The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep76: Double Trouble with Tim Vincent

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Listen as TV's Tim Vincent explains to Annie and Wendy the tricky task of being dad to his twin boys Jasper and Felix, and tells them all about the new series of 'The Likely Dads'.

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary and I'm Wendy College and together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments with guests who are far more interesting than we are. On this week's show... Well it's moments of boredom interspersed with moments of fear. You know if you go to the park now they obviously are independent, they're personalities. And this has been the case for at least a year now. You get them out of the pram and they will go in different directions. And you have a few seconds to work out which one you're going to run after and rugby tackle the other one to follow the other one to make sure you stay as a pack.

But before all of that, welcome to another glorious episode of Sweat, Snot and Tears. Normally I share a bit about myself at this point but Wendy has far more interesting tales to tell. They are not in order of priority. She's going on holiday next week but because of Covid she's kind of forgotten how to go on holiday so everything's falling apart. but also this morning a bird could be heard being stuck in wendy's chimney and we think it's still stuck there we don't know what to do by the time any of you hear this the situation will have resolved but right now we could actually deal or do with some help in order to how to free the thing wendy give us an update. What's happening? There's flapping. There's soot. The dog is barking at the chimney and up the chimney. I have called a chimney sweep to my aid. He's going to try and come over before he goes to the pub tonight. The thing is, if the noise

stops, I don't know whether that's a good thing or a really sad thing. Do you know what I mean? It might be a good thing for me and a bad thing for the bird. I'm not sure. Let's introduce the guest. He might have an idea. I was going to say, let's ask today's guest because I think he'll have an answer. I don't know why. Well, I was going to say anyone who's a dad of twins and has been on Blue Peter bloody well better know how to deal with anything. Tim Vincent welcome Well hello first of all I feel like I'm in a 1980s Benny Hill episode at the moment There's been far too much mention of flappings and chimneys being filled

And men coming round before they go to the pub It's like, I don't know, it's like some 80s sitcom But yeah I also, apart from Blue Peter I played a vet for a year in Emmerdale. So if the bird does collapse in front of you, I can tell you if it's dead or not from looking at it. OK, well, that's good. Sorry to just make it all about me, but I'm just going to for a minute. My friend was in Emmerdale. Might you know her?

Her name's Helena. Could you be Helena? Is she in it now? She's not in it now. Helena Calvert. She was such a big part that sometimes when we're in Tesco, people say things to her. Not a good person to go shoplifting with. No, not a good person to go shoplifting with.

I do that mainly with Wendy. Moving away, I want to talk to you, Tim, because some of our listeners are young, sprightly things with young, sprightly children who might really not know your checkered past. Now, I remember you on blue peter but for those of our listeners who are like wondering the significance of the blue peter years tell us take us back back in the day how'd you end up on blue peter and what have you done since then first of all checkered alludes that there's been some dodgy activity in my previous CV,

which I'd like to, but no, there hasn't. And I'd like to, you know, quash that absolutely right now. Before any more flapping happens, there's nothing dodgy. Yeah, so Blue Peter, I did back in 93. So quite a few years ago, I'm about to turn 50. And at that point, it was basically the one show on BBC, BBC One, same time slot, same kind of principal magazine show. And before that, I did six years as an actor in a Russell T. Davis drama called Children's Ward. And then in between that closed show and primarily, but not exclusively for the last 20 years i've been working for mbc in america uh which entailed four years living in new york and uh six months here and there in l.a but i

basically do stuff for them over here so is is that as glamorous as it sounds being involved in american tv is it more glamorous than british tv uh yeah no it can be you know um i've done can about eight times for them venice film festival the oscars so yeah it is glamorous but you're only changing the subject matter not you waiting around for six hours uh for somebody to come and give you five minutes of their time to promote themselves so there are occasions where you go you know but saying that as i'm from wrexham as my mom always says it's better than working down the pit very true now cut to the chase you have two and a half year old twins that's right isn't it uh three well three and a

half now yeah four in october three and a half oh my goodness tell us about it because seriously wendy and i are on our knees with two differently aged children i can only imagine how old are your children uh mine are ten and eight when's ten and six that's right so they're gonna love it when they come home with the the uh the bird up your chimney. Well, Grace wants to be a vet. So she will be giving said pigeon mouth to mouth in a heartbeat. I don't suppose she'll actually keep it alive. She's definitely not ready to be a vet yet.

