The Nick DiPaolo Show - 114 - J.E.T.S., Misgendering, Wasserman-Schultz, Dave Henderson

Episode Date: December 28, 2015

J.E.T.S., Misgendering, Wasserman-Schultz, Dave Henderson 

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Hi kids, how y'all doing out there, hi? Sure, it's still the holidays. Johnny, kick it in, baby. How was your Christmas? Mine was terrific. I got two pair of jeans at $188 a piece. Merry Christmas. ever try to go to the gap and try on jeans you know if you're a theater major there's no problem everything fits you but god forbid you did two squats in your life and maybe had a protein shake i get an ass like a young black female so i can't get fucking jeans past my thighs the only ones i can find are these like designer this designer guy or girl I don't know what he is

but they don't look designer they look normal but I'm just saying right Johnny and yeah so the wife gets me a couple pair of those shirt at the gap sweats really does suck as an adult doesn't it as a kid I Shirt at the gap. Sweats.

Really does suck as an adult, doesn't it? As a kid, I... Best gift I ever got, I think it was a Daisy air rifle. I told you, I had my buddy Robbie Sear. I took off my shirt, and I said, I'm going to run down the driveway. I want you to shoot me in the back. This was a Daisy pellet slash BB gun that if you pumped it 10 times,

you could, you know, you could take down a fucking rhino with it. I said, just pump it once or twice, no more than that. So I'm running down the driveway, and I'm waiting to be shot, and I'm still running. I'm going, this motherfucker,

he pumped it like three times, broke the skin and my back but that was a gift still get that picture of me in batman pajamas holding my daisy air rifle and i remember getting a new york i was a fran tarkington fan as a kid when he was a quarterback of the giants that's how fucking old i am and uh i got the full giant uniform can't believe admitting that uh but they were on TV in Boston all the time. The Patriots sucked. And they never put them on TV.

And my brother got the Dallas Cowboys uniform. And we put them right on. Went out back. And my brother had him run towards me. He tried to hurdle me. And I cut his legs out. And landed on his back. And knocked the wind out of him.

And that was the end of that. Those are Christmases. That was fun. How about the time I get a Texaco truck? Oil truck. A little replica. Remember those? Those are fucking awesome too. I'm pushing that down the, uh, imagine liberals listening. Well, they don't listen to this show, but

they'd be shitting their pants. Really? You get an oil truck? Anyways, that spring, I'm pushing it down the driveway you know with all my weight on it my hands and it thinks locks up on me and i go face first and take the three three inches of epidermis off my face and uh knock my front baby teeth out and i had my school picture taken like i don't know a week later i get scabs on my face, no teeth. Looked like an NHL defenseman. Those are the Christmases that I remember that were fun. Before I forget, speaking of gifts, I want to thank you contributors.

You've been more than generous this month. Seriously, all of you. I can't thank you enough. Jonathan Keller. Johnny Boy, thank you enough jonathan keller johnny boy thank you so much uh julian nadoo uh big contribution and i don't say that sarcastically i mean a big contribution thank you so much julian uh really appreciate that Another huge one from Robert Darrow. Bobby D as I call him. Bobby, thank you. Thank you so much.

Joey Lazara. Joseph Lazara. I notice people like, I'm Nicholas, but I go by Nick. A lot of people like, I don't know, maybe it's on their credit card. But anyways, Joe Lazara, thank you so much for another big fat contribution. And Michael Corbin, I think it's his second one. And another two big ones. Thanks again, Michael, so much.

And Dave Harris, who I believe has contributed before. Thank you, guys. And I really do appreciate it. I don't know where you live and stuff. And I really do appreciate it. I don't know where you live and stuff. I'd like to come out to the show and I could buy you a round of Jack Daniels shots. And then we could chase each other in our cars in the parking lot after the show.

But thank you guys again so very much for that. And what else? I get a little bit of a cold, I think you'd notice. Sometimes I sleep in this guest room and I don't feel like going upstairs. You know, I've been married 20 years with the fucking, I don't know what I'm talking about. But not 20 years, I've been with her for 20-something years. But you know what I'm saying. Sometimes the guest bedroom's three feet away, and I'm like, mm.

All by myself. But it's a little chilly in there. Steam heat doesn't make it to that room. So I wake up and I can see my breath. It looked like the Vikings game last night. Hey, the Giants put out a good effort, huh? I feel bad for Coughlin, man. He deserves better than that. But anyways, we'll get to that shit in a few minutes.

Thank you guys again very much. What the hell do I want to talk about? What else about Christmas? That was it. Like I said, the wife's got the knee problem, right? So it's, she can't leave. She's got to do this machine six hours a day, two hours at a pop. And I'll break that down for you mathematicians.

That's three sessions. Anyways, so we really couldn't go anywhere. We were stranded, and her mother came down and a few other people, you know, a couple days before Christmas, but quiet Christmas at home. And it's going to be quiet New Year's, I guess. But she's up and about today she actually left the house on her own so this misery thing is over she actually got in her car and i'm like you sure

meanwhile i'm going i'm praying inside going oh fuck please say i can do it myself she's like no i'm good i'm good got the one crutch like fucking tiny tim cratchit. Anyways, she's out doing stuff. A little bit of relief. Anyways, I'm sure she'd do the same for me, right, fellas? Wouldn't she? Sure she would. Yeah, my sister's ass. Where do we want to start?

