The Nick DiPaolo Show - 042 - R.I.P. Robin Williams

Episode Date: August 13, 2014

R.I.P. Robin Williams

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Make me sound like Peggy Lee. This is AFPN rocking you from the delta to the dmz afbn better than afvd which means you have to get a quick shot we're moving on right now here's a little riddle for you what's the difference between the army and the cub scouts cub scouts don't have heavy artillery. Talking out in the field today. Hi, what's your name? My name's Bob Fibber. Bob, what do you do? I'm in artillery. Thank you, Bob. Can we play anything for you? Anything! Just play it loud, okay?

And who gave anyone permission to program modern music? Freddie and the Dreamers. We lost another one, folks. God, what is going on? Bad year for comedians. David Brenner, I think. That was this year, wasn't it? Time's going so fast, I can't remember.

Otto and George. This guy, Rich Schleissler last week uh from boston uh robin williams what the hell's going on i'm forgetting one aren't i very always when i can't remember but god what the hell is going on? Robin Williams, you know, mixed emotions. I mean, it's obviously sad. It's just, I like them better as an actor than I did a comedian, even though, funny guy, no doubt about it.

But it's so funny, when he was alive and when he was at the peak of his fame, there's so many people saying, he's a thief, he steals from everybody you didn't hear all this love but I mean obviously a huge hit with the public and definitely super talent man I mean unbelievably funny but I liked him I really liked him as an actor more than I did a comedian you know it's just different styles and different tastes and um the guy could you know be as funny as anybody uh off the cuff and uh ah it's it's uh it is it's sad you know but uh i loved them in goodwill hunting he got an oscar for that supporting actor i believe and um good Good Morning Vietnam, the clip I just played, he was winging a lot of that.

The guy was super talented. And even in some of those corny movies, Mrs. Doubtfire, which me and Colin Quinn used to torture each other with that movie because we just found it really kind of don't know, kind of annoying. But still, it's unbelievable what he was able to do. He was in every frame of the film, and just the whole thing was him, basically, showing off his talents, you know.

It's just too bad they had to put it into a corny Hollywood script. But me and Quinn still torture each other, you know. He'll call me and go hey yeah and he's done this before and I've mentioned it on previous podcasts he'll be like hey there's a uh HBO there's a special on Sam Kinison whatever and I'll you know I'll flip over from whatever I'm watching and it'll be uh it'll be Mrs. Doubtfire you know Robin Williams trying to put his tits out when they caught on fire with with two uh lids from a frying pan or something and uh and i just hear quinn laughing his balls off and and then when he's on the road like i'll

be on you know flipping through channels and see mrs doubtfire on tv i'll take a picture you know a picture of my tv of robin williams in one of the scenes of Mrs. Dover, and just texted to him just to irritate him, and then he'll call me and ramble. But it's sad, man. The whole depression thing is just, I, as a sophomore in high school, I experienced, I had depression for about a year. And I think, looking back on it, it was because of my age, it was probably hormonal.

But it was the most horrible, I couldn't was because of my age. It was probably hormonal, but it was the most horrible. I couldn't get out of my own head. And I'm sure some of you listening have, you know, had bouts with this stuff. I'd rather a, you know, I'd rather a broken bone because when it's in your head, man, it is just, you just feel everything feels worthless and there's no value to anything. you just feel everything feels worthless and there's no value to anything and um i only had about a year but i just remember going out with my family trying to you know we had a small boat my dad would take us out on like a on a saturday they were trying to like cheer me up and i was just sitting at the front of the boat going this is so meaningless it's just everybody's having a good time you just don't feel anything it's it's just horrible i can't imagine people have to deal with this their whole lives

but it is and i think it is common and a lot of people in the arts whether it's actors or especially comedians who you know seem gregarious especially like robin williams who was on all the time he's really masking something and then trying to you know cover it with the alcohol or coke or whatever which only makes it worse i mean i did a little bit of coke when everybody else did in the 80s and 90s or whatever and you know it feels good for about five minutes and then at the opposite end when you came down off coke it reminded me back when i was in high school going through depression as a sophomore and just feeling just horrendous. You don't want to get out of bed. You don't want to shower.

And it's fucking horrible. And thank God, like I said, I think it's because it was my age at that point. And I just outgrew whatever hormone changes. That's what I chalk it up to for me. But people who have to deal with it, I mean, you know, throughout their lives, I can't imagine going through that. And, you know, as soon as I heard this, I was thinking of Richard Jenny, who took his own life, who was another tremendous comedian. But, you know, he had a horrible, horrible mental illness

that he had to take medication for for years and um and got to meet robin williams uh just once briefly at the comedy cellar he was in town doing a movie or broadway or something i mean guy could do anything uh we were sitting at the comedy cellar table and he comes in and sits down with us and just joins right in and couldn't have been nicer or funnier and laughing at everything we said and um i think a lot of people were jealous of him you know that attacked him at the height of his uh career but um you know some of his prowess comedy prowess is a little over exaggerated i think you know but but there's no doubt he could do anything which is crazy and i'm old enough to remember him on mork and mindy with that nanu nanu

shit that uh he does uh you know does a cameo on him before he's famous and they do a spin on he did on happy days i should say he did a cameo walk on on Happy Days, and it spun into Mork and Mindy, which really, you know, showed how great he was in ad-libberant stuff. So he could really wing it and be funny. And, yeah, it was just horrible to hear, man. I'm just sitting there watching TV yesterday, and it comes on, and I'm like, you have to be shitting me. I mean, Christ, how many are we going to lose this year?

It's, I don't know. Here's a little more of him. I think it was on the Tonight Show back in 90, 91, I want to say. I'm William Shakespeare, right? Kiss my tits. With Johnny Carson, obviously. Did you ever do any Shakespeare? You didn't wait I'm William Shakespeare, right? Kiss my tits. Johnny Carson, obviously. Did you ever do any Shakespeare? You did Waiting for Godot?

