The Nick DiPaolo Show - 094 - Di Paolo-tics (Bonus Show)

Episode Date: August 13, 2015

Di Paolo-tics (Bonus Show)

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Yeah, let's get it started. How are you, kids? That's right. Bonus show this week. Last month, I had the most downloads I've had since I started doing this. And because you guys are loyal know loyal you spreading the word Thought I'd give you a nice bonus show Why the hell not

Well over a hundred thousand downloads last month, that's an aggregate number of course not a single show but You know Haven't been doing this two years yet. Now you guys have been tuning in, spreading the word. And it probably helped that I went out to L.A. and did Rogan and Carolla and Fitzsimmons and all the boys. That didn't hurt last month. But very encouraging. And, yeah.

So I appreciate the support. Go to nick.com for all your Nick DiPaolo needs. You know, that's where you can find everything. My tour dates and everything else. You know the drill. Anyways, yeah, I had Mike Dowd. I hope you guys listened to that. Maybe you haven't listened to it yet.

The dirtiest cop and the ex-cop in the history of New York City. He's the subject of a documentary called The seven five had him on yesterday that that show's already been posted i hope you listen to it it's great he's a live wire he's everything i thought he was going to be and uh you can see how he got into so much trouble because he's got this charming personality he could could convince you of anything. But it was a very interesting, very interesting take. And he pointed out a lot of differences from his version of real life in the documentary where he thought, you know, they might not have told the exact truth or whatever. And the other thing about that movie, people asking me where they can find it it's confusing right now i watched it on amazon last week and then i go to tune in sunday night to watch it again and uh there's a note up there saying something about um you know licenses agreements have changed so you can't get it at this time um so i don't know the answer to that it's it's it's somewhere out there um i'm guessing or it

will be soon i think they changed distributors because it's so popular so anyways i hope you heard that and uh you know it was a change of pace from uh didn't it wasn't joe liss it wasn't joe matterice uh jonah spielberg was the the other. I think those are the three live guests I've had. Maybe some other ones. I might be forgetting. Anyways, coming to you with a little bit of a heavy heart again tonight. A close friend of the family, my dad's best friend. My parents have been friends with this couple forever.

I think they've gone out to dinner i'm not exaggerating the last 50 years every saturday night and uh a close friend of the family a man named jack tracy uh passed away uh like five o'clock this morning 89 years old this guy was going to work up to six months ago i was home to visit my family in the fall he pulls up in his in his pickup truck at 89 and still working every day. And, you know, he got sick recently. And just a sweetheart of a guy.

I mean, he was funny as hell. And a diehard Boston sports fan. I remember as a kid, when the Islanders were an expansion team. They were playing the Bruins and Jack Tracy was at our house watching

and the Bruins are losing to the Islanders like 7-2 in the second period to an expansion team. And he got so furious he was eating an Italian hero and he went, F this! I can't even watch this! He wrapped up a sandwich and just stormed out of our front door

and got in his car and left. I mean, he used to get so excited. I never saw anybody... I thought my father got emotional about sports, but he was a funny guy, a sweet guy, and just... I got a picture of him in my wife's office.

Him and his wife, along with my parents, came down to watch me play football. We were playing Lafayette in Pennsylvania, and they were like number one in our division at the time. And we were down 30 to 14 at halftime. We ended up winning 39 36 or something one of the greatest comebacks in main history and uh he was there and i have a picture still right after the game of him with his arm around me that's in my uh in my wife's office and uh so say a prayer for uh jack tracy and his family his wife bobby and his daughter lynn uh yeah it's it's uh it's tough on my old man you know but uh yeah anyways

we've got a lot to get to and the the other, not to make this the obituary part of the show, but Frank Gifford. Frank Gifford passed over the weekend. And for you Giants fans, I mean, this guy's a Hall of Famer. Most of us my age know him from Monday Night Football, obviously. Do you remember the theme? This was the theme when Frank Gifford... Funny, this was the theme

to Monday Night Football in 1971. And it's also, uh, you can find this in any porn film. It's like, right here, the pizza guy shows up

and the chick goes, I don't have any money. Let me blow you for that slice. But, uh, listen to this shit. I'm dancing right now. I'm holding this shit. I'm dancing right now. I'm holding my nose.

I'm doing this swim. I have a fucking yellow scarf on and bell bottoms. You can only see it. That's why we have to put this show on camera. But Frank Gifford, a legend. Listen to that porn music, will you? He was something else man jesus christ now it sounds like greg brady getting high in the fucking basement with this music uh enough of that shit anyways uh yeah frank gifford it's kind of creepy because uh you know

i was watching him as a broadcaster you know know, he was a young teen. Everybody's going now. Everybody I liked on TV is going. And most people, a lot of people know Frank Gifford from the vicious hit he took from Chuck Bednarik from the Philadelphia Eagles. Was known as Concrete Charlie. He was kind of sort of the white Ray Lewis of his day. Just the last guy to play all 60 minutes. He'd play both sort of the white Ray Lewis of his day. The last guy to play all 60 minutes. He'd play both sides of the ball. And he laid out Frank Gifford, one of the most vicious hits.

You can Google it. Right up under the chin, he caught him with a clothesline. Frank was out like a fucking light. And he missed like a year and a half of football. That's how much it screwed him up. Imagine today, they would have made him retire because of the concussion or whatever. But he was a good broadcaster. him up imagine today they would have made him retire because of the concussion or whatever but uh he was a good broad broadcaster from monday night football and uh so now he's gone howard

cosell's gone and dandy don you know passed away so that's it they're all gone as jim mckay said but uh i remember uh monday night football i remember the first. Must freak you guys out how old I am. But I remember Keith Jackson was actually the announcer before Frank Gifford. Gifford took over in 71, and I think he went to like 1986. Then he got caught having an affair with some flight attendant while he was married to Kathie Lee Gifford. Who can blame him? And remember that?

So they took him, I don't know, they demoted him somehow. And Al Michaels came in. And then Al Michaels was doing baseball. So when Al Michaels had to do playoff baseball, I think they overlapped with football. Frank would take over again. And then they gave him some pregame show that didn't last. I don't know. His last days at ABC were like 1999, I think.

So rest in peace, Frank. He was like a handsome guy at USC and, you know, real pretty boy. And he could play, man. He could frigging play. He had like somebody, I thought I read this somewhere. He had like 24 touchdowns with that halfback option. Or 14 or something like that. Something crazy.

Anyways. What the hell else? Geno Smith, I just read. I'm going to get to the debates in a second. I haven't talked to you since, you know, obviously last Monday. So, well, unless you listened to the show last night. But I haven't talked about the debates and Trump and Megyn Kelly and all that. What a fucking circus.

