The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep45: Sarah-Jane Mee on why she's definitely stopping at one

Episode Date: August 10, 2021

Listen as Sky News host Sarah-Jane Mee gets teary over the love you feel for little ones... plus the relentlessness of motherhood, especially when you're a working mum just back from maternity leave. Don't miss her account of an induction - alone! - in the middle of lockdown plus why baby Rae and stepson Teddy make her feel so lucky, she won't be tempting fate with a third.

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears, brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary. And I'm Wendy Gollage. And together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments. With guests who are far more interesting than we are. Welcome to another episode of Sweat, Snot and Tears. Now, hands up, who's isolating? Hands up, who's poorly or got a poorly baby or child?

Yep, check, check, check, check. We are here to let you know you're not alone. We know it's weird right now. Everyone's unlocking, but also there are shed loads of cases, particularly among all of our children. But sweaty, snotty, teary lot, we will get through this together. Now, Wendy, I hear you have a health update of another sort. Tell us. I do. So I may have bored you all stupid talking about my mole a couple of weeks ago and I am pleased to report that I went to the consultant who said my mole is nothing and I don't need to do anything about it and it's just something called a ko which was a I couldn't get the name, but she said...

Squamous cell carcinoma, I think, was what they thought it was. Well, that's what they thought it was. But these KOs are things that present like a cancerous cell and then just vanish of their own accord. That's the kind we like. But, folks, interesting tip. The consultant said that rather than paying for very expensive mole mapping, you can just get your other half to take a photo of all of your moley bits and then draw little

circles around the ones that you're slightly worried about and check on them every three months. So there we go. You've just saved the entire nation millions and millions of pounds. Well done, Wendy. And given them an extremely exciting Friday night. Okay, now on to the show. And I think the first question we need to ask her is whether she has a mole that she's worried about. Welcome back from Matt Leafs, Sky News' very own Sarah J. Bee. How are you, my love? Hello. I'm very well, thank you. I'm very well. I did have a mole that I didn't like. And being on TV tv it was in the unfortunate position of being on my face no so I had that removed quick smart there was nothing wrong with it it was just a bit

unsightly I never even noticed where was it on your face oh this is in the early days in regional tv when no one was watching all right and I'd always turn slightly camera left so you wouldn't catch that side of my face and then someone said you know you can just get that taken off I was like well I never so off I popped and off it and that's the only cosmetic surgery I've had yeah and well there's that question move and then down yeah sorry just want to get that in there that's a good question as a woman who graces our tv screens would you be tempted bit of a filler here bit of botoxer 100% never percent. Never say never, yeah. I mean, I must admit, coming back after Matt leave,

you catch sight of yourself on camera. I'm never one for watching myself back. I always cringe. It's like listening to your own voice on a voicemail message. Yeah, we hate having to listen to this. Oh, no, I hate it. So I never try to catch sight of myself on camera, but I must admit, I've been back for two weeks now

and I suddenly turn around and catch a monitor and go oh you're looking tired that's because I am well you are an absolute cold face there is nothing harder I would say than a baby your age and having just returned to work because it's just all going on isn't it how has it been it's been a juggle i think that's the sort of stereotypical word isn't it it is a juggle and now i get it i feel like i'm a circus performer is she sleeping oh every time i say this okay we're gonna touch we're all touching something yeah i'm in front of a wooden desk i'm clinging on for dear life because every time i say this we have a dodgy night but whisper it quietly she sleeps through the night oh my god she goes down at six and i think we wear her out so much during the day she's literally reaching to get into her cock she's trying to climb through the bars and then she's out until well this is where it gets tricky she's

either out until six or the night after the uh england semi-final she was out till nine oh my she's a father's daughter good girl we've trained her well so the other day i had to get up for work and i had something to do before my show so i'll get up extra early because i know ray ray will get up at six so i've got five had a shower wash my hair she didn't wake up till eight so i was sitting around twiddling I've got I've got up super early and now you're having a light so she sleeps well we're lucky we're lucky it took my daughter three years yeah well two years nine months for one night that she slept through I hear all these stories and I was so prepared for a battle so prepared for a battle

that when she started sleeping through the night at around seven months, six, seven months, I thought something was wrong with her. I was like, we have to go and wake her up. She's been asleep for more than six hours. Now it's more than seven. There is something wrong with her. I have to tell you, my very good friend, she's got three children and her first daughter had reflux and her son had reflux. Oh, that's unlucky. So when her third son came along and slept, she said they genuinely, they took him to the doctor and said, is he like, is there something wrong with him?

