The Netmums Podcast - S15 Ep7: Sarah Beeny with son Charlie: Tackling tough topics as a family

Episode Date: March 4, 2025

In this episode of The Netmums Podcast, Wendy and Alison are joined by the fabulous television presenter Sarah Beeny and one of her four sons, Charlie Beeny, for a very lively chat about parenting, communication and tackling tricky topics at home. Sarah shares insights from her new podcast, ‘Seriously?! With Sarah Beeney’, where she dives into conversations with her family about everything from sexting and OnlyFans, to gender identity and the menopause. They talk about how their open communication style has fostered a supportive environment for discussing sensitive subjects, allowing for honest conversations that many families shy away from. Highlights of the episode: - The Importance of Openness: Sarah and Charlie discuss how their family dynamic encourages awkward conversations, breaking down barriers around difficult topics. - Parenting Challenges: The pair reflect on the evolving nature of parenting and how Sarah's approach has changed as her children have grown. - Family Band: Navigating life when your kids and husband are living the rockstar lifestyle as touring musicians with band The Entitled Sons - Positive Role Models: They explore the impact of role models in today’s society, particularly in relation to young boys and the influence of figures like Andrew Tate. - Lessons Learned: Sarah reveals what she's learned from Charlie, whilst Wendy and Aliosn put Charlie on the spot to find out what he’d most like to change about Sarah’s parenting! Stay connected with Netmums for more parenting tips, community support, engaging content: Website: netmums.com / Instagram: @netmums  Proudly produced by Decibelle Creative / @decibelle_creative

You're listening to the Netmums podcast with me, Wendy Gollich, and me, Alison Perry. Coming up on this week's show... A bit like dogs, actually. They're the same, aren't they? I always think children are a bit like that, particularly boys, you know. I always think when people say, how do you deal with four boys? I'm like, well, you just feed them well, you run them twice a day like a puppy, and so you exercise them, and then you give them good food and plenty of sleep. You're making me feel very intelligent.

Hello, folks. Welcome to another episode of the Netmums podcast. Now, Alison and I were chatting just before we started recording because we had this guest on 18 months ago. And it's made us realise how much changes in 18 months. Yeah. Yeah. I was just thinking about this, how my twins were about to start school. And I was, you know, they're six now and they're in year one. And it really made me realise how much easier life feels now compared to 18 months ago. And so I guess I just feel like it's important to acknowledge that. And if anyone's listening

who has currently got young preschool kids and they're at the coalface and they're just feeling like this is hard I'm here to tell you from this side of the podcast to the other it gets easier well let's find out if the last 18 months has got easier for our guests give us her showbiz intro Aston here's her showbiz intro, Alison. Here's her showbiz intro. Yes, we've got a returning guest this week. And she's brought someone with her this time because we're joined by television presenter Sarah Beeney

and her 19-year-old son, Charlie. Now, Sarah's brilliant new podcast, Seriously, sees her jump feet first into some tricky and sometimes awkward conversations with her sons. Topics that they cover include things like sexting, gender and the menopause. Sarah and Charlie, welcome to the Netmums podcast. Thank you very much. Thank you. Hi, hello. Lovely to be here.

Thank you for joining us. So let's start by talking about the podcast. Tell us what inspired you. Were you just having a chat around the dinner table and thought this is gold we should record this or did you create a podcast to give you a reason to discuss tricky topics that you felt we weren't talking about? It definitely wasn't my idea to talk about the menopause. No, when the idea was kind of created, I was definitely excited about it. I thought it sounded really fun. It probably does a little bit of both of those things, actually.

I mean, it was things that we talked about anyway and there were moments where I thought, God, this... And sometimes we'd have conversations and then I'd mention it to other friends and they'd go, God, I haven't talked about that. And I'd think, oh, God god maybe we should all talk more and um but then also to be honest recording the podcast is really enjoyable because because you get them like kind of you get to sit down and actually really have a conversation and and like really dig deeper it's a fairly extreme length

to have gone to just to get your kids in the same room as you and have a chat you know you know they did to do it where you can but yeah i mean i suppose we it's it's much more kind of sort of a uh sort of considered way of talking whereas normally it'll be snippet bits of conversation here and there but yeah i mean i do think that we don't all talk as much as we should and one of the things i am aware of the fact that with the kids because charlie is one of he's got three brothers there's four of them when you do talk about something it's always better after you've talked about it you kind of go oh is that such a relief we've talked about this yeah i mean especially when there's just something that's that everyone knows it's like an elephant in the room and no one wants to talk about it and then you suddenly do it there's things that

we've spoken about on the podcast that we've never spoken about in real life just because we didn't get around to it or possibly they didn't want to bring it up and I've brought it up and then and then I learn and that's the thing that I think is really important and exciting for me, is that we all think there's this generation gap, and I hear it a lot where people go, oh, we think this, and then we have an opinion, as I say we, people of my age have an opinion as to how younger people might think or what they think, but we have it from our point of view

and then when you see it from their point of view and if everybody took other people's points of view on board sometimes you go oh I'm actually oh yeah that isn't right actually so it's learning from from them and then you learn to go oh actually I think I'm stuck in my ways and actually I hadn't thought about it like that. And that's actually a way of looking at it. Yeah. Now, Charlie, you said that you were excited to do the podcast. Was there any arm twisting involved?

