The Nick DiPaolo Show - 167 - Happy Bloody New Year!

Episode Date: January 3, 2017

Happy Bloody New Year!

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the show is going to run from 8 p.m to 10 p.m tickets are on sale now at comedyseller.com so once again that's 8 p.m on tuesday january 10th at the village underground for the band geek podcast's 100th episode live Happy 2017, everybody. how are you it's the nick topala podcast the free version on itunes monday january 2nd 2017 and uh if you like the show folks you're not a subscriber yet go to connectpal.com slash nick connectpal.com slash nick you can subscribe for $3.99 a month you get two to three more shows a week i treat it like a radio show it's very topical and uh come on it's a buck a week i know you can handle it if you can't i'm really worried about you i gotta be honest connectpal.com slash. If you want to subscribe again, it's three 99 a month and that's a two

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No, excuse me, contactnickdip at yahoo.com. I'll be all right. So what is going on, folks uh how was your new year's eve i sat home with the wife and uh the clock struck midnight we barely she's about eight feet away we just sort of looked at each other i think i blew her a kiss and it went six feet overhead and hit the dog right on the lips it was uh really exciting and then i uh finished my calamari uh yeah i've turned into just we do nothing we are anti-social people and uh you know i promised i'd have sex with her and that and i didn't feel

good stomach was making funny noises and so was my ass so that was that anyways but i had a better new year's eve than mariah care. Did you see that fucking train wreck? Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo. Only a zillion people watching on live TV, and she's in Times Square, and apparently she's having some problems with her earpiece. She couldn't hear the music and all that dog. She has that, she can't hit the notes anymore. Do any of these people sing live anymore, except for Tony Bennett, who's in his late hundreds? These fucking people all lip syncing and shit. I mean, really? Can't you just belt it out live? There was a couple bands after her that did it.

And of course, in a paper today, Big War, she's blaming the people who produced this show saying they sabotaged her. Which, you know what? They probably did. But, you know, you've heard so many things about her. Again, you can't play everything you read, but she's quite the diva. They probably said, fuck her. Let's let's pull the plug in her ear. Watch her get on and flame. Oh, my God, was it painful? It was like, oh, yeah. Well, here's some of it. If you missed it, it was really she you know, she used to hit those dog whistle notes. used to hit those dog whistle notes she used to hit these notes and and and you know dogs all over the country would just curl up in a ball and put their paws over their ears here's her bombing in times square again we don't know whose fault it is she's blaming the production company say they

did it on purpose if you're half the bitch that i hear you are they probably did but uh i could be wrong there hit it we didn't have a check for one. It's going down to 766 after this poor shit. It is what it is. I'm going to kill these motherfuckers when I get off the stage. It is what it is. I'm going to kill these motherfuckers when I get off the stage. Right there, a couple of police dogs went belly up. Now she's asking the audience to sing. Like, what the fuck?

We've been standing here in 11 degree weather for fucking nine hours. Now we get to provide the entertainment? Kiss my ass. What a fucking train wreck. Oh, my God. That was the best note she hit you just horrendous and uh it can be embarrassing the closest i came to something like that i was singing in times queer a couple new years ago dick clark had me up and he was still alive no i was at the montreal comedy festival and i was hosting the nasty show at the and I was hosting the Nasty Show at the old Club Soda. No, it was actually the new one.

Whatever. There were 700 people there. It was sold out. Why? Because I was wearing a Calvin Klein jacket and patent leather shoes and a top hat. And so anyways, they have a live band. I had them bring me out to a Zeppelin communication breakdown, ironically. So I come out, right?

They, Nick DiPa polo 700 people cheering i come out all cocky like robert plant himself taking my time to get to the mic and i grab the mic and the fucking cord falls out like a tiny dick falling out of a giant pussy the cord comes out of the mic okay you can hear a pin drop all that applause this fucking how embarrassing trying to act all cool i'm trying to plug it back in and i'm farsighted so that means i can't see up close i'm trying to plug the mic the cord into the mic can't see it 700 people like just waiting oh my god did that take the stinger and i and my first instincts was one of those motherfuckers set me up, which is, yeah, it could be paranoid.

It could be paranoid thinking, but let's be honest. I don't always keep my opinions to myself, especially when I'm in the green room right before a show. I can get kind of cocky and irritable. I don't know. No proof of it, but that was one of my most embarrassing moments in the history of my career. But anyways, Mariah Carey, I don't know what to tell you.

You can't believe everything you read, but when you keep reading what bitches certain celebrities are and you hear it over and over year after year, I tend to sort of believe it. What would the production company, Dick Clark's company, have? How would they benefit from having her fucking bomb? Her people think they did it because it makes the ratings higher. I don't think that's how it works. I mean, come on. You could have had a tremendous band like Nickelback come out there,

and they could have lip-synced some shit and got it right. But anyhow, I enjoyed it. I think she's a... Who cares? I mean, you can't hit the high notes. You got a big ass. Nick, that's objectifying. Exactly.

