The Nick DiPaolo Show - 123 - Racist Black Women, Christie and Trump, The Brokerage

Episode Date: March 1, 2016

Racist Black Women, Christie and Trump, The Brokerage

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. How you doing, my titless wonders? Good to be back with you. Hello again. Hello. Just called to let you know you're a piece of chubby shit. How are you? Great. Hope you're good. I don't give a fuck how you are, to be honest with you, and you don piece of chubby shit. How are you? Great. Hope you're good.

I don't give a fuck how you are, to be honest with you, and you don't care how I am. And that's the way it should be. Don't you feel that way in this cold world we live in? Sure you do. As always, first, most importantly, at the top of the show, I'd like to thank people who send me contributions, because they are needed to keep the show alive. As you know, the subscription is only $3.99 a month, which is like a dollar a week. So, you know, I don't know anybody who can live on that.

So thank you so much for the contributions. And I'm talking specifically about David P. DeCasa. For you people who are Spanish impaired, that's David of House. Thank you to Joseph and Daniel Jordan, as I call him, JDJ, with a nice fat contribution. I mean a nice one. Going to go out and buy the wife a nice muzzle with that money. And, of course, Kevin McArdle, who's a regular. Contribute to the shows at their discrimination.

Kevin McArdle with another beautiful contribution. Thank you guys so much and everybody who has contributed since I started this abortion. Oh, my God. Did he say abortion? say abortion yes he did big fan of him anyways back to the show thank you guys so much thank you everybody and the subscriptions are still climbing it's it's fucking beautiful and i get business by the way let me say it's the the Monday show you're listening on iTunes right now or Stitcher or Riotcast.com. If you want to get two to three more shows a week of the Nick DiPaolo podcast, you have to go to connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. And it's so easy to sign up.

It's right there. It's right in front of you. A fucking retarded sparrow could do it with his little crippled feet. Anyways, yeah, it's so easy to sign up. It's right there. It's right in front of you. A fucking retarded sparrow could do it with his little crippled feet. Anyways, yeah, it's that easy. Gigs real quickly. This Saturday night, Staten Island. You believe this? The College of Staten Island.

I think they played Nebraska in the Peach Bowl in the 70s. I'm guessing a lot of, no, I was going to say a lot of Italians, but that's not how it works. You know, every time I do a call, I see guessing a lot of, no, I was going to say a lot of Italians, but that's not how it works. You know? Every time I do a college, I see a lot of Asians, Indians, people with brains.

And they laugh, too. I got to be honest, we haven't done a college in about five or six years. Me and Joe List did one up in Connecticut. I was hitting the chest with a full Heineken.

No, it was actually a good, it was good. I was doing my usual shit, stepping on toes, poking eyes, pulling hair. Nobody had a problem. It was like an engineering school, so, but they didn't have a problem, didn't have a problem with it whatsoever. I'll be there with actually Kendra Cunningham, who was with me at the brokerage this weekend. Let me tell you, this broad rips the tits off the crowd. Kendra Cunningham.

I forget her fucking Twitter handle. But I call her the modern day Mae West. They fucking loved her at the brokerage. And the brokerage, they don't play games there. I'll get to that in a few seconds. That was a great... Anyways, also, I'll be on Rob Spranche's podcast on March 10th. You're like, who's Rob Spranche? He started Riotcast.com with Robert Kelly.

Bananas, Robert Kelly, who never calls me anymore or even fucking talks to me because he's on a TV show. I think he's one of those guys that Nick picked on me when I didn't have anything going on. I don't know. He lives six minutes away. I never see the guy. I brought his kid a nice gift for the kid's birthday. A nice semi-automatic with a 10-round clip. But I never hear from Bobby anymore.

Bananas in Hasbrook Heights in New Jersey. That's March 11 and 12. And then side-splitters in Tampa. March 31, April 1 and 12. And then Sidesplitters in Tampa, March 31, April 1 and 2. The Woman's Comedy Club of Minneapolis. You're like, what, Nick? What the fuck are you thinking? That's the name of the venue.

It's a beautiful theater in Minneapolis. April 9th, I will be there. How about Dr. Grin's in Grand Rapids, Michigan? April 21, 22, and 23. What better place to be when Passover begins at sundown than Dr. Grins? And finally, the Arlington Draft House, Arlington, Virginia, April 29 and 30. One of my favorite gigs. No shit.

Fucking love it. Some of them I really do love. Fucking love it. Some of them I really do love. Anyways, again, connectpal.com slash Nick if you want to subscribe to the podcast. The broker just weekend was a blast. Thank you, guys. Long Island is so loyal to me.

The Gavones really come out. But it's nice because you know why? I'll tell you why. What dawned on me, I see adults in the audience. It's not like doing the improv of the Funny B and when it's date night and some chick comes out 25 years old and, you know, with her fucking new boyfriend and makes reservations on Monday night to go see Nick DiPaolo on Friday, not knowing who Nick DiPaolo is. And three minutes in, she's got a puss on her face because I said cunt twice. That's an exaggeration i don't do that much anymore but i'm just saying uh you know the brokerage is like a neighborhood joint

and james and his wife they couldn't be nicer it's like a family-run place and um the food is unfreaking believable i swear to god i had chicken fingers it was like i was eating prime rib i shit you not they were the best chicken things i've've ever had. But I look out in the audience, I see people my age. I see guys and women my age and younger and a little older. I mean, they really like it. Angry and, you know, kind of angry and to the right a little bit. So, yeah yeah just a fucking killer uh killer weekend and um i just you know it was good thank you to john truson too he's a part part owner and he mc'd and he recorded a couple of my sets for me thank you so much john again they treat you right you know i mean you need something to eat need something to drink uh there's no room for a green room there so we sit in james office

well while james is out doing business i'm going through rifling through his drawers looking for any any tips i can find on the gambinos that's a joke everybody so uh killer thank you for coming out to that sold out uh i think all three was sold out i don't know the first no the first actually friday night i saw it i'm gonna have to call james on this one i saw two empty seats that were right right to my left on stage right till just two but that's the only two i saw but anyways both shows sold out saturday night made a little extra cashish thank you what do you guys want to talk about today folks a lot of shit i did anthony comey's show on uh last thursday

and like thursday night i you know i'm on twitter and i find out bill nye's gonna be on the show and you know he's captain science a big proponent of uh we're not a proponent, but believes very much in, you know, global warming, whatever you want to call it. And he's, you know, he's a scientist. He does this for a living and shit. I don't think twice about it. I've seen the guy on Bill Maher and he's a big liberal. And the libs love him. And, you know, because if you don't agree with everything he says, that means you're anti-science and a fucking idiot and a racist and a bigot and you know the fucking usual horse shit so he shows up with his little suit and tie and bow tie and uh and nice enough guy and anything but but i'm saying i find out like the night before and i'm not gonna fucking i don't even know if i'm gonna be on the same segment when i get there

but i'm sitting out in the green room and you know anthony calls me and and then um i don't even remember was I in before Bill whatever so we were out there together and uh and it's so funny so we started right you know right off the bat I I start busting balls I go yeah I just want to I I threw a trial balloon out there to see how he'd react to it because these guys you know I've seen him on TV they're a little bit pompous and I go yeah I flunked out of the University of Maine just to see how he would, you know, gravitate to that statement. And, of course, he replies and takes the bait. Oh, really? He goes, we're all shocked.

