The Netmums Podcast - S19 Ep1: SAM THOMPSON 'ADHD isn’t a problem to fix: Sam Thompson on diagnosis, labels and learning to understand our kids

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

This week on The Netmums Podcast, Louise Burke and JB Gill are joined by TV presenter, podcaster and ADHD UK ambassador Sam Thompson for an honest conversation about ADHD and autism, and why understanding our children matters more than ever.Sam was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 30 after years of feeling different, overwhelmed and misunderstood. In this episode, he opens up about the relief of finally understanding how his brain works, why he spent years believing he was simply the ‘naughty kid’, and how that diagnosis helped him forgive himself for struggles he'd carried since childhood.Drawing on insights from his new book, You, Me and ADHD, Sam shares practical advice for parents navigating ADHD at home, from handling big emotions and meltdowns to helping children recognise their strengths and build confidence.Together, Louise, JB and Sam explore how ADHD can show up in everyday family life, why behaviour is often communication, and how parents can move from frustration to understanding.In this episode: The hidden impact of labels like ‘naughty’, ‘lazy’ and ‘disruptive’ What ADHD actually looks like beyond the stereotypes How to support children through overwhelm, meltdowns and big feelings Why understanding emotions is often more important than managing behaviour The surprising strengths and talents that can come with ADHD Practical ways to help neurodivergent children thrive at home and at school Why ADHD isn't something to fix – it's something to understand Whether you're parenting a child with ADHD, supporting a neurodivergent family member, or simply want to better understand the children in your life, this is a warm, reassuring and incredibly helpful conversation packed with practical takeaways.Sam’s book, You, Me & ADHD is out now, £9.99 (Puffin books)Read more expert advice at Netmums.com and join the conversation on social @Netmums.JB and Louise also want to hear your parenting stories, questions and dilemmas. Email [e-mail] and you could be part of a future episode.The Netmums Podcast is brought to you by Netmums – trusted by parents, backed by experts.Proudly produced by Decibelle Creative.

Welcome to the NetMums podcast where real parenting conversations happen. We're back with a smashing series 19. And as always, we're here to talk about the things that really matter to parents. The messy bits, the emotional bits, and the stuff no one quite prepares you for. I'm Louise Burke, the NetMoms Editor-Ditor. And I'm J.B. Gill. I'm a Dad of Two. And speaking of being a Dad of Two, this week in particular, it's going to be very, very busy because it's half-term week.

We've got lots of football on the kids. the horizon, of course, with Ace, and then trying to keep the kids busy. I know, and it's a hot outside. And it's a hot one. Exactly. Get those lollies in the freezer, J.B. What are you up to, Louise? I'm going to get a cheeky break, actually. A well-deserved cheeky break with a family. Really looking forward to it. Although, as it always happens, like, you could book a holiday and then it ends up being 30 degrees back home, which is a bit annoying. But no, it'll still be fun. I'm really looking forward to getting away. So I feel pretty lucky about that. Yeah. But here today, we're talking about ADHD and what it really looks like

in children, how it feels and how we as parents can better understand and support our kids and each other. Yeah, exactly. To be honest, it's something that I've been really looking forward to. So many families, of course, are navigating it right now as we speak. Yeah. Some of those personal feelings. You know, for me, to be honest, I don't really have that much knowledge and and background in it. So I'm really looking forward to today's conversation. And we've got a personal friend joining us today as well. Someone who's been incredibly open about his own journey with ADHD.

He's a TV presenter. He's a podcaster. And now he is the author of the brilliant book that is You, Me and ADHD. Louise, tell him who you've got on. It's the very lovely Sam Thompson. Hey, he. Welcome, Sam. Hello.

Hello. And lovely to have you, Sam. today. And congratulations on your new book as well. That's brilliant. Neurodiversity in children, in families is a huge topic in our parent community. Everyone's trying to support the signs, work out how to support their kids, work with schools to help ease any challenges. You weren't diagnosed until you were 30, is that right? Yeah, yeah, it is. Obviously, you've written, you felt compelled to write this book.

But tell us a bit about your experience of getting diagnosed at 30 and reflecting on life when you were younger as well. So, I get on to that. I just want to say, what a lovely intro by you guys. I really appreciate that. We do, Travis. I do remember J.B. saying at the start, personal friend, which really, he's a lovely note just sent. because we're brothers and I like that. Very much a member of JLS.

But in terms of your slightly more serious question, yeah, 30 was when I got diagnosed with ADHD and it's weird because when I got diagnosed, I, I'm honest with you, and I don't know if this is going against the rubber green or, but I wasn't like, when I was going, I filmed it for a documentary and when we were going through it. I was really interested about ADHD,

but I wasn't like that bothered about the fact that I had it. I was like, I pretty much knew I had it. Everyone kept telling me I had it. And I was like, I'm sure I've got it. So I said to the director when she was like, when you get diagnosed, you speak to, I'm going to get it wrong. So just the lady who diagnosed me.

