The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep6: Anton Du Beke on being paired with some of the more ‘challenging’ Strictly guests, and the visualisation that got him through IVF

Episode Date: October 27, 2020

Want to know what falling love sounds like? Listen to this week’s guest, Anton Du Beke, make Wendy and Annie fall head over heels for him. From the joy that fills his soul watching twins, George and Henrietta, dance, to the agony that was IVF; from the trick to acing routines with less than ace dance partners, to the lullaby he sings the twins at bedtime, listeners - he had us at 5, 6, 7, 8. A Christmas to Remember by Anton Du Beke, available to pre-order now from all good bookshops, and out in hardback, eBook and audio on 29th October. 

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears, brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary. And I'm Wendy Gollage. And together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments. With guests who are far more interesting than we are. Right, so Wendy, while we're recording this intro, you need to know that I'm packing. Packing because I'm leaving and I'm running off with this week's guest because he is quite possibly the most perfect man in the world, it would appear.

I always did quite like him. And now that we have spoken to him on the podcast, I've fallen even more madly in love with him. Are you coming as well? Well, I was about to say, I think you should stop packing because I'm going. I actually love him properly. Could we not share him? Could it be some kind of weird three-way? Well, why the hell not?

If he's not there, go on. Everyone, this week we had Anton Dubek. Keep listening and we challenge you not to fall in love with him by the end of it. Welcome to Sweat, Snot and Tears, you lovely people. Who's sweaty, snotty or teary today? I'm a bit snotty and worrying I'm going to have to quarantine or something horrible like that. Wendy, which of the three is happening in your household? There was tears about wonky pigtails this morning. Oh God. There's no sweat

because it's bloody freezing and I'm marginally snotty but I'm ignoring it. Okay, that's good. I'm sure our listeners aren't particularly interested in our snot levels, though. So without further ado, let's welcome today's guest, Mr. Anton Dubek. Welcome to the show. Hello, my love. Thank you very much indeed. It's lovely to be here and to be invited on to your fabulous show. And wonderfully titled as well, may I say.

Well, exactly. Now, the first question we always ask in connection with the title of the show is, were there any sweat, snot or teary moments in your house today so far? No, so far so good. I mean, we all got dropped off this morning and we're in fine fettle, everybody. We weren't, but we're doing all right now. We had an ear infection. Henrietta had an ear infection oh henrietta had an ear infection the other day so she was a bit under the weather but all good now so that

we're all bouncing and we're good to go that's very good news how old are the twins now anton three and a half oh such a glorious age i'm sure you'll agree. It's a really, really brilliant age. I absolutely love it. They started, well, school, if you like, but not school, nursery in actual fact, but nursery at the school that they're going to go to. So school uniforms, all the fulcher models. So they went to school on the Thursday. George came home with a cold and was off school. He had a cold

over the weekend and was off school on the Monday. And of course, Henrietta picked the cold up from George immediately after that, and she was off for the rest of the week. So two days at school and then a week off. Marvellous. So what is a normal morning in a household with three-and-a-half-year-old twins like Anton? Share the love. Tell us. Well, it's never the same twice, really. You know, waking up times vary. But they're normally pretty good.

We're into bed for about 7 o'clock and we're normally up around well it had been about seven o'clock but we're normally up about half past six and then they come into the room uh into the bedroom and they jump in bed so it's come into the bedroom cuddles in the morning lovely jubbly that's like my favorite thing and then we're uh we get changed and we're downstairs for breakfast and then we uh into the car and off to school uh leave the house about 10 past eight so it's good it's and it's a pretty good system we've got we haven't got a bad system going currently currently he says very good currently anything can change any second moment it sounds like you've got it licked, this twin game.

Have you got any tips for parents who are currently expecting twins? People who are pregnant with twins in the Netmoms forum, I would say, are probably our most anxious users. Well, it is. It's the most brilliant thing ever, having twins. I have to be honest with you, but you'll never feel like you've got enough arms. That is the get help. That's all I can say. The great thing, of course, about having twins is that everything happens at the same time. So you don't have that sort of prolonged.

