The Nick DiPaolo Show - 176 - Snoop Assissinates Trump

Episode Date: March 14, 2017

Snoop Assissinates Trump

You're listening to Nick DiPaola Podcast Monday, the free version on iTunes, Stitcher, etc., riotcast.com. And if you like the show, I do two to three more shows a week for $3.99 a month at connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. And sign up. You'll love it. I have to thank my contributors to the show. As you know, subscribers contribute financially, which is the lifeblood of the show.

contribute financially, which is the lifeblood of the show. My boy Dino Cantillo. Joseph Rodriguez with a huge contribution. Thank you so much, Joseph. Jonathan Keller, as usual, nice fat contribution. Keeswood, new name in the bunch. Thank you so much, Keeswood. Steve Shedlock, also looks like a new name.

Thank you guys for subscribing to the podcast. Tell your friends, just the ones who have half a mind. What do you mean by that? You know what I mean. They're not offended easily and they're not sensitive and they don't give a shit about Woman's Day or anything else. Obama or... I kid. all are welcome anyhow i just got off the phone frustrating conversation with my agent and uh god i don't know i can't take it anymore um here's the well here's me and my agent this is a typical conversation between me and my agent.

It's not something like this. When have I ever let you down, you fucking rat? Are you fucking nuts? Telling Dorfli I offered you $100,000 when I told him I'd give him $25,000? Wait, wait, wait. When did you speak to him? What's the difference? When did you speak to Marvin?

He called me fucking, what, 10 minutes ago, yelling and screaming, telling me to go fuck myself. You're telling me, everybody's telling me to go fuck myself. You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it. Yeah, that's me. Anyhow, that's me and the agent going at it. That's what it sounds like a lot. Anyhow, just got back from tampa uh sidesplit is a killer gig the bobby jewel one of the class

legendary owners a guy could drink anybody under the table i know uh he's beaten all kinds of cancer and uh you just can't stop him he still smokes drinks like he's 11 um it's fucking frightening but um what a great time down there. Holy moly. Saturday night, first show. Colin Quinn's cousin, Dill, came out with a few people. Mike Kelta, the great, formerly known as Cowhead, was there with his beautiful wife. Packed house. Had one of the sets of my life.

Bobby Jewell, the owner, said maybe he goes one of the top ten. He said it was the best set he's seen in there in 10 years, at least a decade. And it was because the crowd, it was DiPaolo fans. A lot of DiPaolo podcast t-shirts in the audience and just people have had enough. Colin Quinn made a great point. I was talking to him on the phone today. And people used to come

out in the 70s to hear people speak about race and talk a lot about sex because you couldn't do that everywhere and anywhere. It wasn't as prevalent as, you know, as in today's society. So people would come out to places like comedy clubs to hear this type of shit. And that's sort of what's happening now since the left believes in censorship and is just, you know, just fucking ridiculous when it comes to minority LGBT, you know, the suspects who want to shut you up, whether it's speech codes on college campuses and even people on the left are saying it. I mean, you got Bill Maher complaining about how PC people are. And even

though they contributed to this environment, I've said it a thousand times that some of the people bitch and have no right to bitch because you fucking aided and embedded this type of mentality. But people are coming out and people who follow me i've been doing this a long time know what they're gonna get so they came out in droves and it was so refreshing and fun and uh first show friday night i come out on stage and there's a uh ugly white chick with her black boyfriend boy that's unusual huh and uh of course he has his feet on the stage um because he black he can do anything he want and so i immediately and it doesn't matter this is a pet peeve of mine it doesn't matter what color you are what gender get your feet off the fucking stage you're not in your fucking living room have some respect for the

performer so i say sir you know could you get your feet off the stage so his naturally his black reaction to that is uh he pulls his chair closer to the stage and puts his feet more on the stage and now i got his like from the knees down or on the stage and i make some cracks about naturally this is i'm black i can do anything i want bop bop bop and then uh he starts mumbling under his breath. He fucking looked half stoned. His eyes are half closed and he's got the fucking hat on and just just an advertisement for, you know, bad boy. And so I yap at him. Now he's chirping. I can't even understand him. He's like slurring to his girlfriend and she's telling him to shut up.

his girlfriend and she's telling him to shut up and uh then he gets up after like two minutes of my act seeing that i'm not going to put up with the you know he's not used to a white guy going hey what the fuck what are you doing um because he's in my house when he's in a comedy clip so he leaves and then uh his girlfriend stays about another three minutes and she's giving me the finger for some reason this is right at the beginning of the show. It only lasted a few minutes. Then she got up and left. Boy, didn't that fucking hurt the show, huh? But that's the world we live in. That's the fucking world we live

in. You got your feet on the performance stage. He asked you to take them off and you're, and it's not just a, I'm not just saying it because it was a black guy this time. I've had women do it and put their pocketbook on. Then you could, could you please take that off and their reaction is to fucking no go fuck you i can do what i want uh you know they confuse their needs and their wants with their rights it's my right i paid to get it the whole fucking world's a mess it really is but uh that's

