The Nick DiPaolo Show - 100 Million Americans ID's Hacked | The Nick DiPaolo Show #1948

Episode Date: September 3, 2026

In today's episode Nick talks about Hochul Bends Knee To Muslims, Jelly Roll Update, Tranny Racer Wins Again, Wheel of Misfortune, A Double Bogey and America Hacked! WATCH THE FULL SHOW LIVE & FREE at 6pm ET only on Rumble! https://rumble.com/thenickdipaoloshow/ TOUR DATES, SOCIALS, PERSONAL VIDEOS, STREAM ALL MY COMEDY SPECIALS! https://www.nickdip.com/ MERCH - GRAB A MUG, TSHIRT, HOODIE, STICKERS AND MORE! https://shop.nickdip.com/

You're my brother. Don't ever go. No, actually, it's a funeral speech. You're nothing to me now. Not a brother. You're not a candlestick maker. You're not a gardener. You're not a roofer. When you want to see our mother,

I want to know 24 hours in advance. And quit sucking dick, well you? Hey, folks. Welcome to the show. You know, are you watching some other platform? Something about that. And you can think. That's how I feel today.

If you're watching on some other platform, every fucking six months they give me some garbage to read. That'll be old in a week. On some other platform, you want to watch the full show, and apparently you are. The numbers are good. I've got to say, they're fucking good lately. You want to watch a full show.

Just click the link in the description right now. A full episode of my show, always streaming live at 6 p.m. Free on Rumble. And if you want it, ad-free, you join something called Rumble Premium. Sort of like PBR. It's a blue ribbon.

I'm saying there. Okay, Frank. Good a bus. Today I'm going to be talking about a huckle sucking Muslim ass. What's new in New York? Can you imagine 25-year anniversary of 3,000 people

getting slaughtered by these cock-socks? Well, Nick, Mondami's not... What the fuck are you talking about? You think Muslims can come in and take over? They've been doing this for thousands of years. Even the ones that are playing Trump in this fucking, you think they don't

know what they're doing? They can't come in and go, we're here to kill you. They do it slowly with the backing of, again, four people who run the world. It's as old as the fucking planet itself. Can you imagine if you lost some family members in that fucking

9-11? And there's your cunt of a fucking governor wearing a hijab? Oh, there's Those are the regular. Suck another fucking... What's that sandwich? Middle East to fucking Peter and Camel nuts.

Anyways, we'll talk about another tranny beating girls in sports. I don't think anything's changed. Does Trump realize nobody's listening? The guy from Wheel of Fortune, not the, you know, the announcer, who nobody gives a fuck about. Anyways, he got in trouble on a plane,

and it's all coming out now, but nobody knows why. That's another thing. If it happened to you or me, it will be fucking out there in a second. Apparently, he knows somebody. And a couple of guys who started this golf, I don't even know what it is, internet company, with, you know, millions of golfers, like, you know, they love the website, whatever they fucking, anyways, they got in trouble for a funny ad they made a while ago.

So, Wokeness is still alive. And my opinion, Red Sox sucked a bag of fucking cheese last night against the Marin. is they're coming back to Earth a little bit. They've lost six out of, I don't know, five out of eight or six out of eight. But, I mean, it, you can't be soaring to the moan the whole season. And I can just feel the managers sort of just playing it like,

let's test these young guys for the, when I say young, I'm on my third level of young guys with this team. It is the fuck. Anyway, you're just sick of hair and it, so I'm on. What else? I got to get back to my book writing. Mother fucking, I'm very jittery today, folks. Oh, yeah, my, remember I thought I was, maybe I mentioned this, I thought I was going for the, the post today.

Did I mention that yesterday? It's not the post. It's hockey sticks, actual wood they put in it, and they hang out over the, no, yeah, they're going to stick a camera, and I take another look. My fucking, if I wanted to have kids, I couldn't. Between dentists and, I've had more fucking x-rays. It's incredible. Glow in the Dark right now. I don't think that's a good sign. Yeah, I've got to get back to fucking hitting the book. I keep writing down notes.

Here's when I jotted down on the way here, which I think I might have mentioned on the show. And it's true when I was living in Westchester County, you know, my beautiful house in New York. You know, at the end of a dirt road when we had one house next to us. I was out there raking or something. And when I sing songs, I have my headphones on. And I like to add the word, Neiger to the songs. You know, I mean, another nigger bites a dust.

