The Nick DiPaolo Show - 136 - Memorial Day 2016

Episode Date: May 31, 2016

Memorial Day 2016

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. God bless America Land that I love Stand beside her And guide her Through the night With the light from above. From the mountains to the prairies to the ocean wide with foam. God bless America, my home sweet home. God bless America, my home sweet home.

Yes, how are you folks? What version of God Bless America was that? That's right. Anybody know out there? The end of Deer Hunter. The greatest war movie in my opinion. Happy Memorial Day to you. And again, like I said the other day, thank you to all the people

who have sacrificed their lives so guys like me can shoot off our big yaps. And it's amazing how little people know about Memorial Day. I'll get to that in a few seconds. But I wanted to thank the contributors. Jonathan Keller, he's a regular contributor. Thanks so much, Jonathan, again.

If you guys like the show, you hear it free on iTunes on Mondays. And you want to get more Nick DiPaolo podcasts, you go to connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. You can sign up for two to three more shows a week for $3.99 a month. It's less than a buck a week. All right?

And, yeah, Memorial Day. Just thinking about all the great, all the great, you the great war movies. I'm a deer hunter guy myself. De Niro in that, and it's just killer. Just killer. But also Platoon, obviously. Apocalypse Now.

Was it Duvall playing Colonel Kurtz? obviously apocalypse now um was it duval playing uh colonel kurtz oh i'm mixing that up with the uh the other the sequel with brando no but it was i'm really uh losing my fucking mind um anyways uh yeah a lot of weird news today some kid uh and some little kid fell in a gorilla cage at an ohio zoo we'll get to that in a few minutes towards the end of the show. This is mostly Memorial Day stuff I wanted to do. But, yeah. Platoon. Apocalypse Now. Right up there. But, Deer Hunter, for me, that scene with the Russian roulette,

you know what I'm talking about. Meow. Meow. hunter for me that scene with a russian roulette you know i'm talking about mao mao uh is there any better scene ever in the history of the movies than that but i dare you to watch the end of that of deer hunter i know some younger guys haven't seen deer i don't think it was made a while ago so uh you know i remember my friends when it came out, oh, it's too slow. There's too much wedding scene at the beginning. Yeah, but that's what builds the bond between how close these guys were. And it's necessary.

And just killer. Maybe I'll watch that tonight. What other, what other more? Oh, then you get full metal jacket how did I forget that and this guy my dad was a Marine. Huh? Sir, no, sir! You little piece of shit! You look like a fucking worm! I'll bet it was you! Sir, no, sir! Sir, I said it, sir! Well, no shit. What have we got here? A fucking comedian, private joker.

I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. You little scumbag! I got your name. I got your ass. You will not laugh. You will not cry. You will learn by the numbers.

I will teach you. Now get up. Get on your feet. You had best unfuck yourself. Let me ask you a question. If we were doing this scene today and the soldier that made the joke behind the drill serge, the drill sergeant back was a chick. Cause that's what the military is today. And he went over to her and called her a scumbag and a dirty,

uh, twat and fucking punched her in the gut. Uh, lawsuits abound. No. Yes. Yes. Just picture that.

They should do a remake of this or any, any military movie with broads and gay guys and and uh i don't know but listening to this it sounded like this sergeant was uh actually he's probably a colonel or whatever i don't know um sounds like he might have been invading this young man's safe space that would that would be the brought up in court. I will unscrew your head and check down your neck. Sir, yes, sir. Private Joker, why did you join my beloved corps? Sir, to kill, sir.

So you're a killer? Sir, yes, sir. Let me see your war face. Sir, you got a war face? Yeah, looks like Hillary Clinton's. That's a war face. Now let me see your war face. Bullshit, you didn't convince me. Let me see your real war

face. You don't scare me. Work on it. Sir, yes, sir. What's your excuse? Sir, excuse for what, sir? I'm asking the fucking questions here, private. Do you understand? Sir, yes, sir. Well, thank you very much. Can I be in charge for a while? Sir, yes, sir. Are you shook up? Are you Zinger! Me handling a heckler. Like the best part of you ran down to crack your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you've been cheated. Where in hell are you from anyway, Private? Sir, Texas, sir!

Holy dog shit, Texas only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy. This guy's a hack. You don't much look like a steer to me, so that kind of narrows it down. Do you suck dicks? Sir, no, sir! Are you a Peter Pepper? Sir, no, sir! Are you a Peter Puffer? Sir, no, sir! I'll bet you're the kind of guy

that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the... What the fuck did I just do? I think I accidentally muted myself. Can you imagine saying that today, though? I think you're a Peter Puffer. Do you suck dick? Oh, boy.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Could you even get away with it? Could you? Christ, no. Christ, no. That would just be hate speech, even from a military fella. What the fuck, huh? Imagine the movies now.

