascinated by as well but in reality I don't know you know we're never really gonna fully know but I think it's probably a mixture of the two I was always quite a spirited kid you would say um but it was definitely directed by my mum and the people around me I'm incredibly lucky I mean I would

always say I liked her in the shows when you see her she seems like such a cool woman she's great she's really great she's very kind of hard in a way but in a good way like stoic I just love how direct and chatty she is like she's direct and chatty and I can like now we can talk about anything and everything and she'll give me her opinion um and she knows she I always felt like as a child she knew the right balance of telling me the truth of my story you know age-appropriate truth there was never a big reveal it was always honesty which I think is is necessary on all in all aspects and also she was really good at finding the line between pushing me because in reality I'm going to have a slightly difficult childhood I was going to have a difficult childhood looking the way I did or where I do what is my tenses here can we blame new baby um and she knew how to push me but she

also knew how to say okay you can have a break like on occasion I do remember looking back and and and pulling that oh I'm really ill I'm really sick I wasn't sick she knew I wasn't sick but she knew I need a bit of a day you know let her let her have a break, let her have a day. And then she equally knew when I was, you know, doing competitions and she was driving all over the country and I went and sent a McDonald's burger. She'd say, you go into the service station to get it. And I was like, I don't want to. People stare at me. It's annoying. And she's like, if you want the burger, get your ass in there. You know, she sounds like my kind of mum. Like all kids, you're not always going to want to do it.

And so actually you do need someone. And there's a couple of times I was really upset and I didn't want to do things. And she just said like, I'm sorry, but that's it. That's tough luck. That's how it goes. And so that's something that I've carried on now, I think almost to the extreme actually a little bit now.

I'm sort of more learning to not force myself to do things you know sometimes but I'd rather be further this way than um the other and are there still times like the service station where you're does does it still affect you in the way it affected you when you're you were a kid or do you just go and get the burger now are you kind of like no this is me this is how I look get lost the second one good like I'd say 90% of the time but sometimes it just gets boring um but in all honesty because you know I'm older as well so I understand you know if it was vice versa I would look at me too so it's you know I don't ever get annoyed on a level of that person's meaningful staring at me or saying the thing or doing the thing or whatever because in all honesty I've said some crazy ass things as well it's by the people my husband's like Annie have you seen yourself like come on you know it's

natural right it's how it's how we all just it just comes out sometimes you know we do things say things but it's not that but obviously when you're on the receiving end of it non-stop every day sometimes it can get a bit tiring and I can't really be bothered um and actually that's what I was talking about when I said I've started to not push myself to the extremes whereas now like my husband says he's like I mean you don't want to do it just tell me to do it you don't have to force yourself and he's quite right you know I think where I've always had to just get on with things I would really force myself to do it and I'll break myself if I don't do it and I feel like I've let myself down whereas now I've sort of got to the point I'm like actually no that's that's not something I need to stick

my neck out for I'm just gonna you've got to pick your battles haven't you you definitely have to pick your battles yeah is sunny aware of your story scars anything or is he just like your mom and that's the end of it well i'm still mom that's the end of it but he he has noticed um as i say it's funny you should say that because it's been quite recent um he it was actually when i just had lenny i think lenny was about a month old and it was still that wake every two and a half hours to feed in an express. You know, the worst thing in the whole wide world. It's just brutal. And now you look back, you know, and you're just like, oh my God, I was a zombie. Like I couldn't.

I don't know how any of us survived that. I honestly. I know. I don't know how anyone's marriages survived that either because basically the two of you are just like, I can't do this. Yeah. Well, Sam was, my husband was on the sofa downstairs. That always helps. It helps him, maybe.

