The Netmums Podcast - S18 Ep7: LAURA ADLINGTON: After my miracle... I'm finding joy and finding myself again

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

Trigger warning: Discussions of baby loss.This week on The Netmums Podcast, Louise and JB are joined by Laura Adlington – the Great British Bake Off finalist, body positive activist and new mum – for a very special episode recorded live at The Baby Show in London in front of an audience of parents and parents-to-be.Laura has openly shared her nine-year pregnancy journey, calling it a ‘long and lonely road’. She tells us about infertility, IVF and the emotional toll of trying to conceive for so long. And after the joy of welcoming her baby George late last year, Laura has most recently revealed her unexpected emotional aftermath: the identity shift, the body changes, and the not-so-quiet ‘now what?’ feeling that can follow a long-awaited dream.The conversation moves beyond the highlight reel of motherhood, as Laura talks honestly about the reality of the early newborn months – from sleep deprivation and relationship strain to mum guilt, identity shifts and the pressure many women feel around postpartum bodies.Louise and JB also reflect on the challenges many parents face when adjusting to life with a newborn, and why honest conversations about parenting are so important.In this episode: Laura’s nine-year fertility journey and the emotional realities of IVF What it really feels like when the baby you’ve longed for finally arrives The sleep deprivation and relationship challenges of the early newborn months Mum guilt, intrusive thoughts and why it's okay to find motherhood hard The pressure to “bounce back” after pregnancy and navigating body changes Identity shifts and learning to balance being yourself and being a parent This episode of The Netmums Podcast was recorded live at The Baby Show in London. Expect a powerful, honest and entertaining new parenting conversation with Laura Adlington.Read more expert help on Netmums.com and join the conversation on socials @Netmums.JB and Louise also want to hear your parenting stories, questions and dilemmas! Please share them with us at [e-mail] and we may bring them into the conversations that matter on The Netmums Podcast.This podcast is brought to you by Netmums: backed by experts, trusted by parents.

I'm J.B. Gill. I'm the first ever dad host of the Netmum's podcast. And it's very, my pleasure, really, to be here today alongside Louise Burke. Louise. Excited. We have got a brilliant guest for you today. I can see you're up there, Laura Adlington. She is going to talk us through. It's going to be quite a powerful conversation, I think, today, but also a fun one, hopefully. She's going to talk to us about her trying to conceive journey, her pregnancy journey, and then the arrival of her little baby George as well at the end of last year. So I'm expecting a really honest, nonetheless, really honest and brave and funny chat today. Yes, indeed. Now, Laura's Louise has mentioned, has been very open about some of the conversations that all of us as parents have. She had a very, very long journey to receiving that miracle.

And I think she's most open about some of the things that we don't talk about, like the identity shift, which is just as applicable to moms as it is to dads. And to be honest, everybody in the family, especially if it's your first child or your grandchild. And so it's going to be really great to hear from her about that identity shift, the physical, mental, emotional changes that we all go through. and the sort of what now feeling. Absolutely. We're going to be asking Laura,

when you spent nine years trying to become a mum, what happens when you actually become a mum? I think she's got a lot to say about it. Yes, so without further ado, please welcome. Laura Adlington. Hello, Laura. Hi, hi. Hi, Laura.

Welcome to the baby show in the NetMum's podcast. Thanks for having me. I've waxed my tash and shave my legs. This is the first time I've been out since the baby. I'm very excited. Your mum is out. Yes. He has left the house.

And you look absolutely gorgeous as well. Thank you. Now, Laura, we want to start talking to you. We're going to kick off about your journey to motherhood. It's been a long journey. Yeah. Nine years. You've also described the IVF journey in the latter part of those years

to have been quite a long, lonely road for you. You've spoke of grief. trying, trying again, and then finally joy. How did it feel when baby joy finally arrived in your life at the end of Lassiem? I think taking that positive pregnancy test was honestly the happiest day of my life. Like people say, it was like the day, you know, your baby's born, but I think I was just overwhelming. But taking that test, it just didn't feel real.

