The Nick DiPaolo Show - 178 - Republicans Fumble Healthcare

Episode Date: March 28, 2017

Republicans Fumble Healthcare

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo onolo podcast on iTunes, Riotcast.com, Stitcher, all the other places, folks. How are you? Welcome to the show. If you like this show, the free version, and you really enjoy it, which a lot of people do, go to connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. You can subscribe. For $3.99 a month, you'll get two to three more shows a week.

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Alrighty. Alrighty, then. What a weekend I had, I'll tell let me this is what i do i recap the weekend because i'm a comedian that's how i make my uh it's my bread and butter still and uh it's what i do best was in yonkers at hot comedy club a sold out little room packed to the gills a really fun hangout i'm telling you if you're in that area go do it it was sold out i i make i do it once every you know month six weeks and it's really becoming uh a lot of fun it's something i look forward to it and you

know me i'm a bitter fuck who uh i've had enough of a lot of these clubs but that's not one of them so thank you guys for coming out there and uh nice job by tara canistrazi uh who was the uh feature act and then i was the feature act. And then I was the next night. I was in Cohoes, New York at the Cohoes Music Hall. Over 300 people. I swear to God, folks, I brag about the Suffolk Theater where I shot my special inflammatory, which is still on CISO.

And you can use Topalo as a promo code. Get a month free. Go do that. But Cohoes, this theater, Cohoes Music Hall, it's the fourth oldest entertainment venue in the country. Built in 1870-something. And you can tell it's true because the hallways are about, I'd say, about 12 inches in height and diameter. I don't know how small people were back then. What a beautiful, they've refurbished the inside.

Right now, it's at the top of my list for when i shoot my next hour it is a gorgeous theater the acoustics it has a balcony that wraps around it looks like an 800 seat theater but it plays like it plays like a hundred seat room and tommy nicky does a great job and uh you should go check that out if you live up there what a place to see live comedy and uh man did i have fun over 300 people showed up you guys i can't thank you enough that means so much to me it really does and um yeah it was just unbelievable and laurie pomateri did a great job opening for me and uh cody montaigne was the uh was the mc uh they both did a great job and uh yeah and it was nice because i didn't drive laurie drove she lives like in queens and she picked me up on the way to the gig so it was fucking great not having to uh i felt fresh when i got

up there you know not having to pay attention to the road. And you have to pay attention on the goddamn Taconic. So anyhow, yeah, what a killer, killer weekend to comedy. Made a little bit of scratch. Heading to Minneapolis on Thursday to do my favorite club in the nation, Acme Comedy Club. So if you're in the area, please come out to Acme Thursday, Friday, Saturday. It really is the best stand-up club. Why you say that nick because it has a low ceiling the guy that runs it just he has the audience is trained i've never had a problem there ever i've appeared there thousands of times and uh slight exaggeration but uh it's just a killer

club so this weekend uh what did i do? Oh, fucking last night. American Psycho was on a couple nights ago, so I just hit record because I couldn't watch it then. I was watching it last night when I was getting bored with other stuff, news and everything. And I'm watching it, and it dawned on me that this is who the Democrats think Donald Trump is. Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, played by Christian Bale.

It's one of my favorite characters of all time you guys i'm sure you've read the book or uh seen the movie that came out about 17 years ago i think so i i was belly laughing i it makes me laugh patrick bateman played by uh christian bale it is but this is who the dem, I really believe that's who they think Trump is. He's a psychotic, shallow guy. As you know, Patrick Bateman is a character. He plays a yuppie in the 1980s, which was known for materialism and just soulless people, which it really wasn't. I was in my 20s then. Well, a little bit.

I was sort of like Patrick Bateman, only I didn't kill any girls or fucking chop them up with an with an axe or anything i just you know i i got mad when they wouldn't sleep with me um but i was at the dance clubs and shit there you know the 80s was fun it was fucking fun and i'm telling you that's who the dems look at they think donald trump i'm telling you because trump was young in the 80s too he had all that money and shit. And I'm watching this going, this is who they think he is. I really believe that. I thought I had a clip. Don't even tell me I forgot that. Where's my Trump slash Patrick Bateman?

Maybe I didn't. Son of a gun! I pulled a couple of clips from it, and let's see if I can find it right now. This is when you need a, you know what? A producer. A dangerous situation. Let's see if I can find the... You know what? The producer. A dangerous situation.

Let's see if I can find the... I was belly laughing watching this fucking movie. If you haven't seen it... This for... Here's a scene where Patrick Bateman, very commercial, and before he kills his victims, he likes to put on music and give a little dissertation on what he likes about Huey Lewis and shit, and then he takes an axe to some guy. Is that seen?

Oh, God, help me. This, four, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is Hip To Be Square. A song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity and the importance of trends. Hey, Paul! Ah! Stop getting in renovation and door skin now, you fucking stupid bastard! He's got a fucking rain suit on.

He sneaks up behind this guy in his living room and chops him up with an axe. But I couldn't help but thinking of President Trump in the 80s with a fucking zillion dollar condo in New York. And, you know, and I like to grab pussy, that type of, uh, uh, I got that, uh, I think I have that, uh, uh, maybe I don't. I thought I had another clip of, uh, yeah, I do. Here it is. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins' solo career... This is too Horkus he's talking to. ...wants to be more commercial,

and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight and Against All Odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it. Talking about the other hooker's asshole. Don't tell me that's not who fucking Trump is to Nancy Pelosi and everybody else. Oh, my fucking... I'll get to the big news. Obviously, since I talked to you last, the Republicans fumbled health care big time. And, of course, I watch all the Sunday morning shows.

