The Nick DiPaolo Show - 103 - Blitzer, Tubman, Columbus

Episode Date: October 13, 2015

Blitzer, Tubman, Columbus...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. And we're off. Hi, kids. Nick DiPaolo podcast. How you with? If you can hear chainsaws in the background, that's my neighbor cutting up trees. Or his wife. I don't know. I know he drinks like a fish, so it could get ugly over there sometimes.
Starting point is 00:00:46 We hear it from across the woods. But, uh, there might be a murder being committed as I do the show. How are ya? Pretty good? Good! Um, happy
Starting point is 00:01:02 people, what is it, Indigenous People's Day or something like that? It used to be Columbus Day, but the fucking leftist fucks get their claws into it, you know, rewrite history. I don't know, people reading history books, I'd say, I don't know, 50 years from now,
Starting point is 00:01:19 I don't even know how this country came about. But that's why we have to stop murdering far leftists. Yeah, let's get it on what the fuck it is columbus day in my house and uh yeah we do this every year because it's a big day for me because you know i'm i'm half italian people are surprised when they hear that they're like half italian you look like a full-blooded guinea to me I do I do I look I do I look like a piece of roasted garlic but uh my mother's French Canadian and English bet you didn't know that huh but anyways um you know Columbus Day we always get a kick out of this on the show because that was my big scene on the sopranos you remember the big episode it was called christopher um season four episode three or vice versa i don't know
Starting point is 00:02:11 but uh you know the the native americans were protesting the columbus day parade you remember the episode well here's a little setup for you this is the first of two clips. It's not like we didn't give them a bunch of shit to make up for that. Land, reservations, and now they got the casinos. The fuck we ever get we didn't have to work our balls off for? I wouldn't mind sitting on my ass all day, smoking mushrooms and collecting government checks. You know what it is? I'll tell you what it is. It's anti-Italian discrimination.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Columbus Day is a day of Italian pride. It's our holiday, and they want to take it away. Yeah, that's true. All of that's true. You know? But that's how countries came about, folks. I love how the, you know, people on the left just focus, like this is the only place where there was slavery and you know murders and genocide committed
Starting point is 00:03:31 in the name of finding a country settling it it's so hilarious it's all they focus on nothing else on on the planet according to them but that just cracks me up is anti's anti Italian discrimination. Stevie Van Zandt. Just fucking just cracks me up. And yeah, I'll be forever grateful
Starting point is 00:03:55 for getting on the best show in the history of television, even if it was a couple lines. Well, here's my big scene. People always on Twitter, they put up pictures of this usually today. But here's my big scene. People always on Twitter, they put up pictures of this usually today. But here's me yelling, break it up. And, you know. These woods, the highway will swarm with invisible dead of our people.
Starting point is 00:04:17 The white man will never be alone. This is Newark, baby. We don't play that shit. That better not be Columbus. Take it down. He's going to burn the way our ancestors did We will make arrests. The fuck is this, Joey? They get a permit.
Starting point is 00:04:49 Everybody, come on, let's go. Everybody. I'll remember this, Joey. I said everybody. Nobody's listening to me. Oh, yeah. So, but there's a lot of every year in more and more cities changing it from Columbus Day to Indigenous Peoples Day. You know, it's just fucking hilarious to me, the whitewashing. Hey, if you guys that hate the country so much and how it was founded, why are you going to whitewash it?
Starting point is 00:05:17 How are you going to be able to teach your children and grandchildren and great grandchildren what racist fucks, you know, the founding fathers and, you know, Columbus. And how are you going to teach your kids all that hate for this country if you whitewash it? You got to leave it be, don't you? Dickheads? Sure you do. More cities are recognizing Native Americans on Columbus Day this year as they revive a movement to change the name of the holiday. on Columbus Day this year as they revive a movement to change the name of the holiday.
Starting point is 00:05:44 It's a fucking ball movement to celebrate the history and contributions of indigenous cultures around the country. As the U.S. observes Columbus Day on Monday, it'll also be Indigenous Peoples Day in at least nine cities for the first time this year. Well, congratulations, Albuquerque. It's always the fucking out west, stupid fucks.
Starting point is 00:06:02 Portland. That'll be Portland, oregon uh st paul minnesota again you know i love minneapolis maybe st paul i don't olympia washington you know uh encouraged by city council votes in minneapolis and seattle last year native american activists made a push in dozens of cities in recent months to get local leaders to officially recognize the second monday of october as indigenous people's day why don't you do it i don't know pick a day in uh february i don't know too late um the campaigns say the federal holiday honoring christopher columbus and the parades and
Starting point is 00:06:47 pageantry accompanying it accompanying it excuse me overlook a painful history of colonialism enslavement discrimination and land grabs that followed the italian explorers 1490 to arrival in the americas the indigenous holiday takes into account the history and contributions of native americans for a more accurate historical record activists have argued okay put it down a record who gives a rat's tits go ahead columbus day supporters say that the holiday celebrates centuries of cultural exchange between america and europe commemorates an iconic explorer and honors italian americans a group that has endured its own share of discrimination.
Starting point is 00:07:27 It's the Italian discrimination. Discrimination. It's discrimination. Yeah, I mean, as an Italian kid growing up, I faced discrimination. They wouldn't let me wear a purple open dress shirt to school. It was too Guinea-like with a big life-size cross on my chest. I mean, how much time do you have in your fucking hands, people,
Starting point is 00:07:56 that push for these things? You're going to be dead by the time they catch on. Let's just, all right, give them that, and we'll just come up with another one just greasy italian day where it has nothing to do with columbus just you know we only fucking built it did everything anything you see built of brick and rock and stone and marble and wood from 1900 on was done by italians we'll do that pizza calzones
Starting point is 00:08:22 we'll leave we'll give them that. We'll take the greasy Italian stuff that people love us for. Godfather, movies, Goodfellas, you know, Paterno. Paterno, didn't he fuck kids? No, he didn't. Stop with that horse shit. South Dakota renamed Columbus Day to native american day back in 1990 and uh it's been an official state holiday ever since berkeley california has observed
Starting point is 00:08:52 indigenous people's day since 1992 somebody had to blow up that fucking shithole berkeley nothing good ever came out of there um yeah so that's the daily oh so to you four native americans that are left happy indigenous people's day to grease balls in the bronx happy columbus day now that we got that out of the way, that silliness. I get back, me and the wife took like a mini vacation. You know, the pressures of marriage and cheating
Starting point is 00:09:34 and drug abuse. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, we just split. We went up to, I'm like, just find some place upstate. She comes back with a trip to some finger lake. Lake Awosko. You guys familiar with that?
Starting point is 00:09:50 That's the fifth, the biggest of the 11 finger lakes, apparently. It was nice. About four hours north of where I am in northern westchester uh with the ways app plugged in it took me an hour and a half i averaged 171 um you know about four hours uh 240 something fucking miles this uh found this nice house right on a lake. This beautiful frigging lake. I mean, it really is stunning upstate New York this time of year. And can you hear the chainsaws? I can hear my neighbors screaming. Yeah, so we went up there.