And I'm doing that while I got my head and I'm raking. And I look over and my neighbors like this. Fucking neighbor's like where you are. And he was doing the same thing as me. He's like leaning on his rake with a smirk. But that wasn't the song. It fits so good. So I got to put that in there somewhere.

And I don't know. He didn't seem to me. I knew his politics. But he was from like a different part of the country, a different part of the world, Eastern Europe or some shit. So he hated him for a different reason. I just feel them.

Again, they're not all bad. Like I said, they're not all bad. If we can just find the final four and catch them and catch them. crime and then we can say it. They're all. That's right. Four stands between us and freedom. That's brilliant. That's very Nick to follow. That has to go somewhere. I'll tell you where. And the dumpster at ABC. What? What else did I write in here? Oh, I can't say all black people. Girls shit. The question mark. I don't know about that.

Oh, come on. Where the fucking New ones. Oh, singing get caught. I already had that. Sorry, folks. I'm ready to punch myself in the face. I can't stand today. I can't wait to go to bed already.

Have you had a day like that? Whatever. Buckhead. Notes. Oh, my God. The same shit keeps coming up. Suck a dick. Anyhow.

Anyways, yes. Got plenty of angry. I got to get it out. Oh, by the way, I don't know. We don't have this up yet, but I think, they haven't given it yet. I got to, we confirm the date, October 8th,

hyenas in Dallas. And not in Dallas's ass. See, he's disappointed like everybody else in the comedy world. Yeah, hyenas in Dallas, October. That's not this time when I go out to do a crowd of it, next month. So it'll be my first time, folks.

It'll be like virgin territory for me. 11 months without being on stage. So go easy on me. Anyhow, I don't know what the fuck is left. Dallas, didn't you say something about your kid getting kidnapped? No? Try to make up a story. Anywho, any he.

Let's get to it. The weekend awaits. Kind of nice, isn't it, Dallas? because it's kind of really college football's kicking into fucking high gear there and between that and my rent socks and there's one other thing. What was it? I don't even remember. Oh yeah, Dancing with the Stars Finals. Never seen the show, not even a minute of it.

I'll jerk off to the commercials because I've never seen a badass or legs on those women. Oh, my fucking. These girls have asses like 14-year-old black boys. really firm and up high. Let's get to it. Huckle, a hokel, the hoax kissing Muslim ass. The governor in New York is lashing out at the president and accusing him of Islamophobia.

You guys ever get sick of the words you made up? After he criticized, blah, blah, blah, whatever. She did that while wearing a hijab. Oh, he was taking a shot at her for wearing the hijab. I hit the button. and how's that? At a Muslim event, what was it, a stoning of a 12-year-old girl

for showing some ankle? Democrat Governor Kathy, fucking yeast infection on Pumps Hockel, wrapped up like a burn victim, like the rest of those fucking third world douchebags, spoke at the Islamic Cultural Center of New York on Friday

in video from the event showed her covering her head in observance with traditional Islamic customs. You know, the customs, the Islamic customs. As you know, she's a lefty and a lib, so she's all for women's rights. So who better to get next to than Islamic customs where they make women cover their fuck? Right there, you stupid cunt. Right there, you dumb bitch.

You're showing how ignorant you are. The many of you got in there, they said, do this. Put a hat on. Okay. Do I have to wear this when I go to the 9-11? thing next week when they asked me to leave? Let me get a picture of this to remind all the people, all the victims, families out there from 9-11, all 3,000 of them, that who did what to who? You hoo-ah. Anyways, let's listen to this pump.

To thank him for all the only making you feel part of the family to come out and all the other executives for this organization. One thing we're ahead of that at fucking, culture on his audio building a building with fucking I hate I hate chew, chew, do, do, do, do. Let's kill all the

two, do, do, do, do. Look at her. Ooh, I can, I won't. I'll just say this. You need to shut the fuck up. Not me, that douche. President Trump mocked Hokel Tuesday in a post on true social, because he is the best president.

Kathy Hokel considered the worst governor in the country and a recent picture working hard to get the Arab vote. Even though they can't stand her, he wrote. I miss my dirka. Fucking fuck you. Anyways, the governor lashed out at the president. I got a better one that derker. It's like circus music at the end.

What a catchy tune. I like the flip side too. Fucking labor lips. The governor last out. at the president and his supporters in response. Don't lash out at us. See, here's the difference. Trump never goes. You ever notice that? Trump never goes.

