The Nick DiPaolo Show - 146 - Pro-Hillary Rigged Media

Episode Date: August 9, 2016

Pro-Hillary Rigged Media

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the road for the love of Pete? Hey, hey, hey, Nick DiPaolo, how are you? It's the iTunes podcast on a Monday. Ah, in full disclosure, I'm doing it a little earlier than Monday. In full disclosure, I'm doing it a little earlier than Monday. So, because of my schedule, I will be getting back from Vermont today, as you listen. Hope it went well up there. I heard I was terrific.

I heard I really ripped the tits off the crowd up there in Vermont. So much so, Bernie Sanders stopped by to do a few minutes. Yes, he did. The old bitter Jew. What? You can't sip-dup-dup-dup. Any minutes. Yes, he did. The old bitter Jew. What? You can't sip-dup-dup-dup? Anyhow, hey, thank you, Nicholas Osman, for the very fat and delicious contribution. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Again, folks, you can contribute on top of your subscriptions if you'd like. And if you don't, no problem either. I appreciate you subscribing and contributing. Contributing keeps the show on the air. You're like, what air is that? It's a podcast. Well, the air in my fucking basement.

What do you want from me? Yeah, motherfucker. Let me tell you something. Anyhow and anywho, what are we going to talk about today? All kinds of shit. I'll get to it in a few minutes. You know, obviously the politics.

Again, I didn't plan on this being a political podcast, but have you ever been more interested in politics than now? And if you're not, I really question your sanity. But we'll get to fucking Hillary and how the media is surrounding the wagons for her. That fat, incompetent fuck. Apparently a hero. And yeah, I'd say it's a rigged game but uh the media is just making me sick they are worse than any politician any fucking drug dealer

any i have more respect for people who uh you know go into a liquor store and hold it up with a gun than the media just fucking horrendous. And I'm talking about mainstream media, you know, the CNNs of the world. They're at the top of my list. MSNBC, we know who they are, but NBC, CBS, ABC. You put on the radio in New York, you want to throw up blood if you're even a little bit conservative. It's hilarious what they're doing to Trump. And if you can't admit that after this election, go fuck yourself. Get the fuck out of here. I mean, it is just, and I'll prove it on

the show today when I get to that in a few minutes. But I wanted to talk about some other shit, but we get all kinds of stuff. We get people saying all kinds of actually cursing on the air about trump and benefiting their careers from doing so um talk about millennials how they don't fuck that's no surprise to me i always knew that was going to happen uh yeah there's a whole article and uh uh we'll talk about mr kazir khan who turns out to be a khan. Yes, his son is a hero, no doubt about it. But this guy isn't who we thought he was. As the late, great Dennis Green said about the Chicago Bears. Well, he said, they were who we thought they were.

Well, this guy is who I thought he was. Just a shill for the DNC. And yeah, people are looking into his past after the dnc made him a hero now people are vetting him in the media they didn't do that beforehand did you guys do anything that's not on the up and up you fucking leftist fucks honest to god sickening sickening um but let's get to some good news for me because uh you know how i talk about i always talk about my insomnia problems on the show and uh they're working on a pill for us insomniacs hopefully it can be developed after the scientists discover the brain switch which triggers apparently you have a switch in your brain that just, obviously,

at some point it knocks you out, right? And they're working on that. That's to figure out exactly where that switch is and how to trigger it. Wow, a little loud with that music, fella. Yeah, it's dubbed the Sandman Switch. It's triggered by falling levels of the chemical dopamine, which is known to keep people awake. That's when you, dopamine's what triggers when you do drugs, and it's a pleasure thing, you know.

But scientists at Oxford University are working on this. Sleep is governed by two systems. The circadian clock, which monitors the time of day. And the second one, a mechanism called the sleep homeostat which can trigger sleepiness even when it's not dark you don't want that one going off when you're behind the wheel yeah we get the point the circadian clock allows us to anticipate predictable changes in our environment that are caused by the earth's rotation did you know that i knew that because i've talked to radio guys you know you're a lot of morning radio as a comedian and i go i remember asking howard stern i go do

you ever get used to getting up and he goes you don't never he goes never i've been doing this forever he goes and and uh and studies prove that you fucking it's the moon and the sun and and your body you know works on that clock. It doesn't matter. You could do it for 40 years, work on the graveyard shift. That's not going to change, you know? But they're working on the mystery of why we need to sleep in the first place. Yeah, that would be a...

Well, I know why. I jerk off and have a glass of wine. I mean, it's not that complicated. What? The explanation of why we sleep will likely come from understanding the second controller called the sleep homeostat the homeostat measures something and we don't know what that something is the article says that happens in our brains while we are awake and when that something hits a certain ceiling we go to sleep the system

is a reset during sleep and the cycle begins anew when we wake up but here's a here's a part that surprised the uh the shit out of me the team studied uh the sleep homeostat in the brain of fruit flies really our brains that explains a lot of Trump's remarks and Hillary's. And Obama's eight years, actually. Yeah, they studied the brains of fruit flies, which are thought to have the same sleep control neurons as humans. How do you find that out? How the fuck? Who came up with that?