And that means it's the biggest political failure in the history united states according to chuck todd and steppenopolis and it means the end of trump's uh presidency there's no way he can come back but but but i couldn't believe the piling on and the hyperbole and the horseshit coming out of the uh come guzzling left oh it was just it's just over he might as well quit he might as well and if that doesn't do him in they're gonna fucking they're still looking for the russian connection they'll make shit up before they let it go so this is um we are living in unbelievable times but before and more importantly uh news broke over the weekend that the oakland raiders will be moving to vegas it looks like it's probably official this morning I'm not sure and you're like who gives a fuck I do I love the Oakland Raiders as a kid you know along with my shitty

Patriots back then but I love the Raiders because they had the dirtiest reputation Jack Tatum George Atkinson filthy cheating John Madden he headed up a bunch of hoodlums they would get arrested on the weekend Kenny Stable was a drunk yet they were in the playoffs every year. And, yeah, they're going to go to Vegas, which sort of fits their personality a little bit. But, excuse me. The autumn wind was a raider. The autumn wind is a pirate. What? Blustering in from sea with a rollicking song, he sweeps along, swaggering voicelessly.

His face is weather-beaten. He wears a hooded sash, with a silver hat about his head, and a bristling black mustache. He growls as he storms the country, a villain big and bold. And the trees all shake and quiver and quake as he robs them of their gold. The autumn wind is a raider, pillaging just for fun. He'll knock you round and upside down and laugh when he's conquered and won. side down and laugh when he's conquered and won. That was the great John Facenda,

who everybody tries to imitate today, and they don't even come close. Especially that guy on Fox with the NFL today. Next up, the Patriots take on the New York Giants. He sounds like a fucking FM. Sounds like a fucking announcer at a titty bar. Shannon to the center stage. Shannon, come on, fellas.

Reach in your pockets. Anyhow. Yeah, so they're expected to have enough votes from NFL owners to approve the move to Vegas, according to Adam Schefter. The owners are expected to vote on the Raiders' proposed relocation. Oh, 2 o'clock this afternoon. They're going to let Commissioner Goodell told ESPN's Sal Palantonio that the voting outcome on the Raiders' proposed relocation. Oh, 2 o'clock this afternoon. They're going to let... Commissioner Goodell told ESPN's Sal Palantonio that the voting outcome on the Raiders' move to Vegas will be positive. So I guess that's going to happen.

I think we will have a vote, and I think we will have a positive vote. Well, positive to who, Goodell? How about the poor people in Oakland? That's all they have is the Raiders, even though half the crowd is felons and druggies and junkies, which is I still fucking love. Can't take that. It's a great sports town. Leave them be.

But of course, you know how money comes into play. I'm sure they're not positive about it. But Goodell says, I think we're in pretty good shape. City, county and state officials have pledged 750 million in public funding toward a new stadium in Las Vegas. public funding toward a new stadium in las vegas uh raider owner mark davis needs at least 24 yeses votes from the 32 owners to leave the city his franchise has called home for 45 of its 58 seasons including the past 22 which i cannot fucking believe that they well the past 22 does that include la have they been in oakland 22 years since they went to la they probably have i'm gonna be dead soon i can't believe how fucking fast time is flying

seems like they just went back to oakland 10 years ago to me mother of christ somebody help me cowboys owner jerry jones said sunday that monday the start of the nfl spring meeting in phoenix he said it's going to be an exciting day for Vegas. So I guess it's a done deal. Anyhow. Yeah. But you guys, isn't that a little creepy? I talked about this with W. Kamar Bell briefly because he's an Oakland guy.

And he brought up the point, and a few other people have too, that, I mean, really? Do you want an NFL team that close to Vegas? You know what I mean? Fucking. Do you get it, folks? The quarterback on Saturday night goes over to, you know, MGM Grant and meets with a few, you know,

Maya Lansky types. And you know what I'm saying? Do you get what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? All of a sudden, the line moves two and a half points. Nobody can explain why other than they saw, you know, Jay Cutler leaving Bally's at two in the morning with the fucking the guy who runs the sports book. I mean, you're asking for trouble there. Not to mention the pussy and the alcohol and the fun. But Vegas and the Raiders, if they had to leave Oakland, you know, it's a good corrupt, you know, the city of sin, for Christ's sake.

You know, if you don't want Muslims moving here, that's what you do. You bring them to Vegas for the weekend and just let them watch the debauchery. And then they'll go, you know, this really isn't for us. Let's head to Mecca. What time is that plane leaving? Let them make up their own mind. So anyways, i wanted to get that out of the way because i'm an nfl fan i'm a football fan you know that i fucking love it

i love college more than the nfl but that that i feel bad for the raiders fans my condolences anyhow how about uh the mainstream media now the big thing is that trump may be guilty of treason according to the uh democrats and the mainstream media and i'm gonna show you how they perpetuate such fucking horseshit hey who knows but i think i know i think i mean clapper already said there is no evidence of correlation with the uh of cooperation i should say with the trump campaign and the russians but a few people have said that and that's really sad. Now they're going to think of Adam Schiff. I hope that fucking guy dies in his sleep. He's got that

punchable face. He had to be picked on as a kid. He had to be. I'm hoping he was because it was down payment for the scumbag he turned out as an adult. I have never obstructed justice. And I think, too, that I can say that in my years of public life, that I welcome this kind of examination because people have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I'm not a crook. I've earned everything I've got. He's lying. I am not. You are.

So you. Yeah. They're saying he's lying. I am not. You are, so you big. Yeah, they're saying he's worse. Trump is worse. This will be worse than Nixon if there was collusion between his campaign and the Russians. And they are going all in times 10, the Democrats on this shit. They are trying to take him down. Take him down to Chinatown. I got my eyes on you.

Hillary Clinton's former campaign manager. Yeah, I want you to notice the names in this article. And who's saying that he's guilty of colluding with the Russians to win the election. Just take note of who these people are and how close they were. How about Robbie Mook? That little girl that ran. He only ran Hillary Clinton's campaign. He was the campaign manager.

