The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep52: Jessie Ware on how a schedule is working for baby no. 3

Episode Date: September 27, 2021

Listen as Wendy and Annie catch up with singer, songwriter turned podcast superstar Jessie Ware while her newborn naps. As she gears up to head out on tour – cue childcare juggle nightmares – she tells us all about texting Paloma Faith for working mum tips, putting on her gym kit to watch Netflix and her new pregnancy podcast, Is it Normal? Find out all about it at www.isitnormalpodcast.com and @isitnormalpodcast on Insta. If you're offended by bad language, be wary it's a bit sweary.

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears, brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary. And I'm Wendy Gollage. And together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments. With guests who are far more interesting than we are. It's another episode of Sweat, Snot and Tears. I hope this finds you well. I hope everyone's got rid of their colds, everyone's sleeping through the night, no one vomited all the regular parenting stuff now when

question of the day i'm interested who organizes the play dates and the kids social lives in your house because i have spent maybe an hour and a half this morning plugging in play dates responding to people's mum's messages and it's just occurred to me that it's always me and i'm getting a bit angry about it it's always me a hundred percent but a bit angry about it. It's always me. 100%. But why, though? Why is it always a mum's job? I don't really get it. Because Tim couldn't give a shit whether they have a play date or not. Exactly. So it only just occurred to me today

that if I got hit by a bus tonight, I don't think the children would ever get to meet, socialise or play with anyone ever again. I think you're overthinking it, if I'm honest. Really? But it is... No, but listen, though, I'll make you a promise. If you get hit by a bus, I'll make sure Simon does play dates. How's that? All right, that's quite a good deal. Right, let's find out who is director of social affairs in our guest's household. My money is on singer, songwriter and podcaster, Jessie Ware. Welcome, Jessie. Am I right? Are you the social organiser?

Yes, and I'm really reassured that my husband thinks I'm a psychopath the amount that I want to socialise my children. He seems to think that going to a park with a stick is enough for them. Yes, and it's not, is it? I'm with you. Well, I don't know. I mean, look, I guess it's yin and yang, isn't it? But, yeah, oh, my God, he doesn't know any of the children's names.

He doesn't, but he knows our children's names. I was about to say, that's always a really good start. But, yeah, none of the children's names. Doesn't talk to any of the parents, but, like, they're all really keen to chat to him. I'm like the PTA. No, I'm not on PTA yet. I probably should be but um but yeah no totally I know exactly where they're playing who the parents are and he couldn't care less but it

kind of worked but you've got three to organize now that's got to be some sort of social jiggery pokery I know I was thinking well I was thinking we're going to be those parents are those that family that people just don't really want to invite over because they think they're going to get the whole camaraderie do you know what I mean it's like we're going to be those parents, that family that people just don't really want to invite over because they think they're going to get the whole camaraderie. Do you know what I mean? It's like we're going to be those people that people can't seat at restaurants because we're like the riffraff that are noisy and too big a party. No, we're a forum. We're definitely still riffraff. Don't worry about that.

Okay, fine. I think I'll always be riffraff. Actually, it's interesting. So a friend of mine has just moved with her three kids and husband to the congo as you do and their play dates and organizing your kids social lives is not a thing so when she like tries to say oh well what should we do with that what are you doing with your kids this week and would you like to come they all look at her apparently and are like are you mad like kids just run their own lives like they don't need us to do it for them so it's clearly like a cultural thing it's interesting isn't it yeah I mean I do think that it's I think it's my way of

being able to be a control freak um by being able to know about my schedule of my children's social life because I probably need that social I mean I love I love me a Friday afternoon with uh with other mums and yeah you do a play date and I mean it does feel like a cliche like in motherland where they're like we're gonna have spag bol and rose um but it's so bloody accurate though isn't it and you kind of don't have to do the imaginary play because you're just shoving them all together in a room and then you can drink alcohol. It's brilliant. Now, here's a question for you, because if that's I sometimes find that I do play dates with people who are my friends because I'm guilty.

Irrespective of whether my kids really are very good friends with their kids, which by dint of overexposure they are now. But do you do the same? Oh my God, of course. They have to suck it up and go and play. And then you kind of balance it out with maybe a parent that you don't necessarily know or get on with, but you go and do that. Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, to be honest, I think COVID's been quite good. Like, I mean, it's been terrible in many respects, of course, but with socialising children, it's been really hard, but it has made you be able to have an excuse of not having to hang out with every Tom, Dick and Harry. I like you, Jessie. You're like me. But now that you're emerging again, it feels quite stressful and strange, doesn't it?

