The Nick DiPaolo Show - 061 - Are You Pukes Happy Now?

Episode Date: December 23, 2014

Are You Pukes Happy Now?

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Hey kids, what's up? What's going on? A lot's going on since I talked to you last. Let me get the annoying plugs out of the way first. If I can find them. Mother of Christ. You know, the DVD. Go to nickdip.com click on the pre-order button it's actually selling pretty well it hasn't gone on sale yet but the pre-orders are stacking up nicely and i thank you uh for ordering uh you can order the special now and it'll be

available online streaming and mp downloads on January 2nd. As an extra bonus, you also get individual MP3 tracks of the entire special. But that's only if you order before January 2nd. And all of this is just for five bucks, kids, or whatever you want to contribute. One guy out there and his wife contributed. They paid $101 for it. And, you know, again again i don't know the name because it's on twitter but i i thanked him and uh i hope to meet him at a show sometime but that was

unbelievably uh generous and um when you order it you'll get a confirmation email on january 2nd and you'll receive your link and you can send this to anyone with an email address as a Christmas gift, too. Just click on the gift button at nickdip.com, and on Christmas morning, they'll receive an email telling them that you bought it for them. And who knows where that could lead, right, kids? You know, it is the giving time of year. And then they can download a stream on January 2nd. time of year and then they can uh download a stream on january 2nd also i think the album the mp3 version is uh available for pre-order on itunes right now too that just happened i think yesterday so uh go get another senseless killing and uh i know it's kind of weird that it's named

that with all this shit going on just crazy crazy, man, isn't it? It's like the 70s and the 60s, all the worst times as far as race relations. And every time I watch news, I just hear this in the back of my head. Isn't it crazy? But you got de Blasio and, ugh. Something happening here. All these Marxist fucks protesters

You happy now? You happy you got two dead cops? Huh? Two cops whose lives matter more than any of the scum that were protesting In my opinion Cause they go out and they risk their lives every day But you have time to go out and you know block the fucking malls and streets because uh you don't have jobs you have nothing else to do two innocent

guys assassinated two cops give me a fucking break yeah battle lines being drawn. Thanks to de Blasio, Sharpton, all the players, Eric Holder. Let's, since they named names, you know, two cops got beat up on the Brooklyn Bridge last week. So they were looking for, I don't know, six or seven suspects. And they got a few more this weekend. Let's name names since these scumbags, you know, wanted to be famous. So let's make them famous. We have Columbia University grad student Cindy Gorn, 29-year-old. She was suspect, female suspect number two.

She walked into the Manhattan's Fifth Precinct house with her lawyer this weekend. Also, we have, who else? These are some of the players, okay, that were involved when the cops got beat up. This isn't even the shooting I'm talking about. This is last week. Baruch College professor Erica Linsker. We already mentioned him.

He's the one that was trying to throw the garbage can on top of the cops from a bridge uh zachary campbell a rutgers university grad student should be proud rutgers and the spanish instructor i'm sure that came in handy um turned himself in at the fifth precinct station house uh this weekend and then uh zach campbell's a strange wife marcia uh garcia 36 she was suspect female suspect number one she was a arraigned saturday morning manhattan criminal court on charges of resisting arrest and obstruction of governmental administration and rioting and blah blah blah and uh then a couple weeks ago he had rob murray male suspect three he turned himself in remember he worked for the

seiu that labor union that um that a few of the higher-ups are actually now working in the uh in the de blasio administration a few of the people that were service employee international union members. Yeah. And so it's all August Ritter. It's all the same scum. And they're looking for a couple more suspects. But congratulations, you got what you wanted, right? And don't try to deny it's not what you didn't want.

You got what you wanted. You got what you wanted. You got two what you wanted you got what you wanted you got two dead cops on you and you happy now does everything equal really yeah and here here's the chance if anybody wants to deny that that's not what they didn't want i don't want to hear the shit oh it's just a handful of protesters that were doing this yeah right sounds like a handful well you got it. Hope you sleep well, cocksuckers. Yeah. There's ways of protesting.

Those weren't peaceful, by the way. But there's ways of doing it peacefully, you know. Other than blocking bridges and streets and shit. And, you know, ganging up on two cops. But I'm sure, you know. I don't know. I'm starting to see, see, our system only works

when people act responsibly and, you know. But we're past that. A couple generations past it now. Just self-entitled douchebags. Maybe we should have, you know, again, I say you break out the rubber bullets.

We don't want to be China yet, but I'm starting to see China's point on how they handle shit like this. Because it seems that all this is all these douchebags understand. We get two dead cops and yeah, the blood's directly on their hands. And Mayor de Blasio, I'll get to him in a few seconds. But at least rubber bullets, you know, and when they started chanting dead, you know, what do we want, dead cops, yeah, I know we have the First Amendment, but somebody could have spoke up, don't you think, somebody could have spoke up and said, you know, said something, just that you took notice, and yeah, I'm all for rubber bullets.

