The Netmums Podcast - S9 Ep1: You, me and bubble tea with Angela Griffin

Episode Date: January 10, 2023

It's the first episode of a new year and a new season, and Wendy and Jen are joined by one of the nation's most loved actresses! Angela Griffin has been on our screens for the last 30 years and shows no sign of slowing down. When she's not on set somewhere filming another series, Angela is a full time mum who rails about vaping being aimed at kids and the exorbitant price of bubble tea! She also recognises that nobody has actually got parenting right in the history of childbirth, so whatever's going on in your house is almost certainly going on in other people's houses as well, and that's something we can all take comfort in.

You're listening to The Netmums Podcast with me, Wendy Gollage. And me, Jennifer Howes. On this week's show... To have the career that I've had and to do the job that I've done, do you know what I mean? Get paid for what is essentially some people's hobbies. I'd take it all day and night. But before all of that... Good morning, good morning, good morning.

Now, today is a lesson for me in faking it until you make it because i have got an unfair hangover people i have got a one and a bit glass of wine hangover that's not fair like if it's one and a half bottles i get it i had one and a half glasses and i feel like oh so if i'm rubbish today please give me some cut me some slack we going to let the guests do all the talking. Give you a glass of wine, basically? No, no, a coffee, please. Jen, introduce the guests. I've already balled up. Go on. Well, you can hear her dulcet tones a little bit as she's laughing there. We are delighted to have with us today, Angela Griffin. Now, I basically want to say, if you've watched TV over the past couple

of decades, you've watched Angela. Waterloo Road, Help, White Lines, Coronation Street, Crime, Lewis, Holby City, Postman Pat. Yes, that's right. She's hosted the Unwinds Mix with Angela Griffin on Radio 2, which I have to say is so lovely. It's this amazing kind of restorative and groovy mix. So that's regular listening for mine. She's been married to Jason Milligan, who's also an actor, since 2006. And they have two lovely daughters, Tallulah and Melissa. Welcome, Angela. Thanks so much for being here with us today. Absolute pleasure. I found myself nodding along going, yep, that's right. Yep, that's right. Good, good. I'm glad we got that all right. It just had to be so condensed

because you've got such a long kind of CV and so many accomplishments. Yeah, I've been around a long time. I can't lie about my age anymore because it's like, no, we know you've been on telly since like 1952. So, and obviously the career highlight was Pat, Postman Pat, obviously. It really was. It's the only thing that my kids

have ever really cared about. Like everything else, although actually no, Waterloo Road now they are a bit, it's kind of cool now. When I was filming it before, it wasn't cool to them. But now, because they're 18 and 15, it's quite cool because their friends are going to watch it or have caught up on it on the iPlayer.

But yeah, Amy the vet, Postman Pat, that's quite high on the old starometer in our house. So you've been acting since the early 90s. God, 90s when you were 17. I was 16 when I went into Coronation Street. But I'd done a couple of kids TV series. So my first professional engagement was 13. I went into Corrie when I was 16.

So how has that shaped you as a woman and a mum? How has living in the public world changed you? I don't really know any different, I think. So it clearly has shaped me. My life has always been under a spotlight. So I'm very aware of the fact that if if I do something it may end up in the papers and so I've been very careful of what I get up to but that that's not a bad thing really it's not a bad thing um but yeah I just I literally just don't know any different but what about when

you had the kids like obviously then it's not just you in the public eye did that shape how you were as a mum oh gosh when Tallulah when I was pregnant with Tallulah I was getting packed left right and center when when I had her I was getting packed it's so weird because it was it was kind of it was seen as being all right I remember being chased around Manchester city center with like my newborn like desperately trying to like keep her face covered so that she wouldn't get photographed. I didn't really moan about it. It was just, that was par for the course. What has been really good though is as they've got older, I've said, listen,

if you do anything, then it will be in the papers because you're my daughter. So you can't be going to parties and drinking and falling over because someone could easily take a picture of you and then it'd end up in the sun. Oh, that's the ultimate parental comeback. Don't go and vape in the car park because if you end up in the sun, I'm going to be really cross. And it's different because while you were being, you know, chased around and photographed by paparazzi,

now it could be one of their mates taking pictures. It's so true. It's so true. I mean, I have been lucky. I've not, you know, I didn't, it didn't infringe on my life where I kind of, you know, I know people who it really messed with and, you know, they were so worried about going out, so worried about going and doing things. And yeah, I kind of just never let it get

