The Nick DiPaolo Show - 188 - Maher and the N Word

Episode Date: June 7, 2017

Maher and the N Word

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Hello, everybody. Jesus, Andy. That's two in a row. You're on a different mic today. Huh? You moved over. Yeah, I was hoping you'd fucking spot that. What, do I have to shoot up a flare?

For the love of Christ. How are you, folks? That's right, it's me live. This is not a best of. We had to throw a couple of those. We had the holidays last week and um had a couple of stand-up gigs that I booked before I get the radio gig so I had to fulfill those obligations what did you did you just touch on because it it was good for a second now it just gets staticky

I didn't touch it um must have been me anyways trying to figure out which bay is the good bay as far as uh but yes i had a couple of gigs that i had booked way before i get the radio show and uh first of all happy birthday to our producer andy flowers andy fiori huh thank you andy yes thanks everybody what are you 14 you big girl yes let's go with that how old are you seriously 38 38 you got a lot of ass ahead of you. Some of it female. You know I 38. Jesus 38. I'd kill for 38. I'd kill for 48.

Who am I shitting? Brendan the golf screener he'll be 14 on Tuesday. He's got a little Kentucky hat on. Looks like a Sandusky wet dream.

So yes happy birthday Andy. Thanks buddy. If anyone would come I'll buy some pure horse that's street talk for heroin folks and uh that's what he likes thanks what the hell's going on out here got no idea uh tomorrow we get comedian mike vecchione live in studio he is as funny as they get man he used to do i remember i saw him at the comedy cellar and i said hey i guess you're

a real david tell fan huh because he was doing a tell not stealing the material just the cadence and i mean and he almost like blushed he was very nice about it he was like oh shit i forget what he said to me i ruined his evening or his week or something but uh you know but then then he just came into his own and the guy is super funny. You want to see super funny? Come see me Friday and Saturday. This Friday and Saturday, June 9th and 10th at Hilarity's in Cleveland. Haven't been there in a while.

Last time I was there, I had a little bit of an incident. Club was pretty new. It was about eight years ago and maybe more. I can't tell anymore if it's eight or 14. Could be. I don't know. But there was a big party of about 50 in the middle of the room. The room was brand new.

And they were getting drunk and yelling shit out. And some woman yelled some shit out. I tried to be nice for 30 seconds. And I gave her another minute. And then I said something nasty. You know. And anyways. They still yell shit out.

And then the doorman came in. They jumped the gun. They didn't have to step in. But it was, like I said, a new club, so they were new to this. And it made kind of a stink and a distraction. And it kind of fucked up the show. Anyways, after the show's over, we go back and the owner calls us into the kitchen and sort of lines us up. The staff, the bouncers, the waitress, and just goes hog wild like a like a you know

college football coach down 41 nothing at halftime and he's looking at me and then he you know he explains that he had to refund like half that check or something i mean a substantial amount of money and it turns out the woman that i was you know giving it to after she provoked me uh turns out she was the wife of the owner's partner who invested in the new club. And there's Nick DePaul's luck for you. I was sitting there. He's screaming. I'm standing like a 12-year-old.

I saw the friolator behind me. I was going to put my head in it and go, I've had enough of this. But I haven't. I guess I made quite an impact because I hadn't been back there since. But he's a good guy. The guy that runs it, he's from Brooklyn. He's an old school guy, you know. He sent Patrice home, too.

The original Hilarities, which was another great club. The guy that's out of, like, market. He sent Patrice home after one show. One? After one show, Patrice went after, again, it was some chick in the crowd, and Patrice was, you know, just being his urban self, let's say. And Nick was like, no, this isn't good. And me and Patrice laughed about that for years.

We seem to have the same problem with the same. But I'm going back, and Cleveland's a great comedy town. And do you guys remember Paul Sorrento? He used to come see me. He was a pretty good first baseman and a power hitter for the Cleveland Indians. He went to high school near me, and he was best friends with one of my best friends. So he used to come see me. And I still didn't get late.

Anyways, that's because he was hitting.226. And so that's where I am headed, Friday and Saturday. Come out and see me. Thank you to Dave Harris and to Dino Cantillo. They were supporting my podcast financially with a couple of checks, and I appreciate that very much. The podcast is connectpal.com slash nick if you don't have Sirius Radio. You can listen to the podcast based on the show.

