The Nick DiPaolo Show - 166 - Bye George, Arrogant Obama

Episode Date: December 27, 2016

Bye George, Arrogant Obama

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. Yuck. Yucky. Not one of his better ones I gotta be honest I don't wanna see the guy die But come on Last Christmas This song is right on the money Lyrics wise

Are you with me? The very next day You give it away You give it away Alright you're giving me a headache Well George Michael bit it huh? Well A lot of his songs though Seem to be right on the money on this sad occasion.

Lyrics-wise, you know what I mean? That's him doing an Elton song, but, you know. Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see. That's him doing an Elton song, but, you know. I'm a fragment of your life. It's a one to three. I'm just saying. You can't be blowing guys in public park bathrooms and stuff and doing drugs and doing all kinds of shit and expecting to live to the 106. I don't mean to sound like Jack LaLanne here, but I'm just saying, behavioral is a little bit risky.

How you doing, hon? That was my Silvio Dante impression. George Michael. Well, he did have this snappy one. I sort of enjoyed this tune because I was like 22 when this came out, and the girls loved it. Again, he's right on the money, predicting his own death with his funeral music at the beginning.

They say this part of the song was to signify that he was no longer that wham guy. He was starting his own solo career. That part of his career was dead. That's why he put the organ shit in there. And then he came out with these faggy jeans on that really gave me a headache. Even back in 84. But I can't count the number of times I got a nut off to this video with Cindy Crawford touching

herself in a tub, if you remember correctly. At least that's how I interpreted it. And all these other supermodels. But, uh... Oh, the broads love this song. Oh, they used to get moist and stinky when this one came on. It's one of those ones that'll be sticking.

It'll just be stuck. Stick in your head. Hey, have another drink, Nick. It'll be stuck in your head for the next fucking month and a half. Oh. Didn't help you very much, Georgie. Can't argue with his success. Over 115 million albums sold worldwide.

Minka. That's a lot of cashies. And what did he do with all that money? Bought blowjobs. Bryant Park and Will Rogers Park in L.A. I actually took a dump in there. I'm lucky I got out of there with my life. But any of you people my age remember this one.

Oh, boy. Quite a video. But I'm reading about him. He was in some rehab place over in zurich and uh you know that's in jersey and uh it was like 70 000 euros a fucking week or something uh just astronomical and it's like a picture of him sitting on the balcony having a drink while he's in rehab and smoking a cigarette uh that's my kind of rehab if you're going to go to rehab uh yeah i want to go to one where i can uh continue my risky behavior my drinking and whatnot they said it was it's like leave it to europe fucking western europe

uh it's some kind of newfangled you know rehab where you just basically they go it sounds like the biggest scam ever well you know well we'll have a few meetings and shit but you can do whatever you want if you want to pursue the behavior that's got you here on the first play continue who are we to get in the way so fucking afraid to make a judgment they call and they call that rehab over there at least from what i've read but it was crazy he had had his own car that took him into town and shit and they refer to him as a client and not a patient and this rehab facility only concentrated on two or three people at a time it sounds like the best scam i've ever fucking heard but like i said a lot of people

weren't big fans of his and you know how i like to mix stand up into my show right by the way folks before i go any further if you're listening to the show and uh you want to subscribe to the show you do that at connectpal.com slash nick connectpal.com slash nick you get two to three more shows a week at 3.99 a month like i said i treat it like a radio show and it's been quite successful so uh give a friend of yours who's a nick depaulo fan a gift and subscribe to the podcast connectpal.com slash nick and quickly before uh before i go any further i gotta thank the contributors because people who subscribe can also contribute money and uh they do because that's really the lifeblood of the show. My buddy Timmy from Cincinnati contributed.

Jeffrey Kalman, once again, with a nice contribution. Anthony Andrea has contributed. Everybody says Andrea now. Like, you know, fucking pasta used to be macaroni. Dennis, my boy Dennis, has contributed to the show. Brian Melvin with a nice fat one. Thank you again, Brian. And Zach Hudak. Sounds like a tight end out of georgia don't he

but thank you guys so much for the contributions it's a dangerous situation but uh back to the that's the biggest news the george michael thing and he dies like on christmas and um you know some people a lot of people say i just see him gone i i know there's a few people who you know there's one guy who's, well, he passed years ago, one of my favorite comics of all time, who was not a big George Michael fan, and here's the great Bill Hicks. You gotta have faith.

No, George, you gotta have talent, dude. Oh, come on, Billy. New rule. Oh, come on, Billy. New rule. And you can shave that two-day growth of beard off because you're fooling no one, you big girl. All those people applauding have his albums. For the record, let's not mince words.

Our very lives depend upon truth. George Michaels is a big girl. If you ladies like him, you're dykes. That's the way it is. That's cool. I've always said the only thing more beautiful than a woman is two of them. Go ahead and like him. But understand that it's a part of you

that makes you want to go down on another woman. That's all. Every time you listen to the record, you're thinking, God, I'd love to eat another woman's pussy. But fine, enjoy it. You know, enjoy it. Don't feel guilty. Do what you want to do.

And God loves you no matter what you do. But understand that every time you listen to George Michael or give him money, that you're thinking, my God, what would I not give to have a bush in my mouth right now? god to smell that stinky little peach fish oh lord oh give me that stuff let it drip like honey but understand that that's cool but that is what it is George Michaels, man.

