The Netmums Podcast - S8 Ep5: Tom Fletcher and his out of this world Space Band!

Episode Date: October 18, 2022

McFly star Tom Fletcher chats to Wendy and Jen, about his new book Space Band, which his kids are the perfect age for, to be either his kindest or his harshest critics!

This episode is sponsored by Aldi. Life with a newborn is amazing, but why does no one tell you how many nappies they go through? That's why finding nappies that fit, are gentle against your baby's skin, and don't break the bank is so important. Sign up on Netmums and you'll receive a voucher to claim one full-size pack of Aldi Mamiya newborn nappies, totally free. Sounds good to us. Now on with the show. You're listening to the Netmums podcast with me, Wendy Gollage. And me, Jennifer Howes. On this week's show. My boys love the guys. The best thing for them is just to come to our studio and hang out or come to a show and hang out backstage. But before all of that...

Hello, hello and welcome back to another new episode of the Netmums podcast. Today I have a child homesick. She's shared her lurgy. I've got the lurgy. I'm in a grump. So I'm hoping that I'm going to be cheered up by today's guest. Jen, how are you? I'm fine, Wendy. Yes, we're very excited because today we're joined by a guest who's a singer, songwriter, author, and dad. Welcome, Tom Fletcher. He is one of the UK's best-selling children's authors. He's written 25 children's books, including a new one, Space Band, that's released on the 13th of October. He's releasing an album to coincide with the publication. Maybe not so surprising if you know he is also part of McFly. He's pinned

10 UK number one singles and 21 top 10 singles. Welcome, Tom. Thank you so much. What a fantastic intro. It's lovely. I just want you to come everywhere with me. I do that every day. It'd be a lovely thing just want you to come everywhere with me like that every day be a lovely thing to wake up to here's Tom did you know yeah so the book is inspired by your own experiences of obviously being in a band and then somehow along the way there's an album that brings the story to life how did that happen well I've wanted to write about a band for a long time I think since I started writing books when I first my first novel was a Christmas book and I loved Christmas but I remember back then thinking oh I wonder if I should write about a

band actually because that has been my I've been in my band for 20 years so it's been you know all I know really is life in a band but I I didn't. I decided to write Christmas books about Christmas dinosaurs first. Pooing dinosaurs. Yeah, pooping dinosaurs. Yeah. So I'd known I'd wanted to write about a band for quite some time. And then I actually pitched this idea to my eldest son, who's eight. I pitched it to him like two or three years ago.

Because whenever I go sit down to write a book I always have you know like four or five ideas I'm usually I have four or five ideas I'm toying with and one will just kind of stick or be the one that stays in my mind and I test them out on my kids because they're the perfect age of my books now so I get to see what is their initial reaction just to like the broad one paragraph you know idea of the book and I've just never seen him respond so well to any of my ideas before like he literally by the time I hadn't even got halfway through the one line pitch of it and he took over telling me what the story should be and got so animated with it and

my wife started filming him as well because he was so animated with it that he fell over he got so excited by the idea so I was like okay I need to write this book and then as I was writing it I want I I decided that it would be in first person and it would be the lyric book of the the main character so it's you're reading him writing his experiences down he's called George he's writing his experiences down to hopefully find inspiration for some lyrics so the songs kind of came about through writing the lyrics that he was writing in the book so did you ever think back in the days of teenage McFly that you'd release a lead single called nothing rhymes with sausage

well back in the early days of McFly I'm surprised we didn't have a song called that already I mean we had songs well broccoli you know five colors and they had some odd song titles so yeah it probably would have fit in back in the day now i think that's actually one of the really fun things about making albums like this is that it kind of gives us a bit of freedom to be silly and have fun like we we recorded the space band album right off the back of recording mcfly's next album and honestly like the difference when you're recording your album as a band you put so much pressure on it and you're trying to second guess everything and you know you've got four people's well our opinions in the band but then the extended mcfly family you have to you

know you care about what they think and your record label all that with space band it was just let's just go and have fun and be silly and and we did it so quick like we recorded the whole album in about a week which is you, don't tell our record label because it takes us, it's taken us about a year to make the McFly album. Maybe there's a lesson there. I know, yeah. I don't know how, but thanks.