Starting point is 00:10:35 Beautiful house right on the lake. I've never seen cleaner water. Apparently, these lakes, you know, they provide water for the whole state, some of them. Or the surrounding areas, at least., or the surrounding areas at least. I know that much, but unbelievable. I'm looking at the rocks, you know, like five feet underwater, and they don't even have dirt on them. It was like frighteningly clean. And, yeah, we just, this house, we walk into the house, and this this guy apparently this woman who owns the house her
Starting point is 00:11:05 dad who has passed away since was a big hunter so there was all kinds of big game not big game but deer heads and fucking elk and moose and uh a full-size uh brown bear stuffed you know that was uh he had it up these stairs went up to this loft, and this full-size fucking, like a berry shot in Kodiak, Alaska, back in 85 or something. He had it stuffed, and it was kind of creepy laying there at night with all these dead animals staring at you. My wife was freaking out. I kept pushing her towards this.
Starting point is 00:11:39 They had a bear hanging, like a, you know, spread eagle, just completely gutted, hanging, you know, with its face like an inch from the door. And you can, like you're pushing my wife's face towards it and making her cry. No, I didn't do that. Well, I did a couple of times. But yeah, this guy must have been, I don't know how you shoot shit like that. Again, when I was younger, I'd kill pheasants and pigeons and shit. But I don't know. See these, I don't know how you, I don't know how you shoot shit like that. Again, when I was younger, I'd kill pheasants and pigeons and shit. But I don't know.
Starting point is 00:12:06 See these... I don't know how you... Ah, I don't know. I could appreciate it, though. God, I... If I was a hunter, I would have been out there. The weather was so fucking awesome. But here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Here's the thing. It could have been a perfect four days or whatever. But the house had a, like, a tin roof. I mean, this was like a nice house not like a dump like a dumpy little cottage it had a metal roof on it and the goddamn they're not acorns they were bigger than acorns they're like the size of walnuts i don't know what the fuck they would fall in all night onto the roofs and i mean make a bang like somebody with a bat smacking and then they would roll down the roof and and her water heater would kick on and it sounded like two fat guys
Starting point is 00:12:52 wrestling in an empty tank just like this boom bang bang and me and my fucking wife would just go what the fuck it was just you know next day we're like zombies just sitting there. And it was, so that was a little fucking irritating, you know. But my wife, you know, she does all the, if it's me, I just lay there. I lay there and I watch, you know, just like I would at home. I'd watch like, you know, eight college games or whatever. But she, you know, she's the planner. She drags me out to the Harriet Tubman house where, you know, the abolitionists,
Starting point is 00:13:31 the famous abolitionists. She died around 1913. You know, I'm talking about the Underground Railroad. And, yeah, you know, I appreciate. She was something else, you know. But, I mean, come on, guys. You know my politics. You know, it's like jesus christ really
Starting point is 00:13:46 honey and uh so she drags me out to the harriet tubman house and it's one of those get you pay you know you pay to go in and then there's a fucking you sit down in chairs and this nice black gentleman gives a one-hour speech on harriet Tubman and the day we were there it was a bunch of homeschooled kids and not just all homeschooled but like it looked like a field trip of kids I don't know but uh so he's given this like one-hour speech and he's asking these questions and he made clear that the adults are not supposed to answer and um so he'd be like um you know does anybody know harriet tubman's real name and and you know i lean over to my wife i go uh tenequa so everybody could hear and you hear snicker and some people give me dirty looks and and uh her nickname was minty apparently and i'm like well
Starting point is 00:14:40 that makes sense they you know with the cool cigarettes in the middle and uh you you know, my wife, I have black and blues on my right shoulder. My wife was punching me during the whole thing. And but what was scary, every time he asked a question, these little kids, they could have been more than eight or ten. They they knew the answers to all of them because they've had this stuff shoved down their face. Whether whether it's homeschooling or regular schools. Just, I mean, memorized. Just, you can tell. And I know damn well if you asked him who the first president of the United States,
Starting point is 00:15:10 they would have no fucking clue. I'm telling you. Just everything. What was, what did Harry Tubman's what size shoe? Nine and a half. Kid like four years old, blonde hair blower. Nine and a half. And she was also a nurse and a scout.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Very good, Jim. And we'd have to clap every time the kids answered a question. And then he asked a half. And she was also a nurse and a scout. Very good, Jim. And we'd have to clap every time the kids answered a question. And then he asked a question. He goes, does anybody know what, apparently she used to play some game called Pig in a Bag. And the guy's like, does anybody know what Pig in a Bag is? And I lean over to my wife. And again, I said it a little too loud. I go, isn't that Black Lives Matter's newest slogan?
Starting point is 00:15:48 Punch to the shoulder. Quiet. Fucking guy's giving me a dirty look. And pig, what pig in a bag was Harriet Tubman when she was little? She had her brothers and sisters. She'd pick her brother up and dump him in like a burlap bag upside down and spin him around until he started squealing like a pig sounds kind of that'll be fucking bullying today you try that shit that'd be bullying but uh i mean come on she was quite she was quite a woman she got it she did
Starting point is 00:16:17 a lot of shit she escaped she was born in Maryland. She escaped. And then went back and got her family members. And at Harper's Ferry, she freed a bunch of people. And you could tell I was half paying attention. But it's unbelievable. She was hit in the head with a two-pound weight. Of course, these little white kids knew that. I'm like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:16:46 How did they know that? Some slave owner threw a weight at another slave and missed and hit her in the head. So she had like seizures and shit the rest of her life. But what a ballsy lady. So she started the whole underground railroad thing, which were actually houses weren't underground they were you know my sister my sister and has a house in andover mass she just sold it by the way but uh it was part of the underground railroad and i said i'm not coming to thanksgiving there just busting balls my family thought that was really funny but uh yeah so i learned shit and uh the guy was great the guy's speaking i don't know how he kept that fresh but he's i asked him how many times if he
Starting point is 00:17:32 said that he goes six or seven times a day five days a week for the last three years or some shit but he was really good he kept it kind of interesting okay uh yeah so harriet tupman and then of course uh we went into her house and looked at the you know it's like okay i i get it i've been into a few houses that were born i mean built before 1950 this small and they have shitty appliances can we move on jesus h and here's where they uh they cooked a turkey and uh i'll go to my wife i'm gonna go out front i'll be on the lawn
Starting point is 00:18:13 so uh yeah we we got a little history in and then uh it's up by auburn new york and uh which is also the the where uh Millard Fillmore our 13th president I think it was he was born up there and uh we had to go see his uh his house and Jesus H Christ um guy like you know nobody even respects this guy one of the worst presidents ever I think he was Zach Taylor's uh I was half listening again the whole speech and shit I think he was Zach Taylor's, I was half listening again to the whole speech and shit. I think he was Zach Taylor's vice president.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Zach Taylor came down with a stomach flu and his doctors gave him like mercury and shit and ended up killing him by accident. And that's how Millard Fillmore,
Starting point is 00:18:59 what a horrendous fucking name, Millard. Millie, you big girl. Hey, Millie, wanna be president? so he became uh president and we we saw the little log cabin i'm always when they're giving these speeches and shit
Starting point is 00:19:13 you know like even with the harriet tubman thing and then she said to her slave master i i don't like these arrangements and ran away how do you fucking know how do you and that goes for anything whether it's Columbus or. I love how we give blow-by-blow accounts. People can't even tell me what happened in the Mets game last night. But I'm supposed to believe. And same, that goes with the Bible and all that shit. I'm supposed to believe, you know, exactly what happened. These stories are handed down and twisted over the years.