You got to admit it. This is great. I love stuff like this. I record it. I come home after doing stand-up, and I can't wait to get to the TV. It's crazy. Yeah. So, oh, yeah, real quickly.

Geno Smith, just before I went on air, I'm going over the headlines on the internet, Just before I went on air, I'm going over the headlines on the internet. And Geno Smith gets suck a punch by some rookie linebacker for the Jets. Broke his jaw. And he's going to need surgery. And he's probably going to miss the first game. What the hell did I do with that frigging article? Really, honest to God, Nick, you are a fucking...

I couldn't even pronounce the last guy, the guy who punched him's last name. You know, there are no more Chuck Bednarik's fucking Giffords or Johnsons. But anyways, this kid seemed to be a bit of a punk, this linebacker. When he was 19 years old at Louisiana Tech, a brawl broke out in a bar, and he punched an off-duty cop and fucked him up and, you know, got charged with that. And as you know, it's a violent game for violent people. So he was dismissed immediately from the team.

And I don't want to sound like an asshole Jets fan, but I think that might be a blessing in disguise because it's just my opinion. But he is not the answer to your quarterback problems, Geno Smith. I don't think he is. the answer to your quarterback problems, Geno Smith. I don't think he is. You might disagree with that. I don't know.

But you get to look at Ryan Fitzpatrick now. I think he went to Harvard. So that's interesting. They won't say what the fight was about. All Coach Bowles, the head coach of the Jets, he said it was silly. It was something like six-year-old kids would be fighting over. I'm dying to hear what it was. But that's crazy. He sucker punched him in the locker room.

You know, what the Christ, Jets. Yeah, that's got to be infuriating if you're the head coach. But like I said, Gino Smith hasn't proved to me that he can play at this level consistently. Yeah, he was having a great camp. I guess he threw his first two interceptions of the camp yesterday. When you're remarking on something like that, that's when you know you're kind of setting the bar kind of low. If that excites you, that he's only been picked off twice in camp and you actually have to mention that. But yeah, that's dog shit.

Sucker punching somebody. It's chicken shit. So, fuck that guy, whoever did it. Cry sake, I went and printed it. I think I forgot to go up and get it. Why did I forget? Because I took two sleeping pills at 5 o'clock this morning. I got no memory of anything

mama mia i just can't sleep folks it's still going on well i shouldn't say that i fall asleep and you know three and a half hours later i'm wide awake or two hours later whatever the fuck what else is on the agenda let's get to uh yeah let's get the to the debates and um on the agenda let's get to uh yeah let's get the to the debates and um donald trump you know the whole story let me talk about the other people in the debate i watched both of them you know i dbr both of them and i watched the uh you know the happy hour debate at five o'clock and my i remember my wife walking to the living room and saying asking me about i said carly fiorina and i've said this before about carly fiorina because i've seen her on sunday talk shows i go she's really eloquent and um just concise and really has a hatred for what's going on in the country and uh she's an impressive woman she headed up hewlett packard

she's no dummy i don't know what happened to you know Hewlett Packard. She's no dummy. I don't know what happened to her. You know, Hewlett Packard went into the ground, but of course everybody has nine versions of why that is and was it her fault exactly, according to her, naturally. But she sounds very bright and just not afraid of anybody and really eloquent. And yeah, I said to my wife, she's destroying. I said, she's killing in this debate.

And so now she's, nobody had really been introduced to her. So now she's, you know, nationally, nobody really knew her name. I think like 29% of the people know who she was before the debate. But now she's up there in the rankings in Iowa and New Hampshire. She's near the top, if not at the top. And she's a pretty impressive lady. So I think it would be great. And I said this.

And let's go to Marco Rubio is the other one. Very young guy, but very impressive as far as poise and stuff. Don't worry, I'm getting to Trump in a second and all the fireworks. But he's another guy, very impressive. And, you know, his parents escaped Cuba to come over here. He was raised over here. And he's very another very smart guy and very young and and very impressive in debates and very comfortable. And I said to my wife, Andy, I go, you know, that would be a hell of a ticket for the Republicans. Marco Rubio, right, to have a Hispanic and a woman vice president.

Or vice versa, if you want to turn it around. People get pissed. That's sexist, too, by the way. If you automatically assign Carly Fiorina to the vice presidency, that's sexist. You would never do that to a guy. Ah, shut the fuck up. Enough of that horse shit. That goes for you too, Megyn Kelly,

who I, I don't know. My opinion has changed on her. The feminist horse shit always comes into play, doesn't it? No matter what we're talking about, whether it's sports, whatever. Let me tell you, folks, listen to me. If you hate political correctness, you should hate feminists, radical feminists. That's what's

at the core of political correctness. That's what it is. It's about hurting women's feelings. They jumped onto the coattails of the civil rights movement and try to portray themselves as victims. And I'm so fucking tired of it. I'm just so goddamn tired of it. And, you know, Megyn Kelly, who I like, by the way, I've met her in the Fox building doing the strategy room. That was a streaming show they used to do.

And I like her. I watch her show here and there. But I also noticed when she was on O''reilly all the time as a guest if o'reilly was even a little bit sexist in his words that she would jump on that fucking high horse and you gotta get it through your head there's more there's bigger problems in the world ladies than your feelings being hurt jesus christ give it a rest already. And she's not like a militant feminist, but I could see that she's been brainwashed too.

As, you know, successful as she is and whatnot. Very quick to jump in and, ooh, that was sexist. Don't treat me different than you. Just can we give it a fucking rest, I ask you. So tiring. But, you know, she comes you. So tiring. But, you know, she comes out with this question. The first question right at the top of the debate, you know, Brett Baier says, I want you to raise your hands if you won't pledge,

if there's anybody up there that wouldn't pledge their loyalty to, you know, if a Republican wins the nomination. And, you know, you actually think about being a third party, you know, running as a third party, which would fuck the Republicans. Obviously, it was a question that was meant for one person up there, Donald Trump, because he'd already mentioned

that he wouldn't give his loyalty if he wasn't treated by him. So it's obviously Fox. I don't know. I can't figure out their angle. You know, I think they're for the establishment Republicans. I don't know I can't figure out their angle you know I think they're for the establishment Republicans I I don't know what Trump is I don't know where to throw him I'm still not even sure he might be a mole he might be a mole put in there by the Democrats I haven't ruled that out either

and people say why how come on don't be crazy why would you think why look what he's done I mean the few controversial remarks he's made one was was about Mexican-Americans, right? If you wanted to fire up the base on the left, right, and snub, if you really wanted to fire up voters on the left, what would you do? You'd have a candidate on the right that would say shit about Mexicans. And then this latest barb, you know, the sexist remarks supposedly about uh about megan kelly right so now you're being a sexist now you're racist i mean you gotta admit there's this rumor out there that bill clinton called uh trump i guess they've confirmed that they actually talked but trump says we did not talk about about you know me running and stuff it was a different conversation i guess that's what he's saying now but uh people you know people are mumbling that clinton you know talked uh trump into doing this

that would clear the way for his fucking asshole wife that's right i said it who was just the worst by the way anyways um so so read it read it with the you know the first two minutes of debate it was look like uh an effort by fox to kind of marginalize trump or whatever however you want to read into it i i don't know there's a million things you could say um here's the here's the question uh that megan kelly asked trump i'm sure you've all heard it by now, but here's the... Mr. Trump, one of the things people love about you is you speak your mind, and you don't use a politician's filter. However, that is not without its downsides,

in particular, when it comes to women. Oh, Jesus. You call women you don't like fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals. Your Twitter account... Only Rosie O'Donnell. I know it wasn't.

