The Netmums Podcast - S1 Ep9: Gemma Atkinson on complex births and what it’s really like being the partner of a Strictly pro.

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

Gemma Atkinson, actress and radio host, shares her birth story and what it’s really like being the partner of a Strictly pro.

You're listening to Sweat, Snot and Tears, brought to you by Netmums. I'm Annie O'Leary. And I'm Wendy Gollage. And together we talk about all of this week's sweaty, snotty and tearful parenting moments. With guests who are far more interesting than we are. Good morning, mums and dads. It's Sweat, Snot and Tears time. I'm in mega sweat mode. We booked to go away for half term that's coming up,

but local lockdowns are making it look less and less likely. People, I need a break. Wendy, are dripping in sweats not tears today? Today it's all about the tears because my littlest didn't want to go to school because she hasn't quite understood that you have to go every single day and so she was all sad and didn't want to leave. So tears and soggy wet dogs because it's raining and horrible. Oh, yeah, it is pretty grim. But enough about us. It's time we checked in with today's guest to see whether she's in a puddle of sweat, snot or tears of her own. Gemma Atkinson, you're very welcome.

Which is it in your house today, sweat, snot or tears? Thank you for having me. It was tears last night and this morning it's well and truly snot. Oh no, why the tears and why the snot? Well, we've just moved house and my daughter Mia, she was one in July. She's kind of not liking a new bedroom, even though we've made it as similar to the old one as possible with the decorations and obviously it's her old furniture and everything in there these babies are smart and she's like mum I know this ain't my real room yet so I'm going to kick off every single night

um and then snot this morning uh was the whole the usual carry them and they kind of wipe their nose on your shoulder every time they get opportunities to don't they oh yes that lovely slime trail now your daughter is now a toddlerma, something lovingly referred to as the cold face of parenting. Hats off to you. They're just nightmares. How are you coping with a toddler and COVID and moving house? I'd like to say a bath with a gin and tonic, but it hasn't happened yet. No, do you know what? It's funny. My sister has three children and they're all adults now.

The youngest is 17. And she said, like, I asked her for lots of advice and she said, oh, the babies are beautiful. She said, when you get around 15 months to like four or five, she said, it's kind of like having a feral animal in your house. And she was right. She was absolutely right. She's going through a phase of emptying my washing basket whenever it's full. So I'll come upstairs and the clothes are everywhere. She's figured out how to open all the drawers, so pots and pans and things like that.

It's kind of like I need eyes in every kind of part of my body, my back, my back of my thighs, the front of my thighs, eye level. I need them everywhere. Sounds very familiar. How old are your sons and daughters wendy and i both have nine-year-olds who were born just like about two hours apart and then i have a six-year-old and i've got a five-year-old who is like some sort of maniac forced to be reckoned with my youngest child and I have no one but myself to blame for that. Is she like you or is she like gawks?

Is she kind of like, who's she most like? She's kind of like me in that she's fearless with everything. She doesn't realise if she just walks off the couch, she's likely to fall. But fearlessness is quite a nice quality, isn't it? Because it means she's brave and confident. I do love that about her, isn't it? Because it means she'll be brave and confident. I do love that about her, that she just goes through, you know, she'll try anything and, you know, we're lucky with food and stuff,

she'll try anything. Again, like me, she's a bit greedy. But she's definitely, you can tell she's half Spanish with that, the whole, I always say to Gorka, you're Spanish, you're a bit stubborn, aren't you, sometimes? And she does like, she doesn't want something, she'll frown and, and you know she's got the Spanish little feistiness about her which is obviously from Gorka not you know I'm from sunny old Berry in Manchester not Spain so it's definitely not from me and erasing her to be bilingual does Gork speak Spanish to her yes he'll only speak to her in Spanish he doesn't speak to her in English at all and um you know I'm jealous I wish I'd been raised with another language it's so cool I always think you're guaranteed a job

if you can you know if you're bilingual and Gorka speaks he's Spanish he speaks Spanish his mum's Portuguese so he speaks Portuguese and he understands Italian so it kind of puts me to shame in that I can I can get by in Spanish I understand it more than I can speak it but he's adamant he wants Mia because his family don't speak English so he said in order for Mia to communicate with them she has to speak Spanish so he you know he's good and she does understand bits already she's great with it she really is it's so good for her though she'll be able to battle on in Spanish and then come back to you in English it'll be brilliant I know I need to learn it because they'll be slagging me off otherwise won't they and I'll just be there smiling away unaware

