The Netmums Podcast - S8 Ep2: Ferne McCann on the toughest challenges she's ever faced

Episode Date: September 27, 2022

Reality TV celebrity, TOWIE veteran and First Time Mum Ferne McCann talks frankly about birth complications, doing SAS training, missing her daughter’s birthday and more, with Netmums hosts Wendy Golledge and Jennifer Howze. Ferne McCann: First Time Mum airs every Thursday on ITVBe and ITVHub. This episode of The Netmums Podcast is in partnership with Aldi Mamia.

This episode is sponsored by Aldi. Life with a newborn is amazing, but why does no one tell you how many nappies they go through? That's why finding nappies that fit, are gentle against your baby's skin, and don't break the bank is so important. Sign up on Netmums and you'll receive a voucher to claim one full-size pack of Aldi Mamiya newborn nappies, totally free. Sounds good to us. Now on with the show. You're listening to the Netmums podcast with me, Wendy Gollage. And me, Jennifer Howes, on this week's show. This is the thing, it's common, but it's not normal. And it was affecting my life. And I just love the fact that the show is a platform to really open up about those not even taboo subjects

but those subjects that are really embarrassing really embarrassing and I've got no problem in doing that but before all of that welcome welcome back to another podcast ladies and gents exciting times in the netmums world in that Jen and I, I'm still a bit post-COVID about these things, Jen and I got to actually meet up in actual real life person and drink wine last night, which was really quite exciting. Yes, lots of wine, tapas and silliness. And talking about today's guest. Exactly. So I'm going to let you introduce her, Jen. Yes. So we are very excited. Today with us, we have Fern McCann. Fern is well known to television audiences, of course, from, there's a long list here. The Only Way is Essex. I'm a Celebrity. Get me out of here. Celebs Go Dating.

Celebrity Best Home Cook. And now the new series Nine, a first-time mom that's just launched on ITV, that follows her life as mom to daughter Sunday, who's nearly five. And in addition, Fern is in Celebrity SAS Who Dares Win on Channel 4, where she attempts to pass the SAS selection process with a host of other celebrities in the Jordanian desert. Fern, welcome so much. We're so excited to talk to you today. Hi, ladies. I'm excited to talk to you too. I'm loving the long list of shows. I'm like, wow, I really have done. It's pretty impressive. I've really done quite a lot of reality TV, haven't I? Yeah, you were the realist of the real. I want to start off with a question. You've had such a dynamic television career. My daughter is 18 and we love watching your various shows together, even on catch up and watching kind of more historical ones too. So I really want to know with first time mom, becoming a mom is such a challenging time.

And as a new mom, you're always just trying to figure out what you should be doing, how to parent. So what's it like to go through that process basically in full view where everyone can see not only your wins, but also your hashtag mom fails. Yeah, it definitely has had its challenges but I love the show first time mum it's the I know that sounds quite like self-righteous like I love my show but I am really proud of my show because I started filming first time mum when I was, at a time where my life was full of so many uncertainties, even though it was when you think you become pregnant and it's supposed to be the most joyous time of your life. It was quite a turbulent time. And the show kind of the fact that I had light at the end of the tunnel with giving birth to a to a child and the show really saved me it was a really positive focus and I think that I

could use I used the show as such a support and I've always very much worn my heart on my sleeve and been an open book and I didn't want to change that when filming a show like First Time Mum I wanted to be as real and open and honest because motherhood it's like you're doing your apprenticeship whilst you're whilst you know you've got the baby it's just it's a pretty crazy surreal time but I loved it and yeah I think that if you're open and honest I've found that if you're unapologetically you the good and the bad how can people people are always going to comment and judge, especially the mum police. But you know what? I've always held my hands up with how I've been and how I parented. And you're not always going to get it right.

And I think that people have really appreciated that honesty. So have you ever felt, I know you said then about the mum police, and by God, don't we all know about the mum police, but have you ever felt judged as a single mum or just about living your parenting life on TV? Yeah, I think that with the show, from a single parent's perspective, there was just a whole army of single parents that reached out. The show become like the voice for single parents. And I loved that. I loved the community. And I loved that almost, I was flying the flag for, for single parents, because there's so many, so many in this country but being judged oh my goodness I remember when I went out to a restaurant I made out I was exclusively breastfeeding at the time I think Sunday was about three months I can't remember you were in the cow phase just being milked all points points in life. That's it. In the cow phase. And I didn't know.