I mean, is it not a bit uncool to do a podcast with your mum? Well, I mean, I didn't find it too uncool. I thought it was all right. I mean, it's going to be as uncool as I make it if I say uncool things, isn't it? I'm looking at it. I like that. But no, I mean, there wasn't really... I actually was on board from the start.

I thought it would be pretty funny. We've always had a difficult dynamic as well. So we're in a band, We've always had a difficult dynamic as well with, because we're, so we're in a band and we've been trying to juggle the kind of Sarah Beeney's new life in the country, the TV show, and the fact that we're also trying to be in a band and they don't, the two images don't really add up. And I feel like this, I feel like this was a good opportunity to kind of

just explain it all kind of have a get get the personalities actually out there it is it is a nice actually that in a way because on a podcast that's what one thing I love about podcasts is because it's not really edited I mean you might if might, if you kind of, I don't know, you drop your computer, you might edit that bit out, but it's not really edited. And so it's a longer form of a conversation, whereas in a TV show, you've got to cut it to get to the point and cut the line. And so, yeah, I sort of think it enables you

to cover subjects more honestly and in a more rounded way. It probably helps because the band that they've got is with um their dad my husband as well so there's a lot of intergenerational stuff going on because he's basically my husband and their dad is well he's basically a rock star with them and so you know that's very kind but i I'm not sure we can go that far yet. Maybe rock, not star. A rock people. One day, one day. So do your two younger boys appear on the podcast as well, or is it just Billy and Charlie?

At the moment it's Billy and Charlie because they're at school, and so it's easier to have Billy and Charlie write music and record music and everything with Graham more, and the other two come in when they can and then play, obviously, and write stuff. But it's, you know, time... Juggling being at school is almost impossible to do, and then adding the podcast on top of what we're already trying to do

with the band makes it almost impossible. So that's why it's us. Plus, I think those two wouldn't be as funny as us. That's probably true. No, Sid will be there. I'm joking, I'm joking. I'm sure they'd be great. They probably will do an appearance.

Graham was in the last couple and actually it was really fun with him. So they do want to do it and they will, but half time's taken up because they've got a very big gig on and and you know there's a lot of other things you know the diary juggle is the diary juggle there aren't many school kids who are also trying to be in gigs and be in a band so as you said that's a big enough juggle without hurling a podcast at them yes yeah that is the truth so we tend to record it and also i feel like if you're at school talking about some of the things that we talk and going into school and having your friends go

that was that was nice um that you were talking about that i feel like it would be harder to to deal with yeah i can see that um like charlie growing up have you always been the kind of family that talk about everything and anything around the dinner table? Has it been kind of like an oversharing situation growing up, or has it been all right? Yeah, it's been an oversharing situation. But I don't think that's a bad thing. We've just learned to be oversharing as well,

not just let other people be oversharing with us. I think it's the right way to be oversharing, to be honest. You can close the conversation down always, can't you? Or you can just leave if it's going too much. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, there has been a lot of openness, maybe too much openness. But, you know, it's really interesting that I found

when they were really little is, you know, when a conversation opened up and you were kind of like, oh, should we go here? My brother once said to me when they were really small, he said, because he's got slightly older kids, and he said, if they ask you a question, don't skirt round it. And I hear about people who, you know, their parents ask, you know, their children ask them a question

and they make up some amazing not-truth. And he just went, no, just go in and tell the truth, just factually. Don't kind of, don't go round it know so if they ask a very personal question then then just say it just say the fact and and normally what and i did find when they were little you know i remember i remember when um i brought laurie back from uh hospital which is like my youngest. So they were only we. They were like two, four, and five, I think, or something like that. And they said, oh, how did the baby get in your tummy? And I thought, here we go. So, yeah, so that was, but I just, you just go for it.

