The Nick DiPaolo Show - 129 - The Woman's Club, Bill vs BLM, Bernie the Entertainer, Bomani

Episode Date: April 11, 2016

The Woman's Club, Bill vs BLM, Bernie the Entertainer, Bomani

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. How are you? Great to be back home again after a nice trip to Minneapolis, where it kicked up into the low teens, I think. Mother of Christ. How are you? Hey, I played the Women's Club in Minneapolis. That's right, folks, this past weekend, and it was a lot of fun. Loved that city, and I'll get to that in a few seconds. As a matter of fact, as far as contributions go,

one of the guys in the audience that came up after the show, Jonathan Keller, who's a regular contributor, and he contributes like real money. He introduced himself along with his gorgeous wife, and he was like a good-looking guy and very successful couple. And it was great that I finally get to meet him. I got the guy comp tickets, but he insisted on making a big fat contribution. I said, take that back. And he wouldn't. And great guy. And it's nice to meet him and his wife.

And who else? My buddy Jared, who always comes to the shows when I'm in Minneapolis. And Dan King. Danny King is a hero cop who was shot a few years ago he's now retired I mean almost died and I talked about him probably on my earlier podcast him and uh another cop and uh yeah they've been big fans and uh matter of fact uh another sense is killing I used him on the album you can't see it's It's in the background, but him and another cop. But he came with his wife.

And I met a few other people. And, but thank you to Jonathan Keller, who contributed again after the show. And then Stephen Morrissey, who's contributed before. Thank you so much for your contribution to the show. It makes it possible. so much for your contribution to the show it makes it possible it provides the food that gives me the energy to to do p90x and uh then to do the show i'm sitting here in a damp pair of uh shorts i worked out before the podcast which ensures me of some nice red blisters on my ass if i sit here long enough it's like having a wet diaper on anyways but i actually sweat when i work out anyways folks uh if you like this you're listening

to this on itunes probably for free this is the monday show and on riotcast and stitcher but if you want more nick topalo podcast i call it the vicious little podcast uh go to connectpal.com slash Nick connectpal.com slash Nick. And it'll, uh, it'll take you right there to sign up. It's like three easy steps. A fucking retarded parrot can do it. And I know that because we have one sign up this week, but, uh, yeah, connectpal.com slash Nick. And, um, thanks for all who contribute and thanks for all who are subscribing I appreciate it this is actually the most fun I have career-wise doing this so Minneapolis yeah the Women's Club of Minneapolis a nice venue and I thank them I want to thank them for having me in there I don't know if they you know were familiar with me and i just did my usual

stuff and i'm sure i bristled a few people i saw a few women in the audience i think that the lights were in my eyes and i can't tell if they were women or not uh because of the lights that i'm not making a crack there but a few of them had their arms folded with their heads cocked and uh they were stroking their beards going this motherfucker we didn't know he was gonna do this i had to but uh but it was great good turnout and uh and yeah minneapolis is always great to me and uh it was it was great um i get to the hotel and i i usually do this the first day i get to some place i'll ask if the venue you know it's usually within walking distance of the hotel so i asked the lady at the front desk and she goes yeah but

it's a little cold out and i'm like yeah what do you know it's a it's a little over a mile away please i'm not a pussy so i walked out of the hotel i took a left i went 50 feet and i started crying my fucking nose hairs were frozen together with the wind it had to be in the low 20s with the wind maybe even teens and uh it was blowing in my face the whole walk to the venue i couldn't move my goddamn lips and my eyes were watering and i went to school look i grew up in boston and i went to school to university of maine at orono it's 300 miles north of boston for christ's sake so i know cold but uh you know i didn't really dress uh you know i I had a Lady Gaga T-shirt on and a pair of tight leather shorts, which is what I wear when I get to a new town. But I fucking froze by the time I got, I didn't even go into the building and walked by kind of a seedy park.

I think it's called Loring Park or whatever. I thought I was going to get hit, stabbed in the ass or hit with a poison dart walking through that neighborhood even during the day. But anyways, great venue, beautiful venue beautiful venue like five six hundred seats just this quaint beautiful uh stage and uh it was great and this funny kid opened for me this kid mike lester he's a local and this is what they do in minneapolis lewis lee who's in charge of acme he owns it he grooms these young guys he really is a bit of a genius this guy and uh lewis lee and and mike lester opened for his baby face kid who remind me of a even more nerdy joe list this kid had a baby face he looked like he was 14 with glasses

and he wears like a sweater like an old cardigan that like an old guy would wear but he had like a kind of a dark uh funny sense of humor very self-deprecating and uh i got a real kick out of him and i think you'll be hearing a lot from that kid because he he's like a wordsmith he was uh his writing was great and um so yeah i want to thank him it's not easy to walk out to a cold audience like that and he did and he fucking lit him right up with some uh really well-written shit, so I look forward to working with him again. Matter of fact, I told Lewis,

next time I go back to Minneapolis, I would like that guy to open for me, and apologies to Tom Bernard. He'll never hear this. He doesn't listen to my podcast. I don't blame him. Guy's been in radio for 71 years, but I was going to go.