And, you know, him and his... He says that, yeah, he should be prosecuted for treason if evidence emerges of coordination with Moscow during the presidential campaign. Wouldn't we know something by now? A day later, Michael Winship. Who's Michael Winship? He's a senior writer for BillMoyers.com,

who's Bill Moyers is another fucking lefty turd. He wrote, Michael Winship wrote an opinion piece. It was titled, There's a Smell of Treason in the Air. Winship is a former senior writing fellow at the progressive advocacy group Demos, which is financed by, guess who? That's right, fucking George Soros. We all know he plays fair. He's the one that sent goons to the Trump rallies during the election to start fights.

He paid for all of it. The title of Winship's article, meanwhile, comes from a quote in The Washington Post. So do you see how somebody starts, puts out a provocative headline, and then this guy grabs onto it, and then Michael Winship, he gets it from the Washington Post. The title of his article came from the Washington Post last week provided by presidential historian Doug Brinkley, who told the newspaper

there's a smell of treason in the air. And imagine if J. Edgar Hoover or any other FBI director would have testified against a sitting president. It would have been a mind-boggling event. Winship went on to compare the hacking of the DNC to the Watergate scandal under the Nixon administration. Then on Thursday, Nicholas Kristof, you know him, he writes for the New York Times, right? He wrote an op-ed in the New York Times using the same title as Winship. So this is, do you see? This is the anatomy of a fucking rumor that turns into a lie.

And if they keep saying it long enough, there's enough dummies out there who will buy into the lie. Sort of like Black Lives Matter and Michael Brown had his hands up. They kept saying it over and over again until they actually started a group. And that's how they work. In cahoots with the mainstream media and that's why the left will always be relevant no matter how stupid their ideas are no matter how anti-american they have the fucking mouthpiece they have the blow horn i don't know how you not know that at this point if you follow any of this shit um yeah so christoph uh using using op-ed he uses uh the same title also citing brinkley's quotes from the washington post christoph starts off his piece titled there's a

smell of trees in the air by uh citing president nixon well we just did that didn't i the greatest political scandal in american history he says says may have been nixon's secrets i'm paraphrasing uh secret efforts in 1968 to sabotage a u.s diplomatic effort to end the vietnam war like a windship kristoff tries to link trump to nixon in order to make the treason argument kristoff relied on his own and and this is in quotes, intelligent experts, who mostly, but not entirely, believe that there is a Trump-Russia connection. This is what he wrote. I've been speaking to intelligence experts, Americans and foreigners alike, and they mostly, but not entirely, believe there was a Trump-Russia cooperation of some kind. But this is uncertain.

It's prudent to note that James Clapper, the intelligence director under Barack Obama, said that as of January, he had seen no evidence of collusion, but that he favors an investigation to get to the bottom of it. Of course he does. Kristof claimed he was told, and not by a Democrat, he says, that there's persuasive piece of intelligence on ties between Russia and a member of the Trump team that isn't yet public. Hmm. What are you holding it for? Kristof speculated the most likely scenario for collusion seems fuzzier and less transactional than many Democrats anticipate. Despite there being no evidence of significant Trump investments in Russia,

Kristof then guesses at what it might be alleged trump investments in russia whatever um so they're going to keep pushing this line you know and he goes on the times call kristoff goes on to channel winship and also demands the same talking point a public and bipartisan investigation by an independent commission and then uh ted lu you know the, the Democrat from California, Asian fella, just a hateful motherfucker who hates his country even more than Barack Obama did.

He warned Friday of a cloud of treason. See, he picks up on the narrative. And this is how they turn it into the truth, even when we don't know yet. Pretty soon they'll be saying, this is me talking now, in a few months,

if you don't buy into this, it'll be the same thing they did with climate change. It's already settled. We know he's a fucking, we know he cheated. If you don't agree, you're an outcast. This is how they work it. Ted Lieu, okay, he's a fucking representative from California. And he said there's a cloud of trees that hang over the Trump administration. The bombshell revelation the U.S. officials have information that suggests

Trump associates may have colluded with the Russians means we must pause the entire Trump agenda, he said. Ah, now we get to the true motivation. Huh, folks? They want to use this to shut down his agenda. They come right out and say it, that he shouldn't be able to

appoint the next Supreme Court judge until this is all cleared up. They're just trying to throw a cog in the wheel. Because the truth is, he got a lot done before this health care fumble. And he's moving too fast for these guys, in my opinion. Lou called for the total and complete shutdown of Trump's legislative agenda. Fucking asshole. shutdown of Trump's legislative agenda.

Fucking asshole. We may have an illegitimate president of the United States currently occupying the White House, Lou said, as he finished his chicken and broccoli. Nick, that was a cheap shot at an Asian. Yeah, whatever. Just fucking had to say something. I'm very irritated. Congress cannot

continue regular order and must stop voting on any Trump-backed agenda until the FBI completes its Trump-Russia collusion investigation. Do you know this investigation can be strung out for the next fucking five years if they wanted it to? So do you see the real motivation? Huh? They just want to stop Trump from getting anything done. How about this, though? He seems like a nice guy, this Mr. Lou. Last week, he tweeted that Trump, and this is what he put in the tweet, you truly are an evil man.