Now, you know what? He doesn't know me. Or maybe he does. I mean, if he said, but he doesn't. There's no way this guy fucking knows who I am, I don't think. So why would you say that? So, you know what I mean? Why? Because I look like a dumb mook, you know?

He doesn't know me. There's no fucking way. So he goes, oh, I think we're all shocked, you know, and whatever. What am I doing? I got the fucking clip right here. Why am I doing a play-by-play? Oh, the melatonin still in my system. Well, here's the clip.

Flunked out of University of Maine. Yeah. You flunked out. Yeah. I think we're all shocked. It happens. I don't like your sarcasm, asshole. This ain't the fucking Bill Marshall, Bill.

That was like a shot heard around the world you know i don't like that i i hate it because i really don't think he knows who i am but you know what maybe he did maybe he was trying to be funny but i doubt it and i hate when people i'll be introduced to somebody I don't know, or like I'll show up, I don't know, anywhere, like at a party or something. And somebody introduced me. It doesn't happen now that I'm older. But, you know, because I look Italian, you know, somebody introduced me, somebody go, how you doing, Nick? And they'll grab their crotch and do the Italian dumb fucking thing, you know. And I always reply, if I was black, would you go, hey, can I get you a piece of watermelon, fuck face, you like chicken, you know what I mean, so, you know, I'm just saying,

blacks aren't the only ones, black guys aren't the only, you're not the only one who prejudged on your mentality, or whatever, or, you know, so I just fucking called him an asshole, and you know what, it disarmed him, took him down a notch, and you know what, yeah, you know, I kind of, that and you know what it disarmed him took him down a notch and you know what yeah you know i kind of looking back on it i'm like you know i kind of felt bad now i'm like you know but you know what no then i thought about it again i went no he fucking assumed i was a dumb moke and but here's the thing what's funny about it is how much like you know you go on twitter and shit or on the internet and people oh gee, gee, DePaulo, you really got embarrassed today. Oh, Bill Nye's schooling at DePaulo.

Not that many. Again, I'm on my, you know how you develop your own alarm. I'm looking at my Twitter feed and Anthony's, and 98% of it was positive. Some guy tweeted me, hey, I have a PhD in science, and it's about time somebody told that Bill Nye to shut up. There was a lot of people. But my point being for you idiots who are going, oh, you look like an idiot. The point was you guys were acting like this was a presidential debate scheduled a month

earlier. And I, you know, I didn't do my homework. I went out there as a comedian to bust fucking ball. You really think I think I'm going to win a debate about global warming or climate change with a fucking guy who's got 19 PhDs in science and physics and whatever? Do you know what I mean? Fucking people. Then I see people busting Anthony's balls on Twitter going, why would you put Nick DiPaolo, one of the funniest guys out there, with a boring scientist? That's how comedy comes about.

Do you guys see how that works? They were busting Anthony's balls about it. Man, it's funny because I was going to sit there when I found out Bill Nye was on a show. I'm like, I'll just listen to what he has. I'm not going to. But that's not the nature of a comedian. And if I sat there and didn't say boo, then I would have caught caught even more shit going why didn't you fucking argue with the fuck because i don't believe i i do believe in global warming but i don't believe that the the the it's the crisis that he says it

is that people have to fucking uh buy flood insurance because uh next tuesday in miami it's going to be underwater you can look at at speeches Al Gore made 12, 13 years ago, and Miami was supposed to be underwater by now from some of his speeches. So, you know, a lot of it's a bunch of whore. I'm saying there's definitely a warming thing going on, but my point being is, and I asked him, I go, how long have we been keeping, you know, weather records? And he goes, well, we've been keeping weather records for 150 and climate for 670,000 years or whatever, whatever the fuck that meant.

Okay, but the planet's a couple billion years old, so there's been all kinds of cycles that you're not even aware of. That's my point. And then they always, well, 90% of the scientists are on Bill Nye's side. I don't give a fuck. I don't care. Have you ever been in a room with 1,000 people at a party with 50 people and two years see one thing one

way and the other 48 seat the other way and you end up here you know different sample size i understand but i'm not arguing the point and then i you know i accused him being a liberal and he's like what what are you talking what is this liberal after he went on like this fucking spew of of liberal horseship 15 minutes and my big point was the whole carbon and he didn't even argue this i actually got him like somebody said on the internet to admit it's a it's a fucking wealth redistribution scheme excuse me which it is because what they want to do you know this first of all china China and India put way more carbon emissions into the atmosphere than the United States does. So it's all a bunch of shit.

But once again, some global cabal is going to get together in conjunction with the fucking U.N. and blah, blah, blah. And corporations who emit so much carbon into the air are going to get penalized. You know, they set a standard. And if you pollute above that standard, you're going to get penalized. You know, they set a standard, and if you pollute above that standard, you're going to get taxed. They're going to get whacked or fined. Big, big money, the corporation. But who do you think the corporation is going to,

you think they're going to pay that tax, or do you think they might fucking pass it on to us, the end consumer? So who ends up taking it in the ass? The fucking U.S. taxpayer. And that's just what the fucking U.N. and all these global groups, that's just what they want. Go to the country with the most amount of money and let's fucking

squeeze once again. And what's in the United States is the middle class. Let's fucking whack. Even he didn't dispute that when I said the carbon tax. He goes, well, we prefer to call it a fee. And yes, he, you know, he even giggled. So, you know, and again, I wasn't trying to fucking debate this guy. This is what the guy talks about for a living. But that doesn't mean, you know, and again, I wasn't trying to fucking debate this guy, this is what the guy talks about for a living, but that doesn't mean, you know, I have to agree with everything that comes out of his dirty mouth, I mean, my dirty mouth, anyways, I didn't like him calling me a dope up front, but anyways, you people, you guys on the internet crack me the fuck up, you think you treat me like it was meet the press you know uh it was just

fun and that's what the whole anthony fucking you know that was the genius of that booking you know but even anthony almost fell out of his seat when i said that and i thought bill myer was familiar with maybe he wasn't with anthony anthony comey's show i'm guessing he was on o and a before but maybe not you He actually, he admitted that I asked good questions, like, ten minutes into the thing, you know, and he's not an asshole.