I didn't know how to be a mum. I didn't know what was right. I had so much help with my mum and my friends, but I didn't know really what I was doing. And I wasn't overly maternal before I had Sunday. But, of course, you find your maternal motherly instinct as soon as you give birth. I know I did. But I remember going out, making it out. And it was like snowing, but she just had like a little knitted cardigan on. And people were like,

she hasn't got a coat and hat on. Or I remember, you know, filming an Insta story and somebody was in the car seat with her coat. And they was like, she can't wear a coat. You can't win. If they've got a coat on, you're going to kill them by cooking them. If they haven't got a coat on. They're going to catch their death. Yeah. I went once to the doctor, Fern.

My little girl was like, again, about three months old. And I went, took her to the doctor for some sort of injection. And she was in her buggy. And I was that proud first time mum. And this little old lady peered into the pram. And I thought she was going to do what everyone does and go, oh, isn't she lovely? And she went, not even a hat. And walked off. not even a hat but it makes you feel so inadequate as a mother doesn't it and it's like

I think those first early stages like now if someone was to say something to me I'm like she's my child she's nearly five like I know what she needs and you grow confidence just in yourself as, as being a, being a mom. But those first few months as a first time mom, you're like, am I the worst mom in the world that I've got to put a fricking hat on my baby's head? Well, I think too, I'm a, I'm a single mom as well. And I think what's quite nice about the show is that it is, matter of fact, you're a single mom. It's not like, you know, let's throw a parade, but also it's not like, oh, bless her, Fern, struggling through as a single mom. You know, you are doing it on your own, but of course, with the help of those around you. But yeah, I really like that.

And also, I really like how honest you are on camera about the kind of glamorous bits of life. You know, you talked a lot about your pelvic floor and those kind of things. And those are issues that you always have kind of around at the school gate or over the kitchen table with your mates. But they're not so often talked about on primetime television shows. In doing that, do you have a cause? Do you feel like it's really important for you to kind of be out there with an unvarnished view of your life? I think that I very much understand that I've got a big reach and a voice and I, when possible, like to use that in a positive way. So I have got no, I mean, I've been talking about pelvic floors and leaks, bladder leaks, incontinence. I mean, you can make it as sexy or not.

When people start saying incontinence, I'm like, don't say that word. It's so glam. It really is. You just associate it with the elderly, you know, incontinence. But it happens to, this is the thing. It incontinence but it happens to this is the thing it's common but it's not normal and it was affecting my life and I just love the fact that the show is a platform to really open up about those not even taboo subjects but those subjects that are really embarrassing really embarrassing and I've got no problem in

doing that because you can bet your bottom dollar that someone else has experienced something very similar and it makes it okay to have those sort of conversations when you see it on a tv program but I think that warts and all thing is why people love the show because there's no kind of filter on it it's just your day-to-day life with sunday and all the shit that happens along the way basically yeah and it just shows how in family life and home life it's the little dramas that are so big, earning the stickers or, you know, bun bun. Oh, bun bun. I have had nightmares over potentially losing. I don't even want to say it out loud because I feel like I'm going to manifest it into my life that one day.

I'm not even going to say it. Have you got a spare bun bun? Is there bun bun too? No. Right. My mom actually found a photo the other day of sunday as a baby surrounded by bun buns because at one stage she had about 10 but now there's just the original that stinks it's crusty it's a a dirty off white like it's it's not even and now of course because i put that i spoke about this on

my show we filmed it where we put the um location tracker inside the bum bun so now i can't even wash it you actually it's good for her immune system it's fine oh i'm here for that five second rule everything in my house has got a light dusting of retriever hair and I figure that that's just fine basically a bit of dog hair with your dinner all good so are the cameras there all the time Fern or is it like you film a series and then they bugger off and leave you in peace for a while and when you're filming I'm just really curious how much of the day are they there for? And is it just normal now? It's become normal.