I did Waiting for Godot. I did Shakespeare. It's exciting to wear tights and have people go, I can't see anything. He's not there yet. Someone give him a dagger. Thank you. There's a dagger I see in my hand.

What is this I hold before me? Oh, what a rogue and peasant slave. Nothing. That's just a window of discontent. All right, let it breathe. You ever picture different people playing Hamlet, say to be or not to be, like Stallone? Oh, Stallone.

Mel Gibson just did Hamlet pretty good, I hear. No, Johnny, don't go there. No. It's not great to hear that. But Stallone, I couldn't say. Stallone, you could say, like, to be or what, Stallone. Mel Gibson just did Hamlet. Pretty good, I guess. No, Johnny, don't go there. No. It's not great to hear that. Stallone, I couldn't say. Stallone, you could feel like to be a what, you know. Schwarzenegger walks into the room. I'm back.

Watch out, Denmark. Mother, come here. I love you. Big kiss for you. Sorry, you're dead. Look over here. I'm going to do another speech, but first first i'm going to tear through a wall and flex my nipples don't be afraid of me don't be afraid

yeah you can check him out you know all those clips he's on let him in a thousand times in the tonight show on the crowd just you know i mean what a career my goodness but uh married three times and you think a guy like that has the you know has life by the balls but um you know he's masking a lot and but i love the you know a lot of films fisher king i loved he was great in that and dead poet society was all right um and a lot of stuff mrs. dogfire the birdcage and you know theater everything this guy uh super talented 63 way too Whether you liked them or not. What are you going to do, huh? Robin Williams, rest in peace, pal. And I'm not going to go, heaven just got a lot funnier.

Because we don't know where he is, okay? Depending on who you talk to, what comics. Where was I this weekend uh what did i do i went to uh my sister had her 30th uh anniversary her and my brother-in-law rich been married 30 years they rented a house they live outside of philly they rented a house up in gloucester uh good harbor beach i know you new englanders know what i'm talking about people in the boston area it's in Gloucester, Good Harbor Beach. I know you New Englanders know what I'm talking about, people in the Boston area. It's in Gloucester, Mass. If you saw the movie The Perfect Storm, it's based on those fishermen out of Gloucester, Mass. That's about 20 minutes north from where I live, right up Route 128.

We used to play them on Thanksgiving and football. And Gloucester, not only known for, you know, obviously worldwide for fishing, but a lot of weed has been smuggled into the port of Gloucester. I know a few guys who actually did time. And they were always good athletes. They were partiers, a lot of Italian, you know, working class.

But like my senior year in high school, they were always good in sports. They were good athletes, but they were wild kids. And my senior year, the whole, like the first and second line on their varsity hockey team was booted for the season because they did a raid and found all kinds of drugs in their lockers and stuff and um it's a beautiful part of the country you should go up there if you've never been to um you know good harbor beach there's another another beach called wingersheet beach um those are the two big ones when i was in high school that would go up to

and and uh so my sister rented a house in good harbor we had a family reunion you know look i'm in my early 50s and uh you know i mean relatives are getting up there you got to see each other as much as you can when you can and it was this beautiful house within walking distance of the beach and um it was just a blast be good harbor uh the minute i hear good harbor beach i think of high school um when i was in high school we used to hang out at a place called pickering's wharf in salem massachusetts was all bars and restaurants right on the water and i'm picking a girl picking a girl up at brandy's i can still to this day see her we were both what she was a cheerleader she was a football cheerleader for gloucester and um i still can see her man dirty blonde short hair these green green eyes and ass on her you

could break beer bottles on and i remember picking pick around brandy's and she was from gloucester so she led me up to good harbor beach and full moon that night i can still see her tan lines are standing up mother of jesus help me oh lord no need to see alice back then you know not that there is no i'm just saying you know don't you love those cialis commercials oh is that how marriage is you've been banging the same broad for 30 years and all of a sudden you bang elbows while you're wallpapering, and the next second you're in the 69 position because you took Cialis before you started putting up fucking wallpaper. Yeah, that's how it works.

Give me a break. I have to give booze and pills. I have to, you know, drop a pill in my wife's drink like I was at a singles bar in my 20s to get her in bed. But that's my fault. But yeah good harbor beach and uh that's what i think of every time i hear good harbor beach i see that heart-shaped ass yikes where does the time go yeah fast forward to 40 years later having a reunion but it's so funny so we went to we hung out she had it catered by a place called woodman's which is world renowned i've seen it on the food network for their for

their seafood i mean just lobster you know fried clams steamers all that stuff that's on the england she had it catered by them and ribs and and uh just awesome just sitting there eating i was trying to be polite it's's one of those things, you know, you go up to the table, there's a bunch of lobsters, you know, then you go back, you're like, should I go back for a second or am I being a pig? Then at the end of the day,

I found out they had like seven extras and they wanted people to take them. I would have been a chowhound. I would have eaten seven. Can't get enough lobster, man. You know, drinking drinking drinking like a fish eating like a pig steamers which i absolutely love a lot of sand and steamers i i took a dump at the you know the house at the end of the party

there was a sand castle on the turlet robin would enjoy that one um but we go to the beach at the end of the day like five o'clock we wander over to the beach you know it's about a quarter mile away and um it's so funny just you go into the water was 62 degrees and 62 is freaking freezing folks i know you people have pools you keep it like 78 but it was just so i jumped in and just reminded me of high school you go in it feels like your ears are gonna snap off for like three seconds you do get used to it but you know you lose two toes in the process just fucking frigid i was just thinking of like people that let's say i was just thinking of like uh xander bogarts the the guy from aruba that plays for the red sox i just picture something

like the red sox dragging him up to one of these beaches on the North Shore of Massachusetts. This guy grew up in Aruba and telling him to go in the water. And he'd be like, you have to be fucking kidding me. Are you people nuts? It like knocks the wind out of you. Even with like eight beers in me. It was just brutally frigging cold. Perfect fucking weather.

