The Netmums Podcast - S11 Ep4: Sarah Beeny on parenting four lively boys and the life lessons she's gained since her cancer diagnosis

Episode Date: October 3, 2023

In this episode, hosts Wendy and Alison are joined by Sarah Beeny. Sarah Beeny, the UK's property guru extraordinaire is well known for her insightful advice and captivating television appearances. Most recently transforming her own life from city slicker to Somerset sweetheart in "Sarah Beeny's New Life in the Country," she's now ready to spill the beans on parenting four lively boys, her ambitious future career dreams, and the life lessons she's gained since her cancer diagnosis. Sarah’s book The Simple Life is out now. This series of the Netmums podcast is produced by Decibelle Creative. 

You're listening to The Netmums Podcast with me, Wendy Gollich, and me, Alison Perry. Coming up on this week's show... Life's amazing, isn't it? Because it's kind of things come along that aren't so good and things come along that are good. And the only thing I've learned is that when the good things come along, appreciate it, because a bad thing will come along anyway. And so you might as well enjoy the good things when the good things come. But before all of that... This episode of The Netmums Podcast is brought to you by Aldi. Wendy, I've got a question for you. What's your guilty parenting pleasure? Oh, I'd probably say it's gobbling up cold fish fingers from my kids plates after

they've abandoned dinner in favour of watching the telly. I do that too. I reckon my guilty pleasure is sneaking out and escaping my children to have a lovely browse of my local Aldi alone. I am so with you. What I love about Aldi is they have an excellent range of great value products. They even have an award winning baby and toddler range which includes weaning essentials, nappies and wipes. It's funny you should say that because another friend told me that she switched to Aldi Mamiya and it's giving her big savings. Yes, plus with Netmums and Aldi, new parents can get a pack of newborn nappies absolutely free. So log on to our site and let your friends know about this awesome opportunity with Netmums and Aldi. Right,

don't tell my family but I'm sneaking off to Aldi right now. Oh, hello, hello. Welcome to a new episode. Now, I have to prepare you for a slightly ranty episode. I think it's the end of the summer holidays when we are recording this podcast. Alison and I have done the juggle. We've survived the juggle. We have got between us two twins starting primary school and one child starting secondary school in the next three or four days. Tensions are high. Alcohol consumption is high. And we've got a lovely guest who we're hoping is going to understand our woes.

Alison, what do you reckon? I reckon she will because a little birdie has told me that she has got a big child starting university soon so I think that she's going to feel our pain. So joining us today on the podcast is someone who has been on our tellyreens for years, sharing her wisdom on buying and renovating property. Sarah Beeney's new book, The Simple Life, sees her share her stories and experiences from parenting her four sons to work-life balance. So I feel like she's going to have some pearls of wisdom for us today. And also building the home of their dreams in Somerset and her cancer diagnosis and

treatment. Sarah, a warm welcome to the podcast. Thank you very much. Thank you very much for having me. That's very kind. Now, I did think you might be swigging a beer there, Sarah. Well, to be honest, I'm tempted to have a beer, but it is before midday. So that's, you know, even though somewhere in the... It's 12.11. It's well past the hour, Dan. I could get rid of my diet coke and get a beer now. I realise it's 11 minutes past 12. It's well past. We give you permission.

So as I mentioned in the intro, your eldest, Billy, is off to university soon, isn't he, Zara? He is, yeah, which is, you know, that's kind of quite a massive thing because he's he's 19 and although you know I so he was going to university and in my head I was going to have this kind of simplified life wrote a book about it show how much I really will have a simple life and then just as everything was sort of calm and and serene and he was going off to university it was all going to be calm and serene obviously I'd be a blubbing mess because he'd be leaving for university but um but then they decided my sons and my husband decided to

have a rock band so they now have a rock band which means he is going to university but but um they they won a competition to play at Glastonbury they've got a song another song that's out on Friday they were recording a video last night till like three in the morning they've literally turned into just as it all was sort of this kind of grenade came in from the kids and my husband looked like went and um and now yeah so he is off to university but it's he hasn't fresh as week he's got um fresh as hour because he's coming back to play a gig that night so it's not a very um yeah he's not only there for an hour or two and then he's got to come back because he's in a band with his brothers