You speak to her once and then you speak to her again after she's going to your family and she takes your report cards from school and stuff like that. And so she has to interview you as well. So you do two chats And the second chat is where she Diagnosed you or doesn't diagnose you And tells us what's going on with yourself

And so we have like four hour chat I said to the director I went look I just want to let you know Before whatever happens happens I probably have ADHD And if you're expecting me to like cry I'm not going to cry Like this isn't a huge deal for me

Like I'm so glad to understand it and I'm so glad to like to know people and be part of a community, but like I'm really proud and happy of who I am. So I'm probably not going to show you an emotion that as a TV thing you might want. She was like, we don't expect that. Just going to do a thing. So anyway. You mean like they're not going to get like an emotional breakdown.

Like, oh, my God, I've got ADHD. I was like, if you're expecting me to cry, I'm not going to cry. Like I'm happy with who I am and I'm happy with if she goes, you got ADHD. Cool. Yeah. And they were like, look, we're asking you to cry. I'm asking you to do any of those things. And I was like, sat down and she goes, right, so you have ADHD and you're quite far down that spectrum.

And you're a very special boy and you should be very proud of what you've achieved leading up to this point. And we've spoken a lot about your school. I just want to let you know that you are a good person. Dude, I wet. Bro. I wet. And I didn't see it coming, man. And so really long-winded answer to your question there, but I just didn't realize the weight I had on my shoulders until I got told what it was that I had.

and I actually got told that I've been blaming myself for a lot of things over the years. Yeah. And that weight just lifted off my shoulders. And it was a crazy, crazy feeling because I just didn't expect it at all. Yeah. Do you think, I'm just want to ask about the age of diagnosis, actually, because obviously there's going to be parents listening to this with kids who, whether they've got ADHD or maybe parents sort of suspect that their child might.

But you were 30 when you were diagnosed. Obviously there's pros and cons of that. Like you said, the downside is that there were things that you've been blaming yourself for for years that finally were catching up with you now at 30. And it was also, but you were 30 so you felt like you couldn't manage with the diagnosis or the label. But could you imagine had you been diagnosed at like 10 or in mid-teens how you would have reacted to it or how you would have felt about it then? I am gutted that I didn't get diagnosed earlier in my life.

I think it would have absolutely changed my schooling. This is Netmums. I feel like it as a parenting podcast. So I imagine that, you know, this isn't going to come as a master's surprise, but I wish my parents know. It would have absolutely changed my schooling, but also how I think how my parents viewed me as a kid. And that's not really negative.

My parents were always incredibly loving, but I think I was pretty misunderstood as a child. And I wish that I'd forgiven myself a bit at school, because I used to really not understand. I used to cry into my textbooks sometimes. I couldn't understand why I couldn't understand. Like I couldn't focus on my textbooks. I couldn't help but get drawn to said energy. which like would lead like to you know get thrown out of a classroom and stuff because I couldn't understand what was going on and I used to just maybe start with

set because I couldn't I couldn't stop and what I would have done to have had a plan like I speak to teachers now and they're literally like God I just want to know about if the kid has ADHD you know I want to tell them if they need a minute outside that's absolutely fine they're not in trouble they can just take a minute they can be able to sit on or use a fidget toy if they need to they can go to a different part of the classroom they want like to take a a bit time off there, a bit overstimulated. I would have thrived off that if I was a kid. I think I would have felt so heard and so seen.

But I wasn't in that era. So, yeah, a diagnosis at first, I think a diagnosis at any age can complete change. I was being talking to a guy last night. I was at a gala dinner. I was talking to a guy who was literally came up to me and started talking about his ADHD very sweetly. And he was like, mate, I think he's like,

34, 35. He was like, it's changed my life. he was on the medication right now it's like really changing everything so I don't think an age I think I think getting done at any age is fine diagnosed at any age fine but being a kid

I think it can change your formative years so much I wish it had done mine yeah do you know what I think obviously you've talked very openly about you know being labelled growing up and you know kind of being the nautic and you've said again a number of times just in that answer about understanding

I think that for me is always the key it's the understanding not just of the individual who's going through it, but also the parents surrounding it, because they also don't know. If they don't have it themselves or they've not been exposed to it, it's really, really difficult to say, that's what it is, this is how we're going to parent, we're going to change, I mean, change that, or we've noticed this and we can then go and seek the right help to be able to action it. But how important do you think that labeling of, you know, we all have kids that, you know, don't listen or don't do what you've asked them to do, and sometimes that can be incredibly

frustrating, whether that's at bedtime or when you're out and about or when you're in, you know, other people's company. And that label of being the naughty kids was definitely something that you felt and had growing up. Do labels like that stay with you? Is that one of the reasons why you had that flood of emotion when you finally were diagnosed with ADHD? I think so, Jaby. I think it's a great question, mate. I didn't realize. I used to blame myself a lot where people label, you know, I used to, it was crazy. This is a, I think, really good example of how sad it can be. The lady who diagnosed me, she got all my report cards from the age of 8 to 18.