I'm not just talking a few either. They really hurt, especially, you know, these chicks. Yeah, you can't let people lay down and block malls and stores and shit with no repercussions. It's only going to get worse, and it is only getting worse, you know. But what if the cops are seen actually pushing somebody down or you know tackling somebody because of their ass fucker mayor who doesn't back them then they're in deep shit and now they're certainly not going to do anything why would you risk your i mean you know you can go after cops now personally de blasio that's one of the first thing he passed when he got into office you can go after him personally and you know take their house and every any assets they have if they're caught uh

you know committing police brutality quote unquote so uh yeah you set it up nice de blasio you really did a beautiful job what a dick. I mean, what a dick. And you go, wow, why are you so anti-DeBlasio? You can't, you can't, there's no way you can't blame this guy for a lot of this shit. Remember he came out talking about

he had to sit his biracial son down and teach him that you should behave and do everything a cop asks you to do because, you know, they're out to get you because you're a young black male. Remember that? And then last week after the cops were attacked on the bridge, he referred to it as an alleged incident. When it was actually already on tape and you could see it,

it was actually, maybe that was for legal purposes, but you're the mayor, you're supposed to be behind the cops. It allegedly, there was an alleged attack on cops after we all watched it. What a dick cheese. And then the best part of the weekend was after the two cops were murdered in cold blood when de Blasio went to the hospital and there were hundreds of cops in the corridor and they turned their backs on him when he came in. That was actually refreshing.

And you know what? He comes out today, I think it was, and he pisses on them for doing that. He can't even let that go. That's why he's like a fucking child. And by the way, how's your 10-foot fence that you erected? Is that working out well? Because you're going to need it.

If you're a cop and you're supposed to guard this guy, would you? I'd be caught napping. I'd be like, yeah, I'll pick your kids up, show up an hour late, the way he does to events. What a Marxist. He's just a Marxist douche. That's all he is. And he really has aspirations, people say, to run for president.

Because, you know, people watch for president, because, you know, people watch New York City, and, you know, they watch how it's run, and I gotta believe his aspirations are over now, unless the whole country really is, you know, this far left, but everybody they're all to blame every protester out there uh everybody holder with this anti-cop rhetoric and we have to retrain crops and yeah retain retrain cops that's that's the problem yeah when you take a look into your own community get your shit together see the statistics just don't don't play out this is all predicated on bullshit these protests and shit just total bullshit because uh what it's based on it's all anti-cop and it's all the premise is that they're treating

young black males unfairly and that might happen every once in a while, but there's 47 million black people in the country. And I think they said last year there were 126 shootings with cops and blacks. I mean, when you do the math, and they don't want to hear this. When you bring this shit up, they just call you racist or whatever.

They just throw the facts to the side. It's just hilarious. It breaks down to like.0001%, one one-hundredth of one percent. And what happens is, you idiots out there who are played by them, see, the media, they like to, obviously, they like to sell newspapers and whatever, get ratings on TV, and they lean left, most of them. They cherry-pick stories, whether it's Trayon martin or uh or the staten island thing or whatever they cherry pick them do you think how many cops have died in the

line of duty in the last 10 years you never hear that story that doesn't make the national i remember a few years ago i was in philadelphia that was the headlines in a paper six cops had already been killed by like by like may or june of uh it's like four or five years ago you can look it up but that those aren't national stories but when they cherry pick stories you know and and blow them up it creates this illusion that it's a one-sided thing it's really dangerous it's been going on forever And it doesn't surprise me what happened to these cops. Because you have idiots out there who, they just, I don't know,

the media is their Bible or whatever. If it's on TV, it's true. The media is as culpable as anybody. They have as much blood on their hands. They cherry pick stories over the last, I don't know how many years, and it creates an illusion that cops cops are racist and you're gonna sit here and tell me that what by the way i didn't even want to talk about this shit i was so happy

after i was done with the last podcast and this shit went down i'm like jesus christ can i have some fun here but you're gonna convince me you're gonna convince me that a white guy who becomes a cop and spends his nights in in projects and on the most dangerous streets in the country to protect black people, by the way, from each other. You're going to tell me he's, they're racist. I'm not saying there aren't racists. Of course there are racist cops of all colors. Okay. But this notion that, that, you know, there's a bunch of white racist cops all over the country.

That's just total horse shit. You can protest and scream all you fucking want anybody who has a half a brain knows that's bullshit but again the media creates that illusion just cherry-pick the stories and these stories when something happens to a young black kid they last for months as opposed to these two cops this is the most publicity cop fallen cops will get because it's right in the middle of this you know of this uh the turmoil new york city's going through and it's because it's a you know largest city in the country it'll get uh plenty of play but uh cops die every day in the land to put the put their necks on the line and i thought we cleared all this up with mark furman remember the oj case when he actually oprah actually had him on oprah had

him on because furman had come out and and said he you know he spent his life in black communities protecting black people and and uh you know even oprah took notice and had him on the show and he kind of he reformed uh his reputation that was you know damaged which shouldn't have been in the first place because i think he said the n-word over the radio or something but a lot of people sat up and took notice when that's the first time anybody had heard that yeah that's true he's a white cop but he spends his life you know in black neighborhoods so um you know i thought we got rid of that notion so but you know guys like sharpton and de blasio and and college professors and douchebags are

out there but they'll never understand they're too stupid too they're too dumb the statistics just don't bear out of course you go into them i mean well young black kids and black males being targeted well if you're in a projects policing the projects right of course if there's 20 drug dealers standing behind a building or under a staircase yeah the cops are going to start uh you know profiling or asking questions yeah the only solution i guess is to uh you know don't let if you're a white cop why would you you know you don't have a choice i guess you get assigned to those places but uh we should have a discussion on national level no more white cops in in black neighborhoods only black cops not even asian ones not even hispanic just black cops what they're on they're on enough oh wow what are