Why didn't anybody say that about Barack Obama, that lying motherless fuck? I can't believe that we sat on our hands and were so polite to him, and he's still behind the scenes trying to bring down Trump. I don't give a shit what anybody says. Oh, and by the way, I watched the Sunday news, and this was the whole, obviously the headlines and first you know health care the fumble on health care and now it's over for him and then they discuss this the investigation and collusion with the right nobody nobody i think chuck todd

brought up at the very end of the show about uh the wiretapping thing and how there might be a smoking gun he mentioned that with about three minutes ago go in his show. But I don't think ABC, a Stephan Offaly show, they didn't even mention it once. I don't think. And guess who else is weighing in? Jennifer Palmieri. Palmieri, sorry. Director of Communications for Hillary's

campaign. See, so you see who's really bitter. The people who fucking, the people who blew the fucking, they blew it. They fucking blew the election. You blew it! You blew it! Exactly. She also referenced treason. So you see how they get together?

They go, this is the fucking talking points for the weekend. She says, if Clinton had won with the help of the Russians, the Republicans would have impeachment proceedings underway for treason, she contended. No doubt. Instead, dealing with Russia

falls nearly solely on the Democrat's shoulders. So to her, the case is already closed. She writes that Trump won because of a Russian plot, like it's an established fact, according to her.

Of course she's going to have that line of reasoning because she failed on a fucking huge scale. like it's an established fact, according to her. Of course she's going to have that line of reasoning, because she failed on a fucking huge scale. Oh, that dirty cocksucker. She's a twat. And so is Robbie Mook. You had a gay fella and a woman running the campaign,

and they fucking lost the biggest campaign ever for the democrats that's a real strike for affirmative action and lgbq fucking so that's the line that's the line they they got the fucking they oh my god they just want to shut down they don't want them to do anything until this investigation is over. That Adam Schiff, what a little weasel he is. I'm not done. There was a few more people that weighed in. Oh, you know who else weighed in on Friday? Carl Bernstein.

Remember he broke the Watergate story with the other dope? He slammed Trump as more treacherous than Nixon. And then the little midget weighed in. Remember Bill Clinton's Labor Secretary, Robert Reich, who sits on like three phone books every time he does a show, and his little feet are dangling under the table? Well, you know who he works with, don't you? He's working with the Soros-financed MoveOn.org,

and we all know that they're very right down the middle neutral, correct? Well, he penned a piece published in Newsweek. I don't know who the fuck's still reading that. Arguing Trump Supreme Court pick Neil Gorsuch shouldn't be confirmed until Trump comes clean about alleged ties to Russia. Yeah, hold your breath there, you midget. He's so short. I saw him on ABC this week.

He was on George Stephanopoulos' shoulders. And Stephanopoulos is only 4'6". Together they made a full-grown male. But do you see the motivation, folks? Just to throw a monkey wrench into Trump's presidency. Just paralyze him so he can't do anything. Yeah, MoveOnOrg has a petition calling for Trump's agenda to be shut down. Fucking eat shit.

Fucking leftist cocksuckers. I'm not going to do that to my president. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt. You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. You really don't. You really don't.

Go get him, Donald. I don't even give a shit at this point. We are in a fucking weird territory in this country politically. I don't see a civil war not happening. I don't see.

They always used to say what the center can't hold. Well, it collapsed a long time ago. Let's get out in the streets and have it the fuck out. I like my chances with my red states where everybody has a gun. The mother, the father, the 11 kids. We start in the Upper West Side and we spray those fuckers and then we go to williamsburg and we continue on then we march west uh so that's the thing that's the plan and the mainstream media is right in cahoots with the democrat party and chucky schumer was all over tv

he's so fucking bad he's good he's such a partisan jerk off and that fucking big shit-eating grin of his he makes trump look like a bad salesman he's such a bullshit artist loves that camera he eats it up eats it up god he was all over tv fucking guy should have his own show um so yeah so health care there's no doubt they fucking blew it. But now there's a theory out there that Trump set up Ryan. So he'd hang, he put Ryan out to dry because you got to remember, Paul Ryan said some shit there in the campaign that he said he'd never defend Trump after a few things when the pussy tape came out and all that shit.

And, um, but I, I'm sorry. And I think Trump is a great business guy shit but even he's i don't think he's that politically savvy that he did all this to hang ryan out to dry that doesn't mean he can't use it now to his advantage if if that plot's true steve bannon was behind it steve bannon to me is i mean trump's definitely a great negotiated businessman but Steve Bannon is way more politically savvy and I think he's the one the guy behind the curtain like the guy in Wizard of Oz pulling if this

you know if this is true this theory I don't even think they're that clever though maybe I don't know politics is a fucking blood sport man but I don't know where Paul Ryan goes from here but the fucking republicans huh you got control of the house the senate the fucking white house you've been yapping about

obamacare repealing it and you fucking fumble you fumble on the first play of the super bowl the kickoff you fumble on your own one but it does not shut down his presidency and all this other horse shit. It's just going to make it tougher. But I don't know what to believe because President Trump was saying not blaming Trump. And I mean, excuse me, not blaming Paul Ryan. And I don't know. I don't know who to believe. He was a little he was a lot humbled for Trump. But he also said this about the Republicans and him fumbling health care right out of the blocks.

He also said this. He tried to put like a positive spin on it. If you lean right in your politics, it's positive. And I think the losers are Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer, because now they own Obamacare. They own it, 100 percent own it. And this is not a Republican health care. This is not anything but a Democrat health care. And they have Obamacare for a little while longer until it ceases to exist, which it will at some point in the near future. And just remember, this is not our bill. This is their bill. I think, you know, I was very clear because I think there wasn't a speech I made or very few where I didn't mention that perhaps the best thing that could happen is exactly what

happened today, because we'll end up with a truly great health care bill in the future after this mess known as Obamacare explodes and then uh pelosi responded oh that dirty cogsucker they were out gloating all over tv sunday just crowing fucking they couldn't be happy chuck todd the fucking weasel on meet the press. He shows Paul Ryan, you know, saying, yeah, we blew it. I'm not going to lie to you. This is a tough blow. And then he shows Paul Ryan's team, who he picked, I think, Wisconsin in the March Madness,

gets beat on a fucking shot at the last minute. He shows that, too. And somebody at the table goes, no, you're kicking them while he's down which is exactly what i say well as they are so fucking happy and uh to me it just it it shows that they're threatened by what what trump has done since he's come into office and um it's so it's just fucking crazy isn't it but then there's more to the story, so Trump say he was on there saying it's not Paul Ryan's fault, blah, blah, blah. But he also tweeted out like Saturday night. He put out a tweet saying, watch Judge Jeanine Pero show on Fox News. It's all the tweets that I think she has a show on Sundays. And so we put that on. And this is Judge Jeanine.

