The Nick DiPaolo Show - 108 - Paris, Black Lies, Rousey

Episode Date: November 17, 2015

Paris, Black Lies, Rousey

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Hello, I'm comedian Pete Correale. You may know me from the Pete and Sebastian show right here on the fantastic Riotcast Network. Don't want to hold you up. Know you're waiting to listen to your favorite show. But just want to say I got a Showtime special airing all month long on Showtime and Showtime 2 and Showtime On Demand. It's called Let Me Tell Ya. And if you can DVR it, go to Showtime On Demand, check it out. I really think you'll like it. Even on Thanksgiving night, 1130, there's a perfect showing at 1130 after you're

stuffed, relaxed, and frustrated because the lion's lost again. All right, Pete Correale, over and out. the Lions lost again. All right. Pete Correale, over and out. Thanks again. Later. And we're off. How are you, kids? Nick DiPaolo. Who the fuck else? I mean, you check into the podcast, you know who it is.

What's going on? Everything, isn't it? Liberalism taking a big blow, huh, this weekend? Might be the end of it, as far as I see. What a sad world, huh? Between Black Lives Matter and the cowardly terrorist attacks in Paris, and it just puts you in a really somber, doesn't it? Just a shitty dark cloud hanging over the world, and it will continue to hang over the world as long as we have people pretending they're leaders like President Obama. You sure did, you big dick weed.

You sure did. Who wrote this, Stalin or Marx? It sure was. Your way of thinking is over on a global level. Not just here in the United States. Falling apart right before your eyes. Oh, yes. Open

borders. Don't judge people by color or race, creed. Well, we tried it. It's not working. Gotta have a little bit of judgment as to who you're going to let into the country. It's just sad, ain't it? Breaking my fucking head.

I was in Jacksonville. When all this shit went down in Paris. Right before I was going to the club. I put on the nose ring. Holy fucking moly. But when I get home, I can't even remember. I have no memory anymore. But just horrible.

Horrible. I mean... You know what I'm saying? I got about 19 stories here. All just updates on Paris and whatever. And Obama speaking of the G20 summit proving he still doesn't get it oh my goodness gracious hell Louise you got the black lies matter in college campuses those shrill and again when I say that I'm not talking about the

black students because there's white fucking idiots standing right next to them these dumb liberal dopes who have been mind fucked don't even know it boy when you grow a little older and you look back i got some clips of uh black lives matter going into uh the we have some audio of them in the uh library at dartmouth kids just sitting there trying to study doing the right thing and just oh what do the parents think when they see this shit we sent that we're sending our kids to d school i mean they just must be like what the fuck i love it though it's all imploding all this horseshit is imploding all this stuff that sounds good in theory you know don't judge anybody by this that but really it's all just falling apart it's just

fucking crumbling even feminism took a hit this weekend when uh ronda rousey who was the poster girl or boy poster girl uh you know got knocked the hell out and i understand it was another woman that knocked her out but i'm just saying she was the one being touted as the best fighter on the planet. She's like Tyson, pound for pound, regardless of gender. She's the best. She got fucking smacked. Dropped like a used rubber. So, yeah.

Just, you know, my wife, my wife been to paris a few times without me i think she's got a boyfriend over there he makes crepes i don't know but i'm like go ahead get out of here but she keeps telling me we have to go over there i mean and at least a year ago i'm not going over there with all the shit in the world going on and Americans being the biggest. Yeah, let's go closer to that part of the world. And it's so funny. We always have these arguments every six months. Why we can't go to.

I hate to be right. This is a bad way to be right about it. But look, and Anthony Comia, I did his podcast last week and we were talking about the shit. And I think he actually referenced something like gunshots. You know, kiddingly, he goes, oh, what was that? I thought I heard gunshots, some shit, very prophetic. It's not hard to predict, though, I mean, if you follow this shit. I mean, just frigging horrible.

Before we get into it, I just wanted to keep you guys updated on this podcast. I'm trying to, behind the scenes, I just wanted to keep you guys updated on this podcast. I'm, you know, I'm trying to, behind the scenes, I'm pulling strings on the phone, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I want to do this, you know, three or four times, probably four times a week. And if I do that, there'll be a monthly subscription fee. I've been in contact with a guy who has the platform to do it, wants to be in business with me, feelings are mutual. And yeah, because on Twitter,

I always get these comments. Some guy said, can't wait to hear your thoughts about this, that, and something about get your ass off the couch and get a subscription model going so we can hear more of you or whatever, which I like to hear, and I'm trying.

I got a thousand things going here you know i'm a jack of all jerks uh so that could be coming sooner than you think sooner than i think gonna be on the phone today with a few fellas so uh then we could do this because i love doing this i love talking to you guys and gals and things in between and uh yeah i treat it sort of like radio, as you see. I like to talk about topical shit, and you're going to hear and say stuff here that you're not going to get on a thousand other podcasts.

And people have let me know that they, you know, even when I'm in the clubs this week in Jacksonville, people after the show saying, can't you do more shows? It's, you know, which is music to my ear. But, you know, I got to make a living. So I got to cover my nut. I mean, my coke connection with Henry Hill in Pittsburgh, he's dead.

So that's gone. Nice, nice. What a fucking nice. Anyways, so I just wanted to keep you updated. This could happen very soon anyways jackson comedy clubs of jacksonville that's where i was uh fun time down there fun uh fun to haven't been in that market in forever so uh but i had a great time with the comedy club of jacksville thanks for coming out and uh it's a weird place jacksville i get to hook

up with a buddy of mine he was a field goal kicker at the university of maine when i was up there in the early 40s a guy named jack leone and uh tremendous guy hadn't seen him and it's so crazy when you get to my age i'm actually i hadn't seen him since 1984 like a year after we graduated so i'm picturing i'm picturing him as he looked then like a dope and uh it's just so funny when you look at each other and he's looking at me going holy shit we'll be dead soon but uh he was quite a character he's the guy i talked about on a few podcasts he used to jump off his the roof of his house in quincy he lived in a three-decker he used to jump off the top of it into his built-in pool. And it was a ways away from his house.

His tailbone would miss the fucking side of the pool by about six inches every time. And then he climbed up into his neighbor's tree, which is his neighbor's tree, on the other side of the pool fence and jumped from there from like 40 feet. Just a fucking nut. And he's doing great, man. Anyways, it was just good seeing him and uh you know just hooking up with somebody like that it's funny you pick up right where you left off after you're over the shock of you know what each other's looked like and uh

and uh how long we hadn't seen each other but uh this guy was a he had a tryout with the giants of the patch he used to kick barefoot up Maine, so you know he was a fucking loon. But he was one funny cat and great to see him. Comedy Club is great. Saturday night, it was great because usually you have two shows on Saturday night. But they had booked some biker, black biker group that, I don't want to say gang. It's not a gang. It's a group.

You know, an event i guess they booked a year ago so i had only one show saturday night at like you know eight o'clock was done by uh like 9 30 uh 10 o'clock hang out and had a drink at the club and then me in the feature act uh went to um we drove around and uh i said let's go to the Olive Garden. Because you remember, I had a famous bit about it. I go, let's see if the Ziti's any better. The bologna Alfredo. So we went in there and just for fucking hoots.

