The Nick DiPaolo Show - 097 - Tits, Disney, Cop Killaz

Episode Date: September 1, 2015

Tits, Disney, Cop Killaz

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network. Riotcast.com What's up, Rioters? Don't call them that, John. What do you mean, Michelle? We are now on the Riotcast Network, and we need to be more angry and mob-like. Yeah, but it sounds like we're about to burn down a liquor store or something, and I'm just not comfortable with that. Exactly.

This is what these Riot people do, Michelle. They build pickets, they hit the streets, and they're just mad. You know what we're going to do? We're going to do our show, The Video Game Outsiders, right here on the Riotcast Network, live every Tuesday at 9 p.m. Eastern. All right, fine. And then also go to Riotcast.com, and you can subscribe to the podcast. There's a button there somewhere. Just push it.

We talk about video games? Sometimes, maybe. But it's mostly just a bunch of crap. And Michelle, there's also another dude on the show. Hey guys, I'm Matt Bracken. Anyway, Video Game Outsiders live on Rycast. Tuesdays at 9pm. Let's get it on. What up, kids?

Fresh back from Hotlanta, the Laughing Skull. That's where I was. Boy, Atlanta has changed. Jesus. What happened is all the fruitcakes from the northeast have moved down there and made it a very foo-foo, fee-fee city. So different than I've been. I've been going down there since the mid-'90s to play, but it's got that politically correct northeast retarded feel to it. I mean, it's still a great city, though. But, yeah, shows were good it's a small club good place to work out stuff and it's the alternative room which you know and i was working with a few young comics and one of them was a young muslim fella

very these guys very green by the way um and um he was pretty funny his smile and uh some girl feminist who hates men i was told even before i uh she she didn't say a word to me the whole time not once uh anyways so i'm sure they loved my right-wing, free-market, pro-capitalist attitude that I brought into the alternative scene. None of them said boo to me the whole week, unless I talked to them. I don't know. But Saturday Night Second Show, we have to talk about that. The fucking behavior was appalling. If you've got to run a comedy club, you've got to police the room.

You've got to do at least that much. I don't care how alternative it is or whatever. I mean, just drunken, again, drunken tables of drunk broads yelling shit out. And the fucking, it was just, I tell this girl to shut off her phone. This was Friday night. The first four shows were fine. But I told the girl on Friday night to shut off her cell phone. And this other broad goes, she can do anything she fucking wants.

Can you, that's, that's the, that was the fucking mindset. I go, really? She can do anything she fucking wants, huh? You know, I'm attracted to 18-year-old girls. And there's some guys out there who want to fuck kids. Does that apply to them or just to you drunken chicks? You can do anything you want. Fucking, that even stunned me after all these years of dealing with these drunken idiot bimbos.

Why they even come to a comedy club is beyond me. They don't even know what they're getting into. And it wasn't just all girls, but yes, the majority of people who are fucking up the show were drunken girls. They can't handle their liquor. They get big balls. There was one guy in the middle who, you know,

raised his hand, and I can't remember what he was yelling out, but, you know, he was with his girl, and he shut up when I told him to. But just a fucking horror show, Saturday Night Second show. People with cell phones on. That's the other thing. If you're running a club, you've got to make that announcement three times, and you've got to do it with a little oomph. Don't go, and if you could please put your phones on vibrate as not to bother the people no shut off your fucking phones they've been around long enough okay you're gonna fuck the show up

and you're gonna fuck it up for other people that's the language you should use in your little opening announcements okay you gotta stress that because there's a fucking whole generation who thinks that that fucking phone is uh just part of life wherever they are whether it's behind the fucking wheel or in a comedy club i mean or a broadway play you got actors and actresses who've been in show business for a thousand years fucking uh being interrupted in the middle of a play and screaming at people. I mean, fucking grow up, jerk-offs, with your fucking phones. Grow the fuck up.

Jesus H. And again, texting was made for chicks, you know, because the verbal diarrhea, they can't shut up when they're sitting next to each other. And so it's perfect. Now they can type in silence when they're sitting next to each other and uh so it's perfect now they can type in silence while you're trying to entertain them and then get their fucking dirty bloomers in a bunch when you tell them to shut off their phone just fucking sickening man so uh yeah don't even bring them into the club okay and like i said if you're running a club make that fucking clear and uh and and and you know after about the third time somebody starts yelling shit out

they ruin the poor kid's act in front of the the young uh the kid ismael in front of me who's pretty funny uh they were yelling shit out during his jokes and when i heard him going what the fuck's going on in here this is like a you know a mellow kid who's only probably been doing it a few years and i'm like holy shit and the people were just i could tell by their voices they were slurring as they were i mean it was just you can't fucking run it like that guys if you want it to last so i just stood up there for an hour and said shut your mouths you drunken twats shut up that's all it was and people you know what people find that entertaining just you know comedians obliterating drunken assholes we can do that all day folks but that's not what we do it's not why we write material and uh and again and you people listening to the show

your fans mind so you probably already know better um so um but you know that's not why we work on jokes and try to get them right and and and develop a whole act so we can go in and just tell, you know, fucking rip drunken people to shreds in a verbal, uh, war, which people find entertaining. I mean, you know, a couple of people's tweeted, it was so funny. You told people you stood up there, you know, for 45 minutes and just told people to shut the fuck up. And it was hilarious, but it's, it's not hilarious it sucks it sucks um just you know and that's where you gotta have a doorman go over and go shut the fuck up or i'm throwing you out i can't believe you know stand up to an around a thousand years now that just still has to be said and uh it was just the said the second show saturday night was a waste.