Don't get me wrong. I'm currently not filming, of course, because the series is on air at the moment. So sometimes we do have a bit of a crossover. But I love the breaks. I make sure that nothing fun and exciting happens even though you say the little trivial things at home end up being the best scenes like I remember when we once put bun bun in the washing machine and people went mad for it it's crazy it's those relatable things but yeah we film and there has to be some sort of structure like you couldn't film just 24 hours

of the day because there would just be too much tv gold ladies no i'm joking it just wouldn't work in the idea and you have to have a storyline and a story arc so you have to liaise and work really closely with your team because you have to give so much and tell them how you feel and what's coming up and it's you really do have to work together it's it's a it's a team effort but yeah we're not filming now until the end of November so a really nice break no matter what stage of parenting you're at from pregnancy through to the toddler years we all need a little help and Aldi's on hand with advice and support every step of the way head to the bump birth and beyond hub under new parents on netmums.com for a whole host of useful information from tried and tested birth tips

to bedtime routines for babies. And while you're there, make sure you sign up for your free pack of Aldi Mammy and Newborn Nappies. It takes less than 30 seconds. We've timed it, by the way, and you'll get a voucher for a free full-size pack. Now, back to the show. What will you do? I mean, obviously, Sunday is a big part of your first-time mom show. What will you do? I mean, obviously Sunday is a big part of your first time mom show. What will you do if she says she doesn't want to be on TV or she's tired of it? I always listen to her. And I think when, if that day comes, that's time to just stop. And I would never do and film the show unless everyone is comfortable particularly Sunday

because she's my world she's my priority but right now it's a really positive space we're all very close and fond to our crew including Sunday but yeah I mean don't get me wrong there's times where she doesn't want to she's like put your phone mummy, if I'm doing an Insta story or trying to take a picture. And there are definitely moments where I can see that sometimes if she ever was uncomfortable or didn't want to film, then we wouldn't. And she's not even five there's been countless of tantrums and countless of moments where we just can't film because you're ruled by by a four-year-old so yeah the the production company and the crew are very sensitive and we're we just want to make a great relatable show in a really positive environment. I do think that we had this moment about six months ago where we were on a beach and a boy a little bit older than her said that he'd seen her on the tv so now and she asked me she

said mummy that boy said he'd seen me on the tv now it's not that she's never seen first time mum in the background and she's watched me on this morning and other shows I mean she's not going to watch me on SAS like it will traumatize the poor. I'm coming to that. We're coming to that. But, yeah, I want her to watch that when she's older and be like, yes, my mum's a warrior. But, yeah, it was a moment for me that I was like, wow, she's really becoming aware. She's really becoming aware.

And she said to me the other day, someone asked for my photo and they, this is, I cringe, but they basically allowed us to park and like brought me to the front. If that makes sense. Yeah. The queue, which I, I cringe. I can't stand. But if someone is, come on, I'm like, okay. So, and then she said to me, mommy, why was that man so nice to us? And I said, it like, it really was, he wanted the picture. He brought us to the front. And I was like, you know what, Sunday, if you're kind to others and you've got your big smile and you always listen and you

give time to others then they will they will give you the same back and you will um it was just hard to explain to be honest so she's becoming much more aware but I always say how long am I going to do this show and I think it's it's a tough one I think I'm just very much live in the moment kind of girl and let's just see what happens tomorrow because you can't plan or today you can't plan life well I I feel like you plan life and it goes out the window, doesn't it? So totally. But will there be the spinoff series second time, mom, soon? Anytime soon? I always think, like, literally.

Let's see where you're going with that one. Sneaky. I would love to have another baby and extend and grow my family I would love for Sunday to have a sibling and I feel that I'm engaged now and I've I've met someone so special that I can see myself having more more children but you just you just never know when that's going to happen and I've got one healthy gorgeous girl so we'll see but yeah I always think what's the show going to be called well if you could orchestrate having twins or triplets or something I'm sure we could think of a name then look at her face don't because I think to myself how would I be if I had twins busy very busy shout out to multiple

mums and dads absolutely now I want to ask you about lovely Laurie how was obviously mixed families there's so many families now where mum different kids mums dads lots of mixed families going on how was it introducing Sunday to him? How did they get on? Is it kind of, is it trickier, do you think? Or is it just, he's just lovely with her and it's all cool? I think that with any relationship in your life, you have to work at it. And particularly with, when there's children involved you have to tread sensitively but introducing them it happened so organically because I met Laurie when I was with Sunday which I actually love because I'm a big believer in start as you mean to go on and I've had relationships in the past where it wasn't like that. But Laurie, he's a dad.