He invited me to his house on Friday to watch the Masters. And he's got like this beautiful house that a lot of comics have been to that I heard about. And there's this trip of Paul in the kitchen, he told me. No, he's got like a big, you know, one of those, what do you call it? Media rooms with a giant screen. And we're going to watch the Masters the masters and Rocco Mediate who's a pro golfer was gonna be there actually but I woke up on Friday I woke up I had sweated through my sheets I was in the bathroom all morning it's something I don't I don't know what I did it's right after I worked out I got really like run down and shit and and but then you know what i ate a lot of stuff that i think i'm gonna poison myself i don't know but i felt horrendous and uh so i told uh you know

i texted tom bernard saying look i'm not coming because if i have a bug i don't want to give it to your whole family which i thought was the right thing to do and i never heard back from the son of a gun he probably said uh go fuck yourself nick enough of this shit but uh i would like to get to his house someday and uh because he's a good he's a good dude he's got a great family and uh lewis lady i can't say enough about this guy he's the uh he's the guy that owns acme and after the show we have our ritual he takes me out for a nice steak. Me, him, and the opening comedian, and this guy Derek that works, the manager at Acme.

We went to Capitol Grill. I had a 16-ounce bone-in filet. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ, was that good. As red as your tits, too, you know? Yeah, but red meat stays in your car. Shut up. I'd rather die.

If you told me that meat and that steak is going to knock me off at 61 by the way that's seven years from now i'd still eat it that's how fucking good it was like an 18 year old's and uh what a fucking meal not to mention the calamari and i had fucking half a dozen oysters on the half shell and uh some delicious wine and then uh the waiter was really funny he was from croatia but he looked just like a mini mario batali i go you're like a fucking mini me you look like a healthy mario batali like 20 years ago it's cracking me up and he was funny i'm riffing at the table making lewis laugh and the other comment and he and he pipes in as he's handing us the appetizers he throws in a few zingers. And I think his name was Mike or whatever.

But anyways, it's Louis Lee's, just the best. I just, you know. Yeah, and I stayed at the Chambers Hotel, Le Meridian Chambers or whatever. And they had a fucking happy hour. And this is what happens when you get married. And, you know, you start to get uh cooped up and you get uh cabin fever whatever but soon as i got to minneapolis i get to this beautiful hotel i took care of my

business listened to my sets made some notes blah blah blah and then i noticed it says happy hour from three to six so i wandered down about ten or four cut to me an hour and a half later babbling drunk like it was my senior prom in high school fucking just just i don't know and it got very gay in there i was looking there was so many like gay people i don't know if it's a gay hangout nobody told me this hotel or it just happens at happy hour i guess it's just i don't know but uh it was really highfalutin it was called them you know marin that's the restaurant slash uh uh the bar and uh based on like marin county in northern california where they charge you uh you know they can charge you 38 bucks for a beer because everybody works in silicon valley and

makes two million a year on average. And there was I'm not kidding you on the menu. There was a roast chicken for fifty eight dollars. I call the front desk. I had to bust balls. I go, you have a I said, you have a mistake. You have it says 10 ounce tenderloin, eighty nine dollars. And I said, a roast chicken for 58 and i said that roast chicken

better fucking come with like a kilo of coke in its belly how do you fucking and she goes yeah well the the guy explained to me this hotel is based on like marin county where everything all the food is there's no antibiotics there no, I don't give a fuck if it was chained to a fence eating cat shit, this chicken. I'm not going to pay $58 for it. It's all free range and free of antibiotics and, you know, just a fucking scam. And like I said, it's based on Marin County.

People out there can afford that. I go, you're in Minneapolis. Are you fucking dicking me? $89 for a tender a piece of 10 ounce piece of tenderloin i've i've lived in new york city for fucking almost 20 years i've never seen that lick my nuts with those prices cut to me getting chicken fingers for 7.95 and then shitting in the bowl about 10 minutes later but uh no it was fucking outrageously expensive beautiful hotel beautiful bar all these faggy martinis.

Would you like a, you know, fucking George Michael's martini and a... Fruity drinks and... I do like those IPA beer. I do like those microbrewery beers. Just like drinking liquid fucking Italian bread. Had a couple dozen fucking of those. And I actually did have a couple of those martinis. And next thing I know, I'm fucking fucked up.

I go back to the room. I don't know, seven o'clock and I'm laying there. Hadn't eaten all day. I fucking eat everything in the, not the mini bar. You know, they have a thing on top of the fucking with, you know, $40 Snickers. And I ate everything except for the cashews. I think I ate $66 worth of shit. Then fucking laid there drunk.

Went out and had another drink by myself at another bar. Came back around, I don't know, 11 or whatever. And I start to pass out because I didn't feel well to begin with. It's always good to drink like that when you get like a slight fever. Anyways, I wake up, I pass out of my bed, I wake up and my fucking stomach is filled with like acid. And I'm trying not to puke because I don't like throwing up. It's the worst thing in the world to me. But I actually went in the bathroom and I was on my knees with my arms around the bowl. Like you would in high school.