But the first four were good and I really liked the club. So, um, just telling you. She can do anything she wants! Well, I guess I can do anything I want. I'm gonna put a fucking cigarette on your fucking tit, you drunken dope.

Ugh. And cigarette on your fucking tits, you drunken dope. And it's just hilarious. And they keep coming back for more. And then, you know, people putting their feet up on stage. It's just fucking, I don't know, wore me down.

It took the fun out of a great week. But Atlanta, yeah, it's like San Francisco East now down there. Sitting on a bench like during the day, watching people walk by. A lot of like, you know, it would be like two muscular guys in tank tops walking a poodle. I saw a lot of that shit. It's so different than the gun racks and all the other shit that i used to

see people chewing you know tobacco when i used to go down um but uh yeah good gig put me up at the w hotel which is fucking awesome and uh within walking then walking this into the club. I come home drunk one night, and the W Hotel, they put, you know, you have a mini bar, but they put all the snacks and shit, like, out on a shelf, not in the bar. Like, right, you know, right next to your TV on the shelf, and, you know. Boy, they make the mini bar menu prices, boy, they make those easy to find, huh? They had them taped behind an armoire under three inches of dust. So I come home drunk like the first night and, I don't know,

had like two bags of goldfish, a bag of pretzels, a jar, a glass jar filled with mini Snickers bars. What else did I eat? I'm like, can't be that much. Drank like two bottles of smart water. Get up the next morning. I find the fucking price menu. It was about $49 worth of literally $11 worth of snack food for 49 bucks.

And we're shitting Cheez-Its for the next three days. But, you know, and I, you know, after after the show i do a couple i have a couple drinks of jack because that's the only way to knock myself out anymore that works pretty good the booze i'm gonna try weed too enough people convince me that weed weed will be the way to go to knock yourself out but uh anyways but uh what the hell else? I've got to give you my dates, I guess, real quick before we get down to bin there. September 17, 18. By the way, this is the last day of August.

Do you believe it? How depressing is that? Christ. September 17, 18 and 19 in boston uh laugh boston uh good club done it before then the following weekend the 25th and 26th of september governors one of my favorite haunts of all time levittown long island uh private gig in dc on octoberrd. You don't have to know about that. Gramercy Theater, October 17th. That should be great.

And Magoobies, November 5, 6, and 7 in Timonium, Maryland. And then Comedy Club of Jacksonville, Florida, November 12, 13, and 14. That's a new one. I always like to go to new places. That's it. The Post is covered with, we have a big problem in New York City, I guess.

Times Square, you know, the idiot mayor, Bloomberg was all right, but one of his fuck-ups was to turn Times Square into a giant place where people could hang out and no longer allow cars and just a pedestrian fucking shithole kind of the urban version of a state fair uh and um and you I mean you've seen this on the national news there's a bunch you know they have characters dressed up like Superman Batman Goofy whatever and you know and they're fucking they get in fights and if people don't tip them they get pissed but now we have a new problem we have, you know, and they're fucking, they're getting fights, and if people don't tip them, they get pissed, but now we have a new problem, we have, you know, body painted girls, you know, girls completely nude, you know, you paint their bodies, and it makes it look like they're actually wearing clothes, and that's a big controversy now, whether women should be able to have their tits out, I guess there was a law, a state law in New York passed in the 90s that said

they could, or whatever the fuck. And it's unbelievable because you know, there's little kids in Times Square and some parents get pissed. They don't want their four-year-old kids seeing a naked woman even if her tits are painted like the German flag or whatever.

Oh, this is the tits song, by the way. Joe Walsh. flag or whatever. So. Oh, this is the tit song, by the way. Joe Walsh. And so women and feminists, obviously, are saying we should be able to hang out

with tits just like men. Completely ignoring the cultural fucking differences and norms and and, you know, go ahead, hang them

out. See what happens. I guess their argument would be, well, well, here's my argument. Guys are raping you when you have your

clothes on. They don't just want to like, know be bare-breasted like in times square to get a few tips and shit they they want to do this everywhere they're like if it was up to the feminists they'd be able to go into a restaurant or anywhere bare-breasted well then do it what's stopping you apparently it's legal in this state quit your fucking yapping and do it let's see what the fallout is you know most of the well and again i'll say this again most of the uh you know feminists the real fucking loons you wouldn't want to fuck them or see their tits you know they look like donna shalala a janet reno or uh know, Kirsten Killebrand, whatever her fucking name is. I've never seen real pretty, pretty ardent feminist, you know.

You don't see strippers complaining, huh? So they want to hang their tits out and blah, blah, blah. And really, so let me get this straight. Again, feminist messages, you don't want to be sexually objectified. You don't want guys staring at your ass and tits. You don't want to be objectified. But now you want to hang them out. So once again, it's the onus is on the guys to what?