All you Democrat people who voted your assholes and right. He never does that. He goes after I was a guest, she said, in a Muslim House of Worship. Number one, it shouldn't be here. And showed respect for the people who welcomed me. That used to be standard in this country before you

came along. Oh my God. Please get breast cancer tonight. I'll never apologize for treating, this show is very harsh, by the way. Do you conservatives have a problem with it? You know, the real ones that are bothered by language? I don't know what to tell you. I'm in a mood.

And this is sometimes how I go on stage. And people who actually appreciate it. Because art's supposed to be cathartic. You're supposed to get it off your fucking chest. I don't hide it. We also have the First Amendment. Yes, what's that? Do you understand?

I bring what mood I'm in onto the state. What you're supposed to be? Because you're not supposed to go up there and do an, I don't think. You're supposed to open yourself up. What's in all? But nobody, you show me a comedian today who's filling stadiums and sending tickets, and none of them do that. Who's bitter?

Not me. Anyways, I've got to pick my wife up. at the shelter. No matter how Islam... She's calling Trump Islamophobic and you're an Aebel Azar. Do you understand folks how retired it is for her

to be standing in that fucking building? I'm with the people who throw quares off a balcony. Fourteenth floor. Yay! Oh, those are the different... No, no. No, no, no.

Read the Quran. I don't. I bought the Koran for idiots. Did they have that? I think I just came up with a... Maybe I'll write it. Oh, boy. More money. Islam for idiots. Just me fucking making up. Hey, folks, November 5th, if you want to hear more of this jolly talk, go to the punchline in Atlanta.

Then the next night, if you really love me, follow me to Philly, to Rivers Casino. I've been all over the world playing, doing jokes. never even heard of the river. It must be something, because I told you, my niece saw my face on a billboard outside of Philly. She said it had shit all over. Somebody threw poo-poo. November 7th, I'll be at Soul Joles the next night, the Potsdam, PA. Go to Nick Dip.com to get tickets before they are sold out.

And again, Dallas, October 8th at Hyenas, so don't forget that one. Also, when you're at Nick Dip.com, if you want to support this show, best way to do it is to go to the merchant. page and buy the Nick DePaulo flip flops and ear plugs. Hey, fix it and works. I'm giving them fix it in a plug. That's how old I am. You know, they go, hey, do you want the senior discount? I punch them right in the face.

Great clips. I go, how'd you like this? I go, how'd you like the fucking senior discount? Then I hit him with my cane. Also, I want to send a personalized video to someone so I can say what you're thinking and you won't get in trouble. Book that at shoutout. Dot us.

You heard me. Shout out dot us. Okay? That's what I say. Red Sox at Baltimore tonight. They've played... How about this? They had to play 15 games and 14 nights or something

because they had a doubleheading. Oof. That is a pretty grueling year, man. I used to fly, like I said, I used to fly. When I was young and doing the road, I might do 30 weeks, and that was a lot. But these fuckers, boy. But you know what?

They weren't getting paid. Back then, what was like getting paid? $4,000 for the fucking weekend or something. Now it's $4,100. Anyways. Let's go to Jelly Roll Update. We talked about jelly roll. I couldn't even name one of his songs, folks.

I just know from CNN and up before this all started happening, before he hosted Jimmy Kimmel, I just liked a guy who, like I said, he was in prison for a few years and it was a drug dealer and he turned himself around and you gotta admire that. I don't care how you feel about his fucking musical.

He's got millions of fans, or he did, till Jimmy Kimmel, who once again, like most left this, everything he touches turns to shit. I'm curious why he's taking the whole summer off, you know? I like to know what's going on there. That's not normal either. Anyways, jelly roll, it's been hosting Kimmel all week or last week.