Well, also because there's a backlog. So you've got all these people saying, well, I haven't seen you in 18 months we must meet up and you're like oh i can't fit everybody in anyway back to the beginning jesse any sweat any snot or any tears in the warehouse hold this morning definitely snot but that's just like that just get passed around so at the moment the number two is is snotty but in great spirits we had no electricity today um because we're getting a a kitchen done and i don't know something had happened the fuse had blown so couldn't sort out my baby's formula bottles so really had to rely hard on the boobs this morning

and didn't have any way to make any brekkie because couldn't open the fridge in case we couldn't get the power back on. Anyway, cut a long story short, we went to the CAF today. It was the biggest highlight for our kids because all the pictures are on the wall and they got to choose their meal from a picture on the wall and it was amazing and they all ate everything but yeah definitely snotty we've had a sick bug um it's my daughter's first day back from um having like a week of poo and uh so she's at school yeah

the big ones she's gone back yeah but yeah so she's at school but we've had snot sick and what's the other one, sweat? Yeah, I mean, that's probably me. Just lying to the sweaty one. Constantly. So how old, you've got a teeny tiny bubba, and then a school, a five-year-old, is that right? And then one in the middle. Yeah, so I've got a five-year-old who's just started big school,

and a two-year-old who has just been at the play club on our road, which is amazing, at the play club on our road which is amazing for the morning and then the uh 10 week old is having a sleep at the moment jesse how can you be on a podcast with us with a 10 week old i was still lying in bodily fluids at 10 weeks i wasn't doing anything i mean you can't see me right now but um yeah no um i stink and I've got no I love it I've got my I've got my gym gear on that I put on every day just to uh encourage me to do something but then I'm probably gonna have a brownie and try and find something on Netflix in a minute no the reason I can chat to you is because and I'm sure this is gonna be very divisive and people are maybe gonna go off

me right now and turn off. But I've been really like, I've had a schedule with this third one because I was like, mate, we've got to get in. So, yeah, he's already, he's having a little day's sleep and he loves it. That's good. I'm with you on the schedule, especially for the later kids, because you can't just go with the flow like this. Like, you've got to get your daughter to school, right? The other one, you've got to keep alive entertained vaguely happy fed yeah like you it's just chaos doesn't work but I mean you know I'm really judged especially by like my mum's

generation yes and my mum particularly my mum she's just like you're you're mad and I'm like well I haven't made him cry it out it's not any of the kind of gene affordable thing but each to their own if you know but um I he's just he's just he's doing it and it's amazing and it's been probably the most anti-social maternity leave ever because I'm beholden to the sketch but it was really I think I kind of had to do it for the other two. And also... And maybe for your own sanity? For my own sanity. But yeah, like, you know, he goes to bed at seven o'clock and kind of, obviously I feed him in the night,

but also I'm going on tour in December. I'm in rehearsals in November. And I think for me and him, I wanted him, I wanted to be able to know... That he's settled before that starts. That he's settled, exactly, and that he can... If he's in the rehearsal room with me, I'm like, right, OK, well, it's time for your milk, mate.

And it's like, you know, I think also it's easier because he's mix-fed, so I think I kind of... I know what he's drinking with his formula bottles. It's kind of helpful. So, yeah, I kind of know if he's got a full tummy or if he's you know just yeah I don't know I don't know what I'm doing but it seems to be working I'm being able to chat to you right now you sound like you absolutely do but I do feel like a sergeant major I know but I do it's funny because I didn't do it with the other two and I kind of feel slightly guilty and

also slightly resentful that I can't go to like baby cinema now um but equally yeah I'm working and I don't know he seems to love the sleep yeah I did the same thing though and I remember thinking oh it's like I can't go and do this but at the same time the payoff was I know by kind of seven months my she was having a two-hour nap in the middle of the day which is joyful absolutely joyful because you can actually do something for yourself poo you can like yeah do anything yeah and you don't have to deal with an overtired baby come late afternoon when you nearly want to have a breakdown yeah well thank thank you for your support because i do feel slightly by saying he's on a schedule don't because everyone thinks i'm like this militant bitch but yeah i think it's fine to go with the breeze you know go with the wind on a first but after that it just gets really really hard now i want to go back to the calf this

morning and please can you tell us what you had well um because my daughter's still a little, you know, we're just trying to play it kind of easy with her. She had a plain omelette. I had poached eggs on toast. Lovely. Could have done with a bit of marmite. My husband went for the full veggie. And my son went for beans, egg and chips. It was wicked.