Change our DNA? Right? To not be attracted to your tits. And I'm saying, go ahead, do it, let's see what happens, it's the only way to settle these matters, folks, let's see how many women get groped, and they're such, these fucking feminists are such fucking hypocrites, this, they're fucking clueless, they argue so much that they argue into a circle, where they defeat their own arguments, argue so much that they argue in with a circle where they defeat their own arguments so you when you're going out on a date you put on you know you want you put on pumps and show a lot of cleavage

and um you do that when you go out with your girlfriends to attract guys and then if the guys don't even look at you you're offended so you're all fucking confused so to get rid of the confusion just please start going around and again this doesn't apply most women again the feminist twats a small group just like you know most muslims are good but five or seven percent according to uh kurt schilling and we'll get to that in a minute and uh so uh go ahead and as far as painting your tits in Times Square, I don't know. Do you see what all this? It was better, again, in the fucking 80s when Times Square, you could see tits, but it would be a prostitute. I'm trying to figure out the difference between a prostitute and a girl who paints herself.

They do this for tips, by the way. So you take a picture with them and you get to, you know, you're not supposed to touch them, but you rub up against their tits. At least that's what I'd do. But they're looking for a tip. So you're selling your body. I mean, why don't you go all the way? Just, you know, blow the tourist in front of his

kids. What the fuck's the difference? You show me your tits. You know why why because all women deep and down inside they really want to be strippers they really want to be fucking strippers they envy strippers i believe that they wish they had the balls to do that because they love their bodies especially now these chicks are in love with their own bodies fucking selfies that's all they do you go on twitter and check the media out all they do is take pictures of their own ass at the gym and shit oh my god they all want to be strippers deep down trust me that goes for every chick

even the fat club-footed ones with the lazy eyes and ball patches they'd like to get out of there uh so so you're really selling your body even if you're just painting like i said painting your tits so it looks like you have a tank top on aren't you i don't know i don't know but uh go nuts i don't know if it uh if each state is different but go nuts get out there and hang out those tits and see how long it is before somebody uh you know rapes you i mean guys like i said they'll follow you at noontime if you're in a tight skirt and low cut blouse. Can't wait to see what they do when you walk into Starbucks with your fucking bags hanging out. It could get interesting. But do it, girls. Commit. So, yeah. I'm a big tit fan.

Most fellas are. Most straight guys love tits. You know? Really don't give a shit. So, but you can't ignore the culture we live in, you know? This isn't fucking the dark jungles of Africa, you know. They're completely naked and you have to be because it's 119 degrees and you're chasing a fucking zebra through the woods. You don't want to be in a fucking pantsuit, shoes.

But see here, we're different. Kind of civilized. Okay. And it's been deemed inappropriate sorry that's the culture we live in but again i'd like to see more tits but the tits i want to see like i said aren't attached to the rachel maddow's of the world they're attached to the pam anderson of the world and the, you know, Jennifer Andersons and those types. Not Donna Shalala

or any of the creeps at Obama. What is it about the lefty broads that, you know, just frightening looking. Oof. Uh, yeah. yeah the hell else yeah i think uh we're running from the inside out this is a good one today did you read this this guy

top uh the top administrator for the nassau county district attorney's office is a twisted fetishist who wore a chastity belt to work and diapers and a horse tail during sexual foreplay. Hello. I'm Mr. Red. Jeffrey Stein. His estranged wife Carol Mundy Suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder As a result of his sexual antics

She's divorcing him He used to wear an ass plug With a horse tail It was an anal plug with a horse tail attached to it He pretended to be a horse By galloping around the marital residence. But how do you suffer post-traumatic stress disorder? Isn't it funny? We used to hear that. Used to think of people who fought in, you know, Vietnam and Iraq and I, whatever. Veterans of wars. Now, you know, now it's broads whose husbands like to, you know, wear anal plugs with a horse tail hanging out of it.

And this guy was all fucked up. He liked to. Well, depends on your take, I guess. Again, I'm coming at it from a 53 year old straight white fella's point of view but uh uh he favored kinky role-playing that included him dressing like a sissy maid what other what other what what other kind is there the fuck most maids are sissies um and calling himself jessica while kneeling at monday's feet look at there's a picture of him look at jeffrey stein just to fuck are you gonna tell me when you interview a guy like this are you gonna tell me you can't pick up certain clues really he looks crazy as a shithouse rat i know that would be prejudging and you get sued if you said uh i think this guy's into shit but i mean the guy's in a job interview and he's got uh you know he's got feces on both thumbs and he's wearing a hat with a giant dick on it you might want to

fucking listen to this one at other times jeffrey stein pretended to be a cat who used a litter box and cleaned himself and he wanted his wife to walk him on a leash this is the top administrative of the nasa that's long island folks county district attorney's office oh and again miss monday carol monday i mean really at what point i mean you must have dated this guy right you didn't marry him a minute after you met him. So at what point? I mean, after he took a dump on your head or he hung you from a ceiling fan and gave you black coffee and prunes. At what point did you fucking go, this guy's a sick fuck?