Have you seen this guy? He's hawking Diet Cokes now. Have you seen that commercial? Woo, Diet Cokes. I'm George Michaels. Woo, I'm a rock star. What kind of Reagan wet dream is this fucking world, man? These are our rock stars, yeah?

Hawking Diet Cokes. What real rock star would do something like that? It's Keith Moon for Snickers. Sometimes I'm doing a drum solo and I haven't eaten for like three fucking weeks. The needle broke off in me arm. I eat a Snicker. That's a rock star.

Diet Coke. Why don't you just put a skirt on and get on a swing set for that commercial, George? Diet Coke. Come on, y'all. Let's drink Diet Coke together and listen to rock music. Come on. Come on, everybody. I got extra panties in the tour bus.

Let's go. Come on. I got panties for everybody. We're going to drink Diet Coke so our little bottom doesn't get too big. God, we love little bottoms, don't we, girls? Yes, we do. Make me fucking sick. Oh, the hateful Bill Hicks.

You can't talk about George Michael if you're a stand-up and not play Hicks shitting on him. Come on. But, you know, to each his own, I say. But Jesus Christ, he was a little bit of a wild one. He got busted in, what was it, 2006, I want to say, about 10 years ago? Maybe more than that, 20, I can't keep track. But he's blowing a guy. I'm talking about George Michael michael not bill hicks and uh in a park

in los angeles will rogers park i used to go up there myself and uh give myself a hand job behind a redwood tree nobody wrote about that what he didn't come out till 2007 but that's why i like that hicks pic he's the bill hicks but that's why I like that Hicks pic. He's the Bill Hicks bit. He's like, you're not fooling anybody with that five-day-old growth. Incident on April 7th, 1990. Oh, it was 1998. He did a lewd act in a public restroom at the Will Rogers Memorial Park in Beverly Hills.

Hey, who hasn't? I mean, who hasn't? I remember I was doing an episode of Suddenly Sues It. They didn't like my work. I went up there and I got a handjob from Midget. It's a true story. What? Well, it's a popular place in LA.

In 2006, Mr. Michael was accused of anonymous public sex at London's Hampstead Heath, what is it, an airport? Early that year, he was also arrested for drug possession, was released without incident in 2008, and again in 2010, received a DUI in the UK for driving under the influence of drugs. He loved his fucking marijuana, and then he quit it like cold turkey, but they said at the end he was smoking 25 spleefs a day,

so what are you gonna do uh what are you gonna do i mean he's gone he's got nothing we can do he's gone what do you mean well you know what i mean he's gone and we couldn't do nothing about it that's it what do you mean wait a minute. He's gone. He's gone. That's it. Apparently, De Niro took the news bad, too. He's a close friend. I can't fucking believe it. I can't fucking believe it.

This guy got caught in the park. Fucking a squirrel. Now he's gone. It's a dangerous situation. You gotta have cock, cock, cock. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Blah, blah. Blah, blah. Blah, blah. you gotta have cock cock cock oh yeah 2016 if you're a celebrity unlike myself uh you're gonna you're gonna be happy we ring in

the new year next week these fuckers are dropping like they're taking some of the biggest talent i mean prince fucking gilligan's islands bob den Denver, and I can't remember, Muhammad Ali. Some real big ones though, right? Am I correct? Sure I am. I'd list them for you, but that would be being prepared. I'm still trying to shit out the Christmas ham, so give me a break, could you please? How was your Christmas, kids? By the way, if you guys have a small business and you want to advertise on this show, that's an option also. The show gets about anywhere from 100,000 to 115,000 downloads on a Monday on the iTunes version.

So it might be worth a while to look into it. I've had a couple inquiries already. You go to Nick at NickDepalo.com. Nick at NickDepalo.com. If you're interested, fuck and uh want to advertise on the show we do have sponsor we had blue apron we had the razor what's the razor that's the guy's name i can't remember it i try to cut my wife with it that's all i can remember but uh he's gone nothing we could do speaking of gay fellas how about the two douchebags i don't know if i i

brought it up i think the ones that were fucking giving ivanka trump a hard time on jet blue these two fucking goo gobblers these two fucking just everything that's wrong with the world in my opinion two fucking hey everybody should get a trophy because we're big girls and we hate anybody who didn't grow up being picked on and we both wear glasses and uh we like to bully women because we just they dress better than us we want to dress like them but we don't have the balls you know what i'm talking about brooklyn attorney dan goldstein and his fucking husband yes i know i know i know Here's the thing up with this story that makes me fucking crazy Get the fuck off my plane

Yeah, get the fuck off of my plane Fucking quiz Take it easy, you don't have to talk like that That's ridiculous No need to go on that goddamn fuck Come on now, you gotta be nice You can act like a man no need to go in that goddamn far come on now you gotta be nice you can act like a man what's the matter with you i'm just saying i guess they've gone into hiding since mr goldstein bullied ivanka trunk with her kids i just love the left is exposing themselves

for the fucking garbage that they are. Again, I'm talking far left, not everybody. Just the 77 million who voted with a thick-ankled dog face. A Hunter College professor, Matthew Lasner, and their son. Before voting, the family spotted Trump and her husband in Jared Kushner. Laszlo tweeted, Ivanka and Jared at JFK's T5 flying commercial. My husband's chasing them down to harass them.

