The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep37: Rochelle Humes on the quest to raise kids with good values

Episode Date: June 8, 2021

Listen as Annie and Wendy talk to Instagram’s favourite mum, about how to raise kids who know how lucky they are, plus what it’s like following in the footsteps of a truly remarkable mum of her own. Oh, and don’t miss her singing go at the end. It’s ace.

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary. And I'm Wendy Gollage. And together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments. With guests who are far more interesting than we are. Good morning, sweaty, snotty, teary people. Or should I say good afternoon? Oh no, it is morning for us here recording.

Can we have a drumroll please? When we set out to do this podcast there was what that was that a drum roll i didn't know if it was a really bad drummer well done um there was one guest that we always really wanted because we know that our audience absolutely adore her and wendell today is the day we've both abandoned our children on half term to record this that's how big a deal it is. Wendy, how excited are you? I'm really quite excited.

I'm not going to tell you anything about anything. I just want to talk to her, please. Okay, so with no further ado, let's say the biggest welcome to Rochelle Humes. Oh, that was so nice. Oh, you are more than welcome. That was lovely. Honestly, our leaders and our listeners love you. They do.

Everything we write about you ever, they just lap it up. Oh, that's so kind. Oh, goodness me. I'm not sure why. You might not have known it before now, but you are a net mum. Well, I'm into being a net mum, so thanks for having me. So the first question we always ask our podcast guests, and I should imagine with the amount of little people running around,

you'll be able to answer in the affirmative. Any sweat, snot or tears in your house this morning? Well, I have a little boy that is almost eight months old, so I feel like I constantly have sweat snot and tears just from one human um just from existing um but this morning do you know what this morning was actually it's one of those mornings that were really easy I kind of bank holiday had happened and then my kids school do this really amazing like summer camp the girl that's what they call it but it's kind of like really good

outdoor activities and they love it there and they meet up with their friends and they like it's a thing like we have to plan what's going in the packed lunch and like it's a real ordeal yeah they love it so this morning I was kind of thinking about today obviously back holidays done we've all had a real lazy nice sunny weekend and um I really need to crack on and do a lot of work. So I was kind of thinking, oh God, please don't have a wobble about not wanting to go, you know, and it turns into that. But thankfully the two elders got out of the door okay and they're all right. And my youngest is currently having his late morning nap. So at the minute, I don't want to speak too soon, but I'm winning. I'm talking to you and no one's

crying or asking me any questions yeah I mean so at the minute we're all right in about an hour I'm sure it will change yeah that you can only live hour to hour I'm seriously jealous I've had to leave all of my kids so I'm at my sister-in-law's house so there were five children under nine and it's the noise my god the noise oh yes and i left them all in a paddling pool with a bowl and water balloons and just walked home and said i'll see you tell me there's an adult tell me there's an adult near the paddling pool wendy well there's granny granny is there with her prerequisite 52nd cup of tea of the day. And they're all just running foul. So I'm just glad to be in another house. Yeah. Do you know what? You just got to take these wins. You really have. Yeah. You've saved me, Michelle.

Set them up and then creep away. Set them up and creep away. I feel like that's always the good tactic. So remind us how old, Blake is eight months, isn't he? Yes. I just put his name right he yes I have haven't I yeah that's right yes yes don't worry you're all good no our colleague our colleague has a lake so we get confused right yes no um he is a Blake and he is eight months old on the ninth um and I do not understand genuinely and I've had three, like I know how this works, but I just don't understand with him. I don't know if because he's arrived in the middle of a global pandemic, but it's just gone so quickly.

I think it goes faster and faster the more and more children you have. That's the rule. I think because he's, he will probably, well, he's eight months and he's not really met, he's not met everybody. You know, like we're normally like, they've seen seen everyone they've been in and out of everybody's houses and so he's just starting to meet people which is like odd and lovely all at the same time so I wanted to ask you how your lockdown was obviously your lockdown is quite different if you've had a baby during it how did you find it all do you know what in it was really sort of it was a weird time because it was obviously not you know

it's we're in a pandemic and hopefully really nearing the end of it now and it was you know an awful time for the world right but there was positives that I could take from it so the fact that well since me and my husband met we've both lived super fast-paced lives and you know we're kind of one in one out and that's just how we are and so for the first time in a long time we like were one of those couples that were like up on watching box sets and we like we're like oh yeah we've done that one on Netflix and doing everything together yeah doing everything together so it was actually really nice and refreshing I think for the first bit of pregnancy I wasn't on

telly so I wasn't like I didn't feel you know every pregnancy that I've had up until Blake I've sort of been on telly or been in a girl band and felt very like I want to just be under a duvet but I can't because that's just my job and I'm self-employed I need to get out there and get on with it um so it was quite nice sort of hiding away and the world was hiding away so it didn't matter um obviously the downsides you know just when I see people that oh my goodness I just I forget you've had a baby you know because I think and I just hadn't seen anybody and celebrated those milestones and you know I think it was quite a scary time to be pregnant and find you know everyone was learning about the coronavirus as

we still are as we go so like you know were were was I more at risk they didn't know I was than I wasn't and then you know all of that sort of stuff so it was scary but also beautiful at the same time if that's possible yeah in some ways does it take pressure off that sort of new baby bit where you're, you know, you've got visitors coming and all of that shenanigans? Oh, 100 percent. Like, I mean, this is terrible, isn't it? But one thing that is quite nice to say, oh, you know, we're not really seeing people at the minute. We're not going to be able to do that soon. No, I know. We're going to have to be sociable, aren't we? Have to be sociable again, which obviously I've missed.