Listen to that. I haven't got a lap that big in years. Your Twitter account... Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. For the record, it was well beyond Rosie O'Donnell. Yeah, sure. Thank you. Excuse me. yeah thank you thank you for the record it was well beyond rosio yeah sure thank you oh i fucking love it right there is enough for me to vote for this guy i don't give a

shit what he is turn out he's a red chinese oh that's me watching the debate, by the way. Oh, my God. I fucking love it. And it really was a stupid question, in my opinion, by Megyn Kelly. It was directed at him to take him down a notch. You know, she doesn't even put it into context. And that's, you know, he did say that shit about Rosie O'Donnell because he was being attacked on The View every day. That fat pig Rosie O'Donnell was, you being attacked on the view every day that fat pig Rosie O'Donnell was you know making fun of his ex-wives talking about his kids all kinds of horse shit

that nobody even asked about right because that's the country we live in all's we see and heard was a man said something bad about a woman and I love the fact it's like a he gets like a 30 second as a comedian i would have had an erection on stage get a nice applause break two minutes into the biggest you know trump had never debated before that had to put him at ease only about rosie o'donnell and people are out there oh is this the right temperament for a president yes it is. We don't want the same horse shit we've been getting for the last 40 years. I would love, I want a president

who would, you know, who's asked a stupid question by, you know, whether it's a male or a female journalist and go, what are you talking about, bitch? Okay, maybe not bitch,

but you know what I'm talking about. Enough of this horse shit. I mean, we have huge problems in this country and in the world. And oh, Christ, is that sexist. Get the fuck over yourselves, feminist. Please. You know who Donald Trump is, don't you? He reminds me of a movie character.

This is who Donald Trump... What I love about him, folks, he's a rich, filthy rich white guy running for president in a time in this country where it's the worst thing you can be as a rich white guy because everybody thinks, you know,

you just had everything handed to you, white privilege and all that horse shit. That's what I love about him. He's a rich... Here's who he is, okay? See if you don't recognize this guy. Hey, doll, can you scarp another round for our table over here and tell the cook this is low-grade dog food, all right? Now, here, take this for yourself, okay?

Gee, I had better food at the ballgame, you know? I'll tell you, this steak still has marks where the jockey was hitting it. That's Trump. Well, anyway, today I just stick to real estate. You know, with the market these days, if you want anything but land, you want a popcorn fire. That's Trump, is it not? Somebody step on a duck. Is that not Trump?

Al, who was played by Rodney Dangerfield brilliantly in Caddyshack, is that not Donald Trump? So Megyn Kelly, you know, comes out with that question right at the beginning, obviously trying to go after Trump. I don't get it. I think she's smarter than that. What does that prove? You know?

I think he's already proven, but he's still up there in the poll ratings. It proves... I don't know if she thought, ooh, look, I just proved he was misogynist and wouldn't make a good president. But it's obvious by his numbers. People thought he'd been eliminated a month ago.

People don't give a fuck. That's what they like like about him he's not going to apologize either you know so then later on uh the next day or right out i don't know if it's right after the uh right after the debate or the next day whenever trump you know came out with this remark that's got the world in a tizzy he's talking talking about Megyn Kelly's temperament during the debate. You know, you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her wherever. But she was, in my opinion, she was... Blood coming out of whatever.

You know what he was talking about. And he definitely meant it that way and i like trump i didn't always like him like i said but he's winning me over i still you know i again it's the political correctness i don't give a shit if he wins or loses i just you know we can expose how poison political correctness is um but he meant that you know he meant he's talking about her having her period so funny listening him try to backpedal and you probably saying well how do you know what he meant nick because i've done that we've all done that haven't we we said some shit that some people could take you know it's kind of ambiguous and you kind of no i didn't mean it that way come on you hear him he's like i went to, I went to Wharton Business School. I'm a billionaire.

You know, would I really talk like that? Yeah, you would. I would hope so. That's why I'm voting for you, stupid. Don't backpedal. Don't mealy mouth it. Let me hear that again, because that's a legendary remark in a debate. You know, you could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.

Her wherever. Then he goes, I was talking about her nose. Yes, that's a common phrase. It was kind of blood. She was angry. It was coming out of her eyes and her nose. And maybe he was. Maybe I'm wrong.

I mean, Libs can look at me and see what's in my heart, right, and say that I'm racist and I'm misogynist. So maybe I can look at his heart and say, maybe he didn't mean it that way. Oh, wasn't that a beautiful moment, though, in the debate? It's just, you know, it was a fucking circus. It's a circus. But who else was I impressed with? And I really do believe, and you guys know, I lean right in my politics. But I'm not saying this is bias.

I was impressed. Compare the lineup here. You know, the people on that stage with what Democrats have. Hillary Clinton. Just, what the fuck? I still say she's not going to make's not gonna be the nominee i still say it to this and i've been saying it fucking for a year now me and colin can argue on the phone and uh it's just there's too much shit there's too much baggage isn't there

the fbi does their job and the investigators and she'll be in jail just a douchey answers what she wants when she wants and it's perfect all this trump stuff you know how he's sucking the air out of the room it's all playing right into her hands right she's just sitting by the wayside not having to answer questions she probably loves this oh she came out on a limb and defended megan kelly and not naturally what trump said is typical of the climate and this the anti-woman climate. Have you ever heard such fucking horseshit? I've been here since I was 20.

Anti-woman climate. Are you kidding me? All we do is buy drinks and dinner when we're single. You can marry a rich guy and have kids and have it all. Oh, yeah. Cut to a little girl getting battery acid thrown in her face and fucking Kabul. Anyways.

Huckabee, he had a good line at the end. You know, he said, but there's a person in the race that, you know, has never held office and saying a lot of politically incorrect. But by and turns out, you know, he did a spin. We all thought he was talking about Trump. It was Hillary Clinton. Ha, ha, ha.