You just say it. And then as soon as you say it, they just went. That's all right. I've got a friend who says just go ultra biological in that situation just go with the biology go with the science and you'll be okay yeah no feeling one of my old editors got herself into such a pickle with this because when her kid asked that question she said mommy and daddy have a special cuddle and that then the baby's put in and then the kid in supermarket of choice don't know which one basically they were in the queue and there was a couple in front of them hugging and she was like mommy is that one of those special cuddles that makes babies it's like yeah just tell them the truth yeah yeah so you kind of went for the no topic

is off limits theory yeah always actually and and i guess there's a sort of biology thing which is actually easier to do but sometimes it's the how you feel that you need to share. I think as a kid, though, anything's only weird if your parents have implied that it's an uncomfortable topic. Then it's an uncomfortable topic. If a parent goes, no, no, then just talks about it naturally, then the kid will go, oh, yeah, that's completely normal, and that's it. Yeah, because I think children, they kind of relate to how you feel

more than what you say you know you often hear people say this and i think this is really true is that children don't listen to when you say to them don't do that they copy how you behave so if you're very rude to everyone but you say you must be polite they're just going to be really rude to everyone because they see you doing that rather than what they hear and what they witness. I once saw a video of someone speaking to their baby and their baby was all all right. And they went, oh, you're such a horrible, horrible, disgusting little baby.

The baby was kind of loving it. And then they went, you're so nice. You're such a nice baby they obviously hated it so i think that pretty much sums it up yeah that proves it yeah a bit like dogs actually they're the same aren't they i always think children are a bit like they're particularly boys you know they're a bit like dogs you have to i always think when people say how do you deal with four boys i'm like well you just feed them well you run them and twice a day take them out twice a day yeah twice a day like a puppy

and and so you exercise them and then you give them good food and plenty of sleep and make me feel very intelligent he's a bit outnumbered bless him being the mum of four boys has it been important to you to raise them as feminists or is that something that you haven't felt the need to introduce into their lives? Again, in a way, I think you just are the way you are. Someone once said to me after the absolutely appalling, terrible situation with that poor, poor girl, Sarah Everard. And I had a journalist who said, how are you going to not bring your boys up to be rapists? And I was like, what? Like, that was, that's just such a weird thing to ask. I mean, I mean, just by making them into normal people that don't you know that that's a

bizarre situation and they said at the time they'd been at school and and there was a people at school who were saying oh you have to be really careful because every boys are rapists and they were like mum why what what is this i was, that was a bad time for boys. That was a bad time. I mean, I do think they are quite feminist, though, if I'm honest. But not because I've said you must be a feminist. And I don't use the word feminist very often. I use the word equal a lot.

Because I think I'm an equalist rather than a feminist. I believe everybody should have equal... They are equally... They're not the same, but they should be equal they are equally they're not the same but they should be equal so so i guess i i i don't think i i've never liked girls clubs but i don't really like boys clubs you know i don't i don't think i just have people clubs you know people who like art don't have a girls art club and because then you can't say we're not allowed a boys art club but we can have a girls art club and because then you can't say we're not allowed a boys art club but we can have a girls art club I'm like why can't you just have an art club and then people who

like art can all come I always think this is weird about you know like the scouting association now like scouts and beavers girls and boys can join which is great but then you've got like brownies and guides and only girls get to go to those clubs and it's like this feels really outdated can we not just have all of the kids going to our club right yeah i sort of agree with you and i actually think this is probably going to get me cancelled actually that's easy i'm going to say it anyway oh no you can say it on the podcast because then if it's really bad we can cut it out well then because it's on our podcast not yours that's what you're saying we'll cut it out if it's really bad Sarah say it and I think it's um I think not using the word actress I I know we now have to say actor but I I sort of think I don't know

why girls have to pretend to be boys to be equal I'm not sure why actors didn't have to be actresses if we're going to equal it out i don't why do we cancel out the girl version of it and they do we need a new a new name that is like a neutral yeah i think having girls as actors and having boys other way around made it having boys as actors and girls as actresses would you prefer to be a god or a goddess? Like, I don't think it's ever been a problem. No, that's... But then I don't... I wouldn't mind being a goddess, to be fair.

No, me neither. Seeing as we've got you talking about tricky topics, Sarah, you recently caused a right stir talking about Andrew Tate on Breakfast Deli. So was that taken out of context? Completely taken out of context. Actually, do you know, it's something I said in said in a is one of the things i really believe and and that is that we've we've kind of um got this difficult situation where where we are young people

as a massive generalization but their girls are drifting a bit left and boys are drifting a bit right, and that is not a good situation anyway. And I also think there's a very toxic right, but there's also a toxic left and the people in the middle are too frightened to have a conversation because they don't want to be seen as being toxic