So, yeah, I ate like a pig, and I look like a pig. But Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, go up there. Go up there for the food. There's tremendous restaurants everywhere. And had the parents in the back seat. Went from my house, my parents' house, and had them in my back seat. I drove up to Gloucester. That gets a little hairy with Mom going,

ooh, you're going a little faster. She sounded just like Jay Leno's mother and all the jokes he used to do about his mom. Do you really have to pass this guy? You can stay right behind. And I'm like, eh, eh, eh, trying to behave myself, and, you know, tension grows in the car car and as soon as we get there i run over

and have three drinks to take the edge off and then i get even uglier but uh good time then we go from there at the end of the day drop the parents off me and the wife the next day get up and go to uh to uh craftsbury vermont where where my sister Gina and her husband bought a bed and breakfast like 11 years ago. And they've been working on it, like, you know, pecking at it every weekend, doing work on it for 11 years. And I've been hearing about it.

My whole family's been up there, you know, a couple times, but because I live here and I hadn't been there. But finally, so I got a chance to go up there and me and my wife and my buddy Greg Zook, who you might recognize his name at the end of my Raw Nerve special. I always mention him at the end of my special. He's the reason really that I got into standup comedy.

He was four years older than me, best friends with my brother-in-law who married my sister Darlene his name is David but uh Greg Zook he's been a cop down in Miami for the last 30 years now he's a lawyer and thinking about finally getting out of that hellhole we've been trying to you know he's got plenty of money he you know every paycheck he got he had a pension actually earned it though he went undercover he undercover. He's been shot at. He shot at people. And just left one of the funniest fucks on the face of the earth.

Met him when I was, you know, like a freshman or an eighth grade. He used to come over to the house on Sunday and make me laugh until I cried. And he's still funny. And so he's been up here for like a month. I didn't even know that. So I invited him to come up to Vermont with me and my wife to my sister Gina's. Of course, the whole family loves Zook.

And he's just a funny master. And we drove. It was from my parents' house. It was about a, was it about four hours? Of course, I'm driving and my wife wants to stop to get something to eat and my friend wants to piss.

And I'm like, no, you're both going to suffer, you miserable, and they're just... I'm one of these guys that gets in the car. I don't care if you have internal bleeding. I'm not stopping, all right? I want to make good time. Just, you should have heard me yelling at my wife,

my wife yelling at Zook, Zook yelling at me. Just hilarious. I mean, just just brutal brutally funny guy and just it's just vermont hadn't been there forever it's just so beautiful up there we get up there and this is beautiful it's just i was expecting bed and breakfast i always picture like a three-story old house for some reason because i've gone to a few of those with my wife and that's what they always look this thing was like like almost like a small hotel it's got like seven eight bedrooms six bathrooms my my brother-in-law tim turned one end and this one part of the uh part of the building

into a pub like a sports bar it's an actual bar in there and um you know huge flat screen tv and his uh sports memorabilia everywhere i mean just tremendous i'm laying on a couch i felt like i was i was at a bar in public laying on a couch watching rory mcelroy as i'm drinking and just unbelievable we all had our own bedrooms it was bedrooms to spare they had done so much work on this thing. And just awesome. It was like a fraternity house. Have you been into a fraternity? It's like one of those, it was built in the 1800s, you know,

with a huge old stove in the kitchen and all. They restored it. And I don't know where my sister's getting her money. Selling Coke or something. I don't know. No, she's into, I don't know. I think she flips houses and stuff. I don't even know.

She's like an interior decorator. She could do anything. She reminds me of my wife. But just awesome. Just an awesome place, man. Vermont is just so beautiful. And a couple of my sister's friends were over who are from Vermont. This guy actually helped my brother-in-law redo the whole place.

But just, four and a half, five acres. And there's cows. There's nothing but corn across. It's so peaceful. It just looks so frigging inviting at this point in my life. It really does. I mean, years ago, I'd be like, how the fuck can anybody live up here? But now it just

looks so inviting i need to make a big score you know i need to make a big score over the next five years you know and uh buy something like this and the the people that were up there that were from vermont took us to lake willoughby which is this unbelievably it's seven miles long which is pretty big for a lake in vermont 300 feet deep in the middle and there's you know there's these beautiful houses right on the lake not even that expensive i'm telling you and uh boy i like to enjoy my retirement years up there just this crystal clear lake and uh the guy actually told me because it's so deep in the middle for a lake that they people sometimes they've they've found a couple bodies down there apparently unbelievable on the way up there that's what i kept saying you know if you i said to my

wife you know if i ever kill you or you kill me i mean look around They would never find the body. Never. Just woods all the way up there. And every time we're just sitting out front on this porch drinking, and people are going by. My sister's like, yeah, he works for Cabot Cheese. That's Jim. That guy gets us our milk. Everybody, they don't lock their doors.

And it's so funny. Vermont, you know, Bernie Sanders, the senator from Vermont, is like, you know, he's a socialist. But it's so like, it's so left wing, it's right wing. There's no cops in my sister's town. There's no cops. There's no police. It's just, you know you can drink my brother-in-law goes you see people going by drinking in their trucks and and you know you take a piss on the side or nobody bothers you

it's so left it's right like they hate the government up there it's it's it's like come full circle it's crazy you don't need 11 permits if you want to put a tree you know cut down a tree or something it's the way it's supposed to be it's called liberty folks so it looks like a great place to retire though i really do i want to get a place on lake willoughby that's my goal i'm gonna have to do it one gig at a time hopefully improbable keep booking me but uh yeah it was just they took us like around sundown to see some of these horses this there's a guy up there it's about 30 minutes from my sister's house who rescues horses i can't believe you know now that my wife has a horse i don't know people buy horses and just let them starve and shit it is really disgusting so this guy rescues horses

up there this um so the the couple from vermont took us to this place and you go up to the fence and it's like 15 horses come walking over some of them you can see their ribs and shit and this guy saving them apparently but it's it just made me more depressed it was so goddamn depressing how people treat animals at least this guy's trying to save them but there's like a thousand flies in their eyes you know you can buy face masks for horses to prevent that shit i'm gonna send some up there but it was like uh it was kind of sad actually but it's so beautiful the sun's going down behind the horses it felt like it was in wyoming waiting to catch a bullet in the ass from Dick Cheney.