He's got a son. And I think with him being a parent, he has a lot of patience and just gets it. I think until you become a parent, you just don't get it. You just can't relate. I know I couldn't. I just couldn't get it. You just can't relate. I know I couldn't, I just couldn't get it. Like I could appreciate that my friends were really excited about having children, but you just don't get the tiredness and the, the just parenthood. So he, he definitely

was really understanding and Sunday and Laurie, they've got a really beautiful blossoming relationship and there's a lot of love in our house we all live together and I'm really excited for the future but I need to talk to you about SAS now for those who don't know Fern is mad completely mad because she went on SAS who dares wins and none of us have seen it yet but when this airs it's going to be already on telly I believe first of all I've got to talk to you about Foxy I love Foxy he's just so lovely is he actually really lovely in person so yes he is really really lovely but when you're doing the course not so much and not lovely at all the course is so cleverly designed to expose your vulnerabilities and weaknesses and the ds they are trained to to do that and to beast you and to break you down and they're not playing any games like it is brutal i definitely had moments of light with the ds because i think i

was just myself although i was broken and tired and exhausted and hungry and mentally physically drained but I definitely had moments of humor with the DS. You described it as harder than giving birth. Talk to me about that a minute because you voluntarily put yourself in a situation that is tougher than giving birth. Oh, it was so tough. And I think you can't prepare yourself for something like SAS who does wins. It was harder than giving birth. It was harder because at least with giving birth, you're just doing, I mean, giving birth is hard. I'm not, it was hard, but you're

just doing that. You're just giving birth. Not that I want to like give it a disservice. It's incredible. And you're bringing life into, into the world, et cetera. But SAS, you're exhausted because of the physical activity. You are missing home. You are stressed. You're stepping outside of your comfort zone. You are in panic mode because you never know when you're going to get called out to do a task. You've got to pack your Bergen to a tee. And if you miss something, all of the recruits suffer. You're a night watch throughout the night. So you're really tired. And like I said about exposing your vulnerabilities, I would describe it as in life, you're going to know your strengths and

everything that you've ever relied on to get yourself through in life. And for me, it was humor and wit and charm. I'm really bigging myself up here, but keep going. I'm a people's person and I love to have a chat. Everything that you have relied on, it just gets stripped away from you. They don't give a flying fudge they do not care and you're a number you lose your identity like i said it's so cleverly designed to just weed out the weak from the strong it was just every day I wanted to leave I'm so impressed I just no not for me well that's what one thing I was wondering you know how long you were away from your daughter and what's it like doing work-life balance when that balance the work includes being, say, gassed in the desert?

I had many moments where I was like, I think the reason why I decided to do SAS was because I really wanted to test myself and to challenge myself and I really wanted to inspire and be that role model for my daughter that you could you can you can take on a challenge and really go for it but then when I was in there I was like oh this is the worst decision I've ever made is Sunday missing me what have I done and didn't you miss her birthday or something as well yeah but the reason why I've got to back myself on this because um I did see that in the press well I was the one that said it but I I know that people are going to judge but I the opportunity come up and I I said to myself if I'm going to totally immerse myself in this experience and opportunity, and if we look at it as if it was real life, there are people fighting

and working in the forces that do miss out on their home life and do miss out on special moments with their loved ones. And I just thought, you know what? She's four and we celebrated a few days before. Like literally the day that I got out to Jordan was her birthday. So she was none the wiser. I mean, she's probably going to hate me for that. No, she had a brilliant birthday. We had Belle, the Disney princess. We had a chef. I'll let you into a secret. we had bell the disney princess we had a show i'll let you into a secret we've done it before just so we could go on holiday we just when they were little we just told them their birthday was a different day so that we could get a cheaper flight

i'm a terrible parent phone you're fine secrets are coming out now she was only two she didn't know she didn't know it's what you do and i don't think you can be judged for stuff like that. You're out doing something that hopefully when she's a teenager, she's going to look at her kick-ass mum in the desert and think, yes, this is amazing. Yeah, hopefully. Well, indeed, because you're quite glamorous, lots of kind of glamour in your life and these trips and your shows.

