The Netmums Podcast - S18 Ep11: LIZ MCCLARNON-CHO: First-time mum at 44: IVF, loss and becoming a mum against the odds

Episode Date: May 14, 2026

In this powerful live episode of The Netmums Podcast recorded at The Baby Show, Atomic Kitten star Liz McClarnon-Cho opens up about her emotional road to motherhood after eight rounds of IVF, two miscarriages and years of uncertainty.Now a first-time mum at 44 to baby Alexander, Liz speaks candidly about the emotional toll of fertility treatment, why she stepped away from social media during IVF and the moment she finally saw a positive pregnancy test after believing parenthood might never happen.Joined by hosts JB Gill and Louise Burke, Liz shares what it was really like becoming a mum later in life – from difficult pregnancies and pelvic girdle pain to the overwhelming reality of those first newborn weeks.In this episode, Liz discusses:• Her eight-round IVF journey and coping with repeated failed cycles• Miscarriage, grief and the emotional impact of fertility struggles• Why IVF can feel isolating and misunderstood• The moment she discovered she was pregnant• Becoming a first-time mum at 44• Stepping away from social media during difficult times• Newborn life, anxiety and leaving the house for the first time• Parenting after infertility and learning to trust herself• Raising baby Alexander with both Liverpool and Korean heritage• Why motherhood now feels like ‘being given the world.’Liz also reflects on how her relationship with husband Peter Cho who helped carry her through some of the darkest moments – and why becoming parents together has changed everything.This is an honest, emotional and reassuring conversation for anyone navigating IVF, miscarriage, fertility struggles or the realities of becoming a new parent.🎧 Subscribe to The Netmums Podcast for more real parenting conversations, expert advice and celebrity interviews.Read more expert advice at Netmums.com and join the conversation on social @Netmums.Got a parenting question or dilemma? Email us at [e-mail] – we’d love to hear from you.The Netmums Podcast – backed by experts, trusted by parents.

Today is going to be amazing because we've got a fantastic guest, haven't we, Louise? We do indeed. So welcome to the Netmons podcast. We like to think that we have real parenting conversations on the podcast, and it's great that we're bringing them here live today. So today we're talking about what it really takes, both emotionally and physically, to become a parent when the road isn't so straightforward. Yeah, and I think today is a big one.

Some of you may know that not every person, parenting journey is very, very easy. And so without further ado, we will welcome our guest for today. It's Liz McLeod and Cho. Welcome, Liz. Hi, thank you, Mark. Thank you. I'll put some for.

Hi, everyone. A lovely little baby in the front of us as well. VIP guests for you. No. So Liz, you've been incredibly open about your journey. Eight rounds of IVF over three years. two miscarriages and the emotional toll that came with it as well when you're coming to terms with the possibility of not having children

before you decided to try that one last time just take us back when you think back to those early stages of your journey when you decide to become a mother what do you remember from those days and how does it feel as well for you to think back to those days? Wow, tough times, definitely tough times but now that I'm on the other side, I can only think positively about it,

which, you know, I know it wasn't all positive, but I can only think positively because I got what I got what I wanted. Your baby Alexander. I got Baby Alexander. My absolute world, our world. I'm just, it was tough, but you can't, I have to leave that there.

Yeah. You know, you just have to go, I'm done now. We have this. Let's go forward. And baby Alexander's six months now. Yes. Well, an absolute pride and joy. Yes.

It's your centre of your universe. He is totally. And how was it this morning leaving him to come to the baby show? It was like as we were on the train together and as the train was getting further and further away from the house from where we live, I was just like, oh my God, oh my God, this is the fairest. Fairthest I've been away from him. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's not first time.

You're like, this is the first thing I've done without him. and because you know at six months it does take as you well know it takes a lot to get out um initially all the stuff all the paraphernalia you know so i just thought i'm just going to go for a few hours which is also very nice yeah and um yeah here we are did you still find yourself like packing a packet of wipes and like a dimmy and yeah got the wipes i've got there on your own two-factor wipes oh yeah yeah i've got actually got a dummy and as we know i found a nappy bag in my jeans pocket before. Oh, yeah.

It used to be poo bags, dog bags, but now it's Nahu bags. Listen, Liz, you touched, or we've mentioned about your IVF journey, not being an easy one. And of course, from your perspective, I can only imagine what you would have gone through. But from a couple's perspective as well, how, you've been married to your partner since 2021. What was that experience like for both of you? And do you have any, you know, any sort of insights for people who might be going through a similar

journey? Wow. God, it sounds like really like the normal thing that you would say but you do have to talk to each other you really do he is an excellent excellent man

he was really like he every time we failed he would say okay it's up to you not not he didn't put the pressure on me but he was like can you physically do this again where are you? Where are you mentally

where are you physically what do you think and sometimes I say yeah I'm good and then I change my mind sometimes I say I'm not good and change my mind again but he really, God, he really, he just really helped me, really supported me. And I think as a man, as a father anyway, that's all you can do, really.