So me. So that was the highlight of New Year's Eve for me. Belly laughing at that fucking train wreck. It was like watching the Hindenburg. Oh, no, the humanity. Down in goddamn flames like you read about in Flames Weekly. So it wasn't, it was just kind of a a downer and then how about poor turkey istanbul that nightclub uh just just unbelievable fucking jerk offs at it again um terror isis whoever you want to you know

people can't even celebrate the celebrating new year's eve at a beautiful upscale club that i guess american celebrities visit athletes soccer play it's well known and then this fucking jerk off comes in that's how we're gonna start 2017 seriously what is to be done man what is to be done 39 people killed probably more since i started the show because there were a couple of them that were you know fighting for their lives most of them foreign nationals not all from turkey and uh just fucking horrible. From numbers of countries. Five of them were Saudis.

Three from Jordan. Three Iraqis. Three Lebanese. Two Tunisians. Two Indians and Israeli. A guy from Delaware, I think, got wounded in the leg. Belgian, Turkish, dual nationals. French, Tunisian, dual national.

A Libyan. Three Moroccans. 70 others injured. And just what are we going to do about this? What the fuck are we going to do about it? It's not as easy as Trump saying because, you know, it's not a it's not they don't have a uniform on. OK, it's not a fucking army. It's not a, it's not a, it's, I don't know what the, other than to put pressure on us, so-called allies,

the Saudis. And, you know, there's madrasas over here that teach kids terror in schools and to hate Jews and stuff. How about starting to squeeze them and saying, you better take care of the shit or we're going to fucking nuke you. I know that sounds kind of simple. It's very Trumpish actually,

but I'm just saying, I mean, mean, just imagine the pain people feel tonight. This is how we ring in the new year? Turkey has been taken and beating. But the club was the Rain and Night Club on the Bosphorus River. People were jumping in the fucking river into the freezing waters. And this scumbag just shows up kills the doorman out front and another uh just some civilian standing there but uh you know turkeys they're battling isis curtis militants back in june they get attacked

at the airport 44 people were killed remember that that's what it's happened so often now that we don't even we ingest it for the week and then we just forget about it uh it's it's crazy then there was a wedding 54 people were killed um in august it really is though we got to get to the root of it the fucking middle what is wrong with that part of the world these fucking isis cocksuckers it's they want to take us back to 12 a.d and yet they use like high-tech shit to it's just fucking turkey's fighting with uh on a daily basis with kurdistan workers party that's pkk militants they're in the southeastern part of turkey um these poor bastards are taking it on the chain you know why they attack the nightclub because it's it's people

that's you know it's west it's a western way of life living it up high in the hog at a beautiful restaurant shit and and these these these jerk offs can't keep up that's what it's really about don't don't fucking believe anything else but really they just can't keep up and this is what they do hey yeah december 17th of last year car bomb exploded killing 13 soldiers in uh in turkey and central province of kayseri. Three days later, a government assassinated Russia's ambassador to Turkey. Remember, at the art gallery? That was just a couple weeks ago. I mean, a fuck enough is enough.

You know? Just horrible. Of course, the shooter yelled, Allah Akbar. God is great. Is that the whole point of just killing innocent people is that we because we got the message we know god is great you got a funny way of showing it and i don't know what fucking god you're praying to but oh yeah psychotics but seriously

we get we got to put the pressure on on the saudisis and so-called allies over there. They got to start doing something about it. How much money are they spending fighting terror? I don't know. It's just, anyhow. You know, I'd like to do a fucking Monday show. It seems like all this shit always happens. You know, I'd like to start the new year on a fucking upbeat note. But what can I tell you?

Well, hopefully Donald J. Trump. And again, if you people are pissing and moaning, you had too many military guys in his cabinet. Now, how do you feel? As opposed to Obama and his surrounded by girls in their late 20s telling him how to fucking run. By the way,erie jarrett said uh he's she's the the obama's had a scandal free uh eight years yeah no i'm not making that shit up she actually said that a scandal free eight fucking years

uh honest to god mental illness so uh speaking of donald j trump So speaking of Donald J. Trump. This made me laugh. He threw a guy off a golf course. His golf course in Florida. Harry Hurt III, who wrote a biography back in 93 called Lost Tycoon. The many lives of Donald J. Trump. He tried to golf with a couple of other fucking rich dudes. And Trump ran into him on the golf course.

And I guess they had some words. So Trump gave him the heave ho. And then he went up on Facebook and posted that he had come to Trump at the National Golf Club in West Palm Beach to play with billionaire David Koch and two other golfers. That's one of the Koch brothers that the left hates so much. I said, this is Harry Hurt's side of the story. I said, congratulations, sir, and shook Trump's hand. Trump said, you were rough on me, Harry, really rough. Hurt claimed he looked Trump in the eyes and said, it's all true, what I wrote. And Trump countered, not in the way you wrote it.