how the but other than that it was a blast. What else was there? Oh, they were having an audition for some show. I come down in the hotel lobby, and there's all these hot broads hanging out with short skirts and a very attractive woman with a clipboard signing people up. And it turns out they were auditioning for some show that's not created yet. It's in the process of it. And why they'd be at a holiday and express in the you

know fucking tampa well on a saturday afternoon anyways at least it added a little scenery to the uh i'm sitting there and there's a big black dude in a uh in a suit i thought he's like he looked like a limo driver he had this suit on in the um nick what kind of stereotypical i'm just saying and but then i noticed he had a gold cross hanging off his thing. And he looks at me and gives me a nod and comes over. He thinks he recognizes me, thinking I'm an actor from whatever. And maybe he saw me on, I don't know. But he sits down, and then I start talking. I'm like, no, I'm a comic.

I'm playing the local club. And I made the mistake of telling him that I've done, you know, Louie and Amy Schumer, and I've been on TV, and I act, too. And he goes, oh, can I get your number? and like a fucking like like an 18 year old drunk girl i go sure i started to give out my cell number to this fucking stranger named frizelle and uh as i'm halfway through my number i go what am i doing so i changed the last couple digits just like a chick would in a club when i was hitting on her back in the day used to get home oh I met a hot chick.

I'm going to call her. And you get a Sunoco station. Motherfucker. But anyways, I talked to that guy. And then I asked the woman about the production, the woman that was organizing the auditions. And I said, yeah, you know, I just did a thing with De Niro, even though it was one-eighth of a second. And she goes, if you want to read a line or something. But she had kind of a cunty attitude.

I didn't like her. And I said, no, no, I was just curious, you know. But I don't know, she looked aggravated at me for even talking to her. But maybe that's me because I was in my bathrobe and my hair was standing straight up and I had bad breath, but maybe it was her just being a bitch.

I don't know. Saturday, first show. Yeah it was it was killer weekend again bobby jewel is such fun dude to hang out with and thank you mike kelter for coming out to the show with your beautiful wife amanda uh because uh radio guys always say that when you do morning radio yeah we'll come out and they never do but uh he's a staten island dude and it was killer and laurie pomanary I can't forget who was the feature act for me she has family down in Tampa

and asked me a few months ago if she could do this and I said sure because I've worked with her at Long Island at Governors and places like that brokerage so I texted Bobby Jewell

he went no I got somebody already and thank God Bobby texted me back a few days later going hey can she still do it because this guy pissed him off or something and laurie was killer all weekend smart funny jokes you're gonna see her i would say within a year i'll bet my life on it on either colbert or fallon or whatever conan perfect for that she's in her 20s. Kind of dark, funny.

They loved her. They loved her. And great joke writer, which is great. You like somebody who can write a smart joke because it puts the audience in the right frame of mind. And she did a killer job. So thanks, Lori. That is that. What the hell is going on in the news world? All kinds of shit.

And you believe they're just trying to undermine trump at every turn i just can't believe the headlines the fucking whether it's on tv and the paper it's just the outright subordination and and if we ever ever showed any of this negativity resistance towards jerkoff who was in the white house for eight years obama the world would come apart at the seams the disrespect the fucking outright nonsense uh well i guess snoop dog's got a new video now he's doing it with uh recently jumped on a rework of uh bad bad not good whatever the fuck that is and kate trinette is for single lavender i I don't know. Anyways, it's a video that he's in. And in the video, he assassinates Trump, who's dressed like a clown.

That's fucking... Here's some of it now. And you know I like Snoop. I'm not a hip-hop fan, but I do like Snoop's music. But again, he's just another gangbanger. Seems angry about white folk. Ha ha ha ha! That says it all, right? Stay black, pay back. Don't that say it all?

That pretty much was Obama's philosophy and anybody who fucking leans left. fucking reparations times 10 the last 50 years anyways yeah it's a video of course michael rapaport's anytime there's any anti-white chick on on michael rapaport seems to be around who i like by the way uh seen him on you know talk shows and shit he's a good actor and stuff but i don't know what happened to him if he was molested by a fucking albino, but he's always, you know, siding with hip hop and whatnot.

Anyhow, then Snoop says in like an interview with Billboard, nobody's dealing with a real issue with this fucking clown as president talking about Trump and the shit we dealing with out here. So I wanted to take time out to push pause on a party record and make one of these records for the time being. So in the climatic scene, Snoop pulls a gun on the Trump clown in a parking lot.

