The Netmums Podcast - S18 Ep10: SHANE AND SHEENA LYNCH: Raising grounded teens, the ‘nepo baby’ debate and family life behind the spotlight

Episode Date: April 14, 2026

As your children grow into teenagers, knowing when to step back can be one of the hardest parts of parenting.This week on The Netmums Podcast, Louise Burke and JB Gill are joined by Boyzone’s Shane Lynch and his wife Sheena, from ITV2’s The Real Housewives of Cheshire, as they share what family life really looks like behind the scenes while raising two teenage daughters.From earning their own money to finding their own path, Shane and Sheena explain how they’re raising their girls to stay grounded – even while growing up in the spotlight. They talk about social media, teenage ambition and why boundaries still matter, even when they’re pushed.They also share their honest take on the ‘nepo baby’ debate, and the reality behind the assumptions people make about their family life.At the heart of the conversation is that shift so many parents recognise – moving from being hands-on to learning to let go. Sheena describes the hardest part of that transition as “fear”, admitting she’s the worrier at home, while Shane takes a more relaxed approach. Together, they reflect on what it really means to trust your teenagers, even when it’s not easy.The couple also open up about their relationship, including their separation during lockdown and how they found their way back to each other. It’s an honest look at balancing marriage, work and family life, and what it takes to stay connected through change.There are lighter moments too – from raising “girlie girls” and teenage humour to the reality of what comes next, including the thought of becoming empty nesters.Warm, relatable and full of real-life takeaways, this episode is a reminder that raising teenagers isn’t about control – it’s about guidance, trust and, sometimes, having the courage to let go.In this episode: Raising grounded teens – independence, work ethic and values Their thoughts on the ‘nepo baby’ debate Letting go and trusting your teenagers to find their own way Social media, smartphones and setting boundaries Supporting ambition without creating entitlement Parenting girls and navigating teenage dynamics Keeping your relationship strong through change Therapy, communication and modern family life Honest advice for parents – from early years to teens The Real Housewives of Cheshire is back on Tuesdays at 9pm on ITV2 and ITVX from next weekRead more expert advice at Netmums.com and join the conversation on social @Netmums.Got a parenting question or dilemma? Email us at [e-mail] – we’d love to hear from you.The Netmums Podcast – backed by experts, trusted by parents.Proudly produced by Decibelle Creative / @decibelle_creative

Hello and welcome back to the NetMums podcast where real parenting conversations happen. I'm Louise Burke, the editorial director at NetMums. And I'm J.B. Gild, dad of two TV presenter and pop star as well. And we're both just juggling our way through life, aren't we, Louise? Oh, yeah. We're here each week to talk openly and honestly about the things that actually matter to parents right now. Although this is actually the last episode of Series 18. I know. I can't believe it.

Well, it has been a blast. It's been amazing. And we are definitely going out on a high with a couple today who bring a brilliant mix of family life, fame, full on realness. And whether you're a fan or not of Irish pop band Boyzone or are obsessed with ITV2s, the real highest wives of Cheshire, then this is the place that you want to be. You're in the right place for a fantastic chat about parenting. Yes, we are talking to the glamorous Shane and Sheena Lynch, as well as getting. getting all the Cheshire Goss on the, you are glamorous, you two, don't look like that. They can't see the look, but we saw the look. As well as getting all the Cheshire Goss on the new TV series out this month, J.B. and I want to hear about how they raise grounded teens,

instilling values, respect and self-confidence, while also giving them room to grow and be themselves, which is always the sort of bit of a conundrum with teenagers. Shane and Sheena's marriage has had its ups and downs over time to, like any long-term relationship. So we'll be hearing about their advice on how to keep the family strong through change as well. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's all tricky stuff. But let's be honest, no one said parenting or even marriage was easy.

But we are all here for it, aren't we? We certainly are. Let's talk it out. Welcome Shane and Sheena. Hello. Welcome you two. It's lovely to have you. Lovely to be here. Thank you for having us.

Now, I can see you sat there. Obviously, listeners can't see you, but I can see you sat there in your lovely Cheshire home. I've just been watching the first episode of the series. Okay. I know it's very exciting. Very glamorous. You have two teenage girls in your family.

You've got Billy Ray 17, turning 18 later this year, and Marley May 13. You've also got your businesses. You've got the ITVU show that we just mentioned. and we've also got a very important upcoming Boyzone concert this June, which is very exciting. But there's lots going on, right? What does a normal day look like in your family household? Tell me, normal.

Like, I've got a war-for-war in my entire life. Yeah. I don't really know what that is. I can tell you what a day in our house looks like. I don't think it's normal. I don't think of the self that we are. In fact, I've always felt like the odd one out at like parents' evenings, to be honest. Right.

Really? Yeah, I've always felt like a kid. Like everyone looks like proper tend to be a grown-up. Yeah, yeah, yes. And I'm just like, oh, God, you guys look amazing and look like you really, really know what you're doing. And I just don't. So a particular day in the life of our household usually starts really early because both, the girls are still in education.

Billy's 17. She's at 6th form at the minute. Marley 13, so she's at secondary schools. So they both, I mean, I've got the training down quite well because they both get up and make themselves breakfast and sort themselves out for the day. Yeah, they're pretty independent. Yeah, I needed them to be, really. So we kind of set that emotion for girls are up, getting themselves together,

get themselves ready. Then there's a school run. and then it's literally I'm either going straight to work to the office or if I'm filming the show straight to some kind of location scene Shane usually is up, gym, out the door. Yeah, no messing about.

None, no, none. Do you gym at home or gym at, if you got one of those minutes? I'm always at a gym at home. That's one of the most priority things in my life because I am not the guy who comes home from anywhere to go back out again. So I am, worst thing in the morning, before I brush my teeth, put my shorts on, go straight into the gym and do whatever I can. Some days it's 20 minutes, some days there's an hour.