I was just so happy because, as you say, I think it was such a long road to get to him. and I think not enough people really talk about the kind of the grief and the loneliness and the isolation that comes with infertility or you know like having a baby after loss and I think yeah it was just absolutely magical I think it still doesn't feel real even now he's here but I mean in that moment I was like oh my God

like there's two positive lines oh my God yeah I was going to say it's not just necessarily the arrival of the baby but it's that when you do that pregnancy test and you see it there that blue line you know it's real. Yeah. Life's about to change in a big way.

Literally. I mean, I was going to ask, just tell us about the early days. Was it a moment of you saying, yes, I've finally done it, I've made it, or did it shift straight away once George's born into something different? And for your partner, Matt, as well. I think we definitely found it really hard. And it is hard, and it's absolutely wonderful in so many ways. It's magical.

It's all the things people say it is, and your heart doubles in size, All the cliches really are true, but it is really hard. And I think we both struggle, if I'm honest. And I think I remember a couple of weeks in, we were bickering. And I think Matt, you know, that was very open and vulnerable with me and said, I'm struggling here. Like, I miss our old life a bit. Like the sleep deprivation, I think no one really talks about.

And obviously, I don't want to put anyone off because it, like we were just saying my stage, it gets better and better. It really does. And, but no, it was like, no one prepares you for bringing that baby home. True. And I remember saying to Matt, when do the grownups arrive? I do not feel like absolutely at all, like prepared or capable of looking out of this tiny little thing. Like, what do I do now?

Yeah, absolutely. I was going to say that brings me to my next question because obviously there's the dream of motherhood, parenthood, starting a family. And then there's reality, yeah, as well. And you document a lot of that in your Instagram. But when you've wanted something for so long, and you have talked about, you've been very open about that, do you feel guilty of finding it hard? Or do you feel bad for saying, oh, I'm really struggling or I'm feeling overwhelmed? Yeah. I think anyone that's kind of like had like a baby that's waited a real long time for it or like I said, it had a baby after loss, you feel like you should enjoy and appreciate every moment.

And that, honestly, that's just not possible. And I think I've found that a real struggle and it's only really now that I'm kind of being kind to myself and saying that the two things can be true. I can be extremely grateful. And I can also say that this is difficult. And the two things can so it can coincide. You know, we do have bad days where he's screaming

or like, I can't settle him and he's not happy. I'm like, what am I doing? I'm a rubbish mom. This is too hard. I can't do this, but that doesn't mean that I'm not grateful. So, but I do think the pressure of that, like when you've had IVF and you've struggled so long, the guilt does play with you

because also I know I know how lucky and how privileged we are yeah I'm trying to balance and you wouldn't change it for the world no of course not no I love him so much like he makes he's my whole world yeah but it is hard yeah I saw one of your posts the other day

saying I'd rather lick the walls and sing another nursery rhyme not one of your best days but you know you've got to take the rough with the smooth sometimes don't you so yeah and I think not a maybe not enough people talk about like how hard it is for fear of sounding ungrateful. Yeah. And but my aim with like being online and my Instagram and that since coming out of Bake Off was always to be honest and show like the ups and the downs and be real with people. And I think maybe I'd have heard some of the things that I'd experience, I wouldn't have felt less alone.

Like intrusive thoughts, for example, really hard. Being touched out. I never thought that I would because I'm a real like touchy-feely person. But if you've been cluster feeding for six hours, you're like, get this baby away from me. you know like it is hard and I think you know the sleep deprivation as I said round with your partner so many times I've literally looked to my husband and thought why did I marry you I love him so yeah we like each other again in the early days it was really really hard but not enough people talk about it so just talk us through some of those early

moments and even if you can draw us a contrast between prior to the reality of having a baby and then host the reality of having a baby yeah I think again because we've been on our own for such a long time, apart from my lovely dog buddy who we adore, we both established in our careers and our life and our routines. So again, it was like, can we be being completely thrown in like wellwind. You're suddenly at home all the time and you do lose your autonomy and your freedom a bit. And as I mentioned, I think Matt struggled a bit with missing our old life, missing the holidays and things like that. And I think we've always had a really solid relationship. Like, we've always been, you know, like really good partnership. But it is hard. And I think that

sometimes as well, like the mental load that you have as a mummies, I think slightly different because you're thinking like, right, when's the next feed? When's, when I, and like, you're not putting yourself first for once, when's the next bottle, and the next nappy change. And I think I found that hard and then resentment built a little bit. But I think talking to each other is obviously so important. And I think being really open before you have baby about who's going to do what. And the other theme that absolutely saved out marriage was tag team in the night shifts because I'm like, And before having a baby, I was like, I need 19 hours sleep or I'm grumpy kind of girl. Yeah.

