The Nick DiPaolo Show - 160 - Comics Come Home 2016

Episode Date: November 15, 2016

Comics Come Home 2016

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Hey, hey, folks. How are you? This is the Nick DiPaolo Podcast Monday, the iTunes free version and Riotcast.com version for free. If you like the show, you can go to connectpal.com slash nick connectpal.com slash nick and you can subscribe for two to three more shows a week at $3.99 a month i suggest you do so a lot of people are because it's uh it's it's fun i treat it like a radio show and uh you know we cover everything topical and uh yes i suggest you do that. Connectpal.com slash Nick. And as always, top of the show, I got to thank the contributors,

subscribers, because also contribute financially to the show, which is really the lifeblood of the show. And thanks a lot. Pam Bird. Thank you so much, Pam. Glenn Johnson. Thank you so much pam glenn johnson thank you so much uh joseph rezwitz hope i'm saying that right uh brian melvin also a regular contributor thanks brian uh scott meddler thank you sir for the contribution uh gary anderson with a big fat one i can't thank

you enough gary uh it doesn't matter what size but uh some people i think they're rich i don't know and uh paul reagan thank you so much mr reagan well i appreciate that um yeah thank you guys it does uh keep the show uh going um what you guys do this weekend? I had a quiet weekend. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, the big controversy about nothing. It's crazy, man. I just, just when I think I've, you know, seen and done everything comedy-wise and as far as political correctness, and it reaches another level that I think it couldn't get to. I just, you know, I went up to boston for comics come home which i've done probably five times now four five six i don't know but hadn't done it in a few years uh cam

neely foundation they raise money great cause and uh they build places for when people have come to visit boston with their kids you know sick with cancer they have a place to stay it's just a tremendous thing. Dennis Larry does it every year and hosts it with Cam Neely, and it's a blast. And it was still fun, but it got a little hairy this year, as you may have heard or read. But I will get to that in a second.

Really, people ask me how I feel, like, you know, when I got home. I drove home from New York last night when i got home i drove home from new york last night got home real late or whatever but just even when i went to bed saturday night it just i think this this is how i felt really this this song pretty much sums it up wanda would probably agree um very weird but uh what was different about this comic come home it was not even a week after the election you know but this song was in my head as i was driving home from new york i'm like well that was kind of interesting jesus christ what just happened

um social media people fucking twitter honest to god people just jump on there and distort shit and I'll straighten it out if you want the truth to what happened uh

at comics come home I'm gonna give it to you at least my version and not the idiots the intolerant leftist jerk offs who are at the show. And, you know, just had to be 15,000 people there. I don't know the exact number, but I don't know.

But what, first of all, for me, you know, growing up in Boston and to come out on, even before the show, looking up at the banner and seeing the Celtics championships and Bobby Ors, Nebra Esposito, all the Hall of Famers of the Bruins. It's just crazy. And I haven't done arenas. I've done Radio City with Dennis and a few places like that, like 6,000 seats, but nothing like what my buddy Louie or Amy Schumer,

you know, Aziz and Zari. They play these stadiums. Kevin Hart, this is like a warm-up for him, but it is amazing to see that. It's crazy. It was a thrill, you know. And anyhow, so, you know, let's get to it. Dennis comes out with his band and does a thing, and with a visual aid making fun of both Trump and Hillary. it was really you know right down the middle and funny and uh they do they write these great songs and uh you can't ignore shit like that i can't believe people are going

uh people are asking dennis like are they allowed to do uh political stuff uh you know did you tell them not to and it's like are you do you know what we do for a living you talk about what's ever relevant if you're a decent comic i mean um and he had billed it as like post-election something but uh and it was fun anyhow uh yeah so the first few comics go out and do a great job everybody's funny and then uh i was looking at the lineup and i'm after a wanda and i've known wanda sykes for a long time i i i knew her when i wrote at the chris rock show uh on hbo that's right on people out there who probably think I'm racist who are booing me. Yeah, I wrote for Chris Rock. I wrote his jokes. And I'm getting people are still texting me and radio stations and papers.

And anyhow, I knew Wanda from Chris Rock and she's as funny as hell. But she has her political beliefs, which I can't stand, to be honest with you. And she can't stand mine. But it never as usual. I don't let it come between friendships and she can make me laugh as hard as anybody and vice versa. So.

So Wanda, you know, Wanda comes out and starts, you know, right off the top with attacking Trump and him being a sexist and homophobe, whatever. Let's play a little bit of, I got a couple clips of her. You've probably heard it by now, all this, but she chose to take this angle and I didn't, I honestly I was, like everybody else, I was shocked. I couldn't believe that Donald Trump won. I couldn't believe.

Mistake number one, and I've heard a bunch of liberals do this. Like everyone else, I was shocked. Not like everyone else. No. Some of us actually believed. I was pleasantly surprised, but I wasn't shocked. Again, still a predominantly white country with a lot of pissed off white working class people who've been ignored so it shouldn't be a shock but when

you live in hollywood and have done as well as wanda has you you tend to live in a little bit of a bubble i think politically so anyhow not to comment And we elected an orangutan in front of the Congress. I couldn't believe it. I was like, you fucking kidding me? We voted, they voted for an orangutan? This is ridiculous. You know. An orangutan. Dennis, like I said, when Dennis did his opening number, he put a picture up that, you know,

Trump looking like an orangutan. And I guess she did a callback to that or whatever. But I came out. Let me debunk debunk myth number one on social media that I call the president a monkey, which I never have and never would, because it's not a joke. It's just racist horseshit that I'd never say. What I did say was, you know, they left an opening when they referred to Trump as an orangutan. I went, oh, really? I, you know, she called Trump an orangutan. Boy, I could make a joke about Obama. I'm not going to because I wouldn't do that. But I just implied it.

It's a comedy device that I, you know, because there are idiots out there who have said shit like that. But I'm not just going to let it go. You know, again, the double standard. I'm not going to. I addressed it, but I would never say that. And I haven't. You can go through all my sets. I've never said something like that, blatantly racist on stage ever. But it had to be addressed.

And it was just so weird. I'm standing there watching her at the side of the stage, digging this hole because she's not really putting, that was like, she wasn't putting it in joke form. She made a good joke at the beginning about, you know, angry white men, which is also not true. She kept saying, angry, time for the angry white men. Motherfucking angry white men.