So I don't know. You know I didn't drink that much. But I had like the dry heaves. And it felt like all that junk food wanted to come up. But it wouldn't come up. Don't know what that was about. What am I fucking 18? The room's spinning.

I got the Dorothys. And I threw up a little in my mouth. That's all I remember. And then I realized I forgot my toothbrush. That was good. Went downstairs the next morning and the guy at the front desk and I just went, what do you smell there, fella? Give me a toothbrush. Anyways. And then uh felt better throughout the day but uh that was the trip in a fucking long nutshell oh and there was some douchebag that kept yelling nice shirt nick from the balcony i think he was in the balcony but why would you do that why it's not funny it's fucking it ruins It ruins the show. It breaks the rhythm. And why would you do that?

You know, you're just a sucker of Satan's cock. I'm guessing it was some fucking liberal who didn't like my fucking bent. You know, Minneapolis is a pretty fucking liberal city. A lot of those... But they wouldn't come to my show most of them. Could have been a fan of mine just being a dick. Anyways, don't do that. Don't be a cheese dick. Don't be a cheese dick. Don't be a cheese dick.

Don't be a whole bunch of... So what's going on since I talked to you last? I know there were a couple of primaries and shit. I can't even follow this shit. Are you with me? All that I know... Here's what I've learned from this year's election cycle. I knew nothing about the primaries and the caucus process, and I'm sure most of us don't, because I follow this shit a

little more than most people, because most people have real lives and jobs and have to work 80 hours a week and don't have time. They have kids and real problems. But I am realizing that every cynical bone I had about the political system has been confirmed because it seems like these votes don't even matter these primary colorado what here's the thing it says colorado republicans cancel presidential vote at 2016 caucus and it says this story was published first uh on august 25th that's last summer on 2015 and uh trump blast color Trump blasts Colorado GOP results as totally unfair, published on Sunday,

April 10, 2016. But let me just read a little of this to you. I'm not going to get too heavy into it because it fucking, it is boring, dry shit. But I,

I'm just coming to the realization that it really is like being, you're voting for the delegates. You're not, apparently you're not voting for, you know, Trump himself. You're voting for the delegates that will elect him at the thing um colorado will not vote for a republican candidate for president at its 2016 caucus after party leaders that would be the republican national you know rnc approved a little notice shift that

may diminish the state's clout in the most open nomination contest in the modern era. The GOP executive committee has voted to cancel the traditional presidential preference poll, whatever the fuck that is, after the national party changed its rules to require a state's delegates to support the candidate who wins the caucus vote. The move makes Colorado the only state so far to forfeit a role in the early nomination process, according to political experts, but other caucus states are still considering how to adapt to the new rule.

It takes Colorado completely off the map in the primary season, said Ryan Call, a former state GOP chairman. What the fuck? Republicans still would hold precinct caucus meetings in early 2016 to begin the process of selecting delegates for the national convention, but the 37 delegates are not pledged to any specific candidate. Could we make it a little more fucking complicated?

But what's going on is Ted Cruz knows all this inside shit. He knows how to play this game. So Cruz scooped up all 34 of the delegates available in Colorado at a Republican Party convention that was held without a public, I just said primary or caucus, causing Donald Trump to criticize the processes fixed by GOP insiders. It might not technically be fixed, like might not be illegal, but whatever. But they're making up their own rules as they go along. That's what it feels like to me. How is it possible that the people of the great state of Colorado never got to vote in the Republican primary?

Great anger. Totally unfair, the billionaire tweeted Sunday. The 34 delegates could help keep Trump from getting the 1237 he needs to ensure his nomination at the convention in July. Trump's complaints came as the Colorado GOP showed an apparent bias by tweeting, We did it. Hashtag never Trump. The party later claimed its account had been hacked was it really hacked or is it really a rigged game it does seem fucked up same with uh bernie

sanders like he beat hillary for like their sixth or seventh victory in a row in Wyoming. And like 53 to 37, I think. But she still gets, you know, he only gets like 14 delegates out of it. It's all fucking. I mean, it is really fucking crazy. And here's my take. I'll say it again. Any other election, I'd be furious about people because it's like disenfranchising. It's like you

vote you go out to vote in the prime it doesn't mean anything because all these big wigs and you know smoke-filled rooms are calling the shots but this election coming up i you know yeah trump i'm either i'm fine with either one trump or cruz all right but what I'm saying is, if they're going to pull the shenanigans on Trump and all the people that are supporting him are going to walk away and say, fuck you, and the GOP will go right in the toe, you'll hand it to Hillary, we can't have that happen.

So if they want to bring whoever, and I'm not endorsing, I'm just saying this this election is so fucking important because we can't this country won't survive another four years of of a barack obama's which is basically what hillary is we we can't survive another four years of this liberal horseshit there's no fucking way so i mean i don't care if it's Paul Ryan, fucking Romney, whoever, if we have to do that to fucking win, I'm just saying, let's win, then I'll quit the fucking GOP or whatever, but they are going to piss off millions of people if they pull that shit, you know, but like I said, I don't, anybody but anybody on the left.