And when you're drunk, you know, Olive Garden, it's like a fat chick. After a few, you know, a few drinks you know it's it starts to look and taste good so but here's the funny part the waiter so picture this i'm with my my feature act who's a black gospel singer nicest guy i want to meet uh james yawn i think his name was uh from orlando and couldn't we hung out all weekend. He couldn't have been nicer. He's got that gospel voice. Anyways, we're cracking up at everything. We go in there at like 10, 30, 11 at night, whatever. And just that alone is funny.

I'm in there with a gospel singer in Jacksonville. What an olive garden. What a life. I'm telling you, it's like being a rock star. The pussy and the breadsticks. Anyways, the waiter comes up to me, and now we get a Southern voice in there, the Southern accent. He goes, you're that comedian from The World's Dumbest Criminal.

I go, yeah, I was on there. He goes, dead serious. He's not trying to be funny. He goes, Frank Stallone. You're Frank Stallone. Ain't you Frank Stallone? Not even trying to be funny. He goes, Frank Stallone. You're Frank Stallone. Ain't you Frank Stallone? Not even trying to be funny. And by the way, Frank Stallone was on that show.

So he wasn't trying to be funny. He thought I was Frank fucking Stallone. And I went, what the fuck? I'm not Frank Stallone. I'm Sylvester Stallone. Give me more breadsticks, you cocksucker. Cracking up my feature act there, my buddy fucking falling out of the seat. This guy thought I was Frank Stallone.

That's how you know I'm really world famous, folks. And I'll tell you, the minestrone soup is fucking excellent. I got to be honest with you. You know what that is? It's what they call Gavone food. It's Italian-American. You know, if you put tomato sauce and melted cheese on a fucking flip-flop, it tastes good. And like I said, with a few drinks in you, I ordered some, it was called Giant Ziti Stuffed with Sausage. I ate it in about, I'm not shitting you, eight minutes. Burnt the roof of my mouth. Had to go to the Shriner Center. There's a benefit for me Tuesday night. Spitting blood all weekend.

And the guy thought I was Frank Stallone. And just fucking hooting and howling. There's where I'm at. Hey, yeah. I was very funny on that joke. My fucking brother was. I need Joe Mattarese. He does a killer.

Not even Sylvester they thought i was frank and when i was in my 20s i got sylvester stallone because rocky was out and i was young and fucking i'd say in about a year it's going to be jackie stallone that's their mother i'll be asked that in applebee's anyways had a great time down there. And just despite all the bad news in the world. Matter of fact, I came out and said Friday night, I said, I hope all this shit that went on in Paris puts it in perspective for the fucking idiots on college campuses at Yale and Missouri. You know, I'm like, now they really see what an unsafe space is. You fucking dick dick weeds. What fucking cretins?

And I see Bill Maher and TV going, who raised these little monsters? I don't know. But you're the hero, Bill. You're one of the heroes. OK, don't act like you don't think like they do. Wow. Finally coming around, huh? It's all the weed.

The weed slows them down. This is the you take that real far left liberal mentality you take it to its logical conclusion and this is what you got black lives matter isis you're like well how are you about isis anyways uh yeah and i love mike good. He's a great writer on the New York Post. He says the headline was time for Obama to make a choice, lead us or resign. You could have said that two years ago. But he says Obama has spent the last seven years trying to avoid the world as it is. He's put his intellect and rhetorical skills into the dishonorable service of assigning blame and fudging failure.

Amen. into the dishonorable service of assigning blame and fudging failure. Amen. He refuses to say Islamic terrorism, even after Paris, as if that would offend the peaceful Muslims who make up the vast bulk of victims. He rejects the word war, even as jihadists carry out bloodthirsty attacks and American and innocent people around the world die. He shuns the mantle of global leadership that comes with the Oval Office with an aid advancing the preposterous concept

that he's leading from behind, snubs important partners like Egypt, showers concessions on the apocalyptic mullahs of Iran, and calls ISIS the JV team. Having long ago identified American power as the problem, he continues to slash the military as the enemy expands its reach. In an accident of timing that captures his cluelessness,

the president actually declared on Friday morning the Islamic State had been contained. This is right before all the parachute window. Practically boasting in a TV interview, they have not gained any ground in Iraq and in Syria. He's just out of his element, you know, regardless. And I know you can go, oh, well, George Bush went into Iraq. That's what the left's doing, too.

They always go back to that, that George, like it happened yesterday. Like we hadn't settled things in Iraq and we had the troop surge and everything was back to normal. So I don't want to keep fucking hearing that. This guy just, okay, he hates, he hates everything that comes. It really is. It's not even, I really, I used to laugh at conspiracy guys and Illuminati guys and all that shit, but it really does feel like there's a script. It's bigger than Democrat, Republican, or just the United States.

There's a script being followed by 12 guys in a room. Obama was part of the act. I really, the more shit, the more stupid stuff he says, and the stuff that goes down, and how he tries to defend it. Can you blame people going, I think he's a Muslim? Well, maybe he's not, but Jesus Christ. I don't know what he'd do differently if he was an enemy of the country. I really fucking, I mean, it's all out there to see now.

Even after the, I don't know, man. I don't fucking know. But it does. It feels out there to see now. Even after the... I don't know, man. I don't fucking know. But it does. It feels like there's a script. And we got him at the G20 Summit. Was that today he was talking about that? Proving that he still doesn't get it. Talking about refugees and, you know, some people are like,

Hey, we're going to have to look at their religion. And, you know, before we let them in. And oh, my God, of course, that that fucking hit him where he breathes. This is what he said. And when I hear folks say that, well, maybe we should just admit the Christians, but not the Muslims. I hear political leaders. Suggesting that there would be a religious test for which a person who's fleeing from a war-torn country is admitted. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When some of those folks themselves come from families who benefited from protection when they were fleeing political persecution.

That's shameful. No, it's common sense. It's common fucking sense. We've tried your way long enough in this. It's common sense. See, one of the attackers was supposedly a refugee from Syria, one of the Paris attackers. We know that. And you don't think when we admit them into this country, and there's no vetting process. There's a guy on TV on the Sunday morning shows, a spokesman for Obama, saying, oh, we have plenty of people to vet these people thoroughly. Fucking complete fucking lies and horseshit. Do you believe in closing the border now people you fucking open border jerk offs ah do you believe in it now no trump like somebody said i think trump was just handed the election because they're already here folks the The FBI has opened over a thousand investigations

about ISIS in this country already. So how the fuck are you going to... Oh, we can't. We can't judge. It's unbelievable. It really is a mental illness. We can't judge them by their religion or their skin color. That's the worst thing you can do to a... As opposed to what? Tell it to France. They fucking locked up their borders. And by the way, you know, that's where opposed to what tell it to france they fucking locked up their borders

and by the way you know that's where we we trying to mirror that's what obama wants at western uh you know sort of a western uh socialized uh same thing as france and uh western europe you know they were for all open borders and all that horse shit but paris you know fucking locked those gates up toot sweet after these attacks and you know i fucking locked those gates up toot-sweet after these attacks. And, you know, I mean, after Charlie Hebdo, and I think they fucking had enough. Even they're coming to their senses. So you can maybe kiss liberalism goodbye in Europe.

And then maybe, you know, we won't try to emulate them. But no, he's out there, fucking right out there. He just doesn't fucking get it. No! No, no, no, no, no no no no no no no no no no no no not this fucking time no fucking way no fucking way no fucking way no fucking way you may problem you're the fucking problem you fucking doctor why onking jam rag arkin spunk bubble i'm telling you h you keep looking at me i going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time.