But at the same time, it's sort of like, oh, yeah oh yeah when this is all over it's the line that everybody's using it when this is all over we'll definitely have to get together even even though you know you're probably not going to I've said that about a hundred times everybody has me and my friends are having a chat about that the other day they were like oh yeah you can't just you can't just hide away anymore so yeah I think it definitely took the pressure off you know everybody coming over and that influx of people but I am one of those weird mums that actually love that bit like I love that yeah when you have a baby my trick is and I always say this to new mums I let people come to the hospital because I like that I'm so in the bubble

that I'm just like I love I like, want to just stand on the roof and show my baby off to the world because I'm so buzzing. So I make everyone that needs to sort of, that I know is going to want to see the baby straight away. I'm like, I'll come to hospital, come and meet them. So obviously I didn't have that this time, and I missed that.

I love that bit. And then what I always do, and I always say this to new mums, when people are like, oh, can we we pop in people don't pop in before you know it you're up making cups of tea and making them a sandwich yeah so I let everybody everybody key and everybody that I know is going to want to see them like as soon as they're born come to the hospital and then stay away from me yeah and then yeah but do you know what I do? I go to them. I go, no, we're out and about and we're seeing people.

That's a nice tip. Yeah, I say this to all new mums. When I'm ready, I think, like, give it a couple of weeks. Oh, no, we're popping out to see Santa that day, so why don't we pop in to see you? Because do you know what? You can then pick up your baby and say, well, I need to get him home for bath time or I need to get,

and you don't have to worry about when the hell are they going to leave. You can just go. And it doesn't matter how messy your house is because you're not going to see it. Yeah, they're never going to see it. They can make you tea. Yeah, they can make you tea.

And you can go there and sit there for a bit and it doesn't matter if you're 20 minutes because you've done the nice thing and you've popped to see them. It's the best way. That's one of the best new mum tips we've ever had. I love yeah it's a good one I say this to all of my friends was it weird giving birth was it like was Marvin allowed with you did you have any of those obviously you must have been anxious about it but was it a different birth experience than with the girls

so I Blake was born in October so it was at the time where it changed a bit so I remember people were then going on holiday of a summer and it was it was more relaxed and then it went back into lockdown again literally after he was born so we sort of it wasn't as you know say one of you know a couple of my other friends that had babies in their April time when it was literally at its peak it wasn't like having a baby then if you know what I mean so it wasn't as scary he could I was having a cesarean um so he could come in with me which which was nice so I'm going to move on to talking about your nursery now your nursery photos quite literally nearly broke the internet

and that sparked a conversation in our office about if you were your mate what do you buy Blake because he's got like loads of stuff tell us what was your best new baby present so Blake's nursery first off just became like my hobby during like pregnancy and one of my best friends is an interior designer for a living so I was like I know what you can do for my nominating what she can do from her for my baby gift um why don't we will you just help me because she's so busy and working on people's homes and stuff it's like can you just help me do a really cool nurse I just really I knew what I wanted but just putting it all together just seemed like a headache because I was so pregnant you know and we had such fun doing it together it became like such

a passion and there's so many things I've learned from having other kids that I thought do you know what I'm gonna just put a bed in the room straight away like okay this podcast top tips yeah let's just yeah I know this is a top tip podcast yeah I did that for my second and it changed everything everything it does right yeah so I just feel like with a layer I feel like I changed the bed I had a bed and then it was a cot bed and then she had another one because she was too big for the cot bed and then she was bigger again and I feel like I just the bed situation kept unraveling so with him I thought the cot's gonna go the cot is gonna go so I'm gonna put a bed in there that means also when I do the nights or like when my mum wants to come and help me I'm in the room I can lay down and yes there was so I've got so many messages like why have you put a bed like he doesn't need that he hasn't even been in it and I'm like no but listen to my point here this isn't to look like a fancy bedroom this is for sheer

practicality and the fact that I won't survival strategy and I won't have to do it again so I also made it really white and all the accessories were black and animal print and like cute but then I thought he can then also he's going to tell me he wants it different then that can all be removed and he can add spider-man or whatever it is he's going to love, I don't know, to the room. Oh, he has a bed. You are a genius. I love it. It's taken three, guys.