It's time for the, it's their time now. And, you know, I'm sitting there going, yeah, all those angry white, all those viral videos we see of people being pulled out of the cars and getting the shit kicked out of them by angry white men and people being beat up in a McDonald's because they got the wrong angry white guys. And every weekend in Chicago, all those angry white guy, what the fuck? I'm like, what the fuck? Um, so, um, but she had a good joke

about uh you know Bruce Jenner going ah you know Caitlyn Jenner going ah shit because he was a white guy which was funny and got a nice laugh but then she got a little a little too preachy and and you know I mean just I'll play the clip but she started to get a little get away from anything in joke form in my opinion and and when you're doing political stuff I don't care where it is it's got to be funny first if you're a comedian otherwise you're just preaching um and that's sort of I think the trap she fell into I don't know if she thought because Boston is so liberal which it is to the to to a fault it's it's it's lost its mind like all the fucking blue states um and and the way they're reacting which i called them onto which they didn't like again that's half the crowd so obviously it

felt literally like half the crowd like the country or actually more than uh but it felt sort of split down the middle actually more more obviously more pro hillary at comics come home or whatever but uh but she started getting preachy. And in a liberal city like this, it's hard to piss off the whole audience or a large segment of it. And so she started to say this, and this is where she got in trouble. After the election, I was going around consoling people. I said, guys, look on the bright side. Look at this.

I was telling everybody, it's going to be OK. It's going to be OK. I was like, I am certain this is not the first time we've elected a racist, sexist, homophobic president. He ain't the first one. He's just the first confirmed one. Fuck you motherfuckers. Fuck all y'all. Fuck all y'all. That's right. Fuck you.

I don't know who's saying that's right. Yes. You, you, you, you. All y'all. I don't know who, you can hear behind me, and I don't know who it was, but going, yeah, you know, like saying Wanda's right and shit. Which she can say what she was saying, but fuck all y'all. It sounds like something I'd say on stage when I was a comedy seller and I was drunk and the audience wasn't digging me.

But not in front of 15,000 people. Fuck all y'all. And she said it a couple times and she was getting roundly fucking booed. And she said it a couple times, and she was getting roundly fucking booed. And to the point where I saw that she got a little rattled by it, which is saying something, because she's done stand-up a long time like me. But do you never get used to that? That, I mean, in an arena.

So, and you have to be a little bit wrong. I mean, if you're in a city as liberal as Boston and you're getting booed I don't think you can pin it on all Trump fans there but who knows maybe it was right down the middle I don't know but it had to be it looked like 15,000 people the place is almost full so um the biggest mistake like I said she wasn't being funny about it she got on her horse and and and then she said right in the middle she goes I didn't I ain't getting paid to do this shit, which you can't say it a fucking benefit. But again, I've said shit when you're up there in the moment. And Trump proved this during his campaign.

You'll say shit on adrenaline or whatever drives you that if somebody asked you beforehand, you'd like. No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't say that. you're like no i wouldn't i wouldn't say that um so i'm standing in the wings going what the fuck is she doing and and digging a hole and fuck y'all and i didn't even see her give the finger to the crowd till i saw the boston herald i was like oh my god um so i'm standing by the side going what am i gonna do do i come out and just do my act the set that i had planned but you know my other choice is like wait a minute my fans know what i do on stage and i'm kind of outspoken as a white male and if i don't address this 800 pound elephant in the room i'm gonna look like a what am i gonna go and go hey marriage sucks huh i'll tell you i bought a toaster and this fucking thing.

It's so high tech. I mean, that's not going to work. But so by the time I started to head up the stairs and that is I knew as I'm walking on the mic, I could feel it bubbling up that fuck that. I'm going to answer that. There's plenty of people who don't feel like her. Me being one of them. And I didn't I didn't just go after like Hillary. Although, you know, I made fun of Hillary and her fucking't i didn't just go after like hillary although i you know i made fun of hillary and her fucking yeah i'm healthy and i said she's got like a shit stain in her pants and earwax and and and then i did some jokes you know i talked about even bernie sanders i refer to him

as an old jew or an old bitter jew which right away holy christ now i'm an anti-semite on twitter and everywhere else and i don't know i'm still trying to figure that one out because he is old number one and he is a jew number two so uh and then later on on the set uh not later on when i'm i have one more bit to go i'm up there so so i do that i do the hillary i actually made a joke about trump and immigration something whatever but i went up to hillary i mentioned bernie and i defended trump and and i So I do the Hillary. I actually made a joke about Trump and immigration, something, whatever. But I went after Hillary. I mentioned Bernie. And I defended Trump. And Wanda said she's a black lesbian, blah, blah, blah.

I came out, and she was upset about the election. I came out and said I'm a straight white male, and I'm fucking ecstatic. And if I remember correctly, that got huge. Like I said, at least half. When 7,500 people clap, it sounds like a lot. However, it got it got you know and then I went into my some political shit and then I started making fun of Hillary and I don't even know when I where I started getting booed I I did some political shit up front I I started making fun of Hillary and and you know Wanda was saying

he said all those things he said you know uh pussy grabbing by the pussy and and he said so we know he did we know he's racist we know he's sexist by what he said and and i was like yeah we know fucking hillary's a fucking felon by wiki leaks we know she had a server in a room or whatever and you know so we know she's a felon whatever and then i i think i started getting booze there naturally um because Boston has lost his mind politically not the whole thank you not the whole state but you know um and then I went into uh a bit about Faneuil Hall which I do all the time I've done it on every comics come home I think um when I go back to Boston I talk about Faneuil hall it's where i hung out to

get laid and the 80s and whatever and i and i said faneuil hall is designed by a rapist it's designed by rapists because there's a bunch of bars and they didn't put hot top off on a nice smooth street they put cobblestones down so when the girl drunk girls came out their pumps would get caught in the cobblestones and turn an ankle and then i said there's a pack is there's always a pack of irish guys behind the red hourback statue waiting to fucking you know jump on these girls so but the point is i i'm saying that fane hall is designed by a rapist i wasn't it's not a pro rape joke and i've done it every year probably for 12 15 years when i go back to boston just at the top of the show to get it and and never a peep now in 2016 that's a pro-rape joke so I mean just fucking asinine asinine um and then uh I went into NFL

the pink ribbon horse shit stop with that um I can't remember how the fucking bit goes but um yeah talking please cure breast cancer so I don't have to look at my favorite NFL team dressed like a a float at the gay pride parade blah blah blah I talk about uh you know whatever however the bit goes just how emasculating watching the NFL is with Viagra commercials and Ice-T telling me not to sexually abuse women. Bah, bah, bah. Of course, they thought that was crazy to be saying that.