Yeah, it helps him. Yeah, so I was in this way and he was like, Mummy, because that morning I think he said what's on your hand talking about my scars I said oh scars and I said about my scars and he's like oh where's my scars he was like I want some I was like no darling you don't want these it's because you know the way they are they see you and they want what you've got and then I love that that just shows how much he loves you it's amazing I was literally like oh bless you but that's really interesting my little girl's got a big scar across her tummy from surgery when she was a baby yeah and she's really proud of her she calls it her line and

she's like nobody else has got a line mummy I mean and she's that's so good I just love the way kids take it like he wants one because you've got them it's just yeah honestly I think this is why I'm such a champion of this how my mum was as well if you're proud of yourself and you live well and you live bravely compassionately you're giving them the right to do the same and they can model that from you and they can be that way so it really isn't how you frame it but what I meant by I was up really late you know I was in that first month period is because he'd come into my the bedroom at like nine o'clock but as you know nine o'clock could be three in the morning at that point it's just who knows whether it's day or night exactly he decided to set up camp and asked me the deep dark nature of my burns and really wanted to go into it

and I was like I can't shut this conversation down it has to happen because how tired I am I've got to have this bloody he was ready you know and he was there and he wasn't toddler you know when you're like they're crazy and you you know it's like pissing into the wind there's nothing happening um but he was sitting there next to me like lovely mummy why why do you have these scars like what and he was sitting there next to me, like, lovely, mummy, why do you have these scars? And he was really asking. I was like, no, this, you know, he's ready, let's go. But it just amused me because I was like, mother, you know,

you don't get a chance to have it in a nice organic way that you could decide when you're sitting in a peaceful outdoorsy area in a romantic way to explain your feelings. You're like, I have my nipples are bleeding and my baby's crying but yes let's do this right now yeah yeah it sounds like not just what happened to you but maybe the fact that you were not deliberately misled but you you were led to misunderstand the situation regarding your mum and the fire and everything it sounds like that's made you very determined to be very open and always answer Sonny's questions and I'm sure

Lenny's questions when she has them do you think the two are connected or do you think you would always have been that mum who loved chatting with their kids and not holding anything back oh I mean it's hard isn't it to no one never know yeah it's hard to look back and see how but do you do it consciously do you wake up every day and think I've got come on we need to keep these lines of communication 100 100 I really really do um and I didn't realize you know because before I had Sonny I do I do like kids but I wouldn't say I was the most maternal woman in the world like I wasn't the sort of woman that would run you know cross test goes to speak to a random baby you know like in the family I love them but I'm not some of my friends were that way you know and they understood

kids and it was that and I wasn't really like that um and so when I had Sunny everything was just so new I didn't realize that they were kind of in the game until they were five in my head and then I got working with um BBC Tiny Happy People about language and development and how speaking to your baby whilst you're pregnant I didn't even I couldn't believe it really helps them helps them learn understand the world and obviously gives them the best start in life but I didn't realize that so once I learned that I did start the open conversations quite early because in all honesty I didn't know what else to say. You know, in my second, I'm very like nursery rhyme and fun, but with Sonny, you know, I was like,

this is how I like to make a cup of tea. Right. It goes in second, you know, like I would just talk about my day and, you know, my life and talk and it, you know, so I've always been very sort of open and chatty with him in that way but soon as you'll make a great cuppa when he's older I think he's gonna be a really cool straight talking dude I hope so but yeah no so for me it's important because I just think that a lot can go wrong in your life you know you can really have some big mountains to climb if you and it will

to be honest no one's gonna get through this life without some big dollop of excuse my french shit that they have to wade through it will happen to everyone at some point i 100 believe that and that is just life right but that allows us to enjoy the good bits that's great um but i think it's just so important to be able to communicate not even just other people but to yourself you know like I am bad I did a bad thing you know these little different choices are all because of language and they have to speak to yourself and I want to give that to Sunny you know my mum gave that to me and that no conversation was was off the cards and quite often she didn't have the answer you know sometimes it was just like Annie

this is quite difficult you know it's going to be hard. Her just being there and us talking about it in agreement was nice, you know, because quite often people, as soon as you tell someone this thing's happened, they jump right in and want to heal you or fix you. Want to make it better. Want to make it better. And then growing up, that was kind of forced on me a lot. You know, my mom used to get in a lot of trouble I love she needs to see a psychologist she needs to be with counseling she needs to do this and I didn't want to and I was like look you know let her do her thing and I've always found that just speaking and throwing love a situation