But I do try every single day to make sure I gym it out. Are you on a hardcore pre-concept prep routine? Like you detoxing, upping the weights? You know, weirdly, no, because I'm at a, great state at the minute. Like I've been kind of training solidly for a good year. This time a year ago, we flew to Cornwall, and we had a beautiful kind of weak, endish, long weekend down there,

and I realized how unfit I was. I was terrible, really, really in a, probably the worst shape of my life, actually. And one of those reasons really simple is I stopped driving race cars. And I always had a race car body shape and suit size. what that meant I had to fit into and I kept that. And all of a sudden, I didn't keep that no longer. And so years ago, I went, right, I've got to sort this out. And I tell you what, it took me a year pretty much to actually get into where I needed to be,

I wanted to be, and I'm there. So I'm actually lessening my gym intake at the moment, although we've only got two months before the boys on shows, but I'm actually, I'm good. I'm happy. You're good. You're looking good. You are looking good. You're looking good.

You're my feeling great. I wanted to start with parenting because, Sheena, you touched there on the girls and obviously the busy routines and sort of allowing them to be a bit more independent. There's lots of different types of parenting styles out there. And it sounds like you've probably perhaps gone through a few of them even. I mean, there's a dolphin, apparently, a lion, old school, like sort of disciplinarian. There's warriors. Wait, no, I'm not going to worry about this dolphin and lion. What's that?

Well, Louise, you can definitely help out there. So there's, yeah, there's all different approaches. So I think the dolphin, don't actually quote me on this. You might have to Google it a bit. Dolphins like gentle. Like you go with the journey with your child. And it's all about discovering. Yeah, we're not.

Yeah. So it's less about, yeah, it's less about getting, reaching the goal. It's more about the journey to the goal. And lion's a bit more fierce. So it's like once you've achieved, you're onto the next thing and the next thing. I think I've got it right. I like that. See, I didn't even know that. Yeah, and then obviously, like you've got your traditional sort of disciplinarian, like JAB said,

and then you've got some parents that just worry constantly about everything, and, you know, partly because we just consume so much information and told what to do. Okay, so you have your hand up there, you know, you're the sort of worrying. Shane's really relaxed, actually, in fact, super relaxed, whereas I'm the worrier, so I worry about everything. Yeah. What sort of thing have you been that's been at the top of your worry list recently? Oh my God. Right.

Where do I start? So with my eldest, it's like she's now moving into kind of adulthood phase in life. So she's not quite sure in terms of what she wants to do after sixth form. Yeah. So it's like, oh my God, what's she going to do? Yeah, yeah. And do you know what? I keep saying to myself, it's fine.

She's 17. Like, I didn't go to school. for what I'm doing now. So it's absolutely fine. But equally, I do like them to have a focus. So it's the worry about her. Also, she's learning to drive. And I'm also really worried about when she does pass, never going to see her again. And then literally she's going to be out doing what she wants. And that kind of scares me quite a bit. My younger one, I have a massive worry. Now, I will say, Both my girls are fiercely themselves and generally make great decisions. But my 13, there's so much influence out there in the world.

It's all great. And my worry is that she's not heavily influenced by her peers, that she focuses on the good, that she's got good voices in her head and not bad voices, telling her negative thoughts. You know, there's all that, am I a good parent? Oh my God, my list is endless, guys. Yeah, I can imagine. I mean, it is, like you say, it is a worry, I think for any parent,

no matter what sort of parenting style you take on. And, you know, I've got two, a boy and a girl, and they're probably, you know, about five or six years behind your two. But, you know, one of the things of the moment, they're into everything, you know, and they're doing acting and modelling and this and that and sport and whatever else. Are your two like that? Have they followed in your footsteps in any way

or shown any promises in that respect or are they kind of on their own path? I think in the early days, they kind of dipped their toe into performances, and then as they got into self-awareness and consciousness, I think, certainly out, as eldest Billy Ray stepped right out. She pulled right back and regressed a little bit,

just into herself, I think. Where the youngest Marley-May has always been on that performance tip, always kind of liked school performances and plays and all of that, and continues in stage. Schooling. Stage ed, state performances, all the after club stuff. Where Billy Ray Lynch, the older one, she's only now dipped her toes into it.

She's come back into it. Yeah, she's come back and come back strong. She went into Sixth Form. She went into... They did a whole performance at a theatre. They did Greece. Amazing. She was at the part.

She got the part. What was she? Sandra Dee. She played Rizzo. Rizzo. She played Rizzo. Oh, amazing. Even better.

She rediscovered her love. And she's got a real passion now for acting. So our younger one is musical theatre crazy. And that's what she wants to do. And then my 17-year-old Billy, she wants to do film and TV. So she's got herself an agent. She's now kind of really pushing for that career path. She's doing – also she's setting up her whole spotlight.

She's doing her show reels. She's really poor. She's really putting herself out there. She really isn't. And she has a fantastic singing. Both girls can sing fantastically. Yes, the answer is yes. Yeah.

And watch this space because you never know what happened. Yeah. Yeah. But obviously you guys have been through the industry throughout your whole career and still at it as well. You've seen obviously all sorts of sides of the entertainment industry. Is there any part of you that would rather they didn't follow your footsteps? Or are you quite happy that they followed your footsteps?

It's a tough world. It's a real, real tough world, that industry, you know? And regardless of how I think the outside onlookers look in and think what a beautiful, amazing champagne, caviar world and private jets it is, there are elements of that for sure, but it's goddamn hard work. Not necessarily only physical, but mentally you're under a lot of pressure. You'll know a lot of scrutiny. And you'll know a lot of kind of where the world is today, everybody has an opinion and they're ready to give it to you.