to me. I just got on with it really. And for me to have the career that I've had and to do the job that I've done, do you know what I mean? Get paid for what is essentially some people's hobbies. I'd take it all day and night. I've got to say it's worth it well speaking about kind of that journey from you know when you first started so young you've spoken a bit in the past about not growing up with a lot of money and as we're going into even kind of tougher economic times here in the UK do you have any lessons that you've kind of learned about money going from a situation where money was incredibly tight to being a successful actress, a successful kind of public figure? life. And for me, it made me go, I never want to be in the position that my mum found herself financially. Robbing Peter to pay Paul, catalogues, you know, paying it off, tick a bit at a time, but, you know, free school meals, all that kind of, you know, in my head, it was like, right,

I just don't want to do that. I was lucky enough that I then didn't have to do that. It's not because I was, you know, particularly better than anyone else. I just happened, you know, my, my job is a lot of luck. I know people who've worked just as hard as me, who've come from the same kind of place as me. And I still struggling because, you know, different jobs pay different, you know, amounts of money. So I was very aware that I didn't want to do that.

And I've been lucky enough that I didn't want to do that and I've been lucky enough that I haven't had to do it um but what I have also done is I like I bought a house on my 18th birthday I signed the mortgage on my 18th birthday and it was a pension mortgage because so it kind of was going to no remember endowments really old school, but it was like that with pension. So at the end of the term, I would pay off my mortgage and I would have my pension. And I was thinking in that way at 18 of I must save. I must make sure that, you know, I'm only working now for maybe a year and I might not work after that. I'm always in that mentality of I may never work again so I'm a I'm a real saver and I'm really I mean I like to have a nice time but I'm very aware that it could all end tomorrow and do you make the kids do that as well are they like we've just got our kids those little

you know I won't say the brand name but one of those little cards that's like their credit card and the concept of yes you have eight pounds on that card and those socks that this particular weekend it was a pair of knee-length furry socks that was the cause of the consternation and she had nine she gave me nine pounds and it was like well you haven't got enough money then have you and oh my god that blew her mind it's really good they are and what I'm doing at the moment is I'm blocking my daughters in what way so I block it because he just spends it on because it's really good it's like this cost this much and this cost this much excellent why are you blowing seven pounds on a bubble tea like save the money sit and I'm trying to instill it into them but it's it's difficult yeah they've

just not had the same they've just not had the same um um childhood and my eldest is now at university and she's learning a little bit more now because we kind of worked out how much she's going to have and she's there for four years and in the first week she's getting like 100 pounds a week and with that she's got to pay for everything. And I'm like, right, in the first year you'll get £100 a week. In the second year I'm going to give you £200 every two weeks. And then in the third year it'll be £300 every three weeks. Because I know if I just gave her it all now, she'd just spend it.

I'm just trying. I'm trying to instill it. But she knows that I will always be there for her, and I never had that. If I ran out of money, there was nothing. So I had to make sure that I will always be there for her and I never had that if I didn't if I ran out of money there was nothing so I had to make sure that I was met I didn't take a penny off my mum from the age of 16 not one penny and I'm paying for my daughter to go to uni and giving pocket money and I'm a bit like what I know it's different world and It's a different world and I have to respect that. And they haven't had the same childhood as me, so they can't understand it.

And yeah. But still, I think instilling those values and reminding them. I mean, as a kid, you don't really know anything about money. I can remember when I thought, you know, a hundred pounds was so much money. Oh my God, maybe one day I'll earn a hundred pounds. And in fact, but I like that idea. My daughter's also at university and she gets a weekly amount to spend on everything she needs to buy. But I like that idea of stretching out that

time. So first they budget little and then the amount of time they have to budget for gets bigger and bigger. Yeah, because I just, I can't bear the idea of giving her the money and her spending it all. And because you just need, you can't be given that amount of money. Well, because then you know

that you would end up giving her, you don't want her to starve. You don't, so you would end up saying, okay, here's some more money to eat. Yeah. And then you're like, well like well actually you didn't learn anything from that because I just gave you some more money yeah it's um it's a really it's a really tough time and it's it's you know I've given my kids the the childhood that I'm really I'm really happy about what we've done but there is a bit of me that goes yeah it's quite good to have something to rail against as well and here's the trick when I was at uni my mum wouldn't give me money she would come down and take me to Tesco and buy me like pasta and tuna and things that I could make

meals from so that she knew I wouldn't starve yeah Yeah. But I wasn't spending it on Blanc de Blanc cheap French wine in the corner shop or seven pound bubble teas. Bubble tea is gross, by the way, can we just say. I've heard Wendy Rayl against bubble tea before. It's a thing. It's a thing. Also, my kids obsessed with it too. What is the obsession with bubble tea?