have you felt like during Covid it's been isolating having a toddler at home and not being able to do as much as you would normally do with a toddler I've kind of had bits of up and downs in lockdown I've loved the fact that Gorka's been home because he had to go away when Mia was three days old. He went on tour. So I was on my own with Mia for the first three, four months of her life, really. My mum was great. She's retired. So she was with me, which was fantastic. So I love the fact that in lockdown, Gorka was around. But the sad bit for me is Mia, she went to two baby sensory classes, obviously before COVID, and she loved them.

Like she was so excited to be there. She loves other babies. And then that stopped now. And she has become quite clingy. And I worry is that because, well, it is because of lockdown, because all she's seen is me, her dad and her nana and granddad. And we went out for a coffee the other day and there was other babies in there. And normally she'd be kind of all smiley and pointing at them. But she did that thing where she just kind of sat on me and snuggled her head into my shoulders.

And I thought, oh, gosh, because I don't want her to be like that. I want her to be how she was you know naturally with them but I think it's the same with a lot of parents you know the children they must become clingier because all they've known is the parents at home for the last six seven months yeah I think the ripple effect of Covid and the lockdown is going to reach so many kind of little corners of everybody's lives isn't it like yeah we all think about the life and death stuff obviously because that's the most important but the knock-ons like might change a whole generation it's so bonkers isn't it yeah I mean I'm lucky in a way that I think me as she's well she is too young to remember any of this I'm also lucky that there was no

homeschooling my best friend's been homeschooling two kids. Yes, you are lucky. It was bloody awful, Gemma. It was bloody terrible. She said, I've been going through a bottle of wine every week. She said every Friday, I'm not just like a lass. She said, I'm literally drinking a bottle of wine every Friday. Once I did my homeschooling, she said I was working as well. She was working from home and homeschooling. A partner still had to go to work. He was a key worker, and she just said it was the worst thing she'd ever done. It was awful. I would have done a bottle of gin a week, let alone a bottle of wine. That's a separate issue, End.

We'll talk about that separately, all right? Now, Gemma, you posted quite a lot on social saying that exercise was the thing that was keeping you sane and knocked down. I know, obviously, you've got your exercise brand stronger. Talk to us a bit about how exercise works for you and how you fit it in around having a child as well. Yeah, I mean, for me, everyone has their go-to to make themselves feel better. For some, it's like, say, a gin or a nice walk or whatever.

But for me, exercise, for the last 10 years of my life at least has been my kind of release really, just for making myself feel better. I love a good sweat. And when I found out I was pregnant, something clicked that I wanted to do that even more so because I just wanted to give myself and my body the best chance possible to be here for Mia. Yeah.

And I always use my granddad as an example. He passed away when I was, like, I think 15. But for the last, like, six years of his life, he was in a wheelchair. He had his leg amputated. He couldn't speak. And it was because he smoked so much he didn't take care of himself. You know, I look at other grandpas now who are still running around like Mia's granddad Peter he's running around the garden with her he's nearly 70 but he's so fit and active with her

and it just dawned on me that's the type of grandparent I want to be you know for me as children and because I did breakfast radio for so long um half past five for me is a lying I've got to say I don't know how you did that yeah that's hardcore Gemma that is hardcore well you know you say that but it's kind of it sounds rock and rollish but I was in bed every night for like nine o'clock I was in bed at nine up at four so I am you know I was getting my seven hours and we had to be in the studio at 5 30 um when I had Mia I thought right I'll just get up at half five, do my training or my yoga or my stretches, whatever it is,

till half six and then the day can start with Mia. And that's what I stuck to. Obviously, in lockdown, it was a lot easier because Gorka was back. So I could just say to him, I'll train in the afternoon, you sort of for an hour or so. But when it's me and Mia on our own, which it will be for the foreseeable really with with gawker strictly scheduled it almost sounds a bit like

being a strictly partner or a strictly wife whatever is a bit like being an army wife like you've just got to get used to these big chunks of time where they get sent away yeah you kind of since we got together that's how our relationship's been. And I think that's why it works because I know for a fact, especially after lockdown, if I had to be with Gawker all day, every day for the rest of my life, I couldn't do it. There's no chance. I second you on that one. Yeah. I think I'd even be pushed to spend all day, every day with Tom Hardy.