I know people who have had a child or a baby and then sort of two years later had another baby or 18 months later had another baby and that sort of like prolongs the whole process rather because you go through I don't know whatever phase it is maybe just bottle feeding or whatever it is and then once it's all past that you sort of pack everything away but you pack it away for the pair of them but when you've got one and then another it all has to come out again and stay out so the lovely thing about twins is everything happens at the same time and it's brilliant so we know that you were very open about conceiving due to IVF due to hanumetriosis so and we know it's beyond difficult and again in our forum talk about their hopes getting raised and dashed and we've all had

personal experience of friends in this situation how did you guys cope do you have any tips for surviving it the process of IVF you mean yeah for me for me personally it's very difficult because I'm talking about it from a male perspective and and yeah but the dad's point of view is really value is really important as well I think isn't it because you've got to, suffer your own stress and grief or whatever's attached to it, but you've also got to be this amazing support. I knew that Hannah would be feeling worse. So I just sort of had to get a grip of myself and be there in order to support her. Because she's doing the heavy lifting there. I'm just, what am I doing? I'm stroking her hair and telling her I love her.

She's the one who's doing it and having the injections in the tummy and the injections in the bottom. And I mean, they're not little needles, these things. And you just, you wish you could take some of these things from her. you know you can't and it's really uh that's really sort of emotional for i found it emotional for me but again what am i getting emotional about for crying out loud it she's the one who's got to have it done so get a grip yourself and i just felt that i needed to be

oh i didn't need to i needed to be is that it was important that I was supportive for Hannah, really. And just to keep an eye, you know, the eye on the prize. It's the process. That is the process. That's the way it has to be. We'll do this together and we'll we'll push on and we'll, you know, just think about the wonderful thing at the end. So if you are fortunate enough to become pregnant and have babies then you know you you girls are amazing things you have babies and you instantly forget the pain i have no idea that's why they made the girls have the babies and not the boys because it would be useless there'd be you say all the right things if the fellas had to have the babies there'd be disaster no that wouldn't work at all the girls are much more coped for this better brains that's the thing got better brains

so how do you keep going though because we obviously know that your story had a very happy ending you've got these beautiful twins but you don't know that that's going to be your outcome as you're going through it do you how do you keep going when it's when you're just like how much longer how much longer is it going to work is it going going when it's when you're just like oh how much longer how much longer is it going to work is it going to work it's the unknown that's so scary isn't it you know dandelions uh and you know when they you know when they they have that the the dandelions aren't the dandelions anymore and they're they're sort of that dandelion fuzz i suppose you call it oh and you do the lovely blowing thing and you say what time is it

it goes off that's how I felt through the whole process that I was holding one of those things in the palms of my hands and that if I'd moved too swiftly or did anything that might disturb this incredibly delicate flower that I would ruin it? And that's how I felt through the whole thing. I felt like I was holding dandelion fuzz in the palms of my hand through the whole process. So that was my personal anxiety through the whole thing. I was scared all of the time and it's that bizarre situation where you go honestly get a grip because you're not doing this she's doing this so you can't suddenly get all sort of emotional because it is a delicate process it is that process you have to just keep

your eye on the on the end result, really. And I spoke to a lady, I mean, I was having my hair cut during the time, I remember. And there was a lady there at the hairdressers, and we were talking about IVF, and she said that she'd had 13 attempts. And I think she'd probably managed to get pregnant on her 13th attempt. And this is a lady. Now, there's two sides of things. One is the emotional side of that.

I mean, that's massive. And the other side is the financial side of it. If you try to do it privately, it's going to cost you fortune. Now, this lady, you had the great fortune of not having to worry about it financially. She was well off, and that was her great fortune. On the downside of course it took her 13 attempts so i remember her being quite not matter of fact about it but i suppose after she'd failed a few times or it hadn't worked for a few times she sort of got a

potentially a sort of bit of siege mentality about it right we're gonna try this again and then well eventually it worked out for us it was all worth it in the end um if it is enough for it to happen for you if it doesn't happen for you then that's that must be terribly terribly difficult and i've and it breaks my heart every time i think about it really do you think you would have been prepared for that if it hadn't ended in the happy ending that it did did you have a plan for how you were going to cope actually no you don't because you don't want to think about it in a negative way you try to keep as positive as you can all the time you don't want to it's ridiculous really you don't want to tempt fate so if you give it a moment's