What's the matter? Because he didn't do anything like wake up in the night. If it hadn't been for the pandemic, I'd have been making an appointment with a GP. Right, back to the beginning, Sarah. Oh yeah, let's rewind. Any sweat, snot or tears in your house this morning sweat snot or tears um yet there was a bit of sweat because Ray Ray slept in this morning which meant her dad slept in and he had to hot foot it to the train so that was a little bit sweaty because obviously it's quite hard in the mornings for parents going to work. You want to spend a bit of time with your kids, but you're conscious you've got to get showered, get dressed,

get breakfast, get to the train station, all of that. So there was a bit of that going on. There were tears because I was running about trying to get ready for this podcast and I couldn't find any earphones for the life of me because we'd just moved house, so everything was in boxes. So there were tears for Ray Ray as I kept appearing in the room and disappearing quite quickly she finds that a bit much um and has there been any blood this morning oh she's had not yet we don't normally have sorry it's because i was listening to your last podcast and you said you said there was blood in

the morning and absolutely haven't had any of that and sweat snot and tears snot there can't be blood yeah there's no snot this morning she's quite good we did have a period where she had a runny nose for about a month and it was coincidentally after her first um jamboree class because obviously she hasn't seen any other kids throughout the entire pandemic she went to one jamboree class and we had a runny nose for a month. My niece just started school and after day one had a fever and couldn't go back for another two weeks. Oh no. So yeah, it's happening to everyone. I think not only is COVID back on the resurgence, but every other bug known to man is crawling out of the woodwork, isn't it?

Yeah. My stepson's 10 years seven and he's obviously at school at the moment. Every other bug known to man is crawling out of the woodwork, isn't it? Yeah. My stepson's 10 years 7 and he's obviously at school at the moment. And again, touch wood. You're so frightened to say anything. I know. I've become so superstitious as a mother. But he's been okay.

He hasn't been off school. He hasn't had to isolate. None of the classes got pinged or anything yet. They've just got another couple of weeks to go until the summer holidays. I know. I'm feeling particularly bad for the year 6ses his last year it is at primary school like you just desperately want them to be able to make it to the end of their school year yeah and be with all their mates well there's a thread that's going mad on the netmums forums at the moment which is mums talking about whether they are planning on taking their kids out of school for the last week

so that they don't get pinged because so many parents have got holidays and I've got to say I'm supposed to be going away with my parents and I can see their point my parents had a holiday in 18 months yeah if we can't go because someone gets pinged the week before, I think I might dim it. Essentially, it's just shielding, isn't it? It's going, right, we want to go somewhere for two weeks. So we're just going to hunker down and play kaplunk. That's what we did at primary school. Look, guys, don't you make out that an isolation is just hanging out at home.

It's one of the worst things I've ever been through in my entire goddamn life. Yeah, we've done it. We've done that. We've done homeschooling. We've been through the lot. But it depends how much you want your holiday. It depends how much you want that holiday. We should be three, SJ.

Oh, wow. Because we all got it slightly just outside of each other's. Oh, no. Anyway, anyway. Now, I want to talk to you about your lockdown because you went the whole hog and had a bloody baby i did yeah um i feel like a poster girl for lockdown i was such a cliche i had a lockdown baby and moved house that's what everyone was doing wasn't it but did you bake banana bread

no and very proudly i announced that on social media. It's the one thing I haven't fallen victim to is, I did succumb to Joe Wicks, only because Ted was doing it at home, so I had to jump around a bit to Joe Wicks. So I ticked most of the cliche boxes, but banana bread, no. Wasn't adverse to eating other people's, it has to be said.

Like a lockdown snacking was real. Oh yeah, the lockdown stone. Oh my God, I've gone back to work, a dress size bigger. And I just thought, oh, it's the baby way. Oh my God, I've gone back to work, a dress size bigger. And I just thought, oh, it's the baby way. And Ben's so honest with me. He turned around and went, I don't think it's baby way. I was like, no, actually, I've got to admit, you're right.

It's too many hobnobs. It's a good job you're not married yet. That's divorce-worthy, right there. Oh dear. But how was it being pregnant and giving birth in a pandemic which month was she born in i'm trying to map where we were in terms of lockdowns and opening up and all of that yeah so she was i think i was 26 weeks along when the um prime minister announced that pregnant women had to shield and so you remember it was over 70s and the clinic yeah so my sort of lockdown started a lot earlier