Do you know what actually it came about? Because Harry Judd, who's our drummer, he and my, you know, my best friends, I'd finished writing the Spaceman book and we were on tour and he knew what the book was about and knew I'd written lyrics for it. And he was like, well, you're going to record those songs though, right? Because not many authors write songs it's something that

you do that not many authors do and I said well I've got the songs I just don't have it you know I just haven't got the time to do it and he was like right when we get back we're freeing the week we get back from tour we're in Brazil we're all writing out the diary and we'll give ourselves a week to record it and we just so I was like sure, if you guys are up for it. So Danny produced it. We all recorded it. It's basically down to Harry Judge, really. My God, I love this. Oh, we got back from Brazil.

We recorded an album in a week. Another one of my books is coming out, plus another album. What's it like doing all this, vlogging as well, and juggling three young boys? Stressful. Highly stressful. I love my jobs. They're not really jobs. It's just fun. It's, you know, it's what most people do for hobbies. I get to play guitar and jump around on stage and pretend to be a rock star for a while. And then I get to isolate myself in my, this isn't my office. I'm in my wife's office at the moment. I by my little space where I get to close the door and write books it's an I love what I do it's amazing but I just can't say no I over commit to too much

so it becomes the juggle is just it's not even a juggle anymore it's a complete hailstorm of deadlines and uh trying to prioritize things it's it's pretty hectic it's pretty crazy but obviously on top of that yeah being a dad well i'm mrs fletcher's not exactly a non-busy woman is she let's be honest no and she's away she's working she's filming in italy for three weeks she's not here at the moment she's busy so yeah it's um she is also you know more busy than me a lot of the time so um yes it's challenging now I was set all set to ask about your broken arm in a spider band cast but it's clearly not yours which boy's got broken arm it was Buzz my our eldest he uh the weekend before going back to school he fell in the shower and chipped his front tooth and the

next day he broke his arm at the skate park so he just got knocked off his scooter and broke his wrist so yeah he had a bit of a bad weekend but I mean he is loving having his arm in a cast that looks like I say he got a red cast it's his favorite color and then he asked me to draw the spider-man make it look like it was spider-man's arm. So, I mean, you know, I remember being a kid and really wanting to break a bone so I can have a cast. Oh, me too. Me too. Yeah, he wants that attention. And now he's got the Spider-Man cast.

He's loving life at the moment. So what's it like being, like you guys put yourself in full view of the public. And is there actually loads of stuff you keep hidden? Or, you know, do we see Fletcher's warts and all it get I get the feeling we see you guys pretty much as you live your lives most of the time well yeah I mean do you know what about I would say just over a year ago maybe a bit more than that I decided to just slow down on social media it just becomes a big part of being if you have something to promote like if you're in a band if you're a musician or if you're an author you need to have some sort of presence on social media and you're you know that they the people who you know whether

it's your record label your publisher rely on you to promote it through those those channels and then I kind of and then I think that just went to a place where I was just like actually I'm doing stuff that I don't need to do and it takes up so much time and stress that I you know I don't I never want I never set out to be and not that I have a problem with the word influencer or people who that where that is their job it's you know it's an amazing that people can create a career out of being an influencer on social media but that wasn't what I set out to do and what I had any aspiration to do I love being in a band and I love being an author and so I just kind of thought

well actually I'll do the bits that I need to do of that social media stuff and the bits I genuinely just find fun sharing things like my you know I'm proud of the spider-man cast I made for my kids so I'll put that on social media but in terms of like vlogging and doing daily vlogs and all of that stuff that I used to do I'm just like man I just don't have the time or the energy I'd rather put that time and energy into right doing something that I find more kind of creatively fulfilling like writing a song or a book or doodling on my son's arm. Yes. What about the boys and their kind of part of that social media picture? You know, how do they feel about it? What will you do if they at one point say, you know, they become teenagers and are like dad yeah well it's interesting because at the moment it's a i'm trying to find like most parents i think now you try and find a balance of you know

whether you're in the public eye or not most people have a social media account and i think most parents have that question of oh should i share this picture of my kid at the beach or should i not and you know we have that as well and added to that the fact that people pay attention to what we say because we're in the public eye so yeah it's a real balance it's a real balancing act and there's certainly things that we don't show you know like just for mainly for our kids privacy I feel like we always just like to give an honest portrayal of who we are you know when we are tired and grumpy I will say that or I just won't post because I'm too you know depressed to post myself on social

media but it's more of a balance of our like things like oh we don't really we don't post pictures of our kids in their school uniform for example that's something we don't do. Although you do post pictures of yourself and Emma and Matt outside the school gates. But you should see the process of like okay where can you tell where that tree is can you tell where the road is do anyone know what like there's always that feeling of like right what is it you need to keep for just for you you know and just for us or just for thinking well people shouldn't know that because it's just safer for the for our family and for the kids if they don't know that yeah so it's been yeah it's been a juggling you know and we're learning it as we go along no one's got it you know figured out I feel like