It's like, are you bringing up breast cancer a bit at a cancer benefit? Well, yeah, Dennis Larry did a bunch of cancer jokes at the beginning. That's when I was like, I was even surprised.

I'm like, okay, so. But it's not even about cancer making fun of the nfl and how emasculating it is for a guy to watch a game between the viagra ads and all this shit so but but that turns into uh you know you know that that's inappropriate and some guy went on reddit and try to summarize my act without putting anything into context he said you call the president a monkey you did rape jokes um you did uh anti-semitic material just took it totally out of context just trying to paint me and paint me to be this you know psychotic whatever the fuck and uh i'm about to get off and

this woman walks up to the front of the stage with ain shirt on and gets and is pointing at my face instead of sitting in her seat going I didn't come here to hear you um bad mouth women who have been abused something to that nature and I I'm sitting there letting her get her peace out and and just out of you know just off the top of my head looking for something funny to reply I go take it easy folks just an angry Jew from Peabody I don't know why I said peabody's a town next to mine it's not even known for jewish people i just picked the town out of my head and uh the angry jew thing um just uh once i know the audience is you know pc i become like a human troll up there i will say shit to inflame them but but an angry jew from peabody which makes me totally you know i hate jews you're an anti-semite all this shit just the most ridiculous

but uh i even told a woman at the boston herald in an interview last night because she was doing an update on the story and uh she said look and i told i i still like wanda sykes that i have dinner with her tonight you know i hate her politics and she hates mine blah blah blah and um but but she put so she put that in the article and she said he did admit to calling somebody a peabody jew which she sounds sounds worse than what i said i was doing like a don rickles off the top of my head which nobody would blink at normally. And nobody would blink at it if it came out of Louis CK's mouth or Lisa Lampanelli's mouth or a Jewish comic's mouth. And sorry, I don't play those fucking double standards. Okay. If you think

you libs who will boo me, you think you're going gonna live in a fucking country or a world where you can say shit anything you want but you're gonna censor me because of my my race and my gender it ain't gonna happen and i suggest you and this goes for wanda and her friends you get used to it because trump's the president now and um and people who support me, the only way to defeat political correctness and them trying to silence you is by saying politically incorrect shit. You don't have to do it intentionally, purposely, but whenever you think you're going to hesitate because there might be somebody that gets upset,

say it anyways. That's my rule. And I know you're going, well, that's easy because you're a comic. Oh, don't worry. They'll be coming for for us soon they already have speech codes up in canada uh you know some comedian get fined 10 grand for making fun of lesbians but uh see that's the difference between us and canada and every other shithole something called the first amendment and it's not going away in the name of pussy and minorities and gays and uh and you can say anything you want especially with the backdrop of of white people getting pulled out of cars and beat the fuck up by four

white uh black guys because they voted for trump and then a uh a a person on cnn who used to be part of the sanders campaign a black woman going oh poor white people under that back do you really think i'm gonna fucking back down or anybody like me especially in in my business where we can say whatever we want sorry i got labeled i got labeled a bigot or whatever on tough crowd okay on comedy i also got my following on tough crowd because there's more people who agree with me than disagree with me tough crowds been off the air by the way for uh almost 10 years and for more people who agree with me than disagree with me. Tough Crowd's been off the air, by the way, for almost 10 years. And for you people who aren't familiar, because people do listen to this in the UK and stuff,

or New Zealand, Australia, you're probably familiar with it anyways. But I'm just saying, Tough Crowd, Colin Quinn, where we said anything we wanted openly. And that show should still be on the air. We'd all be billionaires and probably getting along a lot better. But what I'm saying is Wanda had the right to do what she did. And the people who booed her had the right to respond that way because she wasn't trying to be funny. It just seemed like a lecture.

And she is funny as hell when she puts it in joke form. So I'm just saying. But like I said, I can't believe I'm taking he like just an angry jew from peabody i mean i when you develop your career in new york and and you know everybody's making jewish jokes it's the word jew i think i think louis actually has a bit on it about the word jew somebody has a bit because people will refer to themselves i'm a jew you know or whatever i but it sounds derogatory. I think, actually, I couldn't find it.

I was looking for Louie has a bit on it. It sounds derogatory or something as opposed to Jewish. If you say Jewish, just a Jewish woman from, like I said, I don't even know why I said it, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. And I refer to Barney Sanders as an old old jew so in an eight minute set i guess that

comes across as oh my god this guy hates jews couldn't be further from the truth one of the things i hated about obama the most was how much he kissed up to palestine and and treated netanyahu like an asshole i couldn't be more pro israel i can't believe I'm even saying this on a fucking comedy podcast. I don't fucking know what's happened to the goddamn world here. In my hometown of Boston, that's what makes, where it all started, folks. You know, this country was born on throwing government off our backs. And it all started where I grew up, right in the Boston area. Now it's filled with people who can't get enough fucking government in their lives and want to censor people they disagree with. Boy, you're really handling the election laws

like adults, beating people. And I said that on stage, I call them liberal cunts and I'll keep saying it. And of course, somebody put that in and he used the C word and bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. Yes. I couldn't think of a better one. And i even prefaced the bernie sanders thing by saying i like bernie which i did because he's authentic i think he's you know his political he's a crazy he's out of his fucking mind but at least he had the balls to not be a phony like hillary but uh that's not enough you know so and it's funny i didn't think i could boo that much till i talked to a friend i knew after the show at the party and he goes wow they were boo think i could boo that much till i talked to a friend i knew after the show at the party and he goes wow they were booing there i go really because when i started i when i

started to hear some of the boos i started to i raised my voice so i couldn't hear him to talk over it apparently it worked but the double standard folks you're not going to have it you're not going to fucking have it i know you think you can shut up the white heterosexual christian male fucking keep doing it and i said to the woman who had her finger in my face in the front of the stage you're the reason trump got elected and she's probably thinking oh you're the reason anyhow um i don't know what happened to her but she thought it was like a protest but um you know it depends who you are and you can say uh now louis my buddy louis ck i'm always talking about on the show because he's the one progressive i know who's kind of an old

school liberal he really lets you have your say and listens to it and then he'll either agree or take it apart but he listens to it he doesn't try to shut you down and he proved that on the first louis episode by letting me he wrote the dialogue it was even more anti-Obama probably than I would have meant, but he let us get in a fight over it, which on the very first Louis episode, and he let me be a conservative on Horace and Pete. He let me have my say. Again, he wrote the stuff and I approved of it. I would have tried to change it if I didn't like it, but I'm just saying so. But so, Louie, but he has bona fides, as they say, as a liberal, because he's defended, you know, he's got a ton of Some of his bits. Here's a couple of them. And, I don't know, Tracy Morgan's another one. Tracy Morgan actually said

when his wife was pregnant, if my baby was gay, I was going to kill it. Boy, that really hurt his career, huh? I think people got mad for, what, a minute and a half? He's still going great guns. Can you imagine if i said it

i'm not even half as famous i'm just saying a white comedian uh as famous as him said something like that you'd be finished so fuck you double standard but here's my buddy louis with some of his jew stuff i mean jewish stuff don't text or twitter during the show just live your life don't keep telling people what you're doing. Just, because also, also, it lights up your big dumb face. It lights it up. I see this beautiful sea of darkness within just one

guy. So don't do that. What else? No Jews? I think they said that earlier. They told me I have to say it. Jews aren't allowed. If you're Jewish, this is a good time to go.