I don't know when it was, very recently. He lost, I told you, yesterday I told you 200,000 followers. It's up to a million overnight, turning to three country friends. These are, I think, when he said they're country friends. There are other musicians in the country music world that he considers pretty close. And he went to them sort of a help to say, hey, what do I do to start? off the blading and here's his friends

by the way and this is the story. After Jelly Roll lost one million followers overnight over his remarks mocking Trump, he reached out to three friends in the country music industry to salvage his reputation. Yet the last one turned him into a laughing stock. Number three, Lainey Wilson. When she received Jelly Roll's plea for help, her stance was

ambiguous. She did not publicly attack him but refused to speak up for him. She stayed at the incident touched on sensitive public positions and she wanted no part of the media firestorm. She quietly distanced herself and made it clear she would not publicly back his controversial comments. Number two, Brantley Gilbert. This former friend ignored Jelly Roll's multiple messages. The pair used to perform together and shared a close bond. Faced with the massive fallout of losing a million followers, Gilbert kept his distance to hold

on to his conservative fan base. He avoided public criticism, yet his silence meant he would not risk his own reputation to get Jelly Roll out of trouble. Number one, Ryan Upchurch. He posted screenshots of their private help-seeking chat on social media, exposing Jellyroll's attempt to use industry connections for PR damage control. In his video, Upchurch stated, instead of offering a sincere apology for his mistakes, Jellyroll kept asking. Oh.

Jelly, you got to stop the bleeding, brother. Now you're getting caught. People are going behind the scenes to show how you're trying to stop the bleeding, which is a double whammy. And those are close friends of yours, and they're afraid because you're toxic right now, as they like to say. Guy just wants to stay relevant.

and I'm anxious to see how this plays out because for years people on the right they weren't the ones that cancel you and shit you know I mean and they're good to guys like that you know I mean they would get in trouble for saying yeah I love jelly roll but they'd say it anyways

there's the difference and then jelly roll turns around takes a big country dump on them you see the difference folks I think you do just remember one thing cancel color never came from the right. Neither the censorship, political correctness, wokenness. All this fucking cancer came from the left. Some people don't even know that. You probably say, we all know that, but no, some people I say that, they don't even realize it. I go, when's the last time somebody get canceled for being too liberal on a radio show or a TV show?

And they just sit there and got, and I feel like going, really? You haven't even thought this through that far, you fucking moron? I don't know why, folks. It's all bubbling up this morning. But it is. So I want to see how this plays out. I want to see what he comes up with. You can't go to your country, friends.

You have to hire a PR from that does this shit for a living. But they're used to, you know, they're used to doing it for the other side. Hey, Camio, stop sending me shit advertising. Every time I do, I think it's somebody asking. for a cameo. I know how to mark myself. Look at me. Place is packed. Anyhow, anyway. What shall I eat this weekend?

Other than the neighbor. His name's Ted. What an ass. Let's move on. Babble. Babble mouth. Everybody knows you never go full retard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In our West Coast stupid tonight, federal judge has dismissed the major

Department of Justice lawsuit against Calabonia, paving the way for biological males to keep competing in the girl sports. What is you? Why did I put you there? You, the ruling also comes shortly after the Supreme Court upheld state's authority. You hear this? The Supreme Court, I thought there was the final word and everything. I don't know how the fucking world works. The Supreme Court upheld states authority to ban trans athletes from competing in girls and women's sports. But the justices did not require states to adopt such restrictions. Then why even say it or write it?

What am I missing here? What good is it if you can't execute it? I don't get it. Leaving California's policy in place. In other words, the way it was before Trump came out and said, no, we're fixing it, right? While the DOJ considers an appeal. I thought it was already law. Somebody fucking helped me.

We're going to get, you know who. A guy who I had on the show that I was nervous about talking to because he's super smart. What's his name? The Jew with the red hair and... Oh, God. You work for me? Ershowitz, Alan Dershowitz. What's that?

I don't think I was here for that. No, you weren't, but I brought it up since then. He was way more friendly, and I was like, this guy, he's the, whatever they call, the Emirates at Harvard Law. And he would help me out in this thing. And I was really good. I had some good questions about the Constitution. Like when private companies, you know, you sue them for something,

and they go, no, but it's a private company. They can, and I said, a private company's fucking rules can override the, the constitution? And he goes, yeah, which is one thing I learned. I thought that was a good question. My pot, I'm going to shit my pants. And I also wanted to say to him, you know, I was sitting behind you, and this is true, and I dealt the flight in first class, one of the first times I flew it, because this was during the OJ trial. And he was like defending OJ. And I wanted, I was thinking about punching you in the back of your head.