and then they're going on tour when in the autumn so he's only at he's got he can go to university but only for monday night and friday night how does that feel having sons in a rock band like are you slightly worried they're going to really embrace the rock lifestyle and all of the shit that comes with a rock lifestyle or are you just super proud and loving the fact that they've just played Glastonbury well playing Glastonbury is quite a big deal isn't it it's pretty cool and really cool so but yeah so before that they played they played at Carfest and then they played they won this competition played Glastonbury and then they played Boomtown and that was quite scary because I haven't been to Boomtown and I don't know if

you've been to Boomtown but it's quite kind of full of cool people and as I walked through I was like oh blimey this is very cool um and so yeah I mean it is it's not like you know it would the safer things to do but there are more dangerous things to do as well so I yeah I mean it's pretty cool to be I'm going to be really honest and they're really good you know their music is really good and they're you know charting really well on Spotify and and yeah you know life's amazing isn't it because it's kind of things come along that aren't so good and things come along that are good and the only thing I've learned is that when the good things come along appreciate it because a bad thing will come along anyway and so you might as well enjoy the good things when the good things come and right now it might be um meaning that our

entire family is a little bit more chaotic than it was but it's good it's good i love the um i love the name of your son's rock band is it the entitled sons yes they named who came up with that name i just think it's so genius they did because they said you know we had the TV show that was on and people kept, they'd look at social media when the show was on. And most people are really lovely, actually, but the odd person go, oh, they're so entitled. And so the boys just said, well, are we going to call our band that? We're just going to call it that and then just get in there first. You know, they're going to say it anyway. So they just thought that they'd, like, you know, know address the elephant in the room which is what not many people I mean they

honestly I they work really hard I mean they do I reckon probably 15-20 hours as practice a week and then they play a gig most weeks and so it's not like it's easy it's not easy but they are very privileged children and so I think they just thought they'd get in there first and it does shut people up because there's no messing is there it's like well we know how old's the youngest one then he's 13 so he's in a rock band at 13 yeah that's pretty cool yeah that is pretty cool I keep yeah he's he's the one I worry about most which is why he has to go to school because like at 13 I think at 19 you you kind of had you know you could be in a rock band at 19 and be like normal but at 13 I'm

like no he's got to go to school and you know like then run out of fish fingers and he'd be told that he can't have fish fingers he's got to have like you know a sausage instead and you know all that stuff like you know and someone to tell him he, it's like, you need, you need to be a teenager in school with everyone else, don't you? Well, and also do the things that will stand you in good stead if being in a rock band doesn't work out, right? Well, there is that, although they don't contemplate that as a possibility. Of course not.

But I'm kind of like, I mean I basic reading and writing skills that's always useful helpful in the supermarket when you're reading your shopping list yeah when you've run out of fish fingers and need a sausage yeah when you're new otherwise you could end up with something completely random that you weren't expecting so yeah there's useful skills reading writing all those those things what does your youngest friends think because is he going to year nine now what do his friends think of him well uh i i mean really honestly that's a weird thing is it's sort of almost hard on him because i think his friends don't even know really what a rock band is and so so they just want to like be in the like football team or the rugby team and he can't be in the rugby team or football team because he has to miss all of the matches because his brothers tell him he's got to come

home to to record and practice so they go they drive to school and pick him up like no no you can't play that stupid match of like football or rugby you've got to come home and record so he misses all the matches which is probably actually he would be best you know that's what they think would be cool at that age and meanwhile he has to come home and and um and practice being in a rock band but he does really enjoy it it means he's quite grown up for his age to be honest so he's yeah he is very grown up for his age so parenting for teenage boys then sarah you must you must have seen it all over the years um what pearls of wisdom do you have that you can share with anyone listening who might have younger boys or even just a boy and they're just looking for a bit of advice yeah

just stick to one boy that's would be might be a bit late for that yeah um yeah i, well, someone said to me once that boys muck up your house and girls muck up your head. I've heard that one. Which is true. But I guess also don't, I suppose, you know, on a kind of slightly earnest point, don't sweat the kind of things that don't matter. I always remember my gorgeous sister-in-law and she had so her son is my godson but he's a bit older and he was standing in his pants on the kitchen table like dancing and and i was like i was looking at her i think i didn't have kids at the time i was thinking is she gonna like get