He's a little bit pompous, but, you know, the fuck. Anyways, that was fun, but the reactions cracked me up on the internet. Fuck that guy, I'm glad you told him off, his stupid bow tie wearing. It was a real kind of ONA slash Kumia slash brokerage Long Island

fucking weekend for me, you know? It's all under one umbrella that I'm talking about. Anyways, I'll be rambling. I'll be rambling i'll be rambling now but uh so a lot of shit huh politically uh chris christie i don't know why it's such a big deal but he endorses uh donald trump which is that's one thing to endorse a guy but it's so funny because you just dropped out of the race and you were just shitting all over Donald Trump, and saying everything that he said was a bunch of bullshit, and he's a big dope, and now you're on like the Sunday talk shows

saying why Trump is the greatest thing, it's so, here's, I got some clippage, that's a clippage of, you know who, fucking Chris Christie, and again, I mean, the guy didn't even, what did he have, 5% when he dropped out, so I don't see what the big ringing endorsement is, Christie's kind of a rhino, smart guy, good debater, fucking, I got a feeling if I met him, I'd kind of like him, I don't, you know, I don't think he'd go, hey Nick, how you doing? I might do that to him. Hey, Chris, how you doing, you big guinea from Jersey? But this is him with George Stephanopoulos on This Week on ABC.

Apparently Martha Raddatz had a yeast infection, and she's home. Anyways, I don't want to get too graphic. Martha Raddatz. Anyways, I don't get too graphic. Here's Chris Christie, a guy who was just shitting on Donald Trump probably 10 days ago, now defending him and telling us why we should vote for him for president. And the little Greek man, Stephanopoulos, put him through the ringer here, and he should, in a situation like this.

This is a fastball down the middle for these talk show hosts. But this is him busting Christie's balls about endorsing Trump and sort of pointing out the hypocrisy. I tell everybody who goes to a Donald Trump event, if you get to ask a question, just ask him how. First, he says he's going to build a wall across the entire border between the United States and Mexico.

How? How is he going to make the Mexicans pay for the wall? How? They are a sovereign nation. You're backing him now. What's the answer? The answer is he will do it. The fact is that he's going to have to answer that question. And he will. You know, George, this is February is february of a campaign and and and let's say this um you look at everybody else on that stage here comes the shit there have been many more specifics from a lot of other folks on that stage um and that was part of my argument during the campaign but i'd be right there be

going okay so you were being you were really full of shit when you were saying all the stuff you really liked him when you were up there when you were running in New Hampshire and Iowa and all that, you really fucking, you really liked Trump. You were lying to us. That's how politics works, huh? What a beautiful business. Should get into being a comedy agent. There I am with somebody who's ready for the president to make up my argument.

We're eight months into this campaign. The wall has been his signature issue. He says it's his go-to line whenever he needs applause. You've now had this Mexican president, two former Mexican presidents. The Mexican foreign minister in the Washington Post this morning calls this a racist, ignorant, and absurd proposal. Who cares? The fucking Mexican president. Well, listen, George, that's what would you say?

That's, of course, what they're going to say. So what's the mechanism? How has Donald Trump been to force Mexico to pass? Listen, I think that there is great ways to be able to use diplomacy and other tools to be able to come to compromise with nations that are both our neighbors and around the world. And we'll work on those things. And that's what leadership does. Yeah, but that's not what you said during the goddamn campaign when you're running against Trump, you big fucking galoof. I know how this is politics works, but isn't it shameless? Isn't it laughable, folks? Do you believe we fall for this shit? I mean, a week ago, he was shitting all over Trump. Now they're best friends.

Strong leadership is able to exert those things and be able to talk to folks about what advantages and disadvantages are of certain policies. The fact of the matter is that there won't be any question about Mr. Trump's strength and his resoluteness in terms of getting the things done that he's wanted to get done. That's what his whole career has shown. What's the answer to the how? That's the standard you set. And it is the standard I set. And he will answer that question.

But, you know, to me, I'm not answering. Why not? Shouldn't you be able to? You're speaking for him now. Why can't you? You've endorsed him. That's like going, I'm endorsing this guy. He's the best guy for president.

Why? I have no fucking idea. He lives in New York. I live in New York. You know, I'm a Jersey governor right across the river. And he, you know, hires a lot of my cement guys from my state. And it's un-fucking-believable. Unbelievable.

I don't know why it's such a big deal getting a rhino. And that's what he is. He's, in my opinion, Christy. Again, wouldn't make a bad president, but a little too liberal for me. Again, I need Mussolini or somebody further to the right. You answer it, you fucking chubby motherfucker. Yo, fucking prick you. And he talked about that yesterday and using

that as a lever to get them to do things on immigration. And I think that's a perfectly appropriate way to discuss this and as a part of the bilateral relationship that should be a part of the conversation. You're opposed to tariffs. That's what he's talking about. Listen, I'm not saying, I'm not going to support everything that happens in any campaign, but what I

will tell you is, is that an appropriate conversation between two countries? There are all types of appropriate conversations to have between two countries. And that's what will happen with Trump's president. Your signature issue in the campaign was entitlement reform. You've been talking about it for years. You say reforming Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid are essential. It's time for a candidate who speaks hard truth. Donald Trump is the only candidate that he's not going to touch Social Security.

Here's what he said about that. They say, Mr. Trump, what would you do on Social Security? When I become president, the entire country is going to get so wealthy, so amazingly wealthy that we're not going to have to worry about Social Security. I was saying that

I was making fun of Trump on stage at the brokerage. I watch him. I go, I shouldn't run for, anybody can run for president. Nick, what do you think about health care? Oh, Christ, we're all going to be skinny and healthy, and nobody's going to throw up. There'll be no more diarrhea. We'll be the healthiest people on the face of the earth.

Next question, please. What about the economy? We'll be all rich as hell. How are we going to do it? I have no fucking idea, but we'll do it. Next question. I mean, I think I could actually pull it off myself. Oh.

Again, the question is how. Yeah, and listen, I think that we need to do something on Social Security. I've made that really clear. Yeah, that's not the question, Chubby. Donald Trump and I are not going to agree on every issue. But this is the signature issue of your campaign. We agree on every issue, George. It's not the signature issue of my campaign.

The signature issue of my campaign. It's a grant every issue, George. It's not the signature issue of my campaign. The signature issue of my campaign was national security, keeping America safe and secure from terrorist attacks, and making us a better ally and neighbor around the world. That was the signature issue. I want to get to that. Now, Social Security is an important issue, and I've laid out my views on that, and I'll certainly share my views with the candidate.

Why don't you share your pizza with somebody? That's the problem in your fudge. I don't mean to take cheap shots at you, but mother of Christ. But he said in the debate on Thursday night... No one else has a plan on Social Security, so why aren't we testing all these other candidates as well? I've asked all the candidates lots of questions on that issue.