He's all proud and shit. Chasing down a family with their kids to harass them. A lot of balls. And Mr. Goldstein andstein and mr lazarner would think this is what scares me they really believe that the rest of the country including the midwest and the flyover states they really think all of america is like them even though they represent like two streets on the upper west side as far as their lifestyle and anything else but they would have you think that this country sees it their way politically

lifestyle wise and they're so fucking out of touch it's just it's beautiful i can't help it and i love the fact that they get attacked so much they had to pull down their twitter account and uh just make me fucking sick to my stomach see a few years ago somebody could have you know dry gulched one of them that's a term that that Robert De Niro used in This Boy's Life. It's an elbow to the chin. Somebody would have fucking just wound up with an open hand. You don't have to punch. Just an open hand slap right across the guy's, knocked his glasses off.

That would have been a few years ago. And to me, in a better world. Not like where we are now where that would mean a lawsuit and you go to jail for 11 years because it's a hate crime because you just slapped a fag professor's glasses off. Can we get back to the good old days, please? But when Mr. Goldstein spotted Trump and Kushner, oh, my God, this is a nightmare. They ruined our country. Now they're going to ruin our flight.

You big fucking girl. A witness to the incident passenger, Mark Sheff, said Goldstein did not raise his voice. I wonder how Mark Sheff voted. Did not raise his voice, but said he was shaking with anger and seemed agitated.

The lawyer did ask, why is she on our flight? She should be flying private. You fucking goo gobbler. You fucking worthless gobbler. Who's going to teach your son to throw by the way he's gonna be in for a fucking decade of bullying huh anyhow what are you saying nick you're not for yeah i'm not a big fan of that fucking i don't mind gay marriage and that shit but uh you know

i think studies have been you know only a little bit of history and thousands of years of proof that uh you know a man and and woman, when they raise a kid, it works out better for the kid. Cocaina. Why is she on a flight? She should be flying private. And if this douchebag saw her flying private, he'd be like, why isn't she on our flight? What, is she too good for us? So, you know, suck a bag of dicks.

Get out of my life. isn't she on our flight? What, is she too good for us? So, you know, suck a bag of dicks. Get out of my life. Jet Blue officials escorted Goldstein and his family off the plane, later releasing a statement that the company's policy

is to deplane anyone who causes conflict. The family got on another plane and Trump and Kushner continued on their original flight. Anyhow. Any he and then a him. Chef later published a Facebook post, so you know it's true adding more

tea deals he denied goldstein accosted trump which is how many right-wing outlets have spun the incident again just fucking why don't you just put on one of hillary's pantsuits you too and go for a jog around lake fig chef also claimed trump took the disagreement in stride and did not ask for goldstein lasner and their son to be removed she She probably didn't. He's probably too classy. I'm glad Jet Blue. That tells you even more that the guy was being obnoxious, that Jet Blue took it upon themselves, depending on who you believe, to ask the fucking lady in the hat to get off the plane. Anyhow, may you guys perish on your on your next flight that's all i got to say about that me being a right winger that i am and don't get all oh that's anti-fucking gay

homophobe don't i don't want to hear all that shit okay uh i'm in show business i've said it many times got more gay friends than kelly ripper i don't know why i always go to her for that reference but uh who are they mario canton judy gold modi i hope i'm not outing anybody here not that i'm outing judy goals i'm she's six six 272 pounds with a neck on her like a strong safety so i don't think i'm and mario's openly gay he's on you know all those goo gogobbling shows. And my boy, Mody. Mody might be the only one. I don't know if he's out or not, but he is now. But hey, I think Mody's bi.

Mody likes both boys and girls. That's just being greedy, in my opinion. That's just being a big piggy. Are you with me? Are you with me? You can act like a man. What's the matter with me? Are you with me? You can act like a man. What's the matter with you? I'm just looking at the picture of these two motherfuckers.

All proud with their fucking faggy rim glasses and hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm just saying a lot more of those hoaxes are going on you notice these

so-called hate crimes a lot of that shit's on the uptick that turn out to be hoaxes you know the professional victimizers like that scumbag on the Delta flight the kid who said he was speaking Arabic.

I guess he's a prankster. A lot of that shit's popping up. Jonah Goldberg wrote a great article in New York Post saying how when there's an actual terror, when there's an actual incident, you know, where mass people die and we're so quick and the media so quick and the politicians not to jump to conclusions. This was the gist of the article. Don't jump to conclude yet. Yet when it when it's when it's, you know, a an incident that somebody says was, you know, homophobic or that falls under hate crime, which really means the suspect is a white male or a an attack against a Muslim. They can't wait to get that out there on the news it was a great point in the article i thought that jonah made they cannot wait they don't wait to have all the fact they just get it out there hate

crimes are up and like that that muslim girl that pulled them pulled that hoax on the subway saying she was attacked by trump supporters and shit and it was you know his point was that they throw that shit up so quick before they have all the facts in. Yet when there's an attack, an actual attack, oh, let's not jump to conclusions, blah, blah, blah. Jonah Goldberg, if you don't read him,

he's fucking great. He's got a book I read 10 years ago, probably liberal fascism, it's called. Might not have been quite 10 years ago. I can't keep track i mean life is just whipping by him i'm living at a breakneck pace up here in the woods of choochville uh connectpal.com slash nick if you want to subscribe to the show did you uh catch me on oh my god with johnny sack also known as the great Vince Curatola.