Now you get, you know. Again, it's just more evidence we're Rome in the final days. That's all I'm saying. Rotten from the fucking inside out. It's just more evidence we're Rome in the final days. That's all I'm saying. Writing from the fucking inside out. God, I'd like to have my wife wear a butt plug with a horse tail coming out of it while I rode her around the kitchen.

And smacked her on the ass with one of those whipping things. She's probably got one. We have a horse. You know that. So what are they going to do with this guy? The DA's chief administrative officer and a prominent Long Island Democrat engaged in predatory and extreme depraved

antisocial sexual conduct so egregious it shows a blatant disregard for the marital relationship that it shocks the conscience, the paper says. Fucking weirdo. How about that? Sorry for the strong language. I know, I know. God, he's just creepy looking.

So funny. But I guess you can't... I'm not supposed to judge this type of behavior. Right? I'm not supposed to judge anybody. He can do whatever he wants. Like, again, yeah,

like 18-year-old girls in cheerleading outfits. Let me at him. It's a problem. Nobody judges anybody's behavior anymore. And this is where it's brought us to what the fuck hell since i talked to you kids last uh more cop killing huh that's the other thing yeah since i was gone there were a couple more i can't i can't even keep up with them now last friday night

remember we had the uh deputy darren goforth it's a texas deputy who was filling his gas tank on a friday night and um he was shot some he's a white cop black guy comes up, shoots him. That's not enough. Then stands over him and shoots him some more. And, well, they got him. Suspect identified as Shannon J. Miles. His criminal history includes convictions of resisting arrest, trespassing, disorderly conduct with a firearm, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What a cowardly piece of shit.

But here's what kills me. I read these stories. And in every story, whether it's on TV or in the paper, the moaning and the shooting is still unclear. Is it really? Well, you sure,

you sure came up with a motive when the white kid shot up nine poor black people in the church in South Carolina. The motive was hate, racism. So what's the fucking big mystery here? He's a black racist. There's a term, again, you never hear outside of this show. He's a racist racist there's a term again you never hear outside of this show he's a racist piece of shit and what happens is guys like this that are on the edge and ignorant and probably has the iq of a fucking avocado um they're still bright enough to watch the news and and pick up on the zeitgeist in this country at this time um of you know cops are evil and shit because three cops a

year uh you know three bad cops a year get busted uh for shooting unarmed black men and uh and and somehow the media picks those stories and runs them on a loop so you get the impression that that's going on everywhere and then psychos like this fucking ingest that. And this is the end result. And it's just the times we're living in under a shithead in the White House. He's created this fucking climate. He's fomented it. And, you know, he's a fucking radical.

I don't hear him speaking out either after these cops are shot. He's too busy in Alaska this week. But, you know, open season on cops. He's the 23rd or 24th cop killed this year. It's open season. This is like the fucking 60s, you know? That's the climate. And it's such bullshit. Black Lives Matter. It's all fucking predicated on horse shit on that killing in Ferguson, which was justified. We already talked about it. But how even Eric Holder couldn't hide the truth, how the cop was justified in killing that thug. And that's Black Lives Matter came out.

That whole protest group came out based on that big fucking lie. And they're still, they were out in Minneapolis shooting their fucking mouths off. And, but they got this guy. And there was another one. There was another, well, I was gone, I think, since the last time I talked to you. I don't even know what the race in this situation was. But some guy, I think it was Texas again. I don't know. He the race in this situation was. But some guy, I think it was Texas again. I don't know.

He stabbed a couple people at home. Then he boarded himself in a gas station, and there was a shootout. And he killed a cop. And then three weeks ago, you had that cop down in Louisiana, saw a Jeep in a ditch, and went to investigate. And the guy, and that was a white guy who looked like a psychopath, opened fire on him, killing him. It's unbelievable what the fuck's going on.

And it's all because we're too conservative, right, kids? Yeah. That's what it is. I'll tell you the only guy that understands it. I'd vote for this guy for president tomorrow. He really should think about running for some office, but you know what I'm talking about. And I've played clips of him many times,

but he's so right on the money with this shit. He's an African-American sheriff out of Milwaukee. Sheriff Clark. David Clark, I believe. And he was commenting on just what I was talking about. Let's listen to Sheriff Clark. He should run for something. Seriously. Judge, I am too pissed off tonight to be diplomatic about what's going on,

and I'm not going to stick my head in the sand about it. I said last December the war had been declared on the American police officer led by some high profile people, one of them coming out of the White House, one coming out of the United States Department of Justice. And it's open season right now. He's talking about Holder when he was there. And Obama, I guess. He says, come out of the White House. So, I mean, who the hell else? But what the fuck's going on, really?

Oy, oy, oy. So they got that scumbag. And yet this stupid Black Lives Matter protesting. Like an hour after that cop got shot at the gas station, they were protesting somewhere else. Again, based on a lie, but that doesn't matter because it's their religion. What a fucking nightmare. Hang that fucking jerk off by his balls. Hang that fucking jerk off by his balls.

I'm surprised. Most of these guys, you look at their arrest, their rap sheets, two miles long. We should start there, you know. But disorderly conduct with a firearm, but he's out there. Imagine walking up and just shooting a... Fuck. And, uh... Yeah, so how many is that in the last couple weeks?