I think the world is getting more angry at the moment and the people are angry in it. And they can't wait to tell about themselves. So I think, you know, it is a different place to be. But I think level-headedly, they're quite strong girls. They understand, they've grown up reasonably in the industry. and they kind of know the backlash downfalls to it. So I guess they're more prepared than perhaps J.B. or I would have been back in the day coming from a normal household,

working household. Maybe they've seen it a bit more and understood it a bit more, you know? Yeah, absolutely. I do get concerned, I guess, as a mum of two girls. I know from my experience being in the industry, it's one of massive rejection. I'm not saying it's always. going to be rejection, but a lot of it is a big no. And judgment.

Yeah. Judgment. When you're constantly auditioning, you get a lot of notes and you get everything that maybe you consider negative about yourself. Sometimes you get that from other people in terms of how you look. You might hear from somebody, oh, you're not quite right for this part. We need somebody that's a little bit more, whatever the thing is. Tawler, shorter. Yeah, whatever. Whatever it is. So, yes, sometimes when you constantly hear that, I do worry about how that affects a person spiritually, how it affects them mentally. But all that I think is a parent is help nourish the strength, inner strength, help nourish that. Yeah, self-esteem. Help that flourish. Help them to listen to gut. That's massive.

that's big with me and my girls is listen to your gut. You know, she's always right, really. So instilling that in them. So I think once they have that, they'll be okay. And everyone's got me there and I'm ready to ever go at anyone. That's the thing. I was going to say, and it's something that, you know, Chloe and I think about a lot as well because, you know, of course,

we're in the industry and, like, for the two of you, that was something that you, you know, had to make a conscious choice to because it, to do even, because it wasn't necessarily going to be, oh, this is what you're going to do and mum and dad said that's what you're going to happen. In your situation, you've actually got an opportunity really to be able to share some of your pitfalls, you know, some of the things that you've found good, some of the things that you perhaps have found bad and you've always got, I suppose, that real life experience that the girls, over they want to or not, or like to think about it or not, can fall back on. And I think that's a really important thing to remember and cherish because

Not everybody has that. You know, like you said, Shane, I didn't have that growing up. And I think an amazing thing as well, what it sounds like for the two of you, I'd love for you to sort of expand on it, is that you're keeping both of them grounded. Well, you know, I think they do a great job themselves. I've got to give them credit. They are fantastic girls. And I think the grounding side of the thing is more, you know,

you're talking about your dolphin and your lion earlier. You know, I guess realistically there are elements of dolphin and elements of lion, without a doubt. And I think that just comes with age and processing in life. You know, for instance, when my girls were little and they fell over, it's the response to how when they fell, what is your response to their reaction? And I was very much a, all right, get up, shake it off, dust it off, as opposed to a, oh, are you okay, side of things. Yeah, you want them to be resilient. Yeah. Yeah, and they bounce well, let's put it that way.

They kind of bounce, they get back up again, and they have a nice little healing process within them to go, okay, let's shake that one off. Yeah, it's a hurt, but okay, let's move on. And I think that we've achieved that in them. And then little things like when they get to the point of, and it's not a simple little movements, but the girls' bedrooms, when they get on tidy and you're tidy in them, and they get on tidy and you're tidy in them, there's a process of how long do you do that for? And then one day, you don't tidy. And their own mess, they've got to sit in their own mess. And how long are they going to sit in their own mess for is now up to them.

They know how to, they've done 10 years of taking that item out of the wardrobe. They just never put it back in again. And now they have the next 10 years of practicing, taking it out, and putting it back in again. Little baby steps, even, you know, for our oldest now going to work, for instance. Yeah. Right. She got a job. She's going to work.

Now, it's inconvenient because she did. look at the bus route, how to get there, and what she just wanted, the job she wanted. So therefore, as parents, you go, okay, we'll drop you off and pick you up and drop you off and pick you up. And then at some point, you've got to make it all right. At some point, now we've got to look at, okay, this is not quite convenient for me anymore to do this job

because it's not on a bus route. I need to look at the next job, look at the next bus. And they're the little small steps of growing them into responsible adults, I think. Yeah, for sure. Well, I think as well, one thing, kids and I don't know if this is everyone's kids but the advice thing especially when it comes to the acting performance industry stuff I don't think they listen I don't think you sit in and giving them all the they don't listen they don't that my kids don't think I had a life before

then do you understand yeah yeah yeah they don't even consider that I did that went through that understand that. So, I mean, you can give them all the advice under the sun. They're not listening anyway. And you do have to wait for them to reach a certain path in their life that they go, perhaps I should ask mum or dad about that. Once they do that, oh, I am going to be there. But I promise you, they're not listening to it right now. They don't, you know, it's for anything. It's funny. You should say that because obviously, like, that was going to be in one of my questions about, Like you can't really tell a teen what to do because there's always going to be backlash. But I was remember something my dad used to say, which had real truth in it, in that he said,

if you want help, you can always ask me, I'm here. But he wasn't in his parenting style, not that he overthought it at all, that generation at all. But he would never like constantly be offering help. Because if we constantly offer help, you just sort of become, it's like immune to it. it or just expect it. But he said if I want help, ask for it and he'll help. But I think that was quite a good parenting lesson rather than serving it up the whole time for your children, but knowing that your children know it's there if they want it.

As a parent, there is a side of you that can't help but want to fix and want to. Yes, exactly. Exactly. You've still come in, aren't you? Like there's so many things that they'll come and talk about. I know, give it a couple of weeks. person that you think is amazing and your best friend, ain't that? Like, I promise you, I can see it now. But they're not listening to you. No. But you do want to get in and, but it's much better to let them learn on their own.

