The Nick DiPaolo Show - 173 - MSM is the Enemy! More Milo!

Episode Date: February 21, 2017

MSM is the Enemy! More Milo!...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, riotcast.com. well how are you folks happy president's day the nick topala podcast itunes version riotcast.com version stitcher etc for free if you like the show go to connectpal.com slash Nick, connectpal.com slash Nick to get two to three more shows per week for $3.99 a month. You can't beat it, folks. You can't beat it. This episode of the Nick DiPaolo podcast brought to you by Blue Apron. Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country, folks. Blue Apronons mission is to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone they uh they've established partnerships
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Starting point is 00:02:59 They do a great job. That's blueapron.com slash nickd. Blue Apron, a better way to cook and it really is how are you folks you know what today is today is a president's day yeah sure yeah let's cut to chapacoy hillary's house And you blew it! You blew it! It's got to be a painful day. Got to be a painful day for that lady Maybe not
Starting point is 00:03:49 She could be soused That doesn't sound good I live right near her, you realize that Not as nice a neighborhood as hers But you know I could hit her house with a rock Sort of like the people throwing rocks at Trump's motorcade. More of those open-minded jerk-offs.
Starting point is 00:04:10 Anyhow, contributions to the show. Thank you so much, Kevin Ford. You've made like three or four in the last week or so. There's Kevin Ford again. And Callum McKeever with a nice fat one. Callum, thanks, pal. John Jay, my buddy, John J. IV with another contribution. Darren J. Card, a regular
Starting point is 00:04:28 contributor to the show. Kevin Ford again and again. Thank you guys so much. That is the lifeblood of the show. Keep it coming. It's like the Jerry Lewis telethon. Without the donations, the kids wouldn't have crutches and wheels. Now back to the show. What? What kind of shit is that? Had a great
Starting point is 00:04:44 time in Laugh, Boston this weekend. I'll play a little clip. This is off my phone, so if it doesn't sound perfectly good, kiss my grits. But it was such a killer time up there. I just wanted to play a minute of the second show. I think it was Saturday night.
Starting point is 00:05:00 How you doing, sir? I'm a fucking Republican. Look, Jesus, you got to like me. That's a... Twice. I feel like Luke Gingrich's Stockholm Gang. I'm a fucking Republican. What? Jesus, you gotta like me with that suit. Twice. I feel like Luke Gingrich's doppelganger. Or you could be a gay woman from the Democrats. Fucking
Starting point is 00:05:14 son of a hateful guy. Anyway, sorry about straight to being whitey bulges, neck of the woods. As I'm telling jokes, I'm standing on a bone. Some guy buried a fucking few years ago that had been killed in a kitchen. Oh, nice wet cloth lady, thanks for coming out of the boat.
Starting point is 00:05:36 Keep those borders wide open, what could come in, huh? who knows that diseases are coming back that we wiped out in 12 a.d people coming over dressed like that in the old testament i'm not supposed to make a fucking i saw three wise men getting out of a range rover newton yesterday Anyways, that was just the first 30 seconds of the second show Saturday night. I have never, I got to tell you folks, you know, I'm always a little, I don't know, I've been doing it almost 30 years. It's, it feels like shoveling shit against a tide lately. And you know, but it doesn't feel that way lately with the special coming out and the places Boston was packed. And it always isn't that way for me.
Starting point is 00:06:32 I know it's my hometown, but I don't get back there much, but laugh Boston. It was oversold Saturday night, but Friday night was sold out. Both shows Saturday night was sold out. Um, I mean,
Starting point is 00:06:43 teaming with people and just just it felt like when I started in Boston uh just I don't know I've been working a lot I'm in fighting shape that with uh a lot of DePaulo podcast t-shirts in the audience I am really like I'm I'm getting a uh re-energized a shot in the ass like being at a Trump rally. It was just great. And Laugh Boston, for my fellow comics listening, I don't know why you'd listen to another comics podcast, unless it's Rogan's, and then you can't help it. It's everywhere.
Starting point is 00:07:15 But what a gig. Western Hotel, which is four stars, and the club is in the hotel, and there's only one show on Friday night. What more can you friggin' ask? I mean, and thank you to uh joe rogan because i can't tell you how many people came up and said uh yeah i heard you on rogan's podcast it's i guess it's like jesus christ it's more powerful than any morning radio show i'm gonna do oh that's my phone ringing because i forgot to hide it god damn it anyhow uh and thank you to steven crowder
Starting point is 00:07:45 who was on the joe rogan show and plugged my special like i asked him to right in the middle of a beef with joe uh and i love both those guys i watched a little of it it was making me so uncomfortable um but two you know headstrong guys two smart guys and and joe smoking that pipe while he's fucking arguing have me crying and um i think i'm more like rogan when it comes to you know debating and shit you start saying fuck face and uh that's why you gotta listen to podcasts i mean that's it's just anyway thanks to both those guys uh i got really drunk uh both nights actually but the second night i usually drive home right after the show right because i like to wake up in my own bed but i went no
Starting point is 00:08:31 it feels i'm talking all these very funny young open mic is from boston they had a show on after me i was watching these guys let me tell you about boston folks as far as comedy it's like what mecca is to muslims it's just loaded with talent that probably made no fucking sense but i said it anyways i've watched a couple of i think a guy named was dave mcdonough i think i don't know um but uh this kid drew who was the mc this weekend told me to watch this kid or maybe it was somebody else i was so drunk but i think the guy's name was dave mcdonough this is why i love him he won the boston comedy competition which is saying a lot and he just said fuck it he quit comedy right after he's like i'm not going through all that shit but he was i guess he's you know i just gotta
Starting point is 00:09:14 urge him not to quit completely he was there that night doing comedy so whatever um yeah so what a great trip what a great gig packed and by the way I've sold out like 90% of my shows in 2017. Now, I don't know if that's because the Trump winds are blowing. And I don't know. And I know Joe Rogan's thing didn't hurt this weekend. And also comics come home back in November. I stirred up a little shit. But who knows?