Let's get the boring shit out of the way. You know, I like to watch. We do a little politics here. It's not heavy politics, but enough. I can't help myself on Sunday. I have to watch Meet the Press this week with dried up snatch Martha Raddatz, or the Greek midget who's never there. But I got to watch those shows because because i again it's like a car crash

to me i the the bias the media bias if there's a revolution they're the first people we murder starts with the fucking abc nbc cbs cnn we just i just have fantasies about kicking the door in at cnn and just machine gunning these fucking douchebags same with nbc the nbc is the worst actually but uh what's her name andrea mitchell filled in that uh old broad and um she interviewed uh debbie wasserman schultz she's the head of the dnc you've seen that skank with the curly blonde greasy hair and just woe is me women are victims republicans hate women they they want to take away their health and they they rape us on the streets and they backhand us in their face and they pull our hair if we're lucky um anyways she just makes me laugh she's so biased

and such a fucking idiot and such everything that's wrong with this country that i have to watch when she's on so i got her being interviewed by Andrea Mitchell, who's, you know, about as left as they come. So you can imagine it's just a terrific show. And let's just listen to a little bit and make fun of it together. I don't even know what's coming here. Donald Trump is going to raise this issue as he is warning of Bill Clinton's past and sexism. Does that does that give you any pause as Democratic chair? I think that Donald Trump or any candidate on the other side of the aisle would raise Bill Clinton

as somehow a negative to their peril. I think every poll I've ever seen shows that if President Clinton were a candidate tomorrow, he'd be reelected. He presided... Really, Skankola? What polls are those here reading? Really? To their peril? Really? You don't think that when you cry sexism, when Hillary cries that, that's not going to open a can of worms? That the most ill-informed Republican voters could fucking see the hypocrisy in that. This guy was finger popping interns and one woman tried to charge him with rape and that skank down in Arkansas. And are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Do you really want to go there?

And then he's caught with some guy on some island with underage women that a very rich fella. And are you kidding me? And so you don't think that's fertile ground that's going to hurt anybody who's running against Skankola? Thick ankle dog face. Come on. Come on. Are you fucking serious? At that time, over the longest period prosperity uh sustained up to that point uh finished his term talking about how the economy was so great under bill clinton yeah he was he benefited from the dot-com boom and we all know that okay don't get me wrong he he's he he's way better than his wife and that he fucking reached across the aisle and did work with republicans

on his second term he worked with gingrich because he had no choice he was drifting far off to the left just like shithead in chief is now and like hillary will she she just you know she's gonna hate and this brought is just every this brought as woe is me republican just listen how much she plays the female victim card this is the head of the DNC, by the way. Very popular and continues to be one of the most admired elected officials and former elected officials and men in the world. What about sexism in this campaign? Donald Trump claimed that he was not using a vulgar term

when he said that Clinton had been schlonged by... Excuse me. I will tell you. Your take on that? Growing up in my house as a little girl. I never saw her schlonged, except my uncles. Or had anyone used that term around my grandmother or my mother, it would certainly have been considered vulgar. Yeah, those aren't the standards we go by, what your mother and your Jewish grandmother went and considered vulgar.

Yeah, you supposedly evolved. You're strong women now. Oh, goodness gracious. That was funny. There wasn't a Trump saying that she was schlonged. He probably didn't know. Knowing him, I don't know if he really did know. Even if he did, I just love it.

And again, I don't even really he really did know. Even if he did, I just love it. And again, I'm not even, I don't even really want him to be present. But I owe this guy a debt of gratitude the rest of my life for just letting people fucking know that, hey, can you let a guy be a guy and this is how we really talk and whatnot and just making people like this look silly.

It resulted in a pretty severe punishment as we received, any time we used a term that was inappropriate. Donald Trump, Marco Rubio, Ted Cruz. The larger issue on the Republican side of the aisle is that all of them subscribe to policies that are harmful to women. Yes, they don't have sisters and mothers and shit. That's what they want. They want to hurt women.

You evil fucking snaggletooth douche. Ugh, just insincere. Disingenuous. Call it what you want. Makes me ill. Just a blind ideologue. Let's move to the point of the sexism that has been led, the bullying by Hillary Clinton against Donald Trump, because I think he is in a class by himself as far as the way she is responding. He's certainly taken it to a new low. This is partly what he had to say about Hillary Clinton's campaign energy.

She does an event. She puts on her pantsuit, she walks in, no, it's true. She walks in, does an event, you don't see her for four days, five days. You know why? She goes back home and she goes to sleep. This is not what we need as a president. We need tremendous energy. This low energy criticism worked against Jeb Bush. It really hurt Jeb Bush. Is it going to work against

Hillary Clinton? You know, like I said, Donald Trump has been an equal opportunity insulter. He's insulted and vulgar about not only Secretary Clinton, but Carly Fiorina and Megyn Kelly. You could take it. You're strong.

You're strong, women. Outrageous. The deaths and how low he has allowed the campaign to sink. Eat shit and die, hog face. How's that for commentary, folks? Why is it working so well for him? Because the country's had enough of your fucking

horseshit. That's why you're fucking two dummies. It's very simple. Why he's doing so well in the republican field is because uh there's a lot of independence he's doing well with two you blonde headed bleach blonde fungus you never why is he doing so well yeah he's crushing people why because they've had it with your woe is me whether it's black, feminist douches. We've had it with that shit. We've had it. He makes fun of a handicapped reporter.

That's called being inclusive. How about that? We have had it with your horse shit. Time is running out on your victim politics. And I hope Hillary goes down that path. Well, she's going to. That's the only path they frigging know. And she's going to get slaughtered by whoever.