negativity a moment's negative thought about it you know this isn't going to happen which is normal but you will do yeah it's all like you're yeah if you name if you name it do you think it could happen so you almost don't want to give it a name you're sort of guarding yourself yeah it's all like you're yeah if you name if you name it do you think it could happen so you almost don't want to give it a name you're sort of guarding yourself really it's a human thing you're guarding yourself from disappointment as we do all the time in life you know you don't get too excited about something in case it doesn't happen so you're guarding against i mean you should get excited about something you should be excited about the prospect of becoming pregnant in this but you don't want to get too excited because you know that the disappointment will be even greater and that's what you're guarding against

all the time really um it's one of those if you're fortunate enough to be able to become pregnant it's the most incredible thing i i hannah reminds me i barely spoke really i couldn't when we went back in for the scans and stuff. And I went, oh, and there's a heartbeat. I couldn't speak. Oh, wow. And at what stage did you realise it was twins? And what was your reaction to that?

Oh, there's a heartbeat. And then he goes, oh, and there's another. It's like a movie scene. I went Oh, that's all I did And then I couldn't speak And you know, if anybody's ever met me They'd realise that's quite a thing

I was going to say You're not known for your Lack of words Did you have any little Superstitions, Anton? Did you have to wear your lucky pants or put your lucky socks on every time you went to the hospital that's a good question when you know like everyone's got that thing that they do whether it's their they take a little lucky charm with them or like i

said they've got pants what was yours did you have one really actually i wish we did actually i think you need to go and get yourself some lucky pants tonight, Anton. I think I should. I've got some old pants, but that's not really the same thing, is it? It's not the same. No, sadly, I don't have any. So you were then blessed with your lovely friends. Now, you were 50, though. Were you 50 when they were born? I was 50 when they were born i was 50 when they were born yeah

so technically or according to the daily mail i guess you'd be classed as an older dad does that bother you does it make any difference do you care do you even think about it uh well since i tell everybody i'm 35 yes it doesn't bother me at all as do i reminds me of it um i uh i've sort of lived the early part of my life when people would sort of traditionally have babies when you're a bit younger of course um and looking back there i'm sort of quite pleased i didn't do it then because i wasn't much cop in those days i was only focused on on one thing um and that that wasn't conducive with having babies now knowing what that's like so i'm delighted that we didn't have uh children until i was 50 or hannah was what we call an older mum i suppose as well um and i think we're we're delighted that's

happened that way uh and bearing in mind we i mean we only met each other uh eight and a half years ago so if we decided to do earlier we would have been doing it with other people and i wouldn't have liked that at all i i really have only ever wanted to have children with hannah um because i because i think she's amazing so um and she's amazing at it. And I'm delighted that it's happened together. So for me, this is the perfect age and time of my life to have children. Serendipity. Now, I have to ask, Anton, they're only three and a half, but kitchen discos were a thing in our house at three and a half.

Can they dance? Please tell us they can dance, please. It's fantastic. They love dancing. And the great thing about kitchen discos now is everyone's got a bit of an Alexa of some description, one form or another. And so you can just shout out a song in the kitchen and it comes on and it's amazing and then we just start having a dance it's brilliant I love it I love I love the dancing what school

Len gives them would you give them a 10 definitely 12. Do they go to dance classes yet? What they have started at nursery school nursery is they do a dance class and? What they have started at nursery, school nursery, is they do a dance class and so they do ballet. And so they're both going to start doing ballet classes. And are you going to be going and watching and saying, come on, improve the turnout, children? They've got that show on the television called Dance Mums, which they have.

I'm going to be like a nightmare dance father. Wow. I think this has got TV show written all over it, following you and the kids to their ballet lessons. They're in my tights just for support. Give them more support. Can you imagine being that poor dance teacher? Oh, my God, it would be awful.

Ballet to these little kids, and there's Antonton de bloody becks oh i wish i could be a fly it's the loveliest thing i can't i can't even tell you it's lovely to see them dancing because they dance they do what they feel there's no right and wrong they just dance yes it's that free expression. And it's brilliant. And they have already got their own sort of particular moves. And it's just joyous.