And so we put that on, and this is Judge Jeanine. Paul Ryan needs to step down as Speaker of the House. The reason? He failed to deliver the votes on his health care bill. The one trumpeted to repeal and replace Obamacare. The one that he had seven years to work on. The one he hid under lock and key in the basement of Congress. The one that had to be pulled to prevent the embarrassment of not having enough votes to pass. Okay, that's fine. But why are you talking to us like we're fucking retarded, Judge Jean? Take it down a notch. You're way over the top with your delivery. She's a piece of ass for a woman her age, too.

Good looking, but what's with the fucking don't talk to us like we're fucking severely retarded when we're just mildly retarded? Take it down a fucking notch, will ya? Good looking woman, too. Hey, where are the white women at? I'll tell you. Again, this is coming from a fella in his 50s. You guys who are my fans out there.

What the fuck you talking about, man? She's in her late hundreds. Bullshit. Relax, folks. But take it down, judge. But what does that mean? Trump said watch her show. And then she opens the show with that fucking uh so uh mr president you know i usually try to back you but come on that one's

hard for me to believe saying it's a coincidence i think sean spice it is coincidence he just happened to say watch the judges show which it might be but that's fucking even hard for me to swallow you know maybe it's but then again trump wouldn't be afraid to say that paul ryan failed would he i don't know i don't know excuse me i just had uh four uh scrambled eggs and they're kicking up uh again folks if you like this show go to connectpal.com slash nick connectpal.com slash nick subscribe for two to three more shows a week $3.99 a month that's a buck a week don't tell me you don't have the fucking cash what are you homeless get off the fucking park bench empty your diaper and pick up the phone that's not how you order you go online anyways uh so what do you believe

i don't know he said to tune into our show and then he she's on the crow and how paul ryan needs to step the fuck down she said i want to be clear this is not on president trump nobody expected a businessman to understand the nuances of washington which i agree with by the way that's what she said pierro later claimed that she did not collude with the White House on her biting remarks against Ryan. She said, I want to be perfectly clear. Pirro told two guests, he and I absolutely no conversation, no discussion, no email, nothing. Well, OK, I guess.

Jesus Christ. And that would be easy enough to find out, wouldn't it? Jesus Christ. And that would be easy enough to find out, wouldn't it? As I'm reading this article, there's like a headline right in the middle that says, Paul Ryan pledged, past tense, to never defend Trump in pre-election recording. Anyhow. So, yeah, I don't know who you believe there.'s a good cop bad cop thing going on but uh trump did uh publicly praise paul ryan for working very very hard and pin the blame

on the democrats which i just played for you uh he says repeatedly repeatedly, he said, I don't blame Paul and a surprise phone call to the Washington Post on Friday night. Meanwhile, Trump's aides reportedly suggested Ryan was at the heart of the failure.

So I think it's a good cop, bad cop. I'll say this, you guys say that. I mean, that's pretty simple, isn't it? Isn't that politics 101?

Hey, what the fuck do I know? I was telling dick jokes in Cohoes, New York, ladies and gentlemen, but I'm just saying. It's fun, isn't it?

It really is. It's like a soap opera. But the mainstream media is just, they couldn't fucking Chuck Todd and Stephanopoulos. They had to put a towel over their lap while they were doing the show to hide their tiny erections. They couldn't have been happier. And all the douchebags sitting around the table high-fiving each other, finger-popping each other, grabbing each other's nipples, grab-ass, laughing, slapping. I hope it comes back to bite them. I really fucking do.

They are all in like I have never seen in my life. Just, yeah, they are so corrupt. Anyhow, and here's more example of bias in the news you guys we talked about the rape at rockville high school rockville maryland last week alleged rape of a 14 year old girl by two illegals and we talked about it everybody talked about it did everybody talk about it no not everybody did you know who talked about it fox Fox News Channel. But the New York Times did a story, and they even agreed in the article saying it went virtually uncovered on CNN, MSNBC.

You know, the rapists were 17 and 18 years old, and they put them in a fucking freshman class and allegedly raped a 14-year-old girl. They forced her. They sodomized her first to perform oral sex. People could hear her screaming. They found the cops found blood, DNA

at the scene of the crime. But that's not national news according to fucking CNN and MSNBC. And if you're still watching that, you're part of the fucking problem. Okay? Fox News covered it.

But CNN, NBC, I don't think even ABC or they probably weighed in, but you know why they didn't cover it? The left-leaning channels? Because it doesn't fit their political narrative. We can't let people know what's really going on because it would make Trump

right, right? His extreme vetting. Everything he says. Some of them are rapists. Yeah, exactly. You think MSNBC's ever gonna put that on? CNN? And the New York Times are calling them on it.