Those are different schools I went to, so they're not just the same school, same teachers. And she went, pick out an interview report. So I was like, hey, pick out my interview report. And I think it was like the age of 12 or something. And it was like, Sam Thompson, nice enough guy, nice enough boy, but doesn't concentrate in class, easily distracted, and too much energy. And like, unless there's a big change, you know, in his attitude, he's not going to go far and he's not going to do well. Pretty shitty to hear, to be honest with you, if you're like a 12-year-old kid, your parents read that and they're like, what the hell is going on? go from there.

Yeah, like doesn't concentrate. Doesn't concentrate, doesn't apply himself. Nice guy, but like gets way to involved in sort of like in disturbing class or like can't, can't learn pretty much. She goes, right, put that back. And she goes, I'm going to shuffle the deck. She shuffles deck. And I got one for, I think it was 16 or 17. I pick it out.

And it said verbatim, the exact same thing. And she went, do you know? how long ago I was like, well, it's got me in like the same year or something. She was like, it's like five year difference. She was like, it's, and if I was to go to age eight, she was like, it's the exact same down there. She was like every single report card that you had is the exact same from eight to 18. And she was like, how you didn't get diagnosed of these report cards alone is wild to me.

She was like, she was like, I could tell you you have ADHD from looking your report cards and not even seeing you. like she was like it's so obvious so to see how her i was from these report cards and how much my parents used to annoy it get annoyed in me from these report cards and then i would internalize it and be like i'm a bad kid um and then seeing a diagnosis at the end of that of like your brain chemistry is different yeah that doesn't excuse you from everything you do in life your brain chemistry is different yeah that doesn't excuse you from everything you do in life Your rain chemistry is different. It explains a lot.

Yeah. Because I was just you talking then and about some of the words you listed then in your report. So if parents are looking at their kids, there's obviously like some behavioural signs you can pick up on. Like you said fidgeting or not sitting still, emotional outbursts or struggling to focus. But in your book, which is great, by the way. You're on it? Yeah. And also my kids have read some pages as well.

But it was and I like the activity. So we did a couple of the activities. is the song, which are great. Really useful. But I think, like what we were talking about with what I was talking about with my kids as well is, because obviously they've got friends as well who are struggling in class like, you know, most children out there. But it's not just the fidgeting and the emotional outbursts and struggling with focus. But it's also to do with organisation. And like there was one activity talking about like how you cope with organisation or what you prioritise in your day or. And it's, and it's, you know, and it's, you.

Or it could be memory, like forgetting certain things that someone's just told you or not sticking to the same conversation for the full conversation. So there's lots of other things as well. I was really surprised, actually. I read a stat that only 5% of children between 5 to 15 are living with ADHD. I say I'm surprised because I feel like I just read about it in the news every single day. And obviously there's a huge amount of money and focus being put by the government into the news. send reform as well.

But when, what would you say other than those behavioural things that we just said in the school report, are there other little sort of nuances around your behaviour, not behaviour, but your personality or the way you play out day to day in life? Yeah. Which could provide other signs for parents, maybe. FYI, I don't mind the fact you say behaviour. That doesn't want me off. The things I didn't, I'm just trying to sort of separate it from that naughty kid label.

Yeah. Do you know what? Which is like behavior to me, but like... I hear you. I think I'm... Words have never really... Like, I know there are loads of different words and things that triggered people and stuff like that. Like, lucky, everyone's different. But for me, I don't mind because, like, I know everyone means well, so it doesn't really bother me.

So it's absolutely far as whatever you say. But I have loads. I mean, God, I don't reply to text messages, even though I want to. I know this is going to sound crazy. to like a neurotypical person, but like, and I don't know how to like, because the answer to this for people who don't understand ADHD, and I understand that they don't understand, by the way, this is a attack on anyone. Yeah, because you can't understand everything, which is why we've got you on the podcast,

because me and J.B. aren't living and breathing every parenting. Exactly. But it's like, so I get how this sounds. I have 122 unread messages. I'm going to watch that. and 120 of them won't ever get opened.

Oh, man. I just sent you on, so that's 122. I get so many people like proper good friends and Marvin will do it all the time, J.B. Like, you know, I've sent you like five different messages. You haven't brought to one. Tony Bell you, both of them from the jungle.

Like, dude, I can't get a hold of you. Pete, same thing. Like, well, there's hard to get a hold of Pete, to be fair. But like, but like, some, of my best friends from home are like, dude, like, why are you not applying? And it's not that I don't want to. I haven't replied to Ramesh Ranganaith. Yeah. How dare you.