I didn't have the ball to say it But damn it I kept following him because he's a brilliant guy I don't care They try to wrap him into the Epstein thing Which he came around and said Fucking bullshit absolutely blah blah He didn't hide from him

Although I don't know who knows He's a powerful guy I can't believe he came on the show number one But Yeah he was I'm just saying he could explain some of this shit to me because they're legal you've got to be quite bright

to understand a lot of this shit anyways so anyways the DOJ is going to appeal that district judge Cynthia Valenzuela there's another pro oh for Christ's sake boy she doesn't look like

prototypical liberal female judge does she overweight library glasses a haircut that says I'm offended by anything you say is that all that is fucking in the judicial system? Anyway, she shut down the case Monday with a decision made public

and drawing an immediate DOJ response on Tuesday. Trump's Justice Department originally stepped into defend fair plays, suing to enforce Title IX as a shield for female athletes rather than a loophole for fucking guys who think

that women to be their competitors. Right? Right. Let me get a video here, something. Oh, yeah. This is the second year in a row. We've seen Hernandez win two events at state. Nothing has changed since the executive order last February. Twenty-three states allow boys to compete in girls' sports. Gender identity in those states trumps sex. Twenty-seven states do have laws on the books, protecting women's sports. I think we need national legislation. And I think we need state-by-state legislation, which essentially would just reify Title IX. The intent of Title IX was to give women and girls their own sports. It wasn't just about sports, of course. It was about equal opportunity in the education system.

Sports is the most famous part of it. That is true. It's only part of it. Although to be a trans woman, which means a biological guy when you're doing the... What is that, the high jump? That's actually a disadvantage, because how many guys have knocked that thing over with their dick when they're going over? A few. Remember there was a guy in the Olympics?

I did. over with this giant cock. I was so fucking jealous. That's a guy. That is, it doesn't. If you, if we didn't know, I don't think you'd say that, but look at the shoulders. Get girl shoulders. But you're right. Hands like Fred Gwynn. So I don't know what to tell you.

The court avoided the underlying debate over biological fairness entirely. Instead, Judge Valenzuela, ooh. You fucking who are you go. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. Somebody had to write that. Get my dinner.

It wasn't, fuck you, hooer isn't sexist enough and mean enough. Get my dinner. That hurts more. That bothers women more. You should have tagged it with eye in my shirt. Judge Valenzuela, seen here, grounded her decision in administrative funding rules. So she went to, see how the millions of ways you can get around? around it when you know the law. She goes to funding, finding that the federal government

failed to give California explicit prior notice before threatening to pull $44 billion in education funds. What were they supposed to shoot up a flare? What are you talking about? Trump talked about it the day he was running he was going to do this. What kind of heads up did you need? See, that's a technicality. That's what's wrong with our system in our country. And things like that. I'm not saying she's a lesbian, but I'm just saying an ardent feminist, like I said, gay women cannot be, just like black people can't be subjective when it comes to a,

if they're in a jury in a trial about race, I don't give a fuck, you can never convince me. And lesbians are just unhappy people. And they have more beefs with our society than any other segment of our society. Go home and finish your bail of hay, you fucking fuck. Sorry, folks. I should have had some sanker today. The ruling also comes shortly after the Supreme Court upheld state's authority to ban trans athletes from competing in girls and women's sports.

But the justice is, this is, did not. requires states to adopt such restrictions. Again, I don't, somebody, leaving California's policy in place while the DOJ considers an appeal. All they have to do, if I was arguing this, I'd just, I'd just show this video to the people who are pro having women playing against men. I just go, well, this is what happens. This is why you shouldn't. Perfectly fit.

I can see nothing wrong with one healthy man meeting the living daylights out of a little school room. It's quick and it's fun. That'll never not be funny. What did he say at the end? It's like having fun. It's quick and it's fun. Oh, it's quick and it's fun. Just like sex with me.

It used to be, like most young guys, now, Christ, I'm like a pawnster. I can't get it off. And you're like, that's because your pillow doesn't have the right feel. Well, it's a good point, too. It's got a button right in the middle. And I pretend it's an ass. hyenas, October 8th. Let's move on to a nice story.

A nice one. Wheel of Misfortune. Go ahead. This guy will set up this story. This black guy, who I can tell just by his voice. Is this another short? It is, huh? What am I doing?

All of a sudden. Go ahead, black man. Wheel of Fortune, longtime announcer, Jim Thornton, has been suspended from the show. I can tell he hates white people from his voice. Sony, Pinterest television confirmed in a statement that Thornton will not be involved with the program as the studio looks into allegations against him. He's something happened on a plane, and I can tell you right now, just from looking at that face, it couldn't have been, it couldn't have been savory. Look at that.