It's taken three. Maybe that's the problem. I stopped it too. And so I just never got that last bit of detail. You'd be putting a bed in now, I'm telling you. If I had a third, I'd be divorced, love. So don't worry about it so that was yeah but I think my best present was from my one of my bestest friends Gemma we've been friends since school just after I left school and she

she had her baby in March so hyped lockdown scary yeah no one knowing what's happening yeah that wouldn't be nice that no no it really wasn't and I was so sad for her because she tried for such a long time to have a baby but she'd she'd um I didn't have any joy breastfeeding my first two times and I was determined I was like look I don't you know me and Marvin decided between us we think three's enough we'd found out we were having a boy, not that that mattered, but it was sort of like the cherry on top. And I was like, I don't want to do this again. But I know that I really want to breastfeed

and want to make this happen this time. Yeah. Obviously, she just like was fully breastfeeding at this point. And she was like, OK, I'm ordering you something. And don't like lose this Amazon delivery open it and put it in your drawer by your bedside because in a few months you're going to thank me I was like what okay and she ordered me these um silver cups like for your breast they're like they're actually like metal I don't know what they're made out of they're

actually metal are they like nipple cover things? Yeah, as you'd imagine a cover to be. It's almost got, it's almost deeper. So. What do you do with it? Rather than, so you put it over your nipple. Yeah. And in your bra, but it doesn't, because it's like a cup at the end. Yeah.

It doesn't even touch your boob. And so you don't get any rubbing or, you know, like the covers that you put on your boob that are like, I just find they just rub and get on your nerves. The ones that are like boob sanitary towels, basically. Yeah, yeah. And they get stuck and they're annoying and they're, yeah. This is literally a cup.

So you put it on. Wait, you need to tell me what it's called. I need to see it. I can't imagine it. I'm going on Amazon while I'm talking to you. Yeah, wait there. put it on wait you need to tell me what it's called i need to see it i can't imagine i'm gonna get i'm going on amazon while i'm talking to you yeah wait there is it called silver cups breastfeeding one second silver nipple oh silverette nursing cup yes yes yes yes yes there they are they're from italy can you see them and listening to this is going to be googling

as yes because i'm a big fan of the breastfeeding i absolutely loved it so i'm fascinated by these because he's a serial breastfeeder she was on it i was i breastfed for like 800 years when you had it oh my god see i see i was just really with a layer i felt really like i was 23 when i had i was just like oh i don't know i tried it and i was like oh no nothing's really working and i think i just shut it down myself because i freaked myself out about it i was like you it was really hard yeah and then i didn't and then with valley i was like oh well i just you know it was a winning formula alas slept quite well and it's not broke don't fix it and then i just really felt like i was like pining for this experience I've never had so what do these magic silver cups do do they help they protect your boob and I'm guessing

is this right Rochelle that the silveriness the metalness promotes healing or something if you've got a bit of yeah yes and they're they're really cold and literally because they're because if you can see they're like deep right so they're not flat you you your nipple doesn't even touch the sides if that makes any sense yeah so you pop it on top and you just don't feel like you've got anything on so these silver cups were like my lifeline and you know they're not the there was all different ones in here i'm just looking at amazon it would be a nice gift for someone because it is quite expensive and it's silver. So it's kind of special, isn't it? Yeah. So hang on, how much?

They're like 40 quid. 40 quid. Yeah. Yeah. 40. Some are 26. Maybe that's a different make. Maybe go for those. Some are 26 and some are 45. And did that mean you could breastfeed him? Did it help? Well, I did breastfeed him. I breastfed him until he were three months, I think, which for me was such a big achievement. And did you feel good about it?

I did. He was then, he had an intolerance to cow's milk, which was a whole long drama, which is why I tailed off. I thought I actually, it did hurt. I wasn't expecting that. Hi, yay, yay. I found it quite quite I didn't really find that that eased I don't know why he's just like a piranha um so he then went on like goat's milk formula which he has had since which really suits him then I was like doing a plant-based diet oh if I just I just, then it just become very hard.

Yeah, that's really complicated. Yeah. And then the more that I was then trying to be exclusive just to me, then my milk wasn't coming and it just got a little bit hectic towards the end. And do you know what? To be honest with you, had I have pushed through a bit more and carried on being plant-based and I was like, I've done this for three months now. I've got, Elias asked, telling me, Mummy, what PE kit do I need today?

And it was all just like, for my sanity, I think it's a good time to wind down. You have to pick your battles, don't you? Yes, pick your battles and know when it's right. And I did have a lovely time doing it, I have to say. But that's what matters if if there's a point where somebody isn't enjoying it you or the baby and you're finding it it's harder than it's enjoyable that yeah listen and you you know everybody's got to be okay and if you're not okay

struggling on with breastfeeding for the sake of it is really hard sanity over anything else I always say yeah absolutely and it's a bad move for you and your team right like I could feel myself getting to the point where and he could and one day I'd eaten something and then I felt so guilty I just cried all day about it I didn't realize it had dairy in it and then he was in agony and screaming and I was like oh my goodness me I've done this and it dairy in it. And then he was in agony and screaming. And I was like, oh my goodness me, I've done this. And it was just, it was just a bit of a struggle. Had he have been my first, and that's the way round it happened, I probably would have, you know, he was, he'd be my only reason, right?