Huckabee's all right, but he's like a big government guy. I don't trust him. Ben Carson. Love Ben Carson. Way too smart to be a politician. It would be a step down if he actually became president. Guy's like the head of neurosurgery at John Hopkins. And he didn't get to say very much during the debate.

But at the end, you know, people, all the politicians at the debate were bragging. You know, they kept saying, I'm the only person that have done this. And they'd bring up some political thing they passed. I'm the only person on the stage that's done this. And at the end, I don't know if he, I'd like to know if he wrote it or obviously probably has a writer but he said i'd like to bring up a few things that i've done that nobody else has done here on the stage and he said you know separate sime's twins and uh remove half a brain and then he said although you know if you went to washington dc uh you would have thought somebody beat me to it. Great line. He's very likable.

And the question about him as well is he's not a politician. He's been a doctor. That's very different. What makes him think he can handle this job? Well, I don't know. I'd rather a brain surgeon than a community organizer and a guy who was a senator for 144 days total. Yeah, he was overqualified. We still don't know about his school records or anything fucking poor ben poor dr carson uh he he would have had a legitimate chance if it wasn't you know if he wasn't running for president after

barack obama you're not gonna see a black president for another thousand years I hope I'm wrong about that but Jesus you know maybe throw him on the ticket he's a brain surgeon people on the left are always hung up on people's grades and how smart they are Obama's a genius that's the most important part

Bill Clinton's a genius Al Gore's a genius it's all about smarts and uh you know so uh yeah dr ben you get uh chris christie who let me tell you about chris christie here's how i feel about him he like i said before he's not a real he's not even close to a cons only he could be considered a little bit conservative only in new jersey would they consider a guy like that, you know, conservative or whatever. And I

know he's, I like his abruptness and he's blunt with people, but he's a big baby. He's kind of a big, he gets the, I don't know, he's a whiner or whatever. But, that being said, he's smart as hell. I mean, every time I see him in an argument or debate, he holds his own. He got into it with Rand Paul,

who was my dark horse but i'm i might change my mind ran paul they get into it about you know security and ran paul said i want i want to collect the records of all terrorists not you're not snooping on americans you know and christy said well that's stupid it's a stupid answer and and then they get into it this is why like ran paul goes yeah yeah, well, go hug Obama again. Reference to when he hugged him after Sandy stormed the hurricane. And then Christy, you know, the only hugs I remember giving were, you know, family members that lost people in the Twin Tower.

You know, it was a good pissing match. And, you know, I think Christy might have got the better of them there. But Christy, I can't make up my mind. He's not. You know, there's nobody out there conservative enough for me. And by the way, Ari Safir fans. Ari, excuse me, Safir. I was on his show, and I said I'm more of a libertarian.

I didn't say I was a libertarian. I said I was more of a libertarian than I am like a full-blooded conservative you know and uh because i did his show and he's got a bunch of pot smoking fuckers who don't have the balls to pick a side well we're right then you know they're arguing what the definition of a libertarian is they don't even know yes 10 different libertarians define libertarianism and they give you 10 different answers so when you straighten out come talk to me but um i mean i like his fans if they like him because i like ari even though he's a little confused and smokes a pound of pot a day and he he names the show i was on unconservative and incorrect and then we start talking about uh homosexuality and gay people

and bullying he brings up matthew shepherd and doesn't even know anything about this story and you know they're telling me i'm uninformed i'm 53 years old i forgot more about politics and you guys know and i say that assuming that his fans are as young as he is but he's a funny guy and i still like him and i do his show again but uh you know they don't even know how to define their own beliefs anyways can you tell them all wound up yeah i did three lines of blow off my wife's tits about six minutes ago that's right uh chris christie john casick jesus christ is this guy i know and this guy is a proven record he worked with reagan when he was in his like 20s and he balanced the budget and the arms forces he was on the arms forces uh committee for the head of it for 20 something years and he's got an impressive resume and ohio was in the toilet Forces Committee for the head of it for 20-something years. And he's got an impressive resume.

And Ohio was in the toilet when he took over. And they have like a $2 billion surplus. He really does have a record. He just bores my fucking ass to death. Her asshole just sits there like a fucking ass, making me furious. That was Giamatti in the Angry Men sketch. But he actually gets shit done god forbid so he just barely made the debate and so he's he's he's doing well in new hamps right now

him and carly ferrari now i guess and uh so he's kind of he's an impressive guy but uh rand paul didn't show me much that debate but I don't think he'll go away. He's got a lot of shit up his sleeve. Rick Perry was in the early debate and he's, Rick, Rick, those fucking glasses. Look,

you made a dope of yourself a few years ago in that debate and those glasses aren't fooling anybody. It's unbelievable. Every time I look at him, I see those glasses. I go, he's trying to make us think he's intelligent.

Yeah, he's done a good job in Texas with jobs and whatnot. But I'm sorry. He's not even, and he's still doing. I read a story today where he's already run out of money. People aren't donating to him. See, nobody believes in him. There's something too pretty boy about him. And kind of like a dizzy blonde.

That's my take on him. I could be wrong. I mean, he's been a successful governor. You can't argue that. And he deals with the border and immigration, but those fucking glasses. It would be like Hillary coming out with giant fake tits

the next time you see her on TV just trying to distract you from that fucking giant Clydesdale ass. That's all I can think of. That's all I can think of when I look at Rick Perry. He's trying to fool us. Look at those fucking glasses, those Janine Garofalo glasses,

those stupid rims that you see on everybody at Starbucks. Every time I walk by Starbucks, I just want to take a dump and throw it at the window at all the jerk-offs, because you know how they voted, just by how they dressed and drinking their latte caca-poo-poos. Anyways, who else was in there? Jeb Bush. Ugh. Jeb Bush.

Just doesn't do it for me. He sounds too much like a polit career politician again people in florida said he was a great governor and shit i don't know he's for common core and all that and ted cruz is doing well i love ted cruz they say he's the smartest guy up there you know he was like a law clerk for rehnquist you know the guy in the supreme court or whatever and uh you know he when he debates he doesn't have notes you know he went to he's a smart guy again his physical his physical attributes don't help him he's kind of a weird looking dude and i know that shouldn't matter i mean look at obama for christ's sake ah but uh cruz is doing well i guess after the

debates he's got a bump he's he's he's up in the top four i guess depending on what polls you look at and um you know he's a real right winger and he sticks to his core and shit people get turned off by his religion that's a bad thing now and this could become such a secular country but he keeps making the point that there's 90 million you know evangelists in this country and 54 million of them didn't come out to vote last time when romney 54 million sat home so i mean if he could tap into a fraction of them i would love to see that guy. Love it. Bobby Jindal, again, poor bastard. It's his physical. He just, he looks like he should be running a radio shack. Comes out with those little shoulders and that shitty little necktie on,

and he's smart as hell, but, you know, Louisiana's not in good financial shape, depends who you want to believe. But just looking at him, I expect him to come out and go, I'm sorry, sir. Was it too much cutty in you? I know that's racist and who gives a fucking rat's ass? So he doesn't.