you going to do now that's the other thing these cops that you know these cops here in new york see two of their comrades get slaughtered sitting in their cars and in bed stye and but you know what they're still going to have to answer when you call and you this goes for you protested douchebags if somebody breaks into your house tonight or somebody holds a knife to your throat in the subway who's gonna protect you? The same people

you're railing against. Oh you fucking make me sick. It is. It's like the 60s and the 70s isn't it? But you know who's at the heart of it

other than the friggin mayor. How about him coming out? We're all in this together. Oh my God. It was like listening to, I don't know. It was like listening to Kirstie Alley talk about low-fat candy bars

and how delicious. It just, it rang so hollow. He couldn't even look up the Blasio while he was talking about it. You know, we're all in this together. And the fucking cops' response was,

no, we're not. They had a petition. I told you this on the last they created a petition i told you this in the last podcast the nypd cops they wanted all the cops to sign i think the union cops started it um that uh if they got killed in a line of duty that they didn't want de Blasio at their funeral or any of his creep underlings. Can you imagine? That was like last week and now it's actually more relevant. I don't even know if these cops, the two poor guys that get killed,

had signed it or not. I hope so. Ugh. But, yeah. You never hear the other side it's always but the only time you hear it and it's it's all now you know it's all right to to to um stand up with the police that's the only time it's all right without getting in public i mean mean, like public figures, like you had Coach Coughlin, the Giants head coach, had a black, you know, stripe on his shoulder. You know, in memory of the two cops that slain him. He wore it on the sidelines Sunday.

And it's the only time you can do something like that without catching flack. And I'm just wondering, did LeBron or anybody? I know Mangold for the Jets, their center, had a NYPD cap on. And Coughlin. I don't know of any other, and I might be missing some, but I don't know. Is LeBron and those guys, the five St. Louis Rams, are those pukes going to come out? Did they come out this weekend? Did any young black athletes defend the Cubs?ven a smith defended them beautifully and eloquently um so i don't know maybe they did maybe they didn't and i'm

just not but all i know of is man goal of the jets and and conflin but that's it's the only time anybody can take a stance like that and and nobody will say boo you know so uh yeah james woods i guess tweeted uh he went nuts on twitter you know blaming sharpton and uh and he's absolutely right you gotta love james woods he's absolutely right. You've got to love James Woods. He's right out there. Right out there. But let's listen to the head of the PBA, the Police Benevolent Association, Pat Lynch. He's head of the union of the cops. And this is what he had to say after the killings of the two cops. There's blood on many hands tonight.

cops. There's blood on many hands tonight. Those that incited violence on the street under the guise of protest that tried to tear down what New York City police officers did every day. Sounds like a candidate. We tried to warn it must not go on. It cannot be tolerated. It must not go on. It cannot be tolerated. That blood on the hands starts on the steps of City Hall in the office of the mayor. Starting today, we started the morning for our brother police officers. They're heroes. They're fathers. They're brothers. They're children. Yeah, you hear that? You're protesting scum. That's the men we lost today.

So starting in the next couple of hours and going for a number of days, New York City police officers, through their sadness, will straighten their shoulders, stiffen their backs, and mourn for these families. We'll mourn for our city, and we'll mourn for our brothers. When these funerals are over, those responsible will be called on the carpet and held accountable just like dogs that shit on the rug that was the best part to be held accountable let's see if it actually happens uh you know he's talking about well he the mayor. He's definitely talking about Sharpton. And Holder with all his, you know, rhetoric.

Oh, the police department, hundreds of years of history of prejudice. But Sharpton, this motherfucker. Every time I see him, I don't know who makes me sicker now, de Blasio or Sharpton, because like I said, Sharpton, you know what you're getting. He doesn't pretend to be anything other than he, well, actually he does. But I just see him and I just, I grit my teeth. Girl, I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. Somebody try that. Inenson hearst years ago

for you people who don't have a history in new york uh and the racial goings-on of the last 30 years he marched through benson hearst and i don't know the 90s or whatever after the yousef thing and uh somebody stabbed him with a five-inch kitchen knife, which probably would have been fatal today, but back then he had literally 11 inches of fat to protect him, like a bulletproof vest made of bacon, this fat fuck. But today it might, you know, and I'm not encouraging that. I'm just saying he's so skinny today. It's the one thing I do admire about him.

This guy, I don't know how he... He has to have his stomach stapled to some shit. His head's three times bigger than his body now. It's very weird. But he's just an agitating scumbag. Let's listen to some of his earlier work, if I can find it. David Dinkins! Yes!

You want to be the only nigga on television! This is him rail against David Dinkins, who was a black mayor in New York City at the end of the 80s and early 90s. This is him railing against Dinkins. The only nigga can talk. Don't cover them. Don't talk to them. Because you got the only nigga proper. Because you know if a black man stood up next to you, they would see you for the whore that you really are. We the best chicken fries in the universe.