I've probably overshared over the years and there's some stuff as well where you think oh I should have I wish I'd said that at the time because that moment's gone and it was it would have been better if I'd have shared how I was feeling then but that moment's passed now so yeah I mean it's an interesting kind of world we live in isn't it and the kids are definitely more you know especially Buzz our eight-year-old he's aware of it and there's some things where he's like dad can you put this on instagram because you know it'd be something he's really proud of like he just learned the national anthem on guitar on a guitar solo and he was the first thing he said when he recorded he wanted me to film and do it he was like can you put on instagram send it to all my friends can you send it to mcfly can you send like he wants everyone to see it but then interestingly there

was we were on holiday and i took a picture of him in the sunset and I put the Star Wars. I was going to post it. It was like one of those typical like Instagram things like, you know, his silhouette in the sunset. But it looked like that bit of Luke Skywalker in Star Wars. I put the Star Wars soundtrack on it and he heard it coming out my phone. And I just as I press send, he got really funny and was like, can you not put that on? Don't put that on Instagram. And it's the first time he'd ever said that.

And I was like, oh, that's really interesting. Totally caught me off guard I thought oh I need to really be check with him now like and and make sure he's okay with it he's totally aware of that world and it's different isn't it like if my daughter says can you put something on Instagram about 300 people see it whereas if you do there's a few more so it is that question with your kids as they get older of how willing are you for me to do this and at what point do they start doing it as well well yeah I know that's the thing and I don't want the fact that we do it and it's part of our jobs to do that to make them feel like they need to do it earlier than they should you know I feel like it's something that they you know because they've been quite late to the game in terms of getting things like we're just using like the

internet and screens and ipads and things like that we were really like it just wasn't really in their world like they thought ipads only worked on airplanes because that's the only time we let them have them on long haul flights that's the thing it's a great great hack for parents there they only work on airplanes that's the only time they come out but that it just wasn't really in our lives that thing and i've been trying to kind of hold off on the technology social media video game world that you know that i know a lot of lots of parents are trying it's a really tough line to walk isn't it to know what to do? Yeah, it really, really is challenging.

And yeah, and also because, you know, we don't, you know, things that some of their friends might do, for example, won't work for us because we're famous. So it doesn't work in the same way. Like you said, you know, people pay attention to what we post and what we do. So it's, yeah, it's challenging at times. No matter what stage of parenting you're at, from pregnancy through to the toddler years, we all need a little help. And Aldi's on hand with advice and support every step of the way.

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bullface names I guess they're just your mates aren't they there's people who are just our friends yeah but they also think they're the coolest but like to McFly my bandmates for example my boys love the guys like they the the best thing for them is just to come to our studio and hang out or come to a show and hang out backstage because they just you know that's they love hanging out with the guy and not in a not because they are in McFly they just love them and they're yeah it's like they're uncles you know but this year's been the first year I think they've been really aware of what i do band wise because for a long you know we had lockdowns there were no shows for two years basically and before that the mcfly was on a bit of a hiatus so

we didn't have any shows so this has been the first year where they've really got to see what i do on stage and it's just i've seen some like core memories being formed with especially with buzz where he's just really absorbing that it's a pretty cool thing to be in a band and you know to be on stage and play guitar and have people sing your songs but like he just is i'm witnessing him absorb that in the same way that i did when i was kids my dad was in a band that played you know like pubs and clubs and british legions and working men's clubs and things. But I looked up to him and idolized him, you know,

when I was the same age that my kids are now. So I've kind of seen that happen for the first time this summer, and that's been amazing. Finally, your long-term plans of creating this musical career have come to fruition because you're now an idol to your boys. Job done, finally. Yes, yes. because you're now an idol to your boys job done finally yes yes basically also but they were also my toughest uh critic and you know totally don't care about the things that I really care about that I really want them to care about but they're just like yeah can you don't play that one to get

let's don't play that song that one's rubbish that's brilliant they are your harsh one of my friends husbands is a musician and they're your absolute harshest critics aren't they oh yeah massively but it's just brilliant because they just don't have a filter they're completely honest that's why I love testing out my book ideas with them so I'm like no one else that's one thing when you the more kind of you know success you have or famous you get people don't ever tell you the truth and say no to you or tell you you suck when you suck and but your kids will so like they're the best person yeah like they're the best person to go to be like look i've got this idea i've got this song