Bobby Jindal, I'm sorry. You want to quit now. You and Perry should go get a condo and talk it over. Scott Walker. You know, here's a guy that, the Wisconsin guy, that he's won three elections in a very blue state and uh you know he took on the unions and kicked the shit out of them

and they had a special election he got re-elected or whatever he's got a proven record but this mother what did he smoke a fucking two bones before he won did you see his eyes he's got eyes like jim brewer who has eyes like jack nicholson they're like at half mass and he just looks stoned you gotta pick up the i mean come on dude you you're you came across as a very boring white fella jesus christ pick up the energy will you poor bastard has a ball patch too it looks like somebody you know it looks like somebody dropped know it looks like somebody dropped his fucking circular saw on his head at a construction site and took a nice chunk out of the top somebody has to hit that with some krylon nice black spray paint nice pull some of the hair off uh carly fiorino's arms and tape it to the back of your head

he's an impressive guy scott walker but he did nothing to help himself in that like he didn't really stand out he looked like he was just playing it safe maybe that's what he's doing i don't know i mean an impressive guy and he's still up there in all the polls but honest to god carly fiorina impressed me more than anybody i agree with the polls and shit at how concise she was and you know she's very lean in her language and i can't wait to see her get to get hillary in a headlock bite her nipples off and spit him into the crowd to a standing ovation what you heard me um i probably forgot a couple in there but if i forgot them that means they're not worth talking about night rubio very impressive you know like i said

um unfortunately we're not looking for another conventional politician you know i mean we're sick of that's why trump is still alive and well and kicking but rubio's an impressive young guy him and uh you throw fiorina in there, you know, as a ticket. Like I said, an Hispanic and a woman? That'll be tough to beat. Let me tell you something, Republicans. If you can't beat the Dems in

2016, November, you gotta fucking pack it up. I'll join the goddamn... I'll join, you know, I don't know. I don't know what I'll join. Probably the Canadian Air Force. I'll join the goddamn... I'll join, you know, I don't know. I don't know what I'll join. Probably the Canadian Air Force. I'll just get the fuck out of here if you can't.

I mean, if you can't take these guys, I mean, you got Hillary Clinton. She should be in jail for fuck's sake. If the Constitution was even a little bit relevant. And she still might be. But that's an interesting angle, isn't it? Maybe Bill Clinton called Trump. Like I said, Trump, I don't know what to make of this guy.

But I love the fact that he makes a sexist crack like that, something that would come out of a guy's mouth at a construction. And he did mean her, period. And I know that's supposed to make me not want him. But fuck that. Again, we're living in weird times. Political correctness is the cancer that's killing us. He could have said, yeah, she was squirting like the fuck.

I haven't seen much blood since, you know, the Godfather, the horse's head in the bed. He could have said something like that, and I would have goddamn started working for him. But that's me. I'm a comedian, a little bit immature like that. But I like that type of fucking nonsense. And you should too. Let's talk about the libs. And, well, all kinds of shit went on.

Now, before we get to that, well, what do you want to go? We can talk about, yeah, let's stay on the politics. Let's talk about the libs and race. Bernie Sanders tried to give a speech this weekend in Oregon. I think it was in Portland. I think. Anyone, does it really matter? It's one of those fucking left-wing cities out west.

And he gets shouted down. He gets shouted down. He gets shouted down by Black Lives Matter. And this was before the recent unrest in Ferguson. We'll get to that in a few minutes. But the libs and race, I love it.

Political correctness, again, I say it, and I'll keep saying it because people don't seem to understand. All that shit comes from the left. It's a byproduct of, you know what, of identity politics, which is, you know, what they've perfected, Democrats. They love to divide us as far as gender and race and all that horseshit. Bernie Sanders is a self-admitted socialist, democratic socialist, whatever the fuck that means.

But he's a dope. He doesn't have a chance of winning a million years. Yet he's climbing right up Hillary's fat ass in the polls. And he had 27, 28,000 in Portland to hear him speak. And Black Lives Matter. Well, here's what went down. Two young black girls from Black lives matter wouldn't even let them get to the podium they jump in there and of course i think it had to be a predominantly white crowd right bunch of fucking libs came out to hear bernie sanders and they sit there and they're being held hostage by these two young black hateful black chicks who hate white people with every ounce of their fucking being i mean they this race. This is black race in which nobody talks about.

But a bunch of white, dopey, liberal fucks from Seattle just sitting there with no balls instead of saying, get the fuck off the stage. Even if they, I think they might have even sponsored the thing, the rally. I'm not even sure about that. But the point is, everybody was there to see Bernie Sanders and these two idiots hijack it.

Listen to these dicks. Bernie Sanders, i would like to welcome you to this place called seattle which is actually occupied duwamish land and hypocritically named after chief self you hear that the lamb was stolen from from some Indians and hypocritical. She's the... Now, I want you to listen to this. You can pick up some of the libs right up front near the microphones.

Who can't believe what this chick is doing. And there's another black girl next to her with a puss on her face. Just, ugh, miserable. Located in King County. Where the silhouette of Martin Luther King reigns high while we spend $210 million building a new jail to imprison black children. Oh, we build a $200 million jail to imprison black children. Yes, I noticed a bunch of babies out there in their Pampers in Ferguson shooting at the

cops. And I guess it's babies, you know, two-year-old toddlers that are raping, and pillaging, and rioting, and looting, and committing a disproportionate amount of crime. Black children. That's what she just said. That's who we're incarcerating.

And by the way, I say build more prisons. You don't dictate. You let the crime, the amount of crime dictate how many prisons you build. Not the other way around. Keep building them until fucking we have complete peace. I don't give you let the crime the amount of crime dictate how many prisons you build not the other way around keep building them till fucking we have complete peace i don't give a shit what color the people are they're being thrown in the prisons build them till there's fucking no crime there's some logic you couldn't handle in a thousand years back to the dumb broads

welcome to seattle where seattle Police Department has been under federal consent decree for the past three years and yet has been riddled by use of force, racial profiling, and scandals throughout the year. I want to welcome you, Bernie, to Westlake, where we said Black Lives Matter on Black Friday. We shut down Westlake, and we shut down the tree lighting and we have anointed this land saying we will fight for black lives no matter what it takes she should have been grabbed around the scruff of her fucking neck by her uh dreadlocks and then dragged off but a bunch of white liberal douches with no balls whatsoever sitting there take it in the face and you can hear them later on you're gonna hear the

white libs up front going how dare you because she's gonna call them all racist right now you know and if there's any city that isn't racist as far as white people go it's, it's, where the fuck were they? Portland? Oh, Seattle. Excuse me, Seattle. Here we go. Welcome to Seattle, where the Seattle School Department suspends black students at a rate six times higher than their counterparts. Did you hear that?