I went home from work and uh the prime minister's press conference was on so we sat down to watch that and we were meant to be going on holiday on the Wednesday so first of all he cancelled that so we sat on the sofa went oh no that's the holiday gone and then he went and pregnant women should shield I went I can't I can't go out not only could I not go on holiday but I can't go out so my boss rang me and said oh obviously you've seen the news conference you shouldn't come into work tomorrow so my sort of lockdown started really early so I was 26 weeks and I had her in June so we're talking like the beginning of March until the end of June so did you start presenting from home then or what did you do yeah I was one of the first literally overnight yeah overnight so I think it was it was literally

two days later I broadcast from home because obviously it was new to everyone no no literally the sky the sky team turned up on my door virtually in hazmat suits because things were just starting to get real then everybody was like gloves mask but the team turned up hazmat suits and anti-backing all these tripods cameras ipads and they turned up at my doorstep dropped it off and then they said obviously we can't come in and set it up for you so you had to do it excuse me what excuse me what i've only ever looked at the lens of a camera i've never been behind one or set up a tripod I'm putting wires I had to learn how to be a camera woman a technician lighting director makeup artist producer as well as you know presenting presenting was sort of low down on the list of priorities I just had to make it on air so yeah I was one of the first broadcasters to broadcast in the UK from

home by sheer nature of the fact that I was pregnant of the first broadcasters to broadcast in the UK from home by sheer nature of the fact that I was pregnant so I could leave the house earlier than anyone else um yes we just started that week um and I went through all I mean you know tv tech in that instance is no different to anyone else's tech working from home the wi-fi issues you know if teddy's on his ipad downstairs is interrupting my live broadcast with the government minister you know if teddy's on his ipad downstairs it's interrupting my live broadcast with the government minister you know no everyone get off the wi-fi before i went live you know silly things like i didn't charge one of the ipads overnight so i couldn't figure out why that wasn't working why i couldn't get a screen to work um you know plugs were coming undone because i hadn't done

set it up properly so I drop off air so it was a real learning curve and the lighting the director would buzz away and go well your lighting is a bit weird your face looks like a side of ham it's like oh god I've got to try and move the light it was you know I've got such a newfound respect for anyone that works behind the camera and tv I mean I have done anyway I've you know worked my way up through various different jobs in TV to get in front of camera. But now I'm just like, oh my word. It's such a tricky job.

Like if you get one tiny thing wrong, the whole TV programme could fall off air. I can hear our producer silently worshipping you. She's just trying to get in Russ's good book. Yeah, make me sound good in the edit, Russ. But how about actually going in, did you give birth in hospital? Did you give birth at home? How was your birth? Because you had wanted a home birth, hadn't you? And then you switched.

I went all sort of earth mother in terms of it was a pandemic and I didn't want to go into hospital. It was like the height of the pandemic and I really didn't want to go into hospital and I was having a really good pregnancy and just discussing my midwife having a home birth and she said oh well you know you're an older mother I hate it when conversations start like that you're an older mother it doesn't matter I'm having a healthy pregnancy anyway regardless of that I planned on having a home birth but as my pregnancy continued I developed preeclampsia and obviously a lot of people associate preeclampsia with a high blood pressure dizziness all of that kind of stuff I didn't have any of those symptoms

I just had like sorry to be graphic but you know if we're talking snot tears everything else I had protein in my urine and it's just a slight amount but literally in the last two three weeks it crept up quite dramatically um so i had to go in to be induced and then i was in labor on my own for nearly five days he wasn't with you he couldn't come in no they're not allowed in until you're in established labor are they yeah so he so he dropped me off at st thomas's hospital in london which was like a ghost town a ghost town there was hardly anyone in there and I was walking through this eerie hospital oh yeah really hard so I left him at the doorway and off I off I went in my mask with my big belly in my overnight bag uh you know I didn't pack enough and yeah he couldn't come in for those five days my body just wasn't ready

five days yeah Ray Ray just was not ready to come out so wait wait wait what were they doing did you have the drip the whole I had the drip I had sweets I had pessaries I had everything imaginable thrown I thought you said sweets then oh believe me there were plenty of sweets yeah but they're better than sweets Jesus my sweet was fine I'm a champion of the sweet. But anyway, carry on. Hey, look, I was really brave and, you know, I got on with it. It was fine.

But it's not the most pleasant thing in the world. So, yeah, so I had every stage of induction and Ray Ray was just comfy. It was a week before my due date, so I wasn't being induced that early. So in the first three days, I'd meet Ben downstairs. Bless him. He'd arrive with, like, takeaway pizzas and we'd sit in the garden as days I'd meet Ben downstairs bless him he'd arrive we'd like take away pizzas and we'd sit in the garden as the Thomas's eating pizzas until I'd waddle back in spend another night in hospital and then in the end I had a c-section and so I went from home

birth to c-section and a lot of my friends it was really weird again it's the pandemic everybody got pregnant there's nothing else to do was there um apart from me um so a lot of my friends it was really weird again it's the pandemic everybody got pregnant there's nothing else to do was there um apart from me um so a lot of my friends were having babies at the same time and they'd opted for c-sections and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that i just decided i wanted to give birth naturally this is going to be my only baby i just wanted to feel what it was like um but they had elected c-sections and they've all got these wonderful photographs of them with perfect hair, haven't broken a sweat, cradling their baby, their partner. Oh my God. I've been awake for five days.