And let them ask. I was going to ask as well about how you're talking about raising your girls and you took very sort of fiercely about your girls and how you want them to be and how you want them to show up, which is great. I love it. Do you think it would be different if they were two boys that you were raising who wanted to go into show biz or entertainment? I have no idea. What I would do with two boys. I am very grateful that I have two girls because I am a girly girl and a girl's girl. And I look at my friends with boys and it is so different. Yeah. It is so, they are completely different animals, boys and girls, when they're, when.

when they're young anyway. So I don't know. I've always said to Shane, are you okay with two girls? Did you want a son? And the answer? You know, I think when we got married forced and we were having children,

I never in my mind's eyes saw boys, and that's the God honest truth. And I come from the family of girls. I've got five sisters. I'm the only boy. but when we were having babies anything that came to my mind was girls I never saw a little boy in my life

weirdly and do I would I like a boy it would only be literally out of self-indulgence and legacy saying I should have had a son and you know traditional yeah

all that nonsense really no my girls are amazing they are my legacy and I'm super delighted to have girls I don't know what's like to have a son and I'm okay with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's brilliant. But speaking of babies, and maybe this is for both of you as well, what's your take on the term nepo baby? Because I've got a feeling right, Shane. I know

exactly what you're going to say about this. But for me, I'm like, of course, demotism does exist and it's happened for many, many years, you know, all around the world. But people, I suppose, automatically assume just because you're in a certain role or certain, you know, industry, and your children take an interest in that, that it's kind of, it equals they're a, you know, they're a nepo baby because that's what they're doing. But actually, but you still, but for a lot of people who are considered nepo babies, they actually have a lot of work to do to overcome so much in order to continue doing what they, you know, what their parents or whatever are known for. Do you talk to your kids about anything like that, the idea of them being NEPA babies?

We kind of have done. We have spoken about it. And in there's probably more proving to do as a NEPO as opposed to just coming in as a green art. And I think, but there's also great opportunity. And I would never deny the hard work of the parents in the first place to get to their position. And forget just the industry. I'm talking about in business anyway. You had a man, a CEO, built a company,

and the legacy is going to be left to the child, the children, whatever the case may be, regardless of the manager who's been there for all them years. I think they still have to prove their worth, but you've worked hard on your legacy to allow more comfortable routes to market, routes to life, roof to everything for your children. That's what we're meant to do. Yeah. I credit to Billy Ray and her viral TikTok video, by the way, when she said that. She's like, my dad's selling that stadium.

but I'm earning the minimum wage. What did you think when you saw that video? Oh, so funny. So I got a message to say, did you know that Billy Ray's in the Daily Mail? Well, immediately, honey. You're, yeah, freaking out. Immediately.

Immediately, I was like, oh my God. When I saw it, I was hilarious. But I loved it because that is Billy's personality for a start. very witty, very dry sense of humour. So I was just, this is brilliant. And I just thought it was hilarious. But equally, I said to her there's a message in that as well for people. Because people do, and she's experienced this her whole life.

People have a certain misconception about who she is, what her life is like, what we're like. You know, they just assume, basically, that we are Bill and Melinda Gates and that she lives a life. be nice. As a life of luxury. Luxury. That is the assumption. In fact, I remember when we live in Cheshire, we've lived here for about seven years now, but we used to live near you, J.B. Yeah, I know.

I was going to say, we won't mention the school, but I think our kids went to the same school. Yeah, we did. They did. Yeah. And obviously, when we moved from the south to the north, obviously our girls have strong sorry accents. So, she was, her nickname at school for a long time was Tory. So.

I know. So that whole misconception, exactly, that whole misconception thing. Yeah, it is out there. So I said there's a message in that. People will learn, have learned through that, hey, wait on, wait a minute. How come she has got a job? You know, Billy Ray loves a lavish lifestyle and I told her I'm not funding it anymore. So she needed to go. She wanted her nails done. She wants her lashes done. She wants to go out. She wants to buy outfit. And I was just like, do you know what? How about you go? find yourself a job. And fair play to her, she did. Yeah. Well done. That is pretty interesting. To what we were kind of saying earlier, really, of, you know, you'll get their nails done once, twice, three times, and then it's, you know, they've got to go get that on money. And that's, that's, that all the introductions into the next steps of life, always, I think. And I also wanted them to learn that, I think they just see specifically dad, you know, he spends a lot of time not here because he's away working. And I think to them, they didn't quite,

equate that to this is how we have the life we have. And I wanted them to learn things cost money and you have to go out and earn that money. It doesn't just appear. I think for a while they kind of just had the, it's just there and it appears. No, I want you to get a sense of actually how life works. So it was good for them. I think it's good for them to see, oh yeah, dad goes out and he goes out and works. Like when Billy sometimes has to go to, she's like, I really don't want to go.

Like, yeah, but you have to. You have to. You want to go out next week. You want that outfit. You have to. Yeah. So we talked about Billy Ray then on TikTok. And because now I think sort of celebrity couples have got a whole different game to play in terms of living life in the spot.

Like it's not just about red carpets or showbiz parties. You're on social media a lot now and online on all the gossip sites or newspapers and TV as well. When it comes to social media with the kids, obviously, huge debate at the moment that's been rumbling on forever. But it's still going on about social media and access to social media at what age is sensible and appropriate. What is your take on it? Do you think we should be protecting our kids from social media? And I'm asking this to you, because obviously your kids are on social media. No judgment, by the way, at all.

But should we be protecting our kids from social media? Should we be preparing them for social media? I think very possibly there's a reasonable amount of protection, sure, but they're going to be of their own mind. And what they decide to scroll on and stick on is going to be character-based within them. I think, you know, each of our children are very different character-based and they will look at very different things.