You know, because it's the woman's journey, like physically. Yeah. As a man, you have to be there to support. Yeah, it's the emotional support. And I think you're right. You know, for me personally, as a husband, as a father, that's definitely the role that I took on. Would you say that you learned things about each other that you hadn't perhaps previously? Yeah.

Do you know what? No, definitely, definitely. He's clean. Yeah. Yes. He found out that I'm not a patient woman. I am not a patient woman. And I found out that he's got, is gold.

But you know what? I really did realize that he was the right one. But we were already married and I went, oh wow, it's the right one. I can't imagine. And we said it to each other several times. I can't imagine doing this with anyone else apart from you. because he we just

we helped each other and it was rubbish at times and we were at each other's throats at times which is normal yeah or it worked what advice would you have

to someone who was going through who might be going through a very long IVF journey themselves what advice would you give to someone? Well I think I don't think that you can actually give any advice

in that I think that it has to be you can give the you know you can give the physical advice like you know my third round for instance I I got quite sick and physically I wasn't in a good place to do more cycles emotionally I was in a really dark place I think you can say that's okay if you're here that's okay you know that's quite normal normal's not a great word but you know I mean that happens but I think you can't give advice when it comes to IVF I think it's like you've got to yeah it is personal you've got to

do it your way and that's it. Another slightly personal question, well, it's quite a personal chat. Yeah, yeah. When did you know that you wanted to become a mum? I knew I wanted to become a mum when I met Pete. Quite, quite late on in your life. And that's why. So we met in 2021 and pretty much straight, we got engaged like seven months later and then pretty much straight away, I said, you know, what are you thinking about kids? And he was like, I want children with you. And I was like, when I want children with you, it just sort of hit me. Yeah, I did. I wanted his children.

And so how old were you then? I was 40 then. But he's a doctor, so we decided that we, you know, medically we were just, he had the idea of let's check. Let's just, let's see if we're okay. You know, to save ourselves the try, try, try, try, try, try, sort of scenario. Let's see what happens. And from pretty much straight away, they said, there's a few issues to do with age, to do with this, to do with that. You know, do you want to try IVF?

And we just went, okay, let's go. Yeah. That was it. Yeah. It kind of ran away with us a bit really. Yeah. And how did you feel about approaching a motherhood journey slightly later than the average woman? Do you know what?

When it all started, I felt... For you or... I don't know. Completely optimistic. I think you can only be optimistic. I think that's the only way to be. I think there must have been moments of doubt where I was like, wow, I'm going to be this age, when he's this age. you know, those kind of things in your head, but you can only just carry on.

You know, we can't think it by it that way, really. Yeah. Now, you did try RVF a number of times. Tell us about that day, that moment where you said to yourself, okay, we're going to give it one last try. And then, obviously, we had, or you had, your happy ending. Do you know what? It's so funny because I've said several times that, like, oh, one last try, one last try. But I think that every time it happened, I'd be like one last go.

One last go. So I think if it hadn't happened this time, there would have been several. We're going. Yeah. One last goes. You know, financially, hoping for so financially. But I think, God, Jaby, what did you say? My mind's got, I've still got baby brain.

I was going to ask. Because it's a question I always ask. Yeah. Ever since realizing from somebody on the Netman's, team actually that they took seven pregnancy tests when they found out they were pregnant because they didn't believe the first pregnancy test. What was it like when you saw that positive reading on the pregnancy stick? So I was really naughty. So you have your, when you have IVF, I don't think normally anyway, you have your two week wait. And on about day eight, I was like, I'll just have a

look. It was like you as well. Yeah. I just like, you are so impatient. So this is what happened. My husband was at work and I'm like, I just see it's the morning, you know, I just, oh God, I'll just have a look. But then I started to get nervous as well because I was like, is this the end again? I didn't know. So I went to the bathroom, did what you do. And it just came up. And I was like, I'm shaking now remembering. I was shaking.