It felt like such a kind of treat. You should do it once a week. Do it once a week now. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, we will actually. It was so nice. And I think my husband, he's been wanting to go there for so long and there's not really been a reason to because I don't know. There's always a reason to go to a cafe,

but you'll always go to the wanky coffee shop instead. And so we went there and it was just wicked and the kids ate everything which never happens and i'm doing again it was cheap as chips i love a caf yeah so my kids are big fans of the wimpy on streatham high road which oh my god i used to go there the best place ever a lot of people turn their noses up at but you know what You can't go wrong. And the kids think it's like heaven on earth. Florence said this year for her birthday, I said, right, you get to choose where we go for dinner. You can go anywhere you like because it's your birthday.

And she said, please, can we just go to Wimpy on Streatham High Road? I was like, yes, you can. Florence has great taste. I wrote about that in my book, actually, that particular Wimpy. Ah, all the best people go there, clearly. Why did it make the grade in my book actually that particular wimpy ah all the best people go there clearly why did it make the grade in the book well the book is about kind of food memories and it was actually a bit of a sad memory but um i my parents had um split up and my dad was trying to do something that like my mum was always better at doing the like the fun stuff like we go

to the abc cinema in streatham or we go to the odeon and we go and get loads of sweets and we go or we'll be going to trocadero she was always kind of like always taking us places fun junction and crystal palace i think that was a thing that is no longer um and my dad was like trying to take me somewhere that would kind of was a bit like what my mum would do so he took me to see dumb and dumber which is like the worst thing to go and see with your dad um and then took me for a wimpy and it was like a really sad wimpy and i felt really sorry for him because it really he was like a fish out of water but uh the banana milkshake i don't know if it's still as good as it used to be in the 90s oh yeah my son is a big fan yeah it's really good and the wholemeal bun i really appreciate it

now you're surprising me here because food is jesse where you are all about food and here you are loving a wimpy i'm i'm very pleased absolutely i think i i hate the idea that potentially people think i'm a food snob because i'm absolutely not I think good food is good food and and and some of those ones bring you know Wimpy brings in such nostalgia from my childhood and those kind of rainy Sundays when mum would not know what to do and she'd be taking us to the cinema we've probably seen the film three times anyway but she was like sod it let's go again and getting that I don't know that it's like treats isn't it and um so yeah so why a pod about food when you're a singer and why your mum I've got to ask she's amazing but where on earth does the idea

to do a pod with your mum I got stuck with Annie you know well you two are amazing but also I think basically my food is kind of my everything I I mean, apart from my kids and my house burned and everything. I have always adored it. And I think I was having a bit of a crappy time with music where I just felt like it was just a kind of, it was relentless. I felt like I was too torn with being a parent and not being a good enough parent because I was working too hard. But also that wasn't working out brilliantly.

So I was kind of, I just needed an outlet. And so I decided to do a podcast. And we kind of started it quite a long time ago in the grand scheme of podcasts yeah and um and it was really meant to be an outlet and an escape from what my day job was which was singing and I thought why not do it talking about food and memories and, and, and have my mum cook the meal because my mum's, it's always been a thing. If you know me,

you would have, and, and we like you, you will have been invited round to my mum's for a Friday night dinner or some kind of dinner. And people have always loved it and they've loved my mum's cooking and she's just like the best host. So I was like,

well, why not do that? And I'll get to see my mum, bring my washing over and she'll cook. And to be fair, I didn't realize she was going to have such a big kind of part. I thought maybe she'd be like just serving the meal and having like a quip or two. But no one puts Lenny in the corner, as I've said before. As anybody who's listened to the podcast knows. And it just, it I I never

thought it would be as successful as it has been um it has been incredible and I think you know my mum is such a star I'm so proud of her she brought us up on her own and she's just amazing she's vivacious she's inspiring she's obnoxious a lot of the time she's interested that's the thing I love about her she's so interested in everyone it's such a lovely quality I mean you don't hear the edit sometimes she's not interested in them and and I have to yeah anyway it's very no it's really it's just I think mum and I have got a similar thing where we're so interesting people and we love conversation you take us anywhere and we'll make friends with anyone in that queue that we're waiting to board the plane on anyone in the kind of waiting the