Anybody. I don't give a shit. Well, Romney's establishment, he's not a real conservative. Yeah, whatever. Whatever. Just not fucking Hillary. Can't believe that douche is still in... She's all over the television.

I just can't look at her. I get sick to my stomach with those goddamn fucking burnt orange pantsuits. She looks like a giant peach pit. But it is fucked up. So, you know, Trump brought in some guy, Paul Manafort, I think that's his name, who knows the game. He was there in 76 when ford and fucking reagan at that he was there at that convention and he knows this system but but that's where

cruz you know cruz is a super smart he's a fucking lawyer and he knows his shit and he's going back and scooping up all these delegates it's the most fucked up process ever. How about one man, one vote? You use your phone or you do it on TV. And I want a receipt when I vote. I want a receipt. I don't understand why you don't get a receipt showing proof that who I voted for, you know, you think that would be part of it? Good idea. Yes, it is. Anyways, but how about Hillaryary what an embarrassment she's just a fucking embarrassment i mean bernie is really giving her and i really think it was all fucking fake they put bernie up there just to make her look more centrist and he's actually fucking beating her not delegate count but you know what i mean what a rigged thing and i'm serious if this thick ankle

fucking mutt if this bitch fucking with a giant muff and a deeper voice of mine gets elected never i will never vote again you know fucking bernie sand Sanders cracking me up. And God bless him, the energy. Although he's running out. You notice when he speaks, he's a lot... Not as full of piss and vinegar now. He sounds like he's getting tired. Yeah, he's getting...

Oh, he's 74. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. No, it isn't. But... I thought Donald Trump was the only entertainment slash politician in the race. But I was reading Andrea Pizer in the Post, and she's talking about how Bernie is sort of a fake Jew. You know, he's very anti-Israel, and, you know, he's a real fucking lefty.

Arnie's sort of a fake Jew. You know, he's very anti-Israel. And, you know, he's a real fucking lefty. And she mentions, you know, he's a non-practicing anti-Israel kind of Hebrew. She said he was raised in Brooklyn. You know, he had a bar mitzvah, worked as a volunteer in an Israeli kibbutz. That's a farm based on communist principles. I remember Letterman coming out, one of his first shows, going to the live audience. Who here

has ever spent some time in an Israeli kibbutz? That's when he was funny, back in 88. But of, he mentions that Bernie is kind of anti-israel and whatever the fuck and she but she also mentioned some shit i didn't know she talks about when he was on saturday night live we all know that a few weeks back but he was something of a ham he rapped he rapped on a folk

rock album while serving as mayor of burlington vermont in 1987. I didn't know that. Did you guys hear this? Listen to this. Some of this shit. This is, this is who you're going to vote for. You millennials. This is again, you'll find this funny, but this guy, this is Bernie on an with a bunch of musicians from Vermont. As I went walking that ribbon of highway, I saw above me that endless skyway. I thought it needs a toll booth. We need more money for infrastructure. I saw below me that golden valley.

Turns out it was a puddle of piss from some Hasidic Jews. And that on this earth, there will be peace. There will be justice. There will be human rights. Listen to this asshole. These are his greatest hits on the album, by the way. Here's the Democrat Party for you, stuck in 1965. Where have all the soldiers gone long time passing where have all the soldiers gone

long time ago where have all the soldiers gone gone to graveyards everyone when will they ever learn when will they well learn? When will they... Well, if you're talking about the Germans and the Japanese, maybe they never will. And, oh, you're talking about our soldier. Okay. So we're going to live in a world that, yeah, we're all going to hold hands, Barney.

We're going to... The banks are made of marble With a guard in every door Marble every door And the vaults are stuffed with silver That the workers sweated for Yeah, what's your point? Before I'd be a slave that the workers sweated for. Yeah, what's your point? Before I'd be a slave

I'd be buried in my grave and go on to my Lord and be free. For thousands of years, every nation on this earth, men and women have put their lives on the line.

On the line. Believing that freedom and human dignity were often more important than life itself. Yes, you weren't one of those people. You laid around in your house until you were 40 before you got your first paycheck, you mamalook. You mamalak. You fucking hippie dope. All right, just get the hell out of here. afford you before you get your first paycheck, you mamalook, you mamalock, you fucking hippie dope. We're

19 trillion in debt, but I'm gonna give away free tuition for everybody. Illegals and free healthcare. The billionaire class. It's rigged. I said on stage, it's rigged. I said on stage, he's really going after that. I might have said this last show, but I'll say it again because I like the joke.

He's really going after that black vote. He changed his first name to Colonel. That's right. Take it easy, you motherless fucks. Remember, connectpal.com if you want two to three three more of these shows if you don't there's something wrong with you but how about bernie how about him on a fucking folk album i would be using this shit if i was running his campaign because uh it shows he's consistent he's been a fucking living a utopian wet dream forever and he doesn't have any specifics either. When they ask him how he's

going to pay for all this shit, he gets all mumbly and jumbly like the rest of them. Interesting guy. Seems like a confused guy to me. So who better to run the most powerful nation? Well, it used to be until fucking dog shit face got an office. What do you mean by that? You know, Fucking dog shit face got an office. What do you mean by that? You know, stupido. Barack Hussein Mamalouk. And you think, Barney, you think, you know, he's an entertainer. You think music is the only thing that he sticks to?