George's crazy. I don't know him. I don't know him. I got his number of someone and asked him if I could take him for a coffee to pick his brain about stuff. He then replied, I then didn't reply to him. I now look so rude. Rude. Yeah. And the only reason that is, is because I forgot. And then it got so far down the line. And then I went, I must do that. Then I forgot again. And do you worry about being rude?

Yes, obviously. I feel freaking terrible. I feel awful. And then I'm like, so for example, today, right, I'm like, okay, I've just remembered from talking on this podcast about messaging remesh back. And then I'm like, fine. That's what I'm going to do. I know when I get off this, I'm going to be like, I need to go for like a beer trim.

I don't know for a beer trim. And then I'm going to, because like, it's quite a big message to messaging back. So like I need to be in the right like headspace. Like messaging back. And then I won't. And then I'll just go and do something. And then I just won't do it.

And that's how I do paying parking tickets and pay my tax bill. And do you know what? That's why I got my diagnosis in the first place. Because I would want to be a dad. And so I want to be like you guys. And a parent, should I said. And I want all of that. And I feel like if I can't even pay a bloody bill,

how the hell am I going to look after a tiny little person? and that's why I got my diagnosis because I wanted to understand myself better and understand if there was a reason I was the way I was and it turns out there is. So are you able then just to summarize for anyone who's listening now who's perhaps encountering ADHD

maybe for themselves or even with their children for the first time what it looks like for you day to day? So for me day to day ADHD is chaos. it's it luckily my job jave me know this like we probably both know this my job is like our jobs are you know we're octopuses right so you know i've got one tentacle in radio one tentacle in podcasting one tentacle in advertising one tentacle tv yeah like that's just career that's not personal life and so you wake up and it's like okay well what tentacle how many tentacles am i going to move today so it's just chaos and and my life right

revolves around like structured chaos. Is that variety a good thing for your brain that rather than you having to go into an office desk every day and do this? Oh no, I couldn't do that. So Louise, I am probably the luckiest person in the country, I think. And I mean that, by the way, because I am, I talk about ADHD being a super power, right? And I get quite a bit of heat from that sometimes because a lot of people turn around rightly so and go. It's not super power. It's debilitating to me.

and I completely understand where they're coming from. I'm from an incredibly privileged position where I'm doing something, a job, multiple jobs that I adore. So like I get to hyper-focus into these different things. And I don't take meds that often for it. So I've got Elvance downstairs and I take it every now and then. But like realistically,

my job allows me to be, but that kind of helps sometimes. So I have an outlook. of like for my energy and my sort of like chaos a little bit um but that's only because of the very specific job that i have if i didn't honestly louise if i was working at a sit down job typing into an excel spreadsheet yeah i would get fired instantly and i don't know that's not a joke by though i'm not taking the piss i genuinely would um they i wouldn't be able to sit still i wouldn't be able to not talk to people i would not be able to sit at my desk typing and i would

have been fired probably for most jobs I would have had and I don't know what I'd be doing. So I am incredibly fortunate to be doing this job because my world kind of allows for me to be chaotic. Yeah. What's your timekeeping like? Better now I have a time sheet. So I have a time sheet now. It's been pretty, it's still terrible by the way, but for my level, it's pretty good.

That's one of the activities in the book, isn't it? I was going to say. Like creating a sort of plan or timetable of the day. Do you know where I learned that from? An ADHD therapist. Right. So everything that's in that book is from what I've learnt myself through like talking to communities, talking to people talking to my therapist. And by the way, I'm no expert, you know, and I want people to know that.

I'm not. This is just what I have found has helped me. Yeah. Yeah. And how much of a difference has it made? Loads, man. Like I have a time sheet, right, that this lady gave me loads and she was like, right, because time she said, I mean, this is never going to work.

This is so basic. She was like, just writing it. She's like, just writing it and see what happens. So I'm writing it and below. Every morning. Every night, every evening. And when I say every, I don't mean every because I forget sometimes. But I try as much as I can.

And I look at my sheet all the time. And basically it goes like, what are the most important things to do? How much time are you going to allocate to that? How much time you're going to allocate the less important things to do? Yeah. It's really detailed. and then like let's say I come to this office which I to call it the office I don't like do anything in here I have a little clock that I spin the wheel it's actually broken at the moment because I was fiddling with it too much

and you spin the wheel and it's just a coloured clock it's not anything like spectacular but I just spin it and the colours go up a little bit and like so I do like five minute increments of work or paying a bill takes five minutes like those tiny little things I have a million fidget toys in these drawers. Like most of them have like sort of like deflated. Have you got a needo? My kids are obsessed with needos. Oh my God. I had loads.

You throw them at the ceiling as well. They're so good. They're like in demand. This is the first time I'm hearing of a needle. Needo. They're like the must have. They're like the new jellycat. I'm on it.