Starting point is 00:09:42 People must have said who were there that night. Hey, this guy thinks like me. He's not into groupthink like the left is, which we'll demonstrate in the next 45 minutes. Anyhow, Louis C.K., my old roommate, here I am at the club at Laugh Boston, and Louis is up the street Thursday and Friday night. That was my competition.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Louis is at the Wang Center. My old buddy Joe List opening for him. So my old roommate Louie's at the Wang Center. So guess what? I get a text from Joe List. Hey, we're going to go to Del Frisco's after. So went to Del Frisco Steakhouse. Me, Louie, and a couple other guys, Joe List.
Starting point is 00:10:23 And how fucking cool is that though me and louie started it years ago years ago late 80s and uh here we are and uh louie ordered a glass of wine that was like i don't know 175 at all he asked me to guess i go 170 and i know nothing about wine and he almost shit i almost nailed it and i tasted wine. And I'm not like a big red wine guy. Fucking, oh, my God. I'm like, this is what red wine's supposed to taste like. It was the best fucking thing I ever drank in my life. Just a sip.
Starting point is 00:10:52 And then I knocked the glass over on purpose out of jealousy. No, I didn't. Oh, my God. But, yeah. And, of course, you know, Louie buys dinner. So I could have had like an $80 steak. But, no, right before Joe List texted me, I had eaten about 11 pounds of the shitty chicken fingers at the comedy club. So I couldn't even fucking have a steak.
Starting point is 00:11:12 There was no room. But what a fun night. Really fucking cold where Del Frisco's late. We keep it open. Thanks to Louie. They keep it open late for us. And it was just one of those nights that we'll be looking back on in a few years going that was already seven years ago but uh you know you have you have a few nights
Starting point is 00:11:31 like that those are the ones that stick out in my mind that and the one when uh uncle willie touched me back in the fifth grade those seem to stick out speaking of that we'll get to milo in a seconds uh mama mama mama what is going on um what do we want to talk about first oh i don't know there's a ton of shit just locally i was laughing in the new york paper no no i mean not funny the story itself but this young kid and pulled out a gun in Brooklyn somewhere you know like a pellet gun trying to hold up a bodega and ends up getting killed which is not the funny part but uh I what I found funny about it you know they always interview the people that run the bodega or the convenience store whatever you want to call it you're part of the woods and I've read
Starting point is 00:12:22 about three stories I'd say in the last year and a half where one of the witnesses' name was Muhammad Ali. It's just, why is that funny? Well, it's just kind of funny. It shows how many Muslims are here. Excuse me. And they interviewed Muhammad Ali. And he said, I never saw him before.
Starting point is 00:12:42 I said, the worker, Muhammad Ali. I'll do it, Muhammad Ali. He took two six-packs of Corona. Then he put a gun to my face. He threatened to kill me. I told him it was on camera. He got scared and he ran off. A little while later, I heard gunshots fired down the block.
Starting point is 00:12:59 He was dead. Nothing had beat me but for the time. He stuck a gun to my face trying to take a corona end up dead that's my ali for you folks but i'm just saying that's like the third story with muhammad ali in it and then joe frazier tried to steal some twinkies i shot him in the ass he's a dumb looking gorilla motherfucker i shoot him again ho joe ho joe i don't know i just keep finding stories of Muhammad Ali in them. But there's always sad stories
Starting point is 00:13:29 like that in the fucking Bronx and Bushwick and Brooklyn and it's the same shit. Where's that coming from? Not on the Monday show, please. No feedback on the Monday show. Okay. God damn you.
Starting point is 00:13:50 Speaking of Boston and South Boston, and my city's so liberal, my old hometown, just loves their fucking government and thought this story was kind of related to it. And the story in the Boston Herald, 76-year-old Southie lady, by the way that's what left boston and is in south boston you know whitey bulger's old stomping grounds that the whole place
Starting point is 00:14:11 has been gentrified in his beautiful restaurant it's like san francisco east it really is only even more liberal oh it's really getting fucking disgusting but um it's a beautiful they've really did a beautiful job with the waterfront in South Boston. But why am I talking about, 76-year-old lady from Southie was cited for failing to shovel her walk. She received, yeah, a fine of $200, the city sent her for not shoveling her walk out front.
Starting point is 00:14:40 I guess her son runs an insurance company out of the, and there's a law with businesses. And even personal people can get hit with like a small fine but if you have a business i guess if you're just a resident it's a 50 fine if you don't shovel your sidewalk in the winter but she's 76 for fuck's sake she's got my hips and knees can we cut her some slack but i'm just making the point there's the love of your government okay just fucking horrible people actually trying to defend the government doing that lorraine walsh so people saw the story on uh you know online and they wanted to kick in to pay for the 200 fine she's a lifelong resident she's one of 500 people hit with citations for failing to shovel their sidewalk see uh the key word there is their sidewalks uh she said she had no problem dealing with last
Starting point is 00:15:31 thursday storm but could only chip away half the ice left by sunday's rapid uh freezing slush yeah because she's fucking 76 uh but like i said her brother uh I guess her brother John operates an insurance company out of the out of the part of the home so they get tagged for $200 it's just fucking ridiculous again government up your ass telling you what kind of toilets and light bulbs to get the fuck out of here keep voting democrat you like that shit if you slip on the ice you're an ass but um you know it's a little ridiculous If you slip on the ice, you're an ass. But, you know, it's a little ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:16:12 I think Walsh is the mayor, too. Isn't that the mayor? The mayor of Boston's name is Walsh. Walsh said she called City Hall yesterday, spoke to a code enforcement director. What is this? Fucking Russia circa 19? Steve Tankle, who told her all appeals need to be submitted in writing. She probably can't do that either after shoveling with her arthritis. Has knuckles like James Coburn.