in any way, so they're like, well, I just won't say anything. So that conversation came up because I think that there's a bit of a cancellation of of positive male role models and if you don't allow positive male role models you end up with toxic male role models because if you're a young teenage boy not sort of Charlie's age because he's old enough to know better but if you're like 12 or 13 and you don't talk 12 or 13 and you don't talk to your parents and you don't have conversations with people who are your role

models and if you don't have any good role models the danger is is that people who are talking like Andrew Tate they kind of go to them and the really dangerous thing I think about Andrew Tate is the fact that some of what he says is quite sensible, like go to the gym, get fit. But then with this kind of covering of some things that are quite, you know, you could go, yeah, that seems fair. Then in there, he curveballs in some properly appalling thoughts, which are absolutely toxic. They're just segwayed in and they're just thrown in a sort of so if you only said the toxic things everyone would just cancel him anyway because he's obviously ridiculous and absolutely absurd but he sort of dresses it up and and surrounds

it with some things that they don't sound that weird but there then he's like chucks in this terrible terrible language which makes young people who aren't able to pick through what's normal and not normal and what's okay and not okay and i think there's a danger that young boys might think oh oh that's okay then i agree with that when it's not okay and they shouldn't be in any way, you know, you can't say they're not exposed to these things, because they will, but they should be in a position where they've got a role model where they can go, obviously that's completely ridiculous,

obviously you're an idiot, and that was my point, but I did get a little bit, got taken out of context, and they cut to the end credits before i got my big point in so charlie charlie what's your take on it all how have you managed to navigate all of that through your teens well i think my parents are pretty positive role models so and that's always been helpful and then i think i'm i've got quite a good support network of people that mean that i've never had to turn to someone like andrew tate um but that's not that's not to say that i haven't Rwy'n credu bod gen i gymaint o gymorth cymorth da o bobl. Mae'n golygu nad oeddwn i wedi cael mynd i fynd i rywun fel Andrew Tate. Ond nid yw hynny i ddweud nad ydw i wedi mynd drwy fy tîns

a chael rhai sylwadau eithaf anodd yn ymddygiad i mi gweithio i allu gweithio â phwy ydw i a beth ydw i. Ond rwy'n teimlo bod hynny'n rhan o fywio ac yr un peth y gallwch chi ei wneud But I feel like that's part of growing up, and all you can do is really try and get to who you are and be the right person really quickly. Yeah, and if you can talk about those things, I suppose that's what I feel. If you can come home and say how you feel about something. So I, back on the subject, I said to the boys,

I was being really rude about him saying how awful and dreadful and toxic he was and they said have you ever watched any of his videos and I went no I just heard he's toxic and they showed me one and I was like oh well that one seems okay and then they showed me the others and I went that's why I hate

him but you know that's when I reached this conclusion because I only thought he only said the toxic things then I that's when I reached this conclusion because I had only thought he only said the toxic things because I never actually was the thing about him talking about how he was pro-choice and he made some pretty good points about it and then the next and then you swipe one down and he was talking about I can't remember what it was it was something about just very sexist yeah yeah like something really How can you get from one to the other? How does that even work?

But he does it. But like you said, Sarah, that is actually the man's strength. That's what he gets. He reels you in with something that's, ah, okay, maybe he's not quite as big a dick as I thought he was. And then boom, when you're in,

he throws something completely toxic at you. And for people our age, that's okay, because we can see that and go, oh, yeah, you were just using that to reel us in. And once you've got your thoughts together, or you've got people to talk to, so by 19, Charlie's kind of like, oh, you know, that makes sense. But what if you're little and you don't,

haven't had anyone talk about the right to have a you know to pro-life or not pro-life no one if no one's ever said that to you if your parents have never had a discussion with you about it where do you know what to know yeah um now charlie you've already mentioned that you've got a really good support network and your parents have brought you up really well. What do you think has been the biggest challenge for you in the last 10 years or so growing up? We so often talk to parents about the challenges that they face. But as a child growing up into an adult, what have been the challenges that you've faced?

The challenges that I've faced? The challenges that I've faced? I mean, I know you hate bringing it up because you're well over it now and you're kind of at the other side, but I felt like you having cancer was a difficult time for all of us. I think social media, especially when we were in lockdown, was, I mean, there's a whole generation of people that for six months,

all they did was watch TV and play games. And I feel like that was pretty difficult, especially when we got out the other side and I was trying to communicate with people. Have a real conversation. Yeah, but I would say that's two things that were pretty hard to... I mean, social media is a difficult one because we all know it's so bad for your mental health. It has little advantages. It's nice. I don't think social media is bad for your mental health.