Later, a chain bound Trump tries in vain to join Snoop and his accomplice in smoking a blunt. It says, read Snoop's elaboration on the song and video concept below via Billboard. Let me read a little for you. The band that this motherfucker tried to put up, him winning the presidency, police being able to kill motherfuckers, more lies, and get away with it, fucking lies. People being in jail for weed for 20, 30 years and more lies. And motherfuckers that's not black

on the streets making money off it but if uh you got color or ethnicity connected to your name you've been wrongfully accused or locked up for it and then you watching people not of color position themselves to get millions and billions off of it it's a lot of clown shit going on that we could just sit and talk on the phone all day about but it's a few issues that we really wanted to lock into for the video like police the president and just life in general well you just hate whitey snope you hate the white establishment like most black people and uh you are a talent there's no doubt you're a musical genius but if you were born in any other country, you'd be a fucking janitor at a middle school and writing these tunes and singing them to yourself while you're cleaning toilets.

But you're in the United States of America and you're a multi-trillionaire. People actually look up to a pothead like yourself and a gangbanger who made it big. And that could only happen in this country that you fucking hate so much. And as far as the police you're going to call them tomorrow if somebody breaks into your fucking house uh so you know it's it's a usual fucking ignorance but but i i love that you can just depict a video of the president being assassinated and it's fucking hilarious meanwhile if you looked at obama or one of his family members the wrong way the fbi would be fucking knocking on your door or the IRS would be auditing you.

It's really fucking precious, this double standard we've created and the name of, you know, fairness. So, yeah. Remember Madonna? Didn't she threaten? Remember live on stage ever saying she was going to kill the president? But nothing happens. Isn't that funny? Isn't that fucking funny, huh? Imagine if Toby Keith

when Obama was an officer, yeah, I'd like to hang that fucking bitch. You think anybody would visit him? Oh, yeah. But it's Snoke. Snoke don't matter. He ain't going to hurt nobody. It's just fucking sickening. It really is. It really is. We are in free fall right

now, man. Free fall. It's sickening. You're a liar is we are in free fall right now man free fall it's sickening god damn right she is anyways yeah so that's snoop's latest and like i said he's the one uh fucking hip-hop guy who you know i think he's like he's funny as a motherfucker. Not here, but when he puts himself on Facebook live and shit, when he's at his house, remember he got pissed at the Oscars? We played that. But again, couldn't get away with it. Such a double standard. And once those double standards are eliminated,

and once white people can talk as freely as black people can, jokes about assassinating the president and shit, then I'll say, you know, we've reached equality. And nobody gets upset. But until then, it's all a con game. In my fucking mind. All right. What else going on in the world?

This is from last week. I don't know how I failed to touch on this. Mike Francesa. You know who he is. He's a WFAN sports guy for years. He used to be with Mad Dog Russo. Now he's on his own. And he's like the biggest radio

talk show guy in the country and uh me and arty used to prank had somebody call his show and actually it was one of our carlos that did it on his own but we used to play it on our show and then um you know prank called his mic show but anyways he got in hot water for saying that uh women could never coach a professional all men's sports team and shit and that was last week and i kind of missed it somehow i don't know but he was talking about a woman coaching an nba team and he said it would be a sad publicity stunt and i couldn't fucking agree more what are we doing ed? Remember Whoopi Goldberg and Eddie? It's about as close as you're going to get. Yeah.

Francesa believes in reality that a female coach would be eaten alive by male NBA players. Which is true. And especially the NBA. Because, come on, folks, let's be honest, huh? Or the NFL. Because these young dudes don't fucking respect bitches to be telling them how to run a basketball team and uh francesca says look it's difficult for men to do it which is true he's a fucking young you really think they're gonna listen to a woman and that's not even the point there's even a bigger point yeah whatever um he pointed the fact there's no women coaching men even at the collegiate level,

which I'm sure that'll change soon, whether it's fair or not. The point being, folks, my big point here is, yes, especially, you know, young guys just say they're not going to respect a woman enough. You know why? They don't even respect guys because there have been coaches who didn't actually make it to the pro level they won't even respect them um here's how it works in the in the perfect world the way it should work um i used to have this argument with manny the comedy seller club owner and uh he would have his point and i've had it with other comedy club

owners they they think they know stand-up as well as i do or anybody who's done it for a living you know for a long time they go well i've put on a million shows i know what works i know what and i go okay by that logic let's say you needed a uh you needed a heart transplant operation done on you are you gonna take the fucking doctor that watched uh 500 heart transplant operate or the one that performed 500 isn't there anything to be said about experience and that's why i fly off the handle when i see the the women's sideline reporters and shit and there's there's a guy out there who played in the nfl or college football that could use that job who is more qualified because he actually did it does that not count for anything experience anymore that's such fucking bullshit that's where you start number one and number two you could never control a bunch of young guys in a locker room there's no fucking

way i'm sorry i'm with francesa on this one don't agree with him on a lot but uh and he's taking all kinds of shit i guess he was punished i didn't even look that part of it up because it would make me too mad and i'd get dizzy i don't know if he gets suspended or fine i don't know but um you should be able to say stuff like that shouldn't you should be able to have your own opinion um francesa's side of the fact there are zero women in the collegiate level coaching extrapolating from there that a woman who would rise up the ranks at the professional level would not have the resume needed to demand players respect how do you fucking argue with that he says in male sports at the highest

level running running young athletes bringing them along on the college level, coaching them, teaching. You know why? Because you're not just coaching them. Like at the college level, those guys, and a lot of these guys come from broken homes and from poor neighborhoods and shit. And the coach is like a father figure. And I know that's not even popular anymore.