No, you haven't, little midget. No, you haven't. But the question is, in the debate on Thursday night, he says the answer on Social Security is eliminating waste, fraud, and abuse. Speaking of eliminating waste, when's the last time you took a big dump there, Mr. Christie? I've given my answer to Social Security, George, so I'm not disagreeing with what you're saying. What I'm saying to you is that...

So you're disagreeing with Donald Trump? What I'm saying is that he's going to give more... It's just his tits. Yeah, enough. You're giving me a fucking headache, okay? Oh, what the fuck? What the hell's going on out here i don't know i have no idea that's how it works that's how politics it really didn't dawn on me but you know i've seen this before i'm old enough it's not the first election i've followed but somebody dropping out of a race somebody that

you were just calling a piece of garbage for the last couple months. Now you're like, no, he's got some good points and some great qualities. Somebody's got to teach. You know what I love about the success of Trump? He's got blonde hair and blue eyes, and he's a white billionaire. He's the devil incarnate to liberals. He is just the fucking devil. He is the devil because he's got blue eyes and blonde,

everything they despise. Just likei-like features what scares me is when he waves somebody's got to teach him to bend his elbow because he puts that hand out there and a lot of pictures it looks like he's doing the fucking heil hitler thing you got to bend the elbow and open the fingers don't have all your fingers together and when you give a thumbs up you don't give the top third of your thumb stick the whole thumb up there Jesus Christ Donald get with it will you but there it is Christy endorsing him and

how about fucking did you guys catch any of the debate it was like deaf comedy they were ripping each other can I give you my opinion on that of course they can it's my fucking show sit and listen I'm listening to these talk shows and you know CNN and MSNBC, and they're all mocking, even ABC, CBS.

They're all mocking the Republican debates, and it's turned into WWE wrestling, and it's embarrassing. They're really getting down on the... Yeah, you know why? Do you know why that is? They had 17 fucking candidates, and they've had like 10 debates. They're actually making an effort to vet somebody to find out who really is the fucking last one standing. They're actually making a real effort to vet these guys to find out who would be suitable to be president of the United States, as opposed to the other side where you have a coronation with thick-ankled dog face,

and it's a farce, and you get a socialist to play her foil and nobody's there's no there's no vetting going on i think that's a great point by me and somebody should pick up on it and spread it of course they're down in the mud now they're doing personal insults there's nothing left to fucking talk about they've been debating this is like they're literally their 10th debate what the fuck else can they talk about that's what what happens. You're in a room. You're busting each other's balls. You and your friends, you're having, you know how that starts. You're having, you know, verbal jousting. Then you start fucking, you know, when you were kids, you start wrestling around. And all of a sudden, one of you is like elbows, one of you is in a face by accident. You're like, fuck you. And you

sort of elbow him back. Next thing you know, you got a real fucking, uh, pair four going, a real brouhaha, but that's what's, there's nothing else, they have to attack, and Rubio and Cruz, and, and Cruz is actually, you know, very, like, he's, he's like a fucking good lawyer, he, he, he tries to stay out of the fray, even when he gets into it, he's like, Donald, let me just, uh, but, but, but, you know, Rubio says, fuck it. Ruby goes, I'm going to have to get down in the mud. Nothing else is working. This guy's running away with it. So here goes Rubio with his attempt at a little bit insults.

He's going to give Donald some medicine right back at him. If he builds the wall the way he built Trump Towers, he'll be using illegal immigrant labor to do it. There's another girl screaming, dumb bitch. Such a cute soundbite. But it's not a soundbite. There's another girl screaming, dumb bitch. Such a cute soundbite. But it's not a soundbite. It's a fact. Again, go online and Google it. Donald Trump, Polish workers.

You'll see it. The second thing about the trade war, I don't understand because your ties and the clothes you make is made... He used Polish guys to build Trump towers? That's why the numbers,

I guess, in the elevator get on. They were upside down. I'm not shitting you. Oh, come on, Nick. That's a horrible, stereotypical shut, in the elevator they got on. They were upside down. I'm not shitting you. Oh, come on, Nick. That's a horrible, stereotypical shut up. In Mexico and in China. So you're going to be starting a trade war against your own ties and your own suits. All right.

You know why? Because they devalue their currencies. They devalue their currencies. Well, then make them in America. Talking about making a suits and ties in America. Well, make them in America. Let me just tell you. They devalue their currencies. China, Mexico, everybody. We know that, Blondie.

Is he having a girl screaming? Somebody tasing her tits. First of all, one of the things, that's called, there are people that borrow $36,000 to go to Trump University and they're suing him now. $36,000 to go to Trump University. Oh, body blows. And by the way, I've won most of the lawsuit. And by the way, I've won most of the lawsuit. I want to move on. They actually did a very good job,, I've won most of the lawsuit. I want to move on.

They actually did a very good job, but I've won most of the lawsuit. Senator, I want to bring in my colleague, Maria Celeste. Excuse me, let me ask you, am I allowed to respond to this? You're allowed, you've been responded. Okay, well, no, I haven't.

I really haven't. He's talking to the whole thing. It's a fucking comedy. Here's the guy, here's the guy. I love it. That buys a house for $179,000. He sells it to a lobbyist who's probably here for $380,000, and then legislation is passed.

You tell me about this guy. This is what we're going to have this president do. Here's a guy that inherited $200 million. If he hadn't inherited $200 million, you know where Donald Trump would be right now? Selling watches in Manhattan. I'm wrong. I'm wrong. Rubio, you get him and all these fucking people oh you see what's going on in the republican debates i mean it's

getting like pro wrestling absolutely all these elitist fucking jerk offs on tv you guys take yourself way too serious you take this country way too serious you take politics way too serious it's a government of for and by the fucking idiots okay so why are you getting so shocked when you pit these guys against each other for the last eight months what the fuck else you want them to attack each other on and naturally as you get closer to the the actual prize you're trying to win it's going to get dirtier. Again, as opposed to the other side where Hillary wouldn't even do a debate for the first three months.

Which party is making the real effort to find somebody to run this country? I ask you, you titless wonders, meaning you dems, I'm asking a question. And that's what it's turned into. And I'm loving it.