I love that. Doesn't it fucking... Yeah. Time to step down like you ever would. What are you, shitting me? He's probably thinking of a third term and it'll probably fucking happen. Like I said, they're following a script

and this country hasn't been brought to its knees all the way yet. Quick update, 129 dead. This is the latest update, 352 injured. Christ, there's over 100 in critical condition, so that's going to rise the death rate, I'm guessing. The first attack was 8- friday night at the soccer game um 80 000 people including the president of france francois aland and uh suicide bombing at the entrance guy had a you know vest on frisked by security so he stepped away

blew himself up killing killing one other person. A passport found with the name Ahmed Al-Mahad, 25, from Syria, was found nearby. Second suicide bomber, Bilal Hadvi, 20, blew himself up near Gate H several minutes later. No one was killed there. Nice job, shithead. Third attack was at some Cambodian restaurant.

Imagine, just people sit there eating, and they open fire on them, killing 15. That was at 825. It was a whole team, and it was well orchestrated, and it wasn't like a spontaneous video type thing if you know what i'm fucking saying and then uh right after that uh la casa nos to the pizzeria i wouldn't yikes uh they hit that killing at least five people then they drove a mile southeast the concert venue past the area of the concert venue to launch another attack at La Belle Equipe de Charent.

At least 19 people died after the terrace was sprayed. That was another restaurant. That was at 8.38. And five minutes later, Ibrahim Abdeslam, 31, set off a suicide vest outside the cafe, Comptoir Voltaire.

8.50, the third group, believed three men and a woman, armed with AK-47s, stormed the Better Clan musical hall and began shooting members of the crowd. Survivors claimed three blew themselves up, and a fourth person was shot dead by the cops. 8.50, a third blast took place near the stadium in France,

near the McDonald's restaurant. The attacker who detonated his suicide vest was identified as a 20-year-old French man living in Belgium on that attack. Saturday morning, ISIS claimed responsibility for the attacks across Paris, saying eight brothers wearing explosive belts and carrying assault rifles conducted a blessed attack on the French crusaders. Saturday afternoon, three people traveling in a gray VW Polo were arrested at the French-Belgian border when police traced the car after it was sighted outside the Bataclan Theater at the time of the attacks. One of the suspects is found carrying a Syrian passport under the name of Ahmed Alamon,

who traveled to France as a migrant through Greece on October 3rd. Anyways, blah, blah, blah. I don't want to get too, you know, bogged down with the details. But do you see? You don't think they, you don't think when we're going to start admitting Syrian refugees in this country, you don't think you already, they have, just open the fucking door, why don't you? Oh, this is unbelievable. Why don't you?

Oh, this is unbelievable. So, but the scariest thing is how many clues were missed. There's an article I found online. A series of vital clues appears to have been missed that could have averted the Paris atrocities. Iraqi intelligence warned U.S.-led coalition countries of an imminent assault the day before the Paris attacks. At least one of the terrorists was a Parisian who had been on a terror watch list for five years, but was not being monitored closely enough to be stopped before he took part in the attacks. And why is that?

Oh, I don't know. Political correctness, maybe? Huh? Would that be it? Why else wouldn't you? Political correctness. What, be labeled a fucking racist and Islamophobe? Well, what other reason would it be? Greek authorities believe that two of the government sneaked into Europe posing as a refugee from Syria, heightening fears that not enough security checks are being carried out on migrants in may in may of this year um concerns of security analysts that islamic state extremists were being smuggled into europe among refugees crossing the mediterranean more

than a week ago a heavily armed suspect was stopped in germany on his way to paris hidden in his car police found a terrifying arsenal including seven kalashnikov assault rifles, seven hand grenades. The destination programmed into his GPS system was Paris, but officers failed to alert anti-terror police. Well, they should be looked into, those fucking officers, shouldn't they? 51-year-old driver, a Muslim from Montenegro, was arrested and held in custody, but has refused to talk. In August french intelligence detained a 30 year old man on his way back from syria who said militants were planning attacks on french concert halls this was

in august prosecutors also said the terrorists used an improved explosive known as tatp which also was used in the 2005 bombings in london and were likely to be homemade with ingredients usually traced by the Secret Service. So it's not like there weren't a bunch of dots out there to be connected. Sounds similar to 9-11? But then you're going to ask yourself, why aren't they connected, you know? Well, political correctness, you know? You can't, look, let's not, let's be honest know you can't look let's not let's be honest you can't we there's no way it doesn't matter how tight security is you can't keep an eye on everybody everywhere these guys fucking like they say terrorists only have to be right once you know the fbi and cia they have to you know literally be around the clock be right a hundred out of a hundred times

people are going to die there's no way you can prevent shit like this, but you can't be dumb about it. You can't go, oh, fuck that. We're not going to, you know, I mean, Obama won't even say, you know, Islamic extremists. He won't even fucking say that. And the idiots in the debates, I didn't get to see him, but I heard a few clips, the fucking three. That's the best the Democrats could do.

Let me tell you, Republicans, if you can't win the white house for the next 40 years with the shit that's going on now you fucking oh my god you should be you just handed the election for christ's sake even people who usually disagree with you like fuck that i'm not going to be blown up in my own state but do you hear all those clues that were missed? How is that, man? It's creepy. This immigration agent, this is a guy who works for the immigration. He's an immigration agent.

And those are the guys that are on the front lines uh you know fighting to keep terrorists out of the united states um caseworkers and adjudicators they're on the front lines they're on our side and this guy works for the uh immigration agent union the national citizenship and immigration service council represents 12 000 dedicated immigration caseworkers who are on the front lines to keep terrorists out of the united states and this is what he has to say listen how creepy this is unfortunately in perisley overlooked in washington our caseworkers are denied the urgent professional resources enforcement tools and mission support we need to keep those who are bent on doing us

harm. In fact, this administration, meaning the Obama, has widened the loopholes that terrorists could use to gain entry into the United States through our asylum system. The administration has also blocked our partners in immigration and customs enforcement, that would be ICE, from enforcing visa overstays. The 9-11 hijackers got into the u.s on visas and now 13 years later we have around 5 million immigrants in the u.s who overstayed their visas many from high-risk regions in the middle east making matters more dangerous the obama administration's executive amnesty like s744 that he unsuccessfully lobbied for would legalize visa overstays and cause millions additionally to overstay raising the threat level even higher in the united states

there's no doubt that there are already many individuals in the u.s on visas expired or active who are being targeted for radical radicalization who have already subscribed to radical views no shit doesn't it i mean are you it's got to be it's a plot it's just it's all scripted to bring this country down i'm sorry he's a player in it many millions come legally to the u.s through our wide open immigration policy every year whether it's temporary visitors lifetime immigrants refugees asylum seekers foreign students or recipients of our visa waiver program which through our wide-open immigration policy every year, whether as temporary visitors, lifetime immigrants, refugees, asylum seekers, foreign students, or recipients of our visa waiver program,

which allows people to come and go freely. Yet our government cannot effectively track these foreign visitors and immigrants, and those who defraud authorities will face no consequence at all in most cases. Our caseworkers cannot even do in-person interviews, this is the part that freaked me out, for people seeking citizenship they cannot enforce restrictions on welfare use and they even

lack even the basic office space to properly function and then you get that jerk off on those sunday morning shows saying we have a system in place to vet these uh new refugees from syria and there won't be a problem that's a a very, just fucking lie into our faces. You can be fucking retarded and pick up on this. Ooh, I mean, mentally challenged. Ooh, I mean, liberal. Applications for entry are rubber stamped,

the result of grading, the result of grading agents by speed rather than discretion. That's how they judge if an agent's doing his job enough. How many people he rubber stamps and lets into the country. We've become the visa clearinghouse for the world, he said. Listen to this.