Yeah, so Vermont is just a gorgeous joint. Gorgeous state. And it looks like it did when I was up there when I was 10. It looks like nobody else

has moved up there. Cold as a bastard. I'm sure. In the winter, but you know what, I'll deal with it, they had like a wood-burning stove in the pub, and in the pub part of the house, and just all the shit, the stove, the original stove that came with the house, I mean, I guess it's worth like 15, 20 grand. Just frigging awesome. And yeah, that's what I did for the weekend. But that guy Zook, man, I'm telling you.

Greg Zook is his name. And he had me laughing until I was crying in the car. I can't even remember the shit. It was just so rapid fire. Just the verbal abuse. But you'll see his name in the credits on the next special if i ever get it out there um oh one other thing about rob williams on the latest i read uh on the internet out of marin county you know they were saying possible possibly he hung himself you know it said asphyxiation at the beginning but now they're

they might they think it might you know was hanging which is just how can i get that bad um stayed at my parents they live on the north shore like i said 20 minutes south of gloucester and i'm my mother who i love to death but she gets up her whole life she's been getting up at 5 a.m and um i stay downstairs on the couch in the tv room because it's cooler down there i need i if it's above 62 in my room i can't sleep so i slept, which is nice and cool. But she comes down at 5 a.m. My mother's already up going up and down the stairs. I don't know. There's a bathroom down there, too.

So she takes showering and stuff downstairs and going up. It's 5 a.m. I've already documented with you guys my insomnia problems. And she's going up and down like five times. She gets up at five, folks. She's in her mid-70s. It's not like she has babies anymore that I know of. Maybe a couple of black ones, but what is she doing?

And there I am, fucking wide awake. And they wonder why, oh, he's really cranky. His hair hasn't changed since he was a kid. 5 a.m. She's up and running around the goddamn house. Can't explain it. I guess when you get to that age, you don't want to spend it

in your bed, but holy shit. I know goddamn volunteer fishermen who don't get up that early. The fuck? I'm still tired over it. You can never go home running down the fork what the hell else is going on well i was gone i stayed away from the ipad and uh i had my cell phone you couldn't get a signal up in vermont which i freaking loved

and i didn't even bother when i was in gloucester checking it you know when i when i take a few days off i take a few days off i don't want to hear from anybody but uh you know just before we are leaving i know we cut loose obama finally got some balls and decided to bomb isis is this guy's the most indecisive president in the history of the friggin war? I feel bad for the guy. But when you think about it, it really is funny. We have the former president of the Law Review, okay, at Harvard, the Harvard Law Review, and he's commander-in-chief of a military. Think about how fucking oxymoronic that is.

Just hilarious. Same thing, you know. I mean, it's just hilarious. Same thing, you know. I mean, it's just hilarious. It's just friggin... It's like having Joan Baez head up the Navy. How fucking stupid a system is that? He doesn't know what he's doing. He has blown every call as far as foreign policy,

and you can't argue with that. If you do, you're just being disingenuous. He is the friggin'... So he finally decides to help these poor cities that are up on a mountain isis well they're burying kids alive so that's all you need to know about them why would you want to strafe them when fucking carpet bomb them into the stone age fucking backward fucks but uh yeah so i guess and you know but once again he announces we're not going

to put boots on the truck and And this is just a temporary. Instead of just saying we're going to blow you into the fucking Stone Age. You know, he lets them know ahead of time. The problem is he's got nobody around him that has any experience. He's surrounded himself with a bunch of people like him who used to work at Google and shit. You know what I mean? You need a Dick Cheney. You need a guy with, you know, blood in his, ice water in his veins.

The guy's getting no help from anybody. Doesn't, you know. And meanwhile, he's in Martha's Vineyard. The poor bastard, every time he takes a vacation, something breaks out. I swear to God, our enemies are going, ah. Yeah. They call up like some restaurant in Martha's Vineyard. You go, ah, the president's going to be there in about a month.

Is that correct? Yeah, it is. He's staying right at Edgerton. Okay. And then they fucking go wild. Poor bastard, every time he takes a vacation. But it doesn't look good. The optics aren't good.

He's out there golfing while the world is burning. And it really is. I mean, holy shit. And why are we helping these cities when, you know, when we didn't arm the rebels in Syria, right? Why are we helping one cities when you know when we we didn't we didn't arm the rebels in syria right why are we helping one people but not another that's actually a legitimate question and of course that's what hillary's asking now gonna always his policy is just dumb yeah well you're the secretary of state why didn't you speak up when you were secretary of state now

she's trying to separate herself from the president's policy it's also goddamn transparent it's embarrassing and let me tell you, Republicans, if you can't win both the House and the Senate and the presidency, you are fucking... Just get out of the business. Just get out of the business. This guy's leaving more holes for you to fill.