him dressed or something and she said just pick your battles i mean you know if he wants to dance the kitchen table in his pants let him do it because there's going to be another battle where I'm going to have to fight so hard. And that's one that he can just knock himself out and just sort it out. That's no problem. And so I have, I would say that if anyone has any kids, but particularly boys. I think that works with girls. I've got two girls and my husband is forever saying to me,

no, pick your battles. that one's not worth fighting yeah my daughter's soon to be 12 so we're just coming into at 12 girls your daughter is 12 isn't she Alison girls yeah about 13 I think they're much older than boys at that age and so we are fully into her lump thing yeah yeah I mean it is complicated my 13 year old has embraced this this sort of bad temperedness or he used to be utterly perfect and now he's I keep going oh could you just like pass through this space really fast because it's really boring but um but I suppose um you know I would say these are the things I'd say is keep talking all the time. And I always worry about when I hear parents who don't tell the truth, don't talk, don't like keep the conversation going. Because that's, you know, the stuff's going on anyway.

You might think you're in control and you're like, no, my children would never go and do that. They are actually. They're just not telling you that's what's happening so if they're not telling you it's because you're actually just in denial um and um i sort of slightly rather know what's going on than than them not tell me what's going on because at least then when they come across something that's really unsettles them and they're like oh how do I handle that at least you know they don't have to go oh I can't talk to you about that because I sort of didn't tell you I was doing any of that you know what I mean whatever it is whether it's staying up late or you know whatever the thing is um you know we just want them to be safe don't we isn't that what all parents want and and so they keep the conversation going so talk talk talk talk talk

so that when that thing comes along which it invariably does but um that really rocks their boat and you have to remember i always think children um they've got so little to worry about you know adults we we worry about like the mortgage and the fact we haven't got the car remoteed and we've got to pay the car tax and and and we haven't you know done the but the neighbors complained about something or another and we need to go and sort it out and and you haven't donated the village fate and your rubbish and all those things we haven't done and so we kind of like panic about all these things whereas children have literally nothing to do they don't even have to worry particularly about whether they've got any clean clothes because it's sort of because

well they don't care if they're clean no they don't care that's true they don't care about any of it so they're busy like doing their thing and so when a big thing happens to them proportionately it's massive you know falling out with a friend who says they're a smelly poo is like that's like 99% of their world has just been trashed because someone said they were a smelly poo whereas you know for adults like us you just go I mean probably yeah I mean actually we might cry but you know it depends on the day but um that's such a good point it's proportionately big so don't dismiss ridiculously small things that we consider in our lives are proportionately ridiculously small because in their lives there isn't that's it that is so that's a very good point yeah that's the only

thing so yeah listen because it hurts you know you've got nothing else to worry about. Well, while we've got you in tip mode, I always wonder, do you kind of find that you get people coming up to you in Sainsbury's and stuff asking you for property and renovation tips? And does it, A, does it drive you up the wall? And B, do you have, like, your three top tips that you just say, oh, reel them off to get rid of them every time? No, because all the questions are different. Okay.

So you do get them. You get the questions. A little bit, not much. I mean, you know, people are so nice. 99.99999% of people are gorgeous. I mean, that's just the rules in life I've discovered. And so when people don't come up that much, when they do life I've discovered and um and so when people don't come up that much when they do they're always so charming and so lovely and and they're all

slightly different questions but I've got a friend who's um who's a GP another friend actually who's a dermatologist and um and so I always ask them questions and I'm just like you know and then I kind of go oh I'm so sorry I shouldn't do that and they go no that's what I've studied the years this is what I do and it's what I love so then I thought I kind of think you know just in the same way as I send you know like sort of you know here's my scabby finger off to James I'm like James what's this I've got this like slightly funny finger what um and he's so patient about it and I think well well I love what I do and why wouldn't I want to

share that with people you know if you know about something it's really exciting that people want to talk about a thing that you find exciting so no I love it actually I really enjoy it. I'm so glad to hear that other people have got a gp friend who they send pictures of scabby fingers to because my friend caroline is a gp and i do feel like i take the mickey by like constantly sending her little whatsapp messages like oh what's this and she'll be worried about this we all do it we all do it it's just part it's like the hippocratic oath i think if you're a gp you just have to suck up the fact that your mates are going to ask you about their fungal big toe. Yeah, and then totally, they must hate the iPhone. I think for a GP, the iPhone's ruined their life, hasn't it?