I have so many pressing things and like squeasy things. Like I love, I absolutely love my fidget toys. I've, while I've been talking to you, I've doodled like a thousand things on my notepad. Like I always have to be doing something or fiddling with something when I'm talking. Those things might sound small to people and they might be like, oh, you know, it's so much deeper than that. I understand that.

But for me, knowing what I have and being kind to myself. I've got a personal question for you that I don't know why I'm so interested to know this, but I think just as a parent, how messy is your bedroom, Sam? Well, my office is pretty, I mean, this is where we're out here, so it's not too bad. That's all right. It's good. I do have a cleaner. You do have support.

Yeah, I do have support. My bedroom's not actually that bad. I have a real clean thing, so I'm actually quite tidy. When I was a kid, when I was a kid, it was not like that. Oh, really? As an adult, I am actually very, very particular. I'm also autistic. So like both things kind of believe.

All the HD is a beautiful mix of I don't quite know what I'm going to get in the day. Right. Because there are times I will spend four hours deep cleaning the gaff. And there are also weeks on end where I won't clean a thing. Right. So like I genuinely don't know what I'm going to get. So yeah, you've caught me on a clean week. I saw a post by Dr. Alex George as well because he's also editing. ADHD and autistic, isn't he? And he was saying, like, there was a post and how ADHD love change,

but autistic people don't like change and how you're caught in this trap with some decision makings or things you do because one side of your personality or your baby. It's a fight. It's a fight. I'm like, what J.B. You'll tell you this. When I'm with you, I am energized. I'm a hugger.

Yeah. And I want to be in your business. Right. when I'm at home I never want to leave home again. Like this is, I hate leaving the house and I don't like speaking to people. And like it's such

when I'm out. Extremes. I love it. Stark contrast. There is no there with me. There's only there and there. And like you're right, I don't go on a holiday that much because I don't like change. So it takes me a long time to,

like if I was going on holiday, I'd need like two weeks because the first four days are climatising to where I'm at. And because I feel really weird about being in a space that I'm not like comfortable in. And so I hate change, but then I also always like to be on the go. That's interesting.

You say that because there's a huge conversation point amongst our community around families taking holidays within term time. Because when they do it on school holiday time, not only is obviously the expense in school holidays, but the planes are busy, the hotels are busy, the swimming pools are busy, and it all becomes too much for families to navigate

with a child who's neurodiverse. And when they do it within term time, it's quieter, the planes are quieter, the hotels are quieter, the resorts are quieter, and it makes more sense to them. Can you relate to that? Yeah, 100%. I get overwhelmed quite easily.

and so yeah I mean that again that's why I don't really go on holiday that much because well I'd love to my poor girlfriend is why listen this going goddam but I really struggle to go on holiday which sounds so stupid like that's a privilege to even struggle to go on holiday but I I just find it really overwhelming if it's not like super calm

and yeah you're right it's just it's it's in cray busy. Like everyone goes, everybody is always on a plane now. You can't get a ticket for love nor money anywhere. And so I find it stressful. Plain journeys then.

Do you have any coping tools on those that maybe would work? I just don't sleep. I wish I did, but I don't. I can't. And I just download a load a load of different things on my, I just have to watch something the entire way.

I do talk quite a bit on a plane, though. Well, just to elaborate on that as well, is there anything that parents can do in those sorts of moments, not just obviously in a plain journey, but just in everyday life, where a child is overwhelmed or potentially feeling that overwhelm, is there anything that parents can do to firstly recognise it, but then also be able to help with it? You know what?

When I was, I was very lucky again because I used to say, take myself away as a kid. My parents actually always just get really annoyed with me. Do you know what? The answer is that, Jamie, it's just understanding. I know that sounds so boring. But just understanding, man, because it goes such a long way. If you were to say and communicate with me, your understanding,

like communicate and be understanding at the same time. So, for example, the best example I have for that is not so much holiday, but when I used to, I still go for, like, dinners around my mum's. and my sister would come with me. And I'd eat. And the moment I've eaten, I, like, have to get up and I have to move.

I have to move. And I don't know what it is. I get really overstimulated. I'm like, I need to get up. I need to go to a different area right now. And it's like in my bones. And so I get up. My sister just have such a big go at me.

She used to literally sit there and be like, you're so rude. Like, why are you getting up and moving? Like, you can't just decide to leave. We'll have to chat now after dinner. And I couldn't understand why, but I was like, I have to. It's an itch that I cannot,

not scratch. Yeah. And then the documentary came out about having a ADHD and my sister literally turned out to me and she's like, I'm so sorry, so I didn't realize. But I didn't know you actually had to do it. She was like,

I just thought you wanted to. I didn't realize you had to. Yeah. And so I got like, it's apology from it. And now I just like, it's just like, hey,

I know I can feel you've finished him. Like, do you want to go and, yeah, yeah, cool. So I take myself away quite a lot. But it's just having the understanding for people that taking yourself away isn't

being rude. Yeah. And to be fair, in the book, one of the things that you really, really do highlight is that communication and honesty are really, really important. Most important thing. Yeah. I think you're totally right because, you know, even just in everyday life, I always say the same, you know, for instance, with Chloe, obviously, my wife. And, you know, I love Chloe so much. I know, but you know what? If you're having a bad day, for instance, or she's having a bad day, the fact that you communicate that or say, you know what, I'm feeling like this. I'm going through this at the moment. automatically you kind of compensate for it. So you say to yourself, okay, do you know what? I know Clay's not feeling whatever or do you know what? She knows that I'm having a bit of a bad day. So actually you're a bit more softly, softly, a bit more gently, gently.