I am like Casper the ghost. Ben was having to pat my face on the operating table to keep me awake. I was going to miss my daughter's birth. I was so tired. My eyes are red, haven't had a shower in four days, like pony tuffs. We just laugh when we look at this first magical moment picture ray ray's looking all cute and snuggly ben's looking elated and i'm looking like i'm about to pass out um you know actually talking about it now it feels like so long ago it was a year ago but it's true what they say that you know once the baby comes along you forget about all of that.

Yeah. Even now, I was in there for five days. I think, oh, my word. You know, there's so many phases you go through and every week or month, they all just concertina down into sort of nothing. And all you focus on is what's right now. Yeah. Well, I was looking at I mean, every parent does this. My favourite thing to do when I should be sleeping at night because I need my sleep every parent does is look at photos of the baby I saw about two hours ago so I look at faces on my phone a lot and just looking at her when she was two three months old I can barely remember that time and it actually wasn't that long ago but so much happens in that first year and they look so different and we laugh and we go oh my god we kept saying how gorgeous she was but actually look at her she had like a montgomery

burns from the simpsons hairline she was cross-eyed she was like flaky skin i mean god she's beautiful of course she's beautiful but we just laugh because we were like she is the most beautiful baby in the world and that nature is clever yeah nature's very clever you just casually dropped into that that she's the only baby you're gonna have just threw that in there well I'm 43 tomorrow which actually isn't that old thank you which isn't that old but I just feel that I waited so long to become a mum. And she is perfect. And I feel really happy that I had such a good pregnancy. I mean, the birth wasn't how I planned, but it was by no means a disaster or, you know, that bad. I just feel

really lucky. And I have Teddy, who is my stepson, who's seven, and just the most amazing boy. And we've got one of each. And I feel like I want to enjoy them. I don't know. It's weird. I just feel like we've got one of each and we've been really lucky. I don't want to push my luck. In terms of health, adding to the family, like we've got such a great dynamic

that I just I don't know I feel it would be for selfish reasons if I had another baby we don't we don't need another baby in our family I mean this will come back to bite me next year when I go whoops look what's happened but we're just not we're just not planning on having another one we've got a wonderful boy a wonderful girl and I do look at some of my friends who've got three and I'm like how do you cope some of them have got like three under six or whatever and I just think I just don't think I'm wired to cope I admire your gratitude I think there's not enough of that in the world actually I think sometimes and I think if we all take anything out of this crazy last year it's do you know what anything can happen in an instant let's all just count our blessings and breathe yeah I waited until I was 40 to meet you know the love

of my life and till I was 40 I met him in real life at a party you know how it used to happen in the 90s yeah I went retro and met a real life man in a real life bar surrounded by other real life people wow um yeah who spoke to who first how did it um we were introduced by a mutual friend who's like I want you to come over here and I was like why and then she went this is Ben and Ben was like hello and like, and chatted to me. And I was like, oh, OK. So he talked to me first. And the first thing he said, and I knew it was a winner from the offer, was, would you like a drink? I was like, oh, gentlemen, would you like a drink?

Would you like to sit down? I was like, old school manners. He used to vote that. Because these heels are killing me. And I want to get drunk. Now, I want to take you back to your baby for a minute what was the best new baby gift you've got for the baby or for me oh either let's go yeah the best baby gift I got was from my mum and my sister and it was the Christmas before she arrived obviously and the

Christmas before the pandemic all kicked off and they bought me the BB hug me pillow I think that's what it's called it's like this long sausage pillow and it is the most comfortable thing like I hugged that like I would have done Ben like you know a year before every night it was the most comfortable thing in the world and when ray ray arrived and you know obviously had a c-section so that was really uncomfortable that pillow made me sleep and i love that pillow so much um for the baby my friend henry got us a um a sheepskin and ray has slept on that and she had it in her pram as well everywhere we went she's slept on that since day one sweet and she's sleeping on well everywhere we went she's slept on that since day one sweet and she's sleeping on it now like if she's not ready to get out of bed she'll be

clinging onto that sheepskin and hiding under it and stroking it and yeah so she loves that and it we take it wherever we go and not that we've been to many places but just means she could sleep anywhere because she knows it is comfy she sleeps on it she sleeps under it yeah I think that's the best thing we've had that's very cute and I'd like to know from that same phase or actually any phase of the mum bit what has surprised you most about becoming a mum like you say you waited a bit to become a mum how does it differ from how you thought it would be? Now, this isn't necessarily bad. Okay. But I think it's the sheer relentlessness of it. People warned me, but you don't quite get it until you're in it.