Where the Seattle School Department suspend black students six times more than their white counterpart. That's because, and again, that's where the sentence stops. It doesn't have the fact to do that they are misbehaving six times more and are committing suspendable offenses six times more. That's called disparate impact, by the way, when you just look at the numbers and there's no evidence, nobody's crying racism, but just because, you know, you go, oh, more black people are being suspended. The next question, if you have any logic or reasoning, goes, well, are they committing more offenses where they could be suspended for?

That's the next question, but we don't even ask that. Yeah, I can't believe where we are in this nation. Anyways, back to this loudmouth pig. Bernie, welcome to Seattle. Where we have undergone intense gentrification in the Central District, where it used to be the only place where we black people could live legally in Seattle.

Now she's complaining about neighborhoods that have been gentrified. I'll translate that for you. In real speak instead of dem speak or lib speak. That's really shitty neighborhoods that were predominantly minority and ran into the fucking grounds and where, you know,

white people moved in or gay people and turned into a beautiful neighborhood. That's gentrification. And she doesn't want that. They complain about it in Brooklyn, too. But, ooh, I hear a phone upstairs. Eh, that's all right. Welcome. This is what we have to deal with here.

Yeah, then move out. Get the fuck out. Tomorrow is the one-year anniversary of the ruthless murder of michael brown oh you guys all remember that ruthless murder right when he went when he stole a box of cigars pushed the store clerk into a bucket rack of food and walked down the middle of the street and told the cop to fuck off and they told him to move and then reached into the cop car and tried to grab the cop's gun remember he punched the cop in the eye socket and tried to steal his gun and he ended up getting killed you remember that right that's a murder according to her and a lot of other people

it is time that we honor that here and now we've already already done it. Bernie says that he's about to. Did you hear that? Now some of the, even the white libs, that idiots, they're starting to get restless. Some girl went, we already done it. We've already done it. We already honored Michael Brown. Now they're getting restless. Yeah.

Fuck free speech. The people about grassroots movement. The biggest grassroots movement in this country right now is the Black Lives Matter movement. All lives matter, by the way. We all know that. We know Bernie Sanders got booed for saying that a couple weeks ago. So did Martin O'Malley. He actually booed when Martin O'Malley said white lives matter to black

people actually booed. Who are the racists again? Hello? Hello? People actually booed. Who were the racists? Again, who? Hello?

Who? The whole Mike Brown thing predicated on a lie. And again, by a justice department that was run by Eric Holder, who he would have loved nothing better than thrown Officer Darren Wilson in prison for the rest of his life. He had a hard-on for that. You know, Holder hates, you know he hates fucking white people. And even he couldn't prove, even he couldn't prove that the cop did anything wrong. And yet, still, they're saying it was a murder. So, you're just in denial. Is that how it works?

Is that how it works on the far, far loony left? Again, I'm not talking about all people who vote Democrat. Obviously, you're not as nuts as this broad. But it doesn't fit into your narrative. Like the, you know, like the rape case in Rolling Stone turned out to be false.

But they said, you know what? So what? We got our message out anyways. That's how they... Back to the nice little black girl who loves America. So right now, we're going to honor this space. Listen to how angry she's getting.

And we're going to honor all of the black lives lost this year. Listen to her. And we're going to honor the fact that I have to fight through all these people who said, my life matters! That I have to get up here in front of a bunch of screaming white racists to say my life matters. But I have to get up here in front of a bunch of screaming white racists to save my life. Hear what she just said? In front of a bunch of screaming white racists. Do you fucking believe it?

Do you believe it? And now people are getting pissed, even the dumb liberal whites that are there to support uh socialist bernie sanders sounds like a set i had the other night at the stand you hear the white liberal guy how dare dare you? Oh, my God. What is this, 1928? How dare you, you tomato? You moxie little thing, you?

Do what people across the country are doing this weekend. How dare you? Since the day that Mike Brown... Don't yell at her. You created her, shithead. I love it. They're eating each other. They're eating each other. Just enjoy it, folks on the right, because it's starting to finally, starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. When they're eating each other. They're eating each other. Just enjoy it, folks, on the right,

because it's starting to finally, starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel. When they start eating each other, that's a good sign. They're eating each other. Bernie Sanders is so punk, because he marched, and he's a Jewish guy from Brooklyn.

He marched in the civil rights, and you think they give a fuck, Bernie? They look at you, they see an old white guy. They hate you a fucking guts. They'd cut your throat first if something went down they don't respect you obviously you can tell by this uh their behavior do you hear the lady how dare she call me a racist i won't i love it i love it. I love it. You're going to set me.

If you're not a racist, I'm a racist. We are going to have a moment of silence from now. How dare you! For four and a half minutes. We'll just represent the four and a half hours of body lay in the street. And we'll start with... Fucking liberal asshole. Oh, it's been a beautiful week.

They're eating each other alive. And I got another example of them eating each other alive. It's come full circle. Like I said, when Jerry Seinfeld's complaining about political correctness and Chris Rock and people listen because they're wealthy and super famous. But I feel good about all the shit I said on Tough Crowd now. and people listen because they're wealthy and super famous. But I feel good about all the shit I said on Tough Crowd. Now, I feel good. I feel like I was ahead of the curve.

Yeah, it probably hurt me in the business, industry-wise. Maybe. You can't prove it. But, you know, let's be honest. People that work at NBCUniversal aren't listening to my podcast. So I don't think there's any harm. But yeah, I feel vindicated in all the shit I said. That was supposedly, you know, kind of racist. Again, I was saying it to my black friend Patrice O'Neill and Keith Robinson.

But I think it's coming around. They're starting to feed on each other. It gives me a nice chub. Sure it does. My wife will benefit from this. other. It gives me a nice chub. Sure it does. My wife will benefit from this. She didn't even realize it. Bernie Sanders. What a dope.

Yeah, he's getting big numbers and shit. So what? Carrot Top was doing like 50,000 seats, wasn't he? I always bring him up and he's actually a good guy. He actually made more sense politically than Bernie Sanders now that I think about it. But you know, Bernie Sanders believes in shit like everybody should go to college. Everybody, not just a few, not just a minority.

Everybody should have a free college education. You know, we're almost $20 trillion in debt, and these are the things he's putting out. Income inequality, which is, you know, has become 10 times worse under Obama. Because, you know, all these entitlements and shit. How do you think we throw people on Medicaid? Who do you think's paying for that fucking shit? You know, they're just trying to break the system. And, you know, he's a socialist.