One of the revelations in Hurt's book was Ivana Trump's allegation that Trump had raped her during the divorce battle. Hurt said Trump's security detail escorted him, Coke, and their playing partners off the course and into the parking lot. And into the parking lot, David was appalled. Posted Hurt, who went on to say they ended up playing at Emerald Dunes, which is a much, much better golf course than Trump's. That sounds like Trump himself. I think we have audio of the confrontation, don't we? You have worn out your welcome at Bushwood, sir.

Is that so? Who made you pope of this dump, huh? Bushwood? A dump? Well, I'll guarantee you'll never be a member here member are you kidding you think i'd join his crummy snobatorium but his whole place sucks i reversed the roles as you know on this show many times and it's one of my most brilliant observations i think i said donald j trump who again i voted for it didn't vote from the primaries uh i said he was uh rodney dangerfield his character in caddyshack a billionaire real estate mogul who's a little rough around the edges shall we say only in this clip i just played you i reversed the roles he was playing judge Smales, played by the brilliant late great Ted Knight. But so he tossed.

So now let me give you my take on this. OK, and that would seem kind of petty and shit. But if a guy did write a book and and put in there that because Ivana Trump. Recanted those statements about him raping her while they're going through divorce. So if I was Trump, I would have fucking tossed him too. I know it seems a little maybe petulant and petty and shit, but if he's, you know, accusing you of raping your ex-wife, and she's since recanted, I believe,

then get the fuck, you get a lot of balls going to his golf course after writing a book like that. That's what I think. And because he owns it, he can fucking do what he wants. And I got to believe I would have handled it the same way. Oh, Nick, what are you? No, I'm not. I'm not. It's about time people stand up to this horse shit.

That doesn't mean I'm in favor of him suing people that write true stuff about him in publications and stuff, whatever. But I just kind of belly laughed every time i every time i hear trump in golf course i can't help but go to danger rodney dangerfield's character in caddyshack but uh speaking of the president-elect trump he's still tweeting away and the press is shitting their little pants they can't believe what you're not going to go through us and let us twist your fucking words and put our left wing slant on it. How dare you? You blonde head,

blue eyed fucking devil. Yo, I'll fucking dare you. They're shitting their pants. They can't fucking believe it. But I love it because, uh, I watched the Sunday morning shows to see.

And oh, God, they're just as fucking left wing as ever. Sean Spicer, he's Trump's official spokesman now. And he was on with Jonathan Karl, left wing hack who sits in for George Stephanopoulos on ABC's This Week. And Sean Spicer was on there. And you can tell that Trump's had taken a different tone. And there's definitely a new sheriff in town because Jonathan Karl kept pushing him to say,

so has Mr. Trump finally admitted that the Russians that, you know, hacked and affected the election? You know, he kept pushing that line. And in the past, spokesmen for Republicans, whether it was George W. Bush or Bush Sr. or fucking Reagan,

would sit there and take it in the ass on national TV and not push back. But Sean Spicer wasn't having any of it. Now I just remembered who he reminds me of, the Sean Spicer guy. Again, Sopranos reference. Do you remember the private dick that Tony, the dirty cop that Tony had following Judge Melfi when she was dating some guy? What's the fucking actor's name?

Hurd. Jonathan, John Hurd. Anyways, he was a dirty cop on the Sopranos. Tony used to pay him to follow uh to see what dr melfi did on a private time and shit and yeah that's he had the same kind of whiny attitude this sean's but this sean spicer guy was wasn't having any of jonathan carl's shit he was pushing back and it was so fucking refreshing so here's jonathan carl asking him for like the eighth time whether trump is going to

admit that the russians affected whatever or you know did indeed do the hacking and and um it was fun to hear uh sean spice a pushback and actually fucking go hey i'm not done yet a couple times during the interview does he accept that russia was behind this well i think like i said he has to have the briefing from the from the intelligence week. So he's still not there yet? It's not a question of not there yet, Jonathan. It's a question of getting the information. Everyone in the media wants to jump forward and make a conclusion. He's still not there yet. You hear Jonathan Kyle pushing the left-wing horseshit narrative? He's still not there yet. He hasn't arrived to the conclusions that us people at ABC and the mainstream media have already arrived to.

He hasn't arrived there yet, huh? But we'll keep pushing him. You wonder why this guy wants to tweet and go around, you cocksuckers. Oh, easy. ...based off other sourced information, you know, anonymous sources that are coming out of the Intelligence Committee. He's going to do this right. This is no longer anonymous. This is a public statement.