It'd just be dog shit. And then you had Tom Berringer in Platoon. Huh? As Barnes. Remember? They were planning on fucking whacking him a little bit. He caught them bad-mouthing him. Remember this?

This is the fucking juicy monologue. This is the type of acting I'd love to fucking do. What a monologue. This is Berringer. How good was he in this? Oh is the fucking juicy monologue. This is the type of acting I'd love to fucking do. What a monologue. This is Berenger. How good was he in this? Oh, my God. His barns. Talking about killing? Hmm?

Hmm? You all experts? Y'all know about killing? Well, I'd like to hear about it, potheads. He's talking to Bernie voters. Ha, ha, ha. You just want this shit voters so the escape from reality yeah i don't need this shit

he says he doesn't need this shit he's talking about weed they were smoking weed he meanwhile he's got a bottle of jack daniels a little confused on that one but uh if i uh was in war and i wanted guys uh you know i've wanted killing machines i'd rather have them drinking jack daniels than weed you get a better chance at winning no offense colorado i am reality. That's the way it ought to be. And there's the way it is. The last was full of shit. The last was a crusader.

Now, I got no fight with any man that does what he's told. And when he don't, the machine breaks down. And when the machine breaks down, we break down. And I ain't gonna allow that. Many of you.

Not one. Case closed, motherfuckers. Killing. Y'all talking about killing. It's like me talking to a bunch of young open micers. Killing. Y'all talking about killing. What y'all know about killing?

Y'all tell mediocre stories. Slightly amusing. Alternative. Alternative? Alternative to what? Alternative to comedy. That's what I say. I'll talk about killing. What do y'all know about killing?

Got to smoke weed to do your bits? Fuck. And of course Robert Duvall in Apocalypse Now with his little doohickey that's lived on in infamy you smell that?

you smell that? what? nothing else in the world smells like that. Come on, move, move, move, move! I love the smell of napalm in the morning. You know one time we had a hail bomb? For 12 hours, it was all over, I walked up. We didn't find one of them, not one stinking dink body.

The smell, you know that gasoline smell? The whole hill. Smells like... victory. Someday this war's going to end. someday this war is gonna end that shell went off like uh 10 feet behind him and he doesn't even look back just keeps talking oh classic i love that apparently i love the smell of napalm if it smells like gas because i love the smell of gas i spilled some in my car about a year ago,

filling up a couple of, we used to call them jerry jugs, five-gallon jugs, and some of it spilled in my car. I was fucking high for about four months. Every time I got in my car, I got the smell of victory. Every time I got in my goddamn car. I remember Joe List, my buddy comedian, got in the car. He's like, what the fuck happened here? And I rattled something off off the top of my head i was riffing about the gas smell and he was laughing his balls off and to this day that was over it might have been even

a year and a half ago he still busts my balls that i didn't write a bit about it i'm like i can't remember what i said i was riffing but don't you love that smell fuck i'd soak my shirts in it if other people didn't think I was weird. It's right up there with the magic markers. You know, we used to fucking huff after I got a nice D on a fucking math test. Excuse me. But can you imagine me and I making a movie today where you fucking belittle that type of shit? I love the smell of napalm and burning vietcong and oh boy

movie's kind of blow today what's the last one i can't remember i don't know but uh classic memorial day um fodder but you guys will probably be watching roots today because you haven't been reminded of how racist the united states is in the history of it and what in the last 30 seconds you haven't been reminded so let's remake that only do a blm version black lives matter where it's more hateful i heard they actually took out some of the white characters that were like sympathetic in the movie it's just fucking hilarious to me and that's on like three networks tonight what does it say that it goes on on Memorial Day? That trumps people dying to defend this country. Sorry, not my book.

Sorry. It's kind of racist. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But yeah, so that's on tonight. Don't forget to watch. I remember Roots watching it in the 70s as a kid, the original one, and being enthralled with it, because I didn't know anything about who

ran Hollywood, and what their fucking message was, and Alex Haley, the author of Roots, remember it came out that he plagiarized the whole thing, whatever. Originally, it was based on his roots or whatever. I don't know what the conclusion was. But they said it was a bunch of bullshit. I'm not saying that's true or not. I'm just saying I remember him, that coming out. Now, that could have been somebody who just had an agenda against Alex Haley or not. But I do remember that.

But I do remember watching it every night when I was young, and it was, you know, good TV, but why you got to do a remake? Why? Because it wasn't anti-white enough. That's why. Probably got Obama sitting in the director's chair for the sequel.