line for the tube anyone at the the hotel bar like we love a conversation. So it kind of suits us perfectly. Now, I want to know, and you've kind of touched on this just as co-hosts, Wendy and I often find that one of us really takes to a guest. And then the other one's like, no, I just don't feel like I gelled with that person. Does that happen with you and your mum or are you much more you both love someone or you both don't love someone? Oh, my God. Totally. I think with now I'm worried who's not gelling with me when you get off this you're gonna have to convo no you're you're one of the ones we both don't worry um thank you um no I definitely I think my mum kind of turns off when it's a music person even though she loves music I think she thinks that like it's your thing she's out yeah and i think she's like oh bore off oh yeah woe is you me women in the music industry i've heard it before um but um but yeah and then she is like incredible when it comes to politicians

or journalists that's like when she really gets her radio 4 voice on and she really like goes for it and I kind of just go right over to you mum because I sound so stupid right now so yeah I'll leave it to her it's a great double act I love it thank you so stepping away from the world of podding and going back to the world of mumming who is it that gets you through we've talked we've touched a little bit on the spag bol and a glass of rosé, but do you have a kind of go-to bunch of mum, I hate the word mum friends, and I've just used it. Yeah, because it could be dads.

Shoot me now. Parent friends, or is it old friends, or is it music industry friends? Who are your kind of sanity savers that you drink wine with? I mean, I think it's kind of become really like localized so i've got like i'm really enjoying making friends with my daughter's school friends um mums and dads because it they're not in music industry they're not showbiz um and they're really fantastic and it's probably people i don't know about you but school friends it's probably people, I don't know about you, but school friends, it's parents maybe that you would never have thought that you would necessarily be friends with.

They're maybe not like your old uni friends or your kind of schoolmates, whatever, but there's something that brings you together with, you know, through the school, through your kids being friends, and I love that. And so it's really, I don't know, I've got a really lovely mate up the road called Kerrian who I probably would have been friends with her before, but I met her and we're kind of, you know,

she works in HR and she's fantastic and I love her and she's doing so much stuff for the community and I'm so inspired by her and then I'm just like the shit person that's like, I don't know, going, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get involved, yeah. With all your spare time, obviously. Yeah, well, that'll get involved. Yeah. But all your spare time. Yeah, well, that's the thing. I use that maybe as an excuse. But, yeah, so I don't know. I have I was one of the first of my girlfriends to have a baby. And we have a WhatsApp group and it's probably like mostly of like my uni, my uni mates. And we kind of ask questions or tell each other who's shitting

and who's, you know, picking their nose and whatever, and we kind of send pictures. But they're my people, but I kind of feel like lots of my girlfriends come to me for some of the advice. Well, they used to because it was like first time around. Now they, you know, they knew what they were doing anyway. But I have a kind of variety. I think also, you know, I like to ask my mum questions,

but I don't always like to take her advice because I don't agree with it sometimes. But I kind of, she's maybe sometimes my first point of call, which, point of call, just because she's my mum, but then I don't like what she says. So then I go, okay, now I'm rejecting that. But yeah, it's really varied. I do have friends in the industry and that's kind of a different conversation.

That's usually about how you're going to manage touring with babies like me and Paloma Faith are always texting each other. How are you going to do that? I'm genuinely worried. How are you going to do that? I mean, I don't know you're just gonna wing it no i'm after it's really it's really depressing how hard it is to make it work

particularly with covid i mean my issue right now is like bless poor paloma faith has just had to cancel some shows because she got laryngitis from her baby who got it from her toddler, the toddler wasn't we had her on here and she was talking about the fact she was pregnant yeah she was she was saying she didn't know how she was going to do this tour with two in tow

so she left one at home because that one I think maybe at school now actually so left one at home because that one, I think, may be at school now, actually. And so left one at home. But that one had already passed on the lurgy to the baby who passed it on to her. So they all got laryngitis, you know. So best laid plans. It's really tough the way that I'm going to do it because I'm doing quite a lot.