You know, I was dating a fruit fly for a couple months and she kept passing out as soon as the sun went down. How the fuck? how do you even see if a fruit fly is sleeping you know i mean what do you how do you what the it's on a you know it lands on a fucking banana at a cookout and you're like is that thing napping how do you i don't um isn't that fucking weird the same as fruit flies it really does explain our species and what's going on in the world if the the sleep neurons are electrically active, the fly is asleep. And when they are silent, the fly is awake. Research has found that sleep control neurons are either on or off based on the activity of the Sandman switch,

a physical gate which allows a blocked electrical signal to the cells. When dopamine production stops, the switch is flicked and sleep is triggered interesting so they got to figure out how that switch what they think they can make better drugs now because the shit that knocks you out now really does fuck up your head doesn't it maybe it doesn't you but you hear all these two i took ambien and i do a you know well i have a whole bit about it let's let's let's play a little bit uh about my insomnia i have insomnia i want the it's official i was a diagnosed with anybody have insomnia it's a fucking i average do you miss it's fucking

horrendous is it not every time i tell people that they ask me the same question have you tried warm milk what the fuck am i a two-day-old kid you know I haven't tried to warm it up yeah I saw a lady breastfeeding at the mall today I said I noticed you have one open next thing you know I'm out like a light for two and a half hours in front of the young guy on the bench by the way this bit will be on my hour whenever it comes out, whether it's a CD or a special. It's not fucking believable what you have to do. Anyways, back to the I played this on the show before this.

Some of this fuck likes a taste of warm milk. You'd rather be up for a month straight than drink warm milk. You know who likes a taste of warm milk? Like a brand new babies and a few gay guys, right? Holy shit, I'm going to get in trouble for that one. Brand new babies love warm milk. You know why? Because they've never had anything else.

You can feed a fucking brand new baby a pound of its own shit and it'll keep eating. Is this garbage? Holy shit, this is tremendous. More shit, please. holy this is tremendous why have you tried chamomile tea all the cures for insomnia very effeminate i noticed my buddy's like have you tried lavender why don't you just suck my dick i'll pass out in three minutes have you tried rubbing warm yogurt on your taint while you're doing a crossword puzzle Oh, for Christ's sake, Nick. What kind of talk is that?

Funny talk. As a matter of fact, I have, and I'm still tossing and turning at night. That's why I don't think a bottle of Yoo-Hoo at room temperature is going to do the trick, Dr. Feige. Thank you. Try chamomile tea? Oh, I'm getting drowsy. Somebody get me MyPillow. I've got to write a bit

on that guy, MyPillow. It scares me. I'm awake all fucking night. I watch him commercials from last year from 2 to 7 a.m. I know more about Cindy Crawford's

oily fucking skin than her dermatologist does. It's 3 in the morning. I'm ordering porcelain dolls. I'll take the little Chinese one with a polka dot test and get one for myself.

Ordering power love ballads of the 70s. I have 800 hours of air supply on my iPod. I'm trying to get a nut off of the 70s. I have 800 hours of air supply on my iPod. Trying to get a nut off to Elizabeth Hasselbeck on Fox and Friends. His son's coming up. I'm like, I don't know.

Honey, shut the curtains. I can't see my TV. Dick's not even awake yet. It's like, fuck, it's like a pastry bag. It's like a pastry bag. It's like three quarters hard. Look at those muffins. I'll fucking fix it. Fucking exhausted. And then I fucking got Ambien for my doctor. If you haven't had Ambien

it's a medication combined with devil semen and Clorox and Vaseline it is the most toxic fucking horseshit I've ever put on my body it wiped my memory off

for fucking two days 48 hours I was like a fucking nine year old retard I come down in my robe I look like Nicholson from Cuckoo's Nest after he had the lobotomy I come down in my robe, I look like Nicholson from The Cook Who's Next after he had the lobotomy.

I come downstairs like this. My wife goes, you want coffee? I'm like, who the fuck are you? Why are you in my house? Get the fuck out of here. My neighbor calls me a couple hours later, you know you tried to finger pop my wife on the front line last night? Did I really? Medication. I got to adjust it. Yeah. A little bit on insomnia.

There's actually more to that bit. I won't play the rest of it for you. But one of my favorite bits, and hopefully it'll get out to the public someday. I don't know what I got to do. I really don't fucking know. Probably stop calling Hillary a cunt, but that's not gonna happen that's not gonna happen but anyway scientists are thinking of they're trying to make a drug to flick that switch and that would be a creation of a

whole new generation of super efficient sleeping pills that don't make you feel like a fucking you know like a you know down syndrome victim hey that's insensitive but um my wife has one of those white noise machines and it knocks her right the fuck out you know i uh i listened to something else that the white noise machine if you don't know it's like almost they have them in hotels you can you press a button it sounds like waves on a beach shit like that but everybody's different you know if you're a calm laid-back person that might knock you out but what if you're you know triple-a personality like me and it's psychotic and always tense and uh i have my own uh my my wife uses the white noise machine and this is what i listen to and it puts me to sleep

this is relaxes me tell you what I think about it. I think that it's very, very bad for that man to make an accusation like that. That is terrible. This is Tommy Lasorda, by the way. I have never, ever, since I've managed, ever told a pitcher to throw at anybody, nor will I ever and if I ever did I certainly wouldn't make him throw at a fucking 130 hitter like Lafay