So true. It's 24-7. And even when you're not with them, you're thinking about them. Yeah. You know, I just never realised how all-encompassing it would be. It's your every waking moment. Like at the moment, she's just starting to learn to walk. So she uses me as mum's taxi already.

She'll sit on my lap and have her milk in the morning. And then I feel her hands drop away from the bottle and grab a finger on each hand and then she's wiggling out my lap and off we go it's hilarious like clockwork every morning book the osteopath appointments now well I'm very lucky she is a very long tall baby so quite quickly I'm not having to stoop anymore which is quite nice I've got a giant baby it's good for my back um but yeah it's just the relentlessness of it you know i joke with people you know about child care i'm like you need child care because someone has to step in and clean that high chair four times a day all i do is clean the high chair

so who do you lean on who do you go to for support when you've had a shit day and it's all got too much um my mum and ben um grandma does your mum live near you she lives about 40 minutes away so that's all right yeah it was really tough in the pandemic because obviously there's me and my sister and my mum hasn't had any grandkids ray ray's her first grandchild so it was really hard in the later stages of my pregnancy because we couldn't see each other and that was devastating for mum and when ray ray came along you know there were still restrictions in place she didn't really get to see her and you know there are some mums i know who only now a year on have got to see the new grandparents because they lived in scotland or whatever so we've had it easy in that respect but

it was quite tough um and now mum comes one day a week. We have grandma day on a Thursday when I'm at work. So grandma comes on a Thursday and looks after her and they play. So yeah, when I'm finding it really tough, I talk to my mum. It's so weird when you become, again, people tell you this and all these cliches are cliches because they're true.

People say you don't appreciate your mum until you become one. And that's 100% true. Like, I just think, oh my God, you did all this for me. I know. Have I ever said thank you? have I ever said thank you have I ever said thank you from cleaning the high chair a hundred times a day to walking me around the kitchen for hours like the little things to the big things that are going to come for for Ray and me the last person we interviewed was Lisa Faulkner who's who's she lost her mum when she's a teenager and she was saying as well that there's no point where you miss your mum as much as when you just have a baby like it's it's such a profound thing that

realization of what a mum is when you become one yourself isn't it because you just put yourself in your mum's shoes and think my word the sacrifices you made the sort of labour from you know the labour you did the worrying the sort of just it is life-changing and your life becomes about that little person and yeah I just a whole new perspective and you know I thank my mum so much officially on this podcast it's out there mum thank you you're amazing she's probably listening upstairs now at the top of the stairs but you're also a step mum so what's your approach to step mumming when we spoke to Lisa Faulkner the other Lisa Lisa Faulkner the other day she really interestingly said that she and John never parent each other's child so how does it work in your household yes it's different for you

because teddy's younger isn't he is he seven yeah yeah he's seven so by degree you have to do it you have to do some parenting by default you've got to keep him alive do you know yeah exactly like oh gosh he's going near that open window but but I can't tell him off. He's not biologically mine. I think from day one, I've never tried to be Teddy's mum. Teddy has an amazing mum and he has such a great relationship with her. And the way I see it, myself, Ben and Teddy's mum are on team Ted. I'm just there to sort of add to that. I'm not there to sort of take over from anyone or try and

put my stamp on the relationship so I've always been Ted's friend he calls me SJ he doesn't call me mum yeah and I you know I discipline him I share things with him I teach him things I treat him as though he was my own but it is quite interesting in terms of when it comes to the big decisions obviously by default they go to Ben and he consults me and we talk about it but Ted has two very present parents who who make that decision and I'm a factor in in some of it um but yeah that's quite interesting actually I do I do parent Ted but I am quite conscious of you know he has got two parents he's not lacking in that department at all so I'm only there to

add to his life not if it ultimately it doesn't come down to me it's fascinating yeah I've never thought that I thought about that before but you know lucky Ted he's got three parents who put him first and love him until he turns Until he turns into a shitty teenager. And then he's not yours anymore. Yeah, we have said that. We were like, oh gosh, because at the moment he skips happily between his two homes. But we were saying when he gets to the teenage stage,

he's going to be making up his own mind about what he wants to do. And then you sort of lose a degree of control. So that's going to be really interesting. And you can sort of notice him growing up now because I think seven, eight's a really interesting age so that's going to be really interesting and you can sort of notice him growing up now because I think seven eight's a really interesting age it's really interesting my daughter's seven and I can see her almost choosing on an hourly basis shall I be a little kid or shall I be a big kid like she just doesn't quite know where to land yeah it's he's on the