I'm dancing in my show, which is very verging on midlife crisis, I think. But I'm doing like a full month of rehearsals in November and I'm touring in probably the worst time for like bug season in December. And it's only like 10 days. However, I'm going to not, I'm not going to be able to bring the two old ones on tour. One one's in school and she's got to go to school

and the other one will stay with her but I'll bring the baby but it's a bit Sophie's choice but also it's it's this thing of like quarantine isolating and bubbling

I don't really I'm going to either have to bring our nanny and steal her away from our other two um for two weeks or my husband comes or can we balance it so my husband comes for a few days so that he's not leaving the other two it's really my head hurts thinking about it it's really it's really shit and i feel sorry for the kids i feel a bit sorry for myself and i feel sorry um like yeah we're not going to be able to like go to restaurants or go out of our hotel on days off because i'm so scared about getting covid because if covid happens i can't do the show whether or not i'm ill or not i can't do the show so um i'm kind of it's whether i knuckle

down like a week before the show starts and don't live with my kids it's so crap but we'll work it out and it's a short lived thing but it is a tough thing where you feel

like you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't and all oh shit is that my is that my door

or yours that's my doorbell I'm going to just okay fine absolutely ignore that and hope dogs doesn't start barking sorry

carry on Jessie are you sure you don't want to get it it'll be amazon it's probably yeah exactly don't tell my husband nobody tell tim so coming back to what jessie was saying about the difficulties of juggling and touring i think any any working parent listening to this like it's all just a constant moving, shifting, isn't it? Totally. I mean, you know, I was just chatting to my mate who's a freelancer. Her baby's just had croup. The childminder just called in sick.

The baby was up all night. She's knackered. I'm just going to walk with her to have a coffee. And she was like, it's just relentless. And, you know, so, yeah, the juggling is just wild for anybody um absolutely mine's just a bit like it's just a bit of a kind of it I think people think maybe it feels really fabulous but I'm yeah it and I'm not complaining was were you kind of like oh well in for a penny when you went for number three you know it's chaos with two what the hell I want another one the merrier yeah and you know what like, oh, well, in for a penny when you went for number three? You know, it's chaos with two. What the hell?

I want another one. Oh, the more the merrier, yeah. And you know what? Like, it's chaotic, but it's the best kind of chaos. And I love it, and I'm one of three. And so I felt like I needed to do – I mean, my husband was like, you're fucking mad. And now he's going, well, we should just even it up and have four. Oh, go on, Jessie.

Go on. It's your pelvic floor, floor love you've got to make that decision and now i'm doing my kegels kegels whatever they're called don't we got a press release this morning jesse you have to tell her the story tell her the story so we got a press release this morning that said there's some sort of movement going on to encourage women to be hashtag dry for Christmas and I was like oh I thought it was a press release about potty training or something and I opened it and then the second hashtag is hashtag festive fanny and basically they're trying to get you to do your pelvic floors so that you're dry for Christmas a dry fanny doesn't sound very attractive, though, does it? It doesn't, does it? Well, it sounds better than a leaky fanny, though. Oh, yeah, and a moist.

Ugh. Moist, don't use that word. But also, just the words festive fanny make me think of, like, what did you call it? Like a vajazzle. You know, when people used to have sequins and shit on there. Oh, when they had diamonds, yeah. It's like opening up your legs and going,

we wish you a Merry Christmas. Well, I sent it to my friend and she said, well, my festive fanny got me Toby. So that's her eldest. And I was like, wow. So I'm going to, we're going to write about this story because it's part funny and part degrading. I think I'm not sure what it is. Now, Jessie, talk to us. You've got another podcast out, haven't you?

About parenting itself. Well, no, talk to us. You've got another podcast out, haven't you, about parenting itself? Well, no, it's not. I don't know if it's about parenting because I feel like I can't. It's more about parenting. I don't know. Is it? Well, it's about pregnancy more specifically. Yeah. So it's about pregnancy. I basically, like every other person under the sun, I think, Googled everything, even on my third baby. When I was pregnant, I did about 10 pregnancy tests,

Googled saying, can I be pregnant when da-da-da, anyway. And I just thought that, you know, we all have the apps, don't we, where it says what size vegetable our baby is and stuff. I just thought that potentially, instead of looking at a screen or typing something in, and the internet can be really brilliant for lots of things, but it also can scare you to death. I just thought, why not have a conversation

around all these symptoms, all these questions with some experts that kind of become a friendly, reassuring voice in your ear and kind of do a bit of a, you know, week by week, what's going on with your baby, what's going on with your body. Is it normal that you have itchy boobs? Is it normal that you've got loads of discharge that you didn't want to talk to your midwife about?

Yes, it's all normal. And it just was trying to create a bit of a community of um people to help reassure others that everything is normal because every pregnancy is different um and the symptoms are endless and you may experience all or none or some and just to kind of be yeah a little helping hand to help you through pregnancy and preparing for birth. And it's honestly, it's kind of an offering for people. Take it or leave it. Take a little bit of the advice that the experts give you. Or if that's not for you, fine.