or fucking Babacqua who could hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat and I guarantee you this when I pitched and I was going to pitch against a fucking team that had guys on it like Babacqua I sent a fucking limousine guys on it like Bobaqua, I sent a fucking limousine to get the cocksucker to make sure he was in the motherfucking lineup

because I kicked that cocksucker's ass any fucking day of the week. He's a fucking motherfucking big mouth, I'll tell you that. That's the shit. And then the organ comes in and I'm out like a light. Different things for different people. That's what relaxes me. That earl weaver you know that's considered relaxing with my type of shitty personality anyhow anywhere and a ho ho ho let's get to kazir khan or i call him kazir khan who and i'll say it again and you don't even have to state this uh his son's definitely a american war hero but uh we didn't know anything about this guy when the dnc marched him out there like

a puppet you might as well have jim jim henson the late great henson with his hand up this guy's ass as they did with cindy sheehan remember when she fucking blamed george w bush for her son's death remember that and they used her up like a condom and threw her by the side of the road a week later nobody even know who the fuck she was um but this paul sperry guy he used to write for the uh hoover institute and uh he did some digging on kazir khan because cnn or any of the so-called journalists out there they would never look into this guy's background right whether before Whether before or after he appeared at the DNC. Or maybe they knew and just kept their dirty fucking rigged mouth shut.

He also, Mr. Sperry also has a book, How Muslim Spies and Subversives Have Penetrated Washington. Ooh, including the White House, the Oval Office. I wonder if he wrote that article. But it really is. officer. I wonder if he wrote that article. But it really is. Kazir M. Khan has published papers supporting the supremacy of Islamic

law over man-made Western law. Including the very constitution he championed in his Democratic National Convention speech. In 83, Khan wrote a glowing including the very constitution he championed in his Democratic National Convention speech. Yeah. In 83, Khan wrote a glowing review of a book compiled from a seminar held in Kuwait

called Human Rights in Islam, in which he singles out for praise the keynote address of fellow Pakistani Alaa K. Brohi, a pro-jihad Islamic jurist who was once one of the closest advisors to the late Pakistani dictator, General Zia al-Khakh, the father of the Taliban movement. So he's defending the Taliban and what they believe in. Khan speaks admiringly of Brohi's interpretation of human rights, even though it included the right to kill and mutilate those who violate Islamic laws, and even the right of men to beat wives who act unseemly, in quotations.

Un-fucking-believable. Okay, so Khan was defending this Sharia thinking. As Pakistani minister of law and religious affairs, Brohi helped create hundreds of jihadi incubators called madrasas. That's where they teach kids to hate Jews and shit. And resorted to Sharia punishments such as amputations for theft

and demands that rape victims produce four male witnesses or face adultery charges. There you go, huh? That fits in well. You can see why they want to move to the United States, right? Because their values exactly fit like a glove. I'm saying sarcastic.

He also made insulting the Muslim prophet Muhammad a crime punishable by death. So Mr. Khan defended these types of writings. Yeah, Mr. Khan nonetheless spoke admiringly of brohi in his uh review of his speech western society is built on individualism and secularism concepts enshrined in the constitution but bro he scoffs at them arguing the individual has to be sacrificed collectivity has a special sanctity attached to it in islam So what are you doing over here? Hmm. This, and okay, again,

Mr. Khan thinks this guy's a fucking hero. This is your hero, Democrat Party. Bro, he goes on to argue that human rights bestowed by Islam include the right of men to beat their wives. Wait a minute.

Are we talking about Mexican? Italian? What? Oh, no, Islam. Bro, he said, quote, wait a minute we're talking about mexican italian what up no no islam bro he said quoting you have rights over your wives and they have rights over you you have the right that they should not defile your bed uh my definition of my wife defiling my bed is putting 11 pillows on it uh and i don't think that's what they're talking about and they should not behave uh with open unseemliness. If they do, God allows you to put them in separate rooms and to beat them, but not with severity. Oh, okay.

Well, in that case, I'm going to give Islam second thoughts. In his book review, Khan takes no issue with Brohi's shocking interpretation of human rights. In fact, he claims Brohi successfully explains them and argues his points convincingly. The review, which lists Khan as director of Islamic Center in Houston, was published in the Texas International Law Journal. Fucking believable.

Oh my goodness. And the keynote speech of Dr. A.K. Brohi, former Pakistan Minister of Legal and Religious Affairs, is a hallmark in this book, Khan writes. It successfully explains Islamic concepts of right and just in comparison to the Christian and Judaic counterparts. So, again, I ask, why did you come over here?

Did you think we were practicing that shit when you came over here in 1980 to be a businessman, quote unquote? Came over here in 1980 to be a businessman, quote unquote. In context, Khan concurs that human rights can only be guaranteed through the establishment of Sharia's moral and legal code. OK, so this is your hero. So Trump actually, once again, I know, you know, after the media skewered him and call him a racist and how dare you go after this gold star family. And he was right around the fringes of being right, wasn't he? About the wife not saying anything. Because if she did, she would have caught a fucking sharp elbow in the mouth right at the convention, according to what Mr. Khan believes.