You don't need a father figure. You need a lesbian coach. It's the same. You know what I mean? The coaches act as mentors to these young guys even when i played football up at maine that that guy would you know bail you out of jail in the middle of the night or whatever i mean and and then set you straight and don't tell me a fucking chick is gonna do that i mean a woman i mean abroad i mean a girl. It's just ridiculous.

You've got to teach them to be disciplined. And again, and it has to do with the attitudes that have been developed over the years. But they've been developed for a reason. Francesa repeatedly mentioned that a woman would not be able to discipline and be at plays. Implying athletes not only... He says, implying that athletes, not he, have a mis misogyny problem i don't call it misogyny i just call it being a fucking guy he said the plays would not take theoretical women seriously and if one were to get the gig nancy lieberman is king's assistant and becky hammond asperges and it would be a publicity stunt so there are there are two women in the nba currently assistant coach assistant coaches

and i guarantee eventually through pressure political correctness or whatever but then there's another part of me let me let me think of this there's another part of me that like young i know young black dudes uh just to make a point and to stick it to you know republicans and whitey in general that would side with women just to make a point you know i mean just to you know just to make a fucking point and it would fail miserably in my opinion but uh i'm with francesa and not every job is, you know, this whole fucking thing about, well, everybody's qualified to do anything. Well, I wanted to be an NFL quarterback as a kid. Cut to me talking into a microphone, staring at my computer in the basement.

But I'm sorry. I'm just with him on that one. but I'm sorry I'm just I'm with him on that one I would just the PC has gone to a place where I didn't think it would have to go even to say a statement like that that that would be you know he doesn't he thinks it would be a publicity stunt and to catch all the flack that he's catching is just shows you the fucking psychotic

fascist left who if you don't agree with him, he should be punished. Anyhow, any here or here. Yeah. I mentioned the, well, it all comes into play because we just had the International Women's Day and a day without women

or whatever you want to call it. Did you enjoy yourselves, kids? I think I was on my way to Tampa when all that shit went down. I brought it up at one of the shows. think i have a clip of me in tampa at sides what is talking about it was just a quick blurb of uh off the top of my head when i came out a day without women and again i'm not anti-women i said it on the last show but if you're not a subscribe you wouldn't have heard it i my mom my my sisters, strongest people I know. My sisters have families and careers,

and I've never heard them whine about being a victim. They just went out and fucking did it. More energy, smarter than I'll ever be. I don't know how you can have a family and be a professional at anything. I can barely do this, stand up, and I don't have kids. And so, you know, that never gets brought up. Us guys realize that.

But to listen and to watch the news and stuff today and for the last 20 years with feminists, you'd think girls were having battery acid thrown in their faces here in the United States when they wanted to put on a bikini or something. It's just fucking asinine. But here's me talking about A Day Without Women. Oh, did you survive A Day Without Women? Holy Christ, I did.

The fucking planet almost shot, didn't it? Oh, they're with me. A Day Without Women. That was my fucking gay male friends called it Wednesday. Oh, they're with me. The day without women, as my fucking gay male friends call it, Wednesday. Shut those butts up. I would like a day without one woman, my fucking wife.

Touching my balls into a fine dust for eight hours at a time. Fucking feminists. See, every stop you're fucking whining. Do you ever shut your fucking hairy lips? I watch that protest on TV for like an hour. If it wasn't one broad, I would have

stuck my thumb in. You never see attractive feminists. You notice fucking mullets and nothing's happening. That's what they're angry about. They want to talk. I don't mean in them.

They want to talk. It's the biggest case of penis envy this planet has ever fucking seen. You want to be us and you're not. Get the fuck over it. Yes. It is. It's the largest case of penis envy this globe has ever seen. And it's so tiring. And don't we already have Mother's day valentine's day uh national secretary's week and any i mean what the fuck what are you what are you crying about

uh but you hear the acknowledgement when people laugh that's acknowledging the i came on i just said boy did you women's, and it gets a huge laugh. Why is that? Well, Nick, because those are all your fans. They think just like you. Well, it took me 30 years to get them. Oh, God help us. But, you know.

But then Laurie Parmentieri goes on before me and rips the place up, just proving. So I see equality in comedy. Sure. Anyhow, yeah, I would like to see it, though. I would like to see a woman try to coach an NFL team or an NBA team. I really want to see that. I really want it. I would say I would give it a month before one of them, you know,

one of the power forwards grabbed her ass or called her a bitch, whatever. I mean, it's hilarious that you could think that could work. And you're probably going, well, it's hilarious that you live in a country where it wouldn't work. I mean, Israel, they have female coaches. I don't even know if that's true. Let's stay on the subject, shall we? Because there's a state rep in texas i think it's in houston jessica farrar uh excuse me well she's proposing uh to penalize men for

masturbating yeah she's legislating uh aims to shake up to health state rep jessica ferrara says that men should have to undergo the same unnecessary and invasive procedures that she says texas women are subjected to under recently passed state laws so once again right off the bat she's making a mistake because in that statement she's implying that there's no difference between men and women. Biologically, you know, they're all socially constructed differences. And there's a picture of her. And once again, she looks like a tight end for the Philadelphia Eagles. And once again, another unattractive woman happy about gender inequality.