And so it's kind of just trying to empower the pregnant person in this, in a really mad nine months, waiting for this big day where you don't know what's going to happen so yeah I think I would have really loved it when I was pregnant with my first and my second and I guess I was um lucky to make it on my third um but yeah that's so that was um that was that's what we've been doing whilst I've been pregnant i really would have loved that because i hated all sorts of things i was annie and i both get a f minus for being pregnant because we were both pukers oh you poor thing and i just would have loved did you get it all the way through oh yes yeah oh kate middleton spash yeah but without the posh doctors and anyone giving a shit, basically.

I still did the school run. I just puked into bushes on the way. It was fine. Oh, my God, you poor thing. So we definitely would have done with a podcast to kind of soothe our woes. Oh, well, look, I mean, it's been amazing, the reaction. I think when we put out, because I was just trying to do it quite quietly. Um, I think it's such a, um, terrifying, uh, space to put yourself in because everyone has different

opinions. So I didn't want to ever make it feel like I was being prescriptive with the advice that was given. It is very much like, here is this, but here's the other side of it and take what you will from this and I am not the expert I am the one asking the questions um but um I do think that it's been it's been really amazing the reaction but also when I just put out an email I mean I put out a thing on my Instagram being like you know doing this pregnancy project if you're interested like you know write to this email and the we got thousands of of emails you know people want to talk about their pregnancies they want to discuss it they want to you become so exhausted by it right yeah yeah right so you know you want

to talk about sleep sleeping you want to talk about poos you want to talk about sleep, sleeping. You want to talk about poos. You want to talk about wheeze. Everyone wants to talk about it. And it consumes you. So, yeah, it's been really amazing, the reaction. I'm glad. I'm glad. Now, I wanted to ask you something about births. So you've had three of them. Obviously, the bit that I'm most interested about the birth is what did you eat afterwards?

Because traditionally, you're meant to have that tea and toast that the midwife makes you aren't you never got it but i i noticed in your instagram after you had the new baby it was a burger you were chowing down on what did you have after the other two and what was the best so first time uh it was a kind of over 24 hours the labor like standard for old first babies right um some people go more than a day anyway i chugged on that gas and air so hard um and vomited so much i looked like i was at like secret garden party on like the last day and i i i wanted i knew i wanted an honestest Burger. We were at UCH. I was like, I've planned the Honest Burger.

It's on Tottenham Court Road, babe. That's what we're going to get. And he went to get it, my husband. Baby was born at about 4.30 in the afternoon. Perfect time for a burger. And I couldn't swallow it because I'd made my throat so red raw. No. But I had to eat frigging cornflakes, soggy cornflakes for like five days.

No. So I did not get my moment, champagne and burger. I did not get it. That's life being very cruel to you. Yeah. Crap. Second time round, born at home, very late at night. Don't know.

Oh, I'd made a spag bowl before which i believe is the reason i went into labor so i had this spag bowl um which was absolutely delicious so um he was born late and we had dark chocolate and champagne perfect in bed with all my midwives cup of tea dark chocolate champagne in bed with the midwives love cup of tea, dark chocolate, champagne, light. In bed with your midwives, love it. Yeah, loved it. And then third time, this one was born at home, very lovely time to actually be born,

8.30, 8.15, 8.30, considerate, got a delivery, got my Honest Burger, got my Honest Burger. Yay!

Yay! All the midwives got their Honest Burgers, we all had them and got everything. I don't know if i had a big enough glass of champagne but sat in bed with honest burgers and chips and their bacon gravy and it was wicked oh that sounds so good i was so out of it it was like oh really i was just like the idea of alcohol would have pushed i wouldn't i went in fully intended to have a glass of champagne so what did you have oh tea sweet tea and hot chocolate and toast i was in

hospital though so it's kind of you get what you're given a little bit but there is i mean there's nothing more nurturing and reassuring than really good buttered white toast i mean i love it that smell on the hospital is the best smell in a hospital because I don't like the smells in hospitals. But that smell of when the breakfast round's happening and you get the tea and toast, I love it. You're making me want toast. Everything you talk about, I just want to go and eat.

I'm going to end up the size of a house by the end of this bloody podcast. Now, over to you, Wend, for the next question. Yeah, now this is a slightly tricky question, Jessie. We always ask our guests how do you want to be remembered by your kids oh god that's um i i want to be remembered oh fuck because i know i'm not the fun one my husband is is the fun one. I'm like the person that... But you might be. You might become the fun one.