Cut! Not up! No, white people, no. No, they would never be that nice. But the fact that it's on, like like three different networks tonight on Memorial Day, that fucking rubs me the wrong way. Yeah. Apparently, uh... Apparently, our boy Snoop...

You know who I'm talking about. Snoop Dogg and his, uh... Apparently, he... A friend indeed. I'm feeling like CeeLo Green. Snoop Dogg and his apparently he he has some commentary on the on Roots the latest version he says he ain't gonna watch it for a whole different reason

than other people wouldn't watch it he put up something on Instagram I think it was today reason than other people wouldn't watch it. He put up something on Instagram. I think it was today. Speaking as to why he will not watch the latest version of Roots.

Again, my favorite rapper. I'm not a big hip-hop guy. You guys know that, obviously. But if I had to have one perform. But he is fucking dumb as the day is long. Can't help it. He grew up in the hood. He's very, very ignorant.

Not music-wise. He's a genius. Let's hear what he had to say about the latest version of Roots. Or as we like to call it, Roots. version of roots or as we like to call it ruts here it is Dogged out. Twelve years a slave. Roots. Underground. I can't watch none of that shit. I'm sick of this shit. How the fuck they gonna put Roots on on Memorial Day?

They gonna just keep beating that shit in our heads of how they did us, huh? That's the key thing. How they did us. In his mind, in his twisted fucking mind, he keeps saying they, by the way. Doesn't realize it's liberal, it's liberal Hollywood that makes this shit and defends his people with their every waking second. He's just saying they as in Whitey.

Because Whitey makes all the television that he don't like. But how they did us. So in Snoop's mind and a lot of other ignorant people's minds, including white liberal, well, in ignorant people's minds, including white liberal. Well, in Snoop's mind, we show things like we make movies like 12 Years a Slave and Roots and Underground and all that. We do this to rub it in their faces.

White people make these movies to remind them that we had you, that we bitch slapped you, that we dogged you as snoops. In his mind. That's why they make these things. Just to remind black people. To rub it in their faces.

Which is the exact opposite. And if anybody should be complaining. It's fucking Whitey. Who. Every waking second of every day. At least people. We haven't. We've been reminded of how racist this country is. And what kind of oppression and hell you went through, Snoop, your people.

And but in his mind, he thinks they make this shit to rub black people's faces in it. How fucking at least that's how I interpret what he's saying. What else has he got to say? I mean, I don't understand America. They just want to just keep showing the abuse that we took hundreds and hundreds of years ago. But guess what? We're taking the same abuse. Think about that part.

When y'all gonna make a motherfucking series about the success that black folks is having? We did it. The success we have is roots and 12 years of slave and shit like that, huh? No, we made something called Empire. And The Voice. And all pro sports.

All the highest rated television shows in the history of TV. Meaning sports. Yes, I say that tongue in cheek, but do you believe it? He really thinks we don't celebrate. But blacks are pop culture. Pop culture in this country is black culture. And that's not enough and snoop's eyes his half closed eye by the way if this isn't evidence we makes you fucking dumb

i don't know what is but fuck y'all i ain't watching that shit i advise you motherfuckers that's real niggas like myself fuck them television shows let's create our own shit based on the day how we live and how we inspire people today. Black is what's real. Fuck that old shit. Right, Jules? That's his dog he's talking to, by the way. How about the corner?

And every other fucking thing. Snoop, you're overrepresented on television and commercials and movies. You're overrepresented. And you're missing a point on why they make shit like this. Jewish guilt? I don't know. Just, it's hilarious, the race issue.

But he really thinks that they make shit like this to rub black people's faces in it. Have you ever heard of such utter fucking nonsense in your life? I mean, Snoop, get a fucking grip, man.

Oh, my aching stump. So he ain't watching it. Surprised he's not out at a Memorial Day parade celebrating all the white folk who died, including in the Civil War, who died on behalf of black people. How about that, Snoop?

Any opinions? But a lot of people don't know shit about Memorial Day, of all stripes. Listen to, but a lot of people don't know shit about Memorial Day of all stripes listen to uh here's a guy that was out interviewing I think it's InfoWars or whatever but uh you know he's out doing a man on the street thing and he's doing it in La Jolla California how do you know that because he's doing it right in front of a condo I used to stay at when I lived in Los Angeles and did the they had the comedy store they have one on sunset boulevard and they have one in la jolla and uh which is you know san diego right on the beach and paulie shaw's mother had a condo that's where they would put the comedians up down there and um we would stare at that condo on the beat it was great

sit on the porch just watching broads go by in their roller skates and it was just killer but this isn't there's a man on the street shit the guy does it right there i can see the condo in the background but again here's some again and there's stupid people on both coasts but there's a special kind of dumb dumbness on on the on the west coast there's an ignorance that's i don't know it's that it's not just that the lack a lack of i don't there's that party fucking surfer who cares man i got my weed and my it's just so late but it's a laid back kind of stupid as opposed to a new york brooklyn kind of stupid but again this is all people of all stripes because a lot of tourists go to this beach where he's, but he's asking people about Memorial Day.