verge of growing up he's literally on the brink. And you can see it sometimes with the way he pushes boundaries. But ultimately, he's still a kid and he is respectful enough of our authority at the moment. But he does push it a bit. But yeah, just a year ago, like we look at photos of him and he looks like a little boy and acted like a little boy. Suddenly a year on as he's you know gonna turn eight he looks totally different and you can just notice a change in his um in his personality it's it's frightening frightening how quickly they change it's so

crazy how does he get on with ray like was there were there any jealousy issues or was it all quite smooth all the way through or did you work hard at that? We worked hard at that. So when we told Ben we were expecting, obviously... Please tell me you mean Teddy, not Ben. Yeah. Oh, sorry, what did I say? When me and Teddy told Ben. Yeah, we've got to tell your dad I'm pregnant.

You do it. No, when Ben and I told Teddy, we did it at Christmas. And he unwrapped a present with a T-shirt that said, Big Brother. And he was just learning to read at the time. So I think he said, Big Bother. And we were like, well, technically that might be true as well. But he was excited. And you get those apps, don't you, where they show, they show what size the baby is. So baby

this month is the size of a pineapple. He loved that. He really got on board and he really got excited. And on Ray's birthday, he wrote her a card on her first birthday that said, when you're in your mummy's tummy, I was so excited to meet you. And now you're here. I love you so much. That's amazing. If Teddy walks into a a room Ray's face lights up nobody gets that reaction I certainly don't like I said I'm mum's taxi she literally crawls over me to get to stuff or holds my fingers to get to things um she loves her dad laughs and wrestles with her dad they've got such a great bond but Teddy walks into a room everything stops she laughs she smiles she cuddles and kisses him this bond is just it's more than we could have ever hoped for and it's so amazing to think that

they'll have each other forever yeah and that's what i say to ted i'm like you two are together forever you're gonna be best friends and we talk about because obviously there's an age difference and we talk about when teddy's gonna be a teenager and we talk about when Teddy's going to be a teenager and Ray Ray's going to be ready to learn to ride a bike and he's going to be able to help her and he talks about all the things he's doing now um because he loves his maths and he's really good at maths and he's like when Ray Ray's in my school year I can teach her about maths and it's all just so earnest and so innocent and so cute I'll remind him of it when he's a teenager and you know he wants to go out with his mates not play with his little sister but it's all just so earnest and so innocent and so cute I'll remind him of it when he's a teenager and you know he wants to go out with his mates not play with his little sister but it's just great

he's just he's excited and he loves her and yeah really dotes her we didn't work too hard at it we worked hard to make sure he was included and he felt as much a part of it as possible because it's it's difficult when you're a split family um but we made sure he was front and centre of everything we did to do with the baby. And I think because of that, because that groundwork we put in before she arrived, I think it's just come naturally since. It is all about the preparation, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Never spring anything on a kid because they, it scrambles their mind. They like, well, Ted in particular likes routine and he likes

coming next yeah yeah yeah yeah it's the it's the sort of they're in a car how long is it going to take yeah when are we going to get there i mean they've got no idea whether it's 20 minutes or an hour it all feels long to them but they just like to know the next step so because we yeah because we didn't surprise him with anything and we talked to him all the time. He just accepted it. And, yeah, it's lovely. And now you're back at work. So one of the – and you're back at a really odd time, it feels like.

Like the world's changing again for, like, the third time. Yeah. How do you stay sane at a time when news is in such flux and how can you help us all stay sane when we we're all finding it hard to know I think when to switch off and when to engage with what's going on it's a really tough one right now well what put it into perspective for me when I went back to work was when I left the death toll from Covid was in the hundreds and I've come back and it's now hundreds of thousands you know the case numbers are it's hard to get your head around and I feel for my colleagues who had to go through the year broadcasting daily when that was the only news topic

as a mum I've become so much more emotional and I just think I'd have really struggled with that, talking about it every day. During my maternity leave, like everyone else, I had a choice whether to watch the news or not. My colleagues didn't. And, you know, I've got a lot of respect for them in having to do that because that must have been harrowing every day to interview people who have lost loved ones, to talk about people dying, to talk about people, you know, going into hospital and not coming. It's the worst part of your job. But during my maternity leave, I would ration my knees intake. I just think for my own mental health, because, you know, I was on the other side of it for a change. And that's what I said to everyone, because a lot of people said that to me. You know, how do you switch off? Literally just switch off.