Yeah, we don't need vets really, do we? We want chimney sweeps. A Victorian boy in a brush deterrent harry he's coming around before he goes to the pub yes exactly uh yeah so i've got three and a half year old twins who would be fascinated with your uh flapping and all the activity they're really they're just coming into that period where they're still super cute they still want to be i call them the pickup twins because whenever they come up to you they go pick up or you pick them up and you know but they're getting people now who obviously have seen them from day one go oh they're getting bigger and i always go yes and heavier you know because they are really starting to be a solid weight um but they're very very at that cute

period now where well they've always been cute but a lot of people you know you walk down the street that don't know you just go ah and then they say enjoy this period and I think what is going to happen and their head's going to start spinning around when they get to four and then just hate having cuddles which I hope not so ah oh god I don't know where to start with twins you must have developed a million dad tricks along the way to just stay vaguely sane with twins. Because three year olds are hard, bloody work. Well, it's moments of boredom interspersed with moments of fear, you know, because, you know, if you go to the park now, they obviously are independent.

They're personalities. And this has been the case for at least a year now. You get them out the pram and they will go in different directions and you have a few seconds to work out which one you're going to run after and rugby tackle the other one to follow the other one to make sure you stay as a pack it's akin to a hit workout constantly certainly keeps you on your toes and for somebody that's about to turn 50 it's definitely a way to keep you fit can only imagine is there always one that is is there a ringleader amongst the pair um ringly you hear a lot about people who've got twins that they say they work as a pack you know and they go and do certain things and they will certainly they they uh misappropriate

i had one everybody has them you know there's fortnum and mason uh hampers which everybody like casually has around the house i had one of those and i thought this would be really casual to have as a toy chest with all the toys in and about three or four months ago they pulled it out of the the nursery brought it down the corridor and i couldn't understand why all the lights were going off i thought i was having a stroke but they were they used that to get up to turn all the lights off on the one switch so that they could use their torch properly and i thought that's when they're working as a team but they're not ringleaders in in the such that one's quite independent and he if i'm talking to my mum like i'm talking to you know on zoom he'll be in the background going past on a little uh

swivel um wobble bike, just zooming past. And the other one, Jasper, will be sitting with me, interacting with my mum. So they have very different personalities. But I wouldn't say one's more of a ringleader than the other. They're just different in different ways. But they're identical, aren't they? So have they learned?

They're non-identical. But if you do that and nod your head quickly, you couldn't tell the difference. They're very, even my mum, if they're in the bath and I take a picture and all their hairs slick back, they look very similar. But standing next to each other, you can tell instantly. So they can't quite pull the, you know, no, no, no, it wasn't me, it was him card because they don't look exactly alike.

Although I do do that thing, and I don't know if it's an age thing, where, you know, when you're grasping for something, you go, can you pass me the pen, the pencil, the paper? And I'll go, Jasper, Felix, Jasper, you know, because they're zooming in and out, and you can't quite claim the names straight away. Oh, Christ, I do that with mine, and there's four years between them. Don't worry about that. They get called, you call grace chloe hector is it the dog is

it a human who that's just you're not currently in a relationship with their mum are you so how does it work in time in terms of the co-parenting i always i'm fascinated by how people negotiate and manage this it must be difficult but also very satisfying when you get it right. Yeah. And we just balance it out as best as you can. And obviously, children just kind of take over the situation, don't they? Because, you know, they need to be looked after and do things. And the tendency early on that you could be a bit of a jester dad that when you have them you're always entertaining them rather than just having quiet time and you're doing stuff and but you kind of

get they get used to a rhythm and now that when they come over daddy sometimes has to work and do bits and pieces so it's a balancing act and I think now because they're a bit older you can reason with them about things yeah a bit of reason always helps they can completely ignore you but at least you've reasoned with them you understand that they've understood before they refuse to do it that's so true that's so true and you've also started a new um podcast comedy show called the likely dads haven't you where you kind of chat and hang out and have jokes with other dads about what it's like to be a dad tell us about it it. It's the second series on Radio 4, and we've been doing it for over a year now,