I love it. It is joyous. I can remember being their age. And we had lessons at school. I don't know if either of you had these, called musical movement. And you had to essentially run around the hall pretending to be a leaf or a tree. And I can remember in the hall thinking to myself, this is the best thing I've ever done. Like this is the best feeling. And weirdly enough, I recently was researching my family tree and found out that two of my great grandparents met when-grandfather was at a musical movement class,

when my great-grandmother was the piano player. Oh, you see? You see? Isn't it wonderful? Just gorgeous. I love that. I had started to dance in an old church hall, doing Borough of Latin classes, in a room full of girls. So I'd like to say it was a sort of, you know, spontaneous, natural thing, but really it was a room full of girls. So I'd like to say it was a sort of, you know, spontaneous, natural thing. But really, it was a room full of girls that got me involved in dancing. How old were you when you started, Anton? About 13, something like that, 13, 14.

So if we've got children who are younger than that, we shouldn't panic if they're not already world champion dancers? No, no, they've got time. Definitely, they've got time to develop. They don't have to be the world champion at nine it's okay because they might turn into you know something unexpected they might start off as a ballroom dancer and turn into a fabulous ballet dancer or something that you didn't expect or vice versa or did you feel it from your first lesson did you think this is me I found it

I did really actually because I wanted to be Fred Astaire and dancing with a partner made me feel like I was Fred Astaire you are you are uh it made me dancing with a partner made me feel like I was Fred Astaire and I remember learning when I started learning to dance you know it's like when people say have a dance have a dance well the one thing you don't feel like you're doing when you're learning to dance is dancing because you're going right foot forward left foot to the side holder here put your hand up there left foot forward right foot to the side back back on the right you're just trying to it feels like anything but this free expression that is called dance

because there are all these bits and pieces that get in the right order first. So for me, it was wonderful. And the feeling of dancing with a partner was always the thing I loved. And I was sort of all right in it. What are you all right? What do you want to play? I think you're a bit better than all right. I'm a bit better than all right. When I started, I was sort of, I wasn't too bad.

You know, if children have a natural aptitude for something, invariably they'll, you know, spike their enthusiasm. Because children can be a little bit, I know I was, sort of everything comes and goes too quickly. Certainly today as well. Everything is sort of disposable and comes and goes really quick. But if they find something they don't do too badly, quite quickly, there seems to be a bit more enthusiasm about it. Oh, I'm quite good at that. I know how to do that. Yes. Well, we all try harder at the things we're good at, don't we? Because we like the feeling of actually being able to do it all right.

Oh, Anton, you're the person so far that I'm most disappointed we're not in a studio. Me too. Yeah, and I'm really sad that I'm sat in my bedroom and you're at home. I know. Next time we do this, we should do this in a studio. We should do it as a group dance class between ourselves. It's my dream. Interpretive dance, Anton.

Interpretive dance. Wendy, for your head's sake, we went to a dance class. Do you remember? Yeah, I was shit. I loved it. I was straight up the front asking the teacher questions. I was like, do you want us to spin twice or once? I was loving it.

See, that's lovely. I wish I was there for that. You know how badly I sing? Dancing is the worst. I write. That is what I do. I don't sing. I don't don't dance right speaking of dancing anton strictly it's on play there are rehearsals but how the devil are you doing it in covid time

are you having to be separated from your family when you film how are you managing it we've just finished doing the group dance part of it because you know in in the show we have the great big group dances uh beginning and sort of the live show and of the uh result show so normally during august we'll be in a studio all the pros together with choreographer etc and we'll be putting together these numbers so they're done and then during the series we will revisit these numbers and then film them on the Saturday well what we've done in advance of

the show this year is that we've rehearsed all the numbers and already filmed them so because the studio is going to be empty like without audiences this year I think well unless something changes I think they're going to go without audiences so the group dances are all done and they look amazing i i reckon they're some of the best things that we've we've ever put together on the show oh i want to see it

now i want to see it now and the projections and everything just look fantastic so they look like real real brilliant numbers uh and then and in the next couple of weeks we'll be hooking up with our partner and then we'll go into the uh the show as normal you know with the uh with the partner dancing with the celebrity and the professionals dancing against each other and that remains to be seen how we're going to sort of navigate that really because everything is determined by what the government says and and we might have to bubble there's a thing about having to bubble with partner that's been spoken about so whereas the pros all bubbled together so i was away from home for a few weeks there and that was really difficult um we might have to do a bit of that with our

celebrity partner but again we'll have to wait and see what happens on that, whether the guidelines change or not. Are you allowed to tell us, this is the question we most want to know the answer to, who has been your favourite partner ever? Well, this is a very good question and it's a very difficult one to answer because I've danced with some remarkable ladies over the years.