And that's saying something because he's a dream, isn't he? I think it's important as humans that we have that we're good on our own yeah because that's how me and Gorka were when we met you know I was single he was single we were both kind of just doing our thing when we got together it's kind of the icing on the cake of an already good kind of situation yeah that makes sense yeah when we fell pregnant I remember telling my mom being so excited and she said, it will be good because she said so many people have children thinking it's going to fix a relationship. And she said, if your relationship's already on that, you know, you're, you're arguing a lot, you're both stressed, you're both tired. She said, that's amplified by

the fact you've got a child to look after and you're sleep deprived your money's tighter everything else is a stress so if that situation is put to try and help a situation it won't it'll make it worse yeah I can believe that everything's already good then like I say it's the icing on the cake although you still get stressed and you're still exhausted and you still spend more than you need but you deal with it better because because you're good together so Gemma is there anything you've done differently since you've been a mum is there anything you've changed about the way you live and the things that you do uh yeah I mean I've just kind of realized now what everything I do obviously is filtered down to Mia and I just think the state we're all in at the minute I think

anything we can do to to help I do so you know I've always been kind of passionate about the whole recycling and trying to be organic with products and it's it's little things like when I'm buying a stuff um I use a it's a company called uh Pura and it's basically baby wipes and nappies with with no plastic in them and I didn't even realize that was a thing I didn't realize there was baby wipes and nappies with no plastic in them. And I didn't even realise that was a thing. I didn't realise there was plastic in baby wipes. But there is. So it's kind of little things like that. I just read the labels more and just try and do what's best, not just for Mia, but I think for the planet, because I think it's Mia's babies as well, you know, the future generation, so to speak. And it's all those little things, isn't it? Just all those tiny things you can do

at home that actually, if we all do them, they add up and make a big difference. Definitely. It is just the small changes. And, you know, I think no one's going to be perfect, but if I can get a baby wipe with no plastic in it, you know, that's what I'm going to do. So just little things like that, like you say, they make a big difference. So going back to talking about your exercise, did becoming a mum change how you felt about your body? I know that you're famous for your body in many ways. Is it something that you struggled with or did you enjoy the change? And then what about that glorious postpartum bit where everything wobbles and is heading south?

I did love the change because a lot of people were saying to me, oh, gosh, I mean, I put on 20 kilograms with Mia. It was quite embarrassing because all the midwives said, oh, you're going to have a massive baby. She's going to be massive. And so every time someone said to me, gosh, aren't you big? I'd go, yeah, she's a big baby. And she came out at 4.10 and I was like, oh, so it was just pizza.

It was the pizza I was eating. It wasn't a gravy at all. But I loved the changes in my body because I saw it as a sign my body was working. I know that sounds odd. And again, it's things like the time of the month, you know, women message me and go, oh, I'm so bloated and I'm so spotty

and I'm so out of it that time of the month. And I say, yeah, but that's because your body's working. It's doing what it's meant to do. And I think mums shy away from that and see it as a bad thing that they gain weight during pregnancy. I saw it as I'm building a house to house my growing baby and I want to make it as safe and secure as possible. So the last thing I was bothered about was, you know,

oh, I must only eat salad I was trying to move as much as I could you know as safely as I could and say you were trying to make a house for your baby I was just the size of a house Wendy you were not I was I'm so short I just went out I found the last the last month for me I my face, it went like a full moon. I remember my sister came to me and she said, oh, you've got a pregnant face now, Gemma. I said, what's a pregnant face? And she's like, you know, have you seen the film Drop Dead Fred when he gets his head stuck in the fridge?