Jesus Christ. He said a few things that I can't even approve of. Let me be honest. I'm sitting next to him. He went after Michelle Obama. I almost fell off my goddamn seat. But the last half, we talked about the Sopranos, and I know you guys listening out there.

Most of the fans of mine love the Sopranos like I do. It was so cool to find out how he auditioned and how he got the part and he told a great story about how they had uh the guy that played paulie walnuts tony cerrico they had him read originally for the uncle junior part and uh it was either david chase or one of the producers said we're not going to let you play uncle junior but we like you so much we're going to write something for i don't know who did that but there it was probably David Chase. Fucking genius move because Pauly Walnuts was like the heart and soul of that show. So Tony Sirico immediately gets home and gets on the phone to Dominic Cinisi, who ended up playing Uncle Junior, and says, Hey, I didn't get the fucking pop, but you got the fucking pop.

I just thought that was funny. You can picture Tony Sirico doing that. But it was so great to talk to Vince and all those little stories. And when he auditioned for Johnny Sack, he didn't even want to do it. Originally, he got to the audition late. Even though he was late, he's like, fuck that. I'm going to finish my cigarette. He's outside down on the sidewalk.

And he was shooting something else, like a law and order or whatever the fuck and kind of reluctantly went into the audition the lady goes you're late i'm packing up and then she realized she had like two minutes so she said just read this and um he told the story how when you go out on audition you're sitting in the waiting room some places you can hear the guy that goes in before you or the guys depending how many people in front of you and you can hear their performance which to me is really unprofessional but these little audition places are small sometimes and and uh it's kind of i go out in the hallway i don't want to hear it but uh he he sometimes you stick around you listen to the guys that go in before you and you and you can go oh my the guy's too big the two

he said the there was like eight guys before him and they were all yelling out their lines and he made this great point that when you're a mob boss you don't have to yell you have that power you're like e.f hutton when you fucking talk people listen so he used that when he went into his audition and he just did it real low-key and it like scared the shit out of they. They were like, this guy's fucking great. So they had him back for like an episode, one episode. And then they, you know, liked him so much. But he is not shy, Mr. Vince, when it comes to his politics, which I love.

And he's a funny bastard. I can imagine this guy in his 20s, what a wise ass he was. But he was telling us great stories about his neighbor. He was Jerry Vale's paper boy. All these famous people lived in his uh in his name so if you if you haven't caught it anthony comia's podcast catch it it was really fun we talked politics for an hour and then we uh talked sopranos for an hour basically with a ton of laughs thrown in and vince was just very very quiet i i had uh met him a couple times once in Vegas and then I

remembered me and him did a little thing Steve Schripper who played Bobby Bacala he organized like a stand-up show one of the one of the one of the you know what, theaters off-Broadway. It was pretty big, though. So we wrote out a couple sketches, sketched out a couple sketches, and I did a thing with Johnny Sack. This is when he was at his prime and the Sopranos were peaking. So I'd met him a couple times.

But likable dude. Talented, too. Yeah, we talked politics, and speaking talk politics, and... Speaking of politics, Mr. Obama's not gonna go quietly into the night, is he? I can't help it. I can't help it. He was...

He did, you know what he did? He did David... Is that his name? David Axelrod's podcast. It's called The Axe Factor. You know, like the X Factor. Only Axe, A-X-E, get it? But he has a podcast,

which gives us podcast people some credibility. I mean, that guy got Obama elected in 2008. So, but anyhow, he interviewed the soon-to-be former President Obama. But before I get to that, there was a great article by DeRoy Murdoch, who's a black fellow, by the way. Why is that important? Well, because you don't meet many black conservatives or whatever who write. Anyways, he wrote an article.

It was called Bam Crushed His Party, which seems to be obvious to everybody, even a lot of Democrats. It's obvious to everybody except for Obama himself. But listen to these numbers, and we discussed this on the show. Let's listen to what's happened to the Democratic Party. He says, he writes, Obama concludes his reign of error. His party is smaller, weaker, and rickier than it has been since the 1940s. Behold the tremendous power

the Democrats have frittered away from January of 2009 through the aftermath of this election thanks to Obama and his ideas. And then he goes on to list some of the damage. Democrats surrendered the White House to, obviously, a political neophyte, Donald Trump.

U.S. Senate seats for the Dems slipped from 55 to 46. That's a 16% decline. U.S. House seats fell from 256 to 194. That's 24% down. Democrats ran the Senate and the House in 2009 next year they will control neither governorships slid from 28 to 16 that's down 43 percent state legislatures both chambers plunged from 27 to 14 down 48 percent trifectas that means states with a democratic governance in both legislative chambers,

cratered from 17 to get this, just six, down 65%. Since FDR, eight presidents have served at least two terms or bowed to their vice president due to death or resignation. Among them, Obama ranks eighth in total state legislative seats that his party preserved during his tenure. Obama has supervised the net loss of 959 such Democrat positions, down 23.5% according to Ballotpedia. So if you want to get the numbers, go to Ballotpedia. generated so if you want to get the numbers go to ballotpedia this uh far outpaces the 843 net seats that the republicans yielded under president dwight eisenhower by this measure reagan is number

one while while he was president republicans gained six state house seats in terms of boosting his party's state level strength obama is the worst president since world war ii reagan is the best democrats can chant the soothing lie that is this wholesale multi-level rejection of their parties stems from structural racism the legacy of jim crow the immortal tentacles of slavery whatever other analgesic excuse they can scrounge up the same nation that they claim cannot outgrow its bigotry somehow elected and then re-elected obama quite comfortably blah blah goes on and on but uh obama just just proving every time and we

already said this on the show when when he wasn't on the ballot but his policies were they got smoked and and he's like the emperor with no clothes or the muslim with no hijab what i don't know what the fuck that meant. But listen to. Here's him with David. He came out. I don't even know what I have on this clip here. But he said.