It's overuse. Overuse of social media is bad for your mental health i think overuse overuse of social media is bad for your mental health yeah and it's your reliance on it and i think that that is a danger because you know i was really lucky because i'm old enough to remember before the internet and you know when i was a teenager there were no cameras around so there's no thank the lord for that there are some things i'm really glad there's not photos of it's a problem as well yeah everything that you every terrible thing that you've done is now recorded on someone's phone somewhere what 40 years ago if you did something

you're probably gonna i mean you might get a bit of bad rep but that's not it's not going to, I mean, you might get a bit of bad rep, but that's not, it's not going to be, come up when you're in 20 years' time, is it? Yeah, when you embarrass yourself when you were younger, when I was younger, then, you know, that was just that. You woke up the next morning and thought, oh, God, who saw? And then you figured out who saw and you said, that was all right, only five people saw that and that was that. No one else saw.

Yeah, exactly. So, Charlie, if you could, this is the bit where you get to make your mum cry or shout at you, depending on what you fancy saying. So if you could thank her for one aspect of her parenting, what would you thank her for? And if you could ever so tactfully tell us something you wish she'd done a bit differently what would it be okay um well i guess i'm i'd like to thank

you for being so open and talking and talking to us honestly and not kind of leaving me out of the loop with anything because i feel like i've benefited from that and something that i would gyda phethau oherwydd rwy'n teimlo fy mod wedi cyfrifo o hynny ac rywbeth y bydda i'n newid uh duw rydym yn troi ar y sbwrdd yma rhywbeth rydych chi'n newid bydda i'n newid um rydych chi bob amser yn dweud eich bod chi'n gobeithio fy mod yn fwy cyflawniol ie rwy'n gweithio bob amser yn dweud eich bod chi'n gobeithio fy mod yn fwy cyflawniol I would change. You always say that you wish I'd be more consistent. Yeah, I do always say that you wish you'd be more consistent. In what way? Well, she used to threaten, like, the most ridiculous punishments.

Like, if we were going somewhere for, like, a week, say we were leaving home, going on holiday or something, she would threaten to not take us on holiday. That's standard. That's just standard parenting. When's that ever going to happen? When are you going to leave one child behind and then just go on holiday?

I've been tempted, I have to say. If you'd gone for something a bit more realistic. Yeah, I do remember pulling over once um we were driving down the most way and i was like i'm gonna pull over and leave you on the side of the m3 and they all just went no you're not and i went i will i will and and then you realize how ridiculous this because obviously you're not going to leave them but then again we also threatened to leave home and go and live somewhere else. And then we would kind of, I mean, that was never going to happen anyway, was it?

Actually, individually or as a group, did you all say at the same time, right, that's it, we're off? There were some individuals, there were some group efforts as well. It was always the packing. they'd pack and it would be sort of like six pairs of pants, an apple and, you know, I don't know, some Weetabix. And they'd be off and I'd be like, OK. And then when it was one of them who packed and went and they'd go down, we had this long drive in London, to get to our house you had to go down this little path. And so you just ignore them

while they packed and off they went and then just as they kind of went around the corner of the garden I'd be like if it was one of them I'd say to one of their brothers can you go and lean over the fence and just check where they're going just don't tell anyone just go, don't let them see you just check that they don't get further

and they'll always go halfway and then hide behind a tree and as long as they don't get to the road come and tell me if they get to the road and so yeah you kind of have to call their bluff and see who it is an endless bluff, I remember running away as a child and hiding and obviously I'm not going to go anywhere

I was just going to get somebody so probably empty threats is something that if they had been more proper threats than they had actually been seen you actually wanted to be dropped off on the side of the m3 so sarah that's what you should have done no probably not probably not but something that something that um i had known so that next time i didn't i wasn't as i don't know much of an idiot the next time i do know parents who faked the

if you don't hurry up and get your stuff together i'm leaving without you i know a couple of people who have got in the car driven off around the corner and sat outside the house for a minute and then gone back in back aren't they that's the thing that's the thing is if they go around and then come back and then you go to the place it it's like, well, what's really, what have I lost here? A few extra minutes of chilling. And a mild case of panic when they disappear. Years ago, I thought what you should do is you should plan an amazing trip somewhere. Right, you know, to the swimming pool or something like that and go, right, we're all going to the swimming pool.