And it sounds like with Louise, obviously I know Louise as well, to shout out to Louise. It sounds like with Louise, she just didn't understand. And then at that point where she realized, okay, is this something that Samad actually has to do? So like you say, you then adapt your behaviour to, okay. And then she actually almost goes and is more proactive saying, oh, Sam, do you want to get up? Do you mean? You know what, mate?

It's a, Chevy, you've hit the nail on the head. And I really, I would add to that that I have so much empathy for people who don't understand. Because, like, why would you? I get it. We're only just scratching the surface. We are in a very, we are all very privileged in this. I know we've got a lot of problems going on in the world, but they're not as bad as that. Like when people are landing on beaches and getting pelters.

Like we have the time to figure out as a society people's brains and what they're going through. And I think that I just have so much sympathy for like, like imagine. I actually get approached so much more now by like older people. So like your 50 year olds, your 60 year olds who've just been diagnosed. And they're like, and they're sitting there going, You have no idea what it was like at school for me. So you were saying then that you have empathy for people that don't understand ADHD, but sometimes like a child may not understand themselves that they've got ADHD.

And you're very brilliantly chatty and energetic and it's great. But there's some kids who aren't necessarily that open or communicative as well, especially with their parents, you know, and parents. What advice, because in the book you talk about asking us like, one should ask themselves simple questions, like who am I, what are my struggles or what works for me. But if a parent is trying to speak to their child and their child's not quite opening up to them, what would be your advice to that parent? Is it to ask questions or is it to create certain routines in the day or spaces in the home?

To be honest, with me. I know everyone's different. Yeah, everyone's super different. I can only go off what would have helped me as a kid. Yeah, sure. In hindsight, which is a very glorious thing. I would have loved to have a routine set up for me. I would have a calm routine.

A calm routine. Also, and I mean this, it sounds absolutely crazy. But like, I understand. So encouragement. I understand. Understanding and understanding. I understand your brain works differently. And I understand that like that is like the ways I'm trying to learn the best I can.

You do obviously need to do this homework. How do we do this to the best of your like mind? And I might not know the answers because I'm a kid. What I do is that puts my nervous system at rest because I'm sitting there going, I'm not disappointed my parents. Like I don't know the answers a lot of the time. I'm just a kid. but I'm not disappointing anyone.

I'm loved and people are trying to understand, which then makes me sit there and go, we're in it together. And I now want to really figure it out as well. Because sometimes, only for me, I can say, like, when people used to label me, I used to make me just feel so bad that I'd be like, oh, I'm not even going to bother.

I'm just, I'm so fucked. There's nothing I can do. And so just having someone. Well, getting those school reports, it's like, where's the way forward with that? You've just like written me up. off basically. I didn't go to university. I didn't go to university. I literally said to my dad. My dad, we would be spending money on something that isn't going to help. I was like,

there's no point. I'll just go and get a job. And he was like, yeah, fair enough. And so, yeah, I could, because I'd just been told, I would love to go to uni, but like, I just had been told he was all going to be a failure. So I was like, there's just no point. Well, I think, what I find really interesting about how you talk about ADHD is you've touched on it already, you call it a superpower. And of course, for some people, they don't necessarily react as positively to that. But can you just define what you mean by that term? Yeah.

And also just explain, because you talk a lot about strengths and focusing on those strengths and not trying to fix the weaknesses. Yeah. So for me, a superpower is the way I've always sort of described it with myself. again i speak about things from my experience i don't speak about them from i'm non-expert yeah so what i have found is that when i hyper-focused on things that i love more often than not i'm really good at them you know i'm a nerd like i i will probably know more about ancient greek mythology than most people in this country to be honest with you if they're not unless

they're a teacher like yeah you you love a deep dive yeah yeah into, but like way further than the deep life. Like, like, we're talking like, I know everything about like Lord of the Rings. Like you couldn't out Lord of the Rings me. You couldn't out Green Mythology me. Like only Stephen Frye, probably could. Like, it's those are things I love. And I feel like I love advertising.