Starting point is 00:19:41 But, yeah, Millard Fillmore. The good thing about the Millard Fillmore thing was there's a they have a whole like national park dedicated to him or whatever and there's a we got to go hiking in this this fucking unbelievable gorge I don't even know the name of it but it was part of this little state park for him dedicated to him and it was this gorge uh it was like a five mile hike up and down and with bridge you know foot bridges crossing this gorge like doing nine different bridges you you know every couple hundred yards would be like a wooden bridge uh that would take you from the right side of the gorge and i'm talking if you fell you're dead they had fence up thank god in some areas but i'm
Starting point is 00:20:22 talking i'm talking like a 15 2 000,000-foot drop it looked like. I don't know. Don't Google that shit. But so it would take you from the right side of the gorge to the left, and then you'd hike some more for like another 5, 10 minutes, and then there'd be a footbridge taking you back to the other side, zigging and zagging. And this time, it was really stunning.
Starting point is 00:20:46 And just quiet. But you know piss me off i mean it's the most beautiful country and it's a just a natural you know uh mother nature a beautiful gorge and and then you'd see like a seven up bottle fucking bag a doritos bag kind of motherless fucks would do that. Throw shit. How do you, I don't even throw shit out on the highway if I'm in Detroit. How do you, you know, oh, look at that. Look at that beautiful tree.
Starting point is 00:21:12 Must be 600 years old. Let me just fucking toss this diet cocaine at the base of it. I'd like to catch somebody doing that and fucking throw them in the gorge. Motherless fucks. Anyways. Yeah, so it was, it was kind of cool that hiking about 90 95 minute hike up and down get a nice workout in luckily i was wearing dress
Starting point is 00:21:36 pants and dress shoes and a nice uh no hi i had timbal and work boots on. There's an urban hiker for you, huh? Things weigh 11 pounds each, steel-toed tips. Just walking on level ground, it's hard to do. I'm going up these fucking hills. And then my wife had a little panic attack. She has these panic attacks once in a while. She started to freak out in the woods. I was going to run, but I was afraid I'd get lost, so I stayed with her and comforted her like a good husband.
Starting point is 00:22:04 But, yeah, so it was kind of an interesting. And we were going to stay until, like, Sunday. And then we woke up for, like, the third morning in a row just totally exhausted from the sound of steel drums on the fucking roof. And I look at my wife and I go, would you mind if we blew town? Before I could even finish the sentence, she's packing shit. But it was beautiful. I would go up there. I would suggest it.
Starting point is 00:22:32 I would just suggest maybe Velcro roofs. Look for Velcro if you're going to book a house on that lake. But absolutely frigging gorgeous. We also went to the William Seward House. And you know, he was a former governor and senator
Starting point is 00:22:54 of the state of New York. And he lost to Lincoln. They were close friends. I think Lincoln made him a secretary of state if I have that right. We went into his, we looked at his house
Starting point is 00:23:04 and kind of had to string. I have the attention span of a crack baby. So, you know, I've got a guy in his late 80s taking us around the house. And people are fascinated at the fucking china they ate on. And I'm staring out the window at some girl with big ass walking in the parking lot. I'm like, oh, yeah. Did you say something? Yeah yeah so it was a it was a finger lakes history lesson um william seward uh yeah they try to have him he he secretary of state i believe lincoln he lost to lincoln then lincoln man secretary of
Starting point is 00:23:42 state and and the night they try to kill Lincoln, they tried to kill him too. And his brother got involved. A guy busted into the house. Cracked his wife over the head, his brother, and shot him. They had the bloody sheets and shit. You know, they still had the original sheets. And these fucking houses are amazing. Just, you know, there's one room they call the library.
Starting point is 00:24:04 Just like four walls of these gorgeous old books and shit. Just wanted to steal stuff. And they had the sheet with his blood on it from the night they tried to kill him. And, you know, I was like, OK, well, it looks like when I picked a scab when I played football in high school, my sheets look the same. I don't see anybody glassing that up and putting it in the thing. But, you know, and then I'm like, is that really, how do we know that's his blood? I mean, who the fuck knows? But, so I learned about him. William Seward.
Starting point is 00:24:41 And, you know, powerful people, rich people. It was great. They always had kids who were fuck-ups though and that was kind of funny too but uh so that was my yeah we got back saturday that was that don't feel like don't feel that rested i gotta be honest with you and anyways what the hell else do we do yeah so i come back and i put on the nose and i see uh the house republicans or that guy mccarthy again i don't want to get into in the weeds and this but he was going to replace boehner as the speaker he was in the process of replacing boehner he thought he was gonna And then he makes an announcement a few days ago that he's dropping out. And people are like, what the hell is this about? And some people believe because he wasn't conservative enough.
Starting point is 00:25:38 And there's something called the Freedom Caucus, which is like 15 guys, Republicans who are really conservative. And the other ones that kind of fucked it up and they couldn't agree they don't think he had enough votes to become the speaker anyway all of a sudden he drops out and you know what that means somebody has dirty laundry on him and sure enough something comes out about him having a possible um an affair because he's a marrier having a an affair with somebody some woman, congresswoman from North Carolina, Renee Elmers. Of course, she's denying it.
Starting point is 00:26:08 He's denying it. But to drop out so abruptly is kind of odd. But I don't think he was conservative enough anyways. Again, you know me. I want somebody to the right of Mussolini and Genghis Khan. So now they're talking about Paul Ryan, who very, very smart guy guy but he's like a policy wonk you know I don't think he's the guy I don't think his heart's in it but they a lot of people
Starting point is 00:26:32 want him they say he they can he can bridge the gap between the establishment Republicans and the real conservatives anyways that's that uh that came out of nowhere. Everybody was kind of shocked about that. And we'll see where the hell that goes. By the way, the CNN, the Democrats, I think, are debating tonight, aren't they? That's going to be a fucking... I want you to notice all the diversity on the stage. You got the
Starting point is 00:26:57 90-year-old white Bernie Sanders and the 80-year-old Hillary Clinton and Martin O'Malley, another white guy. And for for again for a party that screams about diversity and shit where is it biden still hasn't decided yet so boy his heart must really be in it huh did you see the clip of him he goes today uh this past weekend he goes to the reporter get out of my way and then he then he did like a quick smile to let you know he was kidding. But you can tell that's really his true colors.