So I kind of could have probably pursued it a little bit more. But that was it, three months. And I thought that, okay. And Marv was like, look, I think you're good now for everyone's sanity why don't you just give yourself a break because i did fair enough now back to the house because we're just obsessed with your house basically at netmoms oh yeah oh yeah honestly every time you post something you sound a bit i promise i'm not gonna stalk I'm not going to come and bang on your door. But every time you post something, everyone's like,

oh, she's put another picture up of the house. We love it. Now, is it very much your baby or do you and Marvin share the vision for the beauty that is your house? Marvin isn't so interested. He won't mind me saying. He doesn't really care if he's tell he's plugged in and you know the fridge is working and he can take a shower he's not too bothered like

but then he loves it all afterwards like right so then he's like i love this and then i'll hear him like telling people oh yeah we thought this when we were doing it I'm thinking wait the royal whoa whoa whoa you've added a we in here because you you weren't interested mate um do you know what I love it I'm obsessed with interiors it's like one of my favorite things to do and I will bought anyone sense this well we always do well at the things we like don't we I think the lovely thing about it is that your house is very beautiful but it doesn't feel like anybody else's it feels very you oh that's nice yeah because you know sometimes on Instagram I get it all just becomes a blur because everyone's following the same trends and kind of doing the same things aren't they

whereas when you put something up I'm like that's Rochelle I know it's Rochelle oh really that's so funny yeah I think I think that's how your home should feel very you yeah I mean which a lot of the time is blooming chaotic so I've got to try and find a nice corner to take a picture of where there's no mess and no dirty nappies and baby grows are you conscious of that do you do that Instagram yeah do you hide the error with the dirty pants or clean hopefully pants on um oh if i want to take a picture if i want to take a picture of something i will 100% say marv move that muslin move that nappy a minute out the way i'm just taking a picture it's in the background and is he there like muttering obviously before you're doing it

as if you care um no i do cares that that is ruining my picture but yeah I don't overthink it but yeah a hundred percent if I think it's ruining my my vibe and that nappy is going so does the same thing apply when it comes to the kids like who's good cop who's bad cop what's the thing you and Marv most whinge about over the kids who um it's gonna be really interesting to see how the dynamic unfolds now we have Blake yeah I'm not sure if it's an opposite sex thing but I'm definitely tougher on the girls than he is for sure there's no two ways about it like yeah he is soft they literally have to say daddy and give him like one look and well he's felt it they've already got what they've wanted and I don't think they've finished the sentence um where I'm very much like well no Marv they don't they might have asked for

it but it's not their birthday it's not Christmas they can you know this is around the corner or yeah and I'm like Mar mom she'll be fine leave her she'll learn that's life but but my mum seems to think that could happen when Blake's of the same sort of age and is he there is he going to be sat there the dad you know sat on the porch with his shotgun when they come home with boyfriends like assessing whether they're any good or not he just seems to think that he is going to be this cool dad until the end and I was trying to explain to him I was like babe there's going to be things that the girls will not want to talk to you about because you're their dad he's like they always know they can I'm like no they of course they will know they can but there's going to be some things that they'll say

to me mum please don't tell dad but you know yeah because then they might not want to speak to you about it because you're male and he hasn't got his head around that yet oh I love it I know I think I know I was I think I think that's just life and he's like oh no I don't think so because I'll you know if they want to talk I'm not going to be I think they'll have to be more the girls when they bring anybody home whether it's male or female I think I think it will be each other that will be the because the girls are so close yeah I don't think they'd be scared of us I think they'd be scared of like oh gosh the sister that's really interesting yeah it's fascinating watching the sibling bonds develop isn't it yeah yeah and I also think myself like I'm just trying to think from when I first met Marvin's family like he didn't have a

sister but had he have had a sister that would have been tough I think that would have been more intimidating to me than his parents if I'm thinking about it sisters can be harsh I say that as a sister yeah of course we all are like I know that like you know my sisters have brought their recently brought boys over and all, you know, we've been out for dinner and they're messaging me like, be nice, he's so nervous on the way. And I'm like, what do you mean be nice?

I'm not going to be mean. But they're like, it's just your eyes. It's a look you give. I'm like, wow, they must just be sister eyes that I don't really know happen. Sister eyes? Yeah. I love that.

I'm going to go back to my sister-in-law and see if she does sister-in-law eyes when I get back yeah yeah exactly exactly now on my list of questions is can we please have the secret to your success because you started out as a singer now you're all over our tvs guest presenting this morning and everything you show on instagram is instantly adored your fans call you squad goals mama you've got a gorgeous husband three stunning kids can we please have the recipe because we want our lives to be as great as yours you're missing out a lot of in between there um oh my goodness well when you say it like that, I feel very thankful. Do you know what it is?