actually helps it enough you know my situation doesn't need to be fixed you're like me being burned all these things have happened are really sad but if you can look on it for what it is and not what it's been done to you that kind of makes you feel okay actually I was going to ask about that because was becoming a mum triggering in any way for you you know thinking about your experience as a baby when Sonny was the same age you were that you were burned there must have been an element of you that that kind of opened up a little bit having a baby of your own yes definitely um actually with Sonny if I'm honest it wasn't too strong I think because as we know the first child is like a sledgehammer to the system and we're all living

in code red so I really want to just focus on him and the joy and the love whilst I loved him the joyful feeling wasn't really there as much whereas with Lenny um it's my second you know the love and the bubble and the wonderful scrunchiness of their little bitty feet and all of the rest of it came quite quickly um and where I was a lot more relaxed yeah I did struggle I'm not gonna lie so it's locked down and that kind of all came out um but I expected that because you know if you've ever had anything difficult in your life as we all have how often you know even now you might think of a difficult situation and something will trigger it and you'll remember it and it comes back like a wave you know it's very rare that we go through something can we go yeah thank you see you later job done um but yeah I'm

not gonna lie I kind of hadn't I parked it I kind of thought I wouldn't have any sadness but having you know and even when Sunny was four weeks old I was it did sting because I'd never felt sorry for myself I'd never sort of taken time and be like, yeah, you know, that's really bad. That's a really sad thing that happened to such a tiny, tiny baby, you know, rightly or wrongly, accident or, you know, on purpose, whatever way it happened, it's awful, you know. So when I was holding Sunny and Lenny at those ages, yeah, I did struggle and I did have a few tears and I was quite sad about it.

But again, I'm all for letting emotion out. I think that it's good to be sad and sort of lean into it a little bit. Well, it's the only way to deal with it. It's not going to go anywhere unless you ride through it, right? It's not going to go anywhere. It's not going to go anywhere. I just stopped drinking, I have to say, just because I find that if you're a bit sad or a bit edgy you know it's a time to sort of knuckle down and really just be still a bit more and calm and sort of allow these things to pop up yeah don't add a gin and tonic to that mix not a good idea no did it also sort of develop your empathy a bit for your birth mother biological mother I'm not sure how you refer to her um because we've

just been laughing haven't we about that newborn chaotic who knows whether it's day or night or which bit of you's hurting more than the other bit and all of that stuff I'm guessing if she you know she'd had a child as a result of an affair and probably wasn't getting the support that she needed it must have been very difficult for her did that kind of resonate with you at all when your babies were little of course all of it I mean I always knew it was a sad story not just for me but for quite a few people that were around at the situation at the time but I just felt really bad for her because you know,

I know we're all talking about privilege. It's quite a big topic everyone wants to talk about right now, but we are so privileged, you know, even if, like me, I am a minority, you know, burnt, mixed, adopted, nine fingers, you know, like there's loads of things going on with me, but I'm still so lucky. I've got a wonderful support network. You know, I've got friends, I've got people, I've got the NHS know, there's loads of things going on with me, but I'm still so lucky. I've got a wonderful support network. You know, I've got friends, I've got people, I've got the NHS I can lean on. You know, we've all got these different ways of coping.

Whereas I look back on her and I just think, I believe she had no one to really help her out of that, you know. And what a dark place you're going to be in. It must be so hard. And carry that for the rest of your life. And she had a short, she didn't, I mean, she died when I was seven, but I know she had a really hard time because of all the things that have gone on. And it just makes me feel sad.

And I think that's what happened when I had Lenny. I just felt sad for her and the situation. But it was an appropriate feeling, yeah. It was an appropriate feeling, yeah. It was an appropriate feeling. And have you ever wanted to or tried to find out about your father, your biological father, or indeed the story that you've told us? Have you ever kind of delved into it deeper than, you know, finding out more about your dad, for example?