And I think we can't avoid it at this point in life without a doubt. Okay, maybe we're a little better off because we've now had a 17-year-old and she's going into adulthood with that kind of better mindset of I've been able to understand what she's looking at, listen, understand what she's listening to. The 13-year-old, perhaps she's, you know, is she a doomscroller? Maybe, aren't they all? I think I am now, too. There was a time where I want to watch the tell you and I said, do sheen it. Like, I used to get angry. I used to get annoyed with people on their phones. no, I think I'm one of them.

And but it's more because I'm finding education. The stuff that I'm looking at is what I want to see in life. I want to see about the cars that I'm looking at, the engines, the racetrack. Like it's all about I'm finding the information super fast for what I want to see. And I'm only hoping that other people, it's that that's that they can achieve from it, is getting the information they're really trying to take on board quickly as opposed to going down rabbit holes of nonsense, I think. I'll tell you what I would love. I'm absolutely up for, up in the age of when they can start using social media.

I remember getting pressure from as early as I think they were 10. So they were 10 and they were asking for mobiles. And I was like, why do you need, who are you calling? Like, why do you need, they wanted a mobile and they wanted to go on social media. This started around 10 years old. With Billy Ray. Yeah, with Billy Ray. I held off and I held off.

and then when she started to go to secondary school, she was then going to start to get the bus and things like that. So I thought, okay, you can have a phone. So she got her phone when she started secondary school. She was one of the last always. And she was one of the last kids in her class to get home. I am very much for up in the age of when they're allowed to access social media. I think that is a good idea.

I don't think any child under the age of 16 needs to look at social media, really, because it's nonsense. There's nothing, yes, in the end, you might fix your algorithm and it might have all lovely, great things on it. But to get to that point is a cat of cow poo. So I just, I would totally, sorry, be up for upping the age of when they can access social media. Until, like, I mean, their frontal lobes aren't fully formed till they're past 21 anyway. So, you know, I'm just, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think we're dragging our feet there. I think, has Australia done it already somewhere?

Australia and Denmark both done the band before the band under 16s. And we're obviously in consultation in this country at the moment. But it is interesting because I've got three girls. And one of them's got a phone but no social media, she's 13. And I've got two 10-year-olds. And the conversation around giving that phone to the 10-year-old is very different to the conversation that happened with the 13-year-old because of more or one. awareness, the conversation being amplified and out there now.

And like you say, I think there's a lot of parents now on, you know, who are supporting that, that ban. Yeah. I'd be fully behind it. Fully behind a ban. They don't need it. You don't, they don't need it. And it's so much awful things on there that they can just ask. Yeah, no, it's frightening.

Is the conversation changed around phones with Marley May, do you think, compared to? Unfortunately, my kids are like, well, she got that age. Yeah, yeah. But I mean, I can't argue with that point. So once Marley started secondary, she got a phone. But I would only allow certain social media until they were that little bit older. So, I mean, I was like, you can have Facebook. They're like, we don't want Facebook.

Grandma. Oh my days. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But like I said, I am well up for a ban until they're about 16. Yeah. It would take a lot of responsibility out of parents' hands, I think.

Yes. That pressure. Everybody's got it and I'm left out and everyone's having conversations. Nobody talks on WhatsApp. Everyone talks through Snapchat. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot.

And you do, you feel awful when you're, don't give it to them and you're the worst person on the earth. You constantly know, not yet, not yet, not yet. But yeah, but you know what? They lie too. It's not everybody. They love that. Everyone's doing it. Not everyone's doing it. Not. It's never the same. You said then that parenting is a lot. It is a lot. Totally agree with you there. But I wouldn't turn to your relationship because you've been open about your relationship as well. because I think, you know, parenting, working and holding down a marriage is a lot. But you talked about, you've been open about talking about your separation during lockdown.

Do you find that it's been, has it been important to you to sort of have that out in the open? And did you think that that change, that separation during that time, you've really benefited from? Go ahead. Who's first? God. That's hilarious. I count it as part of the journey. So, you know, this thing is ongoing.

There's never, you are never going to reach, this is the destination. We are here. We have arrived. So I count that phase as part of the journey. I learn a lot. You learn so much from it. I appreciate it.

I do. So for me, it's a, was a part of the process. And I wouldn't really change anything about it, to be honest, because it, again, allowed me to learn a lot about myself, learn a lot about us as a couple, about me as a parent, about some of the things I think I thought should be in place. Some of it was complete bullshit.

Do you know what I'm saying? Oh, sorry, are you allowed to swear on that? No, you're fine. You go for it. Get it all out. Yeah. So I do, I count it, it was a really important, great part of the journey. Just for background with listeners, it was during lockdown that you decided to do this.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but it was Shane had often been away and touring. And then now you were in lockdown and he was, you were all under the same roof with the kids and obviously homeschooling and all the rest of it. So it was, is that right that it was during that time that it all sort of got too much? Yeah, I think for the first time ever, I'm. was home for a very long time. And maybe it was, you know, that integration back into the house. I've always found that difficult anyway when I've been on tour for a long period of time, coming back and integrating into a system, integrating into rules and regulations that the

household has called living and life. And the kind of sporadic way that I live life. And it kind of didn't necessarily fit into the way she and around our house. So I think a lot of that I found. difficult and then to have maybe perhaps some of my opinions not being heard because that's not the way it's done in this house and certain little things which I think we she and I just had to find our way together in parent and in relationship and I was a massive part of that without a doubt probably more than sheena trying to figure out my manhood existence in this place

called family. Your purpose, yeah, your role and purpose. And I guess I struggled with that. So the more we have gone on in life and the more I've taken a step back from the industry, like I kind of very publicly said, right, this industry ruins me.