What this says is that the DNC had a problem with their IT security and people tried to hack it and they need to do a better job of protecting it. But Russians succeeded in hacking it. But we're having part of a conversation. Do you hear, Jonathan? The Russians, I don't care what you say, the Russians. And he doesn't want to admit that the fucking DNC, I mean, it was unbelievable how careless they were with their fucking,

with their emails and their server and shit, like high school shit. Why aren't we talking about the other influences on the election? Why aren't we talking about Hillary Clinton get debate questions ahead of time? That's a pretty valid attempt to influence an election. Somebody giving her to the debate questions and the answers of an election. No, no, no. It's not hey. We haven't asked him those questions.

Do you hear that? He goes, hey, it's not hey. I fucking love it. When's the last time you heard any pushback against these douchebags goes hey it's not hey i fucking love it when's the last time you heard any pushback against these douchebags and it's true they covered the dawn of brazil by the way who was on uh who was being interviewed uh on this show or was it meet the press no on this show i think later on she's still being interviewed like she has credibility she had the fucking she was working hand in hand with CNN to fuck over Bernie.

Yet I guess because she's an older black woman, we have to give her a break after all. Right. So she shouldn't be accountable for her actions. Can you imagine if one of the Trump fucking guys was caught giving questions from Fox News to to Trump? I want to talk aboutiebus before the debates. Can you imagine? They'd still be screaming about it. Yeah, Donald Brazile's back on TV this Sunday. Again, it's fucking laughable.

And he's right. They talked about that for like a minute and swept it under the rug. This guy, I love that he was busting balls. Listen to more. And the fact is, is that everyone wants to talk and make Donald Trump admit to certain things. When are we going to start talking about the other side of this? Which is what did Hillary Clinton do to influence the election?

Is she being punished in any way? What are we doing to make sure that people don't get the debate questions ahead of time? I'm not sure what this music is. It was on the clip I pulled. He would have been driven out of this town by mistake and Donald Trump would have been vilified. No one wants to ask those questions now. Who was on the clip I pulled. Chuck Todd's doing Meet the Press with a live band behind him. Sort of like, you know, Jimmy Fallon does. Kind of a slow rift on the nose. That was during the Democratic primary.

It was not in the debates with Donald Trump. Let me move on. So it makes it better? No no i'm just just want to be clear what we're talking about you're going back to the primary no no i'm sorry that did you hear what jonathan called you going back to the primaries like that's not relevant they fucking are getting their asses handed to him i loved it and this guy jumped all over him sean spicer going back because that's who ultimately ended up the democratic nominee so you can can't sort of say, let's go back only part way. The fact of the matter is Bernie Sanders gave her a heck of a run. If he had actually not had the same information, maybe he could have done.

Maybe not. But you can't have a part of a conversation. I think we have to look at this holistic. Yeah, you do. I agree with that a thousand percent. And it was refreshing to me to see somebody go, hey, hey, drop the fucking left wing bullshit narrative. It was very refreshing. And then you had the live band behind.

Go get him, Sean Spicer. I hope they can keep it up. I heard Gingrich saying that he hopes that, you know, once Trump's in office, that his administration doesn't lose their nerve. And that's a legitimate concern when you have, like, Paul Ryan and these other two-faced fucks. Mitch McConnell. Mitch McConnell. I lift my chin in the men's room. Anybody? I can't swallow food because I don't have a jawbone. I put the food right in my... My fucking... look at my eyes

look like a giant retarded owl it's true i hope trump uh they're gonna butt heads they're gonna butt heads but i i i tell you i it was fucking i was loving it seeing this guy telling jonathan to fucking shut the fuck up let me talk Quit putting your douchey spin on everything. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, hey. Oh, oh. Why am I doing that? Because I just remembered

there's some great bowl games on today that I'm not watching. Boy, have they fucked up that too. It used to be all bowl games are on New Year's Day. Now we have the playoff system. By the way, Ohio State got embarrassed by Clemson.

That was embarrassing, Ohio State. You Buckeyes, I told you, although you did beat Alabama a couple years ago in the first championship, but Clemson is going to go against Alabama, who look pretty good against Washington. Give that coach,

why am I talking sports right now? Because I feel like it. It's my show. Get off my nipples. That coach, why am I talking sports right now? Because I feel like it. It's my show. Get off my nipples. That coach, Chris Peterson, at Washington, he was at Boise State for about a thousand years.

And they were just unbeatable, Boise State almost, when he was there. Give him a few years and he'll be like Alabama. That's my prediction. But good luck beating Alabama. Jesus Christ, are they good.

But so is Clemson. It should be a war. By the way, they played last year for the national championship. And Clemson definitely has to be happy that they're going to try to get some revenge. Don't miss that one on January 9th. Unless you're watching soccer like a big fag. What? You heard me.

Excuse me. Trying to burp it. All right, back to the show. What do we get coming up next? Oh, A&E and the KKK get together to do a little... Catchy little tone if you've done three bags of meth and had a pot of fucking Starbucks. I'm going to watch my country.

I'm gonna watch my country. Going on the train. We are all at fault now. We are all to blame. We're letting them take over. We just let them come. Once we had an empire. And now we've got a slum.

Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Come on, kill them. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. Wipe out. uh any rumor any truth to the rumor that trump will be having a screwdriver play at his inauguration

since nobody else wants to and i'm not saying that as a jab to trump i'm just saying what whiny leftist cocks even the rockettes shut your. Put your legs up in the air so we can all see your gashes and forget about your politics. Okay. Some couple of Rockettes. They can't do it. They'll be like dancing for Hitler. Yeah, well, show Hitler your bug. All right.

Fucking shut your mouths. Okay. You're dancers. It's like low. It's like Jennifer Lopez wanging on politics. You're paid to put on your short, dirty little skirt and lift your dirty legs. Okay? Back to the show.

Well, that's kind of sexist and objectifying. Exactly. I'm fighting back against the Nazi feminist fucking regime. And I'll say it again. The heart of political correctness that is tearing this country apart. You know who's at the heart of it? The feminist movement. Yes.

Yes. Yes. I'll say it again. Any know who's at the heart of it? The feminist movement. Yes, yes, yes. I'll say it again. Anyhow, did you read about the fucking... A&E was going to do a show, you know, with the KKK. And apparently it's going to get squashed, depending on who you believe,

because the KKK says, look, they scripted it. It wasn't fucking, it was supposed to be sort of like documentary style or reality style, I should say. And they paid us to say shit. They were interviewing one of the KKK guys, and he used the word black people. And they said, no, the producers, because we want them to say nigger, which I believe a thousand percent. It's some production company out of Venice Beach. They're stuck back in the 50s. You can't get any far left, literally and figuratively, far out of Venice Beach. They're stuck back in the 50s.

You can't get any far left, literally and figuratively, far left in Venice Beach. And the subjects of a TV documentary series about the Ku Klux Klan abruptly canceled last week by A&E, alleged to Variety magazine that significant portions of what was filmed was fabricated by the producers. Yeah, that's how fucking, it's so i it's hilarious it's called reality tv when i tell you there's more real moments in the big bang theory or any script of sitcom than there is on any reality show trust me some kkk leaders divulge that they were paid hundreds of dollars in cash each day of filming to compel them on camera to distort the facts of their lives to fit the documentary's predetermined narrative what that narrative was was they wanted to do a show where there was tension between clan members and relatives of theirs who wanted to get out of the clan

that was the the the big storyline and uh don't doesn't it tell you right there when the production company comes to you and they have a storyline already didn't i tell you that it says nothing real about it yeah it was originally scheduled to air on january 10th it was going to be called escaping the kkk a documentary series exposing hate in america and again uh the clan i think uh there's i think 11 of them left in the whole country and that to people in venice beach and california and hollywood it's white hate meanwhile black lives matter is chanting to have cops assassinated and they were successful but let's not do a fucking real show there right the kkk leaders who were interviewed by variety uh detailed how they were wooed with promises

the program would capture the truth about life in the organization. In the organization. It would be, yes. And they were given cash. They were told they were encouraged not to file taxes on cash payments for agreeing to participate in the filming. They were presented with pre-scripted fictional story scenarios. Instructed what to say on camera.

They were asked to misrepresent their actual identities, motivations, and relationships with others, and reenacted camera shoots

repeatedly until the production company was satisfied. How about this? I mean, and do you know why this is, folks? Do you know why

they're trying to make a reality series about, you know, the KKK? Do you know why they have to do that? That's how little white racism is left. Okay? We see these hoaxes all the time. They actually have to create. Talk about fake news.

I know this doesn't come under the category of news. It's even worse. It'll be a fucking 10- part series spreading fucking horseshit yes the clan like i said yeah they still exist and they're fucking hillbillies and and racist uh but not to the extent that you would believe uh you know people on the left would say so they're uh really not a force anymore how about this and and and and production companies like this doing this prove that that you know they have to create it the production team even paid for material listen to this and equipment to construct and burn wooden crosses and nazi swastikas oh my fucking word yeah billy can you can you have jimmy uh one of

the fucking grip guys run down to home depot get some plywood and some diesel fuel and some burlap because the kk guys don't even have the shit in the garage but we know it's one of their favorite pastimes and i guess the series is it was based around this guy richard nichols who's one of the featured subjects of the documentary series uh as the grand dragon of a kkk kkk cell known as tennessee white knights that should be a name of a football team uh of the invisible empire he's so invisible that they have to make shit up and put him on a and e he also said he was encouraged by a producer to use the epithet nigger in interviews. A&E had already made the decision to cancel this documentary series based on recently discovered payment practices of the producers in the field.

And we are conducting a full independent investigation into the production. Yeah, sure you are. full independent investigation into the production yeah sure you are production company t-i-j-a-t also issued a statement in response to uh the allegations which suggested participants are being intimidated into tarnishing the show we have been told that participants in this series have received threats and coerced into speaking out against the authenticity of the show. Well, okay. Bring that evidence forward so we can believe you.