Because it's just the iPhone means we can now like get a photo really quickly to them. Yes. Even if they're out to dinner. Yes. Well, my GP friend is in Canada, so she gets them at like three in the morning because I never bothered to do the time difference. And then she's pinging back what the problem is and then yeah I mean they're just I mean everybody needs like a doctor friend don't they to go like it's like I mean they're so useful so useful to have um now Sarah you've said that you dreamed of having a large family like in the Waltons but that the reality wasn't quite as idyllic.

What has got you through the less than perfect times over the years? Rosé, probably. Yeah, always good. Yeah, the less than perfect times. Well, I mean, you know, I'm kind of a high stress person and I'm quite a kind of active person. And I take on way too many things and then wonder why I did. But, you know, there's still magic.

I have had moments where I have just, you know, they're very frustrating children. But, you know, when you, I go around, they now think it's really weird, but I tiptoe around at night when they're all there I tiptoe around their bedrooms and I open the door and I go in and I look at them sleeping and I give them a kiss and sometimes they wake up going what are you doing mum I'm like nothing nothing I was just I was just like looking and they're like what are you doing you're like a weird stalker I'm like no I was just I was just looking at you

in your bed they're like why are you in my bedroom it's such a weird thing to do I'm like no just a kiss good night but actually that's the magic moment is going around and seeing them sleeping in their beds and that you know that where they are you know one isn't out and at a party you're thinking oh god are you all okay they're all in their beds and they're all nice and warm and snuggling their beds and then you can go around and kiss them all on the head and then that is a good feeling do you do the do you stay awake if one of them is at a party or are you just asleep and not um which sort are you um i do both um it depends i'm no i do go to sleep i'm not i'm i'm much more rational than I used to be.

I'm much better than I was because I kind of think I've somehow got to let this go. Because, you know, my cell phone's on team. You never sleep. Ever. Ever. So, no, I don't. And I do really trust them all. And I trust them all.

They watch each other's backs a lot, which I love. They, you know, they know they have to watch each other's backs a lot, which I love. They, you know, they know they have to watch each other's backs. You know, you can't guarantee that, you know, you can only hope that the rest of the world is looking after your prized possessions as much as you are and pray that they are. And, you know, that's all that you can do, isn't it? And, yeah, try and be rational, try not to be mental,

but no, I don't stay awake. We're popping on again to remind you that this episode of the Netmums podcast is brought to you by Aldi. Switching to Aldi Mammy and Nappies can save parents more than £200 during the first 12 months alone. Don't forget to visit Netmums to claim your free pack of newborn nappies. And let all your friends know too. Do you have one of those tracking apps

where you'll get like a little message to say, oh, Charlie's come home or, you know, so each time one of them comes in from a party, you can just check your phone. No, they do come and kiss me goodnight if they've gone to a party though they do come and they do which is really wonderful and they're very kind i we do have find my friends which some people think is a bit odd but i don't i'm not trying to track them i just trying to you know like you know it starts me ringing them going are you all right you're right i can just look at them get all they've got home so I don't need to think about it anymore.

We're just getting into that here because we're just getting into her going into town on her own and doing that stuff and having the conversation about do we get the find my friends? Do we find out where she is? But I think it's okay because she might get in a muddle and might need to be picked up or looked after she's 12 that's okay I mean I think I you know the way I see it is is that um it depends on how you use it because you can make a rod for your own back and it depends how much control you want if you want to control your children and you want to know exactly where they are when they're there and at the right time, don't have a tracking app because they won't do what they say they're going to do.

And they're not going to want to tell you everything because half the fun of being a child is getting away with things they're not meant to do. And so if you're going to find that information out and then be cross, don't find out. But if you're going to accept that, you know, there's going to be a load of things you don't know about. But, you know, it's just don't ever think you can control your children. But if you just want to kind of keep an eye on not being in control, then it kind of works. But you can't control them because they're people, aren't they? Control yourself. That's it. Well, you can't even control yourself half the time again no child so how would you describe the kind of mum you are I'm I feel like I'm a different mum to each of my girls because they're quite different humans are you the same have you got four very different humans