Just sitting there listening to these two dogs. And she's just throwing up softballs to her, you know, just throwing them up. Basically, it's this. It's two women who have never voted Republican in their lives. Isn't Donald Trump vulgar? Is it a rich white businessman? Is he an asshole? Can you just co-sign my bullshit for the next half hour before we move on to the next segment? This passes as journalism. This is where the Republican Party is today. They embrace the fundamental plan.

They don't believe in equal pay for equal work. They don't believe that we should make sure that women have an opportunity to make their own health care choices. This is not where Americans are today. Americans are where the Democratic Party is. Really? How'd you do in the midterms? How'd you do in the fucking midterms? I think Republicans won more shit at the local levels, local municipalities, governorships,

than they have since like 1902. They cleaned house in the midterms. Just swept everything. You're lucky if your party survives the next 20 years. This is how fucking blind she is. And again, I don't want to turn this

into meet the fucking press, but I can't help it. I'm into this shit. And when I hear bullshit, I call her on it it just sitting there just but oh god help us lordy wanting to continue the economic prosperity that we've been able to create bringing us from the worst economic crisis since the great depression, forward 69 straight months of job growth. And that's where we're going to continue because we'll elect one.

Yeah, yeah. 94 million people out of work, almost 50 million on food stamps. She's bragging about the economy. That's the... Get the fuck... Get out of here. By the way, I turned it to my De Niro character again

when my wife told me the price of the jeans. Because, you know, it's basically I'm buying my own gifts. I'm like, what did I tell you? I told you not to get anything too expensive. Get it out of here. Get it out. I don't give a fuck where you get it. Take it back.

I don't give a fuck where you get it out of here. And we had a good laugh. I came in the front door on Christmas. I pulled like fucking a dead branch I found in the woods with like two leaves on it. And I came in the front door and I went, I'm home. I got the most expensive tree they had. Of course, she was upstairs. She couldn't come down and fucking.

I thought she could hear me in that joke. Just lay flat to nobody. But I thought it was funny. She's up there working on her knee like Joe Namath. Anyways, enough of Debbie Mustache Schultz. I can't take it. Just watch some of that shit. You guys are into politics that listens,

and you vote like I do. Just watch some of that shit on Sunday morning if you want to get your blood curdling. It's hilarious. Chuck Todd and the rest of those fucking dimwits who have never left D.C. She got schlonged. And when she went to the bathroom, it was disgusting.

I fucking love it. It's immature and stupid. And you know what? I love it. It's a breath of fresh air. I don't give a shit. Until Hillary stinks it up with a nice Chipotle dump. How are you, folks?

Hillary stinks it up with a nice Chipotle dump. How are you, folks? What else is going on? I got tons of shit here. I want to get to this right now because this made me sad. This made me very sad. Dave Henderson, folks. You remember him.

Especially if you're a Red Sox fan, had a massive heart attack and died this weekend at the age of 57. And this guy will live in Red Sox folklore forever. Just hit the biggest home run at that point in Red Sox history. And I know Al Michaels agrees with me that he calls this the greatest baseball game ever that nobody talks about. That ALCS, Red Sox-Angels 1986. And Sox are, it's game six. They're down three games to one, folks. They're down three games to one, folks. They're down three games to one.

Everybody forgets this. We remember all the, obviously Bill Buckner pushed these memories out of our heads, but they were down to their last strike. And Dave Henderson, who the Sox had just picked up that year, I believe, they're down five to four, two outs, two strikes. They're down to the last strike. If he strikes out the seasons, it's no good. It's gone.

And he's facing Donnie Moore, who's got a wicked sinker. And so Henderson comes up to bat for the injured tony armis he's only uh hit he's only come to bat i think uh in 36 regular season games he's hitting 196 this is um game five of the american league championships here and uh he comes up and like I said with two strikes on him he hits a wicked sinker somehow reaches out looks like he just poked it

like it was gonna fucking hits a home run what am I telling you about it for let's friggin I'll never forget it let's listen to it to left field and deep and down he goes back and it's gone unbelievable

ties the game ties the game god bless his late soul he eventually hits us uh the game-winning run on a sacrifice fly in the 11th inning. And then he started the rest of the games in the ACLS and in the World Series against the Mets. He hit.324 in the 86 postseason.

Then he played like one more year with the Sox. Then he got traded to the Giants. And then ended up in Oakland. And I had the pleasure of meeting Dave Henderson a few years after that. I was playing the Comedy Underground in Seattle. And there was a bar there right under the club that a pro baseball player, owner, player,

a former baseball player owned, pro ball player. Jesus Christ, spit it out. And I can't remember the guy's name. pro baseball player owner uh player a former baseball player owned pro ball player jesus christ spit it out and uh i can't remember the guy's name but it's where visiting teams used to hang out and dave henderson i think was with the a's at the time and he was at the friggin bar and i went over and shook his hand he actually lived in an apartment complex that i lived in when i you know first got out of college thinking i had money selling, I think I was doing cable TV at the time, door to door and whatever else. But anyways, he lived in a complex. So did Clemens, I think.

But couldn't have been nicer and told him, you know, what a Sox fan I was and what a hero. And couldn't have been nicer. And just like the articles that you read about him. So the guy just had nothing but all he did was smile and hero. And couldn't have been nicer. And just like the articles that you read about him. So the guy just had nothing but, all he did was smile and laugh. He couldn't have been nicer. So, ah, 57 years old. That is ridiculously young. And so rest in peace, Dave Hennison.