In all honesty, I did a documentary about my past and sort of we found out so much information I'm really grateful for that that experience um to do that and it actually opened a lot of doors in that a lot of people came into contact with me so I did actually find a lot of information but as I'm sure we all know it's all from their level of perception and their perspective, their experience of the situation. It happened a long time ago. So there's a lot of different opinions floating around. Yeah.

And it, you know, even now, if I'm honest, I still have people get in contact with me and message me. I don't always speak to everyone, but for me, it's just got to the point where,

you know, you either say, I'm going to keep going and find what, what, do you need what do you want yeah what are you actually looking for what are you actually looking for and it's like you know when people say I need closure from a relationship it's like you give yourself the closure you don't ask the guy or the girl or the person that you need this conversation you know you need to just set those boundaries for yourself and just say enough's enough and for me personally I was like I've got a nice life here you know I enjoy my work I love my husband I want to have kids this is back at the time when I have kids I want to

move forward with my life and so for me personally I just thought it was a smart decision to to close a book and just say enough's enough I've got enough you know there's never gonna it's never gonna end that's the thing no that could keep going and going and you could dig forever I don't want to live there I don't want to live in the past no especially when you have children you need to live in the present don't you like I always think like essentially your kid's childhood is just a sum of the million and one now moments that happen in any day. And you can sit and have all these lovely ideas about making the perfect child of them. But essentially, it's about just having lots of lovely moments sewn together, isn't it?

I absolutely love it. Like, it's just these fun little, I know it's hard, right? It's crazy and they're wild and they're weird a lot of the time. But like, it's the best problem ever. Do you know what I mean just it's just wicked so yeah no I love it it's really taught me to be a bit more present because I think like everyone we're all a bit one foot into the future what we're going to do next how we're going to do it and kids just aren't like that are they it's right now no it's not like that or with you a bit not that you did this but

I think sometimes you might have been forced to do this a bit one for in the past because like it was I thought it's really interesting what you said a few minutes ago about all the labels that could be attached to you you know adopted burned mixed race traveler Irish like what you know all of that kind of needs to be just put in the box, really, when you're looking after your kids, because there aren't really any labels. You're just mum, aren't you? 100%. And in all honesty, like, I always felt kind of lucky that I had so many because I've seen people with one or two. And I think it's quite easy to cling to and delve into. But it was quite clear, you know, if I was going to have a problem with one thing, I was going to have to have a problem with everything.

I've got no time. I want to be happy and I want to have fun, but I'm not going to do this so I just you know and then again being a mum it's just great I do quite like that though being in a being in a for the first time I felt really in a clan and this isn't to make it sound sad but like growing up you know I had loads of friends I had a great time I didn't wasn't a sad childhood at all but you know I'm different and I wasn't you know people talking about spots I'm like I've got loads of scars people are talking about you know difficult scared of being at their BCG I'm like I've had a 50 operation you know I mean like there's so many things I did I couldn't mirror but it's quite cool to be the the mum crowd I'm like yeah I'm in the little bubble when it's and it makes you

very normal I think it's quite nice it's very leveling there's nothing in the world as leveling as having a newborn I don't think it's so good though well and that's why we did this podcast that's why we decided to do a podcast well yeah we're talking to people who might be in the public eye or well known but they're talking about the thing that being the public eye or well-known has no influence on whatsoever it can't help you your kids don't give a shit if you're famous or not they don't give a shit I literally love it I love that though I genuinely I love that that's the bit that's as you say leveling it makes you forget yourself because I'm always so far forward you know I'm always I'm out people always look at me I stare at me I get a lot of interaction but when you've got your toddler you know literally sitting on your foot as you're walking along through Tesco no one's

looking at anything apart from the table at that point but speaking of being in the public eye you've become increasingly public as your career has gone on and as you mentioned now you're an ambassador for the BBC's tiny happy people how does it feel to be seen as such an inspiration to others are you aware of how remarkable you are or does it just does it just come are you just naturally marvellous oh please are you kidding I don't know I've always found it quite difficult being inspiration when I was a kid I didn't appreciate it because it kind of comes with a pressure as well doesn't it like if people think you're amazing you've got to be amazing yeah oh you're so strong what does that mean I've always got to be strong and not just that but it it kind of made me feel like oh you're such an inspiration