That's the face you make right after you get blown by a Cub Scout in a parking lot. Is it not? Oh, you grabbed a girl's tit in the middle row. I don't know. Look at it. I'm not, I'm guessing he doesn't like women. I could be wrong. A spokesperson, he looks like, you know, he looks like one of those gay weathermen, like there's any other kind.

Anybody else find that? I brought this up many times, too. There's a cabal of weathermen in this country. They must have their own secret association. Like nine out of ten, I've been every state almost watching local news from fucking 38 years. That weatherman's always fruity is a fruit cake. and they have these, you know what I'm saying?

A spokesperson for Sony Pictures, television studios, I've been there many times to audition, fail, and leaving with my tail between my leg, told the times he has been suspended from Wheel of Fortune, and we are recasting while we conduct a thorough investigation. They said, we're looking at Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols. He's dead now, ain't he? You might be up.

What? You might be up. Oh, Dallas. Oh, you might as in the end now. Oh, God. Nobody even, first of all, out of all the announcing jobs, everybody knows Jeopardy and fucking Johnny. This is Jeopardy.

That guy's 98 years old. Andy told me this. And I guess she looked it up. He's 98. And he still does from home. They just send him, and he records. Like, they send him the name of the contestants. And first of all, really?

I mean, I bet he's. got enough money. I mean, to be an announcer on a show that lasts that long, can you imagine? At 90, first of all, I don't want to be 98. I'll be covered in age spots. Okay, Dallas, please, look it up. Johnny Who, Jeopardy announcer. That should come up in two seconds. Thank you, Jimmy. Thank you, Johnny. I can hear the... It's going to be Johnny Gilbert. Jesus. Yeah, exactly. Johnny Gilbert Sony pictures

did not specify the reason for the suspension the allegations could possibly stem from an incident that what do you mean it could possibly I could have wrote this you guys know about as much as the story as I did if somebody said to me at a bar

you hear about the announcer getting in trouble on the plane I could have wrote this dig a little deeper or don't put it up yet and you know my rule about dead people I want to hear about it until you're actually holding their fucking rotted asshole in your hand. The allegations could possibly stem from an incident that occurred in May aboard a commercial American Airlines flight to L.A. It's always American when I'm on.

TMZ reported when a passenger complained about thought into a flight attendant. How is this being kept secret if it happened back in May four months ago? How do we not know more? This is very interesting to me. American, wouldn't it be funny? It's going to come out in a month and they go, they found Nancy Guthrie's arm in his fucking luggage. American Airlines told

Tamsey that a passenger was met by law enforcement upon arrival at LA International Airport on May 14th. Although the airline did not identify the individual Thornton's attorney told the outlet that the 61-year-old did not engage in a legal conduct, was not arrested,

and has not been charged with any crime. So this is all made up, attorney. We don't know who the, we don't know anything about it. It's the fucking weirdest thing. I'm trying to figure out who would keep, you know what I mean? Does he have pictures of somebody at American Airlines, you know, blowing a fucking palomino in the media? When questioned about the complaint made by a fellow passenger on the flight,

law enforcement spoke to him, Jim, for five minutes or less, immediately determined that no wrongdoing had occurred and told my client that he was free to go, his attorney said. Well, then if there was nothing, nothing happened, tell us that. Tell us what he was being accused of. And then say, she was lying. But you didn't, because you're a snaky, Jim Thornton is being edited out of Wheel of Fortune.

My vagina's angry. It sure is. It is. It's pissed off. It should be. It stinks. Jimmy thought and being edited out of Wheel of Fortune episodes after Sony suspended him amid and during an investigation.

So you're going to, but nothing happened. You're suspended him, but nothing. Do you see all the contradictions of what I just read you guys? That's why I did the story, not so much the story itself. Just to show you what passes as reporting today in journalism, it really is frustrating because I'm telling you, when a game show announced, fuck somebody, I want to know about it. Don't you? Let's move on to double bogey.