And listen to some of the fucking answers. It just must enrage. You don't have to be, you know, to have lost somebody, a veteran or something. But just listen to the ignorance. It just makes you crazy. What is Memorial Day for? What is Memorial Day for? Just you. What's Memorial Day for? Um, what is Memorial Day for? No, no, just you. What's Memorial Day for?

Um, wow, I never really thought about it. Um, what is Memorial Day? Memorial Day. I don't know. What is Memorial Day for? I don't know, I don't know, What is Memorial Day for? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure.

I don't know. Are you going to be barbecuing and celebrating? Yeah, with my buddies. Oh, but you don't know what you're celebrating. Not really. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm happy I'm dumb. I don't even know.

Don't even know. No. I don't know what Memorial Day is, man. It's the big holiday. It's like the kickoff to summer when you barbecue and get drunk and stuff i don't think people from chicago celebrate that thing man they don't celebrate memorial did you just hear that from that little white kid i don't think people in chicago celebrate that man boy isn't this a testament to the fucking liberal education. We're too busy teaching the kids how to put on condoms

and that there's no difference between boys and girls and all that other horse shit. That's all they learn now and don't know squat and just... Nah, they're all ruthless, dude. It's just a Southern California celebration? Yeah, I think so. Definitely, man. You know what I'm talking about.

You know how stupid, and just anything you suggest, yeah, definitely, man. Yeah, man. He thinks that Southern California is the only ones that celebrate Memorial Day. They don't do it in Chicago where he's from. No matter what you suggest, yeah, I guess so. Yeah, sure. You're talking about that, right? No.

These aren't kids. We're adults. You don't know what Memorial Day is? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, sure. Talking about though, right? No. These aren't kids. We're folks. You don't know what Memorial Day is? No, I'm pretty drunk. The only way I know it's Memorial is because I don't have work, and that's all I care about, dude. Did you hear that? All I know is that I don't have to work, and that's all I care about. What a piece of fucking garbage.

So you don't care about anything else, just not working on Memorial Day? Exactly. Nothing else matters that the reason for the day of all the no you don't even know what it means i really don't care yeah i don't care i really don't care they get arrogant about their ignorance. Memorial Day weekend, the day when we kind of have a birthday for America and celebrate signing out the Declaration of Independence on Memorial Day weekend. Are you going to be doing anything special for that? Now he's misleading him.

I don't have anything planned right now. I might go down to Havasu, but it's not an upset plan. Are you going to sort of on Memorial Day weekend, though, are you going to sort of look back on the founding fathers and the signing of the Declaration of Independence? Or has that meaning been lost in all the barbecuing and partying? I would say it's been lost, especially to the youth. I mean, most of these youth are so brain dead, they don't even know what the point of Memorial Day is anymore. I totally agree with you. Yeah, it's all for the social scene it's memorial day weekend

the kickoff to summer it's sort of you look back at the the surfers who have created the surfing culture are you doing anything special for that um we're going to venice venice beach i don't know there's surfers there memorial day weekend the weekend when we look back on the fallen surfing legend it's one thing like if you grew up poor and the projects and you're just not educated but these are like well to do they're fucking all wearing like 200 sunglasses they're on skateboards and fucking scooters and you know they're well to do or well enough. They're not born of poverty and shit. That's one thing, to not have a good education.

But just to have the education, it either means they're just retarded or they just don't teach you shit anymore. I'm going with the latter. Or maybe a combination of both. A combination of both! Those who have drowned and died to make the sport popular, are you doing anything special to

commemorate the loss of the surfing legends? Not me personally, but I have family who live in Hawaii who knew some of those legends. Eddie Aikau, I believe there was another

legendary surfer that died at Mavericks that my brother-in-law knows. They have a memorial there. Are you going to be saying a prayer for them on Memorial Day? Grown woman. Grown fucking woman, like in her 40s. Popularization of the sport. I think that's a great idea.

You're a great idea. Go home and cut your wrist, you fucking douche. Nick, easy. You're right. idea. Go home and cut your wrist, you fucking douche. Nick, easy. You're right. Do you have any surfing legends and those who have popularized the surfing sport for Memorial Day? No, not really, man. You're not a big surfer? Not really.