And finally, I would note, again, this guy works for the, he's on the front lines of keeping these illegal immigrants out of here. Finally, I would note, he says, the failed transformation computer system into which this government has poured $2 billion. This system is an attempt to replace human judgment with a rote computer program. It's like when you go to check in at a kiosk, like when I was up in Canada, you know, I didn't talk to anybody. Well, even they, even they were smart after eventually I had to talk to a human, but you go to a kiosk and are you carrying a pipe bomb? No.

Do you have a greasy mustache? No. Have you visited Yemen in the last eight minutes? No. Do you love falafel? You just check shit off on a computer. That's what he's saying here. This system is an attempt to replace human judgment with a rote computer program and has proven to be an absolute failure.

human judgment with a rote computer program and has proven to be an absolute failure the answer is more in-person interviews more offices educators and uh not to undertake the transformation of immigrant system by removing human judgment no shit really oh my fucking word it's worse than it's worse than we thought, isn't it? It really is. Even after 9-11, that's the thing. We have no excuse. I started a joke. Okay, so that guy works right on the front lines.

The National Citizenship and Immigration Service Council. They're caseworkers. And he just told you. Himself. So what do we do? Just stand by and watch this country get fucked in the ass? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I guess France. Last night they opened fire. They hit targets in Syria heavily. Imagine the French. How bad is it when the French say, we've had enough. Can you imagine? how bad is it when the French say, we've had enough, des cocksuckers. Can you imagine?

France bombed the Syrian city of Raqqa on Sunday night, its most aggressive strikes against ISIS. Yes. François Hollande, that's the president who vowed to be unforgiving with the barbarians of the Islamic State after the carnage in Paris. He decided on the airstrikes in a meeting with the National Security Team Saturday. So, yeah, they're blowing the hell out of them over there.

Trying to. the french defense ministry said in a statement the air raid coordinated with american forces was led by 12 french aircraft 10 uh fighter jets and had destroyed two islamic state targets in by the way they got jihadi john you know uh we blew him up with a drone that's just a little side light he's the one that was seen beheading people on videos. Well, he's gone. Nothing we can do about it. He's gone. Oh, you won't see him no more.

What else? Details on the attack. Four of them were French citizens out of the eight. Three brothers and a man who lived around Chartres, about 60 miles southwest of Paris. We know that. Yeah. The point being...

None of this happened because countries are too conservative and too racist about letting people into their... Open borders took a huge fucking hit. There's an article on that, too. with Paris now enduring the second major terror bloodbath in under a year, questions now being asked about how much longer both Europe's open border system and vision of a tolerant multicultural society can survive. How much longer? Are you kidding me? I think it's answered. See, that's at the heart of political correctness

and the lefties, you know, where they're multicultural and no society is more superior than another blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, well, even fucking Europe is going to change their mind on that. Designed to facilitate the free movement of goods and labor that is the economic lifeblood of the continent the schengen that's s-c-h-e-n-g-n schengen system has also enabled the easy transfer of both weapons and potentially jihadist fighters across the same borders no shit No shit. But over here, here we go. Already the governor of Alabama says, you ain't coming here, bitches. Can we let a few people into Birmingham?

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. That's his answer. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't detect a southern drawl on that uh fuck you it's not a

more cuban but uh oddly enough alabama governor robert bentley is refusing to allow syrian refugees to relocate to alabama after full consideration i'll do it in a boy after full consideration of this weekend's attack a terror on innocent citizens in paris i will oppose any attempt to relocate syrian refugees up in this motherfucker through the u.s refugee admissions program as your governor i will not stand complicit to a policy that places citizens of alabama in harm's way i started a job by the way alabama has like two people from foreign countries living there even even even like refugees from syria who are being you know bombed by a sob with chemicals they get to alabama like fuck this i'm going back i'm going back to raka i got a summer house there

people walking around with giant plastic cheese hats on their heads and goat hide um just kidding it's a beautiful place i'm sure but i'm just saying so i love it don't you love it it's always alabama texas too you know texas uh remember they had a few months back they had that cartoon drawing thing remember that and uh a couple of uh isis guys showed up remember and they were shot dead trying to charge the gates when they were drawing uh muhammad that drunk muhammad content uh governor greg abbott said monday he's the governor of texas he said uh basically the same thing when asked about letting uh refugees from syria into te. He said, Fuck you! Sounds just like the governor from Alabama.

Fuck you! Fuck you! Wouldn't it be beautiful if life was that simple? I started a joke. Given the tragic attacks in Paris and the threats we've already seen and knowing that everybody in our state carries 12 guns each texas cannot participate in any program that will result in syrian syrian refugees any one of whom could be connected to

terrorism it's just a battle see it's a battle of two philosophies. Obama saying, how dare you judge people, blah, blah. And then this common sense, which has been labeled racist and bigoted for the last 40 fucking years. But I think it was all,

it was all proven this weekend. Cynthia Lee, one dumb slit, as I call her, an immigration attorney in Austin, a titless wonder and everything that's wrong with the country, said advocates for refugees deplore this sort of announcement. Yeah, what's your point, Twat's own?

But Lee said Abbott's move was likely legal because resettlement policies are at the discretion of local communities. Yeah, they are, fuckface. Yes, they are, luckily. And by the way, the Republicans won like every election across the country at these local levels. So things may be turning around. I don't know. The governors of Michigan and Alabama said Sunday

they would similarly prevent such resettlements in their states. All right, finally, finally, we're getting around to some common sense. Huh? Hmm, hmm, hmm. I don't know, though. Texas, let me tell you.

Any shit goes on. Let me tell you. Let me warn you, folks, terrorists who are thinking of coming over here, that Texas might be the last state. I saw a fucking kid in a stroller, and he had a gun rack on the back of it. He was like five years old. He knew how to use it. You might not want to go there. I mean, the fucking waitresses at Hooters carry guns in Texas.

But go ahead. Good luck. This is where I'm happy this country is awash in guns. There's like eight guns for every person in this country. Good. Looks like we're going to need them. Looks like we're going to need them. in this country.

Good. Looks like we're going to need them. Looks like we're going to need them. I started a joke. So Alabama, Michigan, Texas. I want to see what my home state of Massachusetts. I wonder how they're going to lean. It's starting a little bit. Here we go.

Little headlines here from quick clicks whatever the fuck that is a muslim family said sunday they might be victims of a hate crime after shots are fired into their orlando house i'm gonna call the guy i work with this week and see if he knows this family a mayor and nahal al-masri said when they returned home to their gated community this gate's not working i guess uh, from feeding the homeless, okay. Of course, they have to, this is why this probably, this is probably why this made the news anyways. The fucking libs found somebody, you know.