When you know they're not going to cooperate and get in the car on time. And then you say, well, that's too late. We're not going. But you weren't going to go anyway. So you know they're not going to cooperate and get in the car on time and then and then you you say well that's too late we're not going but you weren't going to go anyway so then you haven't lost out either so yeah an amazing holiday you should say right we're all going on this incredible holiday we're going to go kayaking and have a brilliant time and then you say but if you behave we won't go but you don't have anything planned because someone's going to do something wrong aren't they and you go well that's a shame we're now not going kayaking anymore that's a pretty good pretty good i'm taking notes here i'm gonna try this with my kids yeah i should have done that i should have invented amazing things that we cancelled yeah well there's still time for us to do this allison

i know this is it i'm gonna do it i'm gonna do it um sarah it's clear that your boys have learned a lot from you um listening to charlie talk um but what's the one thing that you've learned from charlie oh god so many things so many things um uh well thanks well no yeah come on then you seem like you can't think of any uh no i've learned i've learned a lot about lot about some preconceived ideas that I had. So he told me about, he's on the podcast, we talked about OnlyFans. And I had before just thought, ridiculous. I mean, absolutely horrendous that people are doing this.

And then he talked about it and I was like actually and I really changed my mind I thought actually you know that's better than a lot of things yeah I think you're being paid for what you want to do so I've changed my mind on that so I guess um I guess I've I've he's taught me to see things from a younger point of view. And a lot of the really difficult, complicated things that are happening now that weren't around when I was young, I find the grammar of being... What's it called when you're not a man or a woman?

You're a... They, them. They, them. So we talk about that. I find the grammar incredibly complicated because I'm like, are there two people there or one person there? And he just thinks I'm just being ridiculous.

He's like, oh, for goodness sake, it's so simple. So I've learnt that. I'm like, you're right. It is pretty simple, though. It's not like you have to be really intellectual to do it. But then you... But then I don't want to upset people, so I'm kind of like... I don't think you can ever upset anyone though it's not like you have to be really intellectual to do it but then you but then i don't want to upset people so i'm kind of like i don't think you can ever upset anyone if you're

if your sentiment is right i just i just think that if you get that's interesting because generationally i agree with your mum there i'm always really worried about upsetting people by getting it wrong so it's comforting to know that you're saying as long as you've got the right aim with what you're trying to say and your intentions are good then you're okay yeah 100 percent 100 okay you've got the right intention and they're very cool about i like he's they're very cool about all those kind of issues about you know being gender fluid and and being sexually fluid and i'm kind of like god it's so liberating i'm kind of like yeah i suppose you know, being gender fluid and being sexually fluid. And I'm kind of like, God, it's so liberating. I'm kind of like, yeah, I suppose...

It's just like, how does it affect you, do you know what I mean? Yeah. So why would you even care if it doesn't affect you in any way whatsoever? Yeah. You've got these people that are spending hours and hours commenting on videos, this is so wrong, this is so... If you find it so wrong just don't spend the time and just ignore it it doesn't and live your own life do you know

i mean i think it's so great that you cover so many of these topics on your podcast um you know things that i reckon most parents and kids never talk about really what's been the most like the cringiest thing that you've covered so far oh i don't mean anything that's just made your toes and it might be different for each of you you probably have to watch the podcast i don't want to repeat it to be honest to be honest there's some stuff that yeah that i'm that i'm not even going to risk saying now because I, yeah. Can you give us a rough area of what the topic was? Uh, I think, I think,

um, kind of, we have talked about porn, haven't we? We've talked. Porn was a pretty difficult subject to cover. Maybe that's, that's,

um, that's a problem that it's so difficult to cover, but there was. And there's a little bit on on admitting like for talking about first relationships yeah and and and just hearing about mum's first relationships and her and their relationships yeah and then loving how totally flummoxed you both are by this you're you're both like you're cringing yeah but when but on the when we're recording the podcast you kind of these subjects come up and then someone starts talking

and i'm like should we cut should we cut and then we kind of go and then oh yeah the sexting thing as well that was pretty bad you seemed horrified by that yeah that you're sexting before you even go on a date thing yeah yeah you two comparing your idea of dating was really eye-opening what sarah you thought of dating versus the boys that was particularly eye-opening mine's more kind of sepia you know film from the 1950s yeah yeah i think that's i think there's some things that are different yeah yeah so you know it's it's good though because i suppose um you only see life for your own uh spectacles don't you and your own experience so you have your experience of life and that's how you see everything and when you can add in somebody else's experience of how they see it

sometimes that makes you realise that... I think we're talking too much as if we're wise people and we're actually not very wise. I feel like I've said some things today where I've been like, I'm clutching at straws here trying to be wise. Yeah, that is, yeah, we're not very wise. Let's just not do that anymore. No, I thought it was clever what you were saying.

Oh, good. But I thought it was clever and I'm not very wise. So I don't know whether wise people would think it's clever. Are there many wise people? Do you have a lot of people who are very wise watching this? I mean, the Netmums audience, they're a pretty wise bunch. But also... They're savvy.

They're just regular mums. They're going to have to listen to a 19-year-old try and be clever. I'm apologising in a different way. I've already done it. Really sorry. Really sorry. But some of it is insightful. Some of the stuff you say, especially on the podcast, is insightful.