I just usually kick it, you know? You kick it, huh? What is the point of Memorial Day, though? I don't really know, man. I mean, I really don't care. Like, I mean, you really don't. For me, it's just another bogus holiday. Just another bogus holiday.

Yeah. What's the purpose of Memorial Day? Memorial? Celebrate Memorial, the people that died in the war, right? It's the Memorial Day when we kind of commemorate the fallen surfers who have drowned to popularize the sport of surfing. Okay. Are you going to be doing anything? Okay, whatever you say.

I'm going to reflect on how they paved the path for the surfing. I wonder how these guys voted, huh? Just out exploring. Just having a barbecue and just drinking some beer. Yeah. But you're not going to commemorate the surfing, fallen surfing legends? I would, but I'm going to be heading home in about two hours from now. Memorial Day, we kind of commemorate the fallen surfing legends.

Oh, okay. Yeah. What are you doing this Memorial Day to kind of reflect back on the surfing culture for the surf culture for Memorial Day. Just, like, you know, praise their name, you know, like say what they did was a good cause and stuff. And they popularized surfing. And they popularized, yep. They've died for the cause so that we can come out here and surf. You notice the ignorance is rooted in political correctness. Even when they're being ignorant, it's in a politically correct way.

It's just fucking... Yeah, and it's a beautiful day to come out here to surf, too. It's got really good weather today. Perfect waves for Memorial Surfing Day. I was right down off of the strand over there, and there was a bunch of surfers that just got

out of the water right now, and they said it was really nice today. Memorial Day weekend, we kind of look back on the fallen surfers and those who have popularized surfing are you going to be doing anything uh memorial day weekend to kind of you know show support for those surfers well as of now not anything planned but i'm pretty sure if we see anything going on we might join in it's a memorial if they see anything going on they might join in oof i can't even fucking listen to them oh my goodness gracious no they're ignorant that's ignorant you think i mean you don't have to be like a history buff and shit, but really.

Fucking come on. Yay for the education system in the United States. Big round of applause. Although I'd like to know how much smarter the kids in fucking Germany are and France and whatever the fuck else. Speaking of that, before I forget, I got to tell you about this movie I watched on Netflix last night.

Some of you might have already seen it, although it hasn't been out. I think it came out in October of 2015, I want to say. That's when it was released, at least. Look Who's Back. It's a German film. It's got subtitles made by Germans.

It's a movie where they they have hitler come back to life only it's modern day it's like 2014 the movie opens with like him like laying in some bushes right near a sign a modern day sign of where his bunker was and he's got his full garb on his hitler gar his uniform and shit and he comes so he comes back to life and it is it starts off slow 15 20 minutes you're like okay where's the and all is it gonna get fun and it does it's fucking classic creepy he's in his uniform and he stays in character as Hitler the whole time. And the movie that there's written scenes, you know, there's,

there's, there's scripted scenes interspersed with like man on the street shit where he's actually walking through, you know, crowded outside malls. And you see the visceral reaction, some people giving him the high heel and other people giving him the finger and,

and, and him like into, you know, him actually interact acting with the people the people with people today's people it is fucking crazy and then like i said but he stays in character as hitler and there's like i said scripted scenes and he becomes like a a a reality slash uh comedian a national sensation in Germany on like, you know, reality TV. Now, here's what makes this unbelievable. This was done before Trump even announced he was going to run for president.

OK, so you can't. But if you watch it, if you people if I'm somebody, if I'm a liberal who, you know, equates Trump with Hitler. You would bring this movie up to make your point. You have to watch it. You could drop Trump into his name, into where Hitler is in this movie, and it would all like parallel what's going on today. And I'm not saying Trump is Hitler.

I think that's fucking silly, but I'm just saying the political correctness and they even get into the word nigger. Hitler's talking to somebody about the word nigger and nigger. And only in German. It's fucking some of it is really hilarious. Him going to a dry cleaners, you know, to get his suit, which he's been dead for 60 something years, 70 years or whatever. It's crazy.

And then how some people, you know know on social media hate him and other people are defending him and hitler's explaining about nationalism and to have feelings um you know you take away the six million jews that he killed and it's his platform is a lot like i don't know it's like trump i don't want to say he's like, it's, you know, nationalism. It's he's a populist, whatever you want to call him. And he's just riling up people who have had enough. And, you know, you decide. But but but I'm watching it and I'm looking at my wife and holy shit.