And I do love it. It's like a sport yeah it is actually when there's no sports i enjoy this shit it's been the most entertaining i don't care what happens to trump and i gotta be honest with you folks i still don't know who the fuck i'm voting for but let me tell you trump is a freaking hero for just flipping this whole boring shitty system that everybody complains about day in and day out. But soon as he gets in there, he's an idiot, a blowhard. He doesn't, you don't have to be a fucking Harvard law jerk off to be a good president. I think Obama's proved, matter of fact, I think that's guaranteed

to be the worst. We need another Ivy Leaguer in there. I know what's his name with the Wharton, but it's obviously he's a businessman and not a politician, so for you people who hate the system and the status quo in Washington, you should be applauding this fucking guy, and I'm not even saying I'm going to vote for him, I still don't know yet, but just enjoy it, enjoy the food fight, it's fun, quit acting like we're above this shit, okay, we're Americans Americans fucking, you know, we drink 40 ounce fucking big gulps. We eat cheeseburgers with eight pounds of bacon on it. We have the biggest, fattest asses on the planet. We shit out whole bags of marshmallows and

paint it, but we're tubs of lard. Quit taking yourself so fucking serious. Like the current president who really is, uh, uh, uh, this is what he does. I'm a thoughtful man. I have to, uh, he scratches his face and for about four minutes

before he speaks and then he comes out with something that's totally fucking trite and hackneyed. Yes, but he's black, so that was genius. He's a fucking genius. My sister's ass please and then it gets even more interesting so you got uh you got chubby endorsing uh trump

and rubio throwing haymakers and uh by the way he won nevada i can't remember when last time i talked you guys know that but he's going into it's going into Super Tuesday when that's a whole bunch of states are involved. And I think Cruz is ahead a little bit by 10, 9, 10 points in his home state. But if Cruz loses that, Trump is going to fucking sail to victory, I think. Although people are saying Rubio is not out of it yet. I don't know where they're coming up with that but uh people have had enough man not just republicans either so uh the establishment is very nervous and there's some grumblings but guess who came out of his hole today and a guy i like you're gonna go how can you like him because you know i'm always saying how much i love a right winger but uh mitt romney to me who seems like a decent man i watched a documentary read a book on him we all know he

would have been 40 times the president that if i can dope in chief who's currently in the oval office um you know obama couldn't carry romney's book bag you know that and i and i think he would have made a good president because he's a great businessman and he's a decent guy. Again, not really far, not conservative enough for me, only because I want to bring the pendulum back this way. But I think he would have been a great president, Romney. I really do. And anyways, he came out of his hiding today, yesterday, a couple days ago. And anyways, he came out of his hiding today, yesterday, a couple of days ago, and he had comments about Donald Trump. As you know, they keep asking him about his taxes, why he won't release his tax returns.

And he says he's being audited and people on TV say that doesn't matter. The IRS has given him permission to release him. He's being really secretive about his tax returns, apparently. And so Romney, remember, they hit Romney hard on that when he delayed for about a week. Remember they were busting his balls about his taxes and shit. And so Romney, I guess he piped up. And to me, it's a little more than just him commenting on these candidates' tax returns and Trump's. I think a little more, we should look into it a little deeper,

but here's Romney talking about Trump and his tax returns. You know, frankly, I think we have good reason to believe that there's a bombshell in Donald Trump's taxes. What do you mean? Well, I think there's something that he's not anywhere near as wealthy as he says he is, or he hasn't been paying the kind of taxes we would expect him to pay, or perhaps he hasn't been giving money to the vets or to the disabled like he's been telling us he's been doing. And I think that's the reason that I think there's a

bombshell in there is because every time he's asked about his taxes, he dodges and delays and says, well, we're working on it. Hey, we're not talking about the taxes that are coming due this year. Of course they're working on those. They won't be ready for a month. We're talking about taxes already filed, back taxes. And my back taxes, what I ran in 2012, my back taxes I put out in January of 2012. We're now in late February, and we still haven't seen either Donald Trump's or Marco Rubio's or Ted Cruz's taxes.

And frankly, the voters have a right to see those tax returns before they decide who are not. The other reason I liked Romney as a candidate, you know how they try to dig up dirt? You know, they go, they're going to go nuts on Trump. They're already bringing up Ted Cruz brought up. I'm not even talking. Well, I'm talking about the media, but even Cruz brought up, you know, Trump doing business. He was a developer in New York City. So, you know, where do you think that cement comes from? The Cub Scouts? You know, there's a few Italian boys in Jersey that fucking run the concrete industry and uh

fat tony salerno somebody brought up his name today this is like a soap opera but but i liked you know why i like romney they they try to dig up dirt on you they'll dig every skeleton on you what's the worst they came up with romney when he was running well he's ran twice right what's the worst they came up with he was a. Apparently he bullied some kid in prep school. Him and his buddies held the guy down and shaved his head. That's all they could come up with. And then they had that little tape of him saying that half the country wouldn't vote for him because they want free stuff. Which was so you get penalized for saying honest shit.

That's where we are. But that's why I liked him. And he's a brilliant fucking guy. And I think he'd make a great president. But my point being is he's resurfacing now. Actually, he had more to say about Trump's taxes. Here we go. But I think it's pretty clear that given Donald Trump's dodging and weaving and delay, I think the last time he was asked about his taxes, he said, well, it's going to be months. Look, people have a right to know if there's a problem in those taxes before they decide who are not going to be. Well, what kind of problem would you envision? Either the low rate that he's paying, if that's the case, or the fact that he doesn't give as much to charity or veterans groups or whatever? Well, you've gone through a good list there. One, we could find he doesn't have anywhere near as much income as we might think he would have with the ten billion dollar net worth or

or he doesn't pay any taxes repays very very low tax when you are you saying you think he's worth significantly less than i don't i don't know i'm just saying what it is the fact that he is is so uh... aggressive in avoiding any discussion of taxes of his taxes and is not willing to put them out so far, suggests that there's something in there he doesn't want us to see. By the way, any time you talk about money, Donald Trump likes to tell you how wealthy he is, how he's worth billions of dollars.

The last time he was asked about his taxes on the Today Show, he said, you know, they're beautiful. All right? They're big and they're beautiful. Well, great. He likes to tell people how well he's done. Why isn't he willing to let us look at the tax? Yes. Why?

But here's the thing. My question. Don't you find all this curious that Romney is going pop in his face into the public right now? And I'm telling you why this is interesting, because this rumblings behind the scene. We all know that the Republican establishment is shitting their pants. They don't want Trump. I don't know why he's crushing the competition. He'll eat Hillary alive with those fucking cankles, spit them right on the stage in her big yellow toenails. But they're worried that Trump's going to ruin the Republican brand.

And they are. They're shitting their pants. They don't want him. The establishment is're shitting their pants they don't want him the establishment is really shit so there's some rumblings and I've read on the internet here and there they think Romney is he's huddling together with the Koch brothers and Rubio and they might pull some kind of stunt and pull the rug out from you know I don't even know how that convention thing works the open convention the broken convention that it's so fucking complicated but I'm saying Romney is lurking in the background

and it would drive real conservatives nuts. Like my pal Mark Levin would go crazy if fucking Romney got back into this. You know, the real hardcore conservatives who like Cruz and, you know. But he's the one guy who, to me, is, hey, William F. Buckley said, you vote for the conservative that's the most electable

or something like it. I'm paraphrasing, right? And to me, Romney was that guy. So wouldn't that be unbelievable if he tries to jump back? Holy shit. But let me ask you, and again, this would never happen because Romney would never be number two to Trump on his ticket and vice versa.