And, you know, again, none of them look like strippers. There's not one feminist out there that's above a seven. Okay. I'm not counting the famous ones who jump on the bandwagon after they have millions in the bank and become movie stars. Anybody could do that. But she's a Houston Democrat who's filled with bitterness because, again, she's chubby, has an 18-inch neck. She filed on Friday a House bill, 4260, which, listen to this, again, which would fine men $100 for masturbating and create a required booklet for men with medical information related to the benefits and concerns of a man seeking a vasectomy,

a Viagra prescription or a colonoscopy, so they'd have to read the book. In other words, I'll get to it in a second. the bill would also let doctors invoke their personal moralistic or religious beliefs in refusing to perform an elective vasectomy or prescribed viagra among other proposed requirements in the bill she's doing this knowing that it would never pass she's doing it to make a point it's a satirical in nature this stupid thing she's trying pass. She knows it's not going to be a law. But she thinks it's going to foster a deeper discussion about, you know, what women go through. And she's comparing, you know, masturbating, shooting a fucking load onto your couch. She's comparing that to an abortion.

And she's, you know, it's just fucking hilarious. Just how deep is your fucking hate hatred run 60 million abortions since roe v wade i really don't think you know i really don't think god it's ever gonna be changed you know what i mean and proposing a fine for masturbation farah says that if a man's semen is not used to create a pregnancy see it all do you understand i guarantee you she got laid three times in her life just looking at her and and she's hung up on this men's semen uh if it's not used to create pregnancy then it's a waste because that semen can be used and is to be used for creating more human life.

She's drawing a parallel between, you know, people trying to outlaw abortion, which is never going to fucking happen, by the way. Men have to answer for their actions and so forth. She sounds like Glenn Close, for Christ's sake. I'm not going to be ignored, Dan. In that movie, whatever the fuck it was called.

So listen to this. She says, men have to answer for their actions and so forth. Boy, is she an ugly bitter bitch. So if there's going

to be an omission, it would have to, in other words, shoot in your load, it would have to be done in a hospital where the semen could be preserved

for future pregnancies. In other words, she's getting to the eggs and all that shit. Or it would be directly deposited into the vagina of a woman see it wouldn't be hers though that's why she's upset in my opinion again the bill would also require a rectal exam before administering an elective vasectomy or colonoscopy procedure or prescribing viagra an exam that the bill acknowledges is medically unnecessary this broad is just fucking...

This is what she's doing. Okay, supposedly Russia hacked into our election. And this is what this twat's owner's doing. Oh, my God. Can you fucking give me a break? Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dick. Oh, come on. Let's keep...

Hey, keep this at a civil. Oh, come on. Let's keep, nay. Keep this at a Sybil. Oh, God. She's an outspoken proponent of abortion rights. You don't say. Farai has fought against Texas legislation mandating a 24-hour waiting period between a required consultation and receiving an abortion. Sort of like waiting for a gun. I bet you the waiting time is shorter in Texas for a gun. I'm sure she'll throw that in.

And another measure requiring women to have transvaginal ultrasound while listening to the fetal heartbeat before undergoing a procedure. She says that's a measure that messes with women's heads. They make the lady listen to the heartbeat. And again, I'm supposed to be joe righty i don't give a shit abortion i i'm not a big uh um i don't care either way i really feel like i don't have a dog in the fight and i've said it for a couple reasons because when i was young and actually um you know having fun in the sex scene being single. I was glad there were a couple of

Planned Parenthoods around. Let's put it that way. And I took that money that I used selling steak and seafood door to door and killed a few babies with it. But folks, I digress. That's what I did when I got out of college. That's not funny, Nick. No, I know. But I'm just saying I can't be a total hypocrite. And, uh, and like I said, when I moved to New York City, my view sort of changed about abortion. I saw homeless people that I didn't see growing up in Boston every three feet laying in their own piss. And I honestly gone, this sounds cruel and shit, but I'm like, that poor person is unloved, unwanted, probably doesn't even know his parents are probably better off aborted. Unloved, unwanted, probably doesn't even know his parents.

Probably better off aborted. Now, that sounds kind of harsh, I know. But anyhow, just had to point that out there. People make me out to be fucking Jerry Falwell. But listen to the fucking, listen to the mentality of this witch, especially with Trump as president. I think these folks are on fire now, she says. They're off the chain, she says, Farrar says.