He really thinks we should all make 40 grand a year. All make the same amount of money. And live, you know, in mediocrity. So, yeah, he's doing big numbers and i would love it people are you know discounting him and shit and um they interviewed some woman who was at the uh was at the uh la he was in la where he did like 27 000 people at 28 you know uh la he was in la where he did like 27 000 people at 28 you know um and she said well he can do it you know they said john kennedy would never do it because he was a catholic obama a black man would never be yes and they both did it proving that what it's not a racist country why don't you fucking make a mental note dummy

but uh bernie bernie sanders has he just got endorsed by a nurse's union, 185,000 nurses, which is actually appropriate. They'll be changing his diaper in a few years and sticking catheters in his wrinkled prick and doing it at a decent wage. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So even after all the shit that went on in portland bernie you know because of black lives matter bernie actually uh invited the group to open his rally in los angeles i guess

he hasn't learned his lesson yet feel the burn that was my wife texting me She said she'll be home soon. With new dog food. We've been feeding her dog food, the same dog food for years. Last month or so, she keeps throwing it up. My wife goes on the internet and finds out. There's like a class action suit against this company. I don't even know the name of it.

We gave the dog different food a few days ago, and she didn't throw it up. For about a week, we gave her new food. She was fine. And just to see if it was the old food, because we didn't know, we gave her a little. She's throwing up like me, my senior year at Sigma Nu. Anyways, that's nice that there's companies that they're poisoning. Bernie Sanders will have my back on that one.

Those goddamn corporations don't give a fuck about the dogs. I love him though. He's a really curmudgeon, isn't he? He's like a cranky old fuck. Kind of like that. That's what I do like about him. But he's just lost his mind. This whole thing about income inequality.

So much horseshit. So much horseshit. Anyways. That's how it works in a free market, dickhead. Some people are going to soar way higher than others. Try to keep up. That's my message. On more dumb liberals' horseshit, California Governor Jerry Brown yesterday signed into law a law that bans the word alien from the state's labor laws.

I can't make this shit up. I can't make it up. Oh, boy. They, you know, they really are. Just understand this, folks. Political correctness is changing people's behavior through changing the language, which is what's so fucking evil about it. And Jerry, Jerry Brown, just a dope. Can't stand this fucker.

He's in his 70s. Why don't you retire finally? SB432, introduced by state as Senator Tony Mendoza, Republican. This is in California. Another state run by liberals. That's, you know, bankrupt and, you know, people leaving in droves because of the crime. And it's just a fucking liberal nightmare.

Like Detroit, like Atlanta. Just name any other frigging city. Just, you know, Baltimore. Yeah, you're wrong about everything. Anyways, yeah, so this removes the term alien. Baltimore. Yeah, you're wrong about everything. Anyways. Yeah, so this removes the term alien. Previously defined. This is what alien is, if you guys didn't know. Any person who is not a born or fully naturalized citizen of the United States.

Apparently this is offensive now. It's also removed the state's preference for hiring. Listen to this. remove the state's preference for hiring listen to this it's also removed the state's preference for hiring u.s citizens on public works projects during periods of unemployment oh so you're going to legalize reverse discrimination okay uh the bill passed the senate unanimously mendoza said at the time the state senate approved the bill that the term alien was offensive adding it has no place in our laws and should not be the basis of employment hiring alien is now commonly considered a derogatory term for a foreign-born person says who says who because you fucking idiots out in los angeles find it offensive and you're obsessed with words, you hypersensitive idiots?

Really? It's commonly considered, well, maybe in L.A. County, a derogatory term for a foreign-born person and has very negative connotations. Negative connotations. Negative connotations.

What the fuck, P? Somebody voted against it. You believe this? A state assemblyman, a guy named Matthew Harper from, oh, yeah. No, I'm sorry. From Huntington Beach. That's in Orange County in California. He told the San Francisco Chronicle that the bill was just a way for legislators to keep their names in the paper.

The negative connotations come from the fact that people are breaking the law. Changing the word won't change the fact that folks are here illegally. Exactly. Exactly. Oh, my God, they're so dumb. God bless this poor bastard. Orange County, there's like three Republicans left. Ah, mama.

Mama mia. So, yeah. So let's keep fucking with the language until everybody buys into it. LA, yeah. He had some big crowds, Bernie. So, you know, Sunday was the one year anniversary of thug mike brown being rightfully um you know shot by cops as he was trying to assault the cop and

it would happen uh to a chinese 90 year old woman if if she did what he did or a white guy and by the way let's again let's not forget the fact that uh did or a white guy. And by the way, let's again, let's not forget the fact that twice as many white guys were killed by cops as black guys last year. Yeah, don't forget that. So and it's hardly an epidemic, but keep that keep that fucking myth alive. Imagine saying all lives matter and getting booed for it? I'm telling you, I think young black kids would love Donald Trump. I'm telling you. They respect money.

They respect people who are successful. They respect people who have gold toilets like Tony Montana and gold faucet fixers. I mean, he could go into the hood and go hey i'm gonna build you guys a studio who's interested we're gonna start our own label right fucking bad hair whatever slap dish uh but uh you know i mean i'm just saying they respect dore me and somebody who can get it done just like white people do so I don't know what to make of Trump I'm enjoying this though

it really is I don't know I still like I said I'm still not even sure he's not a mole from the Democrats but now he's saying that he I guess yesterday he said that he will make a pledge that he won't run as an independent or a third party

and fuck it up if he doesn't get the nomination. He doesn't get the nomination. Let's see. There's another example of Libs eating each other alive out of political correctness was The View, which I don't watch. But again, this story was in the news and it's what we're talking about today. So Kelly Osbourne, you know, that real right winger from England, Ozzie's kid. I'm saying that sarcastically. She couldn't be more, you know, liberal and whatever.

Anyways, they were talking about trump and and kelly osborne well here's the clip this is what she said and uh rosie perez got her delicious panties in a bunch about it and took it the wrong way and there was some controversy i guess rosie has since left the show but uh this is this was the compass it was a conversation. Kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump? Oh, that's... In the sense that... You know what I mean?

What I'm saying is... There's more jobs to be... In L.A., they always... But Latinos are not only the only people doing that. No, I didn't mean it like that. Come on. No, I would never mean it like that. Okay.

I'm not part of this argument. See how quick minorities are? Whether it's Rosie Perez, and there was some mean it like that. Okay, I'm not part of this argument. See how quick minorities are? Whether it's Rosie Perez, and there was some other chick on that. I don't watch the show. She was sitting on the far end. She was probably Asian, because you gotta have to meet that quota.