living under your roof and you're a different mum to all of them yeah actually yeah they're really really different um I'd call myself inconsistent I would call myself bipolar I'd um yeah I don't mean to be I guess I have trigger points which I really struggle to you know we have little conversations about the kind of things that the trigger points in our family that make it really difficult and and they still don't fix and that really annoys me but you know I largely if they got out of bed without me nagging them um that's actually all I really that would be it that would be that's all I really wanted like really I mean it's so boring going in and out going please so you start off with a often I start with a like a happy tune

going and going morning and then the next time I'm like hi guys okay yeah can you just jump out of bed please and then I'm in like but I've been in here three times can you get out of bed and the next time I'm like get like that and then and then an hour later i'm like swearing and then i'm just calling them swearing duvets and screaming like i'm like sort of like some sort of bewitched woman and um and then i just think well if you just got out of bed on your own then we all of that like none of that would happen because you're still gonna have to get up aren't you it's not like you're not gonna have to get up but um we did find a really good solution it was my eldest son who's genius he um he had to look after children because graham and i were away and get them out of bed for school and he's got a bucket of cold

water and pulled the dude back and tipped it on them and they were really cross because the bed was wet and i was like billy was in charge oh my goodness when we should got out of bed then you've got to sleep in a wet bed that's fine next day I got back they were all sleeping in one bed because Billy poured water every you know I was like well you know that kind of worked I mean that's you know that was that's genius it's so funny how the table's tearing with parenting though isn't it because we're having four-year-old twins if they stayed in bed all day I would be the happiest person in the world but instead they're waking up at 6am and coming up and dragging me out of bed to come and watch Peppa Pig with them so yeah it's really

interesting hearing you talking about dragging your kids out of bed yeah it's coming it's coming it comes it comes it certainly does and it doesn't help with their kind of you know this like rock star status because they seem to stay up when I go to bed i get up early because i like the morning and they seem to think that they're you know i'm out of control i'm literally i'm no longer needed in that uh that home of of home of uh you know rock Provide them with food and that's it, basically. Well, they say... Or get the bucket of water ready. Bucket of water.

So these are the items you really need. You need, well, I always think... Rosé. Rosé, a lot. And you need, yeah, you need... They'll be like dogs, really. If you exercise them well and you feed them well and you sleep them well, then they're quite nice. Whereas, you know, like if you've got a dog.

If a bit smelly. A little bit smelly, yeah. But, you know, there's a clothes peg and all that. But, yeah, you can, I think if you don't exercise a child, particularly a boy, and then give it Coca-Cola, then it's a nightmare. You know, that's like literally literally that's like leaving a puppy at home and going to work all day that i mean the house would be trashed and yeah you know eating the furniture yes yeah we've got a thing with my daughter though where she she's at that age now where she can be in a funk and she can't recognize that she's in a funk. And if you ask her, she doesn't know what's wrong. It could be calories,

it could be sleep, it could be hormones. So basically, we've devised a code word. So if I go up to her and say, Chloe, you're being a bit flamingo. She knows she's being a wanker, basically. And it's a non-aggressive way for me to say, sort yourself out. And she can take it. And then she knows if I say she's being flamingo, she has to go and do some exercise of some form. Clever. Trampoline, roller skating.

Get out of my face and go and sort yourself out, basically. And it works a treat because it's not aggressive. I'm not saying, you are being a pain in my butt like you're being a bit flamingo and off she pops and that's so clever so that's teaching the only parenting thing i've got right thus far listeners to be honest one thing every 10 years to get right i think is quite good actually that's quite an achievement yeah yeah i think that's very good i'm impressed i'm impressed i'm talking of achievements um sarah you've been with

your husband graham since you were 18 haven't you um what would you say is the secret to a long and happy relationship Like a waso. Yeah, pretty much. Rose. Don't just peg. Yeah, pretty much. Do you know what? I'm really lucky. You know, I married my best friend, and he's quite good-looking, actually, as well, which sort of helps, because it's quite nice to be married

to someone who's, you know, quite hotty. I have to say, when I watched your TV documentary, he is quite hot i'll give you that it's quite yummy you know in a big scheme of things i mean i know you shouldn't be lookist but he is quite he's always been quite good looking but um so and he makes me laugh and you know i somehow or another i kind of lucked out because, you know, he's made me laugh and he's loyal. I needed loyal. He's loyal. So, yeah. And then you can share everything if someone's that, can't you?