So diplomatic, so diplomatic so diplomatic from the very first one leslie garrett who was incredible i mean she sort of set me up a bit really in the in strictly come dancing because she was so brilliant to be with because this is the first thing i'd ever done really on telly uh and so I was just a sort of a competitive dancer as, as we all were. And, and now I'm going to be on telly. And I thought to myself,

well, I'll just have to be Mr. Cause we're being filmed all the time, every day, all day. And I thought, well, I'm just going to have to be myself.

I can't try and be sort of suave and sophisticated and try and be all something. I'm not, I'll just be myself. I can't try and be sort of suave and sophisticated and try and be all something I'm not. I'll just be myself. And if people get me, then fine. If they don't get me, they'll think I'm a bit of an arse. And fine. But that's just the way it's going to have to be. So, and I'll do my best not to be.

And look what happened. Look. I fell in love with you. Oh, we should do this more. This is great and and so and leslie was such a star and so wonderful and enthusiastic i just sort of bounced off her really and her enthusiasm and then from there i went on to esther ranson who was well just esther legend that is and i've had some great partners like ruth langsford a couple of years ago and Emma last year. Wow. Emma, Katie, of course, then people like Anne Widdicombe and Nancy Deloglio.

I mean, the list. I mean, I've had a great list of ladies. I can't tell you. It's been brilliant. I can't say that I've had a great list of ladies. Yeah. But don't they say that the sign of a true gentleman is that they never reveal who the best woman was? So you're being a gent.

Well, thank you very much. But, but, but, do you get a say in who you get? Because, you know, there's got to be some who you go and say to the producer, no, no way, no way, no way. And I have to say, if I was given Anne Widdicombe I'd have had a few things to say about it well there you are you see you you'd you'd think that right you think hello I think oh I can't possibly dance with her she's five foot tall and grumpy I'm not going to dance with her it'd be a disaster this isn't going to work at all well she's gone down in the annals of Strictly Come Dancing history as I mean she was actually she came fifth we came fifth we were one week away from the

semi-final I mean legendary so it's like all these things if you sort of presume or prejudge I'd never met Anne I don't know what she's like personally um you know you could have presumed that she wasn't going to be uh much fun to be with and I we had the best time so it was wonderful I'd have missed out on all that and I would have been really disappointed about that because she's given me some of my fondest memories and strictly well do you think that's why you get some of the um maybe trickier talent because you have because you have this skill of unearthing this hidden secret dancer inside a shell of someone who might not scream dancer that's very very delicately put do you know i don't i don't know you have to ask them why they keep giving me this particular person but i don't i think it's because i don't mind really you know it's all about you're either

going to get somebody who's terrific i mean you think about maisie this year on street come dancing yeah young uh lady from east end as well she's 19 or something like that now she's 19 she's a she's a terrific dancer she did the uh children in need last year i remember with kevin and she danced amazing so you either want somebody who's going to be terrific like that and then you can just dance yeah or you want the polar opposite somebody who is going to be terrible or not and then you can have a bit of fun because true if you're going to get two off of craig revel hallward well you might as well get one and and you know and then and have a laugh with it yeah you can get you can get away with murder when you know you're going to get terrible marks you do the most outrageous thing i mean i've done some

outrageous things with my partners because i knew him you know you tried to teach him some people go well i wish you'd take it a bit more seriously with these people because they actually might be quite good well let me tell you yeah yeah that comes from that that often very comes from people who haven't been in the studio with them so you you know you judge them and you dance with them and you realize what they're what that you're going to be able to get out of them and then you go well i could make this really simple and make it but it's not going to be one it's not going to be interesting for them and two it's not going to interest them for the audience and no one's going to get anything out of this so i say to them listen we can do a serious number if you fancy or do you fancy should

we have a bit of fun with this and try and do something let's have you flying in on the top of a car looking like um the woman from 101 dalmatians or something um cruella deville as i did with judy murray and, you know, you can get away with murder because you know the judges aren't going to mark you very well anyway, but then they wouldn't have done. So you just go, right, let's throw the kitchen sink at this. We're going to do a number. And that's my favourite expression.