Right. I don't think Trump. Of course not. Trump would never. But, you know, how would how would a Romney Rubio ticket fucking lose? How in a zillion years? And I know I'm talking. I know I always say, like like i like the far right i'm i want somebody to the right of mussolini and but i'm just saying i

want to win we fucking we have to defeat these scumbags on the left what were their white privilege and i'll get to a couple of stories before i go here about you know white privilege and they're really actually fucking targeting white males in the funniest fucking ways. It's really coming through, all this shit. But anyways, I'm just saying, a Romney-Rubio ticket or vice versa, excuse me. And again, and I love Trump, I love what he's done,

but you got to think about winning this one because of Antonin, excuse me, But you got to think about winning this one because of Antonin. Excuse me. Antonin Scalia dying. Excuse me. Oh, my gosh. You know, Scalia dying.

So this this this thing, this this election is fucking huge. It's huge. It's huge. So I'm just saying Romney seems to be lurking. And I just find it very peculiar that he surfaces to talk about something like this. And he's like, I'm only bringing it up because I'm very sensitive. They went after me about my time. I don't know. Maybe, maybe I'm just, uh, you know, I don't know. Interesting, huh, folks? Maybe not. Let me tell you a dick joke. Okay. Let's lighten the mood. Let's, uh, let's lighten the mood Let's bring in Let's have a little monologue From my favorite character ever on TV You know him as Pauly Walnuts

His real name is Tony Sirico Here's one of the funniest moments on The Sopranos When he's talking to Tony Soprano Who's in a coma And this is Pauly Walnuts talking to him Just trying to stay positive in the hotel room He's in the service I won the chill-ups cup three weeks in a row.

Fucking beautiful definition, too. Guy asked me to model for the boxing poster. He was half a fag, but I was flat at just the same. Now, look at this. Fucking wrinkles like an old lady's cunt. Oh, come on, folks. There are people, I know there's like young comics I talk to who have never seen The Sopranos.

You have to be fucking kidding me. It's still better than anything I've watched. Breaking Bad couldn't carry fucking Terry Winter's book bag. And I love Breaking Bad, by the way. I'm just saying. Pauly Walmot's talking. He had a nice definition in his arms. The guy was a half a fag that said it.

But look at now. He pulls the skin on the back of his arm. He goes, look at. Fucking wrinkles like an old lady's cunt. That'll make me laugh till I'm 100. I'm sorry. It's my favorite word. And I'll never let it go.

Anyways, Mom, i hope you're not listening my mother actually fucking listened to the she goes i listened to your part she can't even she don't know how to use the remote for christ's sake on her tv and all of a sudden she's tapping into the podcast like she's rob sprance um oh get this folks real quick story for you i go on twitter and uh i swear to god it's a kid tweets me he goes hey nick i just rear-ended your mom and dad on route 62 in your hometown can you fucking imagine my mother who's you know like 78 she's driving my dad has alzheimer's so he's in the passenger side. They're going out to dinner to their favorite restaurant on a Friday, no, Wednesday night, and it was raining, and I guess, and when the guy said Route 62, I knew right, I knew,

and there's a fucking hundred intersections on Route 62. I just, it's that instinctive family, I just knew, I'm picturing my mother getting, I almost said I picture my mother getting rear-ended Holy shit that would have fucking Easy Easy Yeah The light was an intersection

The light turned yellow because it was raining My mother said she stopped She said she usually goes through yellow light But she just happened to stop because it was And this guy hit her from behind Nothing serious cracked the fucking bumper and shit But but how funny is that, I'm texting back with a guy, you know, you know, I checked on my parents about a week and a half later, anyways, no, I called them a couple hours later, let them, you know, finish their fucking, the applesauce and

chicken figures, and everybody was fine, the guy said your parents could have been nicer. And thank you, dude. I forget your name. I know it was on Twitter. But isn't that weird? What a world we live in. I find that on Twitter. Then there was a picture of my younger sister with one of these Sanio Spurs. Santonio Spurs.

God, that could have been funny if it came out in English. Anyways, what the fuck? Santones. God, that could have been funny if it came out in English. Anyways, what the fuck? Hey, this is the angry black women part of the show. That's sort of the theme I haven't even got to. Not the theme of the show today, but the second half of the show at least.

You know Melissa Harris Perry? You know who she is? The little black, cute little black woman on MSNBC with a little lisp she's actually I actually find her cute because she has a little lisp I don't know what that says about me but um she's very she very doesn't like white people just just doesn't like them and tries to hide it and always just always I should have looked up some of her past comments but she's always she's just obsessed with the some of her past comments, but she's always, she's just obsessed with the race and can't get the fucking, she's just obsessed with it. Anyway, she walked off her own show on MSNBC because they kept, you know, because of election

coverage, they'd have to, you know, what do you call it? Her show kept getting booted, you you know at the last second for election coverage that's what happens she's in a dispute about airtime and editorial freedom and she was refusing to host the show that bears her name um she wrote to co-workers this week that her show had effectively been taken away from her and that she felt worthless in the eyes of NBC News executives who are restructuring MSNBC. The minute I read that, the minute I read she felt worthless, you know, quote unquote, in the eyes of executive MSNBC News executives, I knew right away, oh, there we go again, because you know those are fucking white guys.

Here is the reality. Our show was taken without comment or discussion or notice in the midst of an election season. She wrote an email which became, after four years of building an audience, developing a brand, and developing trust with our viewers, we were effectively and utterly silenced.

Her show's on from 10 a.m. to noon, Saturdays and Sundays, and it's on MSNBC. That means there's more people listening to me right now that have seen her show in the last three years. Can I just say that? She was frustrated her time slot had faced preemptions for coverage of the presidential election. She said she had not appeared on the network at all for weeks, and that she was mostly sidelined during recent election coverage in South Carolina and New Hampshire.

I will not be used as a tool for their purposes, she wrote. I am not a token. Here we go. Listen to this. This is a quote. I am not a token mammy or little brown bobblehead. I am little brown bobblehead.

I got one. Actually, it was Big Poppy Night. It's a big brown bobblehead. I am a little brown bobblehead. I got one. Actually, it was Big Poppy Night. It's a big brown bobblehead. I am not owned by Lack, Griffin, or MSNBC. I love our show. I want it back. You see, Miss, and it goes on to explain, Miss Harris Perry is black.

She has dreadlocks, but she's a light-skinned black. That's why she's so angry. And she's actually cute. But boy, does she just fuck. She's racist. She's just a racist. Hates white people with a passion. You'll never hear anybody say it.

You have to tune in here. Ms. Harris Perry is black, and Mr. Lack and Griffin are white. In the phone interview on Friday, Ms. Harris Perry clarified her remarks. They always do this, and they backpedal like a defensive back in a fucking cover too. Oh, no racial intent there. Clarified her remarks and said she did not think race played a role in her recent absence from the air. I don't know if there is a personal racial component. She said, I don't think anyone is doing something mean to me because I'm a black person.