and then it goes on to BBC Sounds as a podcast. And yeah, so it's basically everybody always thinks it could be like a misogynistic woman hating, this is all men standing together, throwing their spears and trying to be Vikings. But in reality, it's the complete opposite where we all take the mick out of each other completely and one person will volunteer something really gentle

and they go, ah, loser, you've shown an emotion. So we kind of go the other way and it's me hosting it and then we have two regular team captains. I say team captains, but two regular comedians. And then we have revolving guests on so this time we've got johnny vegas we have lots of fun different people on that i've always got a slightly different perspective of being a dad and it's always quite endearing really because guys are much more soppy than you'd think that they are yeah particularly when

they're talking about their kids so So who's in your dad gang? Imagine you're having a mini dad crisis, like something's happened. Who's your dad on speed dial who's going to help you sort it out? My mum. Oh, I like that. That's good. That's a point of reference would always be my mum. Google. And then I've actually got a very good friend, Linda, That's a point of reference would always be my mum, Google.

And then I've actually got a very good friend, Linda, who's a mum. You know, one of those people that, you know, would be slicing bread, chops a finger off, throws it to the dogs and carries on. She's very practical about stuff. So I'd always go, do I need to be worried about this? And she'd be very good about that, you know, kind of stuff. But in this day and age, there's anybody you can reach out to really how did um likely dad's come to be then were you just sitting around in the pub one day thinking talking to a dad and you decided there's a podcast in this

i was well i was talking to uh a dad who as a producer who um i was doing a voiceover for something about blue peter actually a voiceover for something about Blue Peter, actually, a voiceover for Radio 2. He was producing it. And we were just talking about, it shows you how long ago it was, we were talking about being dads and that sometimes it's overlooked, you know, that you're the great unknown, really, and not addressed in the same way as everybody else is quite vocal.

And actually, I mentioned, I said, mother care. can you imagine starting a company now and calling it father care you know you'd be so up in arms about it and we just accept it as mother care and of course you know uh my bad vibes i put out into the industry bankrupted the whole multinational company so that's no longer an issue for us to talk about but that's where it came from and uh kirk was very good at just coming up with a few ideas and works in comedy and we got some we did a pilot for radio 4 which they loved and then it just became a series and we always try and do it slightly different each guest always brings something different to that to what we're talking about who's been your favorite who um we've had all kinds of different i think

uh johnny vegas was interesting because you wouldn't think that johnny vegas is a dad for a start but he's actually got two yeah i don't think of him as a dad that's interesting yeah and he's got uh and he's in the new series he's got two children uh different mothers not with either um live they live separately like geographically i think there's a couple hundred miles different so he has to do the balancing act but he's a really dedicated dad and he loves it um but then he'll say things like that when one of his sons was younger, you know, he used to do quite complex. I've never got into Lego, but a complex Lego constructions. And the son would take it apart and he'd get really miffed about it.

So he'd super glue it all together. So, you know, so there was a competitive edge. That's what they do in the Lego movie. Is it? Oh, there you go. Just wait. Your Lego time will come. Now, talk to us about dads you admire other than other than

obviously johnny vegas who've just spoken about because he was on your show are there any kind of dads out there in the wider world where you think yeah that's who i'm trying to be that's who i'm aiming to be um i tell you it's a great level of being a parent for anybody. And the entertainment show I work for access Hollywood. Um, you interview all the big, whoever's got a big movie out, then you do it. And I remember a few years ago, um, it was in New York and I was interviewing Bruce Willis and it had been had heavy, heavy snow. Um, but he'd managed, he's really lovely guy, Bruce Willis, and it had been heavy, heavy snow, but he'd managed, he's a really lovely guy, Bruce Willis.

I think he's just a fantastic interviewer, and he's got a really good dry sense of humour. And he'd split from Demi Moore, but he was in New York, and there was heavy, heavy snow, and he managed to get there for the interview to promote the film, and, you know, when the cameras were being broken down, and it was beautiful in New York, it was just like a blanket of snow, and I could see him, like, getting when the cameras were being broken down and it was beautiful, it was just like blanket snow. And I and I could see him like getting on the phone and said, oh, what are you doing next?