No. Also, Andrea Pizer mentions that he was in a movie. He donned a yarmulke to play a stereotypically obnoxious rabbi named, get this now, this is a fucking crack name, Manny Shevitz. He played a character, a rabbi named Manny Shevitz.

Manny Shevitz. It was in a movie in 1999, a romantic comedy called My Ex-Girlfriend's Wedding Reception. He gets up as a rabbi at the wedding reception and starts to give a speech, but he starts to ramble. Here it is.

It's pretty funny, actually. Kind of dry. Testing, testing. One, two, three. Can you all hear me? Can you all hear me? My name is Rabbi Manny Shevitz. And I am very pleased that you invited me to be with you today. And I've prepared a few words for this important occasion. Today, we celebrate life.

A very sacred... Black lives matter! Black lives matter! Black lives matter! When I used to walk down my old neighborhood. I added that. It made the movie better. But they didn't exist back then. That was before the Dodgers went to Los Angeles, which was the worst thing. The worst thing that ever happened. And I don't know why we let them do that.

I mean, nowadays, there is no pride. You don't know who owns what team. You don't know who's playing for what. Today, they're here one day and they're gone the next day. It's a terrible thing. I remember when the Dodgers played the Yankees. You bought a ticket and that ticket was good for years.

He's rambling. It's like a Bill Cosby concert. He's going out on a tangent. That's the whole joke of this scene. You see the Cleveland Indians. You see everything, but you don't see the Yankees versus the Red Sox. Okay, I'm getting a little bit off the track here, but let me not take any more of your time. Just one quick thought.

Oh, by the way, that free agency, free agency crap, that really gets me. That's $2 million here, They spent $12 million there. What's so free about that free agency? I can't take that anymore. Okay. Let me just... Did you guys know he was so talented? And that is... You got better credits than I do with this motherfucker.

It's not so bad. Yo, Joe motherfucker. Don't ever go over my head again, you... What, you fucking cigarette holder? Who you fucking Barrymore. There's always tomorrow. There's always tomorrow. It could be worse. Now, let's just thank God you have your arms, you have your legs. Let's eat. That's the scene. I think Siskel and Ebert gave it one of these. Bernie Sanders, he was like the goddamn Sammy Davis Jr.

Well, he's got the Jewish part down. I think he's got both his eyes, though. But this guy, he sings, he dances. At least he believes what he believes, which is total horseshit. But he believes in that horseshit, and I do love that he's giving that fat pig a nice run for her money. I really, I really just, every time I see her talk and see those idiots standing behind they're applauding like retarded seals at the most trite politically correct hackneyed horseshit pouring out of her festering gob not an original thought or name now she's got her dumb fucking

jerk-off husband out there who y'all fucking in love with uh he's out there we'll get into that he got into it with the black lives matters and uh but who hasn't at this point because apparently you know somebody's itching for a race war it's not me and it's not bernie sandys i mean you heard those folk songs they were beautiful he's a fag no, that's not true. Mmm. Gatorade. G2. Low calorie. But, uh,

along that golden highway, Bernie the Entertainer. Bernie the Entertainer. He won Wyoming, and like I said, he doesn't even get all the deli it's such a i really did you guys know how all this shit works and i still don't and and i'm reading the papers every day and it's still i'm listening on tv and it really it really i didn't realize it was so fucking rigged. So shame on me. My goodness gracious hell-o-ees. I can't, I should have taken the gig.

My agent asked me if I wanted to play Hilarities in Cleveland in July. And just the thought of being in Cleveland in July made my stomach turn. But I didn't, fuck, I wasn't thinking that maybe the guy that runs it probably knows my politics and my comedy. I know he does. I worked there years ago. And probably he wanted me in time because that's when the convention's going to be. Maybe. Maybe I'm giving him too much credit.

Maybe it was the only week he had open. But now that I think about it, I should have taken it. But the money sucked. The fuck? Show me a little respect. I see these people on the same posters. They have fucking 180 resume. But, you know, they film themselves dropping a turd in the toilet on YouTube. And that got 200,000 hits.

So that's what it's come down to. One of you guys is going to have to show me how to work the Facebook thing. Because I just fucking hate it. And my wife just said, you know, your numbers are you have a profile page and your numbers should be way better than that and i'm like yeah what do you want me to sit on there all day and fucking jerk off submit little fucking uh clips and shit whatever i still have my marketing plan to get famous and that's too good to a hollywood party maybe louis will invite me and i'll just like suck a punch charlie Theron. Fucking knock her

fucking teeth on her throat. Even though I don't know why I picked her. But, that was the wrong one. Okay, Lily Tomlin. Anybody.

Just get them in a headlock. You know, fucking push Roseanne Barr over a couch. Break her neck. And, I'll be all over every magazine.

Fucking Hollywood Reporter, Time, Newsweek, if those still exist. That's how I'm going to get famous. It's not going to be I putting up funny clips of me doing stand-up at the fucking Bananas West. Uncle Funny's Chucklehead and Bora Bora. Anyways.