Now what in Lord's name? I have golf, one part of me is disappointed that I didn't take it up because it is something you can do it when you're older, you know, and it's just a legitimate sport, eye-hand coordination, and I have great spatial abilities, meaning touch. If you set up something and ask me a roller ball to stop within, I have very good touch like that. Usually

Italians are very I remember I was helping My sister's father-in-law Fix his pool About eight guys Young guys And he needed somebody to level off Like where they're going to put the cement around the pool

And he goes He called me the Galloping Guinea He goes Hey Galloping Guinea He goes, you Italians have a great eye for that shit He hands me the fuck Isn't that racist I suit him

Those are good old days That's the guy that got me drinking like in sixth grade. Fucking funny motherfucker. Anyway, good, good golfs. That's the name of the company. Good, good golfs. Golf.

I said, good, good golfs. Next president and CEO will need to be better. Did I skip something? Was that the opening paragraph? CEO, Matt Kendrick, and President Joe Flannery are out of their roles with embattled golf brand and the latest twist from the follow out of the controversial ad that the golf brand created with Callaway Golf.

Listen to this. Nahid Gija will step in as an interim CEO of the company. The controversy erupted. I think we showed this a few months ago. The controversy erupted after Good Good released an ad to promote a driver collaboration with Calloway. Clark was shown running towards a female member of the brand, Alexis Maitowski. works there. So she okayed it and pretending to shove her to the ground. So here's what got them in trouble. This is, I have a, obviously I have a take on this. Here's the video that got them in trouble.

Do not touch my new driver. No, no. Johnny, no. Don't do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, don't. It's supposed to be like a horror. It's over. He's gone. What's happening? Is this a short, too? Oh my God. I must be getting, I must have, I don't know what I did. I have an ad blocker.

Does that change anything? I just put that on. In a memo, anyways, that's the video. They got him in trouble because the guy ran and knocked down the woman. In a memo sent out by Alex Pukala, the departures were described as decisions made by both men. Yeah, sure it was. They both said, you know what, we're going to step down from a thing that we invented that's making us rich. This is a difficult day for the entire good, good family, the memo read.

Now how stupid do you feel about the name? Mad Help built something extraordinary that exceeded all expectations and continues to bring countless new fans to the sport, which is a good thing. Anybody would agree to that. What began as a small group of friends playing golf is now a growing global community. But they have to step down from it because they showed a man knocking down a woman, clearly a fucking joke.

I'll get to some more of that. Me being a comedian, being very sensitive about this, to ensure stability through this transition, Nahi Giga, good, good co-founder, and one of four investors, she's a woman, so we'll step in as interim CEO. You know what that is. They put her in there,

and they fucking run the business from the recliner and go good, let her take the fucking arrows. Effective immediately. Garrett Clark and the creator team will... This may be left. Garrett Clark and the creative team will keep doing what they do best, making great content that gets our CEOs fired. What the fuck?

Again, my take, obviously, from a stand-up's point of view that colors this story. That is funny. There's women in that company. Women took part in the frigging thing. I know a ton of women that would find that funny today. But the cancer of wokenness, political correctness, especially when it comes to women, the feminist movement. Remember, you've got to treat women still like children.

You know, they say women and children first. You've got to keep them together because apparently they're made of paper. But you know a bunch of feminist twats had a problem with that. They have poisoned so many generations. Do you understand? And I know most of the women that vote for Trump would laugh at that. He didn't take a club and hit her and blood squirted out of her fucking eyes. That would have been funnier, but I'm saying.

And I also think another part of me goes, guys, how did you think that was going to fly? Do you not know the times? Even now, I know you think they might have thought woke is dead, Trump's. But we've got a long way to go. They damaged our hard drive with that shit for 50, 60 years. You understand? And it's still, that's why I love being a stand-up comic. That shit doesn't matter when I'm on stage.

I'm almost hoping a woman pops up and goes, That was offensive, then I can unload my fucking caffeine. What? Caffeine rid. I don't even smoke anymore. And I fucking, can you tell I slept a good three and a half hours last? I'll be dead soon. Folks, I'm not even to be able to find my car.

Never mind, do the road in a fucking year. Wife's already buying me diapers. I saw him in the... Do you get my point, though? Anyways, like I said, any woman with a sense of you, Nothing is more anti-humor than fucking feminism. It is the opposite of humor. Taking yourself that seriously.

I would like to find the five twats who got this frigging feminism thing. And yes, we're all for fucking equal pay. But yeah, all that good. You're not supposed to say to a woman in a job interview. Well, you're not going to get the job. And like, you'll blow me. And that did go on. We all understand that.