If you're, if you see somebody kind of Jew-y looking, then please tell an usher, and they will, Okay. Sir, come on. Let's go. Come on.

Let's go. Oh, God. But he's rich and famous, and, you know, he swims with the elite, and, but he's rich and famous, and, you know, he swims with the elite. But he's still, Louie's from Newton, Mass., but he's not from the rich part. That's what I like about him. He's a very smart, working-class stiff.

But it doesn't hinder him because, you know, for whatever reason. I'm just saying. Oh, let me address the other rape thing. The Faneuil Hall rape cobblestone joke. And the other rape thing that they were crazy over was Bernie Sanders himself. I brought up when he wrote some erotica. They brought it up during the primaries. He used to write erotica for some magazine.

He wrote an article saying when women are having sex with their husbands, they're secretly fantasizing about being raped by three guys at once. And I said, that's how you know he's a true socialist. Even in his rape fantasies with sharing the pussy three ways. Which makes me, again, pro-rape. And it's so tiring, you guys. You really make assholes of yourself. The people that go nuts on fucking Twitter and stuff.

And my mistake was to go back to the room with about eight beers and me and go, you know what, fuck it, I'm going to take on these Twitter people. And, you know, just respond'm gonna take on these twitter people and uh you know just respond with vile right vile right back to him but uh you know so like i said it all depends where you're i guess in on the showbiz pecking order the food chain what you can get away with and what you can't really it has to do with it like i said if you have your established liberal bona fides you'll get away with it or if you have a vagina or if you're black or brown or transgender you can do anything you fucking want and i will fight that to the death um here's louis here's louis on stereotypes which i love this fucking bit and i'm not just using louis i'll get to my friend Lisa Lampanelli who's got bigger balls than me and 40 comics I know combined

but here's Louie on stereotypes, a bit that I love. It's like when you see a black guy. There are black guys who go, shit! What he's saying is some stereotypes are true. That's the premise of the bit. Not all of them are, you know, bullshit.

That shit's funny. It's weird to talk like that. It all of them are, you know, bullshit. That shit's funny. It's weird to talk like that. It's weird to go, Mom, shit. Put your hand like that. That's funny. And it's not wrong to make fun of Jews that they're all chewy, you know? Anyway.

What? That's what Jews get. They're all chewy. what i'm sticking here in the stereotype that jews love money it's just not true i have this friend who's jewish and i tried to give him a dollar and he was like oh but that was in joke form nick what you just said you know an angry jew from peabody yes yeah so did donald rickles and and and a thousand other people made comments like that and um whatever and and the rape stuff like i I said, that was Bernie Sanders and me making a joke. It's just fucking mind-boggling where we are.

But who knows? Maybe you guys who were booing Saturday, maybe you did get angry at Louie and fire off emails or maybe you have come after Lisa Lampanelli. I doubt it.

I doubt it. See, I look like a dumb Guinea from Brooklyn who would be racist. So yeah, that's right. I get stereotyped too, believe it or not, but I'm definitely a white heterosexual male. So I'm the cause of all this shit of all the angst in the world. Right, right. But, uh, yeah, so it's, it's what else did I want to say about that night? I'll get to Lisa Lampanelli in a few seconds. Well, let me play her clips now. And what I might, you know, you might

consider it was racist or whatever, but compared to what I said, you know, my stuff was tiddlywinks. But here's Lampanelli who lets it fly. She was smart enough to realize, hey, I'm a woman. I can get away with this shit. Excuse me.

And some of the stuff is just, you know, the most stereotypical shit you'll ever hear. But she says it with a conviction and balls. Shit that I wouldn't have the balls to say. I saw her on the Tonight Show when Jay Leno was on there. She's making black jokes about black guys being lazy on the Tonight Show. You understand? When I did the Tonight Show, they gave you a list of 90 things i couldn't say so they should have just gave me a picture of like a minorities with an ex through it and a woman with an extra and a gay guy and saying you can't touch any of these but

listen to his lamp and ellie who i fucking who makes me laugh too i think she's crazy what do What do you call a black woman who's had seven abortions? A crime fighter. They're laughing. Now I gotta do a Hispanic joke to even things out. What's your real name, sir? John Juan. Quit fronting. Juan, I will dedicate this to you. Hispanic joke number one. How manyangics does it take to clean a bathroom? None.

That's a nigger's job. Hey, wait a minute. Whoa. That's kind of a fat joke, too. She probably said that seven years ago. I'll have to have my researchers look into that. I'm sorry. And she still sells thousands of tickets.

So you know what? You people who are booing me, blow me, okay? You fucking hypocrites. You're full of shit. You have a double standard. You have triple standards. And no moral compass whatsoever. But in a perfect world, she could say that.

In a perfect world, she'd be able to do those jokes on The Tonight Show if we were all adult enough. But there's a certain segment of the population I call far left libs that can't handle it. But, you know. Oh, here's Lisa on rape. Because did you hear last week another woman was attacked and raped in Central Park while jogging. See? Exercise is no good. I tell you.

You never hear about a fat bitch getting raped in her house while she's eating Doritos and watching One Life to Live. Yay! A woman said it. I'm safe. Men and women are cool. They all look like you get along together. Like, who's going to have some sex after the show? I sense there will be some.

All right. Cool, man. Hector, get a little hot sauce on the chimichanga oh goodness gracious that's racist a little gravy on the matzos and bags a little stool on your tool because you know oh my goodness again it's funny because it's true it's funny because it's true. It's funny because it's coming out of a woman, that's why. You hear the woman in the crowd? Yay! A rape joke, a Central Park rape joke. Yay!