So that's how that goes also um i i was in buffalo with big j okerson and uh what a cool dude he is i'll tell you he's just a laid back laid back dude he i see him at the airport he's got his headphones on he's got those dumb bolo shorts it's like those pants are those shorts and his fucking his legs are all tattooed like he was just on lockup he's got this greasy shamp Howard hairdo hanging in his face and i'm just belly laughing he doesn't know i'm watching i'm walking through the airport and stuff and then and then we finally say hi i sit in 1a it's one of those planes that has one row on one side i sit in 1a and he sits uh of those planes that has one row on one side.

I sit in 1A, and he sits in 2A, which is the way it should be on the way to Buffalo. But he sits down behind me, and he's not even in a seat. I swear to God, a minute and a half, and you hear this. Only, I'd say, about four times a lot of them people next to me looking out of the corner of their eye like you know it was a caged lion the lady had the scared look on her face and jay didn't even he didn't even fucking reference it after the flight was he didn't even know he was out i don't know how you do that i can't i can't see you guys know i can't sleep for the life of me but uh buffalo sold out up there at this the casino seneca casino and that was fucking great and then and then the next day the next i rush home from buffalo and i have a

gig that night in yonkers because i'm huge in this fucking business and uh i get a call from my agent tucker carlson who i really like a lot on fox news channel wanted to have me on of course friday night but once again stand-up comedy gets in the way of my showbiz career heading up to goddamn sawmill parkway and uh you know and and tucker i know what he wanted because of the whole kathy griffin thing which we're going to get into because she had that press conference and we weren't here to talk about it. So I want to dip my toes into that before we move on, because I want to give any more ink that she wants. But yeah, Tucker Carlson wanted me on the show and couldn't do it because I was in Yonkers and, you know, making some cash.

Yonkers and uh you know making some cash anyhow the phone number 866-969-1969 is the phone I got to apologize to Robert Kelly a friend Bobby Kelly had his uh annual comedy cookout I'm sitting home on Saturday I'm working outside like a suburban asshole doing stuff around the house which is really not me you know i'm on my sit down more i got like six beers of me i got my headphones on listening to paparazzi and um all of a sudden i get a text from bobby kelly and it's a picture of him and about 100 comedians behind them and it just says fuck you this is like this says it's at 6 45 at night and i go not the fuck. No, please tell me it wasn't today.

Because he always has it on Sunday, normally. But he had sent notices. He sent me something, you know, like nine messages saying it was Saturday. They had moved it or whatever. And I had no excuse. And I also have to mention, he got mad when I thanked Rob Sprance the founder of riot cast for helping me you know do the podcast which helped me get this i think maybe not but uh bobby kelly is also a co-founder of riot cast and he was fucking fuming this guy was filming no he was he busted my what do you

you think sprance you don't fucking say nothing but i get that picture of him and all the comedians and him just giving me the finger so i call him immediately and he's yelling at me. And I, you know, I'm like, why don't you fucking, yeah, no, I'm skipping it because I don't like you. You don't think I want to go to your house and eat steak tips, about $200 worth of steak tips, drink free booze. No, I'd rather be, you know, pulling weeds with my wife or whatever I was doing. Actually sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette while she pulled weeds but he got fucking furious like uh you know it was a personal slate but i have no

memory folks it's getting kind of frightening which brings me to my next thing i am on uh trazodone huh trazodone which is an antidepressant which helps people with sleep problems apparently you know all it took was one guy to i don't know if it was a podcast subscriber or a caller here somebody sent me an email saying i did trazodone and it changed my life it was so good that's all i needed to hear but you know that's the thing somebody told keith riches about, you know, it's a battle right now. I took the stuff the first night. I go, I don't feel anything, just like I did when I smoked weed.

I want to try that skunk weed, you know, the weed where you smoke, and then you cut your cock off and throw it at your mother's head? Now that's the kind of marijuana I want to get into. That's the story we'll get to, too, maybe. But, yeah, I try the trazodone i don't really feel anything but i slept six and a half hours first night i take it last night again about 10 o'clock it's uh 12 30 and i'm doing front handsprings and cartwheels i'm so wide awake i had a window where i got a little drowsy i guess you're supposed to jump in bed the minute you feel that you guys know out there you drug addicts can call and uh so i went to bed uh with the trouser down in me and uh slept

a whole two hours pop right up popped right the fuck up and uh but today so i i haven't taken it yet i take it at night before i go to bed but today it hits me on the way in here i'm driving and i felt like i smoked the joints kind of's kind of nice, I got to admit. Kind of like a weed or a glass of wine. I'm going to try to cook this on a spoon, just to be cool. You know, you take tablet form. It's kind of faggy. I want to cook this, shoot this stuff right into my left nut.