I'm not the fun one. I'm just not. Like, bless them, my daughter's trying to be implementing tickle time. Actually, it's been really jokes. My pelvic floor just about managed my husband, not my husband, Freudian slip, my son, like jumping on my bladder.

But anyway, I'm definitely not going to be known as the fun one, but I'm going to be, hopefully I'll be known as the one that made them think they could be and do anything and took them to exciting places and let them experience the world and loved them loads and gave really good cuddles and head massages. My daughter demands a head massage every night now. I'd be up for that nightly head massage. That sounds lovely.

That was not very profound, but I'm blaming my third child for my baby brain. But I just want to know, I'm actually very refreshed by your answer because we get a lot of, Oh, just remember that I was very loving and did it. And that's all of course. Yeah.

But it is more interesting to know who's the fun one in the house, who isn't, what else your role can be. Because it is hard to find what your little role is in the gang, isn't it? I think sometimes I need to, like, step down from my mission, though. And, like, just, I need to be more present. I know that. I do about 10,000 different things. Oh, but we all do.

Yeah. That's not just you. Don't take that one on your shoulders alone. I think my husband is just so brilliant at being fun and in the moment. And I'm always like planning. It's like, I mean, I do it with food anyway. Like when we're eating breakfast and planning what we're having for lunch

it's I never get off the the kind of the treadmill I'm just constant and I wish I could just be still and be in the moment and actually

I've written a song about it for the next record just because I love those moments when I stop but I don't give myself enough time to stop because I'm always thinking about

what it is whether it's me I mean I think that is similar for lots of parents and maybe particularly mums when we're organising, you know, whether they're doing ballet, who they're seeing, da-da-da, like whether they've had their bloody, you know,

balanced meal. I mean, it's not fun shit, but, you know. Shit that's got to be done. God, I sound so dull. dull no you don't you just sound like a normal person now okay talk about shit that's got to be done uh what's for tea tonight and who's cooking okay so um tonight i we're we're trying to we're trying to clear out our freezer because it's really icy this is really boring isn't it but so we're trying to clear out our freezer because it's really icy. This is really boring, isn't it?

So we're trying to really get through the freezer. So the kids are a big fan of scampi, waffles. They're going to have the frozen peas. It's going to be one of them. I'm sick of trying at the moment. I don't have a kitchen. They don't eat anything. So it's alternating between gnocchi pasta tortellini or something in the

freezer i vote for scampi the scampi sounds nice yeah scampi is like it's so funny my daughter who's quite fussy like she'll eat mussels till they come out of her ears. And I just like, that blows my mind. She'll eat like prawns, scampi, but yet won't touch, you know, a bit of like chicken with some sauce on. No, my daughter was the same. She'd eat calamari and olives, but she wouldn't eat a chicken nugget. Yeah, Atty loves smoked eel,

but ask him to eat a potato and he'll burst into tears. Shut up! Yeah, he asked for his birthday. He said, can you get me some smoked eels from northern ireland i mean how ridiculous but if you give him a mashed lump of mashed potato he'll cry and say you know i can't eat that it's disgusting mashed potato either it's so funny isn't it like my son actually wretches on it yeah come on buck up i can't say i blame him i'm not a fan of the mashed are you serious Wendy? I don't think we can be friends anymore Have you never told me this?

I eat roasties It's just mashed Oh Wend, Wend, Wend I'm just not a big fan of potato I'm sorry, give me rice Or like rice any day over potato I think we're going to have to end this conversation Right here

My surname is O'Leary I know you are an Irish potato farmer at heart Oh fair enough I think we're going to have to end this conversation right here. My surname is O'Leary. I know you are an Irish potato farmer at heart, but get over it. Oh, fair enough, sorry, yeah. So, Jessie, last question. Yeah. Got to be an easy one for you. Yeah. Imagine Annie and I are your three delightful children

and you are tucking us into bed and sing us your family lullaby. What do you sing when they can't go to sleep? Because everyone has a go-to song. Okay. And you are tucking us into bed and sing us your family lullaby. What do you sing when they can't go to sleep? Because everyone has a go-to song. Okay. So my, okay, I've got a few. Is that okay? Oh, good.

Yeah. Give us a medley. A medley. I like to, I've tried out songs. I did a Disney song. I did a version of Dream is a Wish for a Disney thing. And I thought, I did it before I had children.