Good for them. Left-leaning networks left their viewers uninformed about the rape case, according to the Times. Writers John Koblen nick uh corisanti said unlike the other networks fox news gave considerable time to what they called yeah this is what this a rape case in maryland they added that viewers would not have heard about the Rockville rape if they had turned to CNN or MSNBC, where the case was virtually uncovered on those networks. The Times also said that Fox News is accurate in criticizing the other networks for not covering the issue, according to an in-story fact check by the paper. okay so i i you know you can make fun of fox news all you want and all that fucking horse shit but um explain this one for you people who watch msnbc and cnn please do even though that's why your numbers are minuscule um that's not a national story let me ask you a question

what if it was a uh immigrant uh a 14-year-old girl, raped by two white kids, two 18-year-old white boys? You think that would have made fucking MSNBC or CNN, ABC, CBS? You think that would have made the fucking, those stations? Two white kids maybe raping a little Hispanic girl? Are you shitting me? It will be around-the-clock coverage. They could start their own channel,

like, you know, investigative 48 hours. But again, it doesn't fit the narrative of MSNBC, CNN, you know? We have to keep it alive that this country's, you know, it's a horrible, racist place

and that you're a bigot if you don't want all these people, these scumbags to come into the country. And by the way, her blood and whatever, they're seen as in Obama's hands too for fucking all the scum he let in. That's going to happen too down the road. All those fucking scumbags and all the slime that came from Central America, and that doesn't mean everybody that came over, but there's going to be a crime wave, just like it's happening in Sweden. That's a matter of time here. And you can thank Obama for that.

So. Yeah, it's unbelievable what that little girl went through. 14 fucking years old. Make me crazy. Fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. Some of us do. Some of us do, ladies and gentlemen.

So I told you about Sirius Radio and how that's going to happen. And it looks like, again, in show business, until the paperwork is done, nothing's a sure thing. But, you know, 99%. Also, there's something called CRTV. I don't know if you guys are familiar with that. I think it stands for Conservative Review TV. I know Crowder is on it.

Mark Levin heads the lineup. Michelle Malkin, some real big names. And they want me to shoot like a pilot. They have a studio up in Burlington, Vermont. That's not where I'd work out of it. That's where they happen to have some space up there available to shoot a pilot within the next couple of weeks. And so I'm pursuing that too. And again, it's not that I'm a conservative, but compared to everybody in show business, I guess I am.

So to me, again, it's not about being conservative, it's about being honest. You're either politically correct or you're honest. Those are the two choices. And the political correctness does not come from fucking my side. The people that lean right. The speech codes and shutting down free speech and not reporting shit that doesn't fit the political narrative.

That comes from the left. That's how they play ball. But if you like it, subscribe to CRTV. It's like a Netflix, a political Netflix for people who lean right in their politics is the best way to describe it. And it must be doing something right because Levin was he was in the middle of national conversation about this whole wiretapping thing. He's the one who fucking laid it out. Right.

So I'm going to only my show would be, you know, sort of tough crowd ish. I'm gonna only my show would be you know sort of tough crowd ish uh you know I mean well we could have on some you know some fucking idiots and argue and yell at each other and I'll do a monologue and uh and it'll be nice and mean the way I like it I like to throw firebombs too you know anyhow any he let's move on to this country that is so goddamn confused this is the headline here and i it makes me laugh because who didn't see this coming female athletes crushed by women who were once men there's your transgender shit coming into focus who didn't see this coming um biological males are joining women's teams, smashing records, and dominating in sports such as weightlifting, softball, cycling, track, wrestling,

football, volleyball, dodgeball, handball, cricket, golf, basketball, and mixed martial arts. Didn't you see this coming? How did you not see it coming, huh? How did you not see this coming? I can do anything better than you. Oh, you can't though no you can't because you got smaller bones you have less fast twitch fiber and sooner or later I'm greater than you yes I am yes I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am. No, you're not. Yes, I am. Cut to that, to this.

Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Ah, that's where you superior to men, in bed. And a lot of other things. I have always said this. I don't want to be a misogynist. Women do a lot of things better than us, and we do a lot of things better than women. It's the way God wanted it, if there is a God. I don't know. I still haven't decided yet. Talk to me when I'm laying in my adult diaper, and I'm 76. Anyhow, but that's what's happening. uh guys that used to be guys that are now women but i still think they

have balls in the cock i still think and uh and they're jumping into women's sports and dominating which again if you know anything about biology you can't fucking why would you be surprised the movement for equality is apparently inspired transgender athletes to join teams of their preferred gender see that i should join a hockey girls hockey team tomorrow and be the leading score. And that often means biological males are competing against biological females on women's teams. But in the world of sports, critics argue equality between the sexes simply doesn't exist.

Jesus Christ, I can't believe we're still having this fucking argument. Are we really? Oh, you do, though. You do. Physiologically speaking, there's a gender gap between men and women that can't be erased. See, this is the one thing that they can't. They can't. Right? You can the one thing that they can't they can't write you can write all the legislation you want okay and uh you can't change it they're trying to and it's

causing a fucking mess but there's uh there's there's performance gaps when it comes to men and women that that guys are generally faster when it comes to running. There was actually an article in the 2015 edition of Runner's World. Explained, it said, at every distance up to the marathon, the gap between men and women's world record times is 9 to 10%. It's a similar or even higher percentage among recreational runners. And then it goes on to explain why men have an athletic advantage over women. This must drive these fucking heeshies crazy. Men, on an average, have greater muscle mass.

Larger portion of it is fast twitch. It allows them to generate greater force, speed, anaerobically produce energy. We typically have less body fat, more hemoglobin and muscle mass, and larger hearts and lungs in women. Try legislation that out. And again, I always bring up the Williams sisters, which isn't completely fair. You might want to go to Jimmy the Greek for that one. But you're going to tell me fucking the Williams sisters? You know.

And again, I have a soft spot for, I don't know which one it was. Serena. Somebody, one of them smiled at me. I was coming out of Howard Stern's studio. She said hi to me. Maybe she knew me from, she knew my comedy. I don't know. But, I mean, come on.

They have legs like fucking Jim Brown. And a fucking ass like Mike Singletary. You wonder why they're beating the shit out of these, you know, little blonde girls from Europe trying to play tennis. Nick, come on. That's not fair. You're not giving her credit.