If they can elect somebody based on making racist remarks and derogatory remarks towards women and such, then we've just given them license to offend and license to be even worse than before. So once again, she's calling me and everybody who voted for Trump. That's another way of calling you a dumb fucking hick,orable so she's perfect i guess right so did you just they've lost this shit this is a fucking state rep in texas oh my god help us. It's satirical in nature. She knows it would never become law, but she's making a point as illegals sneak into her country. Just, I don't know, lady.

I don't know. They're losing their mind. Yeah. What's going on? Oh, so we're trying to get to the bottom of this. You know, all the CIA leaks and whatnot, and the contractors who work for the CIA leaking shit to the mainstream media and the WikiLeaks dump,

all of that stuff, all of it. We're trying to get to the bottom of that. It's really interesting out there, isn't it? Jesus Christ. So what's going on here? What's the latest? Investigators are probing who may have provided WikiLeaks with classified information about the CIA's purported computer hacking techniques. They're zeroing in on a small number of contractors who have worked for the agency and may have

been disgruntled over recent job losses. See, this is how the real world works before you get on your high horse. Oh, that's not true. These guys are true professionals. These men and women that go to work for the CIA, and they would never do that. And no, no, no. Like I was saying on Joe Rogan's podcast, that's why we're never going to live in harmony, because us human beings are flawed as a species. You can't help. You're supposed to be objective, but you can't help yourselves, whether it's race, gender, politics. You know, these people vote in elections, too.

So don't tell me they're on a bunch of fucking not. Now, it makes more sense now. Disgruntled because they might have lost jobs when Trump took over. Now it's starting to, you know, or pissed at the CIA for cutting them loose. Authorities on Thursday, that was last week, questioned a handful of contractors working in at least two locations in the Virginia suburbs of Washington, D.C. in the Virginia suburbs of Washington, D.C. No arrests have been made, but one person familiar with the investigation said it was rapidly unfolding. This person added, listen to this, that a digital trail has pointed authorities, at least initially, to a team of software developers working with the CIA's engineering development group.

The group designs tools that, according to the documents released this week by WikiLeaks, the CIA uses to break into smartphones, personal computers, and televisions connected to the internet. The more than 8,000 pages of documents that WikiLeaks disclosed appear to have been taken last December from a server that the engineering development group uses. That's what this source said. Only a few contractors would have access to it. So they're hot on the trail on who might have dumped this shit to WikiLeaks. And that person is probably going to end up hanging himself or being whacked or something.

So keep an eye out because they're hot on the trail of whoever this is. In recent months, there's been talk of bad blood in the small world of CIA contractors who are vital to the agency's hacking projects. One group of contractors recently had been working for the CIA overseas and expected to be given new jobs with the agency in the United States, but their positions were later eliminated. Oh, those are the people you better hone in on. They were definitely disgruntled people internally, the person who was being interviewed said. Interesting, huh? Interesting. Eddie, your phone is tapped. Listen, I'm not going to use this line anymore. Go to Chen Lewis.

I'll call you there in five minutes. They can't run a tap that fast. So long, everybody. Tap the phones. Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks. You got that? Are you listening? People who have been questioned so far all have top secret level security clearances

and recently passed polygraph examinations, but prior leakers had also been investigated and deemed trustworthy enough to work in some of the government's most sensitive intelligence organizations. They'll find out. Somebody's got to be sweating bullets right now. And that's huge. That's huge.

It's huge. That's huge. It's huge. I actually came out on stage and had a little take on it. Again, these aren't full developed bits, but this was in Tampa. I talked a little bit about the CIA and the hack and how it's affected my life on the road. What a weird world, huh? Is there fucking hacking going on, the fucking CIA. I was gonna...

I'm all paranoid now. I'm in the hotel room this afternoon. I was thinking about rubbing one out. And then I noticed my TV's a Samsung. I'm like, I'm gonna put my dick back in my TV. That's fucking James Comey with headphones on. And Obama. Hey!

You know that right-wing comic? He's jerking them using a Russian accent. Oh, that feels so good. It is so good though, thank you. I'm in the closet next to a dirty iron board trying to wrap it. There's no way this can be bugged for price. Nobody's cleaned this thing in 11 years. I'm in the closet next to a dirty iron board trying to wrap it up. There's no way this can be bugged for price. Nobody's cleaned this thing in 11 years.

These people are so smart. These kids, Snowden and fucking, they can't get the, I can't even get into my own fucking email. Fucking Assange is grading my cock while he sits in a roman london somewhere it's true it's true and uh the you know regardless how you feel whether the traders are heroes and it's a tough call i i but when you're leaking all the the tools that the cia uses to protect us to keep us safe you know from terrorists and all shit. Now they know how we track them.

That really is, you know, that's serious shit, man, you know. But I don't like the idea either of the government fucking listening in to me and my wife chatting while we're watching Big Lies, whatever the fuck it is on HBO. Ever seen that one yet with David E. Kelly? Well, he writes this shit, but it's cracking me up. But yeah, you're watching TV and you don't know it's being used as a monitor to track your conversation. People are listening and kind of weird, ain't it? But again, why is all this happening now?