The production company is currently negotiating with A&E to get the rights back to Escaping the KKK with the intent of shopping it to another network. shopping it to another network. Producers told KKK leaders who participated in the documentary prior to the cancellation that a second season was being discussed with the network. Unbelievable. Absolute fucking horseshit.

It's again, you talk about fake news, this is a whole fake series if it makes it to air. And again, not saying the shit doesn't exist, but not to this extent you have to pay you have to pay clan members to be more racist and i happen to believe that the purported quality of the program originally known as generation kkk

helped draw the support of organizations such as the Anti-Defamation League and Color of Change, which A&E publicized. But that didn't keep Generation KKK from being accused on social media of providing a platform for a hate group. The social media fucking idiots can't even get this right. The network subsequently retitled the series. A decision Chernow explained to Variety on December 23rd reflected its standing as a pure documentary. But the very next day, escaping the KKK was suddenly canceled. As its December 24th announcement revealed, the cable network made the surprise move after being made aware of payments made by the production company

to Klan members. Contrary to assurances the company said were made to advocacy organizations that supported this series and the public. Aye, aye, aye. I guess the guy from the production company had like a blue pouch with cash in it and he'd just hand like a couple hundred dollars out after each episode.

Shit. Imagine when Klan members are waiting there for their residual checks and shit. A&E learned last night from the third-party producers who made the documentary that cash payments,

which we currently understand to be nominal, were made in the field to some participants in order to facilitate access. The cancellation occurred less than 24 hours after this reporter

contacted several producers at T-I-J-A-T with allegations contained in the story the same producers according to multiple kkk members who participated in the documentary subsequently warned them not to speak to this reporter if contacted anyways it goes on and on but the point that you should take from the goddamn story is that um this is what they have to do it's it's it's the equivalent of you know um like the black professor at columbia a few years ago hanging a noose on her own door and and then we have the muslim girl on the subway in new york accusing be attacked by trump supporters

which was all fucking baloney once again it's the left and the media in cahoots to paint whitey as the fucking bear and yes the Klan but they're useless is the point fucking hillbillies don't have any juice the Nichols guy said they kept asking me wanting me to use the word nigger said nickels who alleged he was paid six hundred dollars per day by producers to participate i was sitting down being filmed and interviewed with uh lights and backdrops set up i said something and used the word black and used the word blacks and the producer interrupted me and said, no, no, no, no, we want him to use the word nigger.

Ah, there you go. Un-fucking-believable. Then they had a whole fake, they had a whole fake, like I said, a plot when Nichols, his storyline was supposed to be his efforts to recruit a young man named Cody Hutt into the KKK, but Hutt made it clear to producers he was never seriously considering joining the KKK.

And I guess Hutt brings in anti-8 hacktivist Brian Widener to Nichols' home to help convince Nichols to leave Hutt alone. So this reminds me of American History X. Remember that movie with Norton? With Norton? And Elliot Gould shows up at the house as his mother's date. And remember, he can't believe the hate he's hearing. They can't even be an original when they're fucking staging something.

They have to rip off previous movies. A&E's payment policies for unscripted series have already created other problems for the network, meaning A&E. Citing escaping the KK earlier this year, this week, an attorney representing the Church of Scientology accused A&E of hypocrisy by alleging that two of three participants in the docuseries, you know, Leah Remini's Scientology and the Aftermath, were paid to appear on camera. The network hasn't responded to the church's charges. Oh, they're such sleazy motherfuckers. It's such a sleazy business.

Not like the podcast industry where you can make $11 a month. And, you know. But again, folks, you talk about fake news how about fake tv series and this is falls under the to me this falls under the label of uh left-wing propaganda you know we can't find any real cases of uh white hate there's a few here and there but not enough to prove our narrative that the white man has to go. So let's do a series. Sure. White power

today. Isn't that horrible? Speaking of fake news, there's a Washington Post reporter, Eric Wimple. Well, he's vindicated Breitbart, you know, the website Breitbart, you know, the website Breitbart, after publishing unverified claim. Washington Post writer Eric Wemple has updated his fake news story.

Again, we keep talking fake news, and all the evidence we have so far early in 2017, it's always coming from the left, depending on who you believe. But Facebook is going to handle that. They'll decide what's real and what's not. Or let the people on Facebook decide. Did you hear that? That's what Facebook's going to do now, have the zillions of people that use it, let them flag what they think is false news. It's getting pretty fucking weird out there, folks.

Anyways, this Washington Post writer, Eric Wemple, updated his fake news story to indicate Breitbart News was not the source of a false food stamps fraud report made on air by Fox & Friends co-host, Ebi Huntsman. Ah, boy. So he was

accusing Breitbart of putting fake news out there the actual story is uh breitbart notes correctly that its recent story on food stamps didn't address fraud reads an updated version of wemple's post article you You'll recall Huntsman, that's a woman, I guess, on Fox & Friends, corrected an earlier report in which she said that $70 million were wasted on food stamp fraud. Huntsman's on-air correction was purportedly demanded by a USDA spokesperson who had implied that Breitbart News was the source for the fake food stamp fraud figure.