I've got to ask, is it action better when they're a bit shit? Is it more... Yes, because there are fewer steps. Because if you end up with a... love it emma last year was remarkable she was a brilliant brilliant partner i loved every second of being with her she was great to watch she was great great to watch lovely she's gorgeous she's talented she's super duper but there were so many steps i, there's so many steps to have to learn. When you've got somebody you can keep off the floor for about 35 seconds, you do so many fewer steps. It's brilliant. He wants an easy life.

You know what you're storing up here, Anton, is you are storing up the most fabulous series of anecdotes for tell-all book I think I've ever seen are you ever going to shock us and do the Anton tells it like it is yeah my partners and I the real the true story something like that that'd be fabulous wouldn't it I think it'd be absolutely brilliant serialized in one of the papers every day I I'd be buying it. Well, it's a thought. It is. If it all goes wrong, Anton, if your leg falls off, that's what you've got to fall back on.

If the knees give in, I'm going to do a tell-all. So, is it hard not to blame them if you get knocked out? Because, obviously, you can do it. Oh, no, I blame them all. I'm amazing. It's entirely...

It's absolutely not my fault. I blame them all. See'm amazing. It's entirely, it's absolutely not my fault. I blame them all. See, if you just were a bit better, we would have carried on getting through. And when they get disappointed, they got voted off. I said, well, it's entirely your own fault. And, but no, I'm joking. I, no, I don't blame anyone.

What I do, because to be honest with you, it doesn't matter if you're good, bad or indifferent. Anybody can go at any time. So you can't, there's no, there's no judging it. And there's no, there's no resting on your laurels. because it doesn't matter if you're good bad or indifferent anybody can go at any time so you can't there's no there's no judging it and there's no uh there's no resting on your laurels you've just got to do the best you can but my sort of personal motto to myself is that i want the partner i dance with to have the best possible time and love the experience i would be mortified if if a partner of mine said to somebody afterwards do you know i really didn't enjoy that experience very much that wasn't really i was really hoping oh i didn't want i'm really

oh i wish i hadn't done it i'd be mortified about that because there's so much fun to be had on the show um and such a wonderful experience to be able to do the show because you only get to do it once as a celebrity and and you know you won't have a great time doing it yeah in a way i guess it's actually a bit nerve-wracking for you because you they only get one shot at it so you it's almost like the pressure's on you to make it this amazing experience isn't it yeah and so I've got you know although we you know try and have a bit of fun and and all these sort of things there is there is sort of an underlying sort of professional uh i mean it's not one of these things you just throw together and it's not you know one of these things you just hope for the best it's actually worked

out and choreographed and scripted by me the costumes the the idea the concept the choreography the reaction so it's a real i put it together like I'd be putting together a piece of theatre. Yes, I was going to say, it's like a show, isn't it? It's like a very long running show. Well, it's a minute and a half show every week. I'm trying to put a theatre number in a minute and a half together for my partner. Because, you know, all these things, 10,000 hours of practice, you know, even the best comedians, it's not the first time they've ever told that gag. It's only funny because they've worked and worked and worked it. And all these things only work because you practice and practice and practice.

Which is the lesson I'm always trying to teach my children, Anton. Yeah, you've got to work these things. Now, in terms of the planning and the prep, do you pick the songs? How do the songs get chosen? Because I'm fascinated by that bit yeah there is a there's a music team there now i've been fortunate enough to have done the series from the beginning so i've danced to a lot of songs and so sometimes i'll come up with an idea for a song and they go you can't you one i've probably used it or two can't use it, maybe somebody else is using it or something like that.

And so I say to them, all right, well, this is the sort of song I want, go and find me something that's a bit similar to this or this ilk, because I don't have an extensive library in my mind and I haven't got time to troll through Spotify to pick a tune. And I've got lots of stuff on Shazam, for example,

where I hear a song and I just sort of Shazam it and I keep it for reference later. Oh, what was that song? Oh, let's have a go with this. So from that perspective, it's brilliant.

So they, they come up with, or they go, we'd like you to consider this for your Paso Doble. Like last year with Emma, I used the Miley Cyrus song for Paso Doble. Now I wouldn't have come up with that personally. That's why I'm intrigued by it.