Let's get it out there. Let's have an investigation. Then we'll find out. And again, there hasn't been any evidence yet of Trump's election, you know, working in cahoots with Russia to win. There's absolutely none so far. So but let's continue it. He says that he was he comes out and says that Obama tapped his phones or whatever at the Trump Tower. comes out and says that obama tapped his phones or whatever at the trump tower and the only mistake he made there was to say obama did it personally like he had a jumpsuit on like he was you know

working for nixon and snuck into the hotel uh that's where he was you know but but if his phones were tapped or whatever if there's any evidence of that obviously obama knew about it but let's get to the bottom of all of it god damn it ah but they get upset they're going trump's lying he's got no evidence well the media lies every day so he's just saying i'm gonna lie back so finally it's getting really ugly out there that's how i look at it god damn it but uh can imagine if you're the person one of the contractors that used to work for the cia leaked this shit? They put you against a wall and shoot you like Sergeant Eddie Slovic. Who? Google it.

Very interesting, no? Yeah. So, I'm afraid. All these devices and shit. And you know who predicted all this? I told you, the Unabomber in his manifesto

was talking about the internet and the digital age and how, you know, he put a whole thing out there, how it's going to ruin the world. I haven't read it yet. I've skimmed over it. Right after I look at Barely Legal online and then hotlatinohuswives.net

and whatnot. What? I took, once again, I slept, and I'm not exaggerating, when I was in Tampa, I was there, what, Thursday night, Friday night, Saturday night, I slept on average about three hours each night. You don't think that's a long day when they wake you up at 6.15 to do radio,

when you go to bed at 1.15 in morning and i'm and that's early for me i shut the tv off knowing they were gonna pick me up at 6 15 and of course i wake up you know about 4 15 and i'm staring at the clock and i go back sleep like 11 minutes then i do radio and then i can't nap the rest of the day. I don't know why. You talk about a long, it's fucking horrible. And oh my God, it's fucking horrible. And then same thing, Saturday night, slept about four hours. It makes the road a fucking more of a nightmare than it is. So last night when I got home yesterday,

I passed out watching whatever, meet the press. You know, I save up all that shit while I'm gone. And I woke myself up snoring twice in a chair. But last night I was so fucking pale and dehydrated from the trip. It was really funny. I took a couple Advil PM because I'm a real rebel when it comes to drugs. And I do that because if I have two, three days when I can't sleep, I have to fucking knock myself out by artificial means.

Because if I go four days, then I become psychotic. Then they find my wife floating face down in the pond because she was eating chips too loud. I get fucking crazy. So I took two of those last night. Again, slept eight and a half hours. And you know what? Still feel like a fucking aborted fetus right now. Somebody help me.

I know, marijuana. I know. I know that's the answer. Marijuana. But I told you guys, I can't handle that shit. I can marijuana. I know. I know that's the answer. Marijuana. But I told you guys, I can't handle that shit. I can't handle that shit. I can't handle it. You can't handle the truth. I can't handle the motherfucker. I get nuts. But I might have to tap into my boy, Joey Rogan and maybe try that shit. If you're listening, folks, again, and you want to subscribe to the podcast,

you go to connectpal.com slash nick. Get two to three more shows a week at $3.99 a month. That's a buck a week. Do it. We got a bunch of sign-ups in the last two weeks. I don't know what... I do know. I did a bunch of media,

and that does help. I'll be honest. I doing i'm gonna call into crowd of skype into crowd his show on thursday i think thursday afternoon steven crowder not sure what time because he's in uh i think he's on central time and whatnot but aren't you dying to get to the bottom of this who leaked this shit find the bastards. But I just, the disrespect for Trump, and it's a world effort. The mainstream media, you got to watch those Sunday shows and laugh your balls off. They don't even try to be objective. All the questions teasing the beginning of the show.

Is Trump in free fall? Did he grab a kid's pussy at Disney World? That's how they like lead into the show. And then SNL piling on. Although SNL was pretty fucking funny this week, I have to admit. grab a kid's pussy at disney world that's how they like lead into the show just and then snl piling on although snl was pretty fucking funny this weekend i have to admit uh they were taking swipes it was uh but there was something in there oh it's kind of racial that i was laughing at a sketch about making a commercial for the olive garden and they were actually leslie jones and uh the guy was supposed to be directing the commercial. He goes, I want you to look at the past and go, oh, Lord, Lord, and like a stereotypical black boy.

They should do more of that, more of that shit. That's the way to peace and racial harmony. Poe rips both sides. It was pretty damn funny, though. I'm an SNL fan. Even when it sucks, I like it. Even in the worst years. With Tim Krasinski, whatever his fucking name is. Those are the lean years.

I still like the show. Still like it. Still like Michael Che, even though he shit on my hometown. And Colin Jost. Very funny. And I'm making a prediction. Scarlett Johansson will be coming out of the closet soon. Matter of time.