Starting point is 00:16:40 And if you don't get that reference, look it up. It was the last few years of his life when he was giving out like Oscar awards and shit. He had these gnarled hands. Walsh mailed it. Imagine she had to write a letter explaining her situation. Fucking Christ almighty. Marty Walsh is the mayor. He's not related to Lorraine.
Starting point is 00:17:02 Said code enforcement would review the appeal appropriately. I'm sure they'll take into account all the circumstances around that the mayor said. I'm sure they'll take into account all the circumstances around that, the mayor said. I'm sure they will take into account. You should hear that guy talk. He makes Ted Kennedy sound like he's from Sweden or any Kennedy. Pick one who's alive, dead, doesn't matter. You get the point.
Starting point is 00:17:22 Anyhow, he says, I'm sure they'll take into account all the circumstances. Oh, I'm sure they will, too, after she gets that recording and shit. Because, you know, the city government has been known to take people's personal, right, fucking stories and to take everything into a circumstance. They're not just mindless robots. Come on, Mayor Walsh. She's an elderly person, so I want to make sure that we're not putting a burden on an elderly person that can't do it. Well, you already are, just by making her write the letter and jumping through fucking hoops with her 80-year-old knees. Okay? Just tear it up. That would be
Starting point is 00:17:50 the right answer. Anyhow. Fucking government up the fucking wazoo. Ain't it? Yeah. Give the fucking broad a break, could you? Just give the broad a break.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Marty Wald Mea of boston i'm telling you h you keep looking at me i'm gonna put you in the fucking ground i promise you not this time well trump hysteria is you know it's just priceless i'll get to the press conference which i was listening to on the way up to to Boston when he was bitch slapping the fucking media, which deserves to be dick slapped across the face for the next 40 years because they haven't changed their way since the election. They're only getting worse. They're hysteria. And people are just blinded by. Let me let me tell you, it's not just because it's Trump. They were blinded by let me let me tell you it's not just because it's trump they were blinded by the hatred of bush remember bush derangement syndrome it's it's i thought that's
Starting point is 00:18:52 the worst it's even worse now under trump it is just priceless and the fucking media is in cahoots the fucking propaganda arm of the democratic party which which is the mainstream media, has lost their tits. And yes, Trump creates, sometimes he's his own worst enemy. I'll get to that in a few seconds because he has to be a little more precise with his language. But, you know, we'll get to that.
Starting point is 00:19:17 But New York City, people are blinded. Blinded. Every day I pick up the paper, here's one. It was in the op- of the new york post uh people that send their kids to a dalton school it's like a very rich uh school here in manhattan um uh they usually have a party the dalton school at at um wallman rink it's a skating rink that trump the city was trying to get it going for years, and Trump fixed it
Starting point is 00:19:45 in a matter of minutes years back. And this school has a party, skating party there every year. But because, you know, Trump has his name on it or has anything to do with it, these fucking rich idiot Upper East Side assholes, the parents of these kids, don't want to fucking have
Starting point is 00:20:02 the party. Ugh! Just fucking jerk-offs. Aren't they? Yeah, they are. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Not everyone, just them. Why aren't more people interrogating, like me? Yeah, so I was reading some of the op-eds.
Starting point is 00:20:18 The time has come to stop with the childish acts and protests regarding President Trump. Like him or hate him, he is the President of the United States. I with this uh steven rubinoff wrote in uh he's the president of the u.s while i wholeheartedly support everyone's right to their opinion we should accept that he's our president cut out with the antics like not allowing your children to have a school party only because it it's at trump's woman rink can you imagine fucking dragging your kids into it? Yeah, let them be kids. That's what they do. They politicize everything. And yeah, we should have went nuts after Obama got elected.
Starting point is 00:20:53 Imagine you'd be labeled a racist and shit. The Dalton parent who said it was insane of the school to cancel a skating event at Trump's ice rink is totally correct. This is another person who wrote it. Liberals are shooting themselves foot, or in this case, in the kids' skates. How about putting a gun in their mouths? Out of insane hatred for Trump, the liberal government bureaucracy that ran New York was not able to get the Wallman rink up and running. Trump did it in record time, and it's been a blessing for New Yorkersers ever since how was all that lost on you before you fucking tell your kids yeah we're not going to have that party this year because that evil donald trump oh you're blinded by your ideology you're fucking really and again and don't accuse
Starting point is 00:21:36 me of that at trump because didn't even vote for him in the primaries listen to what he had had to say and he fucking won me over okay especially with his hatred of the media that was the other thing that put me over the top oh goodness great imagine though fucking up your kids kids gonna have a school party they've been doing it year after year no let's drive a kids into it fucking weasels oh my god and they were throwing rocks at his motorcade down in florida this. Somebody threw a rock at it. Imagine if that was done to fucking Obama. They'd be banging on it.
Starting point is 00:22:09 They'd have the Secret Service. They'd have the fucking CIA, the FBI banging on your door to find out who threw the rock. And then you'd be charged with a hate crime and hung by your white European balls. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. But I think I am right on the money. Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch. Oh.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Trump is the president. Yeah. Anyhow. So Trump had that press conference and he bitch slapped the media and bitch slapped them and bitch slapped them again and bitch,
Starting point is 00:22:59 and I can't get enough of it. It's not enough. It is not enough. And they are, the mainstream media is the enemy of the american people he was so fucking dead on why do you say well didn't you learn anything from watching cnn even just fucking the last six months before the election with donna brazil working with
Starting point is 00:23:18 cnn the dnc to get the questions for how fucking much more evidence do you need to know how corrupt that's just the beginning you can go online online and find clips of CNN cutting people off when they're interviewing people before the election and people start to say positive shit about Trump. They'll cut them right the fuck off. Not to mention a thousand other stories that were Bailey stories. And they are anti-Trump from morning, noon, and night. I switch around. I flip around. I watch as much as I can. And it really is hilarious. They wonder why their fucking ratings, as Archie Bunker would say, are in the turlet. But they are.