Khan provides his own advocacy for Sharia law in a separate academic paper titled Juristic Classification of Islamic Law, which he wrote in 1983 while studying in Saudi Arabia. Classification of Islamic law, which he wrote in 1983 while studying in Saudi Arabia. The invariable and basic rules of Islamic law are only those prescribed in the Sharia, Khan writes. All other juridical works must always be subordinate to Sharia. And he means the U.S. Constitution should also be subordinate to Sharia law.

And this is your fucking hero so once again beautiful job by the media to vet this guy and uh though described by clinton the clinton camp in media as pakistani american lawyer less known as khan's acknowledged expert on sharia law doctrine his 13-page article which was published in the houston journal of international has been cited in dozens of islamic law articles and has been used in dozens of Islamic law articles and has been used in college syllabi for the Islamic law courses as recently as 2013. Yeah, that's all I need to hear. Enough.

I could go on and on and on. But, you know, why should I? Oh, that dirty cocksucker. So there's your hero. There's your fucking hero. Now I'm glad Trump gave the whole family a hard time, except for the son, obviously. I don't know how the son turned out to be such a,

actually an outstanding, you know what I mean? The mom probably instilled the American values in him, not the fucking old man. Anyhow, see if you remember who Kazir Khan is. See if the Democrat Party remembers who he is

a week from now. That's what's creepy and I said it before and I'll say it again. I told you, I was in a cab and I've told this story before on the show.

I'm in New York City, hot summer night, probably six, seven years ago. Cab driver got the, again, Muslims got the thing, the beard, the whole. And looking at me in the rearview mirror with those black Bible eyes. But a young couple was making out on the hood of a car and he went fucking crazy. And that's when I asked myself, well, what the fuck are you doing here? Here I am enjoying it and getting a little bit of chubby and this guy wants to fucking behead both the people and i'm like why again i don't know so there you have a man but um

we all know it's a rigged game. Is it not? Sure it is. Well, I don't want to break up the meeting or nothing, but she's something of a cunt, ain't she, Doc? How do you mean that? She likes a rigged game, you know what I mean? And then, I don't know, some guy on Twitter's going,

I don't know why Nick goes so hard on Hillary, because she's just a puppet, blah, blah, blah, blah. Don't give me that puppet horse shit. So what? She's a fucking more evil puppet. To me. And then there's other theories, which, you know, have crossed my mind, too. Somebody, some guy tweeted me and said,

he said, just picture it, Nick. Hillary, Trump made a deal with Hillary a few years ago on a golf course saying, you know, I'll run against you so you can guarantee being president. And that's crossed many people's minds, you know. If, let me tell you something. If he did that, he's the fucking business genius that everybody says he is, or that he says he is, because that would be the most unbelievable play. And again, you know, like I said,

the Bilderberg group and all that other horse shit. So who the fuck knows? But I don't think so. Really? I mean, do you have you have to you know he's been trashing bill as a rapist and uh so but uh who knows right folks i don't know what to believe i just know it's a hell of a story this year but and i'll say it again if if there wasn't a rigged deal but i'm just watching the fucking media i'm going you have to be kidding me that goddamn uh mr khan that guy got more benefits from AFTRA. He got more TV time than I have in my 28-year career. This guy's got dental.

He's got health coverage. He's covering half the Pakistani army with his benefits. But, you know, if it was not rigged or whatever, you know, I really believe Trump. And it's hilarious. They go and he's psychotic. Joe Scarborough, we talked about him yesterday, you know, morning Joe. He said, I was at a meeting with Donald Trump. Or he was talking to somebody that was a meeting with Trump.

I can't remember. It doesn't matter. But he said, and it was a quote, Trump said, asked about nuclear weapons three times in the meeting and said, why can't we use them? So what? Is what I say. You guys are ballists on the left you know all you do is complain how washington's broke and it doesn't work blah blah blah and uh then what do you do you put up the most status quo candidate in the history of fucking the presidential election you guys call yourself progressives at least we put up some wacko that's trying to shake up the system who knows if

he even makes it through and again you know again i didn't vote for him in the primaries uh but because he's not right wing enough for me but uh i do like his message and uh i think it'll be hilarious if he doesn't make it to the if they try to put somebody else in but how's that not going to backfire when 14 million people voted for this so-called mentally ill guy? It's hilarious. Oh, he needs a shrink and this and that. They are shitting their pants. Shitting their pants.

Obama's saying, oh, he's got to step down and all this fucking stuff. It's priceless, isn't it? It really is. Just flip through the channels, though. it it really is just flip through the channels though flip through the channels and just watch the news and tell me that this fucking thing isn't it's disgusting and by the way as i was coming on to do the show and again you'll listen to this on monday a few days later um but an american woman was stabbed to death in a london park last night by some uh they don't know if it's terrorism or not of course the the english papers oh he's probably just mentally ill they're still using that line of uh you know after there's an attack

guy was like a somali i want to say somali or nigerian but i want to say somali uh whatever 60 something year old woman american woman stabbed to death five other people stabbed but it's just a one-off he's just a crazy guy in the park you know and of course uh the muslim mayor of london stand is saying we got to take it easy don't prejudge don't uh you know uh so yeah i read that as i was coming on uh just fucking crazy and isis was of course celebrating it so the world's on fire and uh that's all there is to it so let's go over some of the incidents on on uh in the media some some of the anti-trump like i said he could swing a cat and there's a guest on cnn yeah this woman liz mayor she calls herself a communications

she's a communications expert new media advisor political consultant she's a blog expert, new media advisor, political consultant. She's a blogger. She's got her own website. That sets her apart, huh? A blogger and she's got a website. Who the fuck is she? Me? I don't even have a blog. She's also president of a PR firm with her dirty name on it. This dumb fucking who-a.