She might have been an Eskimo sitting on a fucking, you know, chunk of ice. She has to be represented, too. But do you see how quick Rosie was? Oh, no, that was racist. How quick they are? It's just a knee jerk reflexive political correctness doesn't even obviously you know kelly osborne if you if you if

you know her and they do and you know her politics she couldn't be more of a lib she was taking a shot at donald trump and that's who does wash toilets. My grandmothers, my dad's parents, when they came over from Italy, they cleaned dorm rooms and made beds. And my grandfather laid down railroad tracks. But that's what immigrants do. And she wasn't saying that's all Latinos are capable of doing. And for you to, and Rosie knows her her knows her politics you see how quick they were to circle the wagons around her and and oh that was that was racist and wrong and she had to explain herself and then and then i guess rosie uh apologized to kelly i think off camera then the abc executives told rosie that she should apologize to kelly on camera and

that pissed her off and then she didn't show up last couple days but again it's it's it's libs eating libs right we all know how they vote on the view and and kelly osborne couldn't be less racist but you see how quick they are to point that finger they can't get Whitey out of here quick enough. They can't move us out of here quick enough. Oh, it's so fun. I'm watching it like porn, watching these guys, these people attack each other, creating the monster.

Getting eaten by the monster that they created. It's so much goddamn fun. Black Lives Matter. We talk about Bernie Sanders getting shot up by Don and the Michael Brown thing. I got off a little on track, went over to the view just to show you another example. black lives matter we uh we talked about bernie sanders getting shot about down in the michael brown thing i got off a little on track went over to the view just to show another example but uh

you know so sunday night they uh in ferguson they got together again to i don't know why to celebrate a thug who was rightfully gunned down by cops you know and um and uh it's ferguson so you know you get more than 10 people together out there uh you know non-violent protesters and uh it's non-violent just remember that right it's a non-violent hello am i in ferguson hello so some shit started in uh i don't know if this was sunday night or monday night uh i think it was sunday night um anyways there was some gunplay sunday night began as a peaceful demonstration on sunday night in ferguson descended into chaos as uh volleys of gunshots rang out and police and

riot gear tried to disperse protesters blocking off traffic and they were smashing storefront windows on the same street that the shit went down a year ago and dumb uh jay nixon he's the governor missouri just another ballless white man in a suit. He called it a sad turn of events. Carried out by a criminal element. Apparently, I love when the shit goes down in Ferguson. Apparently, nobody's from there. People, you know, I guess these gangbangers are coming from Lewiston, Maine. They're connecting in fucking Idaho to get to the rallies.

Let's not pretend. I know they're not all from ferguson proper but let's not pretend they don't live three feet outside the what a fucking what a town huh imagine living there and being white mama sita um yeah but uh nixon who's the governor did not make any mention of additional security for the rallies that they were you know having the cops said sunday night the gunfire began with two groups of agitators apparently shooting at each other jesus christ what the fuck is going on and uh one man one gunman darted across a parking lot and was confronted by four officers who pulled up in an unmarked vehicle. I think it was a white SUV. And police said the suspect, a guy named Tyrone Harris, could you make it up, then opened fire on the police vehicle.

And then he was badly wounded in the foot chase and an exchange of gunshots with four detectives. He exchanged gunshots with the four detectives. So he's in critical condition. And, of course, his dad said his son didn't have a gun. My son didn't have a gun. No, no, he didn't have a gun. You're right. He had a water balloon and a tuna sandwich.

His father said he was running for his life because someone was shooting at him. So, that guy, Tyrone Harris, charged... Apparently, they looked at the records, St. Louis City Court records,

a man named Tyrone Harris with the same birth date and address as Harris. That would be him. I don't know why they just don't say that in the article. He was out on bail awaiting trial and charges of stealing a motor vehicle, theft of a firearm, and resisting arrest. He was charged with those crimes November 5th of last year and released after posting 30 grand bond on december 19th here's what here's what he did back then according to the officer's statement and the charging document back november 4th harris sped away from detectives and a stolen dodge intrepid until he ran into spikes that the cops set up to stop him he finally came to a stop

he removed a handgun from his waistband and placed it between the seat and the console. Activist groups, meanwhile, said the plainclothes officers who shot Harris should never have been deployed to the scene. Oh, my God. I can't even fucking make it up. Isn't it obvious what's going on? I can't even say it

because I still want to exist. It just isn't working, you know. It isn't working. It's not going to get better. There's a segment of the population who just refuse because of something that happened 400 or 500 years ago to their ancestors, just refuses to, I don't know, play by the rules.

And they're going to fight with every ounce of their being. They're going to fight the system. I don't know. There's nothing you can really do about it. Just hope you don't get caught in the crossfire, I guess. So here we are again. And I'm not ashamed to say this. I don't want to see anybody shot and neighborhoods burned down.

I said this on the show. It makes for great TV, doesn't it? When they were reporting live on that main street in Ferguson, that's better than on the show. It makes for great TV, doesn't it? When they were reporting live on that main street in Ferguson, that's better than any reality show. And again, I know this is... But that's the country we live in. We're media-driven.

We're so media-driven. I sit there. It's the best TV ever. You can't watch a reality show after that. You're going to flip on I Am Kate with her giant fucking tight end mitts. Watched a little of that too. I'm just laughing at where we are as a country.

Bruce Jenner and his transgender friends or whatever. God bless him. Like I said, I hate the, you know. But you couple that with the racial violence and the shootings and the fucking. Just the unrest. It's 1960, isn't it? Oh my goodness gracious. and the shootings and the fucking... Just the unrest. It's 1960, isn't it? Oh, my goodness gracious.

I think I covered it all, right? This is a bonus show for you guys. And again, I thank you for listening to the podcast. I'm hoping it'll get people out to see me live. Speaking of that, come see me Friday, August 21st, the Music Fest Cafe in Bethlehem, PA. It's a Friday night. Then September 17th through the 19th, Laugh Boston in Boston, Mass.

September 25th and 26th, Governors in Levittown. They always come out in Governors. Levittown, Long Island. And then Saturday, October 17th, I'm looking forward to this, a beautiful theater, the Gramercy Theater right here in New York City. And check out themikedown.com. That's the movie and the cop I had in here, the ex-cop.

Like I said, that movie right now is hard to find because of the they changed distributors but it'll be out there again and it's worth your while to see that and march of the penguins too which i finally get around to seeing which was fucking fascinating uh how did i plug that um i think that's it, you know. Rest in peace, my good friend Jack Tracy. Rest in peace, buddy. And my condolences and my thoughts are with Bobby Tracy and her daughter Lynn and my parents. Because they were as close as can be. All right, kids. That's it again.

Thanks for the support. I will talk to you next week. I love you. All right, kids, that's it again. Thanks for the support. I will talk to you next week. I love you. Take it easy. Bye-bye. Excuse me. Excuse me. I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else

I'm not like everybody else Thank you. guitar solo Bye.