What the fuck? There's nobody right-wing out there enough for me to take over the old office. Fucking Pat Buchanan. Like I said, my ticket would be Giuliani and Pat Buchanan. That's my dream ticket. Maybe Mussolini,

but we can't get to his car. Can't keep up with the killings. What else? Oh, here's another i can't keep up with the killings what else uh oh here's another example of left-wing fascism what the fuck's going on in college campuses it's unbelievable professor professors plural threatened bad grades for saying get this professors are threatening the students. They said they're going to give them bad grades for saying illegal alien in words like male, female.

Multiple professors at Washington State University have explicitly told students their grades will suffer if they use terms such as illegal alien, male and female, or if they fail to defer to non-white students. According to the syllabus for Selena Lester Breaks, B-R-E-I-K-S-S, if you want to attack her online, feel free to do so. Go to her Twitter and fucking just go nuts. Go nuts. Shame her. She teaches women in pop culture. And says students risk a failing grade if they use common descriptors that Breit considers oppressive and hateful language. Let's listen to some of her lectures.

Well said, you fucking cunt. The punishment for repeatedly using the banned words includes, but is not limited to removal from the class. Do you fucking believe this? And where are you students? Why don't you fucking, why don't you confront her? And go, go ahead. I dare you to fucking throw me out.

I'll sue your fucking leftist ass, you twat. go ahead. I dare you to fucking throw me out. I'll sue your fucking leftist ass, you twat. It's not limited to the removal from the class without attendance or participation points, failure of the assignment in extreme cases, failure for the semester. She'll fail you for the semester if she doesn't like the language you're using. Are you fucking shitting me? And hey, Larry Wilmore, you dope. I did his stupid dopey show, and all his fucking fans attacked me on Twitter for weeks. This is what I was talking about, assholes. It comes from college campuses, which we all know are a bastion of conservatism, right?

Fucking scumbags. She's not the only one implementing such policies at Washington State University. There's another one. Professor Rebecca Fowlers. she's not the only one implementing such policies at washington state university there's another one professor rebecca fowlers uh she teaches introduction to comparative ethnic studies listen to the titles just dripping and liberal fucking horseshit uh she's the one who says uh her students will see their grades suffer if they use the term illegal alien in their assigned writing according to her syllabus students will see their grades suffer if they use the term illegal alien in their assigned writing. According to her syllabus, students will lose one point every time they use the words illegal alien or illegals rather than the preferred terms of undocumented migrants, immigrants, slash persons. Throughout the course, Fowler says students will come to recognize how white privilege functions in everyday social structures and institutions.

Can you fucking imagine she doesn't even see the irony that she's trying to shut people's speech down it's it's full circle especially on college campuses you you go literally the purpose for a college is to share ideas and and and you know and and argue points it's un-fucking-believable it's just so how come nobody's suing these dumb bitches i don't even know what their color are by the way these professors i don't even i don't you don't have to know well with that mentality it doesn't matter probably white i'm laughing at those white people those white kids out there too protesting with black lives matter how funny is that fucking idiots they are if all the shit went down tomorrow

their throats would be cut first because uh they're within geographical proximity of these idiots here's another professor at the same again washington state university i'm talking about uh white students and professor John Stremers. Introduction to multicultural literature. Just listen to the titles of this fucking horse shit. Do you have to take these? I'm guessing they're mandatory. Listen to this.

In his class, the students are expected to defer to non-white students, among other community guidelines, if they want to do well in the class. Really? Well, I kind of did that. I used to sit next to, like I said, Asian kids and try to cheat off them. So he'd probably, you know, I'd get caught.

I wish he was teaching my class back then. No, I'm deferring to him. I'm deferring to the Chinese kid next to me during my calculus test he knows better uh his this professor streamers who previously generated controversy by calling a student a white shit bag this is a professor he called a student a white shit bag you guys didn't hear about that story did you the mainstream media didn't pick up on that one you think of a white professor called a uh black kid a black shit bag you think you might have heard about heard it on cnn or uh it's fucking cnn i hate him worse than msnbc i've said it before um you think you'd heard it on nbc nightly news less to halt with an open with that fucking story

less to halt with an open with that fucking story stream us uh yeah he called the student a white shitbag and declared that wsu should stand for white supremacist university who hired this fucking dickhead cheese dick sucker of satan's cock who fucking hired this fucking asshole huh that's where we should start larry wilmore you're gonna to cover some of these stories on your little show that'll be canceled soon because you're a fucking crushing bore um several other uh wsu professors require that several other there's more this is going on at washington state university i'll repeat it. Several other professors require their students to acknowledge that racism, classism, sexism, heterosexism, and other institutionalized forms of oppression exist. Or that we do not live in a post-racial world if they don't admit to that.