We are not quite sure where this came from, the USDA spokesman said, according to Wemple. We saw that there was a story on Breitbart. Jesus. Sure, there was a food stamp story on Breitbart News, but about the growth in overall food stamp use during President Barack Obama's two terms. But that article never mentioned fraud in the food stamps program.

Wimple failed to make that clear. And what did he do? Of course, he goes on his Facebook, excuse me, on his Twitter account. He has 22,000 followers, so not exactly a heavy hitter. But he published the Fact Challenge article, which included an unconfirmed rumor from a government agency to attack Breitbart. He tweeted that on his Twitter account.

You know, and it turns out Breitbart never said that on their site, that there was fraud involved. And it turns out Breitbart never said that on their site, that there was fraud involved. And now he's correcting the story. But not till, like I said, he threw it up there before he had all the fucking facts in. He's lying. He sure is. I am not. You are so, you big.

He's lying. I am not. You are so, you big. He's lying. I am not. You are so, you big... He's lying. I am not. You are so, you big... After publishing his fact-challenged article, which included an unconfirmed rumor from a government agency to attack Breitbart, Wemple tweeted the article to 22,000 of his followers.

Updated to note that the Breitbart piece did not address food stamp fraud. An editor's note reads, piece did not address food stamp fraud. An editor's note reads, Many of the left-wing journalists who bashed Breitbart for spreading fake news have deleted their tweets with just a few admitting their fault.

Well, of course. Fucking idiots. Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy. They're in a panic. They're in, you wonder why. You wonder why

Trump is using fucking Twitter. This is interesting. An attack on free speech. A court-chill speech. Did you guys hear about this? DC Court of Appeals, speech did you guys hear about this um dc court of appeals a court ruled that penn state climatologist michael mann's defamation suit against national review and the competitive enterprise institute can go to trial man's suit claims here's what happened this guy's a climatologist and he put some information up um well here's what the suit's about man who's a climatologist suit claims bloggers mark stein

i think it says blogger marks is that the mark stein that fills in for rush limbaugh probably on a national review site and r Rand Simberg on Competitive Enterprise Institute defamed him when they slammed his global warming research, particularly his famous hockey stick graph. I remember that. An illustration that showed how the temperatures have recently surged. Simberg accuses Mann of having molested and tortured the data, much as disgraced Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky molested and tortured the data, much as disgraced Penn State coach Jerry Sandusky molested kids.

Stein quotes Simberg, calls the hockey stick fraudulent, and likens man's methodology to a circus. Okay, that's all they put. They're saying he was full of shit with his global warming research, and this guy's gonna sue him, even though that's just their fucking opinions,

and the last time I checked you can have an opinion on that and of course the D.C. appeals court said no no no no not so fast you know the first amendment express you know it protects you from shit like this it's getting fucking creepy

um and the court's opinion and let's see who the From shit like this. It's getting fucking creepy. In the court's opinion, and let's see who the court, Senior Judge Vanessa Ruiz, oh, there you go. There you go. Ay, ay, ay. She supplied, she says, she writes that man, and that's the climatologist,

supplied sufficient evidence for a jury to find the blogger's statement false. But that's based on the opinions of experts, in quotes, including Penn State. What makes her think, the article asks, what makes her think that they got it right, or more important, that they can't be challenged? Exactly. Jesus Christ, this is coming from a sitting judge. It is over.

We are rotten at the fucking core. Trump, you better pick the most right-wing fucking judges you can find. But then a law professor named Jonathan Adler noted, the court placed tremendous weight on the fact that Penn State and other institutions investigated Mann and did not find evidence of academic misconduct. But he added, it is the alleged inadequacy of Penn State's investigation that was the focus of the very post at issue.

Besides, challenges to scientific conclusions and interpretations of scientific studies are clearly protected by the First Amendment, even if they're wrong. Exactly. What, now you can't question fucking scientists or people who believe in their fucking data without being taken to court. I mean, what the fuck is going on? Seriously. Seriously. As the editors at National Review wrote, there's a reason that a broad coalition of groups, including, get this, the ACLU, the Washington Post, hardly two right-leaning publications, the Cato Institute

and the Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press filed briefs in support of National Review in this case. Let me repeat that. I know I'm getting in the weeds a little bit here, but National Review is a conservative publication, okay, and you got the ACLU, you can't get any further left than them, or even the Washington Post defending fucking National Review, which tells you this judge

had her fucking head up her coulou. Those groups that were supported in National Review feared that letting the case go forward would prompt a profound chill on expression of opinion about important scientific and public policy issues no shit the first amendment national review notes is designed specifically to safeguard the right to express caustic criticism of scientific theories that purport to resolve hot-button political controversies on matters as sweepingly consequential as the extent and cause of global warming. Fucking, you can be a retard and know that.