Is this kind of creepy? I go, did this come out after Trump or, you know, but it wasn't. It was made before. And again, I'm not equating. Oh, I guess I am a little bit. But it's just the swell of why people had enough in Germany. But, you know, Hitler's defending his point of view. And he stays in character as Hitler the whole time.

And it's, again, the first 15, 20 minutes, I'm like, yeah, okay, where's the funny? And then it starts to get really fucking funny. Of course, there's a B plot. The guy that discovers him, you know, works for some production company, some TV company. And, of course, he's about to get fired. And he brings this, you know, Hitler to his old boss. And there's behind the scenes fighting over how they're going to make him famous.

And people are getting fired and shit. But it's really, that's the b plot but you got to watch it and draw the parallels between what's going on in the election today and uh it's you'd be like you would have thought this was made post uh you know you would have thought this movie was made after trump had been running or whatever and it's got nothing to do with it. I'm just saying the parallels. You're going to freak out. It's called Look Who's Back.

And some of it's fucking really funny, but it's kind of creepy. So, by the way, again, it's Monday, so I have to mention connectpal.com slash Nick for if you want to subscribe to the podcast, connectpal.com slash Nick for two to three more shows a week. And yeah, so it was on Netflix. Look, look who's back. And it's it's subtitles. So don't get freaked out. It's worth reading.

It's worth watching. When I watch a movie with subtitles, I'm like, it's a pain in the ass for the first few minutes. Then you forget you're doing subtitles. And not that I've seen a shitload of those, but enough. What the hell else did I want to talk about? Yeah, so get that. Go get that go go get that uh on netflix um oh how about as i was uh sitting down to do this show somebody had thrown a package over the fence on the south lawn i think it was

of the uh the white house let's uh hope it was addressed to the president that it has some balls in it. Can replace his vagina. Yeah, that says I was coming on the air here, so I don't know what happened to that. Everybody's told to stay inside. Some woman threw it over. I'm surprised she got it over the fence.

I mean, she probably throws like a chick, unless she was a, you know, a lesbian. In case she probably has, like, kershaw but i'm just saying nick why do you get to throw that in there i don't know i i'm curious when i get done with the show just what the fuck happened there but we panic over everything now don't we somebody sees a book bag and uh you know but again it's uh left on a seat and a bus stop for more than 10 seconds. And all of a sudden you've got the robotic trucks coming in and shit.

They really have, when you think about it, the terrorists really have won in that regard. What were the lines? I guess JFK had some glitch in their computer. And people, I am not, luckily I don't have to get on a plane for a while, I don't think, this summer. And I planned it that way. By the way, that reminds me, this Saturday night, Windsor Locks, Connecticut, I'll be at Bobby V's. That's Bobby Valentine's joint, by the way. Brad Axelrod, who runs, you know, he runs, you know, whatever. he does uh he sets up shows and uh bobby v's saturday night what else where else might as well give up my dates you can go to nickdip.com if you don't uh

if you don't have them but that's uh this Saturday night, the 4th. And then the following weekend, June 10th and 11th, I'm at the comedy scene in Foxborough, Mass. Did that one in January. I liked it. Or November, I should say. It was fucking great. And then New Milford Kinetic Fast Eddies. That's in New Milford on the 18th, which is Saturday.

And then the Stress Factory. That's a club that we've been doing for years great club uh june 24th and 25th in new brunswick new jersey and uh hell yeah yeah gotta start loading up my dates for the middle of the summer whatnot um what else did i want to talk to you about um oh what else did I want to talk to you about um oh uh this happened yesterday

I mentioned it at the top of the show everybody's up in arms about the killing of the gorilla to save a boy at Ohio Zoo and it sparks an outrage online. But here's the thing. I'm looking at the clips.

The little kid looks like a black kid to me. I still don't know, but it's a white couple. So, yes, there is a racial angle to this, believe it or not. We'll get to that in a second, which is so silly. The killing of a gorilla at a Cincinnati zoo. This was yesterday. After a four-year-old boy tumbled into the ape's enclosure, triggered outrage and questions about safety.

But the zoo officials say the decision to use lethal force was a tough but necessary choice. Now, I've watched the clip in super slow motion. There, right there, the gorilla grabs the... Yeah, the little kid falls in, and I'll get to the parents in a second. I'd fucking tranquilize you two, throw you in that cage.

But I'm a little pissed, and I'm not an... Look, I'm not a fucking, you know me, I'm not a bleeding heart when it comes to animals and all that shit, but I'm a little pissed. And I'm not an ant. Look, I'm not a fucking, you know me. I'm not a bleeding heart when it comes to animals and all that shit, but I, yeah, you evolve on killing stuff. I used to shoot birds and shit. I had a pellet gun and daisy air rifle, and I used to shoot pheasants and shit and birds and whatnot.