I don't know. There's always something, isn't it? There's always, whether it the obsession with bubble tea I don't know I just there's always something isn't there's always whether it's slime or bubble tea there's something that they really want to waste my money on my seven-year-old is currently obsessed with blue tack which I'm just fine with because it's two pounds pack excellent yeah off your pop darling that's fine well I want to talk to you about brown Britain, please, which was just brilliant. How do you think it's changed in Britain for mixed race people since you did that programme back in 2001? Yeah, I mean, well, there's a lot more of us for a start.

And that was kind of what what kicked that documentary off because it was there was the census and it was the mixed race population was the biggest growing population. I mean, the landscape's changed massively. And what's interesting now is now you have colourism. There's so many more opportunities and people have got, where you have to have a certain amount of people from diverse backgrounds and disability and regional and so on and so forth. And now we're getting into kind of the, you know, the colourism, the shades, the representation from all aspects.

So it's, you know, society has certainly improved. Television wise, representation on screen has certainly improved there's still just a long way to go as far as I'm concerned especially not just on screen behind the scenes as well in terms of of diversity I think that definitely racial diversity has has you know really grown but I'm I'm a massive regional diversity advocate and class as well in terms of getting working class northern talent of every shade and of every um sexuality into an industry that that shouldn't have any barriers for for people like that so yeah i think since brown britain things have definitely improved they've changed but yeah there's always there's always there's always more that can be

done going on from that too uh i was looking at your site and you have obviously hair is a big topic of discussion for women of color you know what are your tips and advice to women and girls with your type of hair and parents who have children who you know they they either might be black or white, but then they have, they have to deal with a kind of hair type that's different from their own. Which, which actually I also had to do. It was both my children. So I kind of had this, this childhood where there were no products for, for mixed race hair. Cause it's not, it's not, it's Afro, but it's not coarse Afro. It's not the really tight curl.

So it's a looser curl, but it's not a European curl. So it was, I used to have to kind of blend loads of different products together when I was younger. Now, oh my gosh, I can go into any high street chemist. And there are not just one brand of hair hair products there's like three or four and they're all accessible they're all at a price point where where you can you can afford them because it's you need so many products is what i've found just so much like this on the back oh just put a 10 pence size bit of conditioner what What are you on about? Just what's the rubbish? Half a bottle, please. Exactly.

And then I went through a stage with somebody, it was some French brand someone told me about. It was like 40 quid for a conditioner. And I was using it in three or four go. It's no longer like that. And you can get really good price point products for hair of differing types um of curl because there isn't just one it's just not one afro hair or loose afro or there's you know and you still

have to shop about but it is way way way better now than what it ever was um but and bless my mum my mum's blonde hair blue eyes and she did what she could with my hair when she was younger and I've now over the years I've learned how to deal with it I know what to do I know about treatments I know about twisting and all these different things cut to I have my kids they've both got straight European hair and i'm like what do you with this i'm like i wash my hair maybe once a week snap like 10 days two weeks can go by you would never know they have to do it every day when they were younger i'd like leave it and my husband jason's like what are you doing gotta wash the hair it's like no we don't it's like it's not your doing? You've got to wash their hair. He's like, no, we don't. It's like, it's not your hair.

Right, it's starting to smell. It's time to wash their hair. They've got grease. Brilliant. I've always wanted grease. So luckily they've got a rather exceptional father who worked in a barber's when he was younger, swept the floor, but also has somehow

learned how to blow dry. So bless them, they've had blow dry dries from their dad since they ever wanted them. So I've never really needed to do it. I could do the braids, but yeah. There's a YouTube clip that did the rounds years ago of a dad doing his daughter's ponytail with a Hoover. Have you seen it? But I will be Googling it straight away.