Yeah, you do. That's exactly what you think, you fucking liar. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Don't backpedal. Own it. Own it. You don't like white men.

You think they fucking run the world like every black chick does today because it's what you've been taught in college and high school and since the goddamn 60s, even though she was probably born in 84 but uh just admit it just own your hate of white fellas just fucking own it and they'll have a lot more respect for you and she's had there's been a million other incidents that's all she does is talk about race then she went on to say i care only about some substantive and meaningful and autonomous work she wrote in her email when we we can do that, I will return, not a moment earlier. If you want me, I'll be stewing my own juices.

You know what I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about, right? A lot of that angry, a lot of that anger, huh? A lot of that angry, a lot of that anger, huh? A lot of that female black anger. Every story I read about on the internet, political stories, all pointing the finger at white males. White heterosexual males need not fucking apply. And of course, the knee-jerk reaction of the liberal is,

oh, poor fucking oppressed white guy. It's not the point, fuckface. And I'll prove that with my next couple stories that this shit exists. Not my... Excuse me. Speaking of angry black women, not that this woman's particularly angry, but

have you heard about this little app? Equipay? E-Q-U-I-P-A-Y, Equipay? Equipay. It's a new app. It's called Equipay. It divides the bill based on a group's member. When you go out to eat and you're trying to figure out the bill, who's going to pay what,

it divides the bill based on a group member's demographic characteristics and the presumed wage gap they suffer while working well there's only one demographic that you know presumes that they get fucked as far as wages go right and that would be what it would be fucking women right and uh obviously this app has a pecking order can you imagine again this is another way to get the get a white guy to fucking pay more when you go out to eat. Under the banner of fairness, the app sticks white guys with more of the bill while women and members of minority groups get a price cut. I would love for somebody to pull this out. I could be at a meeting with the heads of NBC.

And if somebody pulled this out, I'd go stick that up your fucking dirty ass. Here's 11 bucks. I had chicken fingers and two Heinekens. All right. Kiss my white European nuts. Then I'd storm out of the Applebee's with my bottle of you who anyways. Where did I leave off? The the Equipe creator and comedian Luna Melbro calls it reparations one meal at a time. She's a black female comedian. Can you imagine? Do you see how this shit has been drilled into the head? That fucking victim shit? It's in their DNA. It's in their bones. in their DNA. It's in their bones. See, this is all based on, this is the idea. You know, women get paid, apparently the number now is 78 cents on the dollar as opposed, you know, to a guy. You know, the 78 cents on a dollar mantra is pushed on women as evidence that they are all doomed victims of rampant discrimination in our overwhelmingly sexist society so the way in other words for every buck a guy makes doing the same work a woman gets 78 and it's been debunked a thousand times if you fucking you know get past your fucking

politically correct reflexive horseshit um all emotion mentality and actually look into it it's been debunked by feminists by women by if you if you figure in the amount of time guys work experience education it breaks down to like even oh i think i think the girls get shorted by a penny and in some cases it has the women actually making more that's if you want to look into it a little deeper and not just scratch the surface like this dumb female comedian did but again she's a black woman and uh you know she's got a hate on for white guys because that's what she's been taught she's a victim see because uh this this app all that all this app does it compares the earnings of the average man against the average woman and a girl wrote this a girl excuse me a woman in new york post wrote the article and was making the point that this app is a bunch of shit so that's what i'm saying see

when women some women out there actually can be objective about this and not their let their i was just going to get rude but but I'm too tired. This app does not take into account the number of hours worked, industry, workplace conditions, you know, little pesky things like that. Years of work and the many other factors that impact how much someone earns. The average full-time working man works 40 minutes more each day than an average full-time working woman. Bet you didn't know that, did you, Miss fucking Luna? That's an 8% gap in work time. Okay? Male workers also spend 23% more time commuting than female workers do. And people say, well, why do they do that? And the woman says, probably because they spend a lot of their lives in traffic and crowded trains. You know why?

They spend a lot of their lives in traffic and crowded trains. You know why? So they can get to a better job that makes more money. Men also suffer. Get this one. Here's the one that, to me, is the reason that we should have an edge. Men also suffer 92% of fatal work injuries. Look, I died twice at the brokerage in the last two years.

Men, yeah. Men suffer 92% of fatal work injuries. Is it really so surprising, this woman asked, that men are paid more when they take on such significant risk? Thank you. I should have wrote the woman's name who wrote the article. Actually being objective. So I looked up Miss Luna Melbro.

I don't know how you say her last name. I might be butchering it, but it doesn't really matter because she's about as funny as fucking Ben Carson, who actually has a good sense of humor. That was a stupid reference. But yeah, let's play a little. I don't want to be totally unfair. Let's play a little Luna Malbro, some of her stand-up comedy. Give her a little air time.

You know what I mean? She's a struggling comic, and let's see what she's got. She usually can bring the funny. But I'm feeling good. I'm feeling really excited to be here. There's so much that I'm really excited about. Right there, you're lying. Anytime you're a comedian going,

I'm excited to be here, they're lying to your face. Unless maybe she's at a level where she only gets on stage because she's so unfunny once every six months. Maybe she is excited to be here. But any comic who works all the time is when they go,

I'm really excited to be here. I guarantee all the way on that gig, whether it was on a plane or in the car they're like oh fucking not this shit again playing to these drunken dickheads not me i love my fans i've been doing it 48 years so i have real fan but let's listen to more of the comedy stylings of luna melborough um black woman comedian who hates white fellas one i look fucking fantabulous this is in san francisco by the way i just lost 15 pounds on a brand new diet brand new diet called broke excuse me she's got a pretty face she's heavy but broke?

She's got a pretty face. She's heavy, but attractive. I just can't afford to buy food. It's quite simple. But really, I'm feeling really blessed right now. I just got back from vacation recently. I went to went to panama yes yes if anyone's been there get to the remote islands and sand blasts and it was so interesting because i got to these islands and one of the native islanders there greeted me in the most interesting way he i think i'm going to point out a mistake right here see that a lot of girly comedians make.

It's been 21 seconds since you've said anything funny. You've got to have a punchline at least every 21 seconds. Okay? They're not known for their brevity, and it goes for anybody, from my wife to my mom to my sister. Nick, that's very misogynistic. Yeah, whatever. She made an app that sticks it to white guys. I don't give a fuck.

You thought it was really funny, but, but he approached me and he said, Your hair, your skin, you look like Whoopi Goldberg. And I tried to explain to him, like, that's really offensive. You know, not all black people look alike. And then his response was oh i'm so sorry i actually meant the other one serena williams to which i responded thank you thank you very much i will take that compliment thank you can you imagine that was in san francisco and you can hear guys in the audience laughing that's why I haven't played out there in 15 years.