Starting point is 00:27:27 I think he's kind of a dick. What the hell else did I want to talk about? Oh, Wolf Blitzer, that angry crowd on CNN. The sham of a reporter. He's still there. And did you see him with Ben Carson interviewing Ben Carson? Just listen. Just trying to trip him up with race questions. And listen how angry Wolf Blitzer gets when he can't pin down Ben Carson, who's a neurosurgeon and a surgeon and 50 times smarter
Starting point is 00:28:01 than Wolf Blitzer will ever be. But just listen to the anger and the gut when he can't get the gotcha questions, you know, because he's so used to interviewing white liberal idiots. I should say white Republican idiots who came in. But listen, you know, he's interviewing a black guy and he's asking him questions about Obama's religion and race. That's another thing I don't see much. I don't see these reporters doing that to asking liberals about other liberal politicians about other you know democrats like they never ask like bernie sanders how come hillary clinton's not in jail shouldn't she be in jail by you never hear that shit but they always go they'll always ask a republican candidate what do you think of
Starting point is 00:28:39 trump uh he said this he said that you think that's really fair they never pull that shit with the at least it doesn't seem that way but here's a wolf blitzer giving ben carson the third degree He said this. He said that. You think that's really fair? They never pull that shit with the, at least it doesn't seem that way. But here's Wolf Blitzer giving Ben Carson the third degree. And again, racial questions because that's how they make political hay on the left. That's all they have.
Starting point is 00:28:55 And it's worked for years, so you can't blame him for going to that fucking well. But listen to how perturbed Wolf Blitzer gets when he can't get Ben to answer the way he wants him to answer. Rupert Murdoch,
Starting point is 00:29:11 switching gears, tweeted this, praising you and your wife. I'll put it up on the screen, clearly taking a swipe at President Obama. Ben and Candy Carson, terrific. What about a real black president who can properly address the racial divide and much else?
Starting point is 00:29:28 That's a pretty shocking statement. He's now apologized in effect. What's so shocking, dickhead? Well, I know Rupert Murdoch. He's not a racist by any stretch of the imagination. He's just expressing his opinion. I think it's much to do about nothing. But he's suggesting that President Obama is not a real black president.
Starting point is 00:29:46 He's not. Well, he's black, but he's not a real president. Everybody's entitled to their opinion. I believe what he was making reference to was the fact that here was a man who is a black president that the black community was very excited about, who came in and whose policies have not really elevated the black community, has not been beneficial. There's more unemployment, more poverty. And I believe that's what he was really referring to. You believe the president is a real black president, though, right? What kind of question is that? I wouldn't even get into such a
Starting point is 00:30:18 conversation. It's a simple question. Is President Obama a real black president? Well, he's the president and he's black. So heama a real black president well he's the president and he's black so he's a real black president listen to the fucking wolf getting his little panties in a fucking uproar because he can't get the get the you know can't trick this uh brain surgeon with his stupid semantics what a dick yeah i would have said he's a he's a black man and uh as far as being a president that's still up in the air uh i think he's a black man, and as far as being a president, that's still up in the air. I think he's a... Again, I'd say he did his best work when he was working for Acorn.
Starting point is 00:30:51 That would have been the answer. But you hear Wolf getting his panties in an uproar? That's right, Wolf, you bitch. That's right, Wolf, you bitch. Again, you know, we're dealing with semantics. As you know, I'm the last person who wants to play around with semantics and political correctness. You know, Rupert Murdoch said what he said. He apologized because a lot of people took it the wrong way. Of course. I think there's so many more important issues to deal with.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Because there's a whole history of these kinds of accusations, as you well know, President Obama. Was he born? Do you believe he was born in the United States? I do believe that. Do you believe he's a Christian? He says he is. I know he says he is, but do you believe he is? I have to take him at his word. Why can't you just say he's a Christian? Why can't you answer the question the way I thought you'd answer the question, Dr. Carson? Why can't you? Imagine you're trying to take a guy who rose from poverty to become a great pediatric neurosurgeon, head of John Hopkins of that department,
Starting point is 00:32:02 and trying to make him out to be an ignorant fucking fool. Well, Blitzer, you are an ass muncher. Shave that beard, you big fucking girl. The church, he believes in Christ. I can't just simply say he's a Christian. I can simply say that I'll take him at his word.
Starting point is 00:32:21 Okay, I guess I'll have to accept that. I want you to clarify the issue of Muslim president in the United States. Do you hear these questions? These are real relevant to what's going on in the world. There should be no religious qualifications to becoming president of the United States. I agree. I have no disagreement with that. So explain why you
Starting point is 00:32:37 said you don't think there should be a Muslim president. If you heard the whole conversation, I said previous to that, that anybody from any background, religious or otherwise, who accepts the values of America and is willing to put our Constitution above their beliefs is fine with me. He did say that. He's clarified that this has happened three weeks ago and is still harping on it. Just a fucking you should be shameless and it continued in another vein bringing up somebody who perhaps did not fit into that category well if they don't fit into that category
Starting point is 00:33:16 because of their belief system uh and in this case uh the assumption being that they are islamic believers part of the islamic belief system is a lifestyle, not just a simple religion, includes Sharia. Now, there are components of Sharia that will place any religion that is not the same as theirs in a category of people they call the kafir. You can do anything you want to those people, and you can put them into an inferior position. You can also put women into an inferior position. You can also...
Starting point is 00:33:52 Yeah, but Ben, aren't you Islamophobic? Aren't you a racist, Ben? You're hitting me with facts here. I can't handle them facts. This is not what we want at CNN. Or people caught in adultery and a host of other things. These things are not compatible with our Constitution. If somebody can show me how they are compatible, I'll change my mind.
Starting point is 00:34:11 But if a Muslim American citizen says he wants to honor the Constitution, obey the Constitution... Then they fit into the previous category where I said I have... Are you not understanding what he said, you bearded dick? Just want to make sure that we're all on the same page. Yeah, what page is that the liberal cnn page you fuck face whatever religion you are or if you're an atheist for that matter you can become president of course of the united states yeah i'm glad we clarified that numb nuts like i'll say it again i have more respect for msnbc than cnn because at least msnbc
Starting point is 00:34:41 is like yeah this is what we are we're not trying to hide it but cnn tries to pass themselves off as like neutral and that's the other thing how much do you fucking hate when you're in the airport and it's always cnn blaring ted ted turner has every every every crowded terminal across the country well I think it's Delta terminals, actually, whatever. But that's my biggest fear, having to die in a crash. My last person I see on TV is a wolf blitzer. What a douche.
Starting point is 00:35:16 But do you think he's black? Do you think he's Muslim? Do you think Hillary Clinton is a fucking criminal? Why don't you ask another Democrat that? I can't wait for this debate tonight. It's between that and watching baseball.