But then these other shows are in the desert, in the jungle, very nitty gritty. So as a mom, you'll know who's the biggest baby in the desert when you were there. We all have moments. It's hard not to crumble in that stress environment. Obviously, you'll see as the series unfolds, some handled it better than others. And we were all very different and everyone had their strengths and their weaknesses. So, for example, something that I found really tough, someone else might have found it an absolute breeze. And that is what

they're tapping into is that I had this moment where we got put into partners and my oppo was Callum Best and I had to break his fall. He was abseiling off the top of a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a giant cliff, you know, and I had to break his fall to stop him falling all the way and crashing to his death. If the DS didn't pull and jump in and break his fall for me, Callum Best would have been dead, right? I know. It was, but for me to then pick that was really hard for me and I beat myself up about it but you have to let it go and if you don't

then you won't move forward within the course so it's like I cried over things I was a big baby over I mean that that's a pretty justified reason the fact that I could have killed someone poor old Callum Best I shouldn't be laughing but it's just the fact that you almost killed Callum Best you know it would have made good headlines anyway but geez I'm very glad he's alive and well yeah and he's a good friend of mine as well and I'm glad he's alive so what is next for Fern McCann well I feel that this month for me has and is literally the most busiest month what with SAS and First Time Mum can you believe that they both aired on the same week literally like filmed completely different times and it's just the way just the way the world works

yeah so busy really promoting those and excited just to watch it alongside with everyone else and Sunday started reception yay so I guess when you ask what's next I'm really just focusing on well I'm just buzzing that we've got structure back in our lives and the summer holidays as much as it was so wonderful and we made so many memories like bring bring the structure let her go back to school let someone else have to feed and educate her for a little while how did she go in was it okay were you the one weeping or was she well it was a really nice smooth transition because she was at the preschool for a year before she went into reception. So it was the same building. So she's very familiar with her surroundings. And it's the same classmates, just different teacher and a new uniform. She's got like a little straw hat and just so cute.

I was like choking, but I didn't cry. But she was so confident. And that's what I love about being a mum is that I love seeing her development and seeing how she is growing in confidence and seeing her learn new things. Like this morning we were, I was saying, ah, ah, or, you know, doing the phonics and she had to give me a word and this was on the school run and she said see mummy I'm learning lots and then she told me about like little things where she's like um mummy you know the moon and the sun are the same and I was like I actually I mean I'm not one for science or whatever that is. I don't know what it's called. But I was like, I think they are two separate things. She was like, yes, but the moon hides.

And I was like, you're learning. You're picking it up. And I can't teach you about the moon and the sun. I can tell you that I like it when it's sunny. Make sure you're wearing sunscreen. I don't know the whole science behind it. And I just love that development. Just you wait till you get to year six maths. That's all I'll say.

Right. Exactly. Or in your case, Jen, you know, A-level. Yes. Oh my goodness. Yes. My daughter showed me her economics textbook and honestly, I didn't understand it. And like I mean I like maths I like all that stuff was like there were maths problems where I didn't even recognize the symbols oh no that's that's actually giving me anxiety I know that my daughter's going to be smarter than me and I'm okay with that like I am totally okay with it but Laurie is a math I suck at maths I I yeah science was was not my thing either I was like art drama all of those but Laurie's he's great he's like an accountant so always handy exactly well lovely

lady we're going to leave you in peace to your very busy day. And thank you so much for joining us. It's been a pleasure to chat to you. You take care. Good luck with everything. Oh, ladies, thank you so much. It's been a really lovely chat. And give Sunday a big squeeze when she gets out of school.

I will do. Thanks so much. Bye.