I was like, oh my God, this is going to be the lullaby that I sing to my kids. At the moment, my son really needs London Bridge is Falling Down. Of course.

But then one night, woke up in sweat and tears. He has quite a lot of night terrors. And he had woke up in sweat and tears he has quite a lot of night terrors and he had woke up in sweat and tears and i said what's the matter donnie he went bridge is falling down and i thought right we need to stop doing that before bed so that one's done um the one that i have to say my son really likes he is very into the songs uh Frozen you know that one no just the intro it's the intro basically so I have to just do that and then I have to do the Olav bit where he goes and then they love so basically I have to pretend that I'm one of the people that Elsa belongs to and Olaf. So that's something that we do and I have to do that over and over again.

Otherwise, it's really annoying. They just want Twinkle Twinkle and I'm so sick of it. Aren't we all? It's a classic though. It's a classic, it's a classic guys well i've tried all the jazz standards and they just don't go for them it's very disappointing when you can actually sing because i can't sing for and my kids want oranges and lemons which is oh wow yes it's pretty brutal at the end though here comes the chopper to chop off your head

yeah they all kind of sound like nightmares yeah we've had to rework it so that it's not scary um but i don't sing to my children because it's not fair on them no come on look i sing to my children they go turn it down mommy i want spice girls that's hilarious paloma faith said that when she sings to hers and they tell her to shut up she's like dude do you know how much people would normally pay for this? Oh, mate, I've said exactly the same. This is kind of why I'm quite up for making my daughter go beyond her bedtime, to just see how many people adore me in Brixton Academy. You have to.

Which I see. You have to. Yeah, she's got to see it. Yeah? See, and you want me to sing London Bridge. Really? Oh, you don't even want me to. You just want, oh, no, the other one,

the heartbreaking thing, they go, I want Daddy to sing. And I'm like, fuck you. Daddy has no voice. I shouldn't say fuck you. Everyone's going to be like, oh, my God, Jessie, she gets social services involved. I don't actually swear at them.

They definitely, my daughter's got really good at telling me off for swearing. We have a swear jar and it has got more money in it than I think I've got in the bank. Who gets the money? Well, basically, whoever has run out of cash and needs to pay someone pillages the swear jar most of the time. It's been spent on lego it's you know the kids are supposed to get it because they put the money in it every time we swear but it's become a bit of a joke because we swear so much we had a night on holiday this year where i said they for some reason swearing came up and i said right for one night only and because we're away in the middle of nowhere camping in a tent you can say all the

swear words you've ever heard and it was hilarious seeing they're really sort of puzzled like am I really allowed to say this can I can I really do this and and then also hearing the words they think are swear words that aren't and then some of the words that they really should what were there any ones that stood out that they thought were swear words? No, except that to them, the F word is still fart, which I'm quite pleased about. You get a bit panicky when you hear them say, can I say the F word?

And you're like, oh, really? And then it's fart, so you're fine. Chloe F bombed Nanny when she was four. She was sat in the hall and she went, Nanny, I can't get on my fucking boots. She used it right. She used it right. My mum nearly combusted.

It was hysterical. My daughter was playing Mario Kart because that's what my husband's got her into. She's very good at it. I think it's way too early for her to be a gamer. But anyway, she was doing Mario Kart races. We like to say it's really good for their you know cognitive development and yeah um anyway um she went for fuck's sake um because she came third and and she said it under her breath and i thought yeah you know you've done that well

but then the other day she said cricket hell oh and i thought i don't mind her saying cricket hell yeah i think it was meant to be fucking hell. Yeah. I mean, yeah. My mum just, yeah, I don't know. Yeah, my mum just says, you need to stop swearing because she'll swear and then you'll get called in by the teachers. Yeah. A friend of mine got called into nursery, got called into nursery saying that their kid had been saying fuck's sake too often. And the teacher said, we try saying fat snake.

Because that's going to work, isn't it? teacher said we try I'm saying fat snake how many people do that she get called in well you're fed I've never been called in so there's hope for us all if I haven't right miss where we're gonna let you go back to your baby thank you so much this has been really lovely thank you for having me and um come back after the tour and tell us how it went please um you'll probably see on instagram i'll be like i'm so sorry i've contracted covid and there won't be a door and i'm now really uh bankrupt because i had to pay for all those but anyway no uh fingers crossed uh hopefully I'll make it to Brixton Academy without a lurgy touch wood fingers crossed

good luck Jessie thank you thank you Jessie bye bye bye lots of love