And again, I'm not holding that against Lisa. She's smart enough to realize there's so many double standards by the idiots who run the media that I'll get away with this shit. She'll outsell meto-one tonight tickets. So spare me your fucking grief, you professional victims. I did Jay Oakerson's show the last couple nights ago. What's it called? What's Your Fucking Deal or something like that?

So that will be coming out soon. And, you know, there was a guy with a yarmulke in the audience. And like I said, when you're in New York City, I've been doing comedy here forever. There's always Jewish jokes. And I made fun of him. And I'm sure that'll be held against me too. And I went after, I referred to Bonnie McFarlane,

who I love. That's Rich Voss's wife. I kept calling her a bitch because she had the microphone in the crowd and she's running around interviewing people for me. And, you know, so there'll be more to come. But it's just, it's priceless to me, the hypocrisy. But we live here in the United States and what makes it unique?

We're the only country that's inviting the world to live here. All ethnicities and races. And, you know, we don't even ask them anymore to assimilate. But we're not supposed to point out our differences, at least if you're a white fella. You're not supposed to point out differences and make fun of those things. And, yeah, you try to have it both ways.

Again, these are the people that were booing. They didn't boo that much, I don't think. Anyhoo. But you know what I mean? We live in a country, and we have the First Amendment on top of it. Again, that's what separates us. We can shit on the president, say all kinds of things. But those people that just took it out of context on Twitter, nice try.

But the other ironic thing is Wanda's up there whining at how racist this country is and implying that every white guy that's held that office is racist and sexist. Yeah, it's in our DNA. Sorry. We are, as men we're sexist, okay? Because you define what sexist is and you're trying to legislate

that. But she's up there saying, you know, what a horrible country. Meanwhile, she's up there saying how you know what a horrible you know what a horrible country meanwhile she's a black lesbian um and she's got millions in the bank and is having a kick-ass career uh which she deserves because she has talent but i'm just saying it was ringing a little hollow to some people but it uh yeah it's kind of disappointing my uh boston which is when i was growing up everybody that's why there's so many comics from boston we're outspoken people and uh that's about all i wanted to say about that it's too bad too because i i love dennis i love cam and you know i hope it didn't put

too much of a black eye on it. But like I said, I wasn't the catalyst of when the night got a little. But then Billy Burr, who's to me the best comic out there right now. I just fucking love Billy Burr. And again, his politics are way different than mine. I think he pretends to like me. But no, we respect. He's a masked guy.

Like I said, he reminds me of every kid that I grew up in Massachusetts. Irish and funny as a motherfucker. And what a comedian. So he goes out and after, you know, me and Wanda made a mess and murders. and then Robert Kelly, my neighbor 12 miles down the street, who I've just grown to respect. He's built to do arenas, I think, because he was pissing and moaning to me, oh, no, I've got to go on last after that lineup of Dennis and Wendy Liebman and you and Lenny and Billy and and uh wanda and i'm never gonna

be i go bullshit dude i've seen you wreck a room and you know what it was like he was at the comedy cellar they ate him up with a goddamn spoon and they must have been full because there's a lot of him to eat let's be honest robert um i'm worried about you please try a pack of fucking NutraSweet or something will you please um just for health reasons I want the guy around I say that half kidding but uh you know I'm losing friends here I'm at that age this guy rocked the house he fucking rocked the garden it was like the like Bobby you're scoring the goal against the blues and overtime I mean he was shaking the rafters funny, you know? I mean, he's built for those plays.

And, you know, he did a lot of that arena stuff with Dane Cook, so he knows how to play those plays. And he's big on stage. He's, you know, very gregarious. But Jesus Christ, did he have a set. And, you know, I wish, because that's the first time I've been in front of that many people that I, you know, could have just stuck to my stuff. But other shit went on, and that's how life works, folks.

And don't hold it against me. Okay? Okay. And I really want to leave it alone. I know there's people trying to get me on the radio still to talk about this, but I don't want to talk about it anymore, I don't think. I'm just trying to be smart here. But take note, people, again, who are booing. And I don't want to talk about it anymore, I don't think. I'm just trying to be smart here. But take note, people, again, who are booing. And I don't use this either.

I don't use this as an... People at comics will do this. Hey, it was a joke. Or hey, it's just a comedy show. You can't use that 100%. Because then you can just go up there and say racist, unfunny stuff. Not in joke form. Just hateful shit.

And go, hey, I did it on the stage at a comedy club. So it's like, no, but you got to be able to say a little bit that it was in the name of comedy for Christ's sake, because that's what we were doing, you know? But I know my friends and my comic friends and my family, everybody who knows me knows that I'm not racist or bigoted or anti-Semite. And you can keep trying to slap that label on me people who are and uh around round we'll go around and i suggest you take note that uh you lost big you lost big this last election people on people are tired of your pc shit anyhow any who any he

um see you at high comedy club and yonkers tomorrow night by the way Anyhow, any who, any he. See you at Ha Comedy Club in Yonkers tomorrow night, by the way. That's my little haunt, local haunt. And I'm trying to, you know, I just shot a special a couple weeks ago, so I'm trying to put that to bed and start over again. Here we go again. Again, if you like the show, go to connectpal.com slash nick connectpal.com slash nick and uh subscribe you'll get two to three more shows a week um for 3.99 a month and uh yeah and for you guys who've already subscribed you know you know the whole thing you can uh i have stuff. Go to my website, nickdip.com, and I'll tell you how to sign up.

You know who thanked me, by the way, after I came off the stage? I went out into the hallway, and I had about four or five people, the security that worked at TD Garden. It was like a 70-year-old guy sitting in a chair with a security badge. I came off the stage, went right out the back, went into the hallway, and he thanked me for my set. Went down the hallway,

two more people thanked me. Went into the thing where they had beer and wine, and a couple guys, older guys at a table, thanked me. So not everybody hated it. Anyhow. How about, and this was sad.

Just before I started the show today, I went online and Gwen Ifill passed away. You know the woman from PBS? She's a news anchor. I liked her. A lot of people claim to be down the middle or claim to be unbiased and i always thought she made an effort um 61 years old jesus she had cancer um pbs news hour she started in boston actually at the herald um you'd know her she's black very very uh nice black woman oh that's right why'd you have to say she was black? Just so people could know who I was talking about.

Anyhow. Yeah, she had cancer, I guess. And she was just a really smart woman who never, I never got that, oh, fuck the rice. Even though she was at PBS, vibe from her. But she started at the Herald in Bostonoston uh washington post new york times nbc then she became the uh moderator on pbs's washington weekend review back in 1999 she received more than 20 honorary doc ritz had been honored with uh the pb a pb award and um all kinds of stuff. Unbelievable resume.