They require, the words require are in bold letters. Several professors require their students. When they say their students, obviously they're talking about white, heterosexual males. So you do, it's, you know, deductive reasoning. Racism, so obviously they're talking about white people. Sexism, you're not talking about women, obviously. Heterosexism, you're not talking about women, obviously, heterosexism, you're not talking about gay fellas, right? So again, it's all designed to go after the white heterosexual male,

all this politically correct fucking horse shit, and why these students don't set these teachers' cars on fire or follow them home where they live and scare the fucking bejesus out of them. How about that? What's it taking? Why would you go to these schools after here just reading the curriculum why the fuck would you go there we live in the you know we live in a world of computers now you just go on and go

teach yourself online be an autodidactic as they say self-educated. Unbelievable, huh? It is notable that one of the syllabus provisions warns, and this is the warning, the subject material of this class is sensitive and controversial.

Strive to keep an open mind. That's what it says on these syllabuses. Can you fucking imagine? Then they tell you you'll be thrown out of class or get shit grades if you don't agree

with what it says. Do you see how I mean it's fucking hilarious. I mean that's irony defined. No contradictions here, huh? I need somebody out there to help me organize a college tour. They're not going to let me on campus, obviously, with my act.

But if there's somebody out there that can find a venue, let's say 12 feet outside the campus boundaries, and we'll just build the show you know uh band from campus tour with nick dipolo and you come out and you can see actual um truths being spoken and have some fucking great laughs i mean like the show in atlanta there was a black couple to my left um it was great there was a couple gay guys right in the front who were hilarious they were like they look like they're my age i can't tell anymore but uh they're like my age or a little younger maybe but the guy

had his arm around his boyfriend and i was busting their balls and he can't i said did you know who you were coming to see tonight and he goes absolutely and the fucking guy was hilarious he he gets up he comes back with a drink he gives his you know the people at his table drinks and he goes to hand it to me and i'm like no i'm all set because at that point i had a couple and he's like you're gonna drink it goddamn like paul you're gonna drink the drink and uh everybody's laughing. And there was a couple, a young Asian kid with a smoking hot white broad. I mean, just and you know what? Nobody, nobody was having a problem with what I was saying. And I really believe that that would be the case if, you know, I could get my shit together and organize a national anti-college comedy tour.

Somebody will hear this and do it before me, I'm sure. But, you know, I saw a couple people when I was talking about certain things get up, but you can't tell. They came back, so maybe they were just taking a piss, but sometimes they don't come back, and you're like He hit a nerve there

But do you believe I can't believe What I'm reading here About what's going on At college campuses How the fuck Do you people Again

You people And it's not all people Who vote Democrat Who agree with this Obviously But it's what the Democratic Party Stands for

They're so far Fucking left now How can you Fucking vote For anybody from that side? I don't fucking get it. It's crazy what's going on at college campuses. Why do you get to define what's hateful and what's racist? That Martin O'Malley, that guy makes me sick to my stomach.

Anybody who keeps using what's coming from the right is hateful, and that's the one that makes me fucking crazy, because they apply it to everything now. Anytime you disagree with anything, it's considered hate or bigotry. You don't get to define that, motherfuckers. And if you do, start calling minorities who are killing cops that all lives all lives matter um white ones and black ones martin o'malley what a big girl what a big girl republicans if you can't win this next election you fucking quit. Hang it up. Because look what's your competition on the left.

That fat pantsuited pig face fucking self-entitled insincere twat Hillary Clinton. I mean, if she was a fucking guy, she'd be in jail by now. But she has a clit, so she's still in the race. I think she has a clit. Probably dick and balls, a little of both. Should do a reality show about her called I Am Cunt. Who else? Bernie Sanders.

It infuriates me that a socialist is getting this much traction, even though he's never going to fucking win. What does that say about the fucking Democratic Party? me that a socialist is getting this much traction even though he's never gonna fucking win what does that say about the fucking democratic party he's a he's yes he's a socialist but he says he's a democratic socialist and caucuses with the democrats so i'll throw him in your category um the fact that he's even he's sneaking up on hillary what does that say about hillary a fucking self-admitted socialist who else then you get biden thinking about it i mean christ's sake we've been making fun of him for years but do you know we don't consider him a racist even though he said about

obama while he was running that he's clean and articulate he said when obama first started to run for president he's fucking clean and articulate he actually said that he's not gonna get in biden's uh i don't think he is although you know you know, I mean, what's stopping him and Elizabeth Warren? They would be more of a, you know, a threat to whoever the Republican nominee is than Hillary. I still say she's not going to make it. And who else is running over there? Fucking Martin O'Malley.

He is everything that's wrong with America. Same with Bernie Sanders. 18 trillion in debt or whatever the fuck. But yeah, everybody should go to college for free. And we're fucking dopes. With fucking dopes I'm Mr. Ed A horse is a horse of course Of course you got an anal plug in your ass

I take a dump on my wife's face You got an anal plug in your ass. Of course that is. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course.