It was a big shock. And whereas Matt can survive on a bit less sleep than me. I was trying to do it all, all day, all night, breastfeeding, like it was, and it was too much. And I was like, this isn't sustainable. Yeah. So we then tag teamed. Matt is still in the spare room now and George is nearly five months old. But again, I think people don't want to say that because maybe there's like stigma.

Yeah. But for us, it works. So before he was sleeping a bit better, Matt would do the, bit of chunk of the evening shift. I'd get some sleep. And I'd take over and then he'd get him early in the morning and do a couple of hours so I could get rest. That is the one thing that has, I know we're really lucky to be able to do that, but that is the one thing I think that really saved us. Just listening to you talk like that reminds me of those evenings that finally once when

the baby was asleep, we'd sit there spending hours working out the plan for the next who's waking up when, who's taking the baby for a walk, who's when are we going to feed? The plotting of some of that routine is like almost like on a milleric. literally people, isn't it? I think it's different when you're bottle feeding and breastfeeding because obviously when you're breastfeeding, all the onus is on you to instigate the feeds, sit there and with the feeds. And like you say, you do sometimes feel a little bit touched out. On the flip side, I used to find those night feeds so comforting. Like those cuddles where it was just me and the baby and like, you know, it's true what they say, those real bonding moments.

You can't get over that noise with them feeding, can you? I actually miss it, like feeding during the night. I feel like that really. bonded us and I think you know what you were saying about as a dad you can feel left out and I think we do need to kind of you know give the dads more credit and be have more honest conversations about that as well because like about mental health for dads because I'm sure Matt Ryan memory saying that when George was born about sort of four or five weeks in he was saying that wasn't not bonded like he felt a massive sense of protection but he wasn't feeling that like instant connection and love and bond because I think as I was doing breastfeeding all the time yeah

and it really has come now and they have the most incredible bond I think him smiling and laughing has made such a difference but it is I think harder or can be harder for dads but even i think for for moms like i thought that when they kind of delivered the baby i would feel this instant wave of love and connection and i didn't and i beat myself up about it for a really long time but it does it grows but someone said to me well of course you don't like love them you don't know them yet yeah i thought oh god yeah i'm being so hard on myself so i for anyone's struggling with that mom or dad, I would say like, don't beat yourself up. Like, it does come. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, of course, there's the mental side of the struggle, but I just want to touch on the physical side

of things because every man in here will admit and will know that the changes that a woman goes through with her body when she has birth. What you're saying? It's facts and it's an amazing thing. But of course, so many, like you say, so many women put pressure on themselves. And you are such an inspirational spokesperson, really, for body positivity and your changes. Just talk to us. about how your body changed and how you felt about it in those moments. Yeah. I think initially, I remember thinking, oh, I feel like postpartum, I'm supposed to hate my body. That's just the kind of of the narrative. And actually, I felt really good initially postpartum. I think because I, like, maize women when you're heavily pregnant, like you're struggling, aren't you? Because

you're kind of bordling everywhere. You feel so heavy and lethargic. I felt brilliant. And I recovered really well after my C-section. I was very, very lucky. I felt all right. And then actually it was kind of as time went on. And I think everyone talks about, oh, the weight will fall off when you breastfeed or, you know, you'll bounce back after a two weeks. And I didn't. That wasn't my experience at all.

In fact, it was the opposite. And I actually gained a lot of weight after having the baby because I was literally in survival mode, living off of biscuits, crisp, like just snacks because I didn't have time to cook. I didn't really want to cook. And I was just snacking. And so I think it did affect me more than I thought it would.