And did that feel good and how how much did you ration it like what do you think's a healthy dose for us all I'd say watch half hour of a news program so Sky News like every every hour is its own segment so I'd watch the first half hour of Sky News and it would give me the headlines and what's going on and then I would probably tune in in the evening if Boris Johnson was giving a press conference I had to stop watching them I just couldn't watch the press conferences because it was too much it became this focus to your day and it was just like no can't watch these anymore yeah and that's and that's fine I mean I've gone back now and it feels like Covid is still the biggest story in town and it will be for some time to come.

But I feel like there are other things to talk about now. A small matter of some football. Yes. I mean, as excited as I am. By the time this airs, we'll be over. Touch wood again, touch wood. I'm clinging on to the desk again. wood touch wood touch wood exactly I mean that has I mean we needed that didn't we get thank you Gareth Southgate be more Gareth Southgate everyone

um so you know yeah there are other stories around um but yeah it's weird to come back after a year and everything's changed but nothing's changed my colleague Sarah Houston who was presenting my show while I was off on maternity leave she's been off on maternity leave at Sky three times she's got three kids and she said do not worry because after five minutes you feel like you've been back forever I was like no I feel really nervous I've still got baby brain I can't string a sentence together I've got to talk about serious subjects on the TV. People are turning to me for sense and I'm not making any sense. And she was right. Within five minutes of being on air, it felt like I'd just been gone for the weekend and come back on a Monday morning. That's really good.

Because again, I always say, how do women cope when they've got three kids? Women just cope. We just get on with it. But you do have your moments of self-doubt I'd not been in a studio for 18 months I'd not done any work for 12 so yeah the old skills and the old you know knowledge was in the back of the brain somewhere and luckily you know all of that came out my mouth in a coherent manner so if it all went poof tomorrow and there was no more sky news what would you do instead oh that's a good question when i was younger when i was a little kid like probably like four or five i had this weird obsession with being a butcher um i actually do you know what i'd probably like to do something with children's charities. I know that you're going to say that sounds really worthy, but I just think I think everyone becomes more emotional being a parent.

And, you know, I look at the great work that's being done by things like the Hygiene Bank and stuff like that. And I'd probably like to go and work for a charity that, you know, help children and families because so many of them are suffering right now. You know, I sit here from a privileged position of having two lovely kids and everything being okay and being able to go to work during the week and be able to switch off at the weekends and all our family's okay, but so many families don't. So I'd probably like to go and work for a charity and use all my media skills to get them on the telly

and to get them noticed and and all of that so yeah that's probably why i do good answer now at this point we normally ask what's next of our guest you've got your own show on sky news what could possibly be next like what could you want to do next when it comes to broadcasting oh wow um oh gosh what i possibly want to do next oh come on sj or dancing on ice i always think that's the scariest one yeah that's the dangerous one i'm not thinking about that it's a terrible idea no one comes out of it fully whole again what's that what's that move is it called the headbanger where they the male skater swings you around by your ankles and you go up and down and

your head just brushes the floor who did we interview when and she'd just come off it and she had some oh denise denise van outen she dislocated her shoulder oh there was denise and she's done skating denise van outen is hard that woman she's a proper the show must go on isn't she 100% what a pro yeah I wouldn't I literally I did a tv program called riding the dales where do you remember when the tour de france came to Yorkshire tour de Yorkshire and I did a tv program for sky sports where I took on the first stage of the tour de france what was I thinking I actually had to cycle oh god it was. So hard. And we'd done all this training and about 5k into this like bajillion K bike ride. I clipped somebody else's wheel

and went over the handlebars and landed on my face. I could literally see the producer going, oh my God, we've only just started filming and SJ's had a crash. Were you all right? Oh yeah, I was fine. My ego was more bruised than anything. And I had a scraped face. But like I said, I still had like a couple of hundred K to go. And the producer went, can you carry on?

I could see his face and the rest of the team's face going, like the show has to go on kind of thing. I was like, I can still do it. And I got on my bike and carried on. That's pretty impressive. I mean, yeah. So would I do Strictly? I mean, so would I do strictly I mean again lockdown snacks I wouldn't feel comfortable in a glittery leotard anytime anytime this style of Christmas

but it would be a good way to shift it wouldn't it oh yeah that's true I'll be like could you just cover me in loads of feathers and sequins so I look like a disabled so no one will notice until like what is it about week four you start to notice people's shape change. Yeah. What next? What's next? Gosh, I really don't know. I've only been doing my own show for a year. So let's hope that continues for a good few years yet. OK. Now, one of the questions we always ask is how do you want to be remembered by your kids oh um as someone who loved them truly madly deeply I look at Ray and she's at the age now where she doesn't get it oh god I'm gonna tear up she doesn't oh gosh um she doesn't get it um and like I said she'll use me to move around the house or she'll climb over me to get you're almost like an extension of their body aren't you just an extension of them yeah and um oh i just