Ah, bullshit. Ah, bullshit. Fucking Lawrence Taylor playing against a little girl. If men can claim to be women and invade a sport that only women are allowed to compete in then it's a safe bet and men will win and you know who wrote that brandon morse and the federalists all the accolades rewards and recognition is going to be taken away from the women who write and he's who rightfully deserve

them and given to a man who essentially cheated by putting on makeup, injecting himself with hormones and saying he's a chick. And that's exactly right. Allowing biological males to compete against women is not only unfair, it's dangerous to women. It's worse than that, says David, I'm going to buy this book, David Kupelin, K-U-P-E-L-I-N. He wrote a book, The Snapping of the American Mind. Finally.

Why didn't I fucking write this book 10 years ago? The insanity of this, and this is his quotes in the book, the insanity of this affects not just the transgendered individual and the women athletes thus victimized, he said.

It also contributes to a sort of mass delusion infecting our whole society in which, thanks to the influence of the powerful LGBT movement, everybody now has to either affirm the absurd and crazy that a manot just for speaking the truth. Kouplian says these grotesquely unfair matchups between female athletes and powerful men who identify as women is just one more unfortunate aspect of a revolutionary movement sweeping the nation. This sexual anarchy movement, which, for example, recently announced dozens of brand new genders that

never existed in the history of humanity until a few years ago this is when people say liberalism is a mental illness this is this is to me fucking proof of it he says it's really part of a revolutionary political movement rooted in the mixture of personal trauma utopian ideology and demonic forces that is unfortunately ever expanding today's america he's exactly fucking right you got this weightlifter then he gives examples you got this weightlifter her name's laurel hubbard she was born a man this isn't in australia i think yeah she won the australian international women's competition 39 years old she lifted 591 pounds 20 pounds more than the woman This is in Australia, I think. Yeah, she won the Australian International Women's Competition. 39 years old, she lifted 591 pounds,

20 pounds more than the woman who won the silver by lifting 572 pounds. That's pretty good. You're going to tell me the girl who came in second place has a snatch? No pun intended. That wasn't a weightlifting pun. Jesus Christ, you only beat her by 20 pounds and you still got dick and balls? I wouldn't be bragging about that.

But then they put a picture of her and again, I'm not blaming her for being born, you know, I mean, I told you, I evolved on this shit.

It's not just boy and girl. There's a lot of shit in between. Some people get more testosterone juice when they're born. Some get more estrogen and there's a lot in between. But for you to go into a woman's sport and then brag that you beat girls, sorry. I'm with the fucking author on that one.

Weightlifter Deborah Aikison from the Australian Weightlifting Federation said she's concerned about the fairness of Hubbard competing in the division. She says we all deserve to be on an even playing field. In other words, you can't have a cock. And I agree with her. You know, so who didn't see this coming? Then you got another chick here. They listed Jillian Bearden. The word beard right in her fucking name.

Oh my God. As Bill Hicks would say, isn't the world too fucking weird? She's 36-year-old biological male, Colorado Springs native. She won the women's division, El Tour de Tucson, in four hours and 26 minutes in November of last year. Because she was competing against chicks. So, once again, do me a favor, folks. Google, I don't even know what the words to give you but there's a female running back in some arena football league a few years ago and i mean a female not a transgender not an angry lesbian well maybe she was i don't know but she was a

female running back i think she weighed probably 140 pounds maybe i don't know but google female running back arena football she's they're down on the goal line they give her the ball three times she gets hit by guys she's playing against men okay i mean semi-pro football players she gets her clock cleaned if you want to see an example of what happens when you put a woman against a fucking guy oh my god and then there was back in the day and i don't remember the guy's name uh i actually played this clip years ago on my podcast there was a female uh martial arts woman from oklahoma she was like a housewife who took on the fucking male champion of what was martial arts back then and the bell rings it was on wide world of sports she comes running out this guy fucking wheel kicks her in the head oh my god i

thought she was dead and they fucking she's down for like i don't know how long and then she gets up again they've sent her out there again and he croaks her again it was fucking i remember my mother being upset this This isn't fair. And I said, no, let it go. I'm enjoying this. She goes, you hateful little prick. You're 10 years old. You don't like broads?

I said, hey, relax. If I don't, it's your problem. What? Um, yeah. So it really is, you know, it's not just people confusing what bathroom to use and shit. Although you can relate it to that, couldn't you? So some guy who says, hey, I'm a chick tonight and goes into the fucking ladies room or the ladies shower.

You can see that he could not only overpower them on a soccer field or on a bike race or tennis, but he could overpower them in the shower, too. And I think it's a legitimate concern. I don't, that makes me a bigot and a racist, but, uh, call me a bigot. Suck it. Female athletes crushed by women who were once men. Yeah. And I started to read, uh, some of the comments. I like to read the comments after. You really get some doozies. And some guy said, first wave of feminism

was courageous and groundbreaking. Maybe it's a girl. I don't know who sent this in. Then it says, the second wave of feminism started out great and got co-opted by the abortionist first

and then the lesbians. Pretty accurate in my opinion. Third wave feminism is raving mad you can't say that stupid fucking blabbermouth cut how dare you uh and then this guy a girl says women did not vote for this most women vote like men i don't know where they came up with that, but probably back it up. And then somebody said, exactly, white women

vote about like men, especially if married, they vote almost precisely like their husbands to the right. And then the person says, Democrat women are very stupid life forms.

I wouldn't go that far. When it comes to politics, they are. Then somebody says, it's already here, the fifth wave of feminism. Fourth wave of feminists. Oh, it says fourth wave feminists are demanding the right to slaughter fifth wave feminists in the womb, merely for being female. Whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad.