what do you think and they literally say no that bit there is what does that mean that doesn't make any sense you need to change that i'm like okay this is great literally all we do in McFly now is go back and be like right so my kid said this about this bit my kid can't understand what we're saying here well you've all got loads of you got kids yeah we're literally we're breeding like uh we bred our kind of target audience well your target audience used to be me when I was a kid and and now it's my 10-year-old daughter. We're actually, it's been the first year where we're really seeing, it's one of the other inspirations for doing the album for Space Band was McFly gigs now. We're seeing so many 10-year-olds in the audience

that know every word to our songs. And people come along and be like, oh, my kid is playing guitar because of your band. And I feel like, okay, we've reached an age where a lot of our fans have kids who are you know eight nine ten so just trying to like be like well if we can be the first band that they come to that's amazing like I love it when someone says you were my first band you're my first concert I got into music because of you so I kind of feel like well my job as an author and I'd be like look my real passion is music if read this book, this whole other world is out there of music.

It doesn't have to be book fly, but just, you know, if I can inspire them to pick up a guitar or drumsticks or play piano or sing, then, you know, that's kind of my aim, I guess, with Space Band. I wanted to kind of go off on a more serious tangent. You've spoken openly about mental health, depression, eating disorders. Does your experience of mental health issues help you parent your boys? Oh, I absolutely think so. Yeah, 100%.

It certainly makes me so aware of spotting things. I feel like I realized I had – well had well like mental health is something we all have and I feel like I'm looking back through my life noticed things really early on even as young as my son is now you know when I was like eight nine ten being able to just spot things in your kids who think I do not wonder how I remember being like that and not saying stuff to my parents or not saying stuff to my friends being able to just sit down and talk with them about things there's a great advert on tv I forget what it was for what the it's a charity or something but where it's a daughter and a dad speaking and it has them speaking on a sofa and then subtitles of what the daughter's really thinking and it's about her friend at

school that she's arguing with and the dad kind of says are you okay she says yeah fine whatever and the subtype has come up saying no I'm really struggling or something like that of what she's actually feeling and we watched it was in the adverts actually when we're watching stuff about the queen with the kids and I said to the kids do you understand do you understand that advert what that meant and it opened up this whole other conversation about like look this it means it's it's okay to like to talk to me about the stuff we literally had this big deep conversation about the things that you might not initially talk to me about when I say how was your day at school and they say yeah it's fine you know it's okay to tell me the things that aren't fine as well so yeah I mean and I don't know if I would have been as equipped to deal with all of that

stuff if I hadn't gone through what I've been through in in my life you know because it's like everyone you know the things that we go through good and bad shape who we are and you know become your toolbox to dealing with you know you're well for me it's my toolbox as a parent but the only thing we have to help our kids navigate is our own experience of what happened and so and how we choose to share that with them yeah absolutely it's why I've never been like you know like my kids have seen me cry yeah but you cry all the time you publicize the fact that every movie strictly you blubbed your way through strictly no I remember one time though where I was I remember what happened I was sad about it or stressed out something Buzz just and I've just thought I'm not

going to go and hide and Buzz just said are you he said to me are you stressed dad you look really stressed and I think I'd been crying or something and I was like yeah do you know I am really stressed I was like his life's really stressful at the moment and I just explained to him I've got too much going on I can't say no can't say no I'm doing a tour and strictly and try you know and all this other stuff and so yeah I'm we're very honest with our kids like that deep down is Tom an author is he a singer is he a songwriter I'm not going to say is he a dad because that will obviously come first and foremost as will a husband she says hopefully but which one are you? it's some sort of famous quote that you guys might know, but I didn't, I didn't know. And I'm doing a terrible job of already of explaining it where they said, if you say the thing that you are, Oh,

what is it something like if you decide to be, if you know what you are, that's the thing you will become. And that's the, that's your burden or something like that's the price you pay is becoming that thing. And I feel like that, it just hit me because I was like actually the beauty of what I do is I don't really know what I am like I'm I love being an author I love being a musician obviously I love being a dad but also I'd like there's so many other things I want to do you know I was you know I wanted to be a pilot and I wanted to do what like all these

other things I still I feel like I've not really figured out who I am or what I want to do with my life I'm working that's why like I end up I'm working on a musical and a movie a lot of stuff that in fairness is to do with entertainment and you know the arts and things but you know I had aspirations to act and to sing but I also love being behind the scenes and writing so I feel like I don't know to answer your question there's a very long-winded answer to that question I don't have a clue what I am or who I am well thank you Tom thank you so much for joining us and telling us about your life thank you very much having me it's been a lovely chat