Oh, my God. It's crazy. What else in the world uh that's internationally but uh we get enough problems at home don't we um but rich lowry wrote a thing in the post you know saying how obama was bragging in 2012 how he he was a man of his word i said i was gonna to end the war in iraq and i did blah blah blah now he doesn't want to take responsibility it was stabilized in 2011 let's be honest and soon as he pulled everybody out and uh there's arguments about that you know why we took everybody out of their status quo agreement whatever the hell it's called um uh but soon as he pulled everybody out of there i'll i'll i'll break loose again so um the leaders of all the major iraqi parties had privately told american commanders that they

wanted several thousand military personnel to remain in iraq it depends who you want to believe on that but the status of forces agreement you know obama says iraqis wouldn't give it to him and other people say bullshit he didn't want it i don't know who you want to believe on that one but uh you know i mean if you're going to take credit for pulling everybody out there uh you got to take credit now where where it is now and it's a freaking mess what are you going to do and then back home domestically the whole world fell apart while i was gone uh you get the thing in st louis

the thing in st louis by that i mean the shooting of an unarmed black kid by a white cop um and you know of course eric holder jumps right in he's going to send the fbi to investigate because it's a white on black thing you know if it was vice versa he wouldn't give two fucks you know it i know it and um it's just uh it's just crazy man in Ferguson yeah it's in Ferguson Missouri there was a shooting last Saturday night 18 year old black kid Michael Brown who was unarmed and naturally

before you know before we even know the facts and the facts were supposedly this Michael Brown kid was walking down the street with a buddy of his and the cops said you know get out of the middle of the street get on the sidewalk but they continued to walk down the middle of the street so the cops say and then uh the cops uh get out of their car and this you know uh struggle ensues the cop says one of the kids try to keep the cop from

try to you know was trying to keep the cop from getting out of the squad car or whatever and that's not what michael brown's friend says he says they're walking down the street and then cops fight a warning shot and uh well you know we don't know the facts but we do okay just when a cop tells you to fucking do something, do it. Okay? Give me a break. I know you want me to believe. Al Sharpton's jumping into the fray, obviously.

He's already busy with the, you know, the kid in Staten Island, Garner there. That whole mess. But he's going to jump into this now because that's what he does. And, you know, that was Saturday night. Now there's looting and rioting going on. People coming in supposedly from, you know, other areas other than Ferguson and looting,

burning stores. And, you know, let's exploit the death of a young kid and, you know, use it to get sneakers. It's fucking, I mean, it's just like a bad repeater. But if you want me to believe that the cops just go up and randomly hassle people, I'm not fucking buying it. Because I know my buddy Zook. I've been in his cruiser and I've talked to enough cops. Yeah, there are some bad, yeah yeah there are some bad obviously there are some idiots but nowadays with cameras everywhere and with civil rights lawyers everywhere watching

you every move don't tell me they just went up and started hassling people and shot a kid for nothing it has got to be cameras by the way on that cop car and cameras everywhere when that incident went down so we'll get the truth. And just like anything else, you know, if the cop wasn't provoked, then he should hang. But I doubt that's the case because it never really is when we get the full facts.

Dorian Johnson told WALB-TV that the trouble began after he and Brown had left a convenience store, were strolling in the street, an officer told them to get on the sidewalk. When they kept walking in the street, the officer rolled up to the pier, got out of the police car, drew his gun. Okay, I got to believe there's cameras that could show whether this went down or not.

It's not like they're in Vermont where my sister lives. The officer fired, Johnson said, and they took off running see that's where the story in my opinion it might be telling the truth but i'm saying in my opinion that's where it falls apart really the cop just fired at that point kind of hard to believe without you know being threatened so they took off running johnson said this is the kid that was with the kid that got shot he shot again and once my friend felt that shot, he turned around and put his hands in the air and started to get down.

Wouldn't you get down after the first shot? That's the thing that I'm saying. Once he felt the second shot, that's when he obeyed the cops. That's what I'm saying. You can't... We wasn't causing harm to nobody, Johnson added. We had no weapons on us at all. Cops have told a different story,

saying one of the men pushed the officer back into his squad car before the struggle began. Well, again, we got to have cameras to find this out. But already Sharpton, you know, he's flying into Missouri today to, you know, stoke the fires. They had to, like, shut down a mall, a St. Louis mall yesterday. But people are, you know, smashing convenience store windows, stealing shit. Why would you want to be a cop, man?

God bless him, you know. But like I said, I think there's going to be cameras everywhere that's going to show what really went down. I just don't believe cops shoot at kids walking down the street. I just don't believe it. But, you know, I'm sure we'll get an unbiased investigation from Eric Holder, right? Unbelievable. He lives for shit like this.

And again, it all starts with a breakdown of the family. I mean, you know, you learn when an authority figure tells you to do something as a kid to do it. But when you don't have a dad

or a mom or whatever, you know what I mean? That's all been documented. You know i mean then you get you know so sharpton said you know he's in missouri today meanwhile you know he's drumming up more hatred here in the city and de blasio our stupid mayor is finally regretting inviting sharpton to that conference last week with the Commissioner Bratton and stuff. So, you know, the Eric Garner kid, the heavyset black kid in Staten Island who, you know, instead of just going peacefully,

ended up getting tackled by a cop and, you know, alleged chokehold. But Sharpton wanted to march over the Verrazano Bridge, which connects Staten island and brooklyn and uh it's so funny this is where the white cowardice comes in as far as white politicians what cowards they are uh reverend announced that he was going to lead a mass protest across the verrazano bridge first one lawmaker urged governor cuomo to order the mta not to grant a permit for the march and then the governor quickly tossed the ball to the mayor that's de blasio who promptly lateraled it off to police commissioner bill bratton

this is from tom ripetto in the post he in turn punted it back to the mta folks who counted by saying if the city decided to allow the march that issued the necessary permits the whole pack of officials acted as if someone had tossed a live bomb in their laps not one had the courage balls to say sorry the bridge is the main link between staten island and brooklyn if some disaster would occur on the island emergency vehicles couldn't get across so we're not granting you the permit that's what this guy says it wrote the article which is a valid point but it just shows the cowardice of the uh you know white politicians especially here in the northeast that fucking coward to guys like l shopton

well-known guy who you know it's literally a racist for a living so the article goes on blah blah blah talking about uh how uh and this is from the police commissioner bratton telling us the nypd is also seeing a dramatic increase in the number of people resisting arrest who would have guessed it's just like when dinkins was the mayor just like it deasio's going back into the 90s. Who would have guessed? I mean, how the fuck can you vote for a guy like this? Or anybody who thinks like him? So we have two, you know, I mean, it's amazing.