Yeah, I mean, we also talk about things that we don't talk about just because they're kind of tricky, you know death and and and dementia we did an episode on which that's something we don't all talk about and that you know everybody is affected by dementia someone's everyone's got either a grandparent or a parent or or you know some relative or a friend's grandparent or friend's parent every everybody is in some ways affected by it and that's you know it's not a subject that anyone talks about I don't know anybody who hasn't got somebody they know or someone they're related to or somebody they know who's related to you know we're all touched by it aren't we and yeah so we talk about that yeah there's definitely insightful moments I mean

there was there's one episode where i think it's billy he's talking about um lying and he says something really good he said i think he says something about it depends on why you're lying whether it's to protect somebody or i guess cover something up and it's like i don't know do you ever have moments where you're listening to them talk sarah and you're thinking oh you're you're you're actually a really good human like I've created some nice clever humans here you can't say you can't say oh my kids are amazing really honestly I actually quite I do quite a lot but not just on the podcast I do have it's the best thing about having there's a lot of moments where we're pretty stupid and i mean it definitely uh it's definitely uh over 50

pretty stupid we managed it we managed to put on our put on our best uh brains for for the podcast I think I think that they are pretty stupid at times but I do think they also I do have times in real life as well as on the podcast where I kind of think yeah you know that they're really nice

you know I know I'm biased everyone thinks their kids are nice but you know they're kind of kind and wise and they work hard and and what else can you want really kind we've just established that I'm not very wise but so how much of what you've said has ended up on the cutting room floor, as it were? Is there some bits where you've thought, nah, this has got to go? No, not much, actually. It's recorded almost as it is, and so very little is on the...

There's bits where I thought they should go on the cutting room floor, and then Jonathan, who's our lovely producer has gone okay like and then he argues it round and he's like I think it's really good and yeah and then we end up releasing things to the public that we would never have ever said no he's just really persuasive that's the trouble Jonathan is really awful and he's like, and the really slightly difficult bits, he'll send a little cut and he'll go, is this okay?

And I'll go, and then I play it to all the boys and Graham and I'm like, is this okay? Maybe once or twice we've gone,

oh, that's, I mean, that's a lot, isn't it? I'm not even sure it would be entertaining for people to listen to.

I think they would be winning as much as we would. Yeah, not educational, not entertaining, just really pointless. Just that. Just really unnecessary. But you've had a really, really amazing response to the podcast, haven't you? Looking on Instagram posts and comments, reviews. People are like, oh, this is amazing. Listening to this, these conversations between, you know, parents and their kids. Yeah, it's been an amazing response, actually.

Much better than I imagined. I mean, I thought some people would like, I hoped some people would like it. But it's been an amazing response. And I think the biggest thing that I've had a lot of people contact me saying that they've listened to it, like on, you know, in the car or something or in the kitchen with their other people in their family or other people in their household. And then they've ended up spending the next two hours talking about that. And whether they agree with us or don't agree with us it's open the conversation so they'll go afterwards they'll say I don't agree with that or I do and then all of a sudden

they're having the conversation so the podcast by didn't just existing has meant that they've ended up talking and I'm like whoa that's it it's done job's done job's good that's so good um now Sarah last time we spoke to you billy was about to start university um i remember you talking about it was quite a big emotional step at the time how is it now 18 months later well he um yeah so he started university at goldsmiths and uh and then but the band had just taken off we were we were on tour so he was trying to start university and we were also on a uk tour that um at the exact same time yeah so which was complicated he lasted at uni for one term one term yeah um because we will go i mean every weekend we were on and he just

couldn't do both of it and he was spending so much of his um like he was racking up so much debt doing something that he couldn't like jump all the way into so he decided to so weird that he chose a rock star lifestyle over university no figure you would have known um and i think it was really hard because he got to because his youngest two brothers were well you were at school as well actually at the time so all the three of them were at school in somerset and he was trying to be at university in london so for practicing he'd come down to somerset twice a week to practice and then and then on tour at the weekend so he was missing every friday and saturday at university and every tuesday and th weekend so he was missing every Friday and Saturday at university and every

Tuesday and Thursday so he did a bit of remote he got to hardly any lectures and he was catching up online but he didn't you know he met people but he couldn't go out and socialize because he was on tour and then and then he got to the end of the term and I think there were some people he met at university actually who just said why are you never here and, well, because I'm on tour with my band. And they were like, oh, God, you're that band. Oh, and they listened. They went, God, that's amazing. They went, why are you at university?