Starting point is 00:35:30 It's going to be hilarious. Bernie Sanders, another one. He was on the Sunday shows. Completely out of his fucking mind. Pushing socialism, which has never worked anywhere, ever. But I like his authenticity he's a he's a kind of a cranky cantankerous guy who believes what he believes and doesn't give a fuck what you think about him it's it really is refreshing but i mean you talk about a weak lineup
Starting point is 00:35:58 oh my god no wonder why they're praying praying for biden to get in. All of a sudden, Biden's considered, this guy's, he's lost twice already running for president. It's a fucking dope. I mean, you heard the comments. I wonder if Wolf Blitzer will say to him, now, what did you mean when Obama first ran for president and you said he was clean and articulate as far as a black man goes? You think Wolf will hound him on that? Anybody? I doubt it but uh yeah so watch that tonight if you have time by the way uh before i forget we this saturday night october 17th i'm at the gramosy theater in new york Please, if you're in the area, please. I need a nice
Starting point is 00:36:46 turnout. Otherwise, I'm quitting. I'm going to make canoes in my garage and sell them to the indigenous people. The six that are left. I need a nice house tonight. Saturday night. I really fucking don't. Please come out if you're in the Tri-State area or if you're up
Starting point is 00:37:01 Lake Owasco. Come on down just ah yes where else i guess i should plug before i move on with the show right in the middle of the show probably at the end be the smartest thing but uh also then i get three gigs well the 24th which is a week from this saturday i'll be at the uh sports haven in new haven connecticut it's actually a casino it's a nice gig uh november 4 which is a week from this Saturday, I'll be at the Sports Haven in New Haven, Connecticut. It's actually a casino. It's a nice gig. November 4, excuse me,
Starting point is 00:37:29 November 5, 6, 7, Magoobies, right outside of Baltimore. And November 12, 13, and 14, the Comedy Club of Rejectionville, Florida. And the 28th, November, Suffolk Theater, Riverhead, New York. Back to the show.
Starting point is 00:37:44 I'll do that again at the end the uh the uh the the the what else oh the fucking i was laughing at the post more more left loony lunacy just fucking uh the city new york city that has hired a group called playworks to run, get this folks, to run recess at five elementary schools to teach kids how to play nicely. Under the program, students are tagged with tickles and no child is out. You're just unsuccessful in tag. You fucking believe this? They're monitoring. They got people monitoring your kids at recess.
Starting point is 00:38:26 What the fuck the city has hired recess coaches to teach kids how to play nicely department of education has forked over 425 grand in taxpayer money to the california by the way another group it's uh non-profit playworks out of Berkeley. Where the fuck else? If we get hit again, please, ISIS, start with Berkeley. Could you please start there? Please. I beg of you. Under Playworks schoolyard rules, no child is out.
Starting point is 00:38:58 They are merely unsuccessful. I'd rather be out than unsuccessful. Unsuccessful people end up on drugs and taking a shit on a park bench. Would you rather be out in a game of tag? You're unsuccessful. That's semantics. And to keep an unsuccessful kid involved, coaches will have him or her do a few jumping jacks. Or take on another role, such as cheerleader.
Starting point is 00:39:28 How's that sit with you guys? If your kid gets tagged out, he can cheerlead for the rest of the game. Get him a skirt and some pom-poms and maybe sew a clit on him while you're at it. Are you fucking sticking me? Schoolyard conflicts? They're settled with a round of rock, paper, scissors. I'm guessing Obama must have had this type of training.
Starting point is 00:39:53 Didn't he do that with Putin this weekend? Last week when they met in Syria? When they met the UN? They were arguing about no-fly zones. Didn't President Obama say, let's do rock, paper, scissors?
Starting point is 00:40:07 And then Putin gave him a fucking atomic wedgie until he ripped a little bit of Obama's labia. What the fuck? Schoolyard conflicts, they settle with a round of rock, paper, scissors. I'll see you at three o'clock in the schoolyard and bring your fingers. Left lunacy. Leftist fucking faggotry lunacy. The primary aim is to get all children playing together
Starting point is 00:40:37 regardless of clicks. We try to make everything as inclusive as possible, said Kim McCall. Again, chicks are the ones behind. This is Chick Think. It's only chicks could find. I know guys are enforcing it now because they have to. But this is Chick Think. This is a feminized society.
Starting point is 00:41:00 Suggesting that you have to tickle somebody on the shoulder instead of tagging them. You're going to tell me that came from a guy. Really? Playworks says it aims to ensure kids have fun, stay active, fight obesity, reduce bullying, and keep focused when back in the classroom. Yeah, that's what organized sports is for, you dick cheese. No need for government to get involved. Un-fucking-believable.
Starting point is 00:41:23 You can't even make this shit up anymore. And then finally we get some logic injected into the conversation. This PhD Dr. Eric Hull,
Starting point is 00:41:40 neuroscience at the University of Wisconsin, he said this is harmful to kids. If you go your whole life with imaginary life being given to you instead of creating your own, there's kind of a learned helplessness in terms of creativity. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:54 I mean, you learn people skills when you're a kid, you know? And, you know, you learn to organize a game or, you know, you pick sides or whatever, and, yeah, and somebody might get their feelings hurt if the pick lasts or whatever,
Starting point is 00:42:10 but that's gonna happen in real fucking life. What do you think? Unbelievable. This is how much these people believe in government. Cradle to grave, literally. These fucking kids are, this is not even, I mean, they're like six, seven years old, and they're being taught that, hey hey you don't suck a tag you were just unsuccessful
Starting point is 00:42:30 can't wait till they get fired from their first job you didn't suck at being a bank teller you were just unsuccessful unfreaking believable why don't you let kids be kids Let them grow up, let them figure it out That's how you learn people skills on your own Somebody watching you Every fucking move Holy moly
Starting point is 00:42:56 I'm sure De Blasio has a fucking heart on Over this Don't you He's not even around, he's running around de Blasio has a fucking heart on over this. Don't you? He's not even around. He's running around. But, gosh, help us. Why is everyone so fucking stupid?
Starting point is 00:43:12 I have no idea. Why aren't more people interrogating like me? Like de Blasio. Yeah, that one just, they keep coming. There's stories like that. I could read 10 a day
Starting point is 00:43:26 you know but it gets to the point where it's like jesus christ just when you thought the insanity um yeah so we had um um now here's another one uh and you can find one of these every day, too. Again, from the Hate America First crowd, as they say. Student suspended after wearing military memorial shirt honoring his Marine brother. This is in Grisham, Oregon. Dexter McCarty Middle School student, Alan Holmes, Mr. McCarty middle school student, Alan Holmes, understands that his freedom is intricately tied to those who fought and died defending the USA.
Starting point is 00:44:14 His older brother joined the Marines when he was 19 years old and served a tour in Iraq. But officials apparently don't share Holmes' understanding of the patriotic spirit and forced the eighth grader to change his shirt that depicted a traditional soldier memorial or face an in-school suspension. He chose the latter, the kid did. The principal, I asked him, is this considered a suspension? And the principal said, yes, see you tomorrow. And so I left. The school officials told Holmes that the shirt was inappropriate because it contained a weapon and asked him to wear a school shirt. It had a, you know, it was a T-shirt with a rifle.