She appeared on CNN last night with Anderson Cooper. Is that his name? I always want to say. He's a fag. Yeah, Anderson Cooper. That's who it is. Another dyed-in-the-wool guy pretending to be fucking. So she was on there and talking about Donald Trump and, you know,

kicking up some dust. I guess Anderson Cooper gets 1.4 million people a night. So she can go out there and promote her PR business and her blog and all the other horse shit that this,

by the way, I wouldn't fuck her with my dad's dick, but that's beside the point. But she knows how to play the media. She's going to go on cable, and this is what cable has become. I agree with this. You know, you go on, say something fucking outrageous,

and then, oh, my God, you gain Twitter followers and website people. Go to your website, you get hits, and in the social media, you become a hero. Again, if it's anti-right shit, you're saying. But she's given her dogshit analysis about the GOP presidential race, and the subject came up about, you know, Donald Trump. And this is what Ms. Mayer had to say. A libertarian candidate who's going to join me on the set at the top of the next hour along with his running mate Bill Welch. Have you lost any hope that the GOP can rein Trump in to be more traditional or at least more disciplined as a candidate?

I lost all hope of that probably seven, eight months ago now, quite candidly. It's amazing to me that anybody's still having a discussion about having some sort of an intervention or bringing him back on message. I think, as Errol just said, this is his message. His message is being a loud-mouthed dick. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt!

Donald is a dick. Right there on live TV, on CNN, and Anderson Cooper pretended not to hear it even though dick is probably his favorite words i think i heard a little drool in the corner of his mouth when she said that because and then he started to get a glazed look in his eye and there's a little thought bubble above his head with a big juicy cock over it and yeah, he just went into a daze.

Didn't hear a word she said after that because he was picturing a nice meat sandwich. Sure. Yeah. But yeah, so she says that. Not only does she say that, then she goes on Twitter and brags about it, puts the clip up of it, you know, so she can blow up her business. She knows how to play the fucking game. She worked for Scott it, puts the clip up of it, you know, so she can blow up her business. She knows how to play the fucking game. She worked for Scott Walker,

by the way. His campaign quit after day one. It was another article. Yeah, she retweeted the footage and no more than 14 times after sharing it

with her 30,000 followers what she had done on CNN. and no more than 14 times after sharing it with her 30,000 followers, what she had done on CNN. And then she was back on at 10.30. And now I'm talking about her drudge, mediate, slate, you know, Slate headline. It says, after 452,000, this is the Slate headline, after 452,365 inane interviews, CNN guest finally gives right answer on Trump. His message is being a loudmouthed dick. And, of course, earlier we had Fareed Zakaria, you know him,

should be driving a cab in Buffalo, a TV veteran. He called Trump a bullshit artist. Mr. Peace, Mr. Zakaria. He said bullshit right on the air. And this is a guy who's been busted for plagiarism, oh, a couple times. It's fucking ripe, isn't it? You fucking assholes. Fucking quiz! times it's fucking ripe isn't it you fucking assholes fucking quiz hey folks if you like the show by the way i supposed to say this is the top of the show

go to connectpal.com slash nick and subscribe to the nick to pala podcast connectpal.com slash nick you get two to three more shows a week for $3.99 a month that's a buck a week can't beat it connectpal.com slash nick go to it or go to nickdip.com too that's my website either way i think connectpal.com slash nick is quicker but either way sign up for it it's growing like a it's It's growing like Hillary's handlebar. I love fucking, what am I saying? I love handles. Handlebars?

I've never been on a bike in my life. What am I saying? What the? Dip, dip. So see that, though? CNN. So she says, you know, Donald Trump's a dick, and she can get away with it because she's a woman. Okay?

There's nothing edgy there. Double standard again can imagine uh just somebody on the on the right saying uh hillary's a even bitch if they said a bitch in the interview i'd rather you know twat or you know whatever fat batch there'd be you'd never see him again on tv but this broad was back on cnn a couple hours later spewing her horse shit and how and like i said uh yeah they're just trashing them all over the place oh there's an intervention going on i i hope there is this is the most interesting shit i have ever seen uh but uh miss mayor wasn't the only one we have katie tour she was on with chuck todd on msnbc i'm just giving you a rundown of the

liberal media bias and like i said if you fucking don't admit to it now then you're just did dickweed. Katie Tour. I'd give her about a seven as far as bangability. Yeah. I'd like to get her in my garage, stand her up against a canoe and get behind her. Just

go, yeah. This'll change your vote. Huh? Think of Trump. Think of that beautiful golden hair of his. That's right. That's Trump's opponent. Trump's the mentally ill one.