The great unifier, Obama. The world is, you know, falling apart. And racial tensions have never been worse in our country. And this guy was supposed to bring us together. I'm not pinning it all on him, but I'm just saying. Eric Holder, he's, to me, oof. That guy. What else is going on, man?

Sports news. Kind of sports if you consider car racing a sport. I don't know. I guess it is. I don't know. I don't really think it is, but... The whole thing with Tony Stewart over the weekend. Guess he was doing that midget car racing stuff.

And at some track, upstate New York, he cuts a kid off, this kid Kevin Ward Jr., I guess, a young kid, like 20 years old. Tony Stewart kind of

bumped him into the guardrails. That kid gets pissed, gets out of his car, and this is nighttime on a track with horrendous lighting and this kid in my opinion was probably trying to make a name for himself because if he's seen pointing at tony stewart who's the bad boy of nascar by the way he's been known to fight and drive like a maniac and and and very confrontational and i gotta believe this kid know if he was seen on sports center pointing and

starting shit with that he would make a name for himself that's again that's just speculation on my part but he gets out of his car and starts walking down the dirt track right in the middle of the race while cars are whizzing by and um most of them managed to miss him except tony stewart tony stewart comes by the guy that started altercation, and the back end of his car clips this guy and kills him. And, uh, holy Christ. It's, so everybody's blaming, you know, Tony Stewart because of his, uh, because his reputation precedes him. Um.

But then, Colin Coward, who's a, you know, radio slash TV guy for ESPN, he's very good at radio. I've heard the guy, but he comes out yesterday

and blames what he describes as NASCAR's southern eye for an eye culture for the death of this young driver, Kevin Ward. He blames the southern eye for an eye culture. He said he watched the video seven, eight times and he says Tony Stewart rubbed up other races, put on the brakes. During his opening monologue and his follow-up discussion with NASCAR analyst, Marty Smith, coward, cowherd, I should say, criticized the sport for failing to ban running on the track and other dangerous displays of bravado long ago and suggested a number of times that three-time champion Tony Stewart

could have avoided hitting Ward. Cowherd began the segment by citing NASCAR's embrace of dangerous displays of masculinity and settling the score, saying that, like the NFL, NHL, box and deliberately allowed those elements to draw in a larger male audience so what are we supposed to do make everything everything what safe for chick viewing and little kids first of all imagine condemning a whole culture would he ever say that would he ever come out and go well, let's blame the inner city black culture for all the end zone dances and players bringing guns to practice and into the lock. Let's blame that on the inner city black culture.

He's condemning a whole southern white culture. And now he'll get praised for, you know, pushing the envelope. Let me tell you, if it airs on ESPN, which is owned by Disney, which which to me they are the ones they are the politically correct machine if if they allowed this stuff to go on the air it's pc all of the sports in america nfl nascar box and there's a lot of machismo involved in the sports is a fine line they don't want to excuse me they want to sell it to guys but they have to have rules but nascar failed to set a rule against running on the track maybe they didn't think it was even necessary to pull a rule like in like that because it's so common sense uh being aggressive has

always been at the heart of nascar and every other pro sport you dink bravado is an ang is anger is the sports culture speed is macho is tempers are. That's just unfair. I don't blame the South for going, shut up. How do you blame that on a Southern culture? That really is bullshit. You know, I suppose. And people, like I said, they'll think that is edgy.

Ooh, he's an edgy radio guy pushing the racial envelope. Eye for an eye culture. It's in the Bible for Christ's sake. Not too many people in the Bible

with southern accents last time I checked. It's in the fucking Bible. I don't understand what he's talking about. And yes, ESPN tries to market to male, you know, young males. Yeah, that's who watches it. Can we have, I almost threw myself into the young male category.

Can males have something to ourselves? It's SportsCenter. It's all we got now is the news and SportsCenter. If you watch TV, the rest of TV from like 6 a.m. till 7 p.m., it is so not for guys. It's for soccer moms and maybe some gay fellas and women. That's all TVs turn into. At nighttime, we get a little sports and some news. That's all we have.

Holy shit. You ever watch Good Morning America? It's all about, ooh. It's all, every story is about, you know, companies should provide a place for women to breastfeed, and next up, a tuna salad recipe from Mario Lopez. It's fucking horrendous. I mean, everything.

You put on shows in the afternoon. I see this, folks. I work nights. You flip through the channels, every show, you know, those those those crime shows, those whodunits. It's always, you know, it's always a husband who, you know, killed his wife. It's just anti-male shit around the clock. Just nothing for men during the day. But I don't understand. Yeah, that's, can we have sports?

And I don't know, you know, and there's plenty of stuff for women on ESPN. If you like girls softball, the finals, college softball. I smell octopus. I'm cooking octopus as I talk to you folks. Me and my wife have octopus like twice a week. I'm like Tony Montana. Did you ever eat octopus eight times a day?

I got a fucking octopus coming out of my ear. Love it. Did I bring it up on the last podcast? I can't remember. I have no memory. And when I sleep four hours a night, it's even worse. I have no memory. And when I sleep four hours a night, it's even worse.

Had octopus in Italy. Went there with my wife and my family, all relatives, five or six years ago. Had lunch in Florence. God, I hope I'm not repeating this story. Excuse me. But I had lunch in Florence and had this octopus dish. It came in like a aluminum foil pouch that you open up, and everything is steamed in there.