Starting point is 00:45:02 You know how when a soldier dies and the barrel's down and it's got a helmet resting on it? But because there's a weapon on the t-shirt. Imagine these are fucking grown adults making these decisions. Unbelievable. Of course, the school officials, they wouldn't discuss it with the media.
Starting point is 00:45:21 You know why? Because they know they're fucking idiots. And if it got out to the public, they'd be in uproar. It's it's un-fucking-believable to me. But these are adults.
Starting point is 00:45:37 These are adults shaping the minds. It's just I don't know where it's headed. Yeah, I'm 53. I'll be out of here soon when it really, when the shit really hits the fan. I might even be wrong there. It could be a lot sooner than that. The way things are going in fucking Syria and the Middle East and Obama's foreign policy. What an ass he has made of himself. Oh, he was minutes i was going to record those clips too but i couldn't i was seeing purple uh and and croft there was giving him a you know giving him third degree it was not any boy he gets petulant gets like a whiny little bitch he asked him about leading
Starting point is 00:46:18 from behind you know and he said that putin says that he's the real lead and he goes well president goes well if you call um running your the economy of your country into the ground and then trying to uh prop up a a dictator you call that leading then we have a different a disagreement with the definition of leadership is and he goes my idea of leadership is you know leading the charge on climate warming or something like that oh oh by the way turkey shot down a russian jet that can't be good it's a proxy war i hope you guys it isn't full-blown yet but turkey you, you know, they're an ally of ours. And they shot down a Russian jet that flew over their airspace.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Even they have more balls. We're officially out of the fight. Which is, you know, I don't know, man. I don't know. I do agree that, like, those Gulf states, those filthy rich Arabs, Saudi Arabia and Qatar and those countries, why the fuck, you know, I read this, that Saudi Arabia and Qatar and those countries. Why the fuck? You know, I read this, that Saudi Arabia has the third biggest defense budget in the world or whatever, military. So what are we, you know, I mean, what the fuck are they doing?
Starting point is 00:47:37 Nothing. They're doing nothing. But we can't just do nothing. It's unbelievable. Putin's eating out of lunch right now. But he's worried about climate change? Really? ISIS on the fucking march.
Starting point is 00:47:55 And yes, I have a slight tan on the back of my neck. It's so hot out. It's sweaty. Oh, God. Can't grow corn. your mother's tits uh yeah so don't wear any military garb but there's another story too about a two girls they were twins and their dad's like a i don't know he's in the military they they they had shirt they had clothing with Air Force logos they couldn't made them take that off too
Starting point is 00:48:26 can you fucking imagine no more Columbus Day don't wear any military shit it's all happening so fast by now you know in the perfect world there'd be a revolution going on there'd be fucking
Starting point is 00:48:39 but flat screen TVs and very comfortable couches are going to keep us from doing that and I include myself in that, too. You know, Nick, go out and fight. I can't. Like in Nebraska, I was on at 130.
Starting point is 00:48:54 But, yeah. What was the other great left-lonely college story I wanted to... Every breath you take. Oh, yeah. This is last week. I didn't get to it, though. But Clemson University, you know, it's in South Carolina. Every year, they celebrate Mexican heritage by putting on a huge celebration known as Maximum Mexican Day.
Starting point is 00:49:30 It sounds like a positive thing to me, doesn't it? Sound like that to you? The annual party is a favorite among Clemson students and faculty. It pays tribute to delicious salsa, the border cuisine, as well as Mexican music and dance. Oh my God, how racist. To celebrate another culture. What are you white students thinking? What fucking assholes are you? They're celebrating Mexican music and dance and food.
Starting point is 00:49:58 Isn't that horrible, people? The annual party is a favorite among Clemson students and faculty, but it won't happen next year thanks to two douchebag cocksucker i mean two students who took to twitter this year to criticize wednesday's event as culturally insensitive you know they should find these two students and um they should do a clitorectomy instead of approaching the students and listening to their concerns on an individual basis while the vast majority of students continue to take part in the respectful event, in typical liberal weak-kneed fashion, Clemson brass shut it down completely. is Doe Hollenbeck, D-O-G-H, I'm guessing that's Doe, issued apologies Thursday for what he called a flattened cultural view of Mexican culture.
Starting point is 00:50:51 Oh, somebody should fucking beat this guy with his own vagina. He continued his whiny baby liberal apology with, it is the mission of university housing and dining to create supportive and challenging environments that enrich and nourish lives no it isn't it's to fucking uh hand out delicious burritos and and and enchiladas and drink a lot of beer we failed to live out our mission yesterday we sincerely apologize. Oh, you fucking muddless fuck. We're celebrating.
Starting point is 00:51:38 You ever have Mexican food? When I lived in L.A., it's as good as anything. Authentic Mexican food. And it really is delicious. It's fucking unbelievable. But did you ever think you'd see... I mean, here's the thing, and I've said it before.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Other cultures, and here's where we are as far as political correctness, they don't want white people... If they could have it their way, you couldn't even say the word Mexican or black or Islam. They don't even want you to discuss in any context they they they would if they could have their way that outlaw you doing even talking about it in a positive night a negative whatever the context that's how fucking crazy he's got they're celebrating it they had balloons with mustaches drawn and and the kids were wearing sombreros and uh you know that's uh
Starting point is 00:52:25 you're making a cartoon of okay so what the fuck what should we do put on three-piece suits and top hats to eat our mexican fare it's called i come up with i call it the term cultural bullying is what it is it's fucking hilarious they can't get whitey out of here fast enough i'll remind i gotta remind you again uh white people are still like 66 percent of the population so we know you're in a hurry but uh you got a long way to go but um you know it's the brass once again the liberal uh suckers of satan's cock who run colleges campuses they're the ones who shut it down they just just you know reflexive politically It's the brass. Once again, the liberal suckers of Satan's cock who run colleges, campuses, they're the ones who shut it down. They just, you know, reflexive politically correct reaction,
Starting point is 00:53:10 just shut it down. Well, what if they said, fuck you? No, we're still going to do it. What's going to happen? You students have to take a stand too, you know. Two people complained, two. Two students complained. Two. Two students complained.
Starting point is 00:53:28 And that was enough to shut it down. So that's where we are. Two people can override, you know, hundreds of people. Wow. Quite a democracy. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Because. Why aren't more people intelligent like me?
Starting point is 00:53:54 Hey, that's racist. He said intelligent. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see Hillary out there again going, yeah. She keeps bringing up when she states what she's for, she keeps bringing up equal pay. That whole myth that women are not as paid for the same amount of work as men are. For those of you who want, you feminists out there who want that first female president, this goes out to you. That'd be funny if trump came out with this
Starting point is 00:54:48 you want to get elected trump play this at your next rally seriously throw some balls everybody's saying you're politically incorrect that's why i don't think you've scratched the surface you're gonna cut deep if you want to eradicate political crisis. I just got very depressed. I was just thinking I've got to work out after this. With Sean T. You've got to stay focused.