But we don't go buy some Colonel Sanders chicken. Then the chairman come in and throw some hotcakes in the tub and dip it down and you stand by and buy that? Korea, sell us watermelon. We need watermelon all night long. And they're going to come cut it up, put it in a bucket with a rubber band around it. And we're going to buy it like it's something we didn't know what it was. White in the low-priced, I said I was wrong.

Cracker, though I think Cracker is a certain personification of a certain type of person down south. Just like Redneck. I mean, you know, some people misinterpret Cracker meaning all I think crackers a certain personification of a certain type of person down south just like redneck I mean, you know some people misinterpret cracker meaning all whites is not true, but the confusion means you shouldn't use it I mean sometimes being flippant you say things you shouldn't say because it gets in the way of your message and people don't really Understand what you're saying They built empires. We learned to admire them, but they knew to admire us. We built pyramids without a truck. Every new architecture runs. They built pyramids without a truck.

I had that argument with Keith Robinson, and I said, yeah, they were supposed to be square. And you see that on some commercial, by the way. I actually stole my line that I used eight years ago at the table at the comedy cellar. But somebody, I forget, Geico, I don't know who it was, used it. But anyways, that's Al Sharpton. That's the guy that Obama has had to the White House about 50 times in the last couple years. That's one of his confidants. Is that not hilarious?

This racist piece of garbage? Can you friggin' imagine? Can you imagine i want to see if he still has keys to the white house after the two dead cops you know it's it's fucking i i can't believe we're at this point i just can't believe i think it's more sharp than here too. I think this is more recent. I think that hate is an emotion. I would love

to use love. Oh, this was this is 1992. He was on one of those you know not 60 Minutes one of those shows like that.

It was a magazine shows. And this is him admitting that he uses hate. Start that one off. I think that hate is an emotion. I would

love to use love, but if I've got to use hate, I'll deal with my hand calls for it. There you go. So it's alright for him to use go. So it's all right for him to use hate. But I'm glad Obama puts his trust in him.

Ooh. The guy's unbelievable. Everything he gets involved in. The Freddie, again, I mentioned this last week, the Freddie Fashemont thing. That's when Dinkins was mayor up in harlem um you know he incited riots here somebody tried to burn down the store it was like a black landlord he raised somebody's uh um rent in the store so that guy sublet it he raised it to his black tenants whatever and they started protesting and whatever.

And incited riots. Sharpton was up there marching every day. And then some nut burned down the store and six people died. And then you had the Crown Riot. Jesus Christ, the Crown Heights Riot. Have another cup of coffee, Nick. God. God.

When a guy accidentally hit a black kid with his car and riots ensued and the mayor stepped back I think was Dinkins at the time and just you know let him blow off steam he said so they rioted and they ended up stabbing a kid to death and you know Sharpton was right in the middle of that. And he's right in the middle of this. Anytime he gets involved, innocent people die. But let's have him to the White House. Holy shit.

I wonder, well, he still has a show on MSNBC, too. I wonder if that's going to be affected. Not really, because they don't see him as a negative player in this whole mess. And then, what, the Mall of America this weekend. Thousands of protesters just laid down on the floor there. Black lives matter. Yeah, we know they matter. We're not saying they don't.

But black people, you should tell other black people that because you're the one, you're killing each other. It ain't white cops, although again, the media creates this illusion that it is. But, you know,

tell that to your parents who had you and then fucking abandoned you or whatever. Get your shit together. had you and then fucking abandon you or whatever. Get your shit together. Nobody said black lives don't matter. Nobody said that.

We just all want to live our lives. Go to work every day. Make money. We all want the same thing. Let's get on the same page here. Including the cops. They just want to go home safely. What else did It's just, it really is exhausting, isn't it? Let me plug my, let me plug my, let's take a break from all the tension here. Plug my dates in the middle of the show i don't have any other plugs you notice npr radio has more sponsors oh i got a new one well wait a minute

we got the suffolk theater uh well first i'm going, I'll be, I don't know, second week in L.A., I'm going out to L.A. And I'm going to be on Rogan's and Carolla's podcast, maybe a few others. But the 23rd of January, Suffolk Theater. I did this one earlier in the year, and I loved it. It's in Riverhead, New York. And then the Treehouse Sports Haven. Yeah, Treehouse Comedy Club, Sports Haven in New Haven, Connecticut on the 24th of January. Bananas and Hasbro Heights, the 30th and 31st of January. And then a theater, Ram's Head Live,

it's called. It's in Baltimore on the 13th of February. And the comedy works in Albany, and the comedy works in Albany, February 26th through 28th. That's enough for now, kids. Isn't it? Sure it is. We need a little tension breaker, and you know the one I'm talking about. A guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. I guess I'll have to spread my legs now, she says.