I'm like in my head when I was younger this is awful guys and I remember this is a teenager you know I'm allowed to be stroppy yeah I felt like people were saying you're so ugly you're an inspiration I was like why why do I you know I couldn't get my head around it but it's not until I've got older that I'm really like that's such a lovely thing if at all people do think that and it helps them in some way it is a lovely thing and do you have a plan for what's next oh I'm just focusing on the kids at the moment if I'm brutally honest with you because I feel like I'm not going to get this bit back I think now out of lockdown I feel very very close to I'm jumping off the edge and things we won't get this beautiful bubble again so I am still kind of one of those back but no we've started

talking about a documentary about self-help. And I'm thinking about one around drinking and the grey area drinker. And I'm doing a lot of talk. So I'm still moving in the right direction. So I'm going to get going again. Good for you. Take it where you can. Enjoy squidgy seven-month-olds.

That's just... Oh, yeah. That's the perfect age. You're at the Weetabix on the walls yeah can't run away that's my kind of kid and she's um she doesn't appear to want to crawl at all so I think she won't be walking for a while either so great and isn't it funny because with number one you're doing I remember sitting on the floor with a toy trying to like entice her to move and then with number two I'm like stay there don't move sit back down there you're not because you know that the minute they start moving it's all

completely gone to that point so true now one of the final questions we always ask our guests is how do you want your kids to remember you what do you want them to think about when they think about you that's such a nice question okay let me have a little think you know it's more of a feat oh go on no no i was just gonna say annie i don't we never think about how we'd answer these questions that is a really tough question to throw on people we should give them some time I'm gonna want to hear your answers after this but you know I'll endeavor um I mean I'm kind of reflecting what I kind of feel about my own mum and some people that are in my life they're incredibly important and pretty much parental figures if you like but I guess that I like them to feel that I showed up you know like I lived well you know for myself and

for them and I was brave and compassionate and that I loved them so much that they could really love themselves as well that's really nice and no one said that before oh really yeah that's a really great answer because that is what it's all about isn't it the reason you love them is so that they learn what love feels like yeah yeah that's yes and it and it's I just see things nowadays and this is no I'm not that I'm judging it's more an awareness because everyone loves in that own way and it's hard not like I've got my kids now and you know I've gone through some hellish experiences in my time like I really have but heaven forbid I don't want my kid to go through it and I know the benefits of them

you know so it's really hard to unleash your flaws and let them experience the pain but you know who are we to rob them of that amazing experience of feeling the good and the bad? Yeah, I'd never thought of that before. I'd never thought of that. But at the same time, like loving someone and then releasing, that's what I'm hoping I'll be able to do. Right, go on. Now, Wendy asks a really different kind of question. The next question, Annie, is what's for tea? For tea tonight? Yeah. yeah oh i love this uh oh it's

actually it's turkey burgers and chips thank you we had a really good dinner ask me what i had yesterday what was for tea yesterday oh well it was a really nice curry with rice it was so delicious and it had some vegetables in there. It was so good. But yeah, tonight it's just turkey burgers and chippies. Well, actually, you say just turkey burgers. I've never tried to make turkey burgers. And I saw Courtney Cox making turkey burgers on Instagram the other day.

And I thought, ooh, I want to try them. That's five minutes of your life you will never get back. I think you're very on trend annie with your tea choices oh that's how you treat me do make a turkey burger though they're quick easy very cheap and they're yummy like the kids love them even lenny i've tried them on her seven months old cut it in a quarter she's sitting there gumming away loving it good girl woman after my own heart right when who's doing the last question me or you if my name's down next to it did we decide if you're going to tell me about how your kids want to remember you