Starting point is 00:23:53 They are. Because they... Ugh. Let's listen to... Don Lemon had a panel on last week. And they were talking about how much it costs to protect the first family. You know, they always fucking do this story
Starting point is 00:24:09 no matter who's in office, right? But of course, CNN has to pile on. And there was a black guy who was a... He worked for George W. Bush. Don't even know what his title was. But he had his opinion on CNN talking about this very story. And listen how that bitch Don Lemon, but he had his opinion on CNN talking about this very story.
Starting point is 00:24:29 And listen how that bitch Don Lemon, that big girl, listen to how he handles it. Remember he had a meltdown a few months ago on CNN, yet he still works there. I think he was drunk that night. We'll cut him some slack. But listen to Don Lemon and how he handles somebody who's trying to defend Trump. That is a fake news story.
Starting point is 00:24:48 If you don't want to participate in the news stories on this network, then don't come on and participate. But don't. This guy said what they're talking about, you know, this very story about how much it costs to cover the first time is kind of fake news. And Lemon just fucking lost his faggy tits. Call them fake because you don't agree with them go on Don this is a fake news story in my opinion because the underlying assumption is that thanks everyone thanks for watching have a great weekend good night all
Starting point is 00:25:28 What a dick. Yeah, there's your fucking, there's your neutral point of view on CNN, and they do it all the fucking time. How is Don Lemon still on the air? Why is Donna Brazile still being interviewed after fucking, you know, finding out what farces they are in fakes and phonies and don lemon and cnn is exactly what the presidents say they are
Starting point is 00:25:50 they're fucking just hate around the clock towards trump so trump uh yeah raised all kinds of news this weekend. And well, first, let's get to Jonathan Karl. Well, Trump said on Saturday, I think it was down in Florida and talking about, you know, terrorism. And I think he was down in Melbourne. It was like one of his big rallies. But here's what he had to say. You look at what's happening in Germany. You look at what's happening last night in Sweden.
Starting point is 00:26:34 Sweden. Who would believe this? He's talking. And here's the thing. Trump, again, this is where he's his own worst enemy. Because you have to be a little more specific with your statements. But I'm getting tired of this. Oh, he lies about everything.
Starting point is 00:26:51 He lied about how many people at his inauguration. He lied that he had the biggest electoral. He gets his facts wrong as opposed to. And then they. But compared to Obama lying about you can, you know, you can keep your healthcare plan and keep your doctor. I know there was nobody going after conservatives from the IRA. See those lies?
Starting point is 00:27:12 You're going to tell those, you're going to tell me those have the same weight, those fucking lies. But Trump brings the shit on himself. Maybe he does it as a distraction while other shit is getting done. But what he was talking about, I knew what he was talking about because I had seen the Tucker Carlson interview. Tucker Carlson, a few nights prior, interviewed a guy who did a documentary about Sweden and how it's been ruined societally almost because of the refugees pouring into Sweden because they take everybody
Starting point is 00:27:41 and how rapes have gone up and and murders and and violence in general because of the refugee problem and the guy making the fucking documentary almost get killed himself making it but that's what so tucker did a you know uh interview with that guy a few nights prior and and that that's what trump i knew what trump was referencing but he has to be and i agree he has to be more particular with his language and more specific. He tweeted the next day after he got all this blowback because people are going, they thought he was talking about terrorism. He's comparing Germany and Brussels and what happened in Paris to nothing happened like that in Sweden. So I can see where the confusion was.
Starting point is 00:28:20 But then another part of me is going, is this him doing one of those, you know, distraction, hey, look over here things? But the fucking point being, the media just went fucking crazy. And his point was legitimate. What he was trying to drive home is, you know, what goes on, what's gone on in Europe over the last 50 years, by the way. The refugee program didn't just start and and so you know you're gonna make a we have to we can't be stupid over here you can't look and that's what don lemon cnn and all the other fucking mainstream networks ignore the fact that we already have proof that it's not working we have 50 years of proof that's a good sample
Starting point is 00:29:03 size in europe of the refugee crisis and what it's done and we just ignore it we have 50 years of proof that's a good sample size in europe of the refugee crisis and what it's done and we just ignore it we have a politically correct fucking blinders on uh but he has to be he has to be more careful with this fucking language no doubt about it unless he enjoys this you know you have to be a little more particular. But you guys in the media who are fucking, he's not being presidential. One jerk off stood up at some, I don't know, some, I think one of the Republican senators was having one of his town hall. I forget where it was, but somebody, I feel like some guy stands up. I feel like I'm in the back of a car and there's a drunk guy driving, meaning how Trump is handling his presidency. And, oh, what a big puss.