And yeah, one of the more sane voices to me. She moderated, as a matter of fact, the vice presidential debate between Cheney and John Edwards. And then the 2008 debate between Biden and Sarah Palin. I don't even find... Palin actually did all right in that one. I know you guys, not too many people like her. But I do, sorry. Eiffel served on the board of the Harvard Institute of Politics and the University of Maryland's Philip Merrill College of Journalism.

She was also a board member of the Committee to Protect Journalists and the Museum of Television and Radio. So thoughts and prayers to her family and her, I mean, it's the sane ones you know fucking howard dean i'll live till he's 109 rachel maddow be 206 what else do we have in the news um oh let's let's again for us people who did vote for Trump were excited. And again, I'll repeat it again.

I didn't even vote for him in the primaries. Don't make me out to be a total trumper. But he won me over with his fuck you to the establishment. And I'll say whatever I want to say on Twitter. That's sort of I'm like, yeah, he's got the soul of a comedian. People still in shock. But let's play some of the the libs in the media who were making fun when he announced. And what a joke it all was.

Let's play a nice montage of that. Donald Trump, just last week, he confirmed to the National Review that he is again considering a run in 2016. Do it. Do it. Sean Oliver. Do it. I will personally write you a campaign check now on behalf of this country which does not want you to be president but which badly wants you to run.

Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Donald Trump is a clown. I mean, does anybody seriously think that Donald Trump is serious about running for president?

Donald Trump, you know, he's a clown. The likely moderator apparently believes that Donald Trump is a clown. Which Republican candidate has the best chance of winning the general election? Of the declared ones? Oh, I didn't mean it. God damn it. I just stopped the clip. And it went back to the beginning.

That's Ann Coulter on Bill Maher. And Bill Maher asked her which one was going to. And she said Donald Trump. This is way before. And of course, all Bill Maher's audience laughed at her and shit. And it's a whole bunch of. God damn it, I didn't mean to rewind the clip like that.

What an asshole. What an asshole. Anyhow, everybody, it goes on for three minutes. So, ah, Eaton Crow,

and now there's this talk, and again, they've learned nothing. Now they're going, oh, there's violence, you know, because you've seen the riots, uh, not, not, now there's this talk and again, they've learned nothing. Now they're going, oh, there's violence, you know, because you've seen the riots, they're calling a protest, but people are breaking shit in the normal, the usual suspects, the anarchists and assholes, probably a lot of them paid for by Soros, but a lot of them, not, uh, some of it's organic, but very little of it. Um, you know, in Portland, Oregon and and Oakland and all the fucking usual Philly, New York, whatever. And and there's, you know, Trump people are getting beat.

You saw the white guy get pulled out of his fucking car. Houses are being vandalized still that have Trump shit on it. And then they spray BLM on it. And now you put on the news today and they're talking like there's violence on both sides cnn somebody has to fucking blow them up they were exposed for the lying cocksuckers that they are and fucking donna brazil and all the other and the chris cuomos and all the other phonies it has to be blown up they're on there today discussing that it's trump's people harassing muslims and minorities please show me that footage could you could somebody put that up i'm like i'm talking to myself rhetorically uh yeah really so

it's yeah it's that's what it is it's white right it's it's white uh trump supporters now hassling minorities and muslims give me a fucking break that's what they do the equivocation is going to start well both sides do it and they got to knock it off and some guy bought into that but in uh that was on cnn um but um a former navy seal carl uh higby said that people uh you know he said that uh people trump's people shouldn't commit hate crimes. And but but but then he questioned this woman, Simone Sanders, who used to work for the Bernie campaign. Just a, in my opinion, a hateful black woman who can't stand whitey.

She was commenting on Donald Trump at 60 Minutes and Trump just looked into the camera and said, stop it. You know, I don't think he even believes it's going on. But to his supporters, stop it if you're if you're causing problems. But that wasn't enough for this angry black woman, Simone Sanders. You know, that ain't enough. He's got to take action. Well, he just said it three seconds ago. Fucking relax.

OK, if it's even true to begin with, I think he's just just going along acquiescing. But so she's debating this former Navy SEAL Carl Higby. And, you know, Higby said no one should be acting violently or saying racist things. And of course, Simone said that hate crimes and protesting are not the same thing well they're the same thing when you're being hired by soros and whoever which uh project veritas if you haven't seen that that footage proved but listen to this so they go on and they continue to debate and then mr higby asked her about the guy that got pulled out of his car. And here's what Simone showed her true anti-white colors.

Hate crimes and protesting are not the same things. We cannot normalize this. Carl, a hate crime is a crime that is committed against somebody because of their religion, because of what they look like, because of their sexual orientation. That is not the same thing as protesting. You're not. I don't think Carl is disputing that, though. Well, he should make it very clear because what I heard is both people on both sides should just cut it all out. And a hate crime is not the same thing as protesting.

He did make it clear. You just didn't hear it. Your ears are blocked with hate, anti-white hate. Crime is not the same thing as protesting. We have to be very deliberate about it. And what do you say to the people who dragged a poor white guy out of a car and beat him? Oh, my goodness. Poor white people.

Please. Stop. Excuse me. Excuse me. Dad, are you going to pay me money or not? No. Can you fucking imagine? Let's see if she gets fired from whatever she does. And you blew it. You blew it.

Can you imagine? Oh oh poor white people which is what i've been hearing and anytime especially if you're a white guy ask colin quinn it's our favorite response anytime we get into arguments even with our comedian friends who are liberal like which ones fucking are um anytime you bring up you know and they'll go oh that's the knee-jerk reaction and i heard gutfeld say it too oh poor white guys can you imagine a white guy sitting on cnn national tv showing four white guys pulling a black guy an elderly black guy this guy and kicking him in the face and stomping him to within an inch of his fucking life and going, oh, poor black guy. Poor black guy.

But there's a segment in this country that believes that you can't be racist if you're black, which is priceless to me. That is just fucking, that notion is just hilarious because you're not part of the establishment, the dominant culture. Boy, you can rationalize anything, can't you? Just like white privilege.

You can stick that up your ass, too. Yeah, I saw all those white privileged guys thanking me after the show Saturday night. Guys who set up the basketball courts and chairs and work their balls off and, you know, trying to put their kids through school. Oh, so privileged. Anywho, can you imagine? She just went, oh, poor white guy white guy stop it she okay i don't know who she works for uh cnn sanders okay she works for cnn well there you go good to see you guys

learned from your fucking uh making an ass of yourself during the election oh my goodness poor white people, please, oh my God, stop it, Cal. Just ignorant, just ignorant. And that's a spokesman for somebody on CNN. Yeah.