Started sobbing because actually, to be honest, it was fear. Straight away, it was fear. Yeah. All than happiness. And I rang Pete. And I said, I'm so sorry I should have done it with. you but baby we're pregnant and he just went oh my god oh my god and this guy is cool as a cucumber he's so he's like he's such a chill man and he was like baby i love you oh my god oh my god he's gonna

kill me for saying actually um and that was it you know and it went pretty well from then onwards but the flip side of that obviously is um you well you said that you stepped away from social media at the time yes um because you actually find it quite hard to smile yeah uh for the public Yes. Can you tell us about that? What was going through your mind then? I just couldn't do like social media. Like, you know, I just like be, I wasn't, I wasn't happy. So I couldn't show being happy. And I'm not, I am quite private. I don't really like to share too much about things. And you know, J.B. When you've got to be on. Like even my Atomic Kitten was a long time ago, but you still feel like you're that person and you do it and you're, whether you're touring or not, you're still that person.

in your head. And I just couldn't be like this, you know, happy person. And I just, because I wasn't happy. So, and also I tried to stay off social media as well because you, I'm sure some people know is when you're trying or you see is other people that have memories. Paris and, yeah. Well, I mean, the IVF journey in itself can be quite isolating because not everybody experiences that.

And even if you have difficulty conceiving and things like that, you know, I think that's, that's quite a unique journey. Why would you say that it's, if you felt they're saying, Why would you say that it's isolating? And what helped you get through some of those tougher moments? Do you know, really? So it's such a weird bit of a, I'm saying advice, but it's such a weird thing. I had to make my mind was so busy.

And I was felt so mixed up that I had to make my mind blank, almost like only think of the future. And a lot of people would call that like manifesting or whatever. but it kind of was. It kind of wasn't, I wasn't doing it on purpose. I just had to make my mind blank. So every time I think, well, if this doesn't happen this time,

then I'll maybe I'll do it next time, but I don't know. I'd have to stop and go, no, blank, and I would put the TV on and I became like a couch potato. I would just watch TV. That was the only thing that worked for me,

just like anything on TV. I couldn't, I didn't want to go out because I just didn't want to interact with a lot of people, to be honest as well. So TV was just, that's all I did. blank mind

rubbish on telly but then on to positive things with the pregnancy where some days the skin's glowing what days are those some days I've been there

but I know you experience pelvic girdle pain how did that affect you I mean just getting in and out of the car I couldn't get in and out of the car but I couldn't walk anywhere. I found it quite funny, to be honest. I was in so much pain. We're in pain.

I was in so much pain. But I found it quite funny. I was just so every time it got really bad, I'd go, but I'm here. Yeah. I'm here. Oh my God, I'm here. Thank you so much for my pain. It was so stupid, but I just, that's how I felt. Yeah. Well, you described baby Alexander, before he was baby Alexander as like the Hulk. Yeah. And I'm sure there are definitely going to be women here who can identify with that. a bit about what that was like. Because they kept telling me, he's going to be big. And IVF babies can be big and he's going to be really big.

He's going to be massive. He didn't come out of massive. Apparently, that's quite common as well. He just loves the scrap. He just, yeah. I tell you what, he didn't lose any baby weight. He's just this big fella now. He's absolutely amazing, of course.

But I just, he was a, oh, yeah, I was just waddling along for about a good three months. Oh, gosh, bless you. And after having Alexander, because I know you had, you've been open about your birth story as well. And I know there was some sort of troubling aspects of that because as much as you can plan a birth, it doesn't always know to plan. When do they? But let's move on to those first few days with Alexander. What were they like? Petrify it. Everything you'd be, it's petrify it. You're looking at this little baby, this gorgeous little thing and you're like, oh, sugar. Oh, yeah. And like, yeah, is it mine? Is it mine? Are they mine? You know, what?

do I do? And we were laughing before about somebody said to me that when they first came home from hospital, the husband actually asked, I don't, I can't remember who it was, but the husband actually asked the midwife. So what time do you pot around? Is it morning and afternoon or just morning or is it just afternoon? And the midwife was like, no mate, I'm done. Yeah, you're gone. I'm gone. I'm that. I would have loved that. Just a pointer. I mean, I was ringing, I was ringing those midwife lines twice a day. Yeah. That's the thing that I think, You never really realize until it's almost too late. Because the examples I always had from my parents and from my elders, should I say,

was that it's very hands-on. You had so much more help. Yeah. These days, I mean, you can literally be discharged when they're 24 hours. Yeah. You know, and I think it makes a massive difference. I don't know whether you breastfed or either these best fed, but with Chloe, she breastfed and it was a real, something she really wanted to do.

But, of course, you don't have any idea of how to do it really and truly. And so we needed to have that help. And luckily, she was able to get it. Yeah, that is lucky. It didn't happen for me, sadly. I tried really hard and it really didn't happen for me. And I just wish that I knew more outlets, actually, to reach out to. I wish I did.