I literally, I looked like that. And apparently it normally happens like towards the last week or so, but I had a good five weeks of a pregnant face, which was great. I had pregnant ankles, so massive so massive oh the cankles yeah I had the piles well I had everything piles joy piles lovely this thing this might be the only podcast that goes out that where everyone merrily talks about piles the thing is though it is all worth it in the end isn't it when you see this it's it's nuts so what's she into at the moment kind of what phase are you in what are the because it's all about phases isn't it you go from like this oh my god keeping them alive phase

to the oh my god i wish you would sleep phase what phase are you in um mia's in the phase of well she can walk now she's been walking a good few months. So I'm at the phase of walking, but like her shadow and trying to explain to her, if you fall on that, it'll hurt. Don't touch that. Put that down. Shut this. She can do anything for herself now. She went through a phase of where they stand behind you

and just wrap themselves around your calves and shins when you're trying to cook or do anything at the worktop. But she's in in she loves music it sounds cringy to say but because of my job in radio when i was pregnant for four hours a day solid she was hearing music and when she was born in the hospital we played the music and she was very relaxed and whenever she hears any type of music now she's dancing she loves it she's nodding her head or she's dancing her dad's a dancer so what do you expect that's true yeah she's definitely got the the dancing gene she loves it we interviewed anton dubeck last week oh i love anton i know he's such a nice guy and he was telling us about the joy it gives him when he sees his twins dancing he says it's just the most amazing feeling to know

that you love something and then your kids love it too and it's passed down to them as well yeah it must and as well I think for them I mean Anton's twins are obviously older than Mia so for them to see him dancing on telly it must be incredible and I said to Gorka last year she obviously didn't know what was going on but this year she'll literally be able to point at the screen and she'll know that it's the dad you know she calls him papa and he did a job the other month and he was on on screen for it and she was pointing at the tv going oh papa I know I always think it's a bit confusing for them though I remember once when mine were really tiny I was on the news and they both ran behind the telly to see if they could get to me. Oh, bless them. I know.

And my husband was like, she's not there. So we know you had a very dramatic birth with Mia. And we always ask our guests about their birth. So can you tell us the nitty gritty? Can we have your birth story, please? The abridged version. Yeah. It was kind of when my waters broke.

During my pregnancy, I had three water infections. i was actually hospitalized once with them and the third one yeah i had such bad pain in my lower back i thought i was going into labor and i was in work at the time and i remember i just burst into tears at my desk and i said i need to go hospital maybe something's wrong and and they took me down and she said it was a water infection, again, the third one. And I said to her, why do I keep getting these when I'm pregnant? And she just said, because everything's obviously swollen and, you know, more compact in your tummy than it was. And because the baby's pressing on your bladder or all that information.

So my first concern, I remember saying, will it affect Mia at all and they said no no she'll be fine because I had to take antibiotics and again I was concerned about taking antibiotics when pregnant because you're not sure what isn't especially with your first baby I wasn't sure what was and wasn't recommended and then my waters broke on the 2nd of July and they told me she was due on the 22nd and it was for some reason it was weird because my waters broke but I didn't think to myself that it was my waters I stupidly thought oh god I'm weeing it was weird I think that's that's the classic isn't it that's what everyone thinks it is it was only a few seconds in that I went oh oh gosh no it's happening so

I rung my mum I rung Gawker and Gawker was doing a show in Liverpool at the time so he was only a few seconds in that I went, oh, oh, gosh, no, it's happening. So I rung my mum, I rung Gorka, and Gorka was doing a show in Liverpool at the time. So he was only like up the road. And I booked to have me in a birthing suite. I didn't want to do the hospital stuff. I tried, you know, I did hypnobirthing and I wanted to try and do it as natural as possible, all calm, just my mum and Gorka there. And I went in and they said, well, you know, we're near ready. So you need to go home and and come back if anything happens well of course it was nearly a full day had gone by

and I actually rung my hypnobirthing um lady and I said look nothing's happening I'm not sure what to do and she said to me you need to go to the hospital she said because if your waters have broken you're at risk of infection yeah and all this stuff i didn't i didn't know they not told you that when you were there the first time no at the birthing suite they just said go home and if you if anything happens that's so bad that's too bad yeah because they usually don't give you long after your water it's like 48 hours and then you have to have the baby. Yeah, because of the infection. Yeah.

But I went into our local hospital, Bolton Hospital. They were fantastic. And they got me all monitored up and, you know, we were waiting. And again, nothing was happening and Mia was moving, but she just wasn't coming out. So they said they'd give me a sweep, which I don't know if you've had any of them. I've had them. It's not very nice at all, is it? Well, actually, I was dreading it and I was like lying back with my eyes scrunched up like, oh, my God.