Condolences to the family. And boy, that made me sad. He threw out the pitch to the red sox a few years ago first pitch i don't know six seven eight years ago and uh that was unbelievable that was as good a baseball game it's as ever and i heard al michael saying that an interviewer i read it he said he said it was like the best game no he ever talks about maybe the best game ever um christ was that clutch and if you and they show him hopping up and down on the as he's going to first base his vertical leap he was just jumping up and down because he's excited he looked he looked like he was his vertical leap was

like 58 inches unbelievable crazy good athlete but boy, that was sad. What else? Well, let's stay on sports, I guess, since, I mean, by the way, you know I preach how I love college football. Well, I mean, New Year's Day, don't go anywhere, especially if you're NFL fans. If you just love the sport, watch those ballgames. Here's some matchups.

Michigan State, Alabama, I'm already getting hard thinking about it. And there's some good one on today, actually. Navy, who was actually ranked this year. Navy was ranked. They're playing Pittsburgh, I think, as I speak. Anyways, let's talk about the 500-pound elephant in the room, the New York J-E-T-S Jets, taking down my New England Patriots.

Don't get too excited. But that was a barn burner. But, again, can I just say this? It's not sour grape. Congratulations, Jets. By the way, I'm a fucking huge fan of Fitzpatrick, the quarterback. Fitzpatrick or Fitzgerald? That's how big a fan I am.

I can't believe I'm fucking up his name. Anyways, he's, that guy's the real deal. I liked him up in Buffalo. He was playing with a shitty team of the Bills. Right? I liked him then, Buffalo. He was playing with a shitty team with the Bills. And, uh, right?

I liked him then. But there's something about these Harvard guys that, uh, you know? But, um,

he's the fucking real deal. And, and, uh, that's a good defense. But I'll say this. Let me preface this. But before we get to the

meat of the thing. Obviously, the coin toss and all that shit. I have no idea what happened there. But let's be honest, folks. If the Patriots are healthy, I don't think they... This might be the year they went all the way undefeated. I've never seen a team go down like, what the fuck? Vollmer, another all-pro offensive lineman down.

No Devin McCourty yesterday and no Patrick Chung. And again, not to mention Deion Lewis, who we lost months ago, our best running back leading the Pats in rushing. And no Edelman. And I don't want to hear, well, all teams have injuries. They don't lose seven all pros at once. It doesn't, I mean, there are some years where teams get hit all at once and that's what's happening.

But, I mean, Gronk's back. We're going to get Edelman back in a couple weeks. And Devin McCourty, I don't even know what's wrong with him, so I'm sure he'll be back. If they get near healthy, watch out. But that doesn't take anything away from the jets they were great yesterday um but let's talk about what the fuck was that about the overtime the coin toss i i don't let's listen to the actual coin toss

and like dan fouts said first i thought he crazy, but it's almost like the referee said you want to kick off. He almost led Jackie, confused Jackie Slater. Now that we look at this the next day, the story is Bill Belichick, the press conference after the game, said no. I told him that we wanted to kick off, and I still don't know if I believe that or not. I think Jackie Slater got confused by the referee. Why would you think about this?

You got Tom Brady and arguably the best offense in the NFL. Why would you not take the ball first? And in the paper, people trying to second guess and say Belichick's thinking was, we'll stop them because, you know, you can't win on a field goal, right? You have to get a touchdown. If you get the ball first and you kick a field goal, the other team gets a shot. Those are the rules. And he's thinking

we'll give the Jets the ball, we'll stop them with a defense, which might be flawed thinking right there, and we'll get the ball in decent field position and we'll end it with a field goal. So, anyways. Here's the actual coin toss.

And you can hear the ref almost say to Jackie, so you want to kick off. I don't know who said it first. I thought Slater spoke first. But now that I've listened to it, you can hear the ref almost confuse him. Heads is the call. Heads is the call. It is heads.

You want to kick off. You're going to receive. Which way do you want to receive? No, 14, 45, 49, and 10. Did you hear him? He goes, you want to kick off? He goes, you hear the ref say you want to kick off? It's very friggin' weird. I just, is Belichick covering for Jackie Slater fucking up?

Or did he really believe that? That it was best to give the ball to the Jets first and that way they could end it? I don't know. I don't know. Very odd. And then his Mr. Personality after the game. I love, and it doesn't happen

very often, when the Pats lose and Belichick has to, you know, that's when he gives him, he gives the press, he never gives them very much, but this is when he really gives them the bare minimum. Here's the press conference after. Bill, why did you elect to kick on the coin toss at the time? Because I thought that was the best thing to do. Bill, what were your specific instructions to Matthew? Because it seemed like there was some confusion. There wasn't any confusion.

No confusion. How much time did you spend discussing on the sidelines what you should do? I don't know how much time did you take to discuss what you're gonna do i don't know i I don't know. I don't think we'll ever know the truth. Belichick's that type of guy. I mean, he's that dedicated to the team concept that he would cover up if Slater fucked up.

But I don't think, obviously, you don't let the player decide. So he had to get instructions from Belichick. So Belichick might have just blown it. Sometimes know the geniuses get too cute and that might have been the situation but uh man oh man it was a hell of a game wasn't it and uh but like i said we get healthy watch the fuck out but we're gonna you know we're gonna lose goddamn uh home field it was a hell of a game, wasn't it? And, but like I said, we get healthy. Watch the fuck out. But we're going to, you know, we're going to lose goddamn home field advantage if we don't stop with this nonsense.

But you can't have a corner and a safety. You're too start and DBs out and not expect you're going to get burned. You know? And Steven uh, Steven Jackson, he did all right. He's a big, powerful back, kind of an old man, but, uh, he'll suffice till we get a few people back. But that was something else. And then Louis CK texts me today and goes, Hey, that reminds me of a bit you used to do about how gay guys, I don't know how he remembers this shit.