Anyways. anyways what else has happened since i um talked to you kids last a lot of shit actually this is a sad story but it ties into what we talk about every week here which is you know politics race politics, race, society. You can't get away from race. This country is so hung up on race, and on one race in particular, it's embarrassing. Those two songs go together, unfortunately.

But this is sad, man. This guy, and he was from Queens originally. Will Smith, defensive end. He actually was an all-pro for the Saints. Went to Ohio State. Got in a road rage incident in New Orleans on Saturday night. And a guy shot him to death. And actually wounded his wife.

His wife got shot in the leg like three times. Played nine years for the Saints. And, um, was in the French Quarter at 11.30. And people always ask me, you ever been to New Orleans? And I go, no, I got no desire to go there. What, so I can enjoy the,

the, um, uh, the, uh, fucking crawfish jambalaya and then to get shot in the ass on the way home that's how i i don't know it's just i i have no desire they always show carnival and what's that whatever the big party is down there fucking looks sad he was at some festival down there some and uh he gets rear-ended in his SUV. And the guy that rear-ended him is Cardell Bear. That's his nickname, Hayes. 28 years old.

A former high school football player who played for the city's second-tier developmental team, whatever the fuck that is. But this guy, Will Smith, had just taken a picture of himself and put it on Instagram with the words, having a blast at the festival when he got rear-ended by Hayes. The two football players, both of them listed at 280 pounds when they played, exchanged heated words.

Next you know there's a fight, and Hayes pulls out a gun, fires multiple fatal shots, killing a father of three. His wife got hit twice in the leg and this Hayes was booked for second-degree murder. But, and here's a strange thing. This is, the guy who died.

Smith had been dining with a retired New Orleans police captain, Billy Cervolo, who had once been involved in a lawsuit filed by Hayes, the guy who did the shooting. Hayes won a $125,000 settlement from the city of New Orleans in 2011 over the fatal shooting of his father, Anthony Hayes, who was killed by the cops in 2005 during the Hurricane Katrina thing. I actually kind of remember that. Police claim they were justified in shooting Anthony Hayes, who brandished a knife a quarter mile from where Smith was gunned down late Saturday. Isn't that fucking weird? Cops said that despite their connection to Cerveallo smith and hayes did not know each other wow

but uh you know what you don't hear you know what you didn't hear you know what you didn't hear right after this shooting you didn't hear this black lives matter this. Why didn't you hear that? If I mean Black Lives Matter, which they do, obviously. Oh, that's right. This is a black guy killing another black guy. It wasn't a white guy doing the shooting. So the fucking lives, the lives, it doesn't matter. When it's two black guys involved, you know, it doesn't matter.

It's only when Whitey kills a black guy that the lives matter, according to the BLM, the organization based on a lie and founded on a lie, which would be the shooting of Michael Brown, who tried to grab the cop's gun in Ferguson you remember the whole thing that's how all this anyways too bad man uh you know Jesus Christ what the fuck NFL they must cringe every time you You ever read the scroll below?

When you're watching sports? It's like listening to a police radio. It's fucking... Really depressing. It's too bad. He just retired too, I guess. A few years ago, whatever. Seemed like a good dude from Queens.

And he's gone. He's gone. Nothing we can do about it. He's gone. That guy sounds like a piece of work that shot him, huh? Fucking believable. I gotta get... It's impossible to get a, you know, a conceal and carry

or whatever they call it in New York State. It's impossible to get a gun in the first play. I'm gonna have to make one out of soap. But speaking of Black Lives Matter,

Bill Clinton was in Philly doing dirty work for the thick-ankled dog face, I guess. Don't you love the irony of that? I'm a feminist. I'm going to be the first woman ever, but here's my husband to help me. Here's my husband to help me. I can't do it myself.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! So he was speaking in Philly, and Black Lives Matter, naturally, anytime a white fella with any juice is speaking, they show up because they're professional agitators and victims at the same time. They're multi-talented. They started to shout down. They're upset because Bill Clinton, when he was president, passed this anti-crime bill thing in 1994. And it included three strikes and you're out.

And, you know, because crime was out of control throughout the 80s. And this bill actually, it actually helped. It helped a lot. It's part of the reason that crime now is at a record low. But of course, that's not how black lives matter. They're like, hey, you're limiting our ability to commit crimes and get away with them. That's basically what they're saying. They're full of shit.

That's basically what they're saying. They're full of shit. And of course, like a true liberal, spineless white fella in a suit, Bill Clinton backpedal like a fucking strong safety for the Vikings and his wife they couldn't be more in love with the black race the clintons and i remember he was the first black president but that's not enough for these little pukes that black lives matter that's not enough for them because they don't even know the history the history they probably the people the kids that were shouting them down probably even know who the actually they have to know but they're so ignorant they don't even know their fucking history but uh his his bills actually having the balls to confront the people are trying to shut him down and defending his wife because she helped support she she used the term super predator hillary back when they passed this crime bill. And, of course, you know, that's very controversial language, even though they've done more for black people than, you know. But here's Bill shouting down, giving it right back to them, the protesters.