He actually said. If he. If he. If he was running. In this last election. Instead of Hillary. He probably would have won. Because he believes that America.

Still believes in his vision. Yeah. The numbers. Guy just doesn't believe in math and shit. I guess. But. Let's listen to him on the axe factor podcast that's right uh you know i am confident in this vision because i'm confident that if I had run again and articulated it, I think I could have mobilized a majority of the American people to rally behind it. I know that in conversations that I've had with people around the country, even some people who disagree. He reminds me of the mayor in Jaws after like the second shark attack, remember?

And Chef Brody's trying to get him to sign to close the beaches. And he was just like in total denial in the emergency room. And then he finally comes around. The only difference is Obama never comes around. Agreed with me. They would say the vision, the direction that you point towards is the right one who now here's what i who says that your wife and kids what i would say prospectively is that the democratic agenda is better for all working people yes this division that yes i think that proves it the 94 million

people that are out of work right now would agree with you and uh the fact you're the only president to never see see better than three percent growth the only one in the history what the fuck what is he fucking talking about i guess that's why Trump won the Rust Belt and won Pennsylvania. Because the working class stiffs agree with you, Mr. Obama. What the fuck? And you think I'm kidding when I say this? I'm telling you, he smoked a ton of weed at Columbia and elsewhere. Occidental, wherever the fuck he got his.

Anyhow. It's been put out there between white working class versus black working class or latino working class look an agenda of raising minimum wage rebuilding our infrastructure by the way those uh you know those swing states wisconsin and pennsylvania a lot of those states ohio a lot of people who voted for him twice voted for Trump this time. I mean, how much more proof do you goddamn need? They weren't buying your horse shit. What the fuck?

I mean, come on. Education. Education, family leave, community colleges. All shit we can't afford to pay for. Making it easier for unions to organize. Yes. Community organizing. That's an agenda for working class Americans of all stripes. And we have to talk about it.

And we have to be present in every community talking about it. See, I think the issue was less that Democrats have somehow abandoned the white working class. I think that's nonsense. Look, the Affordable Care Act benefits a huge number of Trump voters. And you blew it! You blew it! He's still fucking... Still trying to defend Obamacare. Oh my God. It's more dead than Georgeorge michael at this fucking point

anyhow he decimated the uh democratic party and and and the beauty of it first of all this twofold it's beautiful if you sit on my side of the aisle watching these jerk-offs react like the people yelling at ivanka on the plane and these fake yeah these fake hate crimes and just blaming whatever wanting a recon all the shit that though it's just fucking delicious and the fact they were considering that fucking Ellison guy to be the Dancy chairman you know the hateful Muslim out of Minnesota that congressman and Nancy Pelosi's still in the picture and they're talking about Howard Dean and they want to go further left. Go ahead.

Go ahead. Move the whole party. And like I said, you take out L.A. County. We said this on the last show. If you took out L.A. County out of the election and you took out New York City,

Trump would have won the popular vote by over a million votes. Oh, my God. Help us, oh, Lord. It really is like a religion to them. You know. You gotta admit.

And I keep hearing about all this shit how the Republicans refused to work with Obama right from the get-go. When one of the first thing he did is he convened a meeting with all the heads of Republicans where they go over shit like most presidents do. And his first thing, or the second thing he did is he convened a meeting with all the heads of Republicans where they go over shit like most presidents do.

And his first thing, the second thing out of his mouth was I won. After like Republicans were, you know, putting up their ideas. He goes, I won. Yeah. So he was real open to working with Republicans. So anyhow. Not good. They have no bench like i said they're like the jacksonville jaguars or the new york jets did you see that pounding by the way it's like watching tom brady anally rape 11 men on defense every time he plays the jets it's almost hard to watch

11 men on defense every time he plays the Jets. It's almost hard to watch. And Todd Bowles, you should be gone too. But we know how that works and nobody will do that. Anyhow, any he. Hey, did you hear about the Oregon law professor? A woman, by the way, who wore blackface. She had a party at her house.

This was back in Halloween. Backlloween back in october up in this motherfucker and uh yeah university of oregon law professor so you know right there uh you know damn well she's not a fucking right-leaning she's a law law professor not just a professor a law professor at in oregon university of oregon come on she wore blackface it says to a halloween party what do you mean to it was at her fucking house people can't write anymore is harshly criticizing an investigative report by the university that found she violated the institution's anti-discrimination policies and caused damage to the law school by go by having blackface in her own living room she i have to burp hold on you guys have no idea what's going on my stomach and i'm not going to fill you in excuse me till i know myself

uh just know my last dump looked like a rorschach print done in raspberry red anyhow back to the show that was kind of gross uh in a statement released through a public relations firm thursday nancy shirts that's german for shits said the investigation into her actions that was released by the university of oregon earlier this week was a form of an in quotation supremely public retaliation and amounted to a public shaming good shirts said in the statement that the university's investigation by two portland-based attorneys includes errors and omissions that she tried to correct before it was released that take her actions out of context. She said she's consulting with an attorney. First of all, I'm not even done with the article yet, but really out of context?