You wish there'd been more support. Yes. Yeah. Because it just, maybe it would have happened for you, but I've known more. And I don't get to be wrong, the hospital I was at really helped. They had a class and everything before I left. It's brilliant, but it just didn't happen for me. Oh God, I remember that moment when you leave the hospital and you've got the baby in the car seat and it's like, see ya.

And also, you're putting this baby in the car seat and you're like, oh, is that going to break the baby? It's like this like straps over the baby and I'm like, it's so fragile. Like I'm so scared. On that note, tell us about those, the first, I won't say the first few days, but the day that you decided we're going to go out. I'm going to be honest, it wasn't my choice. I would have stayed in for a good, like, four more. weeks for Devo. I can't remember. I think it was probably about two weeks later. I was ready. I wasn't ready before that. And my husband was just like, there's a cafe around the

quarter. Let's just pop to the cafe. I was like, yeah, it's not injections. I'm not going anywhere. I'm all this. So, yeah, it took a while. And I was just, you know, I was so worried. But you described it as being a bit like a gift in the air? Yes. Yeah. It's a gift. It's a gift. I think they're really clever the way they work it with the NHS. They go, so you have to go, you've got your appointment, you have to go, I can't remember, is it the next? No, someone comes out to you the next. Yes, me, it was a long time.

And then, and then you have to go for an appointment somewhere to the midwife. Health checks. Yeah, I felt that was really too soon. But actually, when we were there, I was like, I'm really grateful. Because if someone would have said it's your choice if you go out, I wouldn't have gone out. But because we had to go out, we then went for a cup of tea. after. And I was like, oh, I get it. Yeah, I feel a bit better. And it gets you out gradually. And I think that's really clever the way they do that. And I'm really grateful for that. Yeah, that would be like one of

my top tips to a newborn mum friend would be to get out in the park, do a lap of the park. Even if it's only for 10 minutes, getting out the house, brush your hair, wash your face. You don't have to make it into the shower because that's not always the easiest. You have to wash your face. I know. But just get out and get some fresh air. on your face and it makes you feel more human again, I think. It was even when it feels like the hardest time. It was, yeah, heavy winter as well for us and it was still nice. It was.

Yeah, no, it's different in the winter because I remember my firstborn was October and you just want to sort of. Yeah, you want to hunk down. Yeah. I want to leave anyway. Liz, I'm interested to know, like after your long journey to becoming a mum and then also the life stage you're in and you were 44 when you had your baby. Has that changed the way you view the way you mother or motherhood or the mum you want to be at all?

God, no. I think I would, in my head, I'm still about 16. And I'm looking at, we all. My needs aren't 16, no. Jeez. I think, yeah, the only thing that's different is my bones creek a bit more. But I think I feel like I'm some, I think it's the same of you're 20 or you're 44 mentally. it's just like, oh my God, what do I do?

You know, that kind of thing. And then you slowly learn a lesson. I found that out with people who've had their, as you both will know, the second or the third child, you think you're like, I got this. And then the kid's totally different. And you're like, oh, no, I haven't got this. Wait. So, you know, if we're blessed with another one, then, you know, maybe that's what happened to us.

What would you say is surprised you most about newborn life? life so far? Two things. I think, you know, when I look at my friends who are mothers and I think, oh, that's really nice. That's really nice for you. And I bet you love your child so much. And they're like, I love my child so much. And I bet you you do, that's really nice.

And then you have your baby and you go, oh, yeah, right? You love your child so much. I get it now. Because, of course, it looks lovely. Of course someone loves their baby. But from the outside, you go, oh, okay, yeah. I get it, yeah. No, everyone, when you've got that, well, I know actually, even from the short time that I've spoken to you today,

I think I've seen pictures. I've been very, to see lots of pictures, maybe Alexander from Liss as well. Oh, this one. I brought this one, this one. Very, very cute baby, absolutely. Going back to like the live stage you're at as a mum as well, do you feel like because you're older and because maybe friends have had babies or families have had babies, do you feel like there's more of a, pressure on you to get it right or do you trust yourself more because you're a slightly

I don't want to say older I'm older that's just that's right you know what I mean and do you feel like you can trust yourself with some of the things you're doing or oh god no god no I think I think I feel like if I feel like people must look at me and think you have zero instincts because I'm like but I think it's my journey and that's it you know it's my baby my journey I think you follow all the guidelines but you just do your best yeah yeah because I am I am very and I'm impatient person but I'm also

a little bit like if someone says these are the rules I'll go okay that's the rule and we must do it at this time so I'm trying to chill a bit like things like yesterday a friend popped over and I haven't seen them for a long time and I'm trying to give Alexander his solids at a minute and I wanted to give him his solids at a certain time and he's been having them for a certain time for a week now and then I was half an hour out yesterday

and it just... Whoa! Oh, well, I know honestly, I was like... And I'm almost like, Elizabeth, it's fine. I was like, don't tell me it's fine. He's got a routine. Half an hour and late. Yeah, so...