I swear to God, I might have done this bit for six months while we first got to New York. But I did a bit about how gay guys decided who, you know, if two gay guys are about to have sex, who decides who's going to receive and who's going to. I used to do like the referee. I'd actually simulate clicking the thing on my belt uh bruce has won the toss he will receive and i do some you know obscene gesture to my ass um i want to defend this hole i forgot all about it fucking Fucking Louie texted me and had a nice chat. Guy's got a mind like a steel trap. I don't know how.

Anyways, so that's that. You got Denver, Cincinnati. I don't know when you're listening to this, but that's tonight. Anyways, staying with the sports thing real quick. Peyton Manning, do you hear about this someone's somebody was accusing him in 2011 of using hgh when he had the bad neck and whatnot and i don't really give a shit and then the person that uh actually spilled the beans um recanted it and said i want to come out and say those, what I said was not true, which makes me think that it was true.

And he got a call from some lawyers, probably a Peyton Manning's lawyers and said, listen to you, motherfucker, we will ruin you 12 days from Sunday. If you don't take that shit, who knows? But why would you just come out and make up shit? Although it was the Al Jazeera network. I don't know. Peyton Manning's a pretty clean guy, but I heard he's like a wild man until he bangs a million broads. Sort of like a Jeter.

He knows how to play the game, you know? Who knows? But he's denied a report set to Aaron Al Jazeera that contends he received a human growth hormone through his wife during his recovery from neck surgery in 2011 in indianapolis the report claims manning received hgh from an indianapolis anti-aging clinic while he's still with the colts it said the drug which was banned by the nfl in 2011 collective bargain agreement was delivered to his wife, Ashley, so that the quarterback's name was never attached to the shipments. Liam Collins, a British hurdler, went undercover and spoke with Charlie Sly.

Charlie Sly is the guy who said this. An Austin, Texas-based pharmacist who worked at the Geyer Institute, the Indiana-based anti-aging clinic in 2011. Sly allegedly names Manning and other high-profile athletes as having received HGH from the clinic. However, Sly backtracks in a subsequent statement to Al Jazeera saying Collins secretly recorded his conversations without his knowledge or consent.

The statements on... That makes me believe even more that he was saying the truth if he didn't always be the statement on any recordings this is sly talking now being quoted or any recordings or communications that al jazeera plans to air are absolutely false and incorrect sly said to be clear i am recanting any such statements and there is no truth any statement of mine that al jazeera plans to air i under no circumstances should any of those recording statements or communications be aired. But why would you? Doesn't it sound like somebody might have got to him?

The league, the players union, added human growth hormone testing to the collective bargain agreement signed in 2011, but the side didn't agree to testing terms until 2014. Nobody has tested positive, which would trigger a four-game suspension. Peyton said this, and he was pissed. But then again, you see him on SNL. He's actually a great actor, but he seemed pretty pissed in the interview. What was your reaction to the Al Jazeera report that you had human growth hormone mailed to your home when you were recovering from that surgery?

Well, I think I rotate Lisa between being angry, furious, on and on, but disgusted is really how I feel, sickened by it. Serious on and on, but disgusted is really how I feel, sickened by it. I'm not sure I understand how someone can make something up about somebody, admit that he made it up, and yet it somehow gets published in a story. I don't understand that. Maybe you can explain it to me. Somebody else can.

Their part is true, though. When the source comes out and says, I didn't say that, or those things are false, blah, blah, blah, that should be the end of it. But see, then it takes on a life of its own, this story. And I'm talking about it now, right? So that's how it happens. And it really is frigging unfair. But we're such a media-driven society. What are you going to do with it, fella?

So it's completely fabricated, complete trash, garbage. There's some more adjectives I'd like to be able to use. I think he's talking about the Broncos offense. No. But it really makes me sick. Makes him sick? I don't know. I don't usually get my sports from Al Jazeera unless ISIS is playing Al Qaeda

in a preseason match. Fucking Al Jazeera Network. Stick up your... Get it out of here. But what do you believe? Call me at 1-800-775-4446. That's a fake number uh so uh yeah peyton uh you know he looked very perturbed and uh but i mean you know it was neck fusion surgery and hgh would probably help with the healing of that so even if he was

what's the big fucking deal he wasn't playing i was he probably was playing at the time but uh i don't know what you don't think play is now you don't think half the league's on that shit now you really think these guys that are six six oh i oh, I don't know, 305, and they can run like a 4'7", 40, you really think that's natural? That's what the big joke is. Why do you think there's so many injuries? Do you know why? Because your joints aren't meant. Ever see a guy just make a cut and his knee blows out?

joints aren't meant. Ever see a guy just make a cut and his knee blows out? Or just another lineman and somebody rolls up on the back of his leg and there goes your knee? Those joints weren't meant to take that kind of weight. It's unnatural. Even up at Maine, I remember this kid went home. We came back for a camp in august one of our linebackers was just average speed average physique i'm walking down the dorm hallway and he's coming the other way without a shirt on i walk right past him not even knowing who he's like hey fuck face i turn around i almost went into shock he had the physique of a bodybuilder and he and he knocked like two tenths off his 40 times and he was a juice monkey and uh come on it's just hilarious i would love to see just for the optics um imagine if they made the nfl if they tested

these guys and made them stop to be you ever watch clips from like the 60s where Frank Gifford played and shit? You know, the fucking linemen had legs like supermodels. Compared to today, you get guys sitting on the bench who can't even make the team. They're like 5'10", I don't know, 2'35". They run a 4'5". It's a giant man's game.