As they came home Sunday from feeding the homeless, they, you know, sure, that's what they were doing. They noticed a bullet hole in the garage door and went through the garage door and into the master bedroom. bullet hole in the garage door and went through the garage door and into the master bedroom oh and of course then the council on american islamic relations that would be care of florida said that it's investigating the case with their attorneys to determine whether the family was targeted the american muslim community has faced severe backlash since the paris attacks said russia mubarak with care of florida there have been two death threats to local

mosques in central florida alone wow wow two whole death threats she can she calls that severe backlash imagine see where we are that's severe backlash to death threats in her mind that's considered backlash can imagine if we pulled shit in, you know, Pakistan or over there. Pick any of your hellhole Muslim countries. And, you know, if an American over there fucking did something outrageous, you think there'd be any backlash? She calls it severe. Two death threats.

It's unbelievable. We're the most tolerant nation on the face of the fucking filthy rotting earth. And we have just, they see it just the opposite. Whether it's Black Lives Matter or these douchebags. It's such a racist, bigoted country that millions of black and brown people try to sneak in every year. That's how bigoted and racist it is you can't kiss my fucking grits look not every we're not saying all muslims are bad obviously like i said i lived in queens in astoria i had uh i was in a predominantly there was muslims everywhere and they were good neighbors

and shit but you know what the night after 9-11 what did I see taxi driver with all four doors open in front of my building playing Middle Eastern music and dance literally dancing in the fucking streets so what's your point you know what my fucking point is and then on tough crowd when we shot the first pilot we went into some Arab cafe they They welcomed us in, but then, like, we tried to get downstairs. Colin tried to get on the stairs, and they blocked the stairs. Who knows what was going on? They're already here, folks. They're already here, for Christ's sake.

Get a super soaker, fill it with Clorox, and be ready. That's all I'm saying. Let's listen to some of the Black Lives Matter and those students who, even after the shit that went on in Paris this weekend, these fucking maggots. Well, I'll play the girl first that was upset on the Yale campus. You guys might have heard this by now. But, again, I do it once a week and hopefully more than that soon.

But, you know, the whole thing at Yale, somebody put out a thing saying, be careful not to wear racist costumes on Halloween on the campus. And then some professor, you know, rebutted that saying, we have a right to do what we want. It's free speech. And he was confronted by this angry, black, shrill chick. Listen to this. Tweet zone.

Quiet. For all Silliman students. Do you understand that? As your position as master, it is your job to create a place of comfort and home for the students that live in Silliman. You have not done that by sending out that email that goes against your position as master do you understand that she hear a condescending tone she's talking to a white guy who's her fucking natural enemy do you understand that who the fuck you think you're talking to you vile twat oh i don't agree with that

oh there's that linear thinking and that reasoning huh no emotion there probably having one of her heavy days and the guy just stands there and nod even when she's screaming how the fuck you not reach out why because there's cameras everywhere but just put both your thumbs into her adam's apple and squeeze the dog shit out of her that's not even a microphone that's her big dog shit out of her hired you I have a different vision step down if that is what you think about being a master you should step down that's not even a microphone that's her big yap oh is she a backup singer for Ruben studded it is not about creating an intellectual space it is not do you understand that it is not about creating an intellectual space

creating an intellectual space. It's about creating a home here. You are not doing that. You're supposed to be an advocate. You should be a advocate. That was a white fella joining in with her. You're supposed to be an advocate. Fucking big girl.

Big girl. He's a fag. Oh, don't call that funny. When you hear her, Franco, say that she doesn't know how to create a safe haven for her freshmen and still men. You hear that? Create a safe haven. Do you hear that? They believe in this shit.

Even after, well, this was before Paris, actually. But I'll read an article that says they learned nothing. They actually became more shrill after the attack this weekend. How do you explain that? These freshmen coming here, they think this is what Yale is? Do you hear the desperation? See, this is what's happening. You know why they're so shrill

and desperate and cry? Because this shit's falling apart. Everything they believe in is falling apart right in front of them. He just sent out an email saying, we can wear whatever we want. Can you imagine? Just resisting to their fascist dog shit

makes them fall apart. And they fucking, they lash out. They really are these little monsters, a whole generation. And this is an Ivy League school. This is our best and fucking brightest. We have cancer of the internal organs.

You hear that? They're gonna leave. They're gonna transfer because you are a poor steward of the community. Somebody yelled retweet. We are living in the fire. This is fucking. Orwell couldn't predict this. You should not sleep at night. We are disgusting. You should not sleep at night because you are disgusting. Fuck you. First of all, you don't even have the grades to get in here. You were fucking handed it.

You check black on your application. That's why you're at Yale. Fuck you. You should be at Howard, majoring in fucking political science. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you!

Fuck you! All right, that was a little loud. And he's just standing there nodding because he has to. He has to take it. He has to eat a big bag of shit from a fucking 20-something-year-old that doesn't know anything about the world. Y'all twat. That's the air being let out of their fucking argument.

Then the headline here. This is on the internet too. Campus activists in America showed their true faces during an international tragedy last night. They are the selfish spoiled children we always knew they were. People are just coming around to this now. That's what's so fucking funny. I've had a hate on for these people for 24 years. Meaning liberals on college campuses.

You know. But. Black Lives Matters and Mizzou protest has responded to the murder of scores of people in Paris at the hands of Islamic extremists by complaining about losing the spotlight and saying their struggles were being erased. They come right out and fucking say it. And it was a bunch of tweets. Listen to these mindless, and most of them are young black girls at the college, I guess. Maybe not even at the college. What am I saying?

These are just Mizzou people or whatever. People supporting the cause nationally, I guess. This is from Melanin Monroe at Neon Electricity. Racist white, this is what she tweeted, Blackjack. Racist white people kill me. You want everyone to have sympathy for your tragedy, but you have none for ours. Hashtag get the fuck out of here.

Hashtag Mizzou. You know what I say to you, bitch? Here's another one at Kara Hardy. in the fucking ground, I promise you. Not this time. Here's another one at Kara Hardy. Interesting how the news reports are covering the Paris terrorist attacks but said nothing about the terrorist attack at Mizzou. Oh, was there a terrorist attack at Mizzou, Kara?

Could you explain it to us? Oh, the make-believe feces swastika that probably some black student actually put up? The make-believe attacks with the N-believe feces uh swastika that some probably some black student uh actually put up or the make-believe uh attacks with the n-word which has been no proof up to this point yo fucking disgust yard uh oh uh here's uh at ray at ray bans that's cute i don't know what she is she has kind of an asian flair to her i can't tell it's a black and white picture i'm looking we can remember the tragedy in paris and still remember mizzou we are capable of multitasking both situations are equally messed up in her fucking mind being mowed down at a concert or just sitting there having dinner

innocent people mowed down that is uh is the same uh um that's the same as, you know, somebody being called the N-word. Those two things are the same level of malfeasance. In her head. I think that's moral equivalency, they call it, isn't it? It's the same thing. Somebody being called the N-word. They don't even have proof of these things at Mizzou. That's why I call it Black Lives lives matter and so does everybody else and the swastika drawn out of feces uh those those are as bad as as as doing that as bad as killing innocent people mowing people down with machine gun in her little fucking head that's been filled with mush

at uh whatever shit college by her guilty white jerk off white professors uh dar and donnie not to take away from paris at all but just how they're getting news coverage and the world's support we deserve it too can you make this shit up can you fucking make it up oh my god why is everyone so fucking stupid uh college and make it up. Oh my God. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? College. Why aren't more people interrogating?