Why, he asks. Don't you have a vase? It still cracks me up. It still cracks me up. I was just looking for my reading glasses and they're on my face again the lack of sleep I'm turning into fucking Mr. Magoo over here it's unbelievable holy shit looking for my cell phone it's in my hand for like two minutes yesterday I put a soup on to heat up i go back in and i'm watching the you know go sit back down on the couch to watch the game it's getting to the point i have to put a post-it up all of a sudden i hear coming out of the kitchen and the shit's bubbling over on the stove

fucking i don't know they say i don't have lime they say it came back negative i get something i don't know i'm taking that kava shit i found it in pill form and tea form and it makes me it makes me again a little nuts the next day a little bit cranky i think it doesn't matter what i use if it fucks with that part of my brain that controls sleep it it makes me not not a happy person the next day but that shit is good that kava stuff it's a mellow you don't get a hangover from it it's kind of a mellow buzz and like i said your throat gets a little numb like you're doing a little blow but uh oh yeah i want to before i get and get off this total topic of the marxist ass fucks that run New York City,

Samuel L. Jackson, you're a scumbag, too. Always knew it, could see through your phony fake horseshit. When I see you on Letterman, I can tell him. But he's another one that, you know, he sang a little song on the Internet that went viral about, you know, until we're free or whatever. Some other multi-zillionaire, black zillionaire who hates America because it's been so bad to him. He said he actually said, I went through my I hate Whitey stage.

I don't know if he went to Morehouse or some college. You know, he's a pretty bright guy, but when I hear this, I don't think he's that bright, falling for the illusion. Or he just, you know, all that money never stopped him from hating Whitey. But if he was White, he'd be just another actor, in my opinion. He does anger very good, which is real easy for anybody who can act.

And that includes me. It's a very easy emotion for most of us but he's uh he's another one him and danny glover and uh the other asshole you know uh the singer back in the day i don't remember his name you know they uh they seem to get bitter even when they're successful and rich they get bitter maybe they're bitter because they go even this country that they that i hate so much i don't know it's done so well for me maybe it's a conflict within enough but how about the scumbag who shot the cops ismail brinsley how about him because his life apparently matters too or mattered i don't know when uh he shot his girlfriend on saturday

before he drove up and off friday morning he shot his girlfriend on Saturday before he drove up and off Friday morning he shot his girlfriend in the abdomen whenever and then drove to New York before he executed the cops so um how about him huh doesn't he have the balls to stick around and he takes himself out that was the other sad part of that story. But he went on Twitter. You saw all the rants on Twitter about putting wings on pigs and blah, blah, blah. Just a ball of hate. Good riddance. Time for another tension breaker.

Pride, anger, covetousness. I can never say that. Lust, gluttony, envy, and sloth are collectively known as what? Oh, the Bill of Rights. Oh, what a show, huh? Unbelievable. Oh, what a show, huh? Unbelievable. Hey, did I mention that the DVD and all that's five bucks?

Yeah, I wish we could get past this and have some fun. But this is like the show I like to do. It's got to be socially relevant it's a beauty of this podcast you can do whatever you want with it right now somebody has to defend the cops and saying the sane side of the argument why not me huh um what else we got what a field day for the heat

um oh the uh sony thing another interesting story oh the interview can we make a movie without seth rogan i gotta be honest with you i want to high five kim jong-un so tired of seth rogan jesus christ no offense but i mean really can we make a movie without him or james franco guy's the personality of a snow tire. Who gives a fuck? But that was beautiful, huh? That was a show of courage. What did you expect from Hollywood suits, though? They're the most ball-less people on the face of the planet. Everybody's going, well, this is bad because Hollywood represents freedom of speech in America. It does. They don't allow white characters using N-word on The Sopranos or whatever, or Tony Soprano.

Okay, gangster thug, but he's never said the N-word in the whole series. Oh, yeah, they're all for freedom of speech. You never see like a sitcom dad dressing down his wife because she did something stupid. Oh, yeah, they're all for freedom of speech they're fucking weasels and cowards and did it really surprise you come on but uh the biggest story like people said is really that that was our first uh really cyber war and we lost big that movie's gonna get out anyways they're already talking about you know

releasing it and stuff but what do you want the theaters to do i mean you know with a threat like that i understand the theaters because you know then the blood's on their hands but obama said that they should have called him no you should have spoke up first when you heard that sony was thinking about this you should have called them immediately and said no. I advise you, but that would have taken some balls. But after the fact, he comes out, well, I think they made the wrong decision. Yeah, well, I didn't see you leading once again. Should have called them and said, hey, stupids.

But I was even more pissed because then they they they took down team america too which is if you haven't seen that oh my god it's one of the funniest goddamn things ever but uh because they spoof you know kim jong ill at the time um i think i actually have some audio a couple of clips from Team America. You guys, if you haven't seen, I'm sure you have. I mean, you're comedy fans, you're listening to this. So if you're comedy fans, you haven't seen Team America, you know, from the guys that brought you South Park, Parker and Stone,

or whatever their names are. Yeah, let's... This is Kim Jong-il. Pointer! Han Ching! Taylor! Hans Briggs for the Sotica! Hans Briggs?

Oh, no! Oh, hello! Great to see you again, Hans! Hans Briggs, for the Sotica! Hans Briggs? Oh no! Oh, hello! Great to see you again, Hans! Mr. Eel, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, and your guards won't let me into certain areas. Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been through this a dozen times! I don't have any weapons of mass destruction, okay, Hans? Then let me look around so I can ease the UN's collective mind. Hans, you're breaking my balls here, Hans. You're breaking my balls. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me see your whole palace or else.

Or else what? Or else we will be very, very angry with you. And we will write you a letter telling you how angry we are. Okay, I'll show you, Hans. You ready? Stand ready to your left. See you tomorrow. Good.

There you go, Hodge Bricks! How you like that, you fucking cocksucker? You have any idea how fucking busy I am, Hodge Bricks? Well, fuck you! You want inspection? Well, inspect that, you butt-fucking piece of shit! What, you think I'm just a petty arms dealer? I'm planning the attack!