This is what's the matter. I don't know how you would characterize the gang leaders who've got 13-year- old kids hopped up on crack and sent them out onto the street to murder other african-american children maybe you thought they were good citizens she didn't she didn't you are defending the people who kill the lives you say uh exactly oh but it started a pipeline from you know straight to prison absolute

whoosh of course he had to backpedal because I'm sure he caught an airful from his fucking wife who said what are you doing I'm trying to get the it's the only thing I have it's the only reason I'm beating Bernie is that you can't be out there saying the truth to these people. Fucking disgusting. Disgracia. You know? So he had to backpedal. He goes, oh, no, I realize those kids were just trying to get on TV, and, you know, there

were some things in that bill that I, you know, that I sort of regret, and that's right, backpedal, stupid. Backpedal. What a crock of shit. Anybody know, do you know that i sort of regret and that's right backpedal stupid backpedal what a crock of shit anybody know do you know why we have the oh and you always hear bernie bring this up and any live we have more people in prison than any industrialized country yeah and we also have a crime at record lows record lows do you don't think there's a connection there? Connect the dots, you... Jesus fucking Christ, do I have to... Why is everyone so fucking stupid?

Because they're liberal. Why aren't more people interrogating? Wreck me. Because the media bumfucks them every day. There's two types of people in this country. There's people who know the truth, and there's people who choose to get the truth from television, which is tainted by you-know-who.

We need a little love, don't we? Yes, we need a little love in the world. Pat, fuck. This is not Barney Sanders. This is Three Dog Night. But the white is privileged, and that's not right. It's not fucking right. I spend the time apologizing for the last fucking 500 years. Hillary, you fucking dogface. Bernie Sanders, everybody. Together they grow to see the light, to see the light. Bernie Sanders, everybody.

A great friend of mine from the Brooklyn area. The plain to see, they'll have a dance. A plain to see, live and see. The world is black, the world is black. The world is white. There's something that just isn't fucking right. Don't get mugged tonight. Anyways, what the hell else?

All up in here. Don't forget that. Connectpal.com slash Nick to sign up and have this fun every day. Well, my asshole pal there, the guy who I was telling you was a bit of a racist,

Bomani Jones. Bomani, he caused a stir last week since i talked to you i guess um you know he he wore his uh caucasians t-shirt on espn radio's mike and mike show last week you know the you know the indian it's a takeoff on the indian cleveland indian shirt only instead of an indy instead of you know it says caucasians and it's a takeoff on the indian cleveland indian shirt only instead of an indy instead of you know it says caucasians and there's a little uh white face guy with a money sign over the top of his head and boy isn't that edgy i'm actually online reading and people are going i love bomani joe and honest god it's fucking white kids because he's so edgy therein lies

what's wrong with the fucking world right there and And let me explain this to you for the six. And not you people who have subscribed to my podcast. You know because you're hardcore fans. You understand this, obviously. You wouldn't be a fan. There's nothing edgy about a black guy doing something like that. Especially one who works for Disney. Who is the number one exporter of political correctness.

And the fucking cancer that is eating us alive. There's nothing edgy about that. You're not going to get in trouble. Ooh, they told him halfway through the interview that he should zip up his hoodie because we wanted to stick to it. This is what Disney is saying. Just picture a white guy wearing anything like that, anything with race on it at all. They'd be booted no questions asked suspended whatever um but like that's edgy and and by the way bomani bomani it's a beautiful name by the way it's african for meathead. That doesn't offend white people.

I would love a team called the Caucasians. And by the way, I'm half Italian, so I guess I'm not even 100%. We never got that straight either. I'm the hateful white European guy on Columbus Day, yet it doesn't hold for the rest of the... Patrice always used to point out, what are you, Dr. Nick?

You ain't even white, man. But my mother is Scottish and English.ish and english french canadian excuse me but um anyways uh we would love that and and you would love bomani you wouldn't mind a team that was uh called the what the african americans wouldn't that be how would that be even racist that would be good if there was a team called the african-american and pretty much apropos for any sport except for hockey um but that's uh oh that's so what what obamani is saying how do you white people like it how do you like it you say it's not offensive just doesn't get it just doesn't fucking get it, and never will, because him, like 95% of black

people, they really hate Whitey, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how you do, no matter, but Disney puts him on, along with Kevin Blackistone and Mike Wilbon, who they all can't stand Whitey, but they do a good job. They play the man's game because they got to get that paycheck from ESPN, the exporter of liberal horseshit. And by the way, I can't fly Delta anymore because I can't be forced to listen to fucking CNN at the terminal on every TV. I'm literally walking around trying to find a place where I couldn't hear the TV, and nobody's even listening to it.