I've done a lot of work over the year. is to become like to be at peace with my body and kind of think do you know what the way I look is the least interesting thing about me like I really like to lead into that whole body neutrality thing which is I have a body and so does everyone else like you know I've always been big maybe that's just how I'm meant to be and but I'd be really I would be lying if I said I haven't struggled postpartum like even this morning I was like what do I wear nothing if it's I hate look how I look I'm like oh it is still a struggle like I'm just going to be really honest with you I don't have it all together all the days but I'm trying to you know be kind to myself why do you think we're

still in a culture where we're talking about bouncing back I mean it just feels so outdated and wrong and negative and unhelpful but it still lurks into conversations doesn't it yeah and even as women ourselves will talk about losing the baby weight it's like we just can't get rid of that yeah yeah bigma around body it's I feel like it's like diet culture again, just trying to rearing its ugly head and putting pressure on women that's unnecessary. You know, there's no way that, you know,

you can bounce back after a baby. Like your organs literally move. Your body has stretched and changed. And then after two weeks, you're space to fit in your jeans. Like, yeah, no, like it's not going to happen. And I think I do, I love social media. I think I personally, like, I found a wonderful community on there.

But I do think that it can be quite unhelpful for women with a comparison. And I think that's probably what a lot of it is. You see a lot of new mums that kind of will be posting pictures of themselves like Kendall Jenner. I used to having a baby and being like, look at my washboard abs. I think she was four months per postpartum and she posted a picture of her in the gym saying no days off. But she has the luxury of a nanny and a personal trainer and a night nurse and probably all of these things. So I think it's really, really hard when you see yourself and you compare yourself to other mums who have maybe bounced back.

But I would say that to anyone that is sort of struggling with that, that isn't the norm. I would say 95% of women struggle and are not feeling themselves postpartum. And that is absolutely normal. And I think we need to kind of take a step back and realize what our bodies have done and appreciate what they've done for us. Yeah. Did it help, I suppose, hearing Matt's thoughts on that, if that makes sense? Because I was always very supportive of Chloe and just saying, listen, a lot has happened

in the last however nine months, ten months. 12 months, you know, and so many changes have, you know, undergone through your body. And of course, I was never, you know, putting her under oppression like, come on, baby, you got to go do this, you got to do that, you got getting the jip, whatever. Do you think, was Matt like that, firstly, but did that help how he was with you? Yeah, I think, like, Matt's always been a massive support in terms of that. Like, he knows, so just not to talk about it because I would absolutely ape at him. also like he was you know a really big lad before I met him and you know he struggled with his weight as well throughout his life so I think he's he knows never to say anything and yeah he does his best

bless him he's still I think learning what he sort of how to say and what you know not to say but I've never felt any pressure from him at all to look a certain way or that I like need to lose the baby's sake which is I think yeah I'll say lucky but surely that's like as it should be yeah just hearing you talk then I'm sat here thinking, isn't it mad that, you know, there are some women or new mums that would feel pressure to go to the gym rather than be with their baby and cuddle their baby? The priorities are just off to kill them, aren't they? I mean, if the gym helps you mentally or even physically, then you want to do that. I think time out. Yeah, do whatever is right for you. But for me personally, I'm just, I mean,

I can't think of anything worse than going to the gym anyway. But I just, yeah, I just wanted to be at, you know, at home with George. And I do keep having to remind myself, like, this is a season. Like, the priority now is him. And I just want to spend as much time of him as possible. And, like, he doesn't care what it like, does he? He cares that I'm there and that I'm giving him love and changing his bum. Yeah. Yeah.

So I've got a question. If your body could talk to you after having a baby, what would it say? I love this question. I think it would say, give yourself a break. Yeah. Don't be so hard on yourself. Like, you've done an amazing thing. like just be kind to yourself.

Absolutely. So moving on to identity, because you talk a lot about that on all your social platforms. And it's super insightful. And I find it, I think it's really interesting and supportive to many, I'm sure.

So you were Laura before any of your parenting journey. You were Laura when you were trying for a baby and behind the scenes, you were still Laura. But now you're Laura the mum. How does Laura the mum feel? stronger, more vulnerable, brave. I think both.

Yeah, I think like I said earlier, all the cliches are true. Like, he is my whole world. Like, I love that little boy so much. And I also feel like I do need my own time. Like, sometimes I feel like I'm going a bit crazy in the house. And I like, I said to my nose done.