hope that i'm around long enough for her to be able to get that and for her to know that so it's when you two you got. I'm a hardened news journalist. I told you I got a bit soft. I told you I got a bit soft. Oh, it's when they're old enough to say to you, my five-year-old has just started saying, Mummy, I love you the best. And it's when they're old enough to come and kind of hold on to you

and their cuddles almost hurt because they grab you so tight. Teddy's at that age now where he will come up out of the blue. You might be at the kitchen sink washing up and he will hug you so tight teddy's at that age now where he will come up out of the blue you might be at the kitchen sink washing up and he will hug you so tight and go sj i just love you so much and then he'll go off and you'll just think oh wow and you're stood there weeping into the family yeah and you just think oh my god and you know again he's at the age where you put him to bed he'll have a chat and we always do the me and his dad with him always do the top three things about your day you have to come up with the best three things about we do that as well and always teddy knows how to get he knows how to get he's like his

number one is always unless we've been to lego land or something and is always coming in in the morning to have cuddles with you daddy and ray ray that boy that boy so yeah i want ray ray to get to that stage just to get it just to get it because at the moment i'm like you don't get it but i love you so much oh well hopefully this next question won't make you cry yeah we're gonna swing we're gonna swing the pendulum in completely the other direction and ask you what's for tea yes jane who's cooking oh what's for tea um do you know what ben's cooking? Oh, what's for tea? Do you know what? Ben actually texted me when he left the house this morning.

We are very fortunate to have a local train station that has a bistro, don't you know? Woo! I know, it's so fancy. I think we moved here just for the train station. And they've got a wood-fired pizza oven. And Ben texted me as he got on the train this morning and went, if you ring them, I could pick them up when i get off the train and we could have pizzas for tea so technically the local calf's cooking i love it friday night treats everybody needs a friday night treat right on to the final question and it's w Wendy's turn to ask it. Sorry, Wenda. I have a small bone to pick about this.

It's always my turn to ask this question. It's because I write the questions, so I get to decide. Now, this might not make you cry, but it might make us cry. So you have to imagine that you're tucking Annie and I into bed, and we are veiling, and you have to sing us your lullaby. Oh, my God. Because we know that every family has a song that is the song that works for their kid. And you're only up against the likes of Paloma Faye.

And the Spice Girls. Okay. Well, I mean, there are two choices. The one I sing her in the morning. You want the one that I sing her to bed to? Whichever you're more comfortable singing. I'm interested in a morning song, actually. Well, in the morning, obviously, the first thing you do is the nappy change, right?

Yeah. And the only thing she will watch on TV is the Teletubbies. So in the morning, I wake her up with, Little Ray Ray, stinky bum bum, let's change your nap nap, eh oh! And it makes her laugh. So literally, in her birthday card we wrote ray ray and all the different names we call her and one of them is stinky bum bum to the telly tubby scene tune and she's gonna love listening to this when she's older yeah i think we need to

play this at her 18th birthday party um but at night i mean i'm not the best singer, but I sing You Are My Ray Ray to You Are My Sunshine. You are my Ray Ray, my only Ray Ray. You make me happy when skies are grey. You'll never know, Ray, how much I love you. Please don't take my Ray, Ray away. Yay! Can't believe I sang on a podcast. What I want to know, Annie, is when we're going to start getting commission from the writer of that song.

Because you're all about it. Yeah, it's so popular. Really? Yeah, it's really soon. Do you know why? Because it's in a key everyone can sing. Except me. There was a song that I really wanted to sing to Ray,

but it's such a weird key and also makes me really emotional. What is it? It's from the original Dumbo animation film from Disney. And it's, Baby mine, don't you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. It's such a beautiful song, but it makes me cry every time I listen to it.

I have some songs like that. Edelweiss does that to me. And when we had, who was it? It was Giovanna Fletcher. Giovanna Fletcher sang it. She sang it and I utterly lost. I mean, what lucky kids they are growing up in such a musical family.

If you've got musical parents, how amazing. If you're growing up in this household, it's You Are My Sunshine and the Teletubbies theme tune, I'm afraid. Hey, look, you can sing. Or Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Yeah, you can sing. Wendy's kids and my kids are at a serious disadvantage.

Oh, Estee, thank you so much for being so full of chit chat and yeah you've been an absolute breath of fresh air thank you oh well thank you both girls and like i said feel free to edit out the singing i won't take offense not a chance i think the kids would rather i edit the singing out of their lives completely but it's a it's a mother's prerogative and enjoy your pizza tonight thank you very much extra cheese please okay see you soon take care thanks girls thank you that was really good fun bye