And because I'm a different mindset when I go into it. It's a different challenge for me. I'm a different character. And I'm not the character I like to be. So I took a big step back. and said, right, I need to change my life to be able to have a wife. So how am I going to do that? So that's when I really got stuck into businesses and different businesses, ideas, and kind of

put my energy in and focus into here and around, like half an hour is where my main business is and I go there every day and I come back every day. And I'm kind of living a normal life right now, kind of. But that was super important for us to exist, I think. Yeah, I mean, it's, it's challenging at the best of times, you know, managing relationship. And then when you throw children into the mix, you know, parenting is incredibly tough. Yeah. So that separation must have been a really challenging time for you guys as well. Was there ever a moment where you thought, like, we're done.

We're just, let's just pack it in. Yeah, she and said that completely. She was like, we are gone. It was packed in. I had to fight hard. I had to fight hard to come back, you know, begging and pleading. Without a doubt, I really did. She was like, no, we're done.

We're done. And that's it. And it took me a while and, you know, what I kept at it, because, you know, I didn't want it to be done. Of course not. But I had to change. I had to change my ways. And that must have been really hard as well because obviously you had children in the mix who were, so they'd be much younger. So what's sort of eight and 12 or something like that? I can't have plenty of work out. Just doing some quick mental maths, you know, quick basing math, minus five, minus six.

What was it like from your perspective, Sheena? It's a funny one because I was so used to Shane not being around. So it wasn't like it was massively different. So in terms of he's not here. So the thing was is that everyone was at home during lockdown, but he wasn't. But equally, we were really used to him not being around. But it was just a time to get into a headspace of who am I? What is this?

what are we? It was a lot of self-reflection and, you know, there was a lot of questioning. I saw a counsellor for a while just because obviously it's lockdown, so no one's about. So I thought, you know what, the thing would be just for you to talk to somebody. So it was good to just talk and get your things that you say to yourself in your head out there to somebody else. You know, I learned a lot. I learned a lot. Do you know what? I think it's something that every couple goes through, perhaps not to the extent where, you know, maybe progresses to a separation or what, or even divorce. But definitely you have moments where, you know, you're challenged and moments where it doesn't fit.

And, you know, similar to you, Shane, I, you know, lead a not too dissimilar life in the sense that I do travel a lot. And then I come back into the, into sort of the family mix. And then when you're in that family mix, it is, it has to be different because the way that Sheena or Chloe or, you know, any single parent will cope as on their own is very different to how they cope when they've got help. and someone else is around. I'm assuming you're very hands-on when you're back home and you're around everybody as well. So do you have any advice for couples

who are finding that combination of parenting and marriage difficult? Oh, I hate giving advice. But this is important advice. Because like Joe said. Yeah, things that you found helps you. I think a lot of the thing comes from the individual to stop looking at the other person to fix the problem.

And we often, I am the problem lots of the time. And she is fantastic of fixing it. But I'm learning to try and not be the problem. And, you know, certain things I know that winds are up. And it's just my natural nature to do. And then I have to try not to do that. So we're all built in different ways. And it's about kind of getting rid of your ego a little bit too as an individual.

and not proven that you're right all the time too as an individual. You know, Sheena and I, one of our biggest quarms is I always look at life to try and make it safer. And not necessarily better. I'm not trying to make Sheena better. I'm trying to make her safer or more efficient and more like if you go this way, you'll be quicker.

If you go that way, you're stressed about being late. Just go this way. But if I tell her to go this way, she's like, I'm going to go that way. Because don't you tell me what they do. You know, we have these fighting spirits within all of us naturally. You can't tell me.

But it can be received so wrongly. And I'm never trying to teach her anything. She's my wife. I've got to, we have to grow together. So if I see something that's really important that I think we can benefit from, then I'm naturally going to have to voice my opinion to a point. But then also it doesn't be received sometimes, and vice versa.

Yeah. That's really good advice. It is. It really is. Marion, well done you. Thanks. Did you have? have therapy, like couples therapy, or you said you spoke to a counsellor.

I had it on my own. That's something that I wanted to do for me, basically. So I did that on my own. I don't necessarily agree with therapy to a point. I mean, I went through it myself. I actually did. But to certain things, I think, you know, we've got strongholds in our mind. And those strongholds are imaginations, visions, an image. That's what a stronghold is. it's an image. And when we think of things in our mind, it's a picture. It's an image. It's an action. It's emotion. And sometimes we harbor too much on the stuff that we don't want to hear in our brains or see in our brains. And sometimes, you know, going back and repeating and repeating and repeating

certain things, those images with a counsellor, I don't necessarily is good for a lots of people. It can be great for lots of people. But I think, again, it goes back into character-based, what's acceptable for your mind and how your mind works. I was terrible. I hated regression all the time on certain things and images in my mind. I had to move on. I had to say to that I counsel, I can't do this. This is actually destroying me.

And I actually go better. And I think those strongholds I fixed with God, with the Lord, with prayer, with the Holy Spirit, with everything that I know about how to operate in this world is through Christ. And I know he can fix my mind. I liked therapy. I found it a great experience. I did all the spiritual stuff as well, because obviously we're both Christian. But equally, I'm a talker. Yeah. I like to talk it out. And that really helps. Yeah, yeah. I find it really helpful

to just speak. Yeah. I think women are, aren't they? I think we're going to say. Yeah, really good at talking it out. Definitely, definitely. Well, I mean, Shane, obviously, we've actually got a mutual friend and Dave Bement. I'm surely appreciate a shout to everything but obviously I know your faith is a huge part well like you said, Sheena, for both of you and you've been through a lot, you know, from the Boys and Days you've touched on that as well coming through the industry

and some of the pitfalls as well with mental health and addiction and so on. Has your faith and the way that you've, or the things that I suppose you've experienced helped to shift how you parent as a dad because of course you dramatically altered your lifestyle over those years. Can you talk to us a bit about that? Yes, I think we're definitely a godhouse. I'll tell you that.