Starting point is 00:55:23 You've got to stay in yourself. You've got to stay focused. He's got stay in yourself. You got to stay focused. He's got some dough. He don't like big tits. He likes little asses. What a sports weekend, huh, folks? One of the best ever. That's why we love October.
Starting point is 00:55:49 Don't we? Don't we love October? I mean, you got playoff baseball, which is as good as anything, again, if you're a sports fan. Even the NHL started up, and oh my God, my Bruins are in for a long year.
Starting point is 00:56:04 They cleaned house, you hockey fans. Got rid of Lou Cheech, Dougie Hamilton, who I think is going to be a future Hall of Famer maybe. And I don't know, they brought in a new GM, Don Sweeney, who's quite a hockey player with the Bruins. But they got all these young guys and they get beat by Winnipeg in boston on opening night six to two p fucking you oh my god and then uh the canadian saturday i watched a little of that saturday was the we came back from the finger lakes on two hours sleep i nestled in like a paraplegic and just
Starting point is 00:56:42 college football playoff baseball, Bruins Canadians. Unbelievable. And then, you know, the NFL, obviously, on Sunday. But college football is just so good if you know what you're doing and you know what games to watch. You know what I mean? The you know what games to watch. You know what I mean? Keith Jackson. Oh, my goodness.
Starting point is 00:57:17 There's a fumble. Fumble. Great games this weekend. Great games this weekend. Real quick, top 25. Somebody said they like when I do this because, I don't know, sometimes they miss. Maybe they're up in the Finger Lakes being kept awake by chestnuts, and they don't get to see some of the games.
Starting point is 00:57:42 But top 25, Thursday night. Washington, who's unranked, goes up usc and beats number 17 usc at usc is usc is that the coach is he the coach that uh stepped down yesterday because he's been showing up to practice drunk and shit i think it is uh ohio state is number one in the country they beat up on maryland and uh they're still number one but they again they look weird they don't i mean maryland's a 2 and 4 team 49 to 20 tcu who like i said they were weaklings number two they went to kansas state and just snuck by 52 to 45 wish I saw that one number three Baylor that offense I think they could beat the Patriots
Starting point is 00:58:31 they put up 66 against a weak 0-5 Kansas team and they probably held back on the gas pedal I think they had 50 at halftime number four Michigan State was at Rutgers this weekend this is the one I watched and great football game was at Rutgers this weekend. This is the one I watched. And great football game.
Starting point is 00:58:48 Great game. Rutgers has got quite a program there. You know, a bunch of criminals, but so does every other program. Number four, Michigan 31, Rutgers 24. And it was. It was a great game. Great frigging game. I came home.
Starting point is 00:59:01 I put on BC and Wake Forest. And it was 3-0. Get this. Wake Forest with a minute and something left. BC drives down to Wake Forest 10-yard line. It's third and inches, right? It's a 3-0 game, fourth quarter. Only a minute and something left.
Starting point is 00:59:19 Third and inches. They do a quarterback sneak, BC does, and they fumble. Okay? And Wake Forest recovers. And you're like, oh, that's the game. There's a little, I think, about a minute left, a little over a minute. Wake Forest, I think, runs one or two running plays. Guy fumbles it back.
Starting point is 00:59:40 BC recovers. And then they have to rush to the line of scrimmage. A couple plays, they can't get in from like the 10. And then it comes down to like 12 seconds. The clock's running down to like three seconds. And the BC's quarterback spikes the ball, but you can't do that. There's a rule in the college. Under three seconds, you can't spike it or something.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Game ends. Game ends, 3-0. That was fucking crazy. California? California? They get beat by, California's number 23, by the way.
Starting point is 01:00:14 They get beat by number five, Utah, 30-24. Georgia Tech, Clemson, Clemson, all over Georgia Tech. Clemson's number six in the country. I'm surprised they didn't cancel the game because there was a big controversy about Mexican food on the campus this week.
Starting point is 01:00:29 So I'm surprised they didn't shut it down out of respect for the young Mexican people. 43-24, Clemson. LSU beats up on a shitty South Carolina. LSU's number seven. They're always good. Half the team gets drafted. Arkansas, Alabama.SU's number seven. They're always good. Half the team gets drafted. Arkansas, Alabama. Alabama's number eight.
Starting point is 01:00:47 They, uh, 27-14. Arkansas always plays Alabama. Big upset, Oklahoma. Number 10, Oklahoma went into Texas and got beat by the Longhorns. 24-17. Florida, number 11, Florida. Beats up on Missouri, unranked, which they should. And here was a surprisingly close game.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Florida State was number 12. You remember them and Miami used to be a killer rivalry. Miami's kind of been mediocre for the last decade or so. Florida State number 12. Jessica by Miami, 29-24. And then Jim Harbaugh and the Michigan Wolverines. Remember Jim Harbaugh and the michigan wolverines remember jim harbaugh he left the 49ers to coach at michigan who has been a really shitty team for the last couple years well he's
Starting point is 01:01:31 got them um they threw their third shutout in a row that's fucking hard to do in college football 38 nothing over number 13 northwestern and northwestern is not a bad ball club they beat stanford and and uh michigan took them apart at the joints. Fucking Harbaugh. I don't know why you'd want to coach pro and deal with millionaire babies and assholes when you can be on a college campus surrounded by young people and, you know, 20-year-old cheerleaders and still make five mil a year without dealing with fucking all those egos and personalities.
Starting point is 01:02:05 And 38-0 Michigan over Northwestern. They were number 18. I'm guessing they moved up. But Harbaugh's got them. They look like the Michigan of old. You know, running game, vicious defense. Good for them. You got to have some teams that are great, you know, if you want college football to be great.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Ole Miss stomped over New Mexico State. You know, if you want college football to be great. Ole Miss stomped over New Mexico State. And, you know, New Mexico, where they just got rid of Columbus Day this year. People's Indigenous People Day. So they took a beating from number 14. How's Ole Miss only 14? They beat frigging Alabama a couple weeks ago. Number 15, Notre Dame stomps all over Navy.
Starting point is 01:02:44 41-24. Here's another big upset, folks. stomps all over Navy. 41-24. Here's another big upset, folks. Tennessee, unranked, beats 19. Number 19, Georgia, 38-31. Georgia lost their great running back, Nick Chubb. But, of course, you know how Georgia is. One of those teams, they lose an All-American, bring in another All-American. Kid came in.
Starting point is 01:03:05 I don't know if Nick Chubb is out for the year or not, but they brought in his backup. I think he had a good day. Sammy Chubb. Oh, did you say that? Yeah, I did. Oklahoma State over West Virginia by a touchdown. Iowa over Illinois. Iowa's number 22, by the way.