But this is the fucking, that's the laugh of a sane person. Oh my goodness. Katie Tour. Yeah, you can just flip around. This is her analogy of what's going on in the GOP because there's rumors that they have an intervention and they're trying to get him back a message because he's such a loose cannon

and he's mentally ill and blah, blah, blah. It's just so obvious to everybody on the left that this guy... Now, you can take it two ways. You can go, maybe they have a point or you can go, oh, my God, this is the symptoms of a party shit in their pants meaning the dems just they're fucking like i said george w bush derangement this

makes this look like a you know fucking measles we're talking zika we're talking zika fly here with this type of uh here's uh here's a katie torr who i think that's her first name like it fucking matters talking to uh chuck todd about the golden boy don't you love that he's just got the world fucking buzz people are shitting their pants afraid oh my god this guy with his finger on the yeah yeah so about this uh today i likened it to um a an abusive relationship basically a girlfriend who keeps saying that uh despite the abuse her boyfriend is is is giving her the the attacks uh that he's going to change and that he really loves her and he promises this time is going to be different the rnc realizes this they

see that donald trump has promised that he would change and he would pivot before and he hasn't done it the issue they have is that they just can't walk away they're on a desert oh tell us more you're a journalist and a psychologist and just tell us more and i love when the media goes how about all the people voting for Trump? They must be psych, they're fucking insulting, you know, millions and millions of people at a time. No, we're just shaking it up.

This side of the aisle, we fucking walk the walk. We don't just talk about changing politics in D.C. Actually putting up this guy. Fucking love it.

He, you know, and again, we're talking about him, you know. But I think he can make the pivot. It's up to him. Because like I said, it's a fastball down the middle to beat this broad. Everything she touched, all her shit when she was Secretary of State. I mean, it's the reason the world is on fire. Her fingerprints are all over it. Her fat mayonnaise-covered fingerprints are all over it.

That's all he has to do. Then he can point to the shitty economy, which she's touting. She's touting what a great job Obama did. We're having the fucking slowest growth after a recession in 49 years. I mean, everything the guy touched. Guy's been a fucking disaster. A disaster. I mean, you could just sum up eight years of Obama.

I saved us from a recession. Yeah, sure you did. I'm not even going to bring up the 400 million dollar ransom and if you read more shit about that today belly laughing Josh Ernest going that was a coincidence or whoever they think it's a coincidence that the four guys released the same day a pallet showed up with a fucking 400 mil and francs and all kinds of foreign currency because we can't give them cold hard cash because they'll buy missiles and rocket grenade which is what they're doing oh my god if you don't believe this guy hated this kind i'm talking about obama if you don't believe this guy fucking hates his country and uh everything it stood for yeah but it was their money we owed it to him you have to be dicking and then, there's been more people scooped up

with American backgrounds over there as, you know, as predicted. But no, the president of the Harvard Law Review knows better. He knows more than all military people. That's what I'm saying. This should be a slam dunk. I can picture Romney sitting at home it's late at

night he's like his wife went to bed he's he's like in a fucking recliner his shirt is off his hair's all messed up it's you know we've never seen that in public he's got like a bottle of Jack Daniels and he's just fucking throwing his slippers at the tv and giving Trump the finger and actually urinating on his tv set when Hillary comes on. He's got to be out of his fucking mind. Remember how Al Gore snapped? And you couldn't blame, I couldn't blame Gore when he lost by a hanging Chad. Remember he went away, nobody saw him for about a fucking, what, a year? And then he came back, he put on about 107 pounds in lasagna weight. He had a giant fucking, almost like an ISIS beard on him.

zonuate he had a giant fucking almost like a isis beard on him fucking look like he looked like he been in vermont uh you know i'm waiting for romney to do that when you're that close to be the most powerful guy on the planet and you don't fucking i gotta believe and then you're watching this circus between these two candidates uh yeah he was so wrong about russia during the debates against obama huh remember obama being all cocky they asked uh who was uh united states you know what adversary our biggest adversary geopolitically would be the biggest threat the united states and uh remember romney said uh russia and mr ob, oh, the 1980s called and they want their foreign policy back. How's that look now, you fucking dummy? So to sum up today, he's a big dick.

Donald Trump's a dick. He's like an abusive husband. The GOP can't just, they know it's wrong, but they're going to stay in the relationship. I got to work out today, by the way. I got to do some 30-minute insanity. Shanti, how you doing? You got to focus. You got to stay with it. You got to do some 30-minute insanity. Shanti, how you doing? You got to focus. You got to stay with it.

You got to get yourself abs. Yeah, fucking laying around. You know, my addiction is pretzel stick, pretzel rods. You know, because they have like, I don't know, 18 grams of salt on each one of them. Again, I go through those like a woodpecker. Then I wake up and I look like Jerry Lewis on Pregnizone after he ate a pound of Kung Pao chicken

and drank a six-pack of Iron City Lights. What? You heard me. Problem? You're the fucking problem. Yes, I am the problem. Fucking Dr. Y onking jam rag, arking spunk bubble, I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm gonna put you in the fucking ground i promise you not this time uh here's a nice story uh american action news somebody asked and you

know who's asking actually uh pat caddell if you've seen him i've seen him before i he was on a red eye with me once with ann coulter and it's funny uh we went out on the sidewalk and he was kind of hitting up on kind of hitting up on ann coulter and uh i was standing next to ann and uh i i told her i had a gig uptown or something she says well get in my limo so i get in the limo with ann colton pat caddell looked at me like i was cock blocking him which is hilarious because he makes hillary look like fucking melania trump but um he knows this shit he's a pollster he's been around a long time a democratic pollster legendary democratic pollster is how they introduce him like when they introduced joe mor, it's always Hall of Famer Joe Morgan. But Pat Goodell asked the question, is Reuters, one of the most trusted news brands in the world, rigging their own polls to make sure Hillary Clinton stays in the lead? Well, I say so.