I just think you get one life. And this is one thing that I really try to project onto my kids. You know, when I started in telly, there were people that... Well, I started in telly when I was, like, 16. And, you know, that was what I wanted to do. And then an audition came up for a group, and I thought, actually, I think that's what I wanted to do then an audition came up for a group and I thought actually I think that's what I want to do now and then the group finished and then I was actually I would like to go back into telly and you know there were a lot of sort of cynics that were like oh of course she does because you know telly is this world you can't just decide you want to now enter it sort of thing yeah I'm like well

why not you know when I went when I was younger I went to performing arts school for weekend you didn't just learn one thing it was fun because you got to cover lots of different things and I think you can have a hunger in your belly for so much and you can open yourself up to so much if you're open to it you know so I kind of you know when a liar will say things and you know some of them aren't realistic one minute she wants to be a dolphin trainer and a teacher and also but I kind of I just don't discourage any of it because I just think someone's got to be a dolphin trainer and yes and she's like I want to be a dolphin trainer and a vet and a hairdresser and a doctor and a teacher I'm like sure and you know she's

got time it's fine yeah I don't know oh and a mum and a mum I was like oh wow if you're gonna be a mum I'm not sure any of those are possible because we haven't we don't have a lot of time honey um with anything I really think if you open yourself up to things in life and I think we can all be closed up to stuff about even knowing just thinking it's just not in the realm of possibility but why not because it has to happen for somebody so when you know people were like oh I wonder if they're going to take her seriously and telly well now that's all people know me for you know yeah so I kind of think you've just got to give it a go and believe and work hard and that's one thing like I'm not scared of the graft and I think it's there'll always be somebody that's not as good as you but if they're willing

to put in that work then it's them that are gonna succeed so I think that's one thing I always try and tell my kids is just to go for it, whatever it is. But if you're going for it, work hard because it's not just going to fall in your lap. That's true. Is that how you were brought up or is this something that's kind of come upon you at a certain point in your life? I think a bit of both. Like my mum was like, my mum raised us as a single mum. And how many of you were there?

So I have siblings, but from my dad and then from my mum raised us as a single mum and how many of you were there so I have siblings but from my dad and then from my mum so okay my mum raised me and my sister okay and then I have two other sisters and a brother from my dad yeah um she was raising us alone and she used to work so many jobs then she wanted to own her hairdressers I remember and then I remember being like early teens I want to say probably like 17 and my mum was like I really want to be a paramedic and then she went to college and she yeah did she trained yeah and then incredible yeah she went yeah like honestly brilliant so I think her sort of like and also she was literally raising two kids by herself there wasn't like I'm lucky that you know first of all we've worked hard and we're fortunate so yes we could afford for help but I do have Marvin and well

it also gets risky when you're bringing two kids up. You're changing your income source and you need that income, right? So it's really bold. And I also think when you've got teens, when your kids are older, to just be like, oh, actually, I want to do this. When you're sort of, really, when my kids are like 17, that's like, oh, God, they're sort of all right now. I'm still parenting, but it's not, you know, we're out of the woods, right? So to go and

have a whole sort of new challenge and like I really admire women who do that my granny my granny did it when her kids are teens she switched from being a nurse to a teacher of disabled children and it involved her doing like a PDCE and all yeah of course and I just think god hats off to you girls that Just brilliant, isn't it? My husband's grandmother did it. Just being determined. What did she do? Oh, really?

So she left deepest, darkest Wales as a single mum, like 65 years ago, and moved to London and trained as an orthodontist. Oh, wow. How amazing is that? Is that on Tim's mum or dad's side that's Tim's mum's mum so she just decided she was off and she left and she went to London and retrained aren't we all lucky to have those women as like in our lives to reference and aren't our kids lucky to have

them to reference but what Rochelle you, like, how would you feel? Obviously, your kids have got two pretty talented parents in the vocal department. How would you feel if they wanted to go into the industry, whether it was telly, whether it was singing? Do you mind? Would you like them to? Are you against it? Or would you rather they were

paramedics I don't really my mum would say not a paramedic I'm sure yeah obviously do you know what I have no expect genuinely and wholeheartedly I have no expectation for my kids I really don't I have you know there's nothing that I expect of them or I just want them I honestly want them to live their best life and I feel we have worked hard and we're we're and you know we've become fortunate you know I suppose from a financial perspective that you know we can you know live in a nice house and they're set up in a nice way but I don't want them to think that that is life like yeah don't let that mean that you know you still need your dreams and your goals and your and you know we've sent them to a lovely school and they're you know they're going to be around