It's just crazy. And HGH. I don't know. But I wouldn't fuck with that. I want my kidneys and liver. But I don't know. You believe what you want to believe. Hey, Saturday night,

over 1,000 to 2,000 teens shut down a Kentucky mall because the teens were loitering, fighting, and refusing to leave businesses. So they forced the shopping center to shut down. More signs that are, the fabric that holds us together is just coming apart. Is that an exaggeration? I don't think so. The incidents involved between 1,000 and 2,000 teens. This is Louisville, Kentucky. Calls continue to pour in, so police requested assistance from neighboring agencies.

Can you fucking imagine? A lot of the juveniles were being confrontational. This is a cop talking, by the way. Officers were being cussed at, yelled at, and harassed. Thank you, Obama. Again, thank you, seven years of Obama, and here's your fundamental change, your community organizing horseshit mentality, and don't tell me it doesn't have something to do with it. Not directly putting it on him, but we've seen, huh? Black Lives Matter, we've seen

the whole, you know, don't tell me. It's just copycat shit. They were doing it. Black Lives Matter was interrupting the airport in Minneapolis on Christmas Day. And these idiots see the same shit. And they see the power in social media. So they go out and go, hey, let's go fuck up a mall. And management eventually decided to close the entire mall.

There were no arrests, the officers said. Why not? They were disruptive enough where they had to shut down the fucking mall where peaceful people who obey the law go shopping. So how were there no arrests? It doesn't mention race in the article. So I'll leave that one up to you.

And I'm sure there were some white teens there also involved, because obviously they were probably at the mall and got caught up. I don't even know. But it could have been a mix. But I'm just saying, how come there were no arrests? Oh, I know why. Because if you arrested one of the kids and the other kids are filming it, then your ass is on the line.

That's why, and that's the climate in the country. That shocked the shit out of me, though. You know? I remember I used to go to San Antonio to do comedy in this mall in the River Center, and every time I went, I remember I used to go to San Antonio to do comedy in this mall in the River Center. And every time I went, and I went like six or seven times, there may be two times where I didn't see security, mall security chasing kids out of a sneaker store or out of any store.

I couldn't believe it. I would talk about it on stage every time I went to San Antonio. I couldn't believe it. I would talk about it on stage every time I went to San Antonio. I would sit on the bench and I don't know what the fuck it was about that mall. But it was hilarious. Just, but now they didn't have social media back then. That's how long ago it was. But how do you close down a mall because kids are being a thousand to two thousand and not make any arrests so where's the uh deterrent you know i mean if you're one of those punks why wouldn't

you do it again if you had fun nobody get arrested maybe they weren't doing anything well there was fighting going on i think it's disturbing the peace i'm no cop oh i although i do play one on tv every once in a while um yeah just irritates me again get out the fire hoses and fucking let a few dogs zap people use the tasers and shit you don't have to be lethal about it i'm a big fan of those rubber bullets. You know? Those seem to sting. You know, maybe a daisy air rifle like I did.

That hurt like a mother. That broke my skin. Robbie Sear. The kid was unbelievable. He could throw a rock through a tree, though. But I said, no, here, shoot me with my own gun. What else is in the news? Well,

ISIS supporter tried to bomb Super Bowl. An Islamic State supporter in Arizona who was accused of aiding the men who attacked a Prophet Muhammad cartoon contest in Texas in May now faces charges he tried to bomb the Super Bowl. CNN

reports. So it has to be true. Abdul Malik Abdul Kareem a.k.a. Dikaris Thomas is a fine line, folks. And you're going to see more of this between, you know, like an ISIS guy, Tarras, and a very angry American black guy. Yeah, a very fine line there.

You'll see that line dissolve more and more as we progress. Also was accused of. Let me say his name again. Abdul Malik Abdul Kareem. Right there. That's enough for me to follow him around. Just on his name alone. Nick.

That's called. That's prejudice. I know. I know it is. Exactly right. It's called profiling. Yeah. Stereotyping.

Yes it is. It's all that and more. It's also called good police work. Just on the name alone. You got two Abduels in your name. I'm following you home. You can throw a Karim and a Malik in there, I'm all over your shit. Just like they used to follow Antonio Baratucci in the Bronx in the 40s.

Or Gaudi or any other. See how that works? Yeah. Okay. It's God's way. It makes it very easy for police. See how that works? Yeah. Okay. It's God's way. He makes it very easy for police.

He's also accused of accessing an ISIS document that contained the names and addresses of U.S. military personnel. Kareem's early indictment was tied to providing arms and advice to Elton Simpson and Nadir Sufi. Remember those? To carry out an attack on the cartoon contest in Garland, Texas. Both were shot to death on May 3rd by a police officer before they were able to enter the facility where the contest was taking place

and before they could injure anyone. You remember that, right? Back in May. It's already in the distant past. That would like to be a huge thing, but there's been so much, so many other, you know, terrorist-related shit since. Stuff like that gets forgotten, and it shouldn't. Before that, the three men are believed to have plotted unsuccessfully to bomb the Super Bowl.

What's that, 49XL? Yeah, that was played at University of Phoenix Stadium on February 1st. Their plan to aid ISIS began before that, back in June of 2014, according to the indictment. Other possible targets included military bases, U.S. service members, and shopping malls. They reportedly practiced in remote desert areas, and Kareem is charged with carrying firearms and ammunition across state lines. The trio watched violent extremist videos depicting executions and attempted to obtain pipe bombs. Nice.