Congratulations, Team America. You have stopped nothing. That's still relevant now, with Obama making a deal with the Iran and their nukes and them jerking him off. It's all, you know, now it's the kid. It's his son, but it's fucking... Oh, that cracks me up

unbelievable what a mess huh sony holy shit the whole hacking thing it's bad enough they back down like cowards and don't show the movie they actually they're gonna did i hear they're gonna fly like they're gonna drop copies of of it over North Korea, something like that. How do you do that without getting shot down? But anyways, yeah, so it really is just chicken shit. And then how about all the emails, like the emails that, and they are hypocrites too, because the press is releasing those emails that were hacked. Amy Pascal, she's like the co-chair of Sony, whatever. Remember, she was saying stuff about and they were asking her.

She was having a conversation with her coworkers about what movies the president might like. And she said, you know, she brought up 12, 12 Years a Slave and all these black themed movies, which is apparently racist, according to Al Sharpton. I'll get to that. He's back in this story too, by the way. He's like a goddamn Ebola virus spreading. But yeah, so all those emails have been made public. And of course, there's people in Hollywood piss saying the media shouldn't do that. That's fine. Where the fuck were they though, huh?

When Snowden and all his horse shit, huh? They were all for releasing that stuff, huh? To show how fucking rotten America is and our government how corrupt it is. But now the shoe's on the other foot and they don't like it. Just hypocrites. Like I said, zero moral compass.

You don't have one, fucking ghouls. She didn't really say anything that bad either. But of course, I don don't know when you put out such politically correct shit and anti-white movies and tv shows and uh it does make you be a hypocrite i'm glad they caught you in those little things even though they weren't really anything major but it must have been major enough those emails and and tinged with uh racial comments by her because l sharpton she came to new york and met and kissed his feet again to apologize or some uh she met with sharpton and of course he's going to do what he's done his whole life and jesse jackson has

he's he's complaining there's not enough diversity, you know, not enough people of color running Sony. See, it's bittersweet for me on this one because it's probably true. And it's Hollywood is always preaching how, you know, racist and how there's not enough diversity. They're always preaching diversity. They carry that message. But when somebody breaks into the emails

and we shine the light on them we see what hypocrites it probably is 99 white sony executives so it's nice to see him called on it but sharpton's gonna you know he he wants to create a panel that uh you know that is going to guarantee so many people of color you know work in the upper echelon of sony and if not he's going to shake them down just what uh jesse jackson did to toyota and all this it never fucking stops and sharpton after the meeting they come out we have i think audio of sharpton commenting on that you believe this he's got his feet in in in the uh the police shootings and the protests, the national protests, he's at the head of that and he's in the middle of this. Got to admit, the guy, he's tireless, isn't he?

This is him talking after he met with Amy Pascal, the co-chair of Sony. And we're extremely concerned when now we hear a foreign government can maneuver, manipulate, and bully the American corporate structure and the American public. How rich is that? He's really upset because a foreign power can, you know, shut down the freedom of speech and bully

corporate America, which is how he makes his living. Him and Jesse Jack, that's how they make their living, bullying corporate America. Oh, my God. This show is filled with hypocrisy. I got to hear that again. Nah.

He's upset about that That corporations are being Shook down He probably is upset Because it's not him doing the shaking It's a foreign entity Since when is he for freedom of speech? Are you shitting me? Oh lordyy, lordy, lordy.

I'm sorry. It's apropos for the times. Might as well be 1967. Right here on our stage, a great from Hawaii, the Buffalo Springs Cowboy. Something happening here. But what it is ain't exactly here. Hooray for our side, Tom Coughlin. And Mangold.

I guess the Jets had a moment of silence before Rex Ryan's departure. We'll talk about that. Yeah. Mangold's a cool dude, by the way. We had him on the Nick and Artie show. I think it's time we stop. Children, what's that sound? Yeah. Everybody look what's going down. Mangold's a cool dude, by the way. We had him on the Nick and Artie show. Big mother. Oof.

Oof. He got hurt, too. I think he's done. Naturally. That's how the world works. A guy who has an NYPD cap and gets knocked out for the rest of the season. That's how the world works. It's a dark place. As Tony Soprano said to his wife,

everything turns to shit. Let's hear it from Kim. Kim Jong-un. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people interrogating like me? Wop, wop, wop, wop. Why aren't more people Interrogating Like me Yeah So uh Interesting huh Interesting uh

Can't wait to watch the news I get so jacked up On friggin' caffeine that I can't, like, keep my thoughts straight. What the hell else? Oh, my niece. I have a niece, right? I don't know. she's gonna be i mean how old she is now god i want to say 18 or 19 and uh she gets hit by a car this weekend she's in a crosswalk going to dunkin donuts this is in massachusetts like 6 30 in the morning and uh she's in a crosswalk and some lady like in her 60s doesn't see her and hits her and witnesses say she flew at least 15 feet in the air she landed on the windshield and uh this might sound familiar to some of you people who've been listening my podcast since day one because i told you a story about what happened to me when i was 11 or 12 uh i'll refresh that in a second

but she's all right thank god i think she hurt her i don't know her leg or whatever she's all right she's i mean but uh she could have been unbelievable she could have been killed that's crazy yeah yeah because uh i think I was 11. I told the story in one of the earlier podcasts. I was riding a bike. I crossed the street, and then the next thing you know, I woke up in the middle of the street, looked at my bike next to me.