nice opportunity which is very different to my you know how I grew up you know my mum was hustling and you know money wasn't a thing and it wasn't, we had a really happy childhood, but it wasn't kind of, you know, always fun days out and this, that and the other. So I think I just want them to do whatever makes them happy and be whoever that is that makes them happy so I kind of have no I don't know people often say to me do you think they'll do the same thing that you do if they're you know dancing around and you know around the kitchen do you think they'll want to do what you do like just have no idea like every every child even like my friends kids they're all doing the same you know dancing and singing and it's just whether they then decide that's the path that they want to take and listen if they did then obviously I could help them um you know I suppose show them show them how this industry can be really super crazy and they'd have me to keep them grounded

through that but I think I just want them to be who they want to be ultimately like and that is whatever their goal is however small and however big I just want them to be happy I think but how do you make that happen when you're when they're as fortunate as they are like like you said they live in a lovely house they've got two parents with incredible jobs they go to a great school and they've got lots of opportunities how are you gonna make them see the benefit of finding their own life yeah yeah 100% I think that's a really good question because yeah I mean it for myself as well no 100% that's a really good question because I you know maybe I've always I've had hunger in my belly from such a young age but I sort of

also needed that hunger in my belly right if I wasn't gonna you know my mum had me we lived in a hostel um for a while um when I was when I was like a newborn we my mum then I want to meet your mum she sounds amazing she is amazing she is can you bring her next time as well I will bring her next time and you won't you won't well? I will bring her next time. You won't, this podcast will be a long record. Oh, does she like to chat? She can chat. Love a chatty mum. We used to call her the Romford Recorder.

She just knows everything and everything. So yeah, so she, and then she was lucky enough to get a council property and then, which was a flat and then a home. And then she bought like enough to get a council property and then which was a flat and then and then at home and then she bought the home off of the council which I remember I remember that was like a huge day huge day um so what I'm saying is is I had that hunger in my belly I suppose from my mum and from the life that I had right I, I didn't just have stuff. It wasn't a thing where I guess my girls don't have that, right? You know, if they run out of something, you know, I'm going to buy it.

I'm going to get a new one. And that's just the product of the environment. There's not really anything that, you know, there's nothing they can do. It's just what they know. So I think mine is with like life lessons and, you know. And I also think the real world, like not all of their friends live in a house like this. Not all of, particularly their family, you know,

when they're like desperate to go and stay with their cousins of a weekend, that, you know, they don't live in the area that we live. They live where I used to live or, you know. So I think it's just having that real sense of life. And to be honest with you, I don't actually have the answer for that yet. No. And I'm sort of finding my feet as I go. Can you email it in actually have the answer for that yet no and I'm sort of when you find it as I go I know to us because I will yeah I will now I think I might know that your answer to this question before I even ask it but as a mum that has lots of mums who look up to

her who do you turn to for inspiration and I've got got a feeling. It's your mum, you might know. It's the Romford Recorder. It's the Romford Recorder. It absolutely is. Yeah, do you know what? It's so funny when you say mums that look up to me. I'm really just, that's so mad. But they do.

But they do. They really, really, really do. So go on. Is it your mum? I think, yeah. I think that, I think also we're all winging it. And I think that's one thing when people always say,

oh my God, I love you as a mum. It's really not, you know, Instagram is a clip of the best bits of the day. And I think, and also, well, not everybody lives like that. You know, mine is, I'm honest, but I'm also want to, it's a page where I like to put

the nice parts of my day. I'm not going to put, for me, that's just not how I always operate. And I'm also want to, it's a page where I like to put the nice parts of my day. I'm not going to put, for me, that's just not how I always operate. And I know some influencers do, but I'm just, no, and I just don't, I'm not that influencer that goes, you know, shit is hitting the fan today. It's all going wrong. Blake's screaming, a lad doesn't want to get dressed.

The last thing I'm thinking, girls, is let me get my phone out and take a picture of myself. I was about to say that. So when I see those things which I love and I think it's it's you know it's that it's real to a degree for me that isn't real in my world because I think to get my phone out when oh look I love it oh the kids look gorgeous there let me take a picture of them but I don't find it real to post the horror of my day because I'm too busy trying to bloody get out of my horror so for me it's sort of like a highlight of my day because I'm too busy trying to bloody get out of the horror. So for me

it's sort of like a highlight of my life and you know I'll always be honest if people ask but I just don't remember to take pictures when I've got a shitty nappy next to me and like you know and I'm trying to cook dinner. You've got other things to think about quite frankly. I've got other stuff to think about um but yeah in terms of who I go to oh always my mum for everything though literally for everything and my aunt my mum and my aunt have the best advice with is that your mum's sister or your dad's sister she's actually my god mum but she's just yeah I call her my aunt yes yeah um and and then her and my mum are best friends and they have been since well before I was born so they literally are like my sounding board and you know they're the people that like will get annoyed for me about stuff you know when I've