Starting point is 00:29:48 And you can't try to keep covering him like he's a conventional president because he's not. He's an outsider. Okay? It's so fun to hear progressives who are all for fucking change whining because this president doesn't represent the status quo when it comes to how politicians should behave and go about their business. And it's progressives who love change who are shitting their pants. I love it. He's a fucking businessman. He's a fucking Queens guy, a little rough around the edges, and they're all shitting their pants because he doesn doesn't him and ha and uh do that fake oh i'm so thoughtful like obama did hmm well uh takes 20 minutes to say
Starting point is 00:30:33 a sentence that he could have said in a fucking 30 seconds i'm intelligent and and then fucking john mccain and he is a war hero and it's the one thing i hated when trump you know said uh heroes don't get caught whatever he said which that was fucking horrendous so I can't blame McCain for having a b under his bonnet when it comes to Trump but when he goes when you look at history the first thing dictators do is shut down the press Trump's not trying to shut down the fucking press he's just trying to put some perspective on it because it's been so crooked for so long and so left-leaning and so in the pocket of the democrat but nobody even argues that even the dems don't fucking argue that but so
Starting point is 00:31:12 mccain you know it's time to go man you've done enough god bless you you're a true american patriot but you know step aside go enjoy your life, please. Please. And of course, you have to quote like Defense Secretary Mad Dog Mattis saying, I have no problem with the press. He has to say that. What's he going to fucking say? But Jonathan Karl, you know, on this week with, you know, the midget showorge stephanopoulos he fills in for george and he said he at the end of this sunday um on abc you know this week he said as long as america's democracy remains healthy there will be reporters willing to pursue the truth even if that means incurring the wrath of the most powerful person in the world and he said i've seen my colleagues risk their lives and with increasing frequency lose their lives in their pursuit of the truth
Starting point is 00:32:09 notice you haven't uh and a closing essay that noted that uh historically contentious relations between white house and the press yeah exactly so put it in perspective like trump's the first one to hate the press goes back to thomas jefferson and the whole slew of them okay uh and they you know they always defend a free you need a free press to make the democracy yes a free press but not a free uh corrupt press and that's what you guys because you have a lower rating than the fucking morons in congress how do you fucking explain that okay it's been slanted so far to the left for so many years that uh the average american joe out i hated cnn when i was 22 before i was following politics i just fucking it smelled of pc horseshit
Starting point is 00:32:58 so i'm glad trump is bitch slapping him but again he has to be a little more particular with his language unless unless he wants to keep getting in these scrapes i don't fucking know um but uh mccain saying that you know it's the first thing dictators do is shut down the press how is he trying to shut down the press give me an example senator m McCain. Well, he said something about libel suits. Yeah, yeah, that hasn't happened either. But McCain did say, I'm not saying the president's trying to be a dictator. I'm just saying we need to learn the lessons of history. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:33:36 And you need to learn the lessons that fucking press corps has become corrupt. Especially this one. It needs to be douched. Talk about draining the swamp. Like I said. Fucking love Don Lemon. Okay, we gotta go. I disagree.
Starting point is 00:33:59 Anyhow, kids. Again, go to connectpal.com slash Nick if you're enjoying this show to sign up for two to three more shows a week a lot of people are doing it a lot of people are doing it sound like trump a lot of people are doing it you'll enjoy i guarantee your head will spin it so funny um bill maher responds to real time this all all happened last week before I had to go to Boston, but I still wanted to cover it because it's right up my poop chute.
Starting point is 00:34:29 No pun intended here. Bill Maher responds to real-time protesting journalists, and he says liberals will continue to lose elections. This guy who Bill Maher has on his show on a regular basis, Jeremy Scahill. I don't know if that's pronounced properly, but who gives a shit? He's a big girl, apparently, because Big Lib, who's a regular on the show. But he found out that Bill was going to have Milo on, Yiannopoulos, you know, the outspoken, provocative, conservative gay fella. And Jeremy, you know, canceled his appearance.
Starting point is 00:35:06 conservative gay fella uh and jeremy you know canceled his appearance he thinks it's just again you know it's wrong to let bill maher you know have somebody like milo on a right-wing flamethrower and that um this guy says uh milo's booking would be exploited by the breitbart news editor in attempt to legitimize his hateful agenda. You don't get to defend that. You don't get to fucking define what's hateful and what's not. And that's Bill Maher's point to the fucking point. The guy fucking canceled, naturally. So Milo came on.
Starting point is 00:35:38 And at least Bill Maher's starting to see the light. You know? Actually, Bill Maher fired back after the that guest had canceled um that scahill guy canceled and uh this another complaint by mr scahill uh was that uh bill maher's uh you know his take on islam uh was veering into vitriol. And Bill Maher said, well, basically, the guy's full of shit. And he said, Bill Maher said, my comments on Islam have never veered into vitriol.
Starting point is 00:36:15 Liberals will continue to lose elections as long as they follow the example of people like Mr. Scahu, whose views veer into fantasy and away from bedrock liberal principles like equality of women. Yeah, well, again, that's the feminist movement, and they're behind a lot of the censorship in this country and the PC-ness, and they never come out against Islam, hardly ever, even though there's the most misogynist religion on the face of the earth. But Bill says, like principles of equality of women, respect for bill says like principles equality of women respect
Starting point is 00:36:45 for minorities and i kind of disagree with that you respect them so you can get their votes separation religion and state and free speech which the left is totally and liberals are totally not behind anymore uh witness the burning of berkeley and milo's speech being canceled there so um you know, but Bill says, if Mr. Yiannopoulos is indeed the monster Scahill claims, and he might be, nothing could serve the liberal cause better than having him exposed on Friday night.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Exactly fucking right. Right? Right. So let's play a little Milo. And this clip with Bill Maher, he's talking about the importance of humor and i've been saying this for a year everybody thinks music is what was going to bring the world together i think it's humor and i've said this in interviews or maybe i said it to my wife when i was fighting with her and she said why are you still doing comedy no um she would never say that she loves my comedy she bought me a squirting
Starting point is 00:37:45 flower for my birthday no um but i've always been saying this since tough crowd because comedy really is a way to break down the tension you know i mean chris rock can make me laugh a lot and i disagree them same with bill hicks disagree about 90 of their political views and view on life but uh bill hicks i learned so much from about the left listening to his cds and shit and music can bring people together only so much because we don't all play an instrument but we all have a sense of humor and we have diffused situations and conversations that get too tense with a joke right a lot of comics uh not me included here but a little nerds that used to get beat up and shit.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Or Chris Rock used to say he'd get threatened because he was real small. You know, bullies would try to bully him and he'd save his own ass with his sense of humor. And they'd actually become friends. That's what it does. You can do that with music too. But I think comedy is more of actually a universal language. Because we've all made somebody laugh in our lives at one point. And it can save your ass or it can get your teeth knocked in.
Starting point is 00:38:49 I like to walk that fence. It's not a popularity contest. That's what I loved about Kinison. He goes, you don't have to fucking like me to find me funny, which most people who have my political views, they practice that. I can laugh at Al Frank and I think he's a funny fuck because he's so hateful. And I can laugh at Andy Kindler, who's a fucking left winger. And even Jon Stewart in The Daily Show. But you don't find that on the left.