We are a godhouse. And, you know, my kind of processing within that was more to do with brain food, mind food. You know, I work out my brain. Basically, in the gym, I only listen. I watch the God channel. I watch TVN. I watch, that's what I work out to. I work out to feed in my mind with fellowship, with the gospel, with all of that,

because I know it's the right direction for me. I spent too long in the secular world, spent too long listening to the secular world and trying to think that they were going to be right and directed me in the right direction. And it didn't happen. So I had to take a real massive step of, even, you know, all my cars that I drive, they're all on Premier Christian radio. You know, that's what I listen to.

I basically strengthen my mind all day, every day, and that's what I do. And that's, I know it's good for me. And when I slip out of that, I can tell. I can tell when I'm not on path. I can tell in my character that, oh, I'm slipping back into old ways here that I know we're not good for my family. Yeah. I was going to ask as well about identity, because obviously you're strong identity as a pop singer with boy's own. Was it really important for you to, because I think faith really is sort of a strong part of your identity now, if I'm right, would that be fair to say?

Was it important for you to have, to shift what your identity in these latter years and partly because of your as a role model to your kids as well? I think there's a great, youthful way of looking at my attitude back in the day. and I was labeled the troublemaker, let's say. Certainly we didn't boys on. I think bad boy was in one of the headlines, wasn't it? I'm trying to avoid that one myself. I think visually as a character as a kid, my growing up was always urban influences, always from America.

I was a hip-hop guy. I was a reggae guy. And then I found myself in a boy band, which was cool, great, no problem. But the songs that I was singing didn't necessarily represent who I was. So I had to play that character for a small period of time just to make sure I boys on was boys on and then I was allowed to release who I was. And visually, I think if you look at me now,

head to toe tattoos, that's a lot of self-expression and identity and who I am as a character was kind of, in my mind I'm stronger than what I'm being received. So how do I look stronger instead of being in a boy band? How do I, I'm technically a streak. kid, you know, like leafy suburbia from where I grew up. And I guess I fought a little bit with that for a period of time, which led me into an angry character, led me into own self-belief

of what I was reading called, I'm the bad boy. And then all of a sudden, oh, man, I'm this bad boy. And I've got something there, an image to uphold almost, you know, and it was really weird transition for me. But then I found myself in a super angry place, a super destructive, like, without self-destruct, really, a massive self-destruct place that I had to change. And I didn't change that. That was going to be a problem. And that's when basically I kind of came to God, came to knowing the light. I knew the dark.

I knew the dark very, very well. And if I knew the dark so well, that means there has to be the light. There's got to be the other side. And you know, weirdly I look at these clairvoyance and spiritual healers and tarot card readers. And they're actually closer to God, even though they're on the dark sun. than the normal human who doesn't really believe in God because they actually understand there's a spiritual world out there.

They understand that all they have to do is just turn the corner and go actually to the light. And it's very real. And I did that. I turned the corner, saw the light and I just kept running for it. And that's what got me back on track as a human.

I've got two questions for you, Sheena. Firstly, I want to quickly know. I want to quickly know just, obviously, Shane just put up his tattoos all over his body, which are mightily impressive. Have you got tattoos as well? I don't have a single tattoo. However, I am about to start. Oh, you.

Oh, yeah. What's brought that on? Where are you going to have? I've kind of got ideas for everywhere. So I've first quite adamant about not having tattoos, not because I turned my nose up to them or anything like that. But when we first... Just as well. When we first, the kids first started kind of going to school.

I was like, we are already the odd one out at this very elite school that the kids were at. We don't look like any other parents that are there. One of us needs to look normal. So one of us needs to be the normal parent. You look like that. I've got to be a very normal looking mum going to these parents' meetings, picking up these kids from school. So I was quite adamant about one of us not looking so alternative. but now they're kind about of all that.

Wow, we've got to see a whole thing. Sheena, yeah. Here I come. Sheena makeover. I'm not so keen. You know, I'm not a, you know, she just goes, I call her pure skin. She's pure skin and always else being. That's beautiful.

You know what I mean? I don't mean, ruin it. I actually, of course, I love tattoos. But I just think, you've come this far, like, you know. So you're against her. You're against her. having a tattoo. Oh really?

Not against. Not against. You are on again. No, like I would never stop you from. Well, not necessarily in favour. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Sheena, what are you going to have and where are you going to have it? I'm going to get things to do with our faith, to do with our family.

I want something that represents the goals. Yeah, I mean, I've got a whole mood board. Moot board. Oh, nice. We're going to book her. Shane has a tattooist that he uses that we're going to book her in and get her to come up. And it's a few hours work anyway.

Two days work, but a sand's work. How exciting. Not like this. I'm not going to love that. Everyone calm down. No, but I'd like a few, a few very nice, feminine pieces. Yeah, are we going to see it filmed for the real housewives? Yeah, there were plans.

to. Yeah. Yeah. They were like, what? When I said it. So, yeah. Oh, I'm excited for you. Definitely make that.

That, anyway. Right. I am going to hand you over to J.B. for a quick fire session. Oh, yes. Okay. So this is real life of Shane and Sheena, all right? We've only got a few questions.

And some of them are a little bit longer, but mostly one word to answer, right? And you can do one each if you want to. Okay. Ready? Okay. This is definitely a one each, given what you said so far. One word to describe your household. Peaceful.