not even processed the fact that I'm not like like oh do you think this has happened is that right and they're like fuming and I'm like oh you know when they love me to that level like we're that we're that close so yeah they're my little sounding board and like if anything's happened with the kids or with you know and straight away they're like well when you were young we x y and z and I think that will always then that's so useful to just have those so like your bedrock yeah however however a lot has changed and that's the thing I always say yes little things like a layer asked me for a tiktok account and she's eight and i'm like no she doesn't need a tiktok no i called my mum and my

mum was like what what what what would they do on tiktok i'm like so this is where it kind of stops now there's this sort of like new section of parenting that obviously wasn't covered before um so yeah i mean she only wanted it because her cousin had it and they she stayed there and it was like oh you know they're doing these dances and I'm like you can do the dances but you don't need a tiktok account that's a tough thing to navigate what I've got a nine year old daughter and I'm coming up to that like starting to request and it's really like you have to be very firm and you're not their friend at that point you're most definitely and it's particularly hard when they can see a friend who's got it

is that's the night this is what sets it off for me I'm like because then what you're eight years old you do not think so and so at school's got and then that's when I'm screwed so I'm like okay but that's when you turn into your mother because you hear yourself saying if everyone else jumped off a cliff would you jump off and suddenly you're like oh shit it's happened I know it's happened I can hear her I can actually hear her she's coming from inside yeah she's coming from somewhere if I like it or not I think for me I'm just always like you know no so and so isn't my daughter and this is how we do things I'm sure there's lots of things that you do that she doesn't do or she isn't allowed to do like you know of a weekend I let you have a sister sleep over and you stay up to this time and I'm wondering

is she allowed to you know so I kind of like try and find the but you know when that's the hardest bit of parenting for me is when you're literally thinking on your feet yes and you need to have a sort of because they just hit you with these things yeah yeah it's not like anything else in life where you'd be like right we're going to have a meeting about this tomorrow um so you know you can go home that night and have a think of all of your points and why they're valid actually because they won't forget if you say it on the hoof and no exactly say it wrong it's like branded on their brain they'll remember it yeah well you've done it then that's it you've said it and that's where like kind of then we'll have a well daddy said that that it was all right

because i'm like oh jesus and then i said no and then i'm like well me and daddy me and daddy haven't even caught up on this yet. Me and Daddy need a meeting. Yeah, meeting slash row. Yeah, exactly. And you say it through your teeth, don't you? I will talk to Daddy about that. Well, let's speak about it later. Mummy needs to talk to Daddy about it.

And I'm like, Mum, you've told her that, didn't you? He's like, oh, I didn't really know. OK, well, just if you didn't know, don't say it. Yeah, please don't. Shut shut it don't say a word and then it's obvious that mummy said no but daddy you said I could yesterday my oh dear but you know that's where the bad cop comes in doesn't it so we normally at this point in the pod ask what have you got coming up next but we know you've got a cookbook coming out don't you i do it's a bit exciting it's my dream to be delia smith oh my goodness me i know dream on it's so much fun you know so much fun and i think basically at the start of lockdown one of my friends at work said to me and we you know so much fun and I think basically at the start of lockdown one of my friends at work said

to me and we you know everyone was doing quizzes and it was going around all the things that you could do and people sorting out cupboards one of my friends said you need to start writing down your recipes for your kids I'm like oh my god yes this is like the one thing that everybody wished you know the family member that cooks in their house did you know like so you've got it for when you're older so it started off like that and then like everybody over lockdown we were all cooking more than we needed to and we all thought we were insta chefs anyway I mean I've always shared food and stuff on Instagram anyway but obviously I was at home more so I just had more time to to cook and everyone was like please do and you know and I literally was on the phone to my agent and I was like do you

know what maybe there's something in this because everybody keeps asking me I've started doing it anyway why don't we just sound it out and see if any publishers are interested and then as I'd said that I got approached by um Eby who are Penguin you know and we'd not even sort of put the feelers out there and they were like we'd love to do a book with you and and then yeah sort of came from there really and then I because like with anything I started writing these recipes and then you know then you'll have a couple weeks then where you didn't and then yeah so but what the what having a publishing deal meant is that I had to you had to finish it yeah which was brilliant and so yeah I'm kind of I feel so lucky that I've got the chance to do that and in my household I'm like look everyone's

eating the same thing ain't nobody got time for 5,000 meals and especially not me my whole thing is like you know a one meal for everybody and whether that means you season it differently for you know different kids or halfway through cooking and you take bits out for the baby and you blitz that up and then that's what the baby can wean with and you know it kind of just making sure the whole family are happy so yeah it's kind of so when can we get our hands on it october the 14th is when that's my dad's birthday oh there you go nice present yeah happy birthday dad happy birthday dad it's just what you wanted I love a cookbook that gives me ideas for like quick family dinners because that's what you need constant inspo for you do because you know you've