Thinking he was going on the Letterman show or something like that. And he said, I'm just about to meet my kids because we're going to Central Park to go sledging. And I thought, you know, that's a movie star. And he was more excited about, you know, getting out of there, getting out of the Waldorf Astoria and and getting off down to the park with some sledges just to go, you know. And I thought, that's a real dad, you know, that he just wants, not about being seen or, you know, them getting A-levels or becoming a doctor to make them proud. He just wanted to go out and have some fun.

It's a really good kind of thing to latch on to, actually, isn't it? You're completely right that it's it should just be about the moments not about like their exam results or it's quite a hard thing to remember that isn't it yeah well but we also had on um tom holland you know spider-man yes his dad dominic holland is one of the i've got that right yeah it's dominic holland uh was on one of the recent episodes that's about to wear and that's really interesting having somebody that's an established writer comedian naming his own right and has done the circuit and then his son comes along and becomes spider-man and totally eclipses him basically yeah and it's really interesting to

see you know a dad's take on that. And he just says, you know what, I'm incredibly, incredibly proud of all my sons. And he said, I always wanted to be, you know, a script writer in Hollywood. And he said, I'm going to do off the back of my son now, you know, and he's made a joke about it. But you could see there's absolutely no regret or envy in that. You know's just that your your dna is doing well and you can't be prouder than them that's really lovely do you ever get starstruck anymore do you ever get like oh my god it's so and so are you just a bit blasé about the whole thing now the thing is you're interviewing them and you can do an interview and it'll be bland and then you'll

be out of a job you know you've got to have some kind of energy with these things so you've always got to push the envelope a little bit you're not going to go so madonna um 18 children with 19 different people you haven't paid your tax for the last 15 years to get reaction but you want to have a bit of fun so you're always slightly i'm here for a But yeah, sometimes you go, that's just incredible. I've just been sitting with Angelina Jolie having a coffee or The Rock mucking around, kicking a football between tapes and stuff, you know. I think I'd get starstruck by The Rock. I quite like The Rock.

Yeah, yeah. A lot of these people, though, that, you know, it's not by accident they become so massively famous. It's because they work incredibly hard, you know,. They're doing junkets for 24 hours a day and promoting stuff. The first time I interviewed Robert De Niro was quite a moment for me because I was a huge fan of, or still are, of Robert De Niro.

But if you ever notice when Robert De Niro is interviewed, as a rule, if you look at him being interviewed, he will never be interviewed on his own there'll always be a two-shot of him and somebody and that is because he's not the easiest of interviewees he's a very very nice guy and i interviewed a lot of famous people who i won't mention who are deliberately difficult when you interview them and they know how to muck around by still looking polite he's not like that he's just somebody that if you asked him a question that isn't a specific question he'll

just give you a yes or no answer so you have to be sharp and i've been told this before i interviewed him for the very very first time in new york um and they said you've got to really work your questions out so that he can't just go yeah no. And the reason that I was interviewing him was for the at the time, I think it was 25 years anniversary of Raging Bull, which is a very famous seminal film. And the story behind that is that he was keen to make this film. And Scorsese, the director who we'd already worked with on lots of these new york gangster films or one or two of them didn't want to make he said i don't want to make a boxing film so robert de niro persevered with him and had the the the script or the the book though that was

based off in the back of his pocket and scorsese ended up in hospital and robert de niro went to visit him and gave him he said just read this because I think this is such a great story that we could make about this boxer. Anyway, he read it. He loved it. They agreed to do it. Robert De Niro had this famous weight gain of 25 pounds to show that he was a boxer, and then he put the weight on, and all this stuff. And then it won, I think, three Oscars,

because it was such an amazing film. So fast forward 25 years later, I'm sitting down with Robert De Niro and Martin Scorsese sitting next to each other for the first time. And I thought, I've got the best question ever. It's this is, you know, and I've only got like 10 minutes. So let's make this count. And my first question was, Robert, what did you feel like when you were standing on the podium at the Oscars, clutching your three Oscars for a film that was so close

to your heart, you know, after all the story I've just told you. And he just looked at me and went, oh my God. And what happens? Martin Scorsese looks at him and goes, and then gives you a full, proper answer. You think, thank God Martin Scorsese's here. That's so funny. So what's the rest of the week got in store have you got the kids this weekend have you got like full toddler mayhem i'm uh picking the boys a bit four it's four it's a very sunny day so we'll probably go to the park for a bit then we will come back and have some peanut butter on pancakes and we will watch highway rat for the 29th time this week and and then we'll see