Oh, God, you're really pounding her. Yeah. In recent interview, Cadell claimed that Reuters has modified their polling process to skew results towards Hillary Clinton and even gone back to change the results of old polls that showed Trump leading. Beginning on July 29th, Reuters dropped the neither, in quotes, answer from their daily tracking polls when asking voters whether

they preferred Hillary Clinton or Donald Trump for president. While that itself might raise eyebrows, considering how many voters still appear to be undecided, the bigger issue is that Reuters also went back to reinterpret, in quotes, their most recent polls using their new methodology, and polls swung widely to Hillary Clinton after they did that. This guy's a Democratic pollster, so keep that in mind. Goodell called Reuters tampering both unprecedented and dangerous. He believes that many of those selecting neither on recent routers

presidential tracking polls may have been instead counted as votes for hillary clinton and done so intentionally now how can you doubt that after what i just played for you the fucking clips and if you're watching this but the thing is a lot of you people you have lives you work 40 50 60 hours a week and you can't follow this shit luckily i'm a fucking comedian who has plenty of time to immerse himself in this shit uh so you know a lot of people won't decide until you know a week before the election or whatever until the debates but according to rudas their justification for changing the survey parameters was necessary for accuracy yeah sure it was eat a bag of dicks basically they suggested that with so many voters turned off by the negative

tone of the race here's where the bullshit comes in too many were opting for neither so what while actually knowing who they were going to vote for in other words they're too embarrassed to admit they'd vote for either one of them. So they're just saying neither. Is it really fucking. Is it really Reuters. You know. A polling company. Is it really your job.

To try to read hearts and minds. Once again. That's what the left does. Oh you're a racist. You're a bigot. We know it's in your heart and minds. You guys are hateful. Really.

Yeah. Can you imagine Reuters saying that. You guys are just putting neither. But you really really know who you're going to vote for you're just too embarrassed so we're going to make the adjustment root has essentially said their new methodology would help them figure out who voters are really voting for even if they reported neither to pollsters. But Cadell thinks there's something more sinister at play. He cited two polls from last week's Router rolling polls, the 25th and 26th of July, which were reinterpreted by Routers to adhere to the new criteria.

On July 25th, Routers originally reported Trump 40.3% and Clinton 37.2%, which was a Trump margin of 2.8. They changed that data to be Clinton 40.9 and Trump 38.4, which is a 2.5 lead margin for Clinton. On July 26th, okay, I mean, I'm sure this can be documented. Again, this is a Democratic pollster. On July 26th, Cadell cited a similar swing towards Clinton. This is a Democratic pollster. On July 26,

Cadell cited a similar swing towards Clinton. The poll originally had Donald Trump up 5.2 points with 41.5% to Hillary's 36.3%. After Reuters' new methodology was applied, the poll now showed a radically different result

with Hillary instead leading Trump by 3.6 points. Cadell explained further, what you get is an 8.8 percentage point margin change, almost nine points swinging from one candidate based on some phony, some bizarre allocation theory that you claim you know where these people are or you're just leaving them out. Exactly. They're mind reading.

Somebody look into this, please. It's getting a little too heavy. You got a guy's a Democratic pollster, although I seem a lot, you know, on Fox, too. So. But anybody else making that claim? Of course not. So what do you think, kids? Like I said, the feminist movement is at the core of political correctness to me which is the status quo in this country for the last 40 years and they will move hell and high water to get this broad in office just like they did obama and uh you know i don't know what Trump can do. But I don't know how the fucking Republicans ever win any elections with the media that's stacked against us.

And, you know, well, that's only one facet of the, I know, but we're such a media-driven country. I mean, Jesus Christ, you know, we really are. And finally tonight on Meet the Press with Nick DiPaolo. Young and sexless is the headline. It was in the Post. Leonid Brashitsky wrote an article about millennials. They're hooking up a lot less, apparently. Well, that's bad news for me and bad news for you if you don't make that deal.

That's how out of breath I get. I'm the only guy that I fuck with an oxygen mask on, when I'm fucking, I look like a guy who just ran 80 yards for a touchdown, and goes and sits on the bench, and they slap that mask on him, that's me, after yanking it, anyways, uh, millennials aren't fucking as much, it's hard to believe, actually, I mean, it's a data situation, actually, it isn't hard to believe, I have a whole fucking, uh, theory as to why, and i threw it on the ground but uh poor millennials are taking a beating aren't they clint eastwood and esquire magazine call them generation pussies and uh i feel bad for them actually because they just like i said we're a

media-driven society and they're a product of that but uh they ever but they really are dickheads when they get online and go after people who say something off color or something they think they perceive as a rape joke or racist and shit it really is kind of sad they have minds of 90 year old women and they're like 18 22 years old but according this out of 15 percent of 20 to 24 year old americans born in the 1990s have had no sexual partners after their 18th birthday compared with just 6% of people born in the 1960s at the same age.