And then I was like, hurry up. And she's like, I've done it. I was like, oh, really? OK, thanks. But was it not like that for you? Was it painful? It was kind of like a smear, but I just remember feeling a lot more pressure. It was the pressure really for me.

I was a bit like, oh, that's kind of, I'm aware that someone's hand's inside me. It was kind of weird. And from the sweep, nothing happened. And then they said, right, we're going to induce you. And nothing was happening. And they wired me up to a machine which monitors Mia's heart rate. And one of the nurses, she said to me I'm just going to call someone she said because baby's heart rate's dropping and obviously

so obviously then you start to panic yes I remember she said to me Mia's heart should be between 110 and 160 I think she she said, and it was 40. She was lovely, she just leaned into me and she said, listen, I'm going to press a button, I need you to stay calm, but people will come in and we are going to have to give you a C-section because we need to get her out. So I said, okay, I said, whatever you need to do is fine. My mum and Gorka were in the room and Wimbledon was on at the time, so Gorka was watching a Nadal game on Wimbledon

he had his headphones on watching the Nadal game and the button was pressed and they all came in and he says oh what's happening what's going on and he explained what was going on. He took me out and I remember looking at my mum and I remember my mum just nodding saying you'll be fine don't worry and I've since found out Gorka said as soon

as I left the room she burst into tears oh man but what a lovely mum that she held it together in front of you what a great mum no idea no idea at all um they got me on the table we did the epidural and then Walker came in in his scrubs which were far too big for him which made me laugh um he got me around all fine but she was tiny like I think she was 4 10 so she was so so small wow she was I mean she was healthy her heart rate was fine in the end and every time we went and had the scans it was strong and her measurements were fine but it was a few hours after I'd had Mia I had a hemorrhage but because I was still known from the epidural I wasn't aware I was bleeding.

It was kind of just the whole, I went very lightheaded, and I said to Gorka, look, you need to get someone. I feel really ill. There was so much blood. I remember seeing it, thinking, oh, my, like, not registering that it had come from me. It was odd. Yeah, yeah.

And there was a doctor. One of them was massaging my stomach. One was, like, pulling clots away from me. The other was giving me injections. Oh, my gosh. Of all this stuff going on, I looked around and Gorka was sat in a chair with his head in his hands and a nurse was like rubbing his back, bless him. I thought you were going to say he was watching the rest of Wimbledon. And he just said to me, he said it was like a formula one pit stop he said and they were

speaking so fast he said i couldn't really understand he said then they took me out they took her out of the way and then i the last thing i remember i woke up in a high dependency unit with one of the nicest midwives who i've stayed in touch with to this day that's nice yeah she was changing my catheter and as soon as I woke up I said to her I'm gonna be sick I'm gonna be sick because I've had so much medication and she just held her hands with the bowl under my mouth and obviously I don't know if you've had a section but yeah just had your stitches it was painful because obviously you're heaving and yeah but yeah I stayed in hospital for four days and they helped me breastfeed Mia and my family came to visit and you know it was all good and at the time I

remember thinking gosh I don't think I could have another baby if this was the case because I've always said I'd love her to have a sibling but as time's gone on it took me about three months and I clicked and I was like I would do that all over again isn't it funny we all do that because I hemorrhaged as well and I was like no no way absolutely not and I remember my husband referring to the he was like oh my god the floor of the operating room was just like a wash yeah and then funnily enough a few years later you find yourself did they connect her being kind of a low birth weight with the hemorrhaging like do they know what caused either thing like are they connected well they said to me if ever I want to find out why and when or what happened they said we have all your records you can you can come and

but I just think to myself it did it's not going to change anything the only concern I'd have is you know if I was to have another baby that you know they've said to me you would have more scans than usual you would be monitored more and I just I said to the nurse is it something I did did I eat something did I do something wrong and she said no she said she said to me actually it's quite common which is you know she said a lot of women go through it she said no she said she said to me actually it's quite common which is you know she said a lot of women go through it she said you you're very very lucky if your birth story is my waters broke I had a very easy labor and then I had a baby and then I went home um and I know people who've done that and I know people who had it a lot worse than I did and I know people who've had the same as