I remember they were reporting a fucking a shooting i think the day i left minneapolis on some with some base around here i didn't get the full story but it was on lockdown uh an air force but i can't remember what it was but it was on lockdown i'm looking around right nobody no everybody has their head down looking at their ipads or their phone nobody even and you're gonna go well they were probably getting the story on their phone i fucking doubt it i saw about eight people playing solitaire on their phone um just crazy no nobody watching the tv but uh why do we have to why do you have to force that shit into my ears

is that the last thing i'm gonna last face i'm gonna fucking see is a wolf blitzer my plane goes down cnn spewing their fucking fake Boy, I'll tell you, Tony Horton put me through the ropes. But since Bomani Jones has wore that, maybe he's got a deal under the table. Of course, the sales have gone through the roof because we live in there. We have such an anti-white sentiment in the country right now. Since Jerkoff in chief has taken the office eight years ago. And you can't, it's palpable, the anti-white, uh, that's why I really hope Trump wins. Because he looks just like a giant Nazi. Excuse me. The Associated Press reports that the store which sells Caucasian t-shirtsshirt has been going nonstop since Jones wore it,

trying to fulfill orders. Brian Kirby, who runs Shelf Life Clothing Company, told the AP that more than 2,000 shirts have been sold since Jones boarded one on the Thursday while co-hosting Mike and Mike. At one point, Kirby said traffic to his website was so heavy that it crashed, and his internet host dropped him.

That happened when I had Artie Lang on when I was trying to do a web show years ago. What a night that was. Interestingly enough, the shirt has been available for 10 years, this shirt. It sells for $22, and Kirby normally sells 000 caucasian t-shirts a year i like to know the racial breakdown of uh who's buying those you know it's not native americans because there's only four of them left um i like to know the breakdown of the 7 000 racially who's buying them but disney said we told him he should you know halfway through the interview to zip it up so people couldn't see the logo that is just so hilarious who aren't you

fucking troopers like i like i said it was any white guy wearing anything anything it was if it was a picture of uh uh like an asian guy they'd fire you. But we live in a world of double standards when it comes to gender and race and that's how it is. Because you're a white privileged male and everything bad is your fault and don't fucking forget it.

No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! Not this fucking time! No fucking way! No fucking way!

No fucking way! No fucking way, mate! Whitey hater See it's all based in envy That's what makes it so gross You know It's all based in That's what makes it so fucking gross Never gonna have peace racially ever Cause one group doesn't want it

As soon as you realize that, you'll fucking get a lot less frustrated. Well, excuse me. See, we're proud of the heritage, and I'll say it, and with the Redskins, that's worn in pride, that emblem. That's a positive thing. They were fighting warriors. That's what that's meant.

You really think the day they said, we're going to call the team the Redskins, they went, how can we insult Native Americans? No, it's done. Same with the fighting Sioux, North Dakota. Now they're the fighting Hawks. That's going to be changed because people are going to say, well, you're offending birds.

Make it, you know, Fighting Kids in Wheelchairs. That'll be the emblem on their shirt. But see, that stuff, it's used in a positive way. Spirit, and you can keep pretending you don't know that. And it's funny how the Redskins logo and the Cleveland Indians logo, I don't know, nobody had a problem with it for the fucking hundred years that it was around until Generation Jerkoff showed up. Well, that's because we're evolving.

Yeah, that's what it is. That's what it is, shouting down people on college campuses and shit yeah you're evolving you're whiny little fucking bitches that's all i got to say that's it that's enough for today i got nothing fucking left or do i i was gonna do something about border patrol, but we know that. They're literally, eh, I'll get to it tomorrow, maybe, if I can fucking... Anyways.

Oh, I had a song for... that's very appropriate for Hillary. Bill's out on the campaign trail fucking it up, and somebody wrote a catchy tune a few years ago that's sort of it's sort of appropriate today with bill and hillary running the marching band came down long main street the soldier blues fell in behind i looked across and there i saw bill Billy Waiting to go and join the line And with the head upon his shoulder

His young and lovely fiancée That'll be Hillary at jail. From where I stood I saw she was crying Uh-oh. And through her tears I heard her say Billy, don't be a hero Don't be a fool with your life Billy, don't be a hero

Come back and make me your wife And as he started to go She said, Billy, keep your head low Billy, don't be a hero That's what he heard after the Black Lives Matter. Black Lives Matter! Black Lives Matter! Black lives matter. Black lives matter. Black lives matter. Black lives matter. Black lives matter.

Black lives matter. Black lives matter. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Amen to that. All right, kids, that is it. Go to connectpal.com slash Nick if you want more shows.

$3.99 a month. That's less than a buck a week. If you can't afford it, you're a mamalook. A what? Mamalook of the year. I guess that's it. Have I, have I, have I, have I, have I, there's some good stuff.

Come see me at Dr. Grin's. That would be in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I don't have my book in front of me. Go to nickdip.com. That's my next gig. It's like 21, 22, and 23 of April, I believe. Good club. I heard good things about it.

I heard good things. Been hearing good things. But that's it. But hey, Lee, tell these guys how I feel about them, motherfucker. I love you for helping me to construct my life. Not a tavern, but a temple. Watch out because I'm... I love you because you have done so much to make me happy.

You have done it without a word, without a touch, without a sign. You have done it by just being yourself. Perhaps, after all, that is what love means and that is why I love you okay I'll talk to you later okay

I said a sanitation sanitarian guitar solo guitar solo Bye.