Because sometimes the choices are so clever. Yeah. And sometimes they're one's own. And sometimes they get suggested to you by production. And I'm pretty good at having an open mind about stuff. Because I realise I'm not doing it for me so you know I might hate the song but it might be a really popular song so I have to think well who are you doing this for you're not doing it for yourself you're not sitting in your car listening

to a song I'm doing this as a performance number for an audience who actually as it turns out like this song so you try and use this song so song. So I'm pretty good like that. It must be hard. Say again, sorry? If you have a song, it must be hard because you must have to listen to it about 42 billion times in the run-up to it. In actual fact, 43 billion times.

Every song you ever use on Strictly Come Dancing you invariably end up hating, especially the beginning of it because you've listened to it a trillion times. The thing is, there is a trillion times the thing is you there is a certain pressure there is a certain pressure that comes from dancing to the music so when you're dancing with your partner you're marking it through or you're going over the steps and you don't have the music on and you start plowing through the number and you're going

through it going through to counts five six seven and a one two three four two two three oh i'm already jigging around my room now keep going and you do it like that and you go okay that feels good all right let's try that to music you put music on as soon as the music comes on you get this sort of added level of pressure and anxiety that comes from the music because the music is it's strident and it pushes on relentlessly. And it's very difficult. So you have to continue. You have to just keep doing it to the music because it has to become sort of second nature.

I was going to ask you next. I was going to say now that you've all witted on each other for a little bit and you've got an idea of us, which dances would you do with us? But I think mine would just have to be the really slow one with no music otherwise you'd end up with no big clothes I think what I'd like to do with you is I'd like to do a number something like that but I think I'd like to have some lifts in it oh I think it would I think it would be potentially easier to keep you off the floor for a longer period of time. And thus being able to perform a better number because of it. I think that would be a way forward with you, I think.

But, you know, that remains to be seen. When we get into the studio together, I'll get a better idea. OK, it's a date. Please let this happen. Please. I might cry in a minute out of desperation for this. Now, when it comes to your dancing, you're really known as Erin's partner. Now, I need to ask you a question about this because I worry about this late at night.

When you have people who are famous for having a partner like Torval and Dean or you and Erin, right? But then you've also got a wife. Yes. How does that work? Do they like each other do they do they chat together about you do they hang out without you like how does the triangle of it all work the triangle work well it's funny actually I've been dancing with Erin for about 23 years um and Erin did an interview once and she said to somebody, somebody said, how have you made this partnership work so successfully for so long? She said, very simple, she said, marry somebody else. And I thought that was hilarious, but absolutely vital, I think.

I mean, Hannah and Erin have a tremendous relationship and they have a they have a uh a wonderful relationship and that and that's great and uh erin's got a six-year-old ewan a lovely a lovely boy and so you know it's super we have play dates and and and all that sort of stuff with the children so it's it's sort of lovely and erin lives uh not too far away from us uh well as the crow flies but traffic be a nightmare but so you know we have um we have uh we have some play dates and things like that but you know as i don't see unless we're we're on tour or doing a show and during this lockdown period we haven't had we haven't seen each other for ages but uh since march in actual fact but yeah it's it's a lovely situation which is great really for everybody i can't imagine what it'd be like if it was a lovely situation, which is great, really, for everybody. I can't imagine what it would be like if it was a disaster.

Oh, heavens above. I know. What would you do? Well, I was thinking it would make a really good plot for a novel. Like the dance pair and then the wife doesn't like her and then someone kills someone. It could get really good, couldn't it? Oh, hello. There's a thought in there.

I might have a go at that. I think I can knock something up. I was going to say, Anton, what people might not know is that you do write books and you've got a new one coming out, haven't you? So other than the new murder mystery that you're about to write, tell us about your book and also about the career highlight when you won rear of the year in 2011 come on 11 rear of the year or as len goodman described me arse of the decade i um was delighted to win that title because it's something i for the amount of squats i've done in my life i feel like like I deserve it. Do you get a trophy?

Yeah, I got a small trophy, which was obviously a bust. Is it round shaped? Of my own bottom. Oh, my word. Tell me it's in the toilet. Tell me you've put it in the loo. Oh, downstairs loo, yeah. I mean, you know, it's something to look at.

But did you have to go and be inspected for this or do they just grant it willy-nilly i was definitely prodded and um i can't say it was unpleasant but it was uh it was the world of a celebrity is such a strange one honestly and i remember having a pair of lycra jeans handed to me as well, which I thought was rather fabulous. Oh, wow. God. The Lycra jeans, tremendous. I love Lycra, I won't deny.