It was in a ball, crushed, and there was ladies leaning over me with veils on. I had been hit by a car from behind, flew up in the air, broke the windshield with my head. The car skidded 160-something feet, and I rolled off the hood onto the street. That coming from my buddy Kevin Gaffney, who saw the whole thing out his window, and a bunch of people that were at a wedding across the street of the church who had witnessed it. They were the ladies with veils. Picture that.

I come to life, and I'm looking at these women staring the ladies with veils. Picture that. I come to life and I'm looking at these women staring at me with veils on. I don't know what the hell happened. But I was in the hospital for a week. But my niece, it sounds like the same thing almost. Only she didn't smash her head or whatever. I attribute a lot of my mental problems to that. But my niece, Melissa, God blessissa god bless you honey christ what a dark

time i blame it on sharpton no just kidding um if that was you know his niece he'd blame it on somebody white um yeah how fucking freakish is that? We had... Also, what was the other big story other than Sony? Which you'll see that movie, by the way. Don't get too... I think you will. What's the other? Oh, Cuba.

Semi-big. President Obama normalized relations with Cuba, whatever that means. I guess now we can come and go and get free cigars and whatever. And I understand what he says. Relationships hasn't gotten better in 50 years, so you try something different. But why is it so important that we even have a relationship with those douchebags? That's my question.

And if I'm a Cuban exile who snuck out of there, you know, and came to this country, I would be furious with Obama. You can't blame them. They have relatives over there in jail who have been murdered by the government. So you can't blame them for being pissed. So we're going to try something different.

But Castro already came out and said it's not going to be communist. And people are saying, well, wherever, you know, wherever capitalism goes, it brightens the world for those people. But, OK, it helps their economy like China, you know. economy like china you know but the problem is those regimes you know it they keep the majority of the money like like cuba i guess the whole economy is owned by some company that's owned by guys in the military the cuban military so they're the ones who are going to reap all the benefits from normalized relations. Sounds like something you'd hear on a college campus. Did he rape you? No, it was just normalized relations. You know what I mean? So they're going to be the benefit, the scumbag communists who run

the place. I'm sure de Blasio will be happy. By the way, you know, he went to Cuba on his honeymoon with his wife. Not making that shit up. Isn't that cute? So we're normalizing, I don't know. Like I said, it's still going to be the, it's not, it's not going to, well, according to Castro brothers, it's never going to be not communist. And they'll probably reap the benefits. So I don't, I don't get it.

And we did it in exchange for, you know, we swapped spies. We got this guy, Alan Grossback, who'd been in jail forever over there, and another very important spy, U.S. spy, who'd been there for 20 years. And we gave him back three or four bad guys who were spying on us over here. And so we really didn't. That was a wash. That was a wash. That was a wash. That's all we got. So very interesting.

Obama, huh? He's like, you know, he's a lame duck president. He's taken. He's like, I'm not finished yet. I got to get some shots in before I get out of here, which all presidents do. But it's just so funny the things he chooses to focus on. Who gives a shit? Maybe they'll have, as Hyman Roth said, the hotels are bigger and swankier than anything in Las Vegas.

Maybe we'll be able to go on vacation. I'm sure there's beautiful beaches down there. But they're communist Marxist cocksuckers, so who cares? I don't care if we normalize relations with them or not. I got more respect for them than de Blasio. They're the same ilk. That would be a good place to wrap this up, wouldn't it? Because it kind of tied in, didn't it?

Sure it did, kids. Wait a minute, I got a clip from Hyman Roth. 90 miles away, partnership with a friendly government. 90 miles? It's nothing. Just one small step, looking for a man that wants to be president of the United States, and having the cash to make it possible. Michael, we're bigger than U.S. Steel

Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people Interrogating? Exactly That's all I have to say About the whole World right now Got a cold

Yeah I'm gonna try to work out now God Hey you guys Most of you probably World right now. Got a cold. Yeah, I'm going to try to work out now. God. Hey, you guys, most of you probably aren't in your 50s. Wait till you get up there. You don't think there's much of a difference between 48 and 52? Oh, you're going to be in for a fucking shock. I got the hips of Hyman Roth.

Christ's sake, I walked on the treadmill for, I walked, I don't know, four and a half, five miles yesterday. And you'd think I sprinted them today. Knees are creaking. Ass is sore. I think I really destroyed. When you're younger and you play a lot of sports, like organized and, you know, I think you wear out your joints quicker. Got to be. Especially football.

Back in the 80s, you know, we're doing squats. We have a couch on our back. Nobody told us to warm up beforehand. We just jump in there on the squat rack. Nobody stretched or loosened up. And holy shit, Earl Campbell could beat me right now in a race. That's funny if you saw the 30-30 on him. Anyways, yeah.

So, I'm going to try to sweat. What do I do? Do I put in the P90EX thing today? See, I slept about five to six hours last night. So, I feel like that's actually a good night for me. I actually get excited about that. Oh, I didn't cover sports real quickly. Not so much, you know, the games and shit.