So I hope this judge gets a real fucking spanking. I hope she does. Somebody ought to powder her ass. Do you remember when the left was going as far as global warming? Oh, that's settled science. Remember when they decided when it was over? People just laughed in their fucking faces. Meanwhile, what was the temperatures in Alaska this weekend?

Minus 60, 70, have been all month. And the United States, one of the coldest Decembers ever. Fucking. But, yeah. Can you imagine? You know, that's settled science. And if you question it, we're going to take you to court. What the fuck kind of fucking left-wing wet dream are we living in here?

Goodness gracious, Heloise. what the fuck kind of fucking left-wing wet dream are we living in here goodness gracious heloise what the fuck kick her off the bench she's not uh that's an affirmative action gutter there anyways how can you say that nick i don't know it was very easy the more i read this shit let's attack the first amendment good idea how the fuck did she become a judge in the first place it's not like her her thinking that type of thinking just happened overnight you know i mean let's lighten up shall we uh what else you got going on the uh oh Oh. There's an app called the Kissinger. It simulates kissing your long-distance lover. Do you see this thing?

Anthony Weiner must be at the fucking store right now. Long-distance relationships are difficult because not only is your lover completely removed from your day-to-day life, but you have absolutely zero possibility of tangible physical intimacy. So, that happens in prison, too. Don't be a big puss.

This is sad. So, some stupid company, image engineering lab at City University in London, thinks they solved the problem. They came up with an app. The Kissinger pairs with a messaging app that lets a user send a kiss. We lost our minds. So when one is sent, the Kissinger measures pressure on different parts of the sender's lips to replicate that exact kiss on the recipient's Kissinger. There's a picture of a girl kissing her cell phone.

That's sanitary, huh? I keep mine about an inch from my ass crack, which I unleash nerve gas at least four times an hour the lip part of the device is made of silicone I don't think it would feel as nice as a regular kiss but hey who knows I know you dumb fuck

maybe a cold silicone device pushing against your lips would feel good if you knew it came from a loving place. Oh, my God. Literally kissing. Do you see how this works? You understand, right?

Of course, everybody's like, okay, where's the pussy one? Never mind the lips one. Are you going to make a pussy app? I can put my dick. You know, Anthony Weiner, when you love, I hope they come out with a vagina one. And Anthony Weiner Has his little cock Pressed against his Samsung Galaxy

And it blows See him rush See him rush Into a New York hospital When third degree burns On his fucking Pedophile pecker Allegedly

Yeah Are we that hard up? So if I'm on the road I can kiss my My, my wife can use a, and send me a, and you know what I'd do? She'd send me a kiss over the thing and it would come to my cell phone and I'd put it against, I don't know, some prostitute in my room slips. And that way I'm having sort of a threesome. It's a joke, folks.

I don't fuck prostitutes. I've never paid for it in my life. Well, it's not true either. I was young. He was a handsome guy with a nice pair of cutoffs. It was a public pool and what are you going to do? I miss Prince, don't you? Listen to this motherfucker.

Guy was as funky as they come. I think that's enough for today. Don't you? I do. Again, welcome back, Blue Apron. And, uh... Like I said, if you like the show, folks, and you want to subscribe to the show and get more, two to three more shows a week, go to connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. And you can hear the free show on riotcast.com, Stitcher, iTunes.

Obviously, it's where you're listening to it now. Obviously, it's we listening to it now. And if you're interested in advertising on the show, like Blue Apron does, go to contactnickdipatyahoo.com and we can talk. What do you say? Have I covered it all? And go to nickdip.com for all my tour dates.

I'm going to be in Rhode Island, The Comedy Connection, a week from this Thursday. And then weekend after that, Bananas in Hasbro Heights in New Jersey. And I think I've got everything. Have I got it all, folks? I think I have.

A happy 2017. And let's hope, like the shit that went on in Turkey, we don't see... I mean, I know I'm being unrealistic here, but let's hope some of the new leadership in the White House will have the balls to figure something out. And like I said, we have to put pressure on certain countries over there or tell them the fucking jig's up. Are you with me?

Tomorrow, I'll cover some. We got a good story on the Minnesota football coach standing up for 10 of his players against Title IX. Again, that's the feminist propaganda shit that where you can accuse a guy of rape on campus and nine out of times get away with it, even if he's cleared. We're going to talk about that. Talk about a shooting in a Waffle House where a waitress pulled out a gun to defend herself. And apparently that's the wrong thing to do here in 2017 in the United States of America. All right. I'll talk to you soon, kids.

Hey, hey, I saved the world today. And everybody's happy now the bad things gone away. Hello, I'm Bob. Hello, I'm Bob. Hello, I'm born! Hello, I'm born! Hello, I'm born! Hello, I saved the world today. The double party's happening on the ballot. guitar solo guitar solo