Now you're getting too religious for me, okay? I think Joel Osteen said that. No, I don't know. This guy asked the question, why do fake, hashtag fake women, who could not compete against their fellow men, get their jollies by overpowering real women? How long before those suffering gender dysphoria

dominate women's sports? Why bother having women's sports at all? I agree. I agree. Sorry. But, wow. You know what they should do? They should allow guys like me,

like a middle-aged guy in his 40s, if he wants to play in a women's hockey league and he's straight, he's allowed to if he's like 25 years older than the women he's playing against. That way you've got a real straight guy who still likes pussy against women, straight women who still like dick, and they compete sports-wise, and then the age will make up the difference. So there's your solution, folks. Cut to me getting knocked unconscious by a 5'10", 200-pound left-wing girl

out of Boston University. I think that's a solution. How about staying on the gender subject? People are asking what's wrong with Cuba Gooding Jr., how about staying on the gender subject? People are asking what's wrong with Cuba Gooding Jr. And I'll tell you what's wrong with them without it. Before I even read the article, we've discussed this on the podcast. When famous black people get a little older and they're not getting the

attention that they were getting and, you know, struggling for to stay relevant, they get a little crazy. I.e. Danny Glover, i.e. Dale, what was that guy's name? I can never remember that guy's name. He's a real whitey hater, but Herm Edwards, and I know white people do it too

when they start to fade and show business, but I'm just saying black people. Cuba Gooding, and they get a little fucking nutty. Spike Lee, always saying shit to stay relevant. But what did Cuba Gooding do that was so outrageous? Well, I'll tell you. He was on stage giving out some awards. He was on stage with Kathy Bates, some broad named Sarah Paulson, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Dennis O'Hare. Oh, they were at the American Horror Story, Roanoke screening at Los Angeles Paley Fest, whatever the fuck that is.

Cuba Gooding Jr., he got fucking taken to task on Twitterverse after lifting up the dress of American Horror Story Roanoke co-star Sarah Paulson as Kathy Bates is being introduced to a crowd of inside Hollywood's inside Hollywood's theater Paulson she's the chick 42 greeted the actress as Gooding 49 that explains it grabbed her sheath from behind although Paulson initially shrieked at discovering what Gooding was up to the pair who portray husband and wife on season six, oh, then they have a history, no biggie, of the FX anthology series, appeared to be in a playful mood as the event continued. While neither Paulson nor Gooding has addressed the incident on social media, the Academy Award winning actor was skewered on Twitter for his actions. Here's a

couple of those. Cooper Gooding Jr., hi dude, did you apologize to Sarah? You should if you didn't because what you did was gross and disrespectful, one nosy twat wrote, or guy, I don't know. For your information,

the reason that Ms. Sarah Paulson is smiling is because Ms. Kathy Bates then screams out of shock at the disrespectful actions of Cuba Gooding Jr. Another tweeted.

Here's another one. So is Cuba Gooding Jr. Another tweeted. Here's another one. So is Kuba Gooding Jr. allowed to get away with lifting Paulson's skirt at the Paley Center? Total disrespect to women. Sniped another. You know what's sad? I don't know who wrote in those. Probably guys.

No, I'm not condoning what Kuba Gooding did. I'm just saying, you know, they won't call him to task. They will on Twitter for an hour or two. But I'm just saying you know they won't call him to task they will on twitter for an hour or two but i'm just saying there's a double standard i brought this up with my buddy kamal bell i even said it talking about chris rock and the late great patrice o'neill i said black comics get away with a lot more when it comes to gender they are hip-hop you don't see the feminists screaming it is there anything more misogynist than hip-hop lyrics and uh you never hear anything about it and they don't go after islam the way that women are

treated in muslim countries only for white fella if that was don knots lifting that woman's skirt they'd fucking crucify him why don knots i don't i grabbed it off the top of my head but there's a little bit of a double standard. Yes, again, people will pipe up on Twitter and give them hell because they can do it anonymously. But you think that's going to hurt Kuba Gooding's career, which is failing, as the president would say? He's just trying to get attention, stay relevant. And we're talking about him on the DePaulo podcast, which proves he's failing miserably. about him on the DePaulo podcast, which proves he's failing miserably. I'm smart.

I'm like everybody says. Like, don't. I'm smart, and I want respect. Ladies and gentlemen. Hey, where are the white women at? I don't know. Right here. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole.

Phil Collins' solo career seems to be more commercial and therefore more satisfying in a narrower way. Especially songs like In the Air Tonight, and against all odds. Sabrina, don't just stare at it. Eat it. Oh, that dirty cocksucker. All right. That's enough for today, folks.

Again, if you love the show, go to connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. Order from Blue Apron. You'll fucking love it. I will talk to you subscribers, you premium members, tomorrow and Wednesday. Come see me at Acme Comedy Club this weekend, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, in Minneapolis. If you don't, you big girls and boys. And what the hell else?

Keep an ear out. I'll keep you abreast of the serious radio thing. It's going to happen very soon, I believe. Again, not official. I haven't signed anything, but right on the precipice of bringing a different point of view to Sirius fucking radio. And if you're sick of PC horseshit and CNN,

CBS, ABC, Chuck Todd, fucking Stepanopoulos, if they all make you angry, Morning Joe, you're going to turn into my radio show and fucking love it if I do it. I promise you. I promise you, folks, your heads will spin. You'll get sick of winning.

That one, boy, they had fun playing that clip about him saying sick of winning after the big health care debacle. But I think he's right. Now it's in the Democrats' lap. You hold on that. It's like a hand grenade. They're tossing it back and forth.

Anyhow, any he, I have said all that I want to say, and I will talk to you real soon. Go to nickdip.com, my website, for all your DiPaolo needs. Hey, hey, I saved the world today. for all your DiPaolo needs. Good day, everybody. Happy now guitar solo I'm out.