I was going to say, chill. Yeah, okay, you're on the same path there. What would you say is the biggest mistake that parents make with teenagers today? Trying to live their lives through them. I'll for them. Yeah, we're for them. Yeah, yeah. And obviously, coming from your industries as well, I can totally see how that can play out.

kid into something, you know, you see, I see up here a lot, kids being pushed to football. Yeah, yeah. Obviously, we have that with Ace. And Ace is almost the opposite. People ask me all the time about it. And we're like, I mean, yeah, I like him playing football. And I like football. But if you didn't play football, trust me, that would be perfectly fine. Okay. What is the biggest worry you have for your teenage girls? that they don't know Christ for themselves. That's a powerful actually. My prayer for them is constantly that they have their own encounter and their own relationship with God,

not one that's formed through us. We can't do that for them. But once they have that firm foundation within Christ and they follow that, everything else falls into place. Amen. Yeah. I hear that. Who do the girls go to when they want a yes?

Does. This might have changed over the years. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yes, guy. Yeah. This is probably not a machine one.

One rule in your house that never gets broken. We don't really have rules. Oh, I've got one. Okay. See, I told you. You've got rules and you don't even know it, Shane. It's not my rule. It's your rule. Your rule, no candles.

Oh, that's not really a rule. It's not a rule? No, it's a staple diet. It's not a rule. Or a parenting rule. You can have them, but you can't like them. Really? I love a candle, though.

Me too. Listen, I've got a candle of business, but you know, you have them in the house. Why can't you light a candle? I'm just super allergic to them but I don't have if that's the word but a phobia or whatever the case may be like candles are a no no like I'll build you the biggest bonfire

and love it but a small flame don't bring anyone you. Triggering. Wow. That's interesting. Different and unusual. Yeah. Okay last one. How do you think your daughters describe you to their friends? Oh God.

Do you really want to open that kind of one? reasonable parents. I think we're reasonable. I think they're explaining us as, you know, reasonable guys. I would say weirdos. Really? Really? Yeah, they're constantly like, oh my God, they're constantly,

they constantly are like, oh my God, stop. Oh, no, stop. That's giving me a standard change. Or a cuddle or us. You might start a song and I'll harmonize They'll point to them to join in. I love it. And they'll just nothing.

I have to say, I want to see more camera action in Real Housewives in the Lynch household because I want to see this harmonising. I want to see this candle phobia. I want to see all of this. They can't afford to show. No, Shana. Yeah, exactly. I am.

Listen, I don't mind them in my house. It's all good. She only says when I can, I can't. She's like, baby, you can come this time. Oh my God. Do you think that's true? That's true. That's not. You're going to call the finale.

The finale is when all the girls get together and have a big hurrah. And she said, we're not coming to this one. You can come to that one, but you're not coming to this one. I know. I don't say. You've got to be home with the kids and I'll say, you have to say. It's something to be able to be able to kids. Yeah.

Child care. She's thinking of childcare. So on that though, before we go, I went to end on a sort of very truthful, I want to answer to a question. So what's the unfiltered, unscensored, unedited version of what's the one honest truth about parenting? That nobody knows what they're doing. Yeah. We'll make it hold as we're going on.

We're all just going. Let's try that. Yeah. And always say to mums, don't look on new parents. Don't look at other people and what they're doing with their babies because that might not work for you in your baby or for you in your household. You know, a mum being at home full. time is amazing, but that might not work for you. You might need to go back to work for your own brain space. Or a parent that you see a mum, their child eats at this time, that time,

they snap at that time, they do this time and you have to lay them this way to sleep. Your baby might not like that. You will figure it out. At the minute, Billy Ray's like, I definitely don't want kids. No thank you. And I'm like, well, you've got quite a long time before you need to make that decision right now. Yeah. It's just change your mind. She goes on. looks awful. And I said, don't look at what you see with people. Your baby is your, your child is your child. You raise that and do what you do. So, yeah. This is so true. And those early years, like you said just then, are an absolute minefield for sure. But the teenage years that we talked about earlier in the pod, you know, is exactly the same. If you were, if I was to ask you to finish

the sentence, how did you finish it? The hardest part of letting go is the fear you, the thing you put in your mind is what's going to happen when you let go. Does that make sense? So the fear of it. The hardest part of the show is the fear. It's controlling your fear about what might happen. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I've got, well, you're definitely starting that journey, aren't you, Louise? And I've got it all to come. Yeah, I'm starting. I'm only, I'm, I'm, my oldest is 13. Okay. Yeah. So, but it's definitely like, in year eight, there's definitely a, big change and independent. Is it actually got a boy or a girl?

13 year or a girl. All girls. All girls. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

And with the other two starting secondary, it feels like they'll be catching up very, very soon. Well, they'll follow one from her, aren't they? And once they go to secondary, they grow up like that. They leave primaries, these, your little babies, they spend a term in secondary school. You're like, here's this woman walking through the door. It's very bizarre. Yeah.

Hugs and kids are like, go on. Yeah. And then you guys, your next stage will be empty nest. I know. Listen, I've got plans back. I keep putting... She's got tattoos, piercings, motorbike. In all fairness, I would, in all honesty, and this is the honest truth,

I'm happy for my kids to live with me for as long as they want. Honestly, like, that is not me being, you know, this Earth's mother or anything, because I'm really not an Earth mom. but however long they want to live with me is fine. But once I don't have to be here to look after that. Yeah. See ya. It sounds like people off my own heart.

You heard it here first. From Potsdam to parenting teenagers. Shane and Sheena Lynch, you guys have been fantastic. Thank you so much. Thanks for having us. Thank you both. We hope you enjoyed this parenting conversation. if you'd like to hear more about family life, needs support or reassurance,

you can find it at netmums.com and on the netmum's socials, including YouTube, where you can catch up on the NetMum's podcast series 18 best bits. And there are loads of best bits, so you best check them out. So many best bits. And listen, if you love this episode as much as we did, then please do hit follow, leave a review, and come join the NetMum's community where the real parenting conversations are happening. And as always, we would love to hear from you.

Absolutely. See you next time for Sarah's 19 in June. Whoop. Come on.