We'll get the netmum social team to put it up while we do the podcast but it's like he basically like he holds the hair and he puts it in a hoover and it goes and the bubble goes on that is absolutely so that's the old i've had to teach my husband to do hair because i've got two girls and he's got no hair so oh okay it's a lesson to a boy but he didn't he was like why do you use conditioner I was like because there's less screaming if you use you come to the brushing element yeah Jay's been really good I've been really dead lucky with him what I want to know is which of all these hundreds of shows that you've worked on has your heart which is the one that you love the most? It is really hard there's jobs because each

of the jobs brings something different to it the job that I go I want to go back and do that job was a job that I did that nobody really watched in this country. And it was in Canada called the detail. And it was, I was American and I had a gun and I was a cop and I had to do stunts. Boom. There we go. That's like my dream job. It was basically Scott and Bailey that was on TV here with Saran Jones and Leslie Sharp. And it was remade for CTV in Canada. And I just, I was Leslie Sharp and i just loved it but that was just purely from that kind of acting point of view of of the action that i got to do

feeling a bit like charlie's angel with your gun and that's it exactly that well i worked really hard there and i didn't really go out and socialize anything. So it wasn't the funnest job. But then the funnest, probably the funnest, funnest job I had was cutting it. It was so fun to watch, though. It looked fun. And we had such fun making it. We had such fun making it. And we really socialised loads. We're still friends now. And it was it was a really interesting time in Manchester. I'm actually, where I'm staying now is very close to where the original salons were.

And I think about it every single time I walk past. And it's such a different city now. It was just on the verge when we shot that. It was like 2002, 2001, 2002. And Manchester was just really coming to life the northern quarter and and coats and um it was just really dead exciting and then when it was a success you know we made it and we had no idea what it was going to do and it was this huge success and there was nothing like shooting a second series of something that's been really successful. You are a little bit smug. Yeah, it was that was a really cool, cool, cool time.

But then when I went and did Holby, I met my two best friends and we from day one just bonded. And then to get to work with them every single day for like we did three series of that was just amazing but holby is you've worked for a lot of what i would call institutional i can't speak this is the hangover institutional tv programs cory holby you know they are the fabric of the nation and holby's just so loved I just think it feels like a real family was it oh my god it absolutely was it really was when you're spending that much time with people you know you're spending more time at work than you are at home you're doing 12 hour days and it was there were busy schedules absolutely it becomes a family um you know, you don't, I've not taken friends off every job I've

ever done. It is a really special thing. You know, you stay in touch and, you know, you'll see people out and you'll occasionally get together, but it's, it's quite rare that you go onto a job. You're a family while you're there. And then we're a little bit traveler-like where we just, we're in, we're best friends, we're best friends, we're best friends. And then we leave and then we're gone. And we, you know, we're not friends we're best friends we're best friends and then we leave and then we're gone and we you know we're not not friends but we're not best friends anymore if you manage to take one or two friends from each job you're dead lucky and i've had two jobs where i've really lisa and nicola from lisa faulkner and nicola stevenson from holby and then sarah parish manderholden and lucy gaskell uh from cutting it uh i mean we're literally going away the week after next

oh and Tamsin as well, I got Tamsin off a play big house and we are all going and we don't we leave the house a little bit to go and walk and so on and we're going to the coast but we mainly stay

in the house where nobody can see us and nobody can hear us and nobody can hear us. And we talk constantly for however long we're there for. I can't wait. So we have to come back to being a parent of teens. Maybe this is just purely selfish because I am a parent of a teen. But I really would like to hear any kind of advice or learnings. What was yours?

Mine's 18 and I have a stepson. He's 23 now. So out of the teen years, but, but yes, we had, you know, some rocky times with the teenager and,

you know, some good times now she's, she's away at uni but uh she's not in the house anymore life is great you said it i didn't you said it so yeah obviously my tip is how to you know advice for living with teens is send them away. What's your advice? Do you know what? There is no advice to give because no one will listen because you don't think it will ever happen to your kid. You see people. So at my, my, I had kids first out of

my friendship group. And I can see when I'm saying the various things that are happening in my household, I can see their faces going, oh, that's awful. It'll never happen to me. Not my little one. She still sits on my knee. She's still, you know, blah, blah, blah.

And slowly but surely, they're all coming home, doing the same things. So there's just no point giving advice. You all think your kids are brilliant. They are brilliant. But they are definitely going to be points. I like the fact you measured what you were going to say then.