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Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of course. Of What the hell else, kids? In this world that's being taken over by a fascist leftist fucks. Jeffrey Stein. I guess while I was away. Oh, it happened like six days ago. I don't know. I can't keep track of fucking time but uh kurt schilling tweeted something about uh you know muslims comparing them you know

only like a small percentage of muslims are you know extremists but he said yeah uh and you know nazis only made up 7% of that party. So how's that working? And whatever the fuck. And he accompanied it with a picture. Anyways, why he would think he could get away with that, working for ESPN, owned by Disney, who is the biggest exporter of political correctness and liberal horseshit that I can't even watch Sunday Night Baseball anymore or around the fucking horn with uh racist Bomani Jones and

racist uh Kevin Blackstone and um Mike Wilbon they all try to hide their hate for white people and uh on those shows I was watching a few months back before I stopped watching it I was watching around the horn and Bomani Jones they They were talking about institutional racism. And he said something to the, and again, I'm paraphrasing something to the fact, oh, to say that America has institutional racism is like saying that the sun is hot. And Anthony Reale, the host, gave him a couple of points for saying that. That's how fucking, Disney is the worst. They have to be fucking destroyed. That's how fucking Disney is the worst. They have to be fucking destroyed.

You ever watch cartoons meant for little kids? Oh, it's just hilarious. It's just unbelievable how unfunny and just lacking of any warmth or humor. It's like it's indoctrination. It's just fucking. And anybody, and I know you you guys a lot of fans have already sworn off espm for their politically correct horseshit yeah keep giving us more soccer scores on that crawl at the bottom yeah that's again keep giving us those because we're sitting on pins and needles we're all dying to know how fucking uh manchester united did fucking Manchester United did. Give us some more WNBA scores

because those are important. Just to fucking... Anyways, Schilling, who I'm not a huge fan of when it comes to being a commentator because he doesn't shut up ever. Neither does John Kruk. And again, I love these guys as ballplayers,

both of them. But ESPN, they don't ESPN I guess they don't train they just throw these jocks on the air they don't shut up for five fucking minutes I thought it was just Joe Morgan and John Miller I used to turn the sound down to watch Sunday Night Baseball because those two

I'm like oh my god I can't believe how bad and Kruk and Schilling analyze every pitch for 20 minutes and again i love these guys you know as fucking athletes but uh anyway so you know fascist espn owned by disney immediately gave shilling the boot suspended him and um you know for the game uh again whether you agree or disagree with his with his comments, that's not the point. The point is he should be able to say it

and take the fucking wrath. You know what I mean? But then when you read the stories, you read all the stories online, and they all go, he was suspended for making racist comments about Muslims. No, he's talking about a small segment of extremists is what he was talking about.

But every fucking article you read, that's how you know the left have their claws into the internet too. No matter what you're, from making racist comments about Muslims. No, that wasn't,

that wasn't the fucking case at all. But good old ESPN. Exactly. Exactly. exactly exactly um so they you know they gave him the boot and it was a it was a it was a politically correct disney wet dream um a two-for-one-er because they got to gave that white fella kurt schilling a boot for his comments and replace him on this Sunday night's broadcast with Jessica Mendoza. Yeah. Well, she's qualified because she played softball, I think, in college. She was quite a softball player. And it's perfect.

She's female. She's a minority. She's an athlete. What better way? What better way to say we stand for everything that's good in the world than by replacing Schilling who's probably actually German um yeah she played uh she was she was an accomplished softball player at Stanford University. Played in the College World Series before playing for the U.S. Women's National Team. In 2001 to 2010, winning an Olympic gold medal in Athens.

So she should be the obvious choice for a place shilling, right? Because there aren't any ex-pro baseball players who would love that job, right? There aren't any guys out there who played MLB and struggled, even guys that struggled in the minors for you, that know more about baseball than she has forgotten. I should say they've forgotten more about baseball than she knows. Right?

But see, it's a wet dream. And then you got these two guys after, you know, Dave O'Brien and Dallas Braden. I guess she filled in on a Monday night game. A while back or whatever. I don't know. You get the fucking point. You get the point. It used to be a meritocracy

you had to know something you had to be qualified now you get tits and again no slight against you Miss Mendoza but you should be commenting on professional softball leagues

in a perfect world in my humble opinion. Fucking ESPN. Yeah. It just says, Kurt Schilling benched by ESPN after comparing Muslims to Nazis. That's not what he did, actually. It's beautiful. Let's keep the lie a lie.

Here's a statement from ESPN. Kurt's tweet was completely unacceptable and in no way represents our company's perspective. What is your perspective? What is your company's perspective? Why don't you state that? So they can't even, they would never. We made that point very strongly to Curt

and have removed him from his current Little League assignment. Oh my God, he must have been furious. Pending further consideration. Can you imagine? Disney setting the tone. Fucking evil. They have evil.

Anyways. Little League World Series. Huh huh you guys watch it i tune in for like the last three or four games you know well there's a team from lewisbury am i saying that pennsylvania uh they play the japanese team for the championship and these japanese kids they i read somewhere they they put up no they during the telecast they put up the the practice schedule for the japanese little league team and it's it reminded me of uh you know back in the 80s when the usa played russia and that was like a national team and those guys lived together in Russia. You know, that's what they did. They played year-round hockey as opposed to these college kids that ended up beating them.

But they put up the Japanese Little League schedule, their practices. They, like, take hitting from 9 to 11 and then situational fielding from 11 to 2. And then, you know, lunch, an hour for lunch, and then another three hours of whatever bunting. I mean, and it just shows. I mean, they are so fundamentally sound and just beating us at our own game. And these kids from Pennsylvania, I mean, they hit way more homers than anybody in the whole tournament, I guess. That's what they were known for.