Really? Can you imagine if it was a white guy, let's say at Liberty University, who taught law, and they probably don't even have that there, and he had blackface on, who taught law and they probably don't even have that there and he had blackface on and uh you know and he went you're taking it out of context i don't know if there's any context you could wear blackface where it would make you know shine on you favorably no pun intended um in an earlier apology shirt that's the female uh, said she had dressed up as Dr. Damon Tweedy. It's an actual professor. A black psychiatrist, excuse me, who wrote a best-selling memoir called The Black Man in a White Coat. Of course, in this article, it said white coast.

Again, nobody fucking checks this. I'm like, white coast? Which coast would that be because it ain't the west but it's white coat black man in a white coat it was a black author a psychiatrist who wrote a book about his experiences with racism while in medical school. Black man in a white coat. That guy in a little coat. Black man

in a little white coat. White coat. So she dressed up like him at her party. Her costume included black paint on her face and hands, the wig, and a white doctor's coat paired with a stethoscope.

Did you really think that wasn't going to cause shit? Even though I appreciate your balls. The costume was intended to provoke discussion about racism and societal injustices, Schertz said. Well, I think mission accomplished. I love that. She had to put on blackface, black hands and a wig to provoke discussion. How about just maybe going, hey, can I get you guys another little hot dog pig in a blanket?

And we want to talk about Dr. Tweedy's book. How about using that to get the ball rolling? Not dressing up like Sammy Davis Jr.? Oy! The university's investigation found that shirts is right to free expression. This is what gets you blood boiling.

Even though she was in her own home, did not outweigh the university's interest in maintaining a lawful and orderly atmosphere. Okay, she had blackface on in her own home. In my own bedroom. Where my children come to play with their toys. She's in her own home. And yet the fucking college think they have a right. And this is where it's headed, folks. Where my children come to play with their toys. She's in her own home. And yet the fucking college think they have a right.

And this is where it's headed, folks. What the fuck more do you need to know about Big Brother? You're not going to be able to say shit in your own home. She should be able to fucking paint herself black and tap dance and fucking shuck and jive for eight hours straight if she wants in her own home. It is so fucking over especially when it comes to race what a confused faggy little country i love when the libs try to handle the issue of race yeah you blow it, Mrs. Schertz.

But she should be able to do any of that. Listen to this, though. Here's where it gets creepy. It also found the university that some students felt compelled to attend the party because she was their professor. A claim Schertz vehemently denied in her statement, citing her use of an anonymous grading system. Investigators agreed that Schertz did not intend to offend anyone, but said the costume had caused serious damage to race relations and deepened rifts that already existed at the law school. Oh, really? See, now, if I'm her lawyer, I'd go, okay, I want the evidence that it's caused serious damage.

Please define. Show your work, cocksucker. The reaction includes debates on social media, has caused anxiety among minority students at the law school. The report. Hey, can I ask you a question? What doesn't cause anxiety in minority students on any fucking campus? Can I just ask you that? You know?

What doesn't cause anxiety in minority students on any college campus on this fucking planet? You know? It's like asking what drugs should pregnant women take. What? You know what I mean. As a result, some of the kids are skipping classes or altering their study habits, and a few are considering transfers because of a, and this is in quotes, mistrust toward professors and faculty beyond just shirts. Again, more evidence that black people whether it's students people in the streets people in high rises where they just and again not all of them i have to say it i wish i didn't

have to not all of them just 94.6 fm um the open discussions in class have also resulted in racial hostility between students investigated again could you could you give us examples in the article? You fucking guzzler of jizz. 13 students, 3 faculty members, and 2 alumni were at the party at Church's house. Yeah, I can see that. That would damage the very fabric of this country, wouldn't it? But no one approached her about the costume at the party. So once again...

No one approached her about the costume at the party. So once again, I just can't. Can't take it. I can't take it no more. Go to connectpal.com slash Nick to subscribe to the show. If you don't, you're a big girl. You heard me.

Connectpal.com slash Nick. Or just enjoy it for free on itunes on mondays and again if you want to advertise on the show nick at nickdapalo.com and uh yeah i already had a few inquiries a dildo company and a bowling trophy company what here's a good story for you virgin flight that would be virgin uh you know virgin air virgin flight passengers vomit in capital letters after they were served parmesan cheese sandwiches which made the entire aircraft to smell like old socks. Excuse me. Made the whole plane smell like old

socks. They gave out Parmesan cheese fucking sandwiches. A passenger has taken to Facebook to suggest Parmesan sandwiches are probably not the best snacks to serve on a plane. Also, they serve coffee and tea, bread rolls filled with Parmesan, which stunk up the entire five-hour flight. People decided just to get sick because of the smell.