So that's, yeah, I'm really. You picked a good one. I kind of, I mean, he's got loads of really bad sides to him, drives me mad. But he's also incredibly artistic, which I'm in slight admiration of because I'm kind of like a you know I'm sort of like a driver forward of things and I'm very slapdash and like oh that'll do let's move on and um but he's a you know whatever he touches in terms of the arts he's really you know he's an incredibly accomplished fine artist and you know if you ask him to do anything like he designed our house he um like he writes the music with the band

anything to do with anything to do with the arts is exceptional if he touches it and that makes me really lazy because I can say to him things like we're building this tv studio at the moment which is really exciting but I rang him and just went what are we going to call it could you could you come up with like a brand and then like a logo please by tomorrow and he will you know he will just go yeah okay and then like that's not hard work for him for me I'll be like oh he's like you know he in the terms of artistic anything he's just like yeah no Yeah, he's a proper creative. So you're talking about the house and the new studio. You've obviously done a TV show about it

and you've said that it will never be quite finished, which the fact you're now building a TV studio shows that there's something else that you're doing to the house. Which, do you have a favourite bit or do you have something that you still really want to do with the house oh god millions of things yeah loads but then it was you know we bought we bought a 220 acre xdairy farm which had every tree had been taken down and all the ponds filled in so we've been putting ponds back and planting trees and and then we built a house and the thing about uh you know we had a lot of experience if i'm honest of um of how good houses work and how how to make a great house um but it has no outbuildings

so there's no way to put in a thing so you know, the lawnmower lives under a piece of plastic. And so we need those normal outbuildings you'd have with a house like that. That needs to happen one day. And then the farm is, you know, we're in the process of restoring that. We've put in five kilometres of hedgerows back. And we've got a lot of farm buildings. So that's, you know, one of them which uh we've we're just recladding at the moment because it was asbestos and it had holes in so and then if

you're going to redo like a barn you want to redo it really well you don't want to do it badly it's no point in doing a bad job so i do sort of think everything everything if you're going to do it do it properly it's like the fourth budge. Just keep going. But I know I'd be very bored sitting doing absolutely nothing. I don't think you ever sit and do absolutely nothing from the amount of TV that you're in. And you're building a studio to be in more TV from your garden, perhaps?

Well, partly that and also partly I really want to have opportunity for young people locally. I'm really excited about that. So I'd like, you know, I'd like people who live in our part of Somerset, young people, to not have to go to London to have opportunity or Bristol. It's quite a creative area around there, isn't it, as well? So there's probably a lot of kids who really have those aspirations but don't want to necessarily go to london and they might go to

london but you know i don't know why we have to be a you know the countryside doesn't have to be a sort of completely empty of opportunity for young people unless they want to work you know waiting in the local pub which is kind of cool but there should be other opportunities. That's such a good idea. So that's the plan at the moment. So, yeah, more plans, onward and upward, eh? That's brilliant. Now, you talk in your book about your cancer diagnosis and treatment, and you've spoken a lot about it, you know, in TV interviews.

What have you learned about yourself, would you say, since you had the diagnosis? Gosh, what have I learned about yourself would you say since you had the diagnosis um gosh what have I learned about myself I've learned that I was more scared of cancer than I needed to be um and that cancer treatments come on so you don't need to be as scared anymore um and and other than that that's about all I've learned really from it. And I mean, I knew I was lucky before. I did everything at a thousand miles an hour before. I knew I was lucky.

I still do everything at a thousand miles an hour. And I still think I'm lucky. And now I've got more proof that I'm lucky. So, yeah, I guess I've put to bed a whole load of things that I worried about. And I feel very privileged to have met a load of people that I wouldn't have met before. And I feel very privileged to have opened up my, you know, my box of ogres of fear and realized that that's in the past. You know, the way that cancer treatment was when my mother died is is a piece of history it's not a piece of present and it's definitely not a piece of the future that's what i found really interesting about the documentary actually was you unpicking her treatment and how different

her experience was to yours do you think that experience changed how you talked to your boys about health growing up and about your health? Oh, I mean, it's coloured everything I've ever done, I think. You know, there's no question that it has coloured and shaped my life. But it's probably just made me, I don't know, maybe I would have been, maybe I was going to do everything at a thousand miles an hour anyway. Maybe it was nothing to do with that, but who knows what cause and effect it is. But it certainly made me really enjoy having my kids because I am acutely aware of the fact that my mother didn't get to enjoy having me and my brother for more than 12 years, my brother and 10 years for me. And I think that's the saddest thing about her dying,