She'll be the hottest lesbian around. But matter of time. Although Ellen has a nice ass. If you look at it from a lateral, she's cleaning the gutters. It's kind of round. What the fuck does that even mean? You heard me me i'm kidding

she's scary anyways what the hell else finally today here on this week with george stephanopoulos how about this uh boy the world is heating up i mean it's been heating up for a while you know it really has but and hey let me ask you this If we tap into this whole WikiLeaks fucking horse shit and I guess one of the Russian ambassadors said, yeah, we talked to the Clinton campaign, too, during the election. So that's breaking news. But all over the world, we got these hotspots. And I saw this headline. The United States deploys attack drones to south korea amid tension with the north and by the north yes we don't mean montreal we're talking about north korea yeah united states started to deploy attack drones south korea today the u.s has started to deploy attack drone south korea after began to deploy an advanced anti-missile system to counter,

continue provocative actions by isolated North Korea. The drones, they're called Gray Eagle Unmanned Aerial Systems. Those are UASs coming to South Korea are part of a broader plan to shut the little zipper heads up. What? Brought a plan to deploy a company of the attack drones with every division in the U.S. Army. Good. North Korea has conducted two nuclear tests and a string of missile tests since the beginning of last year. That's because they had eight years of that feckless Marxist in the White House who wouldn't fucking had the balls to do anything. But North Korea has done that despite the imposition of new un sanctions

un is useless as my tits last week the u.s ambassador to the united nations nikki haley who i'd like to bang said washington was reevaluating uh its north korea strategy and all options are on the table you know that came from. She wouldn't say that on her own. She's too fucking... The Gray Eagle is a remotely controlled attack drone made by U.S.-based General Atomics.

They will be stationed at Kunsan Air Base, 180 kilometers, that'll be 112 miles, south of Seoul, and will be permanently based in South Korea. It's getting ugly out there, folks.

It's getting... North Korea are getting too big for their frigging britches. Weren't they? Yeah, let's listen to some of the tension between our ambassador from the UN

and fucking Kim Jong-il. Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today and your guards won't let me into certain areas. Hans, Hans, Hans, we've been through this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destruction, okay, Hans? Then let me look around so I can ease the UN's collective mind. Hans, you're breaking my balls here, Hans. You're

breaking my balls. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me see your whole palace or else. you let me see your whole palace or else or else what or else we will be very very angry with you and we will write you a letter telling you how angry we are there you go hot bricks how you like that you cocksucker you have any idea how busy busy I am, hot bricks? Well, fuck you. You want inspection? Well, inspect that, you butt-fucking piece of shit. So you see, tensions are rising all over the globe. And you know the sad part is Trump will get blamed for this too, you know? Like they try to blame 9-11 on George Bush.

Well, it was on his watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah okay let's ignore we were attacked at the world trade center fucking 17 years previous to that and uh they had been planning the fucking thing for you know forever but um i like it because see obama did nothing for eight years and trump's like no he talking to, he doesn't make these decisions. He talked to Mad Dog Mattis. And you know, Mattis and Kelly are like, no, we're going to fucking put drones over there,

nuclear fucking drones, and shut their little heads up. And that's the way the world works. It works best when we're running it, when the United States is calling the shots. Obama left more fucking vacuums that were filled by psychos. And don't tell me that's wrong.

Anyhow, I think that is it for today. You want to hear me and my wife fighting? About the thousand other fucking pigs you had your dick in over the years. The strippers, the cocktail waitresses. Were you best friends with all of them too? You fucking hypocrite. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore. And you know it.

Oh, I'm losing my mind. Yeah. All right, folks, that's about it. Again, go to connectpal.com slash Nick to subscribe to the show. And you subscribers, keep contributing financially to the show. I sound like PBS. Look at you sitting there, you cheap fucks. Send us $11. I mean, send her the Julia Child cookbook. Anyhow, contribute to the show financially. That's what keeps it going. I really don't charge enough to make anything here.

You know that. With my overhead, with my wife, she has a horse. And my cousin Teddy has a coke problem. Anyhow, kids, that is it from here. Supposed to hear from my agent, supposed to talk to you-know-who tomorrow, the people at Sirius Radio, and we'll see how that goes, and see our TV, and I'll keep you abreast of all that action. And go to nickdip.com, my website, if you'd like to find out where I'm touring. And I know this week I'm home, and I'm going to relax and find a room that's not being bugged by the CIA where I can spank it. And, oh, prepare yourselves for the blizzard.

Again, I don't know when you're going to listen to this, but as of tonight, at like 2 a.m. in the morning tomorrow, we're supposed to get hit with a real nor'easter. But again, we've heard this before, haven't we? And then you look out,

it's a dusting and you're disappointed that your nine-year-old neighbors didn't freeze to death. You're like, what the fuck? Have I covered it all? I think I have.

Yeah, that's it. Let's get the hell out of here Hey hey I saved the world today And everybody's happy now The bad things gone away And everybody's happy now Good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.