It caused some passengers to puke in their seats, others to race off the plane after landing to vomit on the tarmac. You sure they weren't watching a Pauly Shore movie? Come on, you motherless fuckers. Virgin passengers were left feeling sick. A woman took to Facebook. She says, I love cheese along with the best of us. However, when sitting in an enclosed space with low roof over the length of 40 feet with no open window

and with seating capacity of over 100 passengers, Parmesan cheese was probably not your brightest choice. Well, thank you, Julia fucking child, but what if somebody liked the cheese and didn't throw up? A fan of cheese herself, she proved it by farting. A fan of cheese herself, the woman said, uh a fan of cheese herself the woman said the strong smell of or almost it says ormazon again a typo is anybody watching what anybody does ormazon that would be a p as in parmesan because we all know that the p is right next to the o on

the keyboard don't we sure you do you big-titted goats. Anyhow, the smell became too strong. Okay, you're repeating yourself in the story, you dumb bitch. Move on with it, as Bill O'Reilly would say. Let's advance the story. The lady next to her was throwing up in her sick bag for two hours. She said, I am fortunate enough not to suffer such an affliction, but after hearing her wrenching and burping mixed with lingering, rafting smell of old socks

took every strength of effort not to go out in sympathy with her and there was another passenger literally pushing people out of the way to get off the plane and threw up on the tarmac she said you know a bit of lettuce and tomato would have gone down oh yeah yeah i'm sure people would have been satisfied with that how about this we? We eliminate food completely. How about that? How about bring your own? That's even worse. You ever sit next to somebody and they open a thing of,

I don't know, fucking sausage and peppers or chicken cacciatore that's a week old? You're sitting there trying to finish your fucking pretzels. And it's like a Purdue oven roast that took a dump on your upper lip.

Anyways, no good deagleagles unpunished. They're just trying to feed you fucks. But I had a little scary. They make a good point because I got, I told you guys on one of my first episodes, I got food poisoning years ago. I wrote a bit about it. It's one of my best bits ever.

And on the way to Milwaukee, I ate a, I bought a tuna sandwich at LaGuardia. So I don't know if that was it or not. One of those pre-made ones. And on the way, I was still hungry. I don't know why. JetBlue had chicken cordon bleu. Like an asshole, I eat that too. I'm guessing that was the one.

You know what I mean? That's not something you want to put on a plane either, anyhow, I got to the Holiday Inn in Milwaukee, that's right, that's how they spoil me there, and I was watching the Celtics or some sporting event on TV, sitting in my little room, all of a sudden, all of a sudden, I went to pass gas. I almost drew mud and cut to me running to the bathroom, sitting on the hopper and everything going through me. And as soon as I flushed it, when I stood up, I turned right back around

as I was leaving the bathroom, banged the Yui and started puking power gags like a fire hydrant busted open on 180th Street in Lenox and just went on for the next 24 hours to puke and shit my brains out i told you the whole story the guy that runs the comedy cafe milwaukee big uh samoan guy he brought me popsicles i told you bananas and applesauce it was an old thing that his old samoan thing his grandmother used do. And the pectin and the bananas stops you from shitting yourself.

And you rehydrate with the popsicles and the applesauce has pectin in it and blah, blah, blah. Anyhow, it worked. But it was the only time in my 29-year career I had to cancel a gig while I was on the road. He came to the room. He fucking knew I wasn't kidding. He couldn't believe how pale I was and shit. I'm telling you, though. Something about cheese and airplanes

goes together like fucking ISIS and airplanes. You know what I'm saying, Theus? I think you do. I think you do. Can you imagine people just getting sick? Where's my girlfriend? We need some holiday cheer. Santa, you know what I want for Christmas this year?

What? A big fat cock! In my ass! That was Homer Aberdeen. What? Finally tonight on the Nick DiPaolo podcast that you can listen to on iTunes for free on Mondays or go to connectpal.com slash Nick and subscribe and get two to three more shows a week

for just $3.99 a month. There's a new hallucinogenic plant called Ayahuasca. I'm probably saying that wrong, but who gives a fuck? The people who like it are on drugs and they're not gonna miss pronouncing it uh apparently it's gaining a foothold here in the united states naturally in california where any stupid trend takes place and which is uh soon going to secede i'm hoping from the fucking union uh yeah yes powerful psychedelic brew from the amazon to overcome addiction depression and

psychological trauma ayahuasca the potion prepared and consumed as part of a shamanic ritual shamanic is especially gaining a following in hollycon uh in hollycon in hollywood and silicon valley like i said where most stupid trends take place. I mean, the fucking Kardashians caught on. Thousands are flocking to sample their elixir and swear by its therapeutic properties. Didn't we say this about fucking LSD? Despite warnings from scientists and users

that ayahuasca can be dangerous and even prove fatal, especially mixed with other drugs, you know, like Humira and Lipitor. No, I'm kidding. The other drugs, the real drugs. Ayahuasca proponents, who include celebrities such as Sting, Paul Simon, Tori Amos, and Lindsay Lohan.

Oh, Lindsay Lohan's back on the drugs, so you know it's good. In between Cox, they say the plan offers a spiritual experience like no other many also say it has allowed them to overcome traumas that no other conventional therapy can tackle really many other people have said that were they the people that have a financial interest in this you had titless wonders according to dr uh not a doctor excuse me according to dennis mckenna assistant professor at chuch university university of minnesota center According to Dr. Not a doctor, excuse me. According to Dennis McKenna,

assistant professor at Chooch University, University of Minnesota Center for Spirituality and Healing. I'll repeat that. Assistant professor at the University of Minnesota Center for Spirituality and Healing. What are you going to do to get into that school? Fucking debone a deer with a headdress on? Get out of here!