you know me so I think my mine was a success because I think that successful birth is you and your baby healthy at the end of it do you think it traumatized you did it take you a while to get over it and sort of process it all in your head or did you bounce back quite quickly from it all well I mean I wouldn't recommend anyone do this without seeking advice and I did seek advice first but I stopped my painkillers I was on strong painkillers after the section and they were giving me the most horrendous like dreams and kind of it sounded awful but I didn't feel safe holding her because I was so doped up from these strong painkillers and I said to the health visitor I said I need to stop taking these these tablets I said they're not they're no good for me and she

said well you must finish the course because it's you, it's to stop the pain in your scar. And I said to my mom, I'll take a little bit of pain. I'll just have my paracetamol, but I'm not, I mean, I couldn't, my fingers were tingling and I just, regular massage paracetamol every four hours and once I'd stopped that and that was out of my system the kind of fear and weird dreams and the thoughts they kind of went away as well that's really interesting and I just thought there's no point kind of dwelling on a situation that's happened it's you know it's that I always think you know worrying is like a rocking horse it's something to do but it's not going to get you anywhere. Very true, very true. I thought your option is to move on, deal with it, and sort your little girl out who's crying in a car who needs you,

or, you know, sit and wallow about it. So I did the first option. I'm very impressed. I'm very impressed. Now, another health story that interested me about you is, we know that you tested positive for COVID antibodies without real that you'd had it didn't you yeah well um we went to see the gawker in theater early in it was early march end of february march there was six of us who went and we all went to the theater and then we all came home and it was a sunday night and on the wednesday we all got ill but at different levels um so I had severe

aches but only for about half a day and that was it and I just thought gosh wow that's all I had um I didn't have a cough or temperature or anything Gorka had like severe flu symptoms and I remember him saying to me he said oh I've got such a bad cold he was like coughing and he felt warm my mum and stepdad my stepdad was very poorly he was in bed for a good two and a half weeks and my uncle and auntie who came with us they were the same because Covid wasn't really about it was known to be around then but not really in the UK so I didn't really think it was that because I felt fine in the morning after and it was only when we all of us all of us lost our smell and taste for a good three weeks and we thought that's a bit weird so that's when I decided to do the antibodies test because within that

period of me losing my taste and smell that came out as one of the possible side effects of Covid. So you were one of the you guys were one of kind of the earlier cases it's really fascinating but losing your sense of taste and smell what does that really feel like I can't imagine it it's awful because I remember one day I was thinking I really fancy some hummus I fancy some hummus but I couldn't taste it and also you can't satisfy your craving for anything so is is it very obvious when it happens, like you really do notice that you've lost it? Because I'm like, maybe I have, maybe I haven't. But I guess you know if it's different.

I mean, I was like trying to get the strongest food. I was smelling our vinegar for our chips. And then how long did it take to come back? It was about just under three weeks for me. It started slowly coming back after about two weeks. And by the end of the third week, it was but yeah gawkers came back quicker I remember we were having tea and he looked at me he said I can taste I said oh you get I said really yeah I can taste it and I said oh god and then about three days later mine came back did Mia not have any symptoms or anything

she didn't get it no I mean touch wood thankfully Mia was fine I mean she's had little coughs and colds since she was born you know little snivels so you know who knows but thankfully you know she's been absolutely fine as far as her health goes um which which obviously is that at the time we didn't can think it was COVID but when we look back now we think oh my god thank thank god Mia was okay um so one of the things we often ask our guests is what was the last parenting question you asked google i like this question the last parenting google um oh it was how how long do i let my baby cry for it was last night because she was crying my mum said to me she said j, Gemma, she's very clever.

She said, she said, if she's no rash, she's no temperature, she's got a dry nappy and she's been fed, you have to think to yourself, right, is she just being a smartass here and trying it on? And she said, just give her five minutes, stand outside her room so she can't see you, but you'll be able to see her on the monitor. She said, give her five minutes and see what happens.