Starting point is 00:39:18 You don't find that in the people who go to Bill Maher's live tapings. Most of them, they're just fucking blind. But here's Milo making that point on the Bill Maher show. He's a handsome fella, gay fella, who has a black, or he had a black Muslim boy. He likes black guys. So it's very hard. You'll notice the live audiences who love to attack conservatives on Bill Maher's show, you know, they were having trouble fucking hissing
Starting point is 00:39:45 and booing because this guy, again, puts black penises in his mouth. And apparently that buys you capital with the far left audience. But here's Milo, who's very intelligent and funny. And I like everything about him except the fucking pearls. It looks like he busted into Barbara Bush's bedroom. Not just that. But the other thing is, you know, humor isn't how you drive people apart. You know, these sort of policing humor for racism and sexism is utterly wrong-headed. Not just because normally it isn't there, but because that's how
Starting point is 00:40:13 we build bridges, not how we break them. You know, when you make a joke, that's how you connect with somebody. You know, you make jokes at the bar, you have awkward small talk. Humor's what brings people together, not what drives them apart. And these basic, you know, fundamental human psychological insights, the progressive... I mean, the one area where I'm a little concerned is when you go after people individually. Yeah, you've never done that, Bill.
Starting point is 00:40:34 If it's in the cause of a greater truth, you know, if people are hurt as, you know, collateral damage, I'll go there. But, like, I didn't understand't understand like the ghostbusters thing first of all who gives a fuck i wrote a bad review of a movie am i not entitled to do that i said she looked like a dude she does um you know i said right so she was barely literate she is and i simply don't accept i do not accept that a hollywood you know that the star of a hollywood blockbuster that an a-list mega celebrity is sitting in a hollywood mansion crying over mean words on the internet. Get over it. And if you aren't over it, which I suspect you are,
Starting point is 00:41:09 because it's not really the case that she's sitting there upset about mean words on the Internet. Actually, she's been deployed by the studio because the movie's tanking. You know, you've just got to accept. I'm sorry. You've just got to accept mean words on the Internet don't hurt anyone. Exactly. We have to get over this notion if you make a gay joke that means eight gay guys are going to get beat up tonight or transgender that mentality's been driven so far into people's heads thanks to the left-leaning mainstream fucking media for the last 50 years they tell lies and they tell them for 50 fucking
Starting point is 00:41:44 years and they become the truth like how racist and hateful this country is it's a crock of fucking shit and he's right on the money about humor and shit and uh it's just refreshing but if i want you to picture like ann colt is saying just what he just said or any other fucking white conservative they would have been getting hissed and booed and whatever, but because this guy, again, is gay and has black boyfriends and blah, blah, blah, that's the same with my friend Lisa Lampanelli. She gets away with the most racist, heinous shit
Starting point is 00:42:15 because half her act is talking about how many fucking black guys she loves to fuck. And I'm not going to blow a black fella, so my jokes work. That's where I draw the line. I might take one out to eat, you know, red lobster on a Thursday night. They love that shit. And, oh, that's racist. Oh, it's a joke.
Starting point is 00:42:32 But, yeah, I learned all that on Tough Crowd, you know. And me and Patrice going back and forth and laughing together. And even Paul Mooney, this black comic who hates fucking white people. He says that in his act. And I always hated him from a distance. But we made each other laugh in the green room and on the panel of Tough Crowd. And it really does. It's a good elixir if you don't have booze to break the fucking tension.
Starting point is 00:42:59 And it really can go, you know. And I agree with him. He got all blamed for that Leslie. What's her name? What's Rod's name that he's just talking about leslie jones i don't know but you know what she does stink on snl she flubs her fucking lines that doesn't mean you hate her or anything but but if you state that you become a racist and that's where we are and all that stuff and i could have found if i met leslie is it leslie jones i'm probably fucking the name up but i would like her you know uh but we have to get over this fucking uh you know anyhow and then he went on uh that's when he was talking about humor he's dead on and and
Starting point is 00:43:38 larry wilmore the most boring negro on the planet if i can say that uh larry willmore nice guy did his show um but just just you know a failed talk show host on comedy central but we have to listen to his word like it's the bible because um he's well spoken and And but but this is how he responds to Milo after Milo, you know, made some great arguments against his fucking blind ideology. But this is how liberals respond when they come up against a conservative as smart as them. See, do you always have to fight with everybody? I don't. We were having such a nice time, but you always invite such awful people on your show. They're so stupid.
Starting point is 00:44:24 No, come on. You need to start inviting higher IQ guests, or this is going to be a disaster. First of all, wait. These are very high. Wait, hold on, Bill. You can go fuck yourself, all right? Oh, good response. Now the sheep join in.
Starting point is 00:44:40 Hold on a second. No, no, no, Gary. And I'll let you go, Jack. If your argument is that these people are stupid, you didn't hear a word this man said early in this segment because he can talk circles around you. Oh, cue the politically correct speech. Because he can talk circles around you,
Starting point is 00:44:59 so he's a better talker than Milo. But was there any logic or reasoning? Oh, goodness. Pathetic, douchey little ass for Milo. Pathetic, douchey little ass. One last thing, and I'll let you defend.
Starting point is 00:45:13 I'll let you defend it. Leslie Jones is not very literate. Go fuck yourself again for that one. Yes, she is. Yes, she is. Excuse me. She can barely spell. I very funny. No, no, no. Excuse me. Excuse me. She can barely spell.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Larry, I'm a great fan of yours, man. I love it. She can barely spell. That was Milo's comeback. Excuse me. And then there's a white congressman on there, the guy that had the problem with the bathroom issue in Carolina, Jack Kingston, whatever his name is
Starting point is 00:45:45 bill has him on a lot but that's him at the end chiming in we are all about the first amendment here and my love go for it brother because i think what they did to you at berkeley was you hear that so he goes there's a white congressman defending mile he said go for it brother freedom of speech there's where there should be a round of applause from the Bill Maher audience. But no, it came out of a fucking conservative congressman's mouth and nothing. So they just can't help themselves. And like I said, I will laugh at Al Franken, Andy Kindler, whoever, even Bill Maher. I mean, but they won't laugh at people.