is I thank God. That's the thing that makes me most sad, is I thank God. Because you've kind of done lots of other things as an adult, haven't you? And that's really sad. But actually the really awful thing is the thought that you wouldn't be there, not for your children, because'll be okay, but with them, actually, with them. So, yeah, it has probably shaped how I talk to them and how I, I mean,

they know who Grandma Anna is. She's a very real person in their lives. And I think that was my testament to her is to say, you know, if we talk about you, if you ask my children who Grandma Anna is, they go, oh, God, it's that's that was my testament to her is to say you know if we talk about you if you ask my children who grandma Anna's they go oh god it's mum's mum and if they wouldn't say about her being dead they just go that's mum's mum yeah yeah and if you ask what she was like they would tell you things about her because they know about her she's a real person she's not like a piece of history she's like a person was writing the book therapeutic for you at all I mean there's so much I mean you go right back to in through the years pre-kids you talk about so many of

different experiences yeah it was it was very therapeutic because it made me sort of look at things again and kind of go oh yeah it made me like it's like a it was like a filing system you file it into order of what matters a bit and at some things I had a bit out of proportion I was like that's a bit ridiculous so um so it did sort of but more um it made I've you know I the unfinished business in my life the things I really like so I'd like to be the voice in a children's uh film cartoon that's really I really want to do that um and uh and I'd like to write a children's book and this was a part of a journey of trying to unpick what it is about my life that I mean I've written like housey books before but but I thought that's where I want to go so I'll do this and then yeah this is part of the journey to to conquering writing that's so first question do you have your children's book

in your brain already now I've got too many that's why I've got about 500 and then they all intermingle I'm like so this taught me to maybe be able to, it didn't teach me. It helped me work out how you make a structure. Because you can have, there's a million ideas, but how do you define it into some, you know, with some rules and chapters? Yeah, so I'm a bit closer. And do you want to be a villain or a goodie when you voice the kids? What do you want to be?

Oh, I think I'd rather be the villain. I think I would rather be a villain too. I want to be, yeah. Puss in Boots, I'd have liked to be the villain in that. Do you know what I mean? It would be really fun. Oh, that does sound good. Yeah, no, probably the villain.

Or any of them, to be honest. I just, I don't mind being the weird, you know, there's always a dippy one, isn't there, that's like, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, that loves everyone and is all a bit like, ooh, ooh, ooh. That would be quite a fun character as well. My best friend's brother-in-law is the voice of Wallace. Which one doesn't speak, Wallace or Gromit? Wallace speaks, doesn't he? Gromit's the dog. So he's the voice of Wallace. And every now and again when you're around for dinner he just goes into wallace and it's like

it totally like i'm like no you're ben you can't what that's just what it is that's so cool yeah i mean that is on cool levels obviously really brilliant so that's where you're aiming sarah come on i mean i'm not gonna be an x-f and a superhero, so I might as well be that because that is really cool. Aim high, aim high. Sarah, in your book, you give the most amazing tip. I just loved it. I think it's genius, which is never view a property on a beautiful sunny day. Is that a mistake that you've made many times? Well, no, I've sort of learned over the years. But yeah, you should never do that because you will end up living in a dustbin that you bought for like half a million pounds going,

why did I do that? Because in the depths of winter. On a beautiful day, everything is beautiful and you can be kind of tripped. You need to go back in the rain, always go back in the depths of winter beautiful day everything is beautiful and and you can be kind of tricked you need to go back in the rain always go back in the rain and it's really miserable with a small thin t-shirt in the rain so you're a bit cold going and then if it's with a small child moaning at you saying i'm hungry the whole time yeah and then feed them loads and loads of opal fruits, except the starburst.

Lots of sweets on the way. There'll always be opal fruits. It's ridiculous, silly renaming nonsense. Yeah, so feed them loads of sweets. And then if they wet themselves on the way, great. And then you've got the full experience. And if you still want to buy it, at the end of all of that, it's your

dream home it's a good yeah oh well never mind a beautiful day i think this has been a beautiful chat so thank you so much sarah for chatting to us today thank you so much for asking thank you what fun thank you bye