College. White lib professor. They are upset. Can you imagine? From Khalid Bey, France is home to millions of black Muslims. In Paris and beyond, Islamophobia often converges with anti-blackness. Where does it converge? At the corner of Fight the Power and Die Whitey Avenue, right? Is that right, Khalid? Mia La Havas, Havas, Havas, at Blue Shock. lead mia la havas at blue shark disgusted at white conservative americans using paris

as a c black people your woes here with us could be more extreme but not surprised can you fucking believe it just i love it and i always said this the one thing that the thing that's less talked about in public is how much and this doesn't go for all black people, obviously, but how much they fucking hate white people. How deep that is. I used to argue with Patrice about that. And he wouldn't even argue back on that one. Yeah, I know, man. I fucking hate you guys.

But it's never mentioned by that fucking complicit media. They never, never mention it. Imagine if they reported every white person that was a victim of black violence on the news the way we do it the other way around. Can you fucking, just to put the world into a little bit of perspective, at least put in this country, their hatred for us, and it always goes back to slavery. Oh, that's a mature way to go through life,

pointing to something that happened 400 years ago. That's the fucking, yeah. So let's take it out on white people who had nothing to do with it. Look at this. This is from whatever, Dog Enthusiast. Paris attacks were terrorism. Black students getting death threats on their college campuses,

and then it says in capital, a supposed safe space, is also terrorism. A safe space. How did that catch on? Even with all the liberal douches, I can't believe a safe space. It's going to work its way

into our society in all facets, into the, you know, sports and music and referee. After further review, the quarterback's safe space was invaded. That's a 15-year penalty. Here's another one. Decolonize scientist.

And let's be frank. Those comparing hashtag Mizzou to events in Paris today are doing so to delegitimize black students, not honor victims in Paris. Here's Trudy. Again, these are most. Trudy says, invalidation of black humanity and decontextualization as an empathy, quotes, unquote, for Paris. Unnecessary. Try real empathy. Try licking my white left nut.

Yeah. Another black chick, Stacey Patton. Or maybe a guy. I can't tell. Bad picture. Look at all the racists on Twitter using the Paris tragedy to discredit black lives matter movement at home. So predictable. Then get the fuck out! Get out!

You don't like it? Get the fuck out! What's keeping you here? What is fucking keeping you here? Oh, that's right. It's the greatest country in the world. Can you imagine? Those are just some of the tweets. There's a lot more.

Just outraged. Outraged that people are more outraged about what went on in Paris than at the University of Missouri or fucking Yale or any other stupid things. Just outraged by it. Yeah, listen. Here's what went on at Dartmouth.

There's a clip on it. This was at Black Lives Matter. They went into the library at Dartmouth. It's just kids trying to study in there of all origins and just trying to do the right thing. And here they come, the protesters. Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Inside the library. Can you imagine spending that 80 grand a year, 60, whatever the fuck it is,

to send your kid to Dartmouth and seeing this shit? I'd be there with a U-Haul the next day going, Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Yes, they do matter. But if you keep this up, people are going to start to disagree with that concept. So I think you should change in attitudes. Black lives matter! Black lives matter!

Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Black lives matter! That's all they got. They're not even creative. Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Black Lives Matter! That's all they got. They're not even creative. Black Lives Matter! Black Lives Matter!

Can't take it. It's making me shit blood in the morning. I'm so upset. Hey, Obama, you've done a nice job. You're the real Unita fella. He actually has. I mean, if you're a lefty and, you know, far left alone, he should be a fucking hero. He's caused more dissension and he's got his head so far up his ass. It's fucking laughable. Makes George W. Bush, who I couldn't stand either, really, uh, makes him look like the fifth best president of all of them. That's how bad this guy. I started a joke that started the whole world burning. Sing it, Batch.

He's a friend. I started a joke called the Obama administration But I didn't see He's a fake That the joke was on me No, no I started to cry

Which started the whole world laughing Yes. Adam. Excuse me. This sums up our country right now, the whole world. That's what's going on in my head. Oh, goodness gracious, Heloise. All right, enough of the heavy shit, right?

Let's talk about two dick chokes. Uh, what? Two dick? What do they even mean? I don't fucking know. But anyways, it's beautiful. It's all been exposed. I actually feel, I'm sad, obviously.

You lose all these lives and shit. But this is what it's going to's all been exposed i actually feel i'm i'm sad obviously you lose all these lives and shit but this is what it's going to take you know trump must have a fucking erection but you know here's my theory on trump too last week he goes he's talking about when ben carson put that book out and how ben carson was winning in iowa beating him by a little bit he goes he goes iowa these people must be stupid he's directly insulting iowa now i might be wrong about this but i think his numbers went up in iowa this week even after that insult i might be wrong about that but i thought i read that it's like iowa it's like we're calling trump's bluff nobody thought he was serious about running for president but now we're like no fuck him he can say anything

he wants let's see if he can do it. Trump's probably looking at his number going, Jesus Christ. I thought Trump was trying to commit political suicide by saying shit like that because you do have to kind of win. It's kind of important, I guess. Not that important, but I think his

numbers went up after he insulted him. So they're calling him on his bluff. They're like, okay, you want to be president? We're going to help you. At least we're going to help you. See what happens. But, you know, now he feels vindicated, right? About his whole anti-immigration stance

actually looks frigging brilliant at this point. Sorry he took all this horror all over the world, but it's, you know, sort of confirming what he's been saying. Ah, my right nut is aching. God damn. I think I mentioned this last show. I got to get it to hernia. I can't go any longer. Like I said, I was diagnosed with it in 1999. I have this dull ache in my lower ab and my right. Now let's hope it's just a fucking hernia. I don't want to pull a John Crocker or Lance Armstrong. It'd be ballers. Fucking people sending me emails and shit. I actually have some heat going on.

What else happened while I was in injection? Hey, Ronda Rousey was beaten Sunday. Fucking reporting Was beaten Sunday. Fucking reporting his dog shit. It was Friday night.

Was beaten Sunday? What the fuck? They don't even know how to report. I know Melbourne's like ahead of us, but it's not two days, is it? Maybe it is. I don't know. Anyways, you all know she got knocked the fuck out by Holly Holm. Holly Holm is a New Mexico.

I think that's where she's from. She's a pro boxer. Like a Hall of Fame chick boxer. You know, boxer. Stand up and... She fucking let Ronda Rousey... And I'm so happy. Not that I dislike Ronda Rousey.

But you know what? She represents all the chicks over here. Look, she's pound for pound. She can even beat up guys and fellas. That's what she represented. Now they're going to see if they jump ship to this chick. But I, for one, was very happy when I found out. I think I have a clip, actually, of her getting smacked.

She tried to box this chick which that's this girl uh holly's uh home's specialty and ronda rousey the first couple rounds trying to stand up and which is i don't get it i didn't get that strategy you know um i guess she got her in a couple holes but holly home got out of those too so uh then holly caught her with like a straight left that kind of dazed her, and it spun her around. So Ronda Rousey had her back to this girl, and she throws like with her left leg, a roundhouse kick to her neck. Just knocked her out. Went down like a Kennedy. And then she got on top of her.