So for example, I, you know, J.B. You, I think, know, on my Instagram might make loads of videos and I advertise. Yeah, yeah. It could go on TV and be TV adverts. And I love that because I'm creative, I think. and I think I'm good at it. I enjoy it. So I know that if I didn't have ADHD,

I wouldn't have this brain that allows me to think outside the box when it comes to advertising these things and making these videos. That's how I've made a career. Literally by harnessing what is going on there and putting it out there. Again, I know I'm privileged with that, but that is how I feel has what I feel has helped me so much. And then I sit there and I go, okay, well, look, again, I might, I know, because my day to day is incredibly weird. And like, I struggle. I have massive lows as well as highs. Like, I'm all over the place. Like, my poor girlfriend. Like, I, like, I can't buy a plane ticket sometimes. You know, I can't pay a parking ticket. Like, I have, like, I get overwhelmed. I feel like I need to shout and scream at the stupidest little things. Like, I feel so emotional. all the time and then I feel no emotional some of the time.

Like, I get all of that and that, for some people who aren't as privileged me, adding all of that into like their job that they don't like, something they're not hyper-focused on, I get that that is not a superpower. I understand that. But if you want me to sit there and tell kids that they're going to struggle through their life, I simply won't do it. No. Like, I would much rather tell a kid that if you harness,

this thing that you have. If you are surrounded by people, like your parents, like your teachers, that actually want you to succeed and care about you, and they stand behind you, and we find out together what your hyper focus is. If we can do all of that, and there are some big ifs there,

then you can become the best, I mean the best at what it is that you love. And I think that is when ADHD becomes super out. But I simply will not tell a 12-year-old kid that their life is going to suck because like I just won't do it just because it's hard for me as a 33 year old sometimes

or hard for someone else like they're going to get told enough times in their life that ADHD is tough right I want to let them know that you can actually do some brilliant things with what you have and you should be incredibly proud about who you are

and with what you've got and never let anyone tell you otherwise that's my message to it. Yeah, and you're the prime example of that. And definitely, you mentioned this in the book as well, like not to be fixed. No one needs to be fixed who's got ADHD at all. We're all, we're all different. We all know that. But like, why should we be fixed? Some of the best CEOs on the planet, most of them, 80%, I think, was the six that I saw. Most of the CEOs and all autism. Yeah. But hyperfocus, like you say, I think. I'm not. Some of the most brilliant people of our times are different.

I feel like I'm proud of who I am. It's taken a long time to get there. Well, I get to, listening to you, that hyperfocus in a way to me, like, I envy that. Do you know what I mean? That sort of like sheer concentration and passion and love of something. And I know there's obviously some downsides as well. We have a lack of serotonin in our brains. So I have a lack of serotonin in my brain, my ADHD.

That's why I struggle sometimes to do certain tasks. My brain can't allocate serotonin to the things I do. When I hyperfocus, so much serotonin in my head, on something I love, right? If I'm the happiest I'll ever be. Like if I'm deep diving into Aphrodite and her birth, like how she came out of a scholar, up shell in in uh cypress right like i'm literally i'm full in and like i'm like this is i could

spend hours doing this hours and hours and hours to do another tv documentary coming on there yeah don't want i'm trying to sell it doesn't sell as well as you think it's not flying it unless it's got stephen fryer attached to it i don't think anyone's that bothered but maybe we should drag him out of bed but yeah it's um it's it's it's something that i hyperfocusing is something that i i am so lucky that I've managed to find the thing I enjoy I'm focusing on. I have so much empathy for people with ADHD who do a job that they do not like.

Imagine doing a job you don't like. I can promise you it's harder with someone with ADHD. I can promise you. What job would you, other than the jobs you do? You can't say the job you do. What job would you love to do? That's a great question.

I would love to be an architect. I knew you were going to say this. Some like Greek historian. I'd love to be an archaeologist. That'd just be so, so cool. Like an Indiana Jonesy sort of like. I can see you in the hat. Right.

Yeah, man. I would absolutely love. I think that would be cool. Or I know it sounds really weird. This is very avant-garde, but I am a safari game reserver. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I love like the outdoors. I love like the outdoors. So that would be really cool. Just, but they're all. very weird things I understand. But these are things I hope focused on.

So I love, I love nature. So I literally love watching lions. I could follow a pack of lions. You know, and some people get bored. And you're transfixed.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you been on Safari? Have you been inside this movie? Yeah. You know, like, you see like a Pride of Lions. And it's like, oh my God, that's really cool.

And then like, sort of like, after 20 minutes, you're like, okay, let's move on for the Pride Lions. I could follow that pack of lions. All day. I could follow them all day. And be like,

I just want to watch you. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say before I hand over to you, J.B., because I know you bust into your quick fire. But just following on that fantasy theme, obviously you're in a relationship now and your sister Louise Thompson, has her son Leo, your nephew, who I'm sure you adore. When you've talked earlier about your desire to become a parent one day, what sort of relationship will you have with your child, do you think, bearing in mind? your experience and what do you hope for them? That is such a great question.