Well, you should be sponsored by Lycra, really, shouldn't you? If I can get a Lycra seam in something I'm popping on, I'm over the moon. And a sequin? Oh, always a sequin. If I can, on a special special occasion I like to pop on something sparkly I think everyone should

so come on then tell us about this book then what can we expect I've got a new one coming out in the end of October beginning of November

just the end of October called A Christmas to Remember and it's a continuation of the story really from this is the third one in yes

of the novels that I've written uh the first one was one enchanted evening which would i'd like to say was a sunday times best selling uh we wouldn't expect anything less from you and lovely of you to say and uh the second one moonlight over mayfair was um nominated for a uh romantic novel of of the Year award, which I was delighted about that as well. I mean, that was a lovely thing. So it's a historical novel because it's set in 1930,

well, it's sort of 1938 now, just coming into the Second World War. And it's set in and around the Buckingham Hotel, a glamorous, fabulous, opulent hotel set in Mayfair. I like the sound of it already, yeah. With an incredible ballroom called The Grand, The Grand Ballroom,

and our illustrious hero, Raymond De Guise, who's the demonstration dancer at the Buckingham Hotel with his fabulous partner, Helen Marchmont, who's glorious and glamorous and off the front covers of Tatler and Vogent and uh and with the Archie Adams Orchestra as well it just oozes gorgeousness and sophistication and glamour and and all the wonderful duchesses and dukes and royals and all that are all frequenting the ballroom there at the at the Buckingham Hotel but of course as is with all these things it's a sort of tales

of upstairs and downstairs essentially but not only of the building but also of the people I mean everybody's got a I always think of each person having a sort of an upstairs and downstairs the upstairs is the bit that's on show to everybody but the downstairs is the bit that their secret story they keep to themselves and it's all there's intrigue and and it's it's i'm really delighted with the way they've come out and this new one as is always with these things you know the latest one is always your favorite and i love love love the way this the christmas to remember has come out and And as I say, we're getting ever closer to the outbreak of the Second World War and all the sort of things that are going on around it. I think of your books as like dancing Downton Abbey.

Yes, perfect. Exactly that. Who was it who said that it's like Downton Abbey with dancing? And you're absolutely right. And it's that sort of feel. It's what we're going to need this Christmas because it's all looking a bit weird but this could make it all a bit more wonderful don't you think well I think so but then I would say that of course I love Christmas which is one of the reasons why I've called it a Christmas to remember I love the sense of the

glamour I like to feel with the book that you sort of open the pages of the book and sort of step into it that's what we need we need to escape a bit don't we that's how I feel with the book that you sort of open the pages of the book and sort of step into it that's what we need we need to escape a bit don't that's how I feel about the book um I don't feel like you're just sort of reading the words I feel like you're you're in in there sat in the palm court there having afternoon tea watching it all go by in front of you and it's it's a lovely there's a lovely feel about it which is the thing I'm you and it's it's a lovely there's a lovely feel about it which is the thing i'm most delighted about because that's the thing i wanted to get most out of it you're going to save christmas anton strictly in your book that's it that's all you

need i think you need a novel of mine i might just block out the world and watch strictly read the book and tell everyone else to sod off and have have a gin. And have a gin. I think that's what I'm going to do this Christmas. So on to our final question, Anton. We always ask our guests this each week. Please, will you sing us your family lullaby? What's the song you always sing to your little ones when they won't sleep or they're a bit sad? Aww.

Is that it? What do I sing? Aww. What do i sing um if they asked me i could write a book about the way you walk and whispered and look I could write a premise on how we met that the world

would never forget Oh we love you I actually can't speak now I might retire I'm going to retire, I've hit peak I can't speak now. I might retire. I'm going to retire. I've hit peak.

I can't get any better than this. Anton, thank you so much for coming on Sweat, Snot and Tears today. I think we should rename it as just Heaven with Anton. Oh, yeah. Do you see what's happened? I've actually fallen in love with both of you. I can't help myself. Well, and we're in love with you.

Where shall we meet? Let's all run off together. Let's go. Well, thanks. Well, that's fine. I'm there. I'm in. No worries.

I'm in. All right. Well, best of luck with Strictly and with the book. And we will be thinking of you all Christmas long. Thank you, Anton. Thank you very much. And it's been a delight. And you're wonderful.

Thank you, Manon. Bye.