I hate when they do that. Once a person's unconscious, they jump on top. What is this, a fucking street fight in Detroit? But I saw the clip from another angle. The girl jumped on her, you know, after she was unconscious. Didn't really. She was like, the punches ended up hitting her like on the chest and collarbone. I thought she was pounding on her face, which is what they do in MMA.

Even after you're unconscious, I think they might want to change that. Just for optics, it doesn't look good for people who might want to keep it out of your state or something. But this fucking girl kicked her head like a soccer ball. Here's the clip. said joe rogan it was pretty shocking because i think her last three fights lasted a total of 64 seconds. You know, nobody ever takes her past the first round, hardly ever. And this broad just, and again, so they're going to rematch. I think the girl already said it would only be fair.

But you know damn well, Ronda Rousey is going to do nothing but try to grapple. Grab the other girl by her shrub. She's not going to stand up and try to box her the next time, huh? But that was pretty shocking. And I don't know, I get a real kick out of it because I was just tired of hearing about how pound for pound, like on real sports, Bryant Gumbel with his glasses at the tip of his stupid nose. Pound for pound, they said she's the best fighter, male or female. Well, she's not even that now, is she?

What else in sports, kids? Oh, the right nut. God damn it. I got to exercise after this, too. Jesus Christ, I can't fucking do it anymore. Keep an eye out. I might blow up like a toad in the next couple years. My phone.

Let's see. Of course, the NFL on CBS. How'd you do with your picks folks I hadn't I get seven going into tonight so of course the big game Giants Pats and well you know talking about NFL you get a we have a block in the back

that's all it is Sunday for three hours eight hours we have a block in the back again. How many times do you hear that? It's in your fucking head. Anyways, Giants, Patri patriots patriots go in there eight no undefeated and you know the history i don't have to tell you if you're a sports fan

that eli's had brady's number and uh coughlin's had belichick's number uh when it's counted for the most part so it looked you know this would have made the giant season again if they popped the fucking wet dream of the pats and uh they pretty much came damn close, I'll tell you. About a minute and something left, Brady gets the ball back and heaves one up on first down, and this defensive back for the Giants, number 21, forget his name, I want to say Collins, I don't know. Anyways, jumps up. It was just a floater, a wounded duck right down to him,

and he hits the ground and the ball pops loose. If he intercepted it game over now let me remind you Giants fans uh when you like to throw uh throw to my face how you beat us twice in a Super Bowl well one of those Super Bowls um the first one in Arizona there the David Tyree catch um same thing happened to the Patriots they were up uh with about a few minutes left eli on first down through a pass ready i always bring this up to asante samuels a defensive back for the pats at the time and it went right through his fucking hands this is with a minute and something left and if he intercepted it game over brady would have five rings by now and uh that's what

reminded me of this this guy dropped it he dropped an interception which gave pay you know the patriots life tom brady life you also have to bring up the beckham touchdown that was a no touchdown they said and i don't blame you giants fans i don't blame any fans the league is so fucked up they don't know what a catch is apparently you gotta have it in two hands sit down at a kitchen table, order breakfast, finish the breakfast, take a nice runny dump, go to school, come home, and that's considered a football move and a catch. But under the rules the way they are now, Beckham had both hands on it.

As soon as his second foot came down, but I'm telling you, this is my theory on this. Nobody else has said it. Beckham, I'm telling you, he started to hold the ball out with two hands. He was about to celebrate. I'm telling you, because is my theory on this. Nobody else has said it. Beckham, I'm telling you, he started to hold the ball out with two hands. He was about to celebrate. I'm telling you, because he thought it was a touchdown. If you watch, as soon as he had possession of that, he starts to push the ball. It looked like he was ready to go into a celebration.

Just a split second, and Malcolm Butler reaches around, who is unbelievable. This guy, this Malcolm Butler, folks, he was a fucking free agent. He walked on tryout. He walked on as a free agent, which is a one in a thousand chance when you do that. This guy is covering Beckham, and they have to be talking about him on TV today. I don't watch TV. I read. No, I'm sure they're talking about what a cornerback this guy is.

Anyways, and then the Pats get the ball back. And so you had that guy drop that interception. You had Beckham's touchdown taken back. Beckham, you know, in the paper saying, I lost the game today. I don't really blame him. In the old days, if you had your hands on the ball for fucking more than two seconds, that's what they should go back to, to take all the confusion out of it. The reason they have the rules the way they are today is to make it easy on the refs. What they're saying basically, if the ball comes out at any time in the process, if the guy doesn't run five yards, I'm just paraphrasing, they're trying to make it easier on the refs if the ball comes out at all during the process.

But back in the day, you had two hands around it for like a couple seconds it's like pornography you don't know until you know what it is when you see it so you know Beckham had a possession of that look up the word control for Christ's sake I'm actually defending uh Beckham on this one and uh I'm just saying they they have to they have to straighten that out and i say you go back to the old world the guy's hands are around it you know what control is when you see it right when you have your hands around your girlfriend's neck that's control like she she has her hands around your neck that's possession i'm just saying anyways and then it comes fourth down and and and fourth and like 10, right, here's another

chance for the Giants, the Pats don't make it, but, you know, my God, my God, when I say my God, I don't mean, you know, God, God, Allah, I mean, I mean, my God, Tom Brady, what's he do, hits Amendola, who was unbelievable yesterday, over the middle, on fourth down and 10. If they don't make it, game's over. First down, Patriots. Oh, boy. Oh, fucking boy. And then he drives them down. He's just a...

He's like a machine. He drives them down. Again, with no Deion Lewis, we lost our best running back for the year. No Edelman, our leading receiver. And it's weird. I was thinking about him getting hurt right before it happened. Played the whole game without him, basically.

Amendola picked up the slack this week. But Brady, bing, bang, bing, bang. Works the clock. Just a guy. It's just unbelievable. And in comes Gostkowski, our kicker. We got rid of Adam Benetary and I'm like,

what the fuck are they doing? Because Adam Benetary is going to be in the Hall of Fame. And we replaced him with this guy who is even better. He might be better than Benetary, dare I say. The guy hasn't missed.

He's got a streak going. I don't even know what it's at. And I'm thinking, I'm like yesterday, this is where it ends. The streak. You know how that works. 54 yards, folks. Not in a dome.

Not in a fucking dome where the air is controlled and there's no wind and you can kick it 100 yards, some of these guys. No, this is an outdoor stadium. Little bit of fucking wind. 54 yards away. This guy comes in, and I know it's a regular season game and whatnot, but he just comes in. And where the hell is it? And he does this. This from 54.

Gostowski's kick. It's good. Was it ever. And the Pats stay undefeated. I can't help it, folks. I got to brag. Come on. Me and Billy Burr. and a few other Boston.

What a football game. Regardless, Eli Manning played his tits off, man. Played his tits off. I actually pulled the statistics. And then I put on Twitter, you know, I always put up a next or whatever, and people respond. And I said we did it without a running back, a leading tackler, without Edelman, without two starting line.

And, of course, the Giants fans come back. We had five or six starters out, but not the impact players, not your leading rusher, not your leading tackler. Our boy Collins on defense, who's probably the most underrated guy on defense. So underrated, I can't even remember his first name at this point. I'm so excited. He didn't even play. And Justin Vollmer, offensive tackle or guard,

he's an all-pro. Edelman, a fucking leading receiver, gone. Deion Lewis, the best find the Pats had at running back in a few years, tore up his. He's out for the season. So it really was impressive. And I know the Giants, I know. I'm aware that Victor Cruz didn't play and blah, blah, blah.