She had something to do with the campaign. Barney's campaign, can you imagine? Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm. She was the, you know what she was? Bernie's campaign. Can you imagine? She was the, you know what she was? She's CNN political commentator and former national press secretary for Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont.

That's who, okay? There you go, folks. Again, keep it up. Keep it up. You'll never see the White House or the House or the Senate or whatever. Let's see what Paul Ryan does. So I didn't really write these down, but I know he's got to fill 500. He's got to fill like 4,500 government jobs.

And he already picked Rince Priebus, the head of the RNC, as the staff manager, his White House staff, head of staff, whatever you call it. So, and Steve Bannon is going to be his strategic guy. He's the guy from Breitbart, also worked for Goldman Sachs. And what an interesting guy that guy is. Bare knuckles brawler. And he's Grindell grindel richie grindel is that how you say his name he might be the new uh un ambassador to uh united states ambassador to the un he's openly gay really smart brilliant guy you wouldn't see him because you probably

don't watch fox but i see him on the sunday morning shows and he's brilliant and i think he's gonna have a place in a cabinet and and he's got to put Newton there somewhere. Got to, because he knows the ins and outs of D.C., and he can debate anybody, and I would love to see Rudy as Attorney General or Secretary of State, whatever. Right now, it's a little bit of a fantasy. Anyhow, and by the way, folks, I've been saying this. This show's not always this political, but off an election an historic election maybe the most unbelievable thing uh and this this country has seen you know that's why it's a little politics heavy

uh how about this that uh this is priceless three million votes in the United States presidential election were cast by illegal aliens, according to Greg Phillips of the vote fraud dot org organization. Yeah, but we don't need voter ID, right, Democrats? Yeah, we don't need that. I mean, that's that's exaggerated. Yeah, we don't need that. I mean, that's exaggerated. We have verified, if that's true, it says, this would mean Trump still won the contest despite widespread vote fraud, and he almost certainly won the popular vote. We have verified more than 3 million votes cast by non-citizens, tweeted Phillips, after reporting the group had completed an analysis of a database

of 180 million voter registrations number of non-citizen votes exceeds three million consulting legal team added according to current indications hillary won the popular vote by 630 000 votes although around 7 million ballots remain uncountedually all of those three million, which makes sense. You know, they voted for Hillary, right? Probably went to Hillary, obviously. So that means Trump might have won the popular vote. If you take that number into consideration, right? Jesus Christ. Boy, did she get smoked.

She got schlonged. Remember that? She got schlonged. Vote fraud using ballots cast in the name of dead people there's four million dead people on the voter uh you know four million dead people on the uh voter rolls in the united states yeah you don't need id though why would you want to do that that's racist although some states require some form of ID. That would be a picture proving you are who you fucking are if you've forgotten. So some states require a form of ID before voting. But California, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota,

Nebraska, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Vermont, West Virginia, Wyoming, and Washington, D.C. all require no identification before voting. Well, maybe that explains the 3 million people that voted that aren't citizens. Well, I know you guys have a wet dream about a global thing happening or whatever, but, you know, Brexit was a fucking stick in the spokes a thumb in your eye and now trump so it might be headed that way folks it might be a title where that eventually will went out but not right now you guys are too much of a hurry and finally tonight why is everyone

so fucking stupid? Because of colleges and who teaches there. Why are more people interrogating like me? Because of colleges and who runs them and who runs the media. That's why people are so fucking stupid. All those high information, those people who just, well-informed voters, you know, like illegals and college kids and people who have been in the country for three minutes. You know, felons, all the ones the Democrats go after. Finally, a professor, professor is plural, asked Sullivan to stop quoting Jefferson.

Teresa Sullivan, she's the president of the University of Virginia. And several groups on grounds collaborated to write a letter to the university president, Teresa Sullivan, against the inclusion of a Thomas Jefferson quote in her post-election email

November 9th. Oh, God. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

In the email, Sullivan encouraged students to unite in the wake of contentious results, arguing that the university students have the responsibility of creating the future they want for themselves. And then she quotes Jefferson. Oh, my God. Listen to how. Listen to this. Listen to this. This basket of controversy. Thomas Jefferson wrote to a friend that University of Virginia students are not of ordinary significance only. They are exactly the persons who are to succeed to the government of our country and to rule its future enmities, its friendships, its fortunes. Sullivan said in the email, I encourage today's UVA students to embrace that responsibility. Oh, my God, how fucking racist and how horrible. Because we all know that, you know, Jefferson had slaves and it's just a fucking horrible person, right?

Can you fucking imagine? Some professors from the psychology department, there you go, cuckoo for cuckoo pups, and other academic departments did not agree with the use of this quote. Their letter to Sullivan argued that in light of Jefferson's owning slaves and other racist beliefs, she should refrain from quoting Jefferson in an email communications. And I say this to whoever wrote this. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! That would be my response if I was Teresaa sullivan but she's actually an

old lady yeah yeah uh you know they probably don't have any problem that hillary wrote her thesis in college on sol alinsky right uh that's fine or uh how about some of the uh malcolm x the professors uh you know telling the black professors don't don't quote malcolm x because he was for violence at one point and he hated white people so can we not bring him up on campus either you know this tit for tat uh we would like for our administration to understand that although some members of this community may have come to the university because of thomas jefferson legacy others came here on a full football scholarship because they run a four five forty and can bench 400 pounds others came here in spite of it of jefferson yeah okay whatever sorry we're supposed to redo what are we supposed to do undo history for a fucking 12 of the population get the fuck over it please thank you for many of us the inclusion of jefferson quotations in these emails under to undo history for a fucking 12% of the population. Get the fuck over it, please.

Thank you. For many of us, the inclusion of Jefferson quotations in these emails undermines the message of unity, equality, and civility that you are attempting to convey. Fuck off. Eat it. People came to you in spite of Thomas Jefferson. They came anyways. Give me a fucking break.

The letter garnered 469 signatures, both from students and professors, because they're equally fucking retarded. Before being sent out via email November 11th, the signees included, if you want to write these people, maybe egg their fucking windows, politics professor Nicholas Winter, psychology professor Chad Dodson. Woman, gender, and sexuality professor Corinne Field.

You know her from her sideburns and her fucking work boots and flannel shirt. College assistant Dean Shilpa Dave. And politics professor Lynn Sanders. And many more. Assistant psychology professor Noelle Hurd, who, she drafted the letter. Ain't she cute, huh? Oh boy, Mrs. Hurd.