Boy, am I the worst. I had notes here before I started this thing. I can't even find them. What was the big sports news? For Christ's sake, Nick, get your shit together. Oh, here it is under the New York Post. Oh, here it is. Under the New York Post. Oh, as far as baseball, the goddamn Padres. Who's running that? Who's running the Padres?

A Colombian Coke dealer? Christ, all of a sudden they're spending like Nancy Pelosi. Just in the last week or so, they got Matt Kemp. He's a head case, but a hell of a ball player. Will Myers, he's a young outfielder from Tampa Bay. I like him because he has no batting gloves on, like no wristbands, like old school. But he can go deep, and he helped us.

He blew a catch against the Sox in the playoffs a couple years ago but he's a good ball player so they got matt camp will myers justin upton i think was with the braves although the will myers saying people saying they're gonna they're gonna get him and maybe trade him but listen to this they're gonna go after cole hamels they get derrick norris who's a good catcher he was with the a's and they got um my old boy middlebrooks will middlebrooks former red sox third baseman who could i thought he was gonna be the next coming of jesus who did nothing the last couple years for the sox offensively and he was always hurt but he did bang uh jenny dell so uh she's that hot she's a hot chick that worked for nesson she's that hot she's that hot chick that worked for Nesson she's really good looking and I remember

yeah she had to quit because of that I think but she's on the sideline now for you know for the NFL of course

look at my tits look at my tit. Look at my delicious tit. And, yeah, so they're loading up, and they're going to try to get Cole Hamels. This guy, A.J. Preller, his name is. He's the general manager. So, my Red Sox, still without a number one pitcher in my opinion a little worried there i mean you can't let you let lester go and we andrew miller oh boy what else nfl football went on yesterday oh the eagles collapsed this might be it for sanchez

because uh he remember he replaced nick Foles halfway through the season, and he's thrown 10 picks since then and threw a couple big ones against the Skins yesterday, a team that they should have demolished. Do you realize the Eagles started out 9-3, and they are out of the playoffs officially? The last time that happened was 2008, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Okay? Since the realignment in 2002, I think. Is that when they

realigned the divisions? It's only the second time that's happened. They were 9-3 and they're not going to the playoffs. So what do you do? Who do you get?

Poor Sanchez. I think Nick Foles is damn good. But, uh, he's not a superstar by any means. But you don't need a superstar.

Trent Dilf approved that, didn't he? Um, what a fucked up league, like I've been saying, though. By the way, I had nine. I think nine right going into tonight. It's not bad for me. Could go double digits a second time in three weeks.

And the other puzzle this year, the New Orleans Saints. Everybody was talking about them to go to the Super Bowl during the preseason. They're 6-9. They get smoked by a shitty Atlanta Falcons team in New Orleans, a place where they were unbeatable a few years ago. And you know why? You get Rob Ryan as a defensive coordinator, another overrated Ryan brother. I love their personalities.

Rex Ryan's a funny, goofy bastard. I like him. but i'm sorry they are highly overrated as coaches like i'll say it again their old man buddy was the only real real football mind in there i don't know i guess the nfl likes them because they're you know they know enough but jesus six and nine drew breeze atrees at the helm? Just horrendous. Atlanta took him apart yesterday. And then the 49ers. How about that shit show this year?

Jim Harbaugh. I mean, are you nuts? University of Michigan offered him 49 mil over, I don't know, five years, six years, seven, whatever. five years six years seven whatever 49 mil to be on a college campus with college age pussy to be the big man on campus at like literally one of the most successful um college football programs in the history of college football i think they have the most wins one or two what are you thinking about you want to deal with head cases like those that you know those freaking wife beaters and all these guys in the nfl uh 49 mil i would be on that campus so quick they love him there then played there didn't he? So, yeah.

And then the Pats, they better get this shit together. Jets gave them all they could handle, the 3-12 Jets. Yeah, Pats didn't look like they were into it. Better get this shit together. Keith Robinson might be right. He told me Denbo's going to knock the Pats out. Not if it goes through New England that's a wet dream for

us to have Peyton Manning in the snow it gets below 48 he turns into fucking Dorothy Hamill that's not makes no sense she actually liked the cold weather so that's it kiddos

pack show the cops God bless you I'm on your side always will be So that's it, kiddos. Pack show. The cops, God bless you. I'm on your side. Always will be. Just doing your jobs, trying to protect people. And they hate your guts. I'll never understand it. Of course, there's a few bad ones in there.

But out of the thousands that do it, you just, I don't know. The myth is becoming real. Because the bad people have the biggest microphone ain't that right um that's it what am i forgetting kids uh i guess uh have a good uh hanukkah have a good a good Christmas over there. All the other ones are make-believe horse poop. No. Whatever you celebrate. Enjoy it.

I lit a candle the other night for Hanukkah, the first night of Hanukkah, and I threw it through the window of a mosque. It's a joke, folks. It was good talking to you, so, yeah, happy holidays to you. I'll talk to you real soon, I guess. I hope this is the right clip. I love you for helping me to construct my life. Not a tavern, but a temple.

I love you because you have done so much. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? You have done it. Why aren't more people interrogating? Like me. Without a touch. Without a sign. You have done it by just being yourself. Perhaps, after all, that is what love means.

And that is why I love you. Good day, everybody! day everybody guitar solo Bye.