absolutely not no we're gonna well at the moment at the moment my seven-year-old daughter just screams at me off about eight times a day you're so mean mummy you're just so mean because i won't let her do whatever the crazy thing is that she wants to do so all I'd like to be remembered as is not that mean not a mean cow when someone who was fun you are you are I'll tell you when they're older you feel like have you got your socks on have you brushed your hair have you cleaned your teeth we're going now if you're not in the car in three minutes I'm going without you all of that stuff sometimes when they're a bit older you find yourself thinking oh god I just need to stop and build something with you or draw something or do something so I think fun I love that I love that I really agree as well my husband he's the fun one and like my kids love him and they really laugh and I'm like no I'm hilarious but I'm not I'm not you know they come to me when the house

is burning down yeah but also I think as mums we're the ones who make sure that they've got their waterproof trousers for forest school this morning this is actual this morning or you know have they have they been to the dentist in the last six months and all of that stuff that's no offense dads but they don't tend to do that it's the mums don't you say that okay i'm gonna let you in on a little secret to do with my household he's that person and i'm uh let's snuggle up in bed and have a deep and meaningful chat about our feelings kind of person okay i'm gonna i never remember the dentist i never remember to pick up the prescription i never know how many poos they've done.

Yeah, Sam's actually the one as well. I just went quiet because I felt like I shouldn't admit that. But yeah, Sam's the one. He's the one that reminded me that Lenny should be drinking water now that she's six months, not just milk. But maybe that's the lesson there, that we all need to be a bit of the other person as well. Because I'm listening to that thinking,

does it matter if they haven't had the haircut? bit of the other person as well because i'm listening to that thinking it doesn't matter if they haven't had the haircut i should just be laying in bed watching moana mine will grow up and say i wish you'd spent less time making as much moana in bed with her and taking us for a haircut instead oh no i love that what you just said though and we need to be a bit more of each other yeah i think we do and now we go from the sublime to the bloody ridiculous right so we promise you're not being mean asking you this question we ask it of everyone you're not alone you can all form a support group afterwards okay we ask that our guests sing us their family lullaby we know we know that every mum and

or dad has a go-to song in their arsenal that they sing when the kid won't settle down and go to sleep and we'd like to hear yours please missy okay i'm gonna give you backstory on this one okay my son made this up for lenny and he's the favorite of the family so i sing this song it's not a nighttime song but i sing it at night so invariably It's not a nighttime song, but I sing it at night. So invariably it's become the nighttime song. Okay, you ready? I've got a great voice, guys. So you might want to sit back and enjoy this one, ready?

Lenny, Lenny, have a good day. Lenny, Lenny, you're a good girl. It works, right? Lenny, Lenny, we look after you. Oh, I like it. Now what we really need is Sonny to come in and sing his version. Yeah, bless his heart. Send you a video. Yeah, do.

That would be amazing. I will. I really will. I think he's got a bright future ahead of him as a songwriter. Do you know what? I'm not joking. It really does. Like, it's her favourite song. I think he's got a bright future ahead of him as a songwriter. I'm not joking. It really does. Like it's her favorite song.

She's really upset. I've just given her a cow pole or something, something upsetting. If I sing that, she's, oh, why do all babies hate cow pole? It's good for you.

It helps the pain. Oh God, mine don't. We once found, mine love it. We once found Florence talking to a bottle of cowpoles saying I am a grown-up open up because she couldn't get in it that's so good I see mine love it now but as babies oh my god it was just like you were waterboarding them or something I know I know and she gets so Lenny gets so upset that she will vomit it up and I just like why did I even give it to her she's not bothered well top tip go on top tip Annie from the nurses at Great

Ormond Street who know a thing or two about sticking medicine into babies was you have to aim for as if it's their top back wisdom tooth because they can't spit from there that's the trick okay why have you never told me this? And I've now been through the babyhood with both my children, Wendy, and you never told me that. Sorry. You obviously love Annie Price when you love me. Well, yeah.

On that note. Before we have a row. Annie, you've been amazing. Thank you so much. Guys, thank you. It's been so nice to be here with you. It's been really lovely. I feel like I know you really really well i think we should all go out to the pub one day shall we hello yes that was a yes sorry yeah we're in always in it's been a pleasure to meet

you annie thank you so much and you thank you guys all right take care bye thank you