I've never been asked up for. But it's a little bit fantasy. Crystal ball vision. And honestly, you can make plans with being a parent and having a family and it never always turns out. But it's one of those jobs as well that people would forget, you know, it's not an easy thing to do. But if you're able to do it, it is one of the most rewarding jobs.

And I think, just following up from what Louise said, it's one of those things where I think you can really, you in particular, can really go armed into that scenario with a lot more knowledge and understanding than the average parent would have. Do you know what, mate? I imagine my kid would probably have ADHD. So navigating that would be almost a privilege for me to be able to be the parent that I sort of wish I had had. in that regard, it was a very loving parent. Yeah, the support and the encouragement and understanding. I would love to be, I mean, they're a typical great as well. But like just if they were, I would know, I think, how to deal with that quite well.

So I'd love the opportunity to sort of help navigate my child through that. I would say I've taken a lot of learnings actually from Ryan and Louise, my brother and all, my sister. Yeah. My little, my little nephew, Leo, is four and a half. He doesn't even have a tablet. Like he doesn't have anything. He's not an interactive guy. He is on his bike every day.

Yeah. Outside in the park. He is doing jiu-jitsu at four and a half. He's swimming. He's out and about and he wants to be active. And I just see the happiness and joy in his face when like me and Ryan went on a 10K run a few weeks ago. And he rode his tiny, tiny little bike around Bassi Park for the entire 10K. Oh, bless him.

Yeah, he rode the entire thing, which is wild. So I would love to be sort of an outdoorsy. Outdoor and active. And do you think that, just aside from that, in terms of parenting a child with ADHD, that serving that need to be outdoors or active is better than sitting solo with a tablet? Do you know what? It's a weird one because I used to game so much. And I think there is a massive place in childhood for taking yourself.

off, starting up the computer and playing a game of age of empires. Like, I genuinely do because you learn about history and you're doing a strategy game and your brain. And with my brain, the reason I love to game so much is that it, I focus on one thing. So I'm literally like, okay, I'm now literally just focused on the game that I'm playing. And it allows me to, it's my meditation. It allows me to completely decompress. So I think there is an absolute place for that.

But playing football in the part of my buddies was just similar. It was the best moments of my life, really. So a balance then. Yeah. Yeah. So a balance because I'm not one of those people who will stop his kid playing games because I know how much they helped me in my childhood. Yeah.

Interesting. Yeah. Go for it. Jam. Are you ready? Be a quick fire round. Nice. With music et al.

Yeah. All right. One word to describe your brain. Chaos. Nice. Biggest ADHD myth. We're always up. Okay. Nice one. One thing every parent should stop worrying about when it comes to ADHD. That we are inherently wanting to see the world burn. Fair. Let's go with the biggest thing that actually really helps, because there's lots of things that help. Because it really helps communication.

Nice. Hyperfocus. Is it a blessing or a curse? Blessing. One school report comment that you'd rewrite. One say that against school comment. School report comment that you'd rewrite. Can't easily distracted.

It's off. Fair enough. Okay. And then the last one, it can be a little bit more long-winded. A message to every ADHD kid or parent listening. My message to any ADHD kid would be be proud of who you are. You're special in every single way. And you can achieve some wonderful, wonderful things.

I hasten to say, I actually say you could be achieved some things that you never dreamed of utilizing what your brain is like. And you should be so incredibly proud of the person that you were going to grow to be. and if you're as I was talking to a parent, I'd say you should be really proud of your child and you should be sitting there going, it's not this ADHD isn't, it's not a disorder. You should be very,

very happy with your ADHD kid because the things they can achieve and you can be proud of are absolutely monumental. And it might be a challenge, but you wouldn't want your kid any other way. Well, I think, Sam, you know, you're not the nail on the head there.

I think you and me and ADHD is a fantastic book. Thank you. You should be proud of yourself. I think you're the prime example of what you've just said. Anyone who's going through it, any parent who's got a child is going through it, you know, they can take note and take courage, to be honest, because you're doing fantastically well. You still continue to rise to the top,

and it's a pleasure to know you and hear your story. So thank you. Thanks so much, Sam. That was great. Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it. So much fun. It's a pleasure.

Thank you, bro. See you later, everyone. Love you. That was Sam Thompson and his book, You, Me, ADHD is out now. What a brilliant book. What a great guy. Yes, I mean, I'm biased. He is a good friend of mine, a good friend that are JLS boys. But to be honest, he's got so much good advice for parents out there.

And I put myself in that bracket because I genuinely don't understand that much about ADHD. And, you know, I think that will help a lot of people feel very much more confident with navigating it, navigating it and hopefully spotting the signs of it as well. Yeah. I thought it was a really, because I know ADHD is complex and obviously it's challenging as a family to deal with sometimes. But I thought he put also quite a positive spin on superpower space HD, which I thought was really great.

So if you found this episode helpful, make sure to follow and share it with another parent and we will see you next time. Bye. Bye. Thank you.