Guys are actually laughing at that. And they're not faking it. They actually find it funny, or they feel the need to laugh because it's a woman of color attempting comedy. And again, I'm sure she gets some funny stuff, but I'm not going to go out of my way to look for it when she's got an app that's trying to stick it to white guys. You know what I'm saying she gets some funny stuff, but I'm not going to go out of my way to look for it when she's got an app that's trying to stick it to white guys. You know what I'm saying?

Okay. I think. So, yeah. So, you want to support the comedy stylings of Luna Melbro. She's the one who invented the app that it it's reparations one meal at a time she said so um and i'm sure she'd say well i'm just it's a joke i really don't okay well i'm gonna start joking see how far i go i'm gonna come up with an app when i walk into like a bodega and i you know like a scan prices

and i it's going to tell you how much more the product is because of black shoplifters. There's an app, huh? Yeah, that's just horrible, Nick. Yeah, I know. Well, it's racism. It's a two-way street, although you wouldn't know it. But here's another example.

Only this is a white woman who hates white male privilege, apparently. And the headline is, Comedy Festival will charge white men more to fight the wage gap. Again, with a fake fucking wage gap. An up-and-coming comedy festival in New York City is, good, I can go and heckle and ruin the show, is charging different rates for attendees

in an apparent effort to check the privilege of straight white men. Just think about that for a second. The Cinderblock Comedy Festival, which will be held September, I'm not even going to tell you the dates, fuck them and their hipster jerk-off neighborhoods. It's going to be held in Brooklyn somewhere, where everybody walks around with beards, including the women. But the festival has one very notable policy.

Currently, only women, non-whites, and those who identify as LGBT are allowed to apply for an early bird price of $19.25. Straight white men, on the other hand, will only be allowed to apply starting March 15th. Okay, they make you wait to apply later, and you have to pay $25 to do so. Festival director Corey Spencer, I'll spell Corey C-O-R-E-E, said the discount was intended to closely match the off-quoted and off-criticized statistic that women earn just 77% of what men earn. The 77 cents to the dollar is definitely a political statement, Spencer told the Daily Dot. Originally, that 77 cent discount was supposed to be just for women in the early stages as i was doing a little more research and kind of growing as a human being i realized what a dick i realized that the discount

should be extended out to other groups that i want to be part of in order to create the festival that i want besides being a poke at the alleged wage gap the different fees also relate to frequent complaints that comedy is overly dominated by white men you know why because we're funnier than all you fucks how's that for honesty couldn't carry my joke book spencer argues that cinder block is intended to be a diverse festival. Do you hear the robotons you guys have created, you fucking liberal jerk-off professors in your college campuses? Congratulations, you have fucking robots out there. It's intended to be a diverse festival with non-white male comics included as a core feature rather than an afterthought.

I really have to organize a white male only comedy festival. I gotta do it just to get fucking arrested or shut down. I really do. Because let's be honest, guys and girls, I know girls who have said they go to a comedy club and, you know, they're like, oh, for Christ's sake, unless it's somebody. Oh, I bring Kendra Cunningham. You know why? Because she fucking kills and she's funny. I'm not saying they don't exist out there. I'm just saying there's a reason.

And the whole thing, the white male dominated, yeah, there's more of us, for Christ's sake. I personally find black comics funnier right now. You know what I mean? I mean, they have more leeway

so they can be more honest. But I like when they talk about black, like when Rock goes after, talks about black culture, or even the guys at the stand, some young black guy, it's the funniest fucking shit, but, yeah, there's more white guys doing comedy, sorry, can you imagine, can you imagine starting a festival and going, yeah, but we're only going to reach out to, we want to reach out, I don't want to reach out to comics of color

or female comedians, because a lot of times they're just thrown on the show, you know, because they're really not that funny, but because of the times we live in, you have to have a girl or a minority on the show. And we all know, a lot of times it fucks up the show. So I'm trying to do that comedy festival. And I'm going to charge

chicks and black and Hispanic comics more to apply to be in my festival. Anybody have a problem with that? There'd be a fucking line around the White House.

Imagine she comes around and says it's intended to be a diverse festival with non-white male comics included as a core feature rather than an afterthought how about your left tit here's an afterthought for you fix it spencer told the daily dot that she's considering discriminating with ticket prices as well she's going to charge white fucking males more. And let me tell you, if she... First of all, I don't think any of this is legal. Any of it. Even the applying for the buggin'.

But there's no way she can charge more because there's all kinds of laws that, you know, apply to bars about discriminating on sex and buggin'. I don't even think they can have girls night anymore. Remember some guy brought a suit, that never bothered me, you know, it was like a nickel a shot for chicks, I don't know why some guy would want to fuck that up, cut you me in the parking lot 10 minutes later, again, this is when I was single, two fingers up a girl who weighs 177, and she's on her fifth, anyways,

and she's on a fifth hiney. Anyways, un-fucking-believable. Let's listen to Corey Spencer because she does comedy also. Maybe she's right. Maybe there aren't too many white straight guys doing comedy. Let's see if she can bring the heat.

Horrible porno that I would name Holy Fuck. Alternate titles to this include Oh My Fucking God. Ooh, edgy edgy edgy making fun of god edgy shit and of course jesus is coming so i'm dieting guys he's like every american woman i'm constantly trying to get down to my kindergarten weight a tight little body back then yeah sure and hell don't know now

just watched a clip of her i can see why her anger comes from but uh boy she brought the heat huh i can see why with an act like that in writing ability and that funny bone that uh i can see why um she has a right to complain there's too many white straight guys because i mean she's bringing the funny at 170 miles an hour wasn't she sure she was that's terrific cory unfunny and racist uh and anti-male is really no way to go through life but good luck with your career. I hope I see you in the circuit. I can punch you right in your big hairy nuts.

Anyways, that's the show for today. An hour and six minutes on a Monday. Holy Christ. Anyways, kids, remember, if you like the show and you want to hear it two to three more shows a week, go to connectpal.com slash nick

that's c-o-n-n-e-c-t-p-a-l.com slash nick it's $3.99 a month and uh jump on this fucking bandwagon because the subscriptions are just climbing every week so uh i thank you so much i will uh talk to you tomorrow we'll continue i want to talk about more white privilege um you know quote unquote white privilege and the white privilege tax and it's gonna be fun all right also catch me tomorrow morning that's right i'll be going to bed in a well i shouldn't say tomorrow but you listen to this on Monday, so I really just fucked this up. Anyways, I'm not going to release this show tonight. Forget what I just said. I will talk to you. I'm doing radio in New York one of these days this week. All right. That's all. I think that's it. I'll plug my dates. You guys are the best. Liberace will tell you just how I feel.

I love you for helping me to construct my life. Not a tavern, but a temple. I love you because you have done so much to make me happy. You have done it without a word, without a touch, without a sign. You have done it by just

being yourself. Perhaps after all, I'm going to talk about the clan tomorrow. That is what love means. And that is why I love you. Good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.