Just a little bit of self-care. Please can just look after George. I need to go out of the house. So I'm still finding myself in that. and I still want to work and I still feel like I'm, you know, I'm ambitious and want to do work things, but also scale back a little bit. So my priorities have definitely shifted. I do, I definitely don't think I've had like an identity crisis since having him. But it is hard to not have the mum hat on and to have the Laura hat on. But I think, you know,

he's still very young. Are they two different people? No, I think, I've always been very maternal. And I think I've wanted him so much that he just, he has sort of slotted in it. It feels he still doesn't feel real. Every night I say to him out. Like is he here? I can't believe how lucky we are like he's here. But it's starting yeah to feel a bit more real. I think I'm yeah slowly combining the two.

Some moms will say when they've had a baby they almost feel like a better person. Yeah. That's more confident, stronger more complete. But it's a it doesn't happen overnight. That's what I'm going to say. No. I don't

I think definitely more vulnerable. I cry all the time. like now, happy and sad tears. But I do, and all of my friends would say when they had babies, oh, there's no love like it. And I think because I struggled so much from fertility, I'd be like, yeah, whatever, I've got a really full happy life.

That's not true. And I did have a full and happy life, but I do feel very complete now that he's here. Yeah. I mean, this is a silly question because I know the answer already, but are there moments when you feel overwhelmed? And can you just talk to us about some of those,

what that's like, what that looks like? I feel overwhelmed on a daily basis. And I think, as I said earlier, like, I've always been very maternal. So I think I, not very naively thought I'd be really good at it. And it is such a lesson in, it's very humbling when you have a baby because I have felt incompetent. And I feel like I'm coming up short every single day. I'm only now just getting my confidence with everything. So yeah, it definitely like takes a while, I would say.

But it does kick in. It's a whole new shift, isn't it? I mean, just leaving the house becomes. a whole new routine. Everything's overwhelming. It takes a while to get that routine right as well. First time you took him to the park, which was a five-minute drive. We could have walked it, but I didn't have seen a section of recovery.

It took 55 minutes to get the car packed up. I was like, what? The overwhelmed at the beginning, again, I don't feel like enough people talk about it. It was so much. My friend, my best for naughty came over. I bought a race dinner and I cried into my race dinner for like three hours. She was like, what's wrong? What's wrong?

And I said, I'm just overwhelmed. It is hard. it does get easier and you are going to have bad days. And then like the other day, we had a really hard day with George, really hard. And I was like, counting down the hours till bedtime and I felt guilty for that.

And then he started having a giggle fit for the first time. And then all the past are, completely changes, isn't it? Pictures on your camera on. I felt like that when the children had their first smile. Because up until that point, the sleep is just unbearable.

Sleep with deprivation is unbearable. And you just think to yourself like, is this ever going to try? change and then they just pop the smile open and you're just like, there is. I used to love it going to the baby when they'd just woken up from a nap and they used have really like rosy chubby chis and I, yeah, and I was like, all is forgiven. I love you so much. Every morning he'll wake up about five-ish and I sort of look at the phone to see what time

it is and I go and then I go over to his next to me and then he's looking at me with this big gummy smile and I'm like, oh, all he's forgiven. I love you so much. So we've talked about how a lot of things in life shifts. And we've talked briefly about the dynamics between you and your partner, your husband, Matt. Because previously you were a couple. And now it's a bit more like in these early days, for sure, team survival. Yeah.

How would you say Matt's found everything? And has it made your relationship stronger? In parts? Possibly. I think it's obviously bonded us because the love for him like we feel is amazing. But no, I'm not going to lie. It really tested us in the beginning especially. And I had moments where I was like, I want to punch you in the face. When you see me laughing here, sat here opposite, laughing when you're saying those stories whether. I'm being unsympathetic. It's just because I'm thinking, oh my God, I remember that.

I remember that moment at 3 o'clock in the morning. Yeah. It was really hard. And I think, I wish I could go back and then sort of tell Laura three months ago, you know what, it will get better, you'll be fine. There were definitely moments where I was thinking like, oh my God, I hate you. I am so overwhelmed and I, this is not fun. What have I done? And then now, like I love his bits.