They hit way more homers than anybody in the whole tournament, I guess. That's what they were known for. And they were up in the final game, first inning. Japanese get two runs at the top of the first, 2-0. And then a team from Pennsylvania gets 10 runs, 10-2. And you're like, oh, here we go. And then, like two innings later, it's 10-9. The Japanese, who weren't known to hit home runs, these little kids, hit like five homers. And they were just so, they weren't even, you could tell their confidence wasn't shaking one bit.

And they just ended up winning 18-10. Ended up slaughtering this team from Pennsylvania. And it was just so funny how fundamentally sound these kids were. And how great they were at a game that, you know, ironically, an American game. But it was fun to watch these kids, man. And, you know, the kid on the mound starts crying for the Pennsylvania team. And at that point, there was still a couple innings left, and his coach comes out and he goes, what are you doing?

You look scared, i which i liked but uh and you should just hear the broadcast so politically correct uh when you're watching and i know you're not gonna judge these kids the same way you do if you're watching a pro game but it's just even when they fuck up the announcers feel the need to go well he gave it a he gave it his best effort and um it just, you know, it's just, come on. They can handle it, you know. Somebody was swinging a bad pitch. Well, you can't blame the kids throwing 71 miles. No, just say the kid, what was he swinging at that for?

God forbid. You'll get canned from ESPN if you do that. Yeah, that was on ABC, by the way, which also Disney, I believe. Yeah, it's just a world of political correctness gone freaking mad. But I do get hope. I do get hope, like I said, when I do these gigs. Because for the most part, yeah, some people aren't going to like what I i'm saying on stage but it's not that political to begin with anyways but i'm just saying but that saturday night show where it was just a free-for-all and i couldn't do material i you know i was saying heinous shit

that deserved to be said and people found it funny and like i said we had, you couldn't have set it up better. Like I said, you had this Muslim kid on before me and some woman who hadn't been doing it that long. And, you know, it was like teeing it up for me. And then the gay guys in the front and a black couple. Another Asian kid with his beautiful girlfriend, and it was, you know, nobody's feelings were getting hurt, I was letting it fucking fly, and I know you're going, well, that's in, you've got to take that into context, you're in a comedy club, but yeah, that's the only place left, I don't know for how much longer you know but it happens all the time with comics uh somebody in the audience has their phone on and records something and puts it out there they could you

know ruin them there's kids out there to do that and we all know how they vote um little fascist fucks but uh it still gives me hope. And I know there's college-age kids out there who have had enough themselves. That's why I think there could be some potential in doing an anti-college comedy tour. You know what I'm saying? Sure you do. I think that's about it.

That's all that's on my mind. Got my annual comedian's cookout week from today, Labor Day. And that should be a blast. Watched, oh, what else? Oh, real quick, Red Sox Mets. I have to mention that. My Red Sox, it's so funny, man, because they were horrendous for the first half of the year. And a couple weeks ago, John Farrell, the manager, gets diagnosed with cancer. So he's away from the team. And I swear to God, from that game on, all these young guys that we've been hearing about all year that was supposed to be so great who stunk the first half of the year they're they're doing they're going above and beyond what we were told they could do jackie bradley jr all of a sudden this guy is a monster hitting for power and everybody knows

he's like the greatest fielder ever and and all these young guys even joe kelly the pitcher has won six games i think this month he has stunk the first half of the year. He's the only, now he's the only Red Sox pitcher other than Pedro Martinez to go 6-0 in the month of August or whatever. And he's got like a 2.97 ERA. And they're hitting the shit out of the ball. And Big Papi is swinging like he's 22 years old. But all the young guys, like I said, all these young guys, I guess it takes that long. It takes a whole season, but, you know, you don't just come up to the bigs and turn it on. There's very few guys other than, you know,

the Mike Trouts of the exceptions that have ruled. But they should be, the Sox should be goddamn scary next year. They look like a whole different team now. Again, they've only got 60 wins, but these young guys are just blowing me away. Xander Bogarts, he's going to be a perennial all-star for as long as he plays. Guys as good as shortstop, and he's a 315 hitter right now. I mean, again, barring injury and whatever the fuck. But anyways, I have some optimism as far as the Sox next year. They actually put the wild card game,

they're like seven and a half back, but they have to leap over like six teams in front of them. But, you know, it's very weird. And I'm not saying, John Farrell, he's a great manager, but I'm just saying it's weird. They look more relaxed or looser maybe. Or like I said, it's just a combination of six playing baseball for, you know, since April that these young kids are starting to show their true talent.

So, anyways. Anyways. That's Schilling being yelled at. Honchos at ESPN. That is it. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? I don't know, man. I don't know man I don't know I don't know

That's it I will come see me like I said If you're in the Boston area next month At Lap Boston or Levittown Long Island Governors Should be great. I'll talk to you guys soon, huh? I won't take all that they hand me down And make out a smile though I wear a frown

And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else. I'm not like everybody else. I'm not like everybody else. I'm not like everybody else. And I don't want to live my life like everybody else. And I don't want to be destroyed like everybody else

And I don't want to get... guitar solo I'm out.