And he said, well, because I was going to go to university. And they said, but when we leave university in three years' time, we're hoping we might get the opportunity to maybe be in a band like yours. So why are you at university as well as doing what we're hoping to do in three years' time? And then he thought god i'm going to be 60 grand in debt and which is what you end up with from university don't you and meanwhile you know the priority was either going to be the band or university but university you could always do another time and the band opportunity was there then and actually i think it was the right choice because since then it's kind of flown since then more and more,

and they did another UK tour in the autumn, and they've got... And we're so fortunate as well that, obviously, we... I mean, Mum's known by some people, so it kind of got us, gave us a leg up so that we could, like, be... We could kind of start from not scratch. We kind of had this thing so that we could just really focus on the music and really, really go for it instead of trying to work out what we do

and how we do it and all of those things. It was really nice. Yeah, I think... I think, well, they entered a competition to play at Glastonbury and won that, and so that kind of took them a bit to another level and I suppose you know in life you get opportunities this is what I'd say to anyone in life everybody has opportunities and some people get some one way and some people get some another way but but you kind of have to take the opportunity when it's there and the opportunity was there then and it probably wouldn't be in two years time so take it while it's there basically

so if you've got all four at home at the moment yeah yeah they're all at home so your big emotional step lasted about a term and then you had them all back under one move less because I was on tour with them because I quite like a bit less so I go on tour and they print all these T-shirts. Because Charlie did screen printing at school. So he came back with this screen and was like, oh, let's screen print these. So they printed all these T-shirts. So basically I get to go and hang around with them and stand behind a table selling their T-shirts, which is brilliant. Amazing.

So I'm having a really nice time. It's very easy selling somebody else's t-shirts you just stand there going there we are there's the t-shirt I'm like it's a really simple job that I like no responsibilities it's not my problem I don't really know anything about it I'm like what button do I press on this some kind of app thing they say here's the phone I go press press press love it that's amazing that's my kind of job so before we let you go we have to ask about celebrity bake-off and what it's like being in the tent well uh yeah it's amazing actually it wasn't what I was expecting it's really fun I mean I'm I'm a terrible cook but but I do sort of think that if you if you focus and concentrate enough you can anyone can cook anything because if you've got a recipe and you follow it as long as you can read and

understand how weighing scales work and you're patient enough then you can cook my problem is that word patience I don't have much patience so um I'm not going to say it was all successful because uh the patience but even in the tent which was really nice because I didn't have to do anything else it's not like you can it's not like you think oh I better go and send an email which is why most of my cooking goes wrong because I think oh I'll just put that in and then I'll just go and send these emails and I think oh it's burnt um but you know there was none of that so it's sort of focused but even there there were so many other things going on in the room, in the tent rather, not the room.

It felt like a room. But I kind of, like, got distracted. And then you think, oh, it must be long enough. And then it wasn't long enough. I didn't cook things long enough. Anyway, but it was good. And I did better than I expected, to be honest. It's funny you mention you're not a good cook

because your boys sort of take the mickey out of your cooking on the podcast, don't they? There was an episode where they were talking about the soup that you make with mouldy onions and all sorts. Not mouldy. Okay, so the truth is, if she really wants to cook, it's always going to be really nice.

You are when you want to be a good cook. The problem is, then again, you don't have very much patience. And normally things rack up in the fridge and then mum won't really want to cook, so she'll do like a, oh, well, that looks all right, that looks all right, whizz it all up in a blender. And then, I mean, if it looks bolognese then put it on some spaghetti if it resembles that a little bit or if it's more soup like obviously that's a soup is it more or is it less that's that's the options and i really hate waste as well so so um bolognese is normally if there's any kind of bits of old like cooked broccoli or vegetables.

You're making it sound even worse than it actually is. Yeah. Whiz them through the blender, whack them in the bolognese, stick more chilli in. We're fine, you know. There's very little waste in our house. Oh, yeah, and then bolognese is just chilli the next day because all you need to do is add in those. Yeah, put some beans in. Beans.

Serve it with rice. Boom. Two meals in. two meals nothing that can't be fixed with chili well i agree with you on that actually that is so true and possibly hot honey chuck some hot honey on it and the world's best place it's fine totally there's a there's yeah honey and chili pretty much much fixes almost anything a bit of blob of cream that also also fixes things, doesn't it? Or cheese. Cheese fixes most things. Fixes most things. Cheese is good. If in doubt, a splash of sherry. Oh, well, Charlie and Sarah, thank you so much for joining us today.

It has been fabulous to chat to you both. Thank you so much for having us. Thanks for having us. I hope you're not cooking dinner, Sarah. Bye. Don't forget, you can get in touch with us on all social channels, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. Just type in Netmoms and you'll find us.

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