actually you know the world's our oyster we we rock and roll in different directions we've just answered annie's next question yeah i was gonna say what's for tea and who's cooking are peanut butter pancakes a hot favorite in your house um they are they're always the go-to it's a bit of energy it's a little bit of a tree, but it's not too bad. But for dinner, probably some cheesy pasta, and Jasper likes olives and Felix doesn't, but there's great drama and excitement

and a daddy moment. Two days ago, I've got a courtyard behind me and I've got some olive trees in it, and only in the last couple of months uh jasper's begun i want uh olives in my pasta daddy and i go okay felix says i don't want them and it's that you know they're having their own right to say what they want and i go daddy has olive trees in his courtyard so they're really fascinated that they can compute that this olive is on the tree and they keep going where are the olives i said it's not the time and the other day they came running going there's olives on the tree and there was these

tiny tiny olives so i had to pick them up and had to look at them so um the olives at some point will be used in the dinner maybe in a couple of months there's all sorts of shiz that needs to go on you can't just take them off the tree leave leave them. No. Trust me, I've tried it. It's rank. Really? Why not? Oh, you have to like brine them and soak them. Basically, they are foul.

They're horrid when they come off the tree. We need Gino De Campo back on. But basically, you just – I never got around to doing it. Mine all died on the tree because it was just too much like hard work. But you have to do a load of like, they get put in brine and then they get drained and then they get soaked in something else. You don't just eat them off the tree. So you're going to have to lie to them, Tim. Buy some from Tesco and put them on the tree.

Right. So, Tim, I promise we're not picking on you. We ask everyone the same question last. And it is, please, imagine that Wendy and I are the twins. You're tucking us into bed and we want you to sing us a song. What is your go to bedtime lullaby? And please will you sing it for us? I haven't done panto for about 10 years, but I used to do panto. And I used to back in the day when I was a lot thinner and more hair, I used to always be the prince and I could never sing even then. And they always used to say, listen, we'll just get you singing, especially to you, which was, you know, the Jason Donovan song to whichever unfortunate female actress celebrity was

opposite me. And every year there was a mexican wave of titters so i'm not going to i'm not going to be able to sing but if i was going to sing i would probably sing jasper's is uh the wheels on the bus and uh felix's twinkle twinkle little star we might just forgive you just yeah and i think the reason i'm going to forgive you for not singing is because you're a dad of twins and they've chosen different songs and that is hard enough as it is wouldn't you agree wend indeed but they never asked me to sing it they just say can you put on youtube see my kids ask for their dad because i can't sing either. Wait till they get home with your flapping bird. Oh, yeah. Wend, any more flapping

while we've been talking? No, it's all gone quiet. Tim has obviously lulled this bird. Or it's died. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about, Wend, because then no, I don't want to panic you, but then we're going to have a smell, aren't we? Well, I'm holding out high hopes for Harry. When you come back from your holiday. Oh, God,

no. Who's got Hector? Wend, who's got Hector when you're on holiday? Oh, a lady called Anna. Is Anna coming to you or is Hector going to Anna? No, he's going to her. But everyone who listens to this podcast regularly will find this funny. She's 79. She got the measure of me quite quickly.

And we were looking around her house and seeing where the dog would sleep and blah, blah, blah. And as we left, she said, well, they'll hear you coming in Florida, won't they? It's like, oh, OK, then. Thank you very much. But I figure when you get to 79, you can say what the hell you like, can't you? I suppose, yeah. She needs to bring Hector round then in case he needs to help with the bird disposal, maybe. No, there's none of that going to be going on.

She's just going to feed him treats and make him fat. Right. Mr. Tim Vincent, thank you so much for being a brilliant guest. My pleasure. Lovely to meet you. And sharing the insights on dad Twin Life. You make it sound pretty easy, actually, and pretty lovely. Yes. Well, it isn't

and I'm sorry that I did because it isn't. So anyone listening, don't go and have twins. No, don't say that because then we'll get loads of complaints that we've been twin-ist. Oh, I'm only kidding. I'm only kidding. I'm only kidding. Go and enjoy making your peanut butter pancakes. All right. Thank you for the Brian tip.

Take care. Bye.