You know. But as you get older, in your 50s, I'll actually grab a spider and take it outside and then kill it no but uh but you do change a little bit but uh so this gorilla this little kid falls in a cage four years old how the fuck that happens is beyond me by the way and um and from looking at the video it really does look like the gorilla is you know just protecting the kid i guess it happened a few years ago at another another it might have been the same i don't know it was another zoo where a kid fell in and a female gorilla protected it from the other

animals but this uh so this so so they ended up shooting this beautiful gorilla 17 year old gorilla and if you're watching the video clip he drags a kid like through the water real quickly it's gotta be i mean but they got the mother you know of course all the cell phones come out you can hear the mother going i'm right here to the son son. I love you, bye-bye-bye. I mean, just my, I don't know, she sounded too calm to me. Seems like she should have been in hysterics. But 2,000 people have signed a petition on change.org that sharply criticizes Cincinnati Police Department, change.org, I can't get out of that link.

But it's so easy to criticize, isn't it? Like to sit back in your armchair and second guess monday morning quarterbacking but they can you know and again i didn't you don't know here the police did they criticize in the police department uh for putting down the animal and of course these people at change.org are calling for the child's parents to be held accountable for their actions, not supervising. Which, you know what? I agree with that to some extent.

But I don't put the fucking, you know, I don't poke the fingers at the police department, whoever, you know, they're doing what they thought. But the parents, really? What the fuck? How does your kid, and I've been in supermarkets, I've been in stores, where I've seen, like, you know, people shopping with their kids, and their kids, like, break away, and I'm staring at the kid going, if I was a sicko or a psycho and want to kidnap somebody, I could do it right now, there is no excuse, and you're gonna go, that's easy for you to say, but, you know, it only takes one split second, I don't give a shit. That second should never happen. So the parents,

the police say that parents have not been charged, but charges could eventually be sought. But, but a Facebook page titled, of course, all the do-gooders and all the justice for Harambe. That's the gorilla's name, Harambe. Had more than 3,000 likes by Sunday afternoon. A day after the 400-pound gorilla was shot dead about 10 minutes after encountering and dragging the child. It's a western lowland gorilla and endangered species and they were going to use this uh gorilla for breeding go ahead make your racist jokes if we think it's acceptable to kill a gorilla who has done nothing

wrong i don't think our city should have gorillas mavinda singh posted Facebook. Why do we have to hear from everybody? A blog post on the website for, you know, PETA, People for Ethical Treatment of Animals, questioned why it was necessary to kill the gorilla and whether zoos could meet the needs of such animals. And what they said was, the zoo said was, you know, the reason they didn't tranquilize it because it was already in an agitated state the gorilla and the tranquilizer that would mean it would have taken a long time for the tranquilizers to work and he could in that time he could have

really hurt the child or whatever which is true okay i know you like to watch disney where the animals are all hugging but it's still a gorilla. But I understand. I would have went tranquilizer. Isn't there a drug that they can shoot into them that'll knock them unconscious? Like quickly? Apparently not. The kid crawled through a barrier and fell 12 feet into a moat. First time in the 38-year history

of the Cincinnati Zoo. The gorilla exhibit that an unauthorized person was able to get into the enclosure. Yeah, I would hope so. This is the fifth time in two months, and we don't understand. It was the zoo's dangerous animal

response team that fired the shot that killed the ape. Of course, the people are blaming the cops, naturally, again. And the guy said they used tranquilizers to subdue the gorilla because it would have taken time for the other drugs to work on an agitated gorilla. to work on an agitated gorilla. Anyways, that was, it's such a beautiful animal. It really is friggin' sad to see that.

But the fuckin' parents, I don't give a shit. What the fuck? I don't trust any, I'm so cynical. You know, when you live in New York City, you read in the papers every day, people putting,

literally putting babies in trash cans and on the steps of somebody's apartment, out in the cold. Somebody left a kid at like a bus stop. You read about this shit over and over again. And then you got that guy that allegedly, I think he was convicted. Remember, he left his little kid in a hot car down in Georgia somewhere on like a hundred degree day. And they, I think they charged him because he, he had, he had made comments about not wanting to have kids and shit. I mean,

I just, people are saying, I'm not saying this is the case here. I'm not saying it, but I'm just saying how the fuck do you let, and that's just not one second for a kid to fall down a moat. Unbelievable. At other U.S. zoos, similar encounters have ended in tragedy.