That would be me. But there's plenty of reasons for that. This lady suggests. Leonid. Leonid? Is that a guy? I don't fucking know. They bring up the continued prominence

of alcohol-induced sexual encounters and date rape on college campuses notwithstanding there's less unreported sexual violence and reluctant acquiescence because women are more confident than ever before and because porn is an easy way for young men to channel their fantasies i think we could solve a lot of the Middle East and, you know, a lot of these Syrian migrants raping German women shit. They are sexually, I really believe

that part of it is sexual oppression. They are really fucking pent up crazy fucks. We got to drop, you know, tons of porn over there. Then again,

they can get it on the internet, but they're too busy signing up for ISIS. Also, they say new technology may have created unequal outcomes. While some young adults may use apps such as tended to hook up with many partners, a growing minority may be excluded from this system entirely, perhaps due to a premium being placed on physical appearance on dating websites. That, more than any other kind of newly ingrained

risk aversion or responsibility may well explain the higher sexual inactivity rates um yeah i have a few theories on it how about uh since i don't know about 1980 when aids exploded after aids exploded every generation since then has had it drilled into their fucking heads that sex is risky. I mean, I've said this on stage fucking 10 years ago. Every time I read an article about sex, the word risky was used 18 times, and they tell them about risk in school

and handing out, they equated it with, and again, I blame the feminists for this shit. It was like fucking, it was like jumping out of a plane. It was like skydiving, you know uh you know riding a motorcycle without a everything was every time you heard about fucking sex it was oh you're gonna you're gonna die if you don't protect yourself and i think that message finally get through to about 19 million and and wrongly so aids turned out to affect about 0.02% of the population if you do your research. But that scared the shit out of them. And how about another one? How about feminists

having, you know, entrenched themselves in Hollywood and portraying men on every TV show and every commercial, every movie as a potential rapist and scumbag, especially white fraternity guys? How many years has that message been drilled down these kids throats you know even now i walked through the living room my wife's watching this channel and it was called how and then not in parentheses to kill your husband almost sarcastically like in other words you know this is how not to get fucking kill your husband because you'll get caught i mean but just the the negative the you know whether it's rolling stone making a fake rape stories on campus or whatever you think girls might be a little turned off by that young girls

and and uh you know but I do agree with her. There's other outlets like now you got that virtual reality sexy, you know, if you don't mind strapping on a helmet and looking like you're welding while you're jerking off. You know, guys can fuck virtual, you know, they have they have dolls in Japan that they're making that you can't keep them on the shelves. They're like seven thousand dollars. Japan that they're making that you can't keep them on the shelves. They're like $7,000. They're almost, you know, lifelike and you put on your helmet and your goggles while you're fucking her. I mean, Jesus Christ. So there are, you know, there are a lot of explanations why millennials aren't hooking up as much, but I really believe the one that, you know, Hey, all guys are potential rapist girls. Be careful. That's what they mean when they say women have more confidence today than ever

um but also i think another factor in my opinion poor women i mean porn has become so mainstream and if i'm a young girl and and they see that shit obviously some of them love it but they watch that and go really that's what i have to do i gotta do double penetration on day two i'm gonna be left in the dust that's gotta be a little uh disconcerting huh i'll just stay home and play with myself uh you know i mean if i was a young girl watching all that fire the shit that goes on in these porn things girls like i have to pee from a ceiling fan? I mean, how the fuck? My electricity was shut off last week. I can't do that. But there's a thousand reasons.

But the millennials, you know, that and they're just, all the fun has been taken out of their lives. And they're the ones now of the arbiters of good taste. If I say something off color, they're the first ones to boo me at the stand or of a club I'm at, whatever. But that's too bad because you see a lot of young, hot millennials out there.

Fellas, I don't know what to tell you. Well, I do know what to tell you. I talked about this when they charged, you know, that Rolling Stones article and then the kid at Columbia got charged with date rape and it turned out it was his girlfriend he'd been dating and she was fucking lying. I told you, the key is get a hooker. Even then, film it. That way she can't come back at you

but pay for it that's uncle Nick's uh advice to you pay for it you know sit home you don't want to be a dick like Donald Trump do you that's me fucking. This is me talking dirty while I'm fucking. I like to talk German when I'm getting down and dirty. That's dirty talk. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. Again, go to connectpal.com slash Nick to sign up, subscribe to the Nick DiPaolo podcast.

You'll be glad you did. It's a little information, a little fun, a little filth, a little bit of everything that we need today in the world, in my opinion. What else? Go to nickdip.com for my tour dates. That is all I can think of. Have I covered it all?

Imaginary producer. I think you have, Nick. I really think you have. Okay. Here's my friend Lee to tell you how I feel about you. I love you for helping me to construct of my life, not a tavern, but a temple.

I gotta work out with Shantina. I love you because you have nice abs and a tight ass so you can crack an egg on, motherfucker. You have done it without a word. Without a word. Without a touch. Without a word. Without a touch. Without a touch.

Without a sign. You have done it by just being yourself. Perhaps after all, that is what love means. And that is why I love you. I'm out. guitar solo I'm out.