Starting point is 01:03:22 Oklahoma State's 21. But in Boise State, they're number 25 in the country. They stomped Colorado State. So a couple of upsets there. But that fucking B.C. Wake Forest game, that was one of the weirdest things I've ever seen in my life. So you had Oklahoma, I think that was the big upset, getting beat by Texas.
Starting point is 01:03:44 And USC, you can't blame those kids. Their coach is, I think I'm right. He went into rehab today. But, yeah, there were some good ones. And that's about it there. That's about it, kids. I don't know what else to say. You had the NFL.
Starting point is 01:04:20 Wrote the commercial back, pushing the back on number 41 punt team this is watching the nfl and cbd touchdown patriots throw to commercial come back from commercial let's fucking make you crazy but uh giants pulled one out of the fire last night holy moly i'm coming in a little hot on the mic i just realized i have the shows all with about a minute left um yeah eli comes up against the 49ers kaepernick look a little better they ain't got much this year before that was a heartbreak of the 49ers, Kaepernick look a little better. They ain't got much this year. That was a heartbreak of the 49ers. By the way, last week, folks, I came in tied for first in the pool. I get beat on points by some lady.
Starting point is 01:05:14 I had 11 out of 16. About three or four of us had 11. And when there's a tie, you have to get the total points on the Monday night game. And some woman came closer than I did. So I looked up to see if this woman, you know, actually how she's doing in the pool. She was literally dead last in the pool. It goes to show you.
Starting point is 01:05:38 But Patriots, huh? Oh, boy. Boy, you guys, you Patriot haters, you really pissed off the wrong fucking coach and the wrong quarterback, didn't you? And what did they do? Did they cheat last night when they beat the shit out of the shitty Cowboys?
Starting point is 01:05:54 And in all fairness to the Cowboys, no Tony Romo, no Dez Bryant, but still, huh? Did you piss off the Patriots? Fucking Brady's got a chip on his shoulder a mile high he's throwing fucking darts and their defense here's what i'm excited excited about as a patriots fan uh for the last even the last going back to way back uh to like 2004 or 5 is the last time they their defense would at this point in the season
Starting point is 01:06:26 would be caught up to the offense. But the last six or seven seasons, the Pats' defense for the first half of the year, you're like, holy shit, we're going to have to put up 50 points a game. We always had like kind of a weak second. I don't see that this year. I'm more excited about the defense than the offense. They get rid of Will Fork, you know, the Coke machine with a head on it. And they're much more athletic in the middle.
Starting point is 01:06:50 They got linebackers that can run. And DBs, that Butler is showing that he's no flash in the pan, the guy that made the Super Bowl interception. But they look like athletic. And if they can stay healthy, he plays like a thousand guys. I don't know. Anyways, they're 4-0. 4-0.
Starting point is 01:07:10 And they're heading to Minneapolis next week. Excuse me, to Indianapolis next week. You think there'll be any hate there because of Deflategate? Oh, oh, oh. I can't wait to take the field and stick it up that goddamn Colts ass. Yes, sir. Yeah. And then quickly, baseball.
Starting point is 01:07:33 What did you think of the Utley slide? I thought it was a great baseball play. Shit used to happen on a daily basis. And once again, I guess, I don't know, Joe Torre, maybe him spending all the time in new york city he got that liberal pussy gene uh he ruled on it and suspended utley for two games and i have no dog in this fight you know a matter of fact i'm pulling for the mets actually against the dodgers but uh that was a great hard baseball slide to me. Yes, he started the slide late, but he was still within touching the base,
Starting point is 01:08:09 which is the rule. So, and what's his name? Tahara, but the Mets turned his back. He was making like a 360 throw to first. So he kind of left himself vulnerable there, and I thought it was just a good hard baseball play. It reminded me of back when the was it the Mets and the Reds I want to say back in the 70s when when Bud Harrelson was
Starting point is 01:08:31 that his name the shortstop got into it with Pete Rose at second base I don't even remember why but they got into a brawl I think it was a hard slide or whatever but it looked like a good clean baseball play and I was shocked I gotta be honest when they announced it out there you get two game suspension for christ's sake it's it's only a short series two games that's a little severe i know they're repealing today as we speak so um but i thought that was a little harsh i didn't think it should have been a suspension at all you know but uh once again we got to protect the players blah blah blah yeah we understand. They're also getting millions and zillions of dollars a year. So you know what? Let them risk their fucking asses.
Starting point is 01:09:09 But that's just the point Torrey would say, being a company man. We have to keep the stars on the field. Whatever. I thought it was a great play. That's how Chase Utley plays the game. I don't think he's even a starter anymore for the Dodgers, right? That's how he plays the game. And it changed the whole game.
Starting point is 01:09:24 It changed that game, right? Because they he plays the game and that it changed the whole game it changed that game right because they scored a couple runs after that that that eliminated a double play and uh it changed the series now it's 1-1 right was that game too I believe so so I think it's 1-1 there Toronto last night Toronto uh they were down two games and none. Yeah, Texas goes into Toronto and beats them the first two games. And then Texas last night, I mean Toronto last night, the bats came alive. Troy Tulewitzki, he is the fucking man, isn't he? Comes up and blasts one when they needed it.
Starting point is 01:10:00 I still would like to see, again, Toronto Mets. So that series is 2-1, Texas over Toronto. And then the Astros are up 2-1. So very exciting. Very, very exciting, would you say? And there's games tonight. You got the, you know what, tonight, the debate. If you're Ambien,
Starting point is 01:10:28 if you're out of Ambien, you can watch a bunch of crusty old white liberal fucks and that's what they all are. That'll be fun. That's it, kids. I gotta believe.
Starting point is 01:10:38 Again, come see me this Saturday night at the Gramercy Theater in New York City on Thursday. During the day, I'm in New York City on Thursday. During the day, I'm doing Colin Quinn's cop show. I did it last week. Got another whole episode.
Starting point is 01:10:52 And I got a lot to memorize. It's kind of scary. You have a good scene acting and then people want you to... But that's a fun set to be on. You know, Quinn, he's got this whole Donnie Brasco thing for me that's frigging hilarious.
Starting point is 01:11:08 Yeah, and come see me at Magoobie's, Timonium, Maryland, November 5, 6, and 7, Comedy Club of Jacksonville, Florida, November 12, 13, and 14, and Suffolk Theater, November 28 in Riverhead, New York. The comedy scene in Gillette Stadium
Starting point is 01:11:24 in Foxborough, Mass. How about that? December 4 and 5. Never been there. And I'm embarrassed to say that. As much of a Patriots fan as I am. But Hillary,
Starting point is 01:11:35 good luck to you with those big saggy bags. You fucking entitled criminal, you. And good luck with the Mexican food, Clemson. That is it, kids. It's a great song, isn't it? I'll talk to you real soon, huh?
Starting point is 01:12:12 Nick DiPaolo signing off. Oh, making a mess of this closing, huh? Excuse me. I won't take all that they hand me down And make out a smile though I wear a frown And the president is a fucking clown Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else
Starting point is 01:12:49 I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else Peace out, kids. guitar solo Bye.

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