They try to blow up the Super Bowl. You know, it's so funny you always say that, don't you, when you're watching? When I'm watching the NFL, I say to my wife all the time, I go, you know, in Super Bowl and the big events, the World Series, I'm like, I'm so surprised that hasn't happened yet. Then you had that thing in Paris. But, Jesus Christ, you want to get a lot of people in one spot together?

I mean, but, you know, the guy's name's Abdul Malik Abdul Kareem. Could be an ISIS member or a point guard for the warriors. I don't know. I don't know. Follow those asses. Infiltrate those asses. Infiltrate those boss. Go to Hillary Clinton. To Debbie Wasserman Schultz. And to Diane Feinstein.

And to the anchor woman at CNN and MSNBC. And to every female college professor in the country. This goes out to you with love from the Nick DiPaolo Tolerate This podcast. No, I don't know if that's a name yet, but it's one I'm leaning on. Who doesn't, fella? Santa, you know what I want for christmas this year oh debbie westman show that was debbie westman show so i heard i think it's a rumor but uh so stay away from the malls in kentucky There's a lot of shit going on down there. Hey, do you see this CNN anchor woman, Poppy Harlow?

She kind of fainted on the air. Did you guys catch this shit? Boy, I was belly laughing. It actually turned me on. I don't know if that makes me a psycho, but she started slurring her words, and they had to cut to something else. Listen to this.

I'll play it for you. She sounds like a chick that, you know, after you've given her her third Alabama slammer or her third Long Island iced tea, or maybe even second, depending on her weight. Again, I dated the petite girls because you could give them a half a drink and they were all fucked up.

I did a whole bit on that. You know that. But listen to this. This is a CNN anchor woman getting, I guess she had a hot flash or some shit, but listen to her. On American soil, bad news for the Obama administration. We have this new CNN ORC poll, which is quite a turnaround. Didn't that sound, I don't know, she sounded kind of cute. She's like, that's how slanted and how biased the news is at CNN. She was reporting bad news for the Obama administration.

She fainted. She couldn't believe they were having her say that on her network. Let's listen to it. Let's take another look in slow motion. On American soil, bad news for the Obama administration. soil. Bad news for the Obama administration. We have this new CNN ORC poll which is quite a quite a turnaround

in 99. Night. Remember that? You get a few drinks and you start slurring. You're like, oh yeah, I'm in. I'm in. No no i didn't drug anybody that was way before my time we didn't have drugs back then we did it the old-fashioned way

we made him drink a gallon of beer or four martinis and then we picked him up and spun him around but it reminded me of another uh, I think a couple years ago, a CBS woman out in L.A. reporting on the Emmys or the Grammys or whatever. Her name was Serene Branson, cute blonde, and she had some type of brain malfunction. It was actually a physical thing, and she started talking gibberish.

She almost sounded like De Niro in Cape Fear. Remember when he's in the water at the end going... Listen to her. This is like a cute blonde chick. She was reporting on it, and she had a little brain malfunction. Oh, don't even... There we go.

Nominations. CBS 2's Serene Branson is live at the Staples Center with highlights and backstage coverage. We're seeing for the very first time. Here we go. and the pet what the fuck did you hear that we are not nominations cbs to serene bradson is live at the state of with highlights and backstage coverage we're seeing for the very first time three well and very very heavy and heavy did

rotation tonight we had a very, very heavy rotation tonight. We had a very derisive bite. Let's go to have the pet. Ah, by the power invested in me. How creepy was that? You could see the frightening look on her

face because she knew something was turns out she had like you know i read about it after a complicated migraine they call it complicated i guess the fuck but uh i guess 75 75 percent of cases of this complicated migraine happen in women, I guess. And I guess it can work itself out. But to me, it seems like a precursor for a stroke. I don't give a shit what you're calling it now. That's frigging creepy, man. And, yeah, that's kind of...

But the CNN chick, that made me laugh because they were, you know, bringing up bad... bringing up bad results for the Obama administration. And that's when she started to get dizzy. It made me crack up, you know, me being the Hawkeye that I am, looking out for liberal bias. But she did.

But let's listen to the girl again cbs nominations cbs2 serene branson is live at the staples center with highlights and backstage coverage we're seeing for the very first time serene well a very very heavy uh heavy burtation a heavy burtation who hasn't had a heavy burtation Huh? It's a heavy birthation. It's a daily situation. Tonight, we had a very derison. Let's go to Terrence Chazen. Let's go to the vet.

They have the pet. Oh, my God. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Not this fucking time.

No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way, no, no, no, no, no. Not this fucking time. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way, you mate. Yeah, that was the directive of the news. She was canned. No, she was too cute to be canned. Then they played it back.

I found it on the internet. I was watching and they did an interview with her and they watched herself watching her go through that little spell. That Miss Branson girl for the first time. It's pretty's pretty weird. Complicated migraine, really? I've got to come up with that phrase. She sounded like the exorcist when the broad started talking in tongues.

And finally today or tonight, in the New York City news, the capital of, you know, de Blasio and his comrades, New York City will fine you $250,000 for misgendering a transsexual. Yeah. You hear that? In the latest astonishing act of draconian political correctness, the New York City Commission on Human Rights have updated a law on discrimination on the basis of gender identity or expression

to threaten staggering financial penalties against property owners who misgender employees or tenants. Incidents that are deemed willful and malicious will see property owners face up to $250,000 in fines. While standard violations of the law result in a $125,000 fine, for small business owners, these sums are crippling. Of course they are. They hate fucking business here in New York. It's not as simple as referring to trans men, he, or a trans man, he, or a trans woman as she either.