got to feed the family 365 days a year haven't you so it's the thing and just to change up your weekly rota because it gets really boring after a while it's so boring and I think we really realized that over lockdown I think like especially when nobody was eating out or you know just having this pop into someone else's house for dinner or yeah like you're just cooking at the same old shiz every yeah it was every week it was becoming relentless yeah um and I love cooking but I was like really trying to be like okay so why don't we try and get this on the next food shop and I'll try this and I'll try but yeah it was coming sort of trying to get ourselves out of the funk of that but yeah I kind of even put things like you know play date snacks when you've got kids over and

like yes fun interactive things to do with the kids when it comes to cooking that isn't messy. So I'm like, I don't want everything to be messy. I have all the best intention of doing all this stuff with the kids, but I'm like... It can't involve flour, basically. If it does involve flour, you're all right. Then you're all right. When you've got to get dinner on the table,

the last thing you want to do is then like clear up a bombshell afterwards. Precisely that. So, Rochelle, we're coming to the end of the podcast. We have three questions that we ask everybody. The first of those is, how do you want to be remembered by your kids? I suppose as the mum that was always there, because, you know, I do live a busy life, but my kids are very much at the forefront of that. But, you know, even though I I'm busy like you can call me and I will be there in a heartbeat and you know I'll always go above and beyond for my kids and I think more than anything you know

and you know there's lots I've done over my career and they can check that out and look at that if they're interested but I just want them to I just want them they probably won't be I hate to tell you no exactly that nothing we do is very interesting it's interesting no I just want them to know that they've got a mum in me that is always there and is always their friend as well as their parent I like that answer now the other thing we always ask but if I'm guessing we might know the answer to half of it is what's for tea and who's cooking? I'm guessing it's you, not Marv. I mean, you've got that bit right.

Today, I'm actually going to my friends for a barbecue. Lovely! So you're not cooking? Yes, that's the answer. You've got a day off. I've got a day off and, yeah, I'm going to my friends' house. They're our best friends and they're a godparent to each of my babies and we are going there tonight for um well just to to make the most of this sun whilst it doesn't rain yes and will you the trick will you take a dish will you take pudding how will you get involved um I will always take something, yeah, because I just can't help myself.

So I'll take, I just looked in the fridge and I've got stuff for a good salad. So I'll do that and bring it with me. Very good. Very good. And now our very last question, which nobody loves, but everybody gets it. I think some people do like it, you know, secretly. But anyway, carry on. That's because you made it up.

Yes. Go on. So it's weird you have to imagine you're tucking annie and i into bed we are blake and you have to sing us okay this is taking a really weird turn just just go just go right go on if blake is unsettled or one of the girls are unsettled and they can't get to sleep, what lullaby do you sing to them? Oh, do you know? Well, Blake's is actually different. It's not even a lullaby. It's a song and it's just so random. Most people aren't.

Yeah, you're not alone. Most people sing the weirdest stuff. Okay, so mine is, do you remember Big Brothers? Do you remember the group Big Brothers? No. No. And they used to have this so anyway it's so random they used to have a song called baby boy it goes my love for you will never end to that song can always be a part of me that one yeah you'll oh and we say we say blakey boy at the end you You'll always be my Blakey boy. Oh, lucky Blake.

If I tried to sing that, ears would bleed. No, poor Blake. So what do the girls get then? What's the girls, what's their song? So the girls, the girls song is, Marvin makes up about a million songs. But they're, do you know what? They're more, right before bed, their thing is a story.

Okay. It's all about story for the girls. And Elias will just probably be something from, she's doing her own, right? Elias off. She's pretending she's got a TikTok account that she doesn't have, FYI. And she's copying Little Mix dance routines.

Nice. So that's Elias. And she's doing it to us routines. Nice. So that's a layer. And she's doing it to us. We're not performing to her. Okay. Even when I try and explain to her, I'm like, you know, when Little Mix were first formed, they actually came to meet Mummy and the girls on the Saturdays

when they was on X Factor and they come to our tour rehearsals and asked us for advice and stuff. She's like, what would you advise Little Mix about? She's like baffled. What could Marie possibly know? What could she possibly tell them? Yeah.

Oh, that's brilliant. Yeah. And then Vali, what is Vali into? Oh, Vali's into Every Night and it's not her birthday, but she wants to sing

It's my birthday birthday i could do what i like she loves amory oh and every day she wants to sing that it's her birthday and it's definitely not but you know i love it she can dream she can dream a girl can dream oh thank you washell it has been such a pleasure it has been a pleasure pleasure. And I know that our audience are going to go nuts for this episode. So thank you for sparing the time. Oh, bless you. No, thank you so much. Thank you.

It's been such a nice chat. And all of us were understabbed by children. It was a beautiful thing. Blake stayed asleep. We love this. Blake stayed asleep. He's bordering on danger now. Yeah.

We'll let you go. We'll let you go we'll let you go we want you to bring your mum next time i want to hear all about her definitely medicness i mean i hope you've got all day it's fine we'll clear the diary that's fine oh bless you thank you ladies no worries and you bye