Octopus, Kalamata olives, cherry tomatoes, potatoes, red onion. Just tremendous. Just delicious. And I asked the asked the guy octopus you can buy it frozen it comes in like a wheel like a frozen wheel like a wheel that you know would be on a small jeep and you just uh you just defrost it and then simmer it in boiling water if you go on my uh twitter there's a picture on there of me holding an octopus up i make a joke about cleaning the sink at planned parenthood because that's what it looks like and uh anyways it's real easy to cook you simmer it for like an hour like a two to three pound octopus and let it sit in that hot water for another hour and then just cut it up it's all

clean for you i know it looks scary Some of you squeamish people might not like it, but it's delicious. It's not chewy like calamari. It actually has a nice taste. You can eat it till the cows come home, not put on a pound. You chop that up and then you make like a little envelope out of aluminum. I'm giving you an oct... What a show this has been, folks. We start with Robin Williams. We have racial tensions. We have Tony Stewart. People accusing him running over this poor bastard, which I don't think he did. And you get octopus recipes. Where the fuck else are you going to find a show like this? But that's what I'm having tonight. Again, never get sick of it. It's frigging delicious. Maybe I'll have you up to the house,

Maybe I'll have you up to the house. The whole listening public. Yeah, so I'm simmering that right now as we speak. What else, kids? I'm so disorganized, man. I really can't focus. Sharpton. This face makes me angry um

oh yeah how about golf in sports news Rory McIlroy wins the what did he win PGA whatever the frick McElroy wins the... What did he win? PGA, whatever the frick.

One of the four majors. His second, what, his second major in a month. He won the British Open this year. Then he won Bridgestone last week. Then he wins this week. Guy's on fire. Tiger doesn't even make the cut. It's so funny when you look at Rory McIlroy get rid of his wife or fiance or whatever like a month ago.

And he's been on fire ever since. Just the opposite effect that it had on Tiger. Yeah. They were in Louisville, Valhalla and it was crazy my boy phil mickelson who i love was playing lights out for the last round was sneaking up on me was getting dark and a little controversy at the end they played you know they had to move everything up because it was getting too dark instead of letting the guys play out in order it would have got too dark so they did it like a foursome at the end. You let them play through or whatever. I'm not a golfer,

but a little bit of controversy. People saying it might not have ended that way if they did it differently. But the bottom line is Rory McIlroy wins by a stroke again. This kid is on. You know what's funny about Rory McIlroy? If you look at him in the face,

he looks like that kid in Caddyshack. Remember the one that was banging the judge's wife? You know, the kid who wins the tournament at the end? I don't even know the lead character's name. He looks like that kid in the face a lot, which is kind of ironic. But what a tournament it was. Crazy.

And Tiger doesn't even make the cut. He's just a no. He's not even average. I'm telling you, my juice theory holds. But McElroy, what's that like, huh? I don't know, you make, you know, you make millions just, you probably made a mil, I don't even know what the purse was there. But, you know, then all the, you know, puts on a Titleist hat or whatever. That's where all the dough comes in, the sponsorships. He's the new, and you know, then all the, you know, puts on a Titleist hat or whatever. That's where all the dough comes in, the sponsorships. He's the new.

And you know what? Here's the thing. There was a story in the paper. The ratings were great, which is good news for golf because for the last 10 years, they've been relying on Tiger to draw, you know, eyes to the television set. And this is like the first time they get great numbers. McElroy's sort of taken over that. Which is, it just amazes me.

What a life that would be, huh? It's not football. You don't have to, you know, you won't be in a diaper by the time you're 40. You have your knees blown out. You're doing, you're playing a sport that, you know, millionaires and billionaires do when they retire. Most people retire. And you're the best in the world at it.

Think the kid's getting much ass lately? Mink you. Yeah, McElroy. He's on top of the golf world. I just, I copped out. I should have tried golf. my brother tried to talk me into it when i was younger but then he said you know what you better not because he knows that i have no patience fucking crazy you know what discouraged me from playing it too when you put it on and you see guys like tiger and ernie l's the best in the world or mickelson and you see them slicing it

into the woods and you're like okay these guys have come the closest to mastering, you know, this sport. And even they can really look like a retarded four-year-old girl on some days. So, no, I don't think I want to. I suck at enough things. But now when I watch it and my brother plays it, he plays it, my brother-in-law plays it, they all play it. I kind of feel like I copped out. Because, you know, I was a decent athlete. I have the shoulders of a 90-year-old Jewish woman.

But that's because of surgery. Red Sox, P, fucking you. They better be loading up next year. They better have a good year. I stay up to watch them against the Angels a couple nights ago, and Clay Buchholz, all of a sudden he looks good again. The Angels are a killer lineup, and he's pitching all the way into the eighth inning.

He's got a 3-2 lead and i see him come out to come out for the eighth i'm like what's john farrell thinking but then you know he he had used the the setup guy in the close of the night before but also they're gonna see if book calls can get through the eighth sure enough who comes up captain america mike trout takes him deep ties it up three 3-3. And this is how, you know, the warm-up has changed for me. I shut the TV off on a 3-3 game going into the ninth inning because I didn't sleep the night before, and I'm like, I'm not going to do this again to myself.

So I shut the TV off. But, you know, I wouldn't have done that last year. The game would have meant something. But I shut it off. Next day, I checked to see what happened. They went 19 innings, the Sox, and I think it was 19 innings. The Sox and Angels, and the Sox lose in the 19th. That's the type of year it's been.

Mother of God. And I don't think Cespedes, our big acquisition for John Lester, has hit a home run yet. He might have had one Sunday night or whatever, but I don't know. But I don't think he's hit a home run yet. He might have had one Sunday night or whatever, but I don't know. But I don't think he's hit a home run yet. He's got a lot of hits, though. I mean, he's doing the job.