I don't even remember a hint about this one. 2013, a fatal mauling of a two-year-old boy by a pack of wild african dogs after he fell into an exhibit at the pittsburgh zoo do you guys remember that one i don't remember hearing about that and then in 2012 uh right here in new york the bronx zoo guy jumped in suffered bite wounds but he survived and there was a happy ending when a three-year-old boy fell into the gorilla den at Brookvale Zoo. Brookvale Zoo in Chicago in 96. An eight-year-old female gorilla

named Binti Jua picked up the unconscious boy. I remember that one. Protected him from the other primates. Naturally. Naturally, that act of kindness won Binti national attention as Newsweek's Hero of the Year and one of the people's most interesting people. Naturally, that act of kindness won Binti national attention as Newsweek's Hero of the Year

and one of the people's most interesting people. Naturally, because it was a female. You've got to be fucking kidding me. Oh, mama. But here's the intriguing part folks okay and again my wife's telling me i'm wrong right before i went on air here saying it looked like a little black baby and that's what she was maybe it was maybe they adopt it doesn't matter but apparently it wasn't because there's a lot of racist tweets by black people just just crazy i mean i know the internet is you know but uh

r.i.p to the gorilla this is from retro booming r.i.p to the gorilla who was just trying to this is from a black kid be a gorilla but while people while but while people captured him and then other white people wanted to touch him now he did now he did uh here's another these are on twitter uh another person says killing an endangered gorilla at a zoo for a white boy safety is white privilege if the boy was black then would have found tranquilizer can i make this shit up and this is a memorial day folks the gorilla was taken from its homeland put in captivity and then killed to preserve white life that That sounds familiar? That's from Issa Ibn. That's a, so he's making,

he's obviously referring to slavery and drawing a parallel between shooting a gorilla that might have killed a baby, a white baby, and these are some brilliant motherfuckers, ain't they? Oh, yeah. I said last night

the gorilla was protecting the child. Them crackers just killed him because he was black and i'm telling you they're not trying to be funny here oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh we need a little music while i'm reading these fucking a friend indeed i said last night the gorilla protecting child i'm cracking and kill him. I already read that one. If that black kid didn't have his white privilege, then endangered Gorilla would still be alive. Oh, God.

But then it says here in this tweet, where my wife might be right, Wait a minute, so you guys spent all day talking about white parenting practices and the gorilla boy is black. Oh boy. He does that. Like I said, the clip says he looks black. If the zoo handlers hesitated and that beast mauled the child, folks on here would scream racism to the highest order. Of course it was a white kid that somehow got into a gorilla exhibit. Laugh my ass off. Y'all really don't care about your kids.

We can't even think this. Okay, so people can't even agree on what the fucking race of the kid is. Again. From the clip, it looks like a black kid. Oh, my God. Have you ever? Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you fucking kidding me, folks?

The fact that it's even turned into a racial thing. And sorry that wasn't done by Whitey. Sorry. Oh, God, help us. Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape. Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape. That's all the kid had to say, and he would have been fine. But no, he had to taunt the motherfucker because he a little curious white cracker motherfucker.

Can't wait to hear Paul Mone's take on this one. He used to do a bit about, you know, white people getting eaten by sharks because they can't mind their own fucking business and shit, which is a little truth to that, actually. Anyways, that is it, kids. That's enough for today. Happy Memorial Day.

And again, thank you to all you people in the military now, but especially the people who made the ultimate sacrifice so we could enjoy our hot dogs and hamburgers. Maybe you learned what it was about. It's not about surfers in La Jolla. So, oh, I do. I got a clip from Patton. In 1945, he was speaking when he came back after, you know,

helping win World War II. Gave a speech. It was kind of cool. It's a quick clip. Him in Los Angeles, I do believe. This is General Patton. The trail of the 3rd Army and the 19th Tactical Air Command and the 8th Air Force is marked

by more than 40,000 white crosses. 40,000 dead Americans. And don't forget it, folks, as you enjoy your day. That is it. I will talk to you manana. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. Amazing grace How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me I once was lost But now I'm found Was blind But now I see Good day, everybody. Like I said, the new site will be up in a week or two. A whole different look and new pictures

and working on getting merchandise and stuff since the podcast has been such a success thanks to you guys. And, you know. That is it, I guess. What a field day for the heat.

Thousand Italians in the street eating pits the oil um that is it i will talk to you guys next week let's hope the planet is still intact and uh liberace tell the motherfuckers how I feel. I love you for helping me to construct my life. Not a tavern, but a temple. I love you because you have done so much to make me happy. You have done it without a word, without a touch, without a sign.

You have done it by just being yourself. Perhaps, after all, that is what love means. And that is why I love you. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out. you