And she was like, please calm down. I was all right, yeah, fair enough. So that actually leads me into another question. Do you feel like are you a slave to routine generally? It sounds like you are judging by that. I'm not a slave to routine for myself. Right. Quite wishy-washy.

But I do, if somebody says this is the rule and most things will be fine if you do this. Yeah. I think for something as precious and as serious as a baby, I will follow that rule and I will do it to the letter. Would you say that that's as a result of your journey or would that have been something that you'd have done anyway? Do you know what? That's a really good point actually probably. Yeah, because I'm not, I wasn't really that person myself. So I guess because of the journey that we've been through, it's been eight cycles, four years, I guess now nearly, now including Alexander. I think, yeah, I think it is because of that, to be honest, because if I do this. to get it right. Yeah. If I,

because if I take this injection at a certain time, then this will happen. And if I do, take these tablets, this will happen. So now I probably think, if I do this for him at this time, he will do this.

And so, of course, that doesn't work with a baby, but. Yeah. We all know there's a lot of information out of there when it comes to raising your kid or having a baby. And it's quite hard sometimes to work out

which information to listen to, which information's right, which to ignore. Where do you get your information from? Oh, wow. Well, when I was doing IVF, there was a great, there was a great app, not app, an Instagram page called IVF Babel. That was excellent.

They had interviews with consultants from all different countries and it was really, really great. So IVF Babel, that was really good. And information, I think I like, I like the NHS pages. I just love the NHS, yes. And the Netmums. And that. Of course. Yeah. Ops.

I thought that was sorry. Do you like, yeah. I was going to say, what kind of values now? Because of course, your husband, Peter's got Asian culture as well. What kind of values are really important to you for baby Alexander? Oh, God. I just want him to know. I don't want him to know who he is.

Obviously, I want him to know about his father's culture. I want him to know about Scouse culture as well. Go on. Whoop, whoop. I know. But I just, you know, I just. and I want him to he's such a lovely boy

I want him to grow up to be like his dad in that his dad's really strong and but chill and you know not as erratic as me so I just wanted to be like that I want him to be strong but I want him to

grow to understand women as well like you know that's a big thing that's really important to me listen that stemms from the two of you and from what we've heard of Peter and obviously you know everybody's heard of your journey I'm sure that he will get all of that.

Yeah, thank you so much. I'm going to say you said becoming a mum as well feels like being given the world. Yes. And I'm sure a lot of people feel like that when they have their but new baby in their arms. But how does that feel today, now with Alexander in your life,

keeping you up at night, having food to go on the walls? Yeah, giving me stires. I've got a stye. Dirty napid. Yeah. It feels exactly as it should do. I feel like this is what it was meant to be like.

and I'm knackered and I'm really happy and he's beautiful and I'm just like I'm really happy really really really happy and when you can compare it to other things you've achieved in your life because obviously you were top of the charts up the point traveling the world meeting all the famous people doing all the glamorous things how does that how does life compare now to those days oh it's very different Wow. Yeah, I just, it's, they're just different.

They're different for, oh God, no, I want, I wanted to be, I've worked hard to be a mom, so I want to be a mum. This is, this is what, I would just be a mum now, but I do also think that, um, you need your sanity as well. So coming here today by myself, that was my husband as well was just like, you go, just go, get on the train by yourself, do that. And I was like, okay, I can do it.

I can do it. And here I am. and I do feel like a part of my former self is there still. Because I feel like a new person since I've had him. And I'm really happy. Really changes you. Yes. I'm really happy.

Hopefully for the better. Yeah, of course. I just, I loved my life and I love my life. Yeah. So it's, you know, it's a new chapter.

So becoming mum's like a new career highlight then. It's a totally new career. New career highlight. Absolutely. Yeah. I love it. I'm really, really happy.

Oh, thanks. so much for coming and joining him today until you have a movie. Alexander. Yeah and you're smashing it so keep smashing. Thank you. Thank you so much. So that's it. We are off stage here at the baby show in Birmingham at the NEC. Liz was a fantastic guest but guess what? That's not it. We've got more Netman's podcast lives. Where we going next to Louise? We are at Lunting Kensington Olympia, October the 23rd to the 25th so come and find us and come and listen to the Netman's podcast live. See you then.