But they're going to have to get some big names over the offseason. That's all I'm saying. They have to get some big names because the rookies aren't pulling their weight. And the Yankees suck. Thank God for that. Baltimore slapped them around.

I think Girardi should get manager of the year. With all the injuries, I've never seen a team more decimated and they're still in it. And people are calling for Girardi's head, New York. You New York fans are crazy, honest to God. They shouldn't even, they should be below the Sox.

But same thing with the Cashman. I think he catches a lot of shit, but I think he makes the right moves most of the time. I want to see what the Sox new GM, who took over for Epstein and won the World Series his first year, I want to see what he's made of next year. Better have a bounce back year. They're depending on all these young prospects. But I haven't been too impressed with the ones that they brought up. Bogarts is finally starting to hit like Bogarts.

But his fielding is nothing special, I'll tell you that much. I want Tulewitzki. So does the whole world from Colorado. I want him at short. I know Bogarts hates third, but I want Tulewitzki because he's the best offensive shortstop in the history of the league. We got to get somebody like that. Otherwise, I'm boycotting. I'll be on the goddamn bridge marching with Sharpton if we don't do...

Yeah, right. That's about it, I guess. I don't want to force any horse shit on your throat. You don't want to hear. TV viewing. Oh, you know what I watched recently that was so goddamn good? If you like Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers,

I meant to mention this last week. I absolutely love them, okay? I almost burnt myself out on tom petty but uh it's one of the first albums i had as a kid you're gonna get it and there's it right now on uh it's on direct tv right now but i'm sure it'll be available everywhere um there's a documentary about tom petty and the heartbreak is done by peter bogdanovich. Famous movie director. It's four hours long. And. I DVR'd it.

And the other night. You know. I'm like. I'll watch a little of this. It's like 1.30 in the morning. I'm like. You know. I'm not going to sleep.

I might as well. Watch a few minutes of this. Cut to me. It's like quarter of four. It was so good. It was so frigging good. Again. If you like Tom Petty and the heartbreakers it's uh oh it's it's four hours just watching an hour and a half hour to clip or whatever

I mean it's called running down a dream actually and the footage is unbelievable. I mean, footage of him when he's three years old. It was a beautiful day. Sun beat down. And what a machine this guy is. It covers everything from, you know, him from three to the, you know, traveling Wilburys to the, you know, he's got an album out now, Hypnotic Eye, but everything in between.

And he's as cool as you thought he was. It's called Running Down a Dream, I don't know if I mentioned it. down a dream i don't know if i mentioned his father was like real abusive and he was just a laid-back little kid and he was real close to his mom she died when he was pretty young but they show him at like age 19 they show him and his band members the day they decided we're going to la and become famous they show, like, throwing shit into a moving truck. And they had this little place they called The Farm where they used to rehearse in Gainesville. That's where he's from, Gainesville. And they showed him, like, building a makeshift stage.

You actually see Tom Petty, like, with a hammer in his hand at age 20 helping build the stage and shit. And it goes through how he met the band members and how him and the drummer were real close and they didn't get along and you find that what scumbags i thought comedy industry was bad the scumbags that run the music industry probably the same people just try to fuck him out of his publishing rights and take him to court they thought he'd back down but he wouldn't he just said fuck you i'm taking you to court and just wouldn't back down he's like a just unbelievably talented musically, obviously, but like but like streetwise guy. And he at one point he's in court with the record company people and he takes out like a knife and starts cleaning his nails to let them know he's a little crazy. And he ended up winning. They were going to they were gonna they were

trying to steal his publishing right from they had taken him and he stood up to him and uh at another time well that's what the damn the torpedoes the name of that album that's where it comes from all the idiots coming after him and trying to rip him off and then his house burned down and like i said his mom died that he was real close to and uh but he was just like street savvy you know when people on hey he kept the band together for 30 something years you don't see that but but absolutely if you like tom petty watch it absolutely uh one of the best documentaries. It was like reading a good book. And at one point, the record company wanted him to do, you know, greatest hits albums.

And he didn't want to do it, but he was contractually obligated to do it. And they said, we want you to write a single to throw on the greatest hits album. And he goes, how is it a greatest hit if I haven't even wrote it yet? Right? So what's he do? He comes up with Last Dance from Mary Jane. That's the single he just pulled out of his ass to throw on the album. That sold 10 million records itself.

I mean, they don't miss anything. They show his personal life. They show the band and just how good he was at keeping it together and just how scary good a musician he is. And you actually see footage of, you know, the Travelling Wilburys, them like rehearsing in a living room coming up with a song. You see Roy Orbison. I mean, just, I'm telling you, it's called Running Down a Dream.

Like I said, right now it's on DirecTV, my old company. Can't believe I'm giving them a plug here. But, yeah, if you like Tom Petty, catch that. All right, kids? That's about it here. Good to talk to you again. And thanks for listening because, like I said, we're adding, this podcast is growing every time the numbers come out.

It's getting a little bigger here, a little bigger there. And I appreciate that. Quick plugs, Atlanta, the improv coming up in about 10 days or so, 21, 22, and 23 of August. And then I'm at the Armory in Rochester. I want to say the 29th. Let me open my book. I don't want to mislead you people.

But, yeah, come out and see me live. I'm like a musician. I'm much better live. Yeah, the 29th, Main Street Armory in Rochester. And then I'm doing something from WPLR, Chaz and AJ, my buddies there in Connecticut. I don't have the venue yet. So that's on the 20th of September. And then Zany's in Chicago.

Downtown Chicago on the 25th. And then Rosemont on the 26th and 27th. Love those people out there. Some of the best crowds, comedy crowds. You guys have been absolutely terrific. And Nick Di dipalo signing off wash your ears clean your asses talk to you soon good night until we meet again adios guitar solo guitar solo I'm I'm I'm

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