But not all those guys that you guys that were hurt yesterday were impact players like the Pats. So I think it's going to be tough. I don't know. But that's the thing about Belichick. That's the point. He just plugs in people. Well, we got a guy who was driving an Oscar Mayer Wiener truck two weeks ago

and putting him at wide receiver. He just, it's unbelievable. But the Giants played a hell of a game yesterday. That was one exciting NFL game. Only 19 pushes in the backs. And New England had 22 first downs. The Giants had 21. We turned the ball over twice.

The Giants only once. Patriots had the ball. Time possession, 31 to 28. That's kind of overrated. It's what you do with the ball. It's what you do with the fucking ball. I'll send how it counts. Total yards.

Pats 406. Giants 422. Again, that's a boy Collins. But, yeah. Yeah. Passing yards. Giants 342. Brady 329.

He was 26 of 42. And Eli was 24 of 44. Jesus, okay? In the NFL, you've got to watch it. You're over-officiating your games. Eight penalties by the Giants for 49 yards. Seven by the Pats for 93 yards. What did they commit, a rape?

93? What did they do? Holy Christ. Anyways, one hell of a football game. Peyton Manning, I guess he's got a foot injury, but he threw four interceptions yesterday. Had a total of 35 yards. He actually got benched after he broke some record.

Might be it for the fella. But look, Green Bay lost to Detroit in Green Bay. So they're a bunch of phonies. Cincinnati is still undefeated, I think. Us and the Pats and Carolina, I believe. But come on. We got to get healthy, though. We got to replace whatever.

Anyways, it was a great game. Great frigging game. What else in sports? I don't know. I was on the road. Didn't see much college football and shit. Didn't get to, but I'm sure it was great. I make these sacrifices.

By the way, Delta Airlines sucks a bag of fucking ass cheese. Okay? They had the worst on-time record last year. And I can't remember the last time. And you're like why do you take it because some cities you have no choice depending on where you live i'm not going to connect in fucking mississippi to get to jacksonville so you know whatever so i had to take delta out of la guardia it was the easiest cheapest blah blah blah you all know the stories

and uh you know naturally two hours and 20 minutes late leaving Jacksonville. They suck. They don't give a fuck. And then we landed so late that instead of landing at a normal gate, they had to, you know, send one of those buses

that you see like the Nazis used to use, you know, stack a bunch of Jewish people on, one of those fucking things to bring us to the gate. That's what you want after you've been sitting.

They actually had us board the plane on time. So then we were sitting there for two fucking hours. I was holding one in the chamber for about two hours. You know, it was that Olive Garden breadstick slash ziti combination, trying to make an exit as I squeezed my ass cheeks together for two hours and then another two hours on the flight for a total of four hours. So I'll have to go to the doctor today, and they're going to use some dynamite to get it loose. Anyways. I started a joke. That's it.

Probably forgetting something important, but I think I covered all the shit about the world falling apart, and that was the important thing wasn't it kids although my my friend sent me this uh a great big world to want a few more gay love songs a great big world's chad king i don't even know what it is i don't even know a great big i didn't have time to look at them opened up about the experience of working on the pop rock duo's new single oh Oh, they're a pop rock duo. That's who A Great Big World is. Hold Each Other. That's the name of the song, which is a love song featuring lyrics performed by a man to another man.

Yeah, what's the big deal? I'm saying 1966. Who cares? He's a fag. Oh, stop with that. There's no need for that type of talk, Tony. Even though he's been out for eight years, King told Huffington Post, Jesus Christ, do they ever leave it alone?

This week that co-writing the song with a great big world's other half, Ian Axel, he's straight, by the way, was very much a personal challenge. I grew up in a very small town in Florida where there was not one gay person. No such thing. And I didn't meet another gay person until I came to New York for college, where I was covered in semen. No. When I would write, I don't know, the female pronoun would be the go-to pronoun no matter what,

because that was just what I knew. King admitted that his struggles may have been indicative of internalized homophobia. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck? What? No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! What does that mean?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! Not this fucking time! No fucking way! No fucking way! Exactly. No fucking way! No fucking way, mate!

My God. Internalized homophobia. Mine's not internalized. I put it right out there. No, I'm kidding. Yeah. He admitted his struggles may have been internalized homophobia brought on by growing up in an environment where he felt like he didn't fit in.

What are you, fucking Herbie on Misfit Island? I want to be a dentist. I want to gobble goo. Yeah, okay. want to be a dentist kubu i want to go uh yeah okay who fucking feels like they fit in when they're growing up jesus christ all right i didn't have any really he says i didn't even realize i had any sort of homophobic thoughts to begin with until the song came out about he said it was a very big deal for me and i'm so proud to stand behind it now well of course you want to stand behind it naturally um

but it's true like the uh it's it's funny i i used to have a bit i can't even remember though like elton john and shit you know and when i was a kid and he was the biggest thing on the earth and and then you know you found out he was gay and, you know, Daniel song just seemed different to me, whatever, but it still gives a fuck. Elton John's my favorite, uh,

musician of all time. And, uh, so they want more songs, I guess, with, uh, men singing to men.

Who's going to fucking notice at this point? You know, people getting shot up by terrorists. I don't care, do you? As long as the song's terrific. Listen, this is my favorite group of all time right here. I put these guys a little ahead of Elton John. Oh, God. I wrote these lyrics Till it hurts

To Tom Brady I know you hurt too But what else can we do He's a friend So make sure that tongue apart I wish I could carry I dated Brady for a few weeks You guys don't know about this

For times when my life Seemed so low Fuck you! Fuck this. Fuck you! Fuck you! Alright. I gotta get out of here. Holy shit, an hour and 20 minute show.

Anyways, kids, thank you Jacksonville again. Go out to the comedy club of Jacksonville. Dates. God, my right nut's ringing like a bell right now. Dates coming up. the suffolk theater

riverhead new york november 28th it's a saturday night i love that gig i put out like a dirty whore on that one so come see me and uh the comedy scene uh at the home of the world champion new england patriots in foxborough mass the. The comedy scene, Friday, December 4 and 5. Absolutely. They're playing the Eagles at 4.30. I might stay for that one if I can get a ticket. But I don't want to go alone like a big girl. You know what I mean?

January, Levity Live. That's right over the Tappan Zee Bridge. I want to say the Palisades Mall. I should know. It's 12 minutes from my house. Then Zaney's. By the way, January 8 and 9, Liberty Live. January 14, 15, and 16.

On the 14th of January, I'll be at Zaney's downtown. And then on the following night, the 15th, in Rosemont, Illinois. And then on the 16th, Saturday night, Rosemont, Illinois again, which is right outside of there. and then the 23rd of january the sports haven in new haven connecticut oh i'll tell you that one got canceled last time remember for uh you know showbiz things all right kids uh that's about it god bless paris hang tough be vigilant out there. Prejudge everybody. I'll say it again.

Prejudge everybody. Prejudge everybody. It saves you a lot of time and lives at some point. That's my message to Obama. Good night until we meet again. Remember this? Adios. Au revoir. I'll be to say. Good day, kids. Remember this?

Good day, kids. guitar solo I'm out.