Just they hate America to the core, and I don't know how Trump flushes them out. That has to start there, though, because that's when all the indoctrination happens as if we're going to have fucking riots and stuff it should start on the campus of devry unbelievable politics professor laurie belforce said she believes everyone who signed the letter including herself was grateful that sull Sullivan responded to anxiety following the election. However, many felt it was the wrong moment to turn to Jefferson.

When would be the right moment to turn to one of our white founding fathers who owned slaves? Can I ask you that, Mrs. Balfour? When would you say, you know what, Jefferson, like that's all he did? Such a, ugh. However, many felt it was the wrong moment to turn to Jefferson following incidents of identity-related hate speech. Huh? All the fucking footage I'm watching on TV is Trump supporters getting the shit kicked out of them. So I don't know what dream you're having.

Listen to what she says. I think that Jefferson is often celebrated for his accomplishments with little or no acknowledgement of the atrocities he committed against hundreds of human beings. Yeah, no, you're right. He's a regular fucking Christopher Columbus. Yeah, they never bring up that he owned slaves. Are you fucking shitting me? I thought he was a slave owner before I realized that he actually was one of the founding fathers and influential in how the country came about. I thought he was a founder. It's like young people.

I thought he was a founder. It's like young people. It's, you know, young people that they didn't realize that they're like, oh, Trump's a TV star. They didn't even know that he built buildings. Anyhow, enough of this shit. So nothing's changed yet. But but I love this. I love this conversation going on that there's violence going on out there after the election on both sides please please show me we have five uh angry white fellas that wanda sykes would call them

dragging some person of color out of their car does that really exist did that happen this week you'd think so watching these mama lu Luke's mama Luke's let's listen. I'm going to play that clip again because I'm still celebrating the election and it caused me so much grief at the comics. Come home. Let's play again here. Here are the libs again. I'm going to let the thing play through talking about Trump when he announced

for presidency. Donald Trump. Just last week, he confirmed to the national review that he is again considering a run in 2016. Do it. he announced for presidency. want you to be president but which badly wants you to run. Donald Trump has been saying that he would run for president as a Republican, which is surprising since I just assumed he was running as a joke. That's Seth Meyers. Is that people think that Donald Trump is a clown. Donald Trump is a clown. I mean does anybody seriously think that Donald

Trump is serious about running for president? Yes, some of us do. Donald Trump, you know he's a clown. The likely moderator apparently believes that Donald Trump is a clown. Which Republican candidate has the best chance of winning the general election? Of the declared ones right now, Donald Trump. Oh, listen to the Bill Maher's proud laugh, and it ain't cultic. President Obama will go down as perhaps the worst president in the history of the United States!

Exclamation point, at real Donald Trump. Well, at real Donald Trump, at least I will go down as a president. You did go down as a president. So basically this is the beginning of the end for Trump. The beginning of the end. The beginning of the end. This is probably starting of the beginning of the end for Trump. The beginning of the end. The beginning of the end. This is probably starting of the beginning of the end for Donald Trump. Donald, you're not going to be able to insult your way to the presidency. The strongest person usually isn't the loudest one in the room.

So right now we have Hillary's about 75 or an 80% favorite. We have different versions of the forecast you can look at. The poll has Hillary Clinton up by double digits nationally, 12 points, 15 to 38, a four-way race. Clinton leading in Florida. Clinton leading in North Carolina. Clinton leading in Ohio. Clinton leading in Nevada.

I could go on and on and on. I continue to believe Mr. Trump will not be president. And so right now, Mr. Trump, to answer your call for political honesty, I just want to say you're not going to be president. All right. It's been fun. It's been great. I love you. Come on. Come on, buddy. We have a major projection right now. Donald Trump will take Ohio. That's the end of the project. Donald Trump will carry the state of Florida.

Huge win for Donald Trump. Donald Trump, we project, will win in Kentucky, in Indiana, with its 11 electoral votes. West, Virginia, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Mississippi, South Carolina, Alabama, North Dakota, with its three electoral votes, and South Dakota, Texas, Arkansas, Louisiana, the state of Montana, North Carolina, Georgia, Iowa, Utah, Wisconsin, Arizona, Kansas with its six electoral votes, Nebraska with its five electoral votes, and Wyoming with its three electoral votes. Sorry to keep you waiting. Complicated business.

A lot of people have laughed at me over the years. Now they're not laughing so much, I'll tell you. Excuse me. Excuse me. And you blew it. You blew it. You guys blew it. Yeah, I'm still gloating.

What are you you shitting me after eight years of Obama alright folks that is it that's the DePaulo podcast again go to connectpal.com slash Nick

to subscribe to the podcast it'll be the best thing and we talk about everything we'll do pop culture all kinds of horseshit we say stuff we can't say anywhere else but the boiler room

of my house not even my house but uh uh come see me uh this coming weekend at helium and buffalo 17 18 and 19 uh it'll be a great show uh where else am i gonna be the Comedy Shop in Newtown Theater in Newtown, Pennsylvania. It's a big theater and Uncle Vinny's in Point Pleasant on December 17th. And that's right. I go from TD Garden to Uncle Vinny's in Point Pleasant. Man, does this business fuck with your head. Comedy Connection in Rhode Island, January 13 and 14. That'll be minus 11 degrees. January 13 and 14. That'll be minus 11 degrees. Bananas, Hasbrook Heights, 20 and 21 of January.

And Laugh, Boston, February 16, 17, and 18. Magoobies, and that's a suburb of, you know, of something in Maryland. Timonium, Maryland. That's what it's called. February 23, 24, and 25. That's enough for now. Folks, thanks so much for tuning in to the DiPaolo podcast. Go sign up, and we'll have some fucking fun because it looks like the media and your lib friends

haven't changed their stripes. They're only getting angrier. So let's fight them. And Wanda Sykes will be just fine. Trust me, she's tough as nails. And like I said, I'd have dinner with her tonight. It wasn't about us, actually. But I'm just saying.

I don't let politics come in between friends. Okay? A funny lady. And go see her. And come see me. I need the money worse than she does. As racist as this country seems to be. I'll talk to you later, motherfuckers.

Okay? And she does as racist as this country seems to be. I'll talk to you later, motherfuckers. Okay. Everybody's happy now The good things here stay Please let it stay Hey, hey, I saved the world today Everybody's happy now The bad things gone away Fuck you. Fuck you. Okay, then I quit. It's your son. guitar solo I'm out.