And so I put it into Google because I thought, if I wait five minutes and the limit is two then you know I'm in the wrong time thing but I think it's the worst thing to do Google um I do it all the time I always self-diagnose the amount of times I've said to Gawker I need to go hospital this is happening to me and it's like Annie Annie is like the worst I'm certifiable with Google honestly I shouldn't be let anywhere near it quite why I'm the editor of a website I have no idea

it's kind of weird but last night I was watching her on a monitor and she threw a dummy across the room and then she looked at the door to see if anyone was going to come in and I thought no I'm not doing it and then she put her hands on her cot and she physically tried to shake her cot and then again she looked at the door so I thought right she's trying it on now um and my mum was right within five ten minutes she was flat out

she you know cried herself to sleep but it is horrible thing and that's the worst thing I've experienced so far. It's the worst thing ever we all have to do it now and again because you know they're playing you but it's that thing where you can hear them crying I used all have to do it now and again because you know they're playing you but it's that thing where you can hear them crying I used to have to sit at the furthest end of the house on my hands so that I wouldn't go up because it was just hard to stay and when they hold their hands out to you which makes it worse they know how to how to work you well and I was the complete pussy who never did it ever cut forward to six years later and still in the middle of the night there's a little one

snuggling up next to me because she knows that I'm a soft touch the son sent you out though I remember you ringing me from the wrong to the right honestly once he said that's it we've got to like try and let him cry this is with my son and I remember I went to the pub on my own and bought myself a drink so it's the only thing I can do oh mom guilt's a constant constant for me you know sometimes when I'm driving to work sometimes twice a week I'm out from about half past eight in the morning till eight o'clock in the evening and it's the guilt I feel and Gorka says to me you're working it's fine it's two days you know that five days a week I'm just out for the afternoons for the the drive time show I do he said to me there's thousands

of parents who do nine to five jobs Gemma you know you're so lucky that you have your morning with us so stop beating yourself up but I think I don't think it'll ever go away that. You just do all the time. Yeah. Does he ever feel guilty? Because obviously he's a strictly dad. Like Anton was saying that they all had to go off and do all the show dances together and stuff. So when he's away, does he feel that guilt?

Does he get dad guilt? Yeah. I mean, he FaceTimes all the time, bless him. You know, sometimes Ali asks, or Giovanni'll message me and say I think you need to call Gawker he's having a bit of a missing Mia day um and he says you know he does feel especially this year I mean last year wasn't bad because we could go and visit when we went we went to Blackpool last year we took Mia to Blackpool but this year because of

the Covid restrictions I'm not even going to be able to go and see him and I would never risk you know taking Mia down to London at the minute anyway but I always think it's tougher for him than it is me because yes I'm going to be missing him but I've got my home comforts I'm with Mia we're at home I've got my family he's the one who's away and he's doing his dancing he's got all the pros there. They're all so close and friendly. But yeah, I do feel for him with him being away. Oh, it's tough. Now we've come to our last question now.

It's the same question that we ask all of our guests. It's our absolute favourite. It sounds a bit creepy, but bear with us. You've got to imagine that you're putting Wendy and me to bed. Sing us your lullaby. Sing us the lullaby you would sing, Mia. Oh, well, it's a song that I used to have sung to me by my uncle. And he made it up himself.

Lovely. It just goes, time to go to bed, time to go to bed. Mummy and daddy say it's time to go to sleep and then it's time to have a dream a sweet and lovely dream mommy and daddy say it's time to have a dream and then he says time to say good night and I used to go good night time to say good night good night mommy and daddy say it's time to say good night and my uncle Clive used to sing that to me so i do that to her sometimes i'm feeling that it's mr tumble anything mr tumble sings i'd sing that to her oh well you can tell your uncle clive that he's now famous for having written a beautiful lullaby he said to me

he says i used to sing that to you i put you in bed you'd be fast asleep he says and then i'd try and sneak out he said i'd get one foot out the door he said you'd be fast asleep he says and then i was trying to sneak out he said i'd get one foot out the door he said you'd turn around and go i'm not asleep yet oh jemma it's been an absolute joy thank you so much for serenading us at the end thank you guys for having me i look forward to listening i think it's great that you're you're doing things like this. I think it's daunting being a new parent, old parent. So when you've got something like this to rely on

and realise that we're not all insane, we're insane together. And we're one massive support group. That's what we are. All right, well, good luck with all your house unpacking. Thank you. Thank you so much, guys. No worries.

Have a great day, Gemma. Bye.