You thought very hard. Because they can hear yes um there will be definitely points when you go why did nobody tell me about this who said having kids was a good idea i'm putting it out there right it doesn't make you a bad person you will question in those teenage years why you thought this was a good idea you feel so guilty when you're feeling it you feel so guilty when you're speaking to your partner husband whoever in bed at night and you're sobbing you go it's just I like why did we do this why have we why have we put ourselves through this and you do you will always love them but it is I remember people saying it's the hardest part

it's the hardest job it's the hardest this and I was one of the smog oids I was one of the ones going yes but you know I fed them organic vegetables and breastfed them till they were like six months I've done all the things right there I'm not going to have one of those and I did I've got them yeah an organic butternut squash makes no difference when you're trying to decide whether they're vaping or not see I'm a bit worried about this because I've got an 11 year old so I am on the cusp of all this shiz coming my way I'm a bit scared oh god there's so much honestly there's just so much to it because there's a bit of me that goes just be really open just they will come home

and they will say things and they will do things that you go oh and you just have to everything i'd say but it's everything is a bit of a phase they go through things and when they are in that it is everything they mean it it is true to them it is absolutely true to them you have to respect that but there is also a little bit of me that goes we were really yeah that's fine yeah that's fine and I genuinely feel that they went all right that's fine is it right what else can I do then what can I do that won't be fine because I don't want you to be fine with what I'm doing I I want you to disapprove. And so sometimes I think you have to fake disapprove. Well, I'm already non-fake disapproving of the bubble tea. So there's a lot of bubble tea disapproval. The bubble tea and the vaping, obviously. Well, yeah, at 11, I can just put it

out there. She's not started vaping yet. Well, not that I know of. I am so angry about vaping. I smoked when I was younger. I smoked from being 13 years old and I smoked until I was 27 and I smoked 20, 30 cigarettes a day. And I did it because I thought it was cool, but I was massively addicted. Read a book, 27, gave up smoking.

I have said to my children, you can come home with anything and I will work it out with you. I will, you know, we will work it out. The one thing that we cannot work out, the one thing that I absolutely categorically 100,000 bazillion percent will never be fine with is if you smoke or vape and become addicted to the most pointless drug in the entire world. I think especially the vaping, I would tell my daughter, like, we don't even know. It's so new. We don't even know what those chemicals are doing to you. Well, there's a woman on Instagram, someone sent me a video, a woman on Instagram, an influencer,

a blogger, whose lung collapsed, and she's in hospital putting a filter on her face, obviously, because that's the age that we live in. With her collapsed lung going, please don't, you know, this is what's happened because I've been vaping and da-da-da, and she's got a filter on her face that says, so cute, so cute, so cute, lying in bed with a punctured lung. I send that to my children. I mean, we know that whatever it's doing it's not good but the fact that there's like custard pie flavor aiming it at kids exactly it's just I find it mind-blowing yeah I'm with you yeah I mean I could talk about it for ages but I won't because it'll make me cry but yeah it's it's it's really hard of it it's really hard having teenagers. Our daughter came home this weekend for the first time since she went to uni.

And it was incredible. It was the most beautiful weekend that we've had as a family of four for years. We came home and she really, and it's not one of them, it's both of them. It's the situation. And, you know, I made a roast dinner and she's like and she really and it's and it's both no it's not one of them it's both of them it's the situation and you know I made a roast dinner and she's like yes please should we go walk the dog yeah let's go walk the dog I'm gonna wake you up at 10 o'clock because I want to see you yeah okay okay brilliant should we ask her something else and then the other daughter was coming and we went out for dinner can I take a photo can I put it on Instagram yeah yeah all right then and honestly amazing downside is when I then had to leave to come to work it was the hardest saying goodbye sometimes I say goodbye and I'm really happy to be out that

house um I was it was heartbreaking this weekend to say goodbye and no I'm not going to see them so sometimes it's nice when there's a bit of you don't miss them. Well I'm going to take from this that I have to ride out the next six or so years and be occasionally disapproving and hope for the best. And know that nobody's got it right no it is happening in everybody's house whatever they say it just is it might not be happening on the scale that it's happening in your house but it's happening everyone is in the same boat some people talk about it some people don't talk about it but you are you're not on your own this is not just happening to you well on that, we will let you go off and finish the rest of your day.

Thank you so much. Great chat. I told you at the beginning, we just talk a load of nonsense for 45 minutes. I love it. Love it. Thank you so much. Thank you for joining us.