Starting point is 00:46:32 And, you know, they laughed a little bit at Milo, only because, like I said, a very gay fellow who's very conservative and whatever. Well, he probably wouldn't call himself conservative. It really gets, the waters get muddied, don't they? But Larry Wilmore, fuck you and go fuck yourself again for making good points. Fuck you and I can't undermine because Milo walks the walk. He got in more hot water too, I guess, this week. Because he's going to speak.
Starting point is 00:47:08 He's going to be a conference speaker at CPAC. American conservatives have expressed anger at the booking of right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos as a conference speaker after footage emerged in which he discussed sex between younger boys and older men. An internet live stream, Unopolis, yeah, we know he's the news editor of Breitbart. They have to stick that in there. They have to fucking... Says you can get...
Starting point is 00:47:37 He's quoting Milo saying you can get quite hung up on this child abuse thing. He goes on to suggest that sex between younger boys and older men could be a coming-of- age relationship in which those older men help those younger boys discover who they are. He also details relationship he had with a Catholic priest when he was a teenager, which makes me go,
Starting point is 00:47:56 wow, I'd like to get more on that. Um, but, uh, somebody put it up on Facebook and, uh, trying to tie him, you know, trying to say that he is encouraging and supporting pedophilia, which of course he says he isn't.
Starting point is 00:48:12 And Milo says the video had been select selectively edited. He said, I did say that there are relationships between younger men and older men that can help a young gay man escape from a lack of support or understanding at home. That's perfectly true. and every gay man knows it. But I was not talking, first of all, does every gay man know that? I don't know if that statement is, but I was not talking about anything illegal, and I was not referring to prepubescent boys.
Starting point is 00:48:36 I was talking about my own relationship when I was 17 with a man who was 29. The age of consent in the UK is 16. was 29 the age of consent in the uk is 16 so but if that gets turned into him again you know somehow promoting or defending pedophilia and uh you know and he says bullshit the thing was edited uh so you watch it and believe what you want if i can believe um so but conservatives are upset you know um because he's speaking at this cpac uh matt schlapp the head of american conservative union which bills itself as the nation's premier conservative voice and arranges the cpac conference had defended concerns about booking to speak uh before the video emerged however conservatives use conservatives used Twitter to denounce Yiannopoulos, not just for the comments he made in the video,
Starting point is 00:49:27 but also his history of the matter. The media, professors, and the entertainment industry. Anyhow. Yeah, the CP it has attracted controversy for its efforts to woo social conservatives and prohibit conservatives with more progressive views on lgbt rights because back in 2015 they excluded the log cabin republicans which is a pro-lgbt group
Starting point is 00:50:02 um so um you know it's a controversial booking to say the least but uh by booking him it looks like you know they're widening their horizons to me and uh i i you know i don't think he's defending pedophilia you know you got to put these things into a context but he was very funny on bill maher bill maher seemed to like him and uh thumbs up for bill maher putting him on and and actually being fair he he told him to shut the fuck up a couple times milo really is got that at like add he's all over the place but uh i mean come on it was fucking great it was just great to see larry wilmore people like that who just blinded by their horseshit left-wing ideology fucking uh fuck you fuck you milo for having good answers and
Starting point is 00:50:59 fuck you any fucking how let's lighten it up by the way hitler's phone went on uh auction uh yeah the auction hitler's phone today every time i see a story like that i text louis ck because he always had hitler material when we were younger and i remember unlucky louis Remember on Lucky Louie, one of the episodes, he buys a Hitler doll. No. Wait a minute. What the fuck was it? Was it a Richard Nixon doll? I can't remember.
Starting point is 00:51:34 Now I'm fucking the story up. I think it was a Hitler doll. And they wouldn't even. And they substituted. They made it a Richard Nixon doll or vice versa i don't know but it was hbo fucking really showing their left leanings but uh yeah a phone used by adolf hitler sold at auction for almost a quarter million dollars made by siemens this is the phone that was used by hitler to issue most of his commands during the last two years of world war
Starting point is 00:52:04 two too bad it wasn't they didn't have mobile phones back then because the connection is dog that was used by Hitler to issue most of his commands during the last two years of World War II. Too bad it wasn't, they didn't have mobile phones back then because the connection is dog shit. We could have saved a lot of people. When I wanted them executed at Auschwitz,
Starting point is 00:52:16 I'm sorry, my Fuhrer, you're breaking up. The Friends and Fuhrer Program. Apparently it was left in a box inside an english country house um you know hitler's bunker they found in hitler's bunker so it's been sitting in this guy's house in england for ever the auction house describes hitler's mobile device of destruction called it arguably the most destructive weapon of all time. I would say Obama's phone and his pen, too, would be the most destructive weapon with all those fucking executive orders, which sent millions to their deaths around the world.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Imagine, why do you want Hitler's phone on your fucking... I don't... Although I do have a Mussolini's walkie-talkies. I got those. A replica. And I have a... That's true. I have a cigarette lighter that's Stalin.
Starting point is 00:53:16 Anyhow, $243,000. I wish I had that kind of Dota-Buy shit like that. Not that. Not like Hitler shit, but... You know what I mean. Do you know? Who's an animal?