He is an amazing dad. The bond they have is beautiful. Everyone says he looks like him. So I'm like, I'm like, I fine. But I know. I definitely, I don't think it's brought us closer. I think like you say, like we probably have bonded over him, but it's still hard. We still have our moments.

Like I still think like, oh, the mental load, like I said, I think probably still I'm struggling with. But we're good. I love him to bit. So he's a brilliant dad. That is one of my biggest pieces of advice for a new parent, the fact that you are both on the same side. Yes.

You're on the same side. And survival. Yeah. As annoying as each other might be or as, you know, frustrated as the baby might be or get into grips with the sleep pattern or whatever. is, you're on the same side in wanting them to be content and to be happy and of course to, yeah, to thrive. Yeah, no, that's totally true. I was thinking as you were talking then about sleep routines and sort of wrestling with each other a little bit and mood swings and stuff.

That during those early days or those early months with a newborn baby, things change very quickly. So you can feel like you're in one moment or phase and think, oh my, my God, like you say, what have I done? How am I going to get through this? I can't do this. But actually, three days later, it's something completely different. And a week later, it's something different. No, you're right.

It's really sound advice. And I think I had to tell myself, like, this is temporary. This is temporary. And I think, like we were just saying earlier, it's hard in the early days because because of the sleep deprivation, it kind of robs you a little bit of the joys of the parent had in the early days. And it's really, really hard. But like you say, it does pass.

And then you'll, I find myself. of now going, I just want to freeze time because I love the same. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Smiling, you're sleeping a bit better. And I just, yeah. Yeah. We say as well, net moms, things don't have to be perfect for you to be proud.

Yeah. And actually, another piece of advice, I sound like the advice queen here. But in those early weeks as well where things move and change so quickly, don't spend too much energy trying to perfect something, like getting something right or pressure on yourself to perfect it. because in a three days time, it'll be a whole new challenge that you're going to have to run through. So I wouldn't put, that would be my advice in those early days if you're ever struggling is not necessarily putting too much pressure on yourself to perfect that moment or perfect that routine because there'll be a whole new routine next week. Yeah.

Do you ever feel under pressure to be perfect? Because so much of what you do, of course, is online and I know you're very, very outspoken and, you know, of course, a TV personality as well of your great British break off staff and other bits and pieces that you do. as part of your work. Do you ever feel pressure to be perfect or to compete, I suppose, with everything else that's online? I do a bit when it comes to being a mum, because it's not impacting me. It's impacting him. So if I do something wrong, I didn't realise the mum guilt. People always talked about it. It is a real thing. It's a real thing. So I think that's really hard. But actually, I found that being honest has helped me. I think maybe being outspoken as well, sharing the realities and the hard things as well as the good helps. And also I then get so many

messages from women saying, thank you so much because all I'm seeing on my social media feed is like, look at me in my perfect bump. Look at me in my perfect baby. Look at me in my perfect house. Look at me. And I personally find that a little bit boring as well. And it can really get to you. So no, I'm I'm kind of leaning into the, I haven't quite got this. The real. That's okay. Yeah. She really feel for a different fire, I suppose. I love me. And if you were, because you're in those early months still at the moment, if you were to tap your Laura, the new mum to be on the shoulder, what would you whisper in her ear? I think I would try and say to her, you will sleep again, that's almost.

You will. But also just to try and as hard as it is, enjoy it and try to worry a bit less. because I think it can rob you a little bit of the early days and actually like they will be fine and you will be fine as well like you were sort of saying this two shall pass all will be well yeah yeah yeah because those moments do move quite quickly so if you beat yourself up too much in that moment and then that moment's gone so yeah it is it's hard though it's easier said than done sometimes

yeah no wow it's been fantastic isn't it? It has. You've been a great chat. Thank you. It's been really, really useful to hear some of these stories, and I'm sure some of the audience as well, it will resonate with brilliantly. But thank you, Laura. Thanks for such a great. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you very much, Laura.

With the honest. Yes. And thank you as well very much for listening and coming along to support today. This is the Netman's podcast. A real parenting conversations happen. You've just heard one here. And we'll be sticking around a little bit when we want to come up for a line. A new episode drops every Tuesday and you can find us on the NetMum's socials and on the NetMum's site. So, yes, come and join us.