But this shit here, clearly a joke. So they must have got enough heat from whoever. Whatever the fuck. Should have taken the club to her legs. That would have been funny. Right toward kneecaps. Fucking both of them. Nick, that's horrible.

Will you hate women? Just that one? No. I think most you women in the audience, if you haven't shut the TV off, all six of you. TV? Shut the TV off. I'm still here.

I'm on the internet. You can shut the TV off while you want. I didn't make TV. Let's move on, shall we, before we go to the weekend, and I can yank it in the attic of my house. Let's move on to North America Hacked. We'll end it with a kind of serious one. A hundred million stolen American IDs just popped up online.

What, Nick? You heard me. Writer Brian Krebs says he was alerted by a source on Monday that his driver's license had found its way onto the dark web. Even worse, it was being given away as a free sample. The source told Krebs that a service called Nexus was being advertised on a Russian cybercrime forum called Exploit, which was running like an ad,

which was offering access to digital scans of IDs from an unthinkable number of people in North America. And he sees his, it's like seeing your thing in a commercial. His thing comes up. Krebs wrote, the source brought it to my attention because the proprietor of this identity theft service offered my Virginia driver's license as a free sample and their initial sales thread on exploit. That's photo of the odds of that. The identity theft archive allegedly contained more than 153 million driver's licenses from North America. Oh my God.

I'm actually jealous. I didn't get in there. along with other identity documents that pushed the number of stolen IDs to more than 170 million. After cross-referencing the dates and times listed on the documents of his colleagues, the reporter established that the images were likely being taken from a widely used verification company in Louisiana. Louisiana's weird. It always pops up. I told you, the first time I ever bought some of the credit card on the internet, I use my Amex to book plane tickets or some shit.

I got to notice a couple days later, I think it was from Amex said it, did you, did you purchase 2,200 pounds of shrimp? And I'm going, what the fuck? And I remember when I was ordering the tickets, the guy sounded very black, not to be fucking prejudice. Maybe it wasn't him, I think it was. It's the only time I used it. That was the first time I used it.

They traced it back the 2,200 pounds to some fucking restaurant like shrimp hut in Louisiana, It was literally didn't even have a street name. It was like Route 26. 20-200 pounds with the trip. They asked me, did I go, what am I, Baba from Forrest Gump? What the fuck? I don't, anyways, the accused website,

ID scan.net, told the outlet, it was investigating the matter, but was not able to share any additional information. The ID of Secretary of War, Pete Hegseth, allegedly appeared on the website, too, with a price tag of $100. Oh, he's a superstar. I'd charge more for a cameo to purchase the record. In other words, you could buy his frigging, you know, his information, his picture,

and you call him your hair like that, now you get into a bar. What? We have been continuously exfiltrating new data for over a year into our private database. Nexus wrote, this is the company that's doing it. they've been collecting private information from private databases. Records are available to preview before purchase with pertinent information redacted. Customer photos are displayed if available. The guy that runs Nexus.

Other than stolen data on the website purportedly included travel documents, medical cards, marijuana dispensary cards, and more. Holy moly. Nexus claimed the images were. coming from an active breach at a major identity verification company that has multiple Fortune 500 companies as customers. Why would they tell us that? It's almost like they're going to catch us if you can, or they're lying, whatever.

That's a lot of fucking fake IDs. I'm not even smart enough to be a criminal today. I admire some of these fuckers watching Jeopardy last night. Tournament of a champion. So funny. It's fucking like all Asian people. It's fucking hilarious. Although there was one broad,

might have been Jewish, fucking brilliant. But I hate to point out the ratio of how many male champions to women champions. Again, something they'll hide. Although I saw no,

I saw no, you know what, trannies in the tournament champions. That is it for the week, folks. Hey, except for Dallas. His cousin still has his van. This guy can rock.

It's not a break in the wall. Holy now is to start. I know they break in the wall. It's not a brick. It's a break in the wall. He wrote this apparently, and he was fucking, what was it? When did the wall come down?

88? What the fuck? 91. I can't even remember. Another break in the wall, folks. That is it. Don't forget cameo.com. If you'd like me to roast a friend or a relative,

go to cameo.com. I told you, some people played it at their wedding reception. I almost walked the room. What could be more fun than that? You guys think that I'll say, you're very welcome. We'll see you on Monday. Have a great weekend with all your friends and families and a couple of color kids.

See you on Monday. Hi, good night everybody.