Starting point is 00:53:29 Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch! Anyhow. Finally, as I was watching a little Rogan and Steven Crowder go back and forth, which was making me really uncomfortable, which makes for great entertainment, by the way um because i like both those guys and uh i guess joe actually put out a statement kind of like apologizing um because joe argues like me and um but i was laughing so fucking hard that they were debating about pot you know it was all they got into it about pot and you know whether it causes car accidents and statistics and you know joe's a pro pot guy and and it was just fucking he's
Starting point is 00:54:10 he's smoking fucking balls as they have in the argument oh my god i was belly laughing it was fucking great and that podcast is such a juggernaut i can't tell you how many people came up to me in boston going uh yeah i heard you on Rogan. Part of me was happy. Another part of me was like, fuck, I thought I sold this place out myself. Was it all Rogan's juice? If it is, I'm flying out there every other month to do it. And, uh, I'll bring him a big bag of weed or something. Uh, I told my stories about, I told you guys my stories about weed. It's like doing LSD for me. I can't handle any of that shit, but,
Starting point is 00:54:48 but I was, as I was stumbling through that, I was looking at some of Joe's other interviews and I found one from a couple of years ago. He did with Leno, Jay Leno talking about mob stories. When, when the show biz was run by the mob and Jay is the best storyteller.
Starting point is 00:55:04 It's what makes them so fucking great. And I always love when, and this was when I missed one story that Jay had told about them. I think I had missed this one. I'd never heard it before, but, but listen to this funny story. Jay tells about one of the clubs he was working at that the mob was running.
Starting point is 00:55:19 It's like a benefit for a church or something, but here we go. So we're doing this thing. It's at a golf course. And they say to me, listen, there's a priest for a church or something. But here we go. So we're doing this thing. It's at a golf course. And they say to me, listen, there's a priest here. So keep your act clean. I said, yeah, okay, fine. So I go up and I do my little act.
Starting point is 00:55:35 Fine, thank you. Applause, applause. I sit down. So this gangster guy gets up. He goes, I want to welcome you all to this place. And what was I going to say? Oh, this place, and what's I going to say? Oh, shit, I forgot what I was going to say. And when he said shit, the priest went like this.
Starting point is 00:55:52 That guy goes, what? Hey, father! You got your ten grand in the fucking bag? Shut the fuck up! He just goes crazy in his gut. You shut the fuck up! And the place is just, everybody's just frozen with fear. This guy is just like crazy.
Starting point is 00:56:08 And the priest is like, he's holding his bag with the 10 grand in it, you know. And then he sits down. Whoa. So I'm sitting there and the guy goes, hey, Jake, come here. He goes, let me ask you something. You know Stallone, right? I said, well, I don't know him. Rocky had just come out. This is 1976. I said, I don't know him.
Starting point is 00:56:23 I mean, I met him. You know, we asked him to do this dinner, this benefit today. And he said is 1976. I said, I don't know him. I mean, I met him. You know, we asked him to do this dinner, this benefit today. And he said, no. He said, no. And I said, well, I mean, maybe he was busy. He wasn't busy! And he starts screaming at me. I go, you're right.
Starting point is 00:56:38 I'm sure. I'm fine. He goes, come on, let's play some golf. I said, I don't really play golf. You play golf! All right, I'll play golf. I'll play golf. So now we're in golf carts.
Starting point is 00:56:50 And we're in this golf cart. And we drive out to about the 12th hole. And we get to the 12th hole. And there are these kind of 50, 60-year-old prostitutes, topless, with leopard-skin print miniskirts, handing out drinks. It was like the craziest day of my life. But this guy was like a true psycho criminal. I mean, just one of those guys like a scene from Goodfellas. They just kill you.
Starting point is 00:57:12 You know, I always love movies where somebody threatens someone and they go, you're not going to kill me, Bob. Because I know you're not the kind of guy. No, no, they will kill you. They will kill you. And it just really made me laugh. Is that guy... The priest coughs
Starting point is 00:57:27 you got your fucking 10 uh i you know i caught i only had experience with that once uh new haven i was doing a club it was raining that night i get there i'm closing the show the show's at eight i get there at like 8 20 or 8 15 you know i mean the fucking feature act hasn't even gone up yet and the the owner was a guy a little known to have a few friends or whatever and uh of a certain descent and uh anyhow i go up and do my shit and then uh he hands me the envelope at the end. He goes, it's 50 light because you are late. Just the way he said it, I didn't even argue on it. That's okay.
Starting point is 00:58:12 And I wasn't late. I was fucking there a half hour before I was going on stage. But at that same club, I went in and it was like, I told you, his mom was snorting coke with the state trooper in the men's room but i did not say anything i i gladly took my envelope that was 50 light and um was on my way and then that club in boston uh was run by some fellas let's say when i was first coming up and uh i always stayed clear of the owner who made the hair stand up on my nuts. But Jay has a million stories like that.
Starting point is 00:58:47 It cracks me up. Anyways, kids, again, if you want to subscribe to the Nick DiPaolo podcast, go to connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. Come see me this weekend at Magoobie's Joke House. Sounds funny. Sounds like a bad room, but it's actually an A room. Guy Andrews done a great job with his club. We all play it.
Starting point is 00:59:12 It's outside of Timonium, Maryland. And I'll be there this Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. And then March 4th, I'll be at the Westport Inn in Westport, Connecticut. It's a treehouse comedy series. And then March 9th uh march 9 10 and 11 side splitters in tampa one of my favorites and hot comedy club and yonkers on the 24th of march 25th the co-host music hall in uh upstate new york i want to say albany co-host that's the name of the town isn't it sure it is uh then acme comedy club my favorite club in the nation uh march 30
Starting point is 00:59:47 31 and april 1 the great lewis lee runs that and i love it juniors comedy in erie pennsylvania april 13 14 and 50 governors april 21 and 22 go to nickdip.com for all those dates. Again, if you want to advertise on the show, go to contactnickdipatyahoo.com. And, yeah, we'll talk about rates and whatnot. Again, thanks for coming out to Boston, those of you who did. Thank you, subscribers and people listening today on iTunes. Had a great time, and I'll talk to you real soon. Hey, hey, I saved the world today And everybody's happy now
Starting point is 01:00:39 The bad things gone away Bad things gone away I'm not like that! I'm not like that! I'm not like that! I'm not like that! I'm not like that! Please let it stay Hey, hey, I saved the world today I'm not like that!
Starting point is 01:01:04 I'm not like that! I'm not like that! I saved the world today And everybody's happy now guitar solo I'm out.

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