Some 100 clandestine ayahuasca ceremonies are held nightly in New York, naturally, Dunville, and other cities like L.A. and San Francisco. All three cities

that lead in goo gobbling. You notice? Anyhow. Ayahuasca contains the hallucinogenic drug dimethyltropamidine dmt oh that's the shit that joe rogan was talking about when i was on a show a few years ago that he swears by this shit it's one thing i do like about joey boy he's not afraid to do any of this shit i smoke oh you guys

know my story about eating that little fucking one-eighth of a marijuana brownie about a year ago, and I almost lost my fucking mind. But the DMT shit, I remember Joe talking about, which is illegal in the U.S. and is in the same category as ecstasy and heroin. Two Brazilian churches in Western United States that use the ayahuasca as a sacrament are exempt from the ban. And now everybody's going to be claiming they're doing it for their religion you know firm believers of this horseshit say they drink the foul tasting tea only at intervals of several months and must observe a strict diet before

sampling the brew yeah i'm guessing you don't want to load up on the fucking uh you know the the uh you don't want to load up on the uh pork and beef lasagna and a couple of calzones before you try this shit the ceremonies are often held outdoors of course they are you don't want to ruin your carpet with power gacking and are usually accompanied by meditation spiritual songs called akaros see i couldn't do. I have a shitty voice when I'm high. Users of Ayahuasca describe a sort of out-of-body experience that allows them to confront some of their worst fears. This one person says, I saw pink and violet swallows in green geometric shapes,

recalled Leonard, before they put him in the back of a van as he was shitting himself and they dumped him in the ocean. Such visions, however, are often accompanied by darker ones that are described as terrifying. Yeah, now we're getting to the truth. Users also experience lots of vomiting, described as purging. The purging aspect is very cathartic, says Jeff.

Yeah. So has taking a seven-minute dump. Come on, Jeff, get with it. They consider it an anti-parasitic in the jungle yeah maybe i should try this shit here i am bad mouthing it maybe i should expand my horizons because i don't know what's living in me they still haven't found out the cat scan revealed an outline of a ghost punching me in the fucking liver anyhow let me wrap this up western medicine and psychiatry often struggle in treating substance abusers and alcohol abusers,

but apparently it's worth looking into, says Charles Grob. He's a psychiatrist at Harbor UCLA Medical Center. It sounds like just more fucking, you know what, LSD, doesn't it? Sure it does, which I would never do in a million years. You know who loved his LSD when he was in high school? My buddy Louis C.K. That's what he told me. He said he did it over a hundred times. Let me tell you.

It opened his third eye, right? Didn't hurt that motherfucker. But you know, I'd go nuts if I tried that shit. I went nuts with that fucking edible pot shit this is me after I take a hit of a joint remember

that was me holding on to my wife's bathroom this That was me. Holding on to my wife's bathroom. This psychiatrist, grobe, or professor, whatever the fuck he is. He says, the worst I've had is somebody who was screaming for a couple hours. And he said that was it. They were fine the next day and they came back. You know who that was? It was the... It's a Jets defensive coordinator

against the Pats yesterday. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to And you blew it. You blew it. That is it, kids. I hope you had a great Christmas. Mine was the usual. Up to Connecticut, visited some of the in-laws.

And we left that party, headed up towards the Boston area, found a hotel in my hometown. Because I can't go to that party. Headed up towards the Boston area. Found a hotel in my hometown. Because I can't go to my parents. My mother's like a fucking Navy SEAL. She's up at 5 a.m. doing one-arm push-ups in the fucking kitchen. Psychotic. And, you know, the TV volume is on 11. Because they can't hear.

It's fucking. Anyhow. And then we went to my my niece britney's house with there were 11 babies there six of them had ebola three of them had zika and a couple of them had shits in their pants but no it was actually great he ate uh this and that it's funny i think i'm gonna have to change my lifestyle now with this fucking stomach shit uh anyhow that was it i got the same stuff i i gave my wife her gift you know my buddy said you should get her you know go to the place uh jared's place so i ended up giving her a foot long cheesesteak

anyhow and uh she gave me a willie mays uh rookie card and a canoe paddle and that was it uh i gave her a tit twister and uh she bit me over the right eye and we went to bed that's all that was right all right santa you know what i want for christmas this year what a big fat cock oh in my ass Anyhow, I will talk to you subscribers tomorrow I guess Connectpal.com slash Nick, folks If you want to subscribe to the podcast And again, if you want to advertise Nick at NickDipolo.com

Drop me a note there And we can work something out And what am I forgetting? NickDip.com check out my dates i'll have a special coming out i don't know february march on cso call inflammatory stand-up special i shot at the end of october right as all this uh stomach issues was happening and um that's all i can think of. Anything else? I think that is it.

Ravens choked again against the Steelers. That was quite a game, though. So you can watch that shit. There's some bowl games on today. If you're not gay and you're into that stuff. Or you could go see the ninth version of fucking Star Wars. If they were shooting that in my backyard, I'd tell them to get the fuck out. Because I don't like that nerdy shit.

I enjoy nipples and pizza, like heterosexual fellas. Anyways, I'll talk to you kids soon. Hey, hey, I saved the world today. And everybody's happy now The bad things gone away And everybody's happy now The good things here stay Jesus Hey, hey, I saved the world today

Looking for this happy home guitar solo Outro Music