The legislation makes it clear that if an individual desires property owners will have to make use of Z-H-E Zay Or her Z or her H-I-R And any other preferred pronoun

What the fuck Some transgender and gender non-conforming people Prefer to use pronouns other than he, him, his, or she, her, hers, such as they, them, theirs, or they, or her, H-I-R, her. Can you fucking believe this? The NYCHR requires employers and covered entities to use an individual's preferred name, pronoun, and title regardless of the individual's sex assigned at birth, anatomy, gender, medical history of parents, or the sex indicated on the individual's identification.

Most individuals and many transgender people use female or male pronouns and titles. Many transgender people use female or male pronouns and titles. Other violations of the law include refusing to allow individuals to use single-sex facilities, such as bathrooms that are consistent with their gender identity, failing to provide employee health benefits for gender-affirming care, and imposing different uniforms or grooming standards based on sex or gender. Do you see how fucking evil this is? And this is fucking this is tyranny. This is what

we're worried about when government is actually that's somebody imposing their their view of life on you. This is how they see the world and you better fucking act accordingly.

How the fuck? And then in the article, examples of such illegal behavior include requiring female bartenders to wear makeup. That would be, you get fined for that if you own the bar. Permitting only individuals who identify as women to wear jewelry, or requiring only individuals who identify as women to wear jewelry or requiring only individuals who identify as male to have short hair and permitting female but not male residents at a drug treatment facility to wear wigs and high heels and i like i like the example the guy that writes this he goes in other words if a bar owner prevents male bartenders from wearing lipstick and heels they'll be breaking the law they've now got a choice between potentially

scaring off customers and paying hundreds of thousands of dollars in fines regardless of the established clientele or aesthetic every property owner will be forced to conform to the same standard. This is the latest in what spiked online editor-in-chief Brendan O'Neill. I've read some of his stuff. He's got a book about race out. I forget what the hell the title is. The Crisis of Character in the West, in which identity becomes grounded in subjective interpretation rather than objective reality.

The state is now forcing society to recognize the subjective identities of individuals, regardless of how absurd or surreal they may seem. That's just somebody imposing their worldview on you. Fuck that. Time for a revolution. And I'm not being disrespectful. I have somebody close to me, believe it or not, that has this transgender thing. I'm just saying. Now you're going to tell people how to perceive other people and what? What the fuck? Who are you to make the fucking rules? You know?

It's unbelievable to me. It is unbelievable. You don't have to be cruel, but now you're just fucking with us. And again, we're talking about what? .001% of the population probably? Unbelievable. Unbelievable. In New York City.

And they wonder why people are leaving here in droves. Read a whole article since 2010. Over 650,000 people have left New York State. They have a deficit, like the largest deficit as far as people coming in versus people leaving. Because upstate New York is, you know,

they won't allow fracking, Cuomo, liberal jackoff. So all those towns that, it could have been a boom for them financially, they're all drying up. And then you got New York City, which is hostile to businesses, get more regulations anywhere in the nation, and they wonder why people are fucking leaving in droves. And now you get accosted on the subway just like it was 1975 on the de blasio

so like i said people in the midwest when the new york or la makes funny you just fucking laugh right in their face but uh yeah so if a guy wants to be called her H-I-R or he wants to be called, she wants to be called Z-H-E. I don't even know how to fucking pronounce it. You better do that

if you're a business owner or if you're a, you own a building or you're a landlord. You'll be considered willful and malicious. Okay, fuck it. I'm going to, I'm going to put on...

I'm going to go to a nightclub in New York. Like I said, I said, I'm going to put on a skirt and a wig and just go into the nearest... Follow the hottest chick into the nearest girls' room and just go, I identify as a lesbian.

Let me taste you. Don't you? I want to be called she now they're just fucking with your heads and you're not afraid of government out there

are you fucking kidding me are you kidding me man what the fuck well look at you now you look like a fucking little girl okay look at you

I said no I said no tits anyways kids that's it for today what a fucking weird show huh girl. Okay? Look at you. I said no tits. Anyways, kids, that's it for today. What a fucking weird show, huh? What a weird show. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Thanks again for the contributions. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not this fucking time. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way. No fucking way. Come see me at Levity Live in West Nyack, New York. That's next weekend, starting Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, the 8th, 9th, and 10th. And then come see me at Zaney's in Chicago.

On the 14th, I'll be downtown for two shows. On Friday the 15th, I'll be in Rosemont. And the 16th, I'll be in Rosemont. And then the Sports Haven in New Haven, Connecticut on Saturday the 23rd and the Comedy Shop in Pompton Plains, New Jersey. I think it's like at a Best Western. That's actually a fun one. The Music Hall of Portsmouth, New Hampshire on February 12th with a bunch of other really funny Boston guys.

Governors in Long Island, February 26th and 27th, one of my favorite haunts, obviously, and College of Staten Island on the 5th of March, Bananas in Hasbro Heights, New Jersey on March 11th and 12th, side splitters on March 31st, April 1st and April 2nd, that's in Tampa, love that joint. How about this, the Woman's Club of Minneapolis I'm doing on, well, I don't yet. Right now it's April 9th, but that's tentative. I'm trying to move that one. And you're going, really?

The Woman's Club? That's just the name of the venue. It's a nice theater, supposedly. All right, kids. That's about it from here. And happy holidays to you. You know what I'm saying? And I'll talk to you soon

i won't take all that they hand me down and make out a smile though i wear a frown and i'm not gonna take it all lying down because once i get started i go to town because i'm not like everybody else no no i'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else I'm not the one in my life I'm not like everybody else guitar solo guitar solo Bye.