That's what the doctor said to do. Yeah, so Trazodone. Let me know if anybody has tried Traz trazodone it's an antidepressant i'm a little depressed i cry when i see like dog food commercials and tampon that's when you know you're getting older i'm in the car and neil diamond comes on i start bawling i don't know if that makes me old or a little bit gay yeah probably both and there's nothing wrong with that am i right folks okay but uh oh for's sake. That's me trying to get sleep. But, so Trazodon.

Oh, the air condition. Now it's off. Are you hot, Andy? No, now for once I feel good. You're comfortable? I am burning up. Maybe it's the heroin and the Trazodon colliding with the Starbucks. Well, you're drinking coffee, too.

I had to have the coffee. The Trazodon was winning. It was really winning. Oh, boy, I got to take this, because one of the side effects of Trazodone is the same as Viagra. You get that wood, they say, for four hours, which apparently, that is so funny. I think they throw that in there as a selling point. They act like it's a warning, but that's why you guys are like, really? I'm going to try that shit.

But John in New York has had that kind of experience with Trazadon. John, welcome to the show. Thanks for taking my call. You got it. It was not me. Let's get that straight. It was not me. It was my cousin.

Oh, yeah. Right, Johnny. Your cousin. Yeah, it was my brother, too. Go ahead. So he was on a cruise right and he took it for the first time and he got an erection for like 7 or 8 hours

yeah what kind of boat what kind of boat was oh it was like a little booze cruise it wasn't nothing you know whatever so I mean whatever like what gets your dick hard is the blood capillaries fill up with blood obviously and the reason why they say you seek medical attention that if you get a hard on

for more than four hours because you can burst those capillaries oh yeah right so they got 70 percent of his capillaries in his dick is, like, busted or something. He can never fuck a girl, never get a hard-on again. He's got a morphine pump in him because every time he wakes up with, like, morning wood, he said it's incredible pain. Like, he's fucked. I kill myself personally. I don't know how he gets through a day without beating off. Wow.

That's quite a sales pitch for Trazodon. Where's the trash barrel? He really, he got wood so hard he did damage. So holy Christ. What was the, how many milligrams was he taking? 50. Oh, that's what I'm taking. I haven't taken it yet. Should I

take it? Take it, see what happens. You know, I figured the guy, you said he was on a boat, you know, in four hours they could have tied a sheet to it, and if the wind was right, they would have made it to shoot. If it's for sleep, there are so many safer, better things, you know, just Trazodone, I wouldn't touch that if you paid me a million bucks. Yeah, but okay, hold on, John. Okay, that's, again, that's, but that's anecdotal. That's one story.

You know, there's a bunch of people who swear by it, you know what I mean, who didn't rupture their dick. You want a little of the dice? Go ahead. I, uh, it's too late. Get out of it. All right, Johnny. You know what? Thank you, though.

I'll keep that in mind. Appreciate it. Yes. I was going to put it in a syringe and shoot it right in there, but I guess you don't have to. Can you imagine? No. I can't. Well, look at Diane in Arizona. Finally, I like to get

a girl on early. I mean a woman. I mean a chick. I mean, you know, abroad. Hi, Diane. Hi, how are you doing, Nick? Oh, I'm telling you, I got a little bit of wood developing here. I haven't even taken my Trazodone, but go ahead. Oh, I started taking Trazodone about six months ago back when they

had to change all my medications because you couldn't take this with that don't tell me you get an erection too no no i didn't get that it's weird but i also uh it takes me a little while to wake up in the morning i haven't tried to drive that early but it just amazes me that you said you felt like you were high when you were driving, because that would have freaked me out. So you've been taking it three to four months. Did you take it because you were having sleep problems? I had sleep problems, and I had some depression going on. Can you turn down your radio, Diane?

Yeah, hold on. I'm getting some feedback like I'm at a Nugent concert in the late 70s. Okay. Apparently the radio's upstairs on the roof. Sorry. That's all right. So you took it for depression, which it's an antidepressant, right? Well, I also took it for sleep, and part of what caused some of my depression was insomnia.

Did it help you with the sleep? Oh, yes. It helped me with both. And I was actually given it for the insomnia, but my doctor also knew I had depression. And I told her that I wasn't waking up with anxiety or depression anymore. She goes, well, you just need to take that Trazodone every night then. No kidding. That's from the doctor.

All right. Well, you know, see, now we have it's one-to-one. We have a negative story. And even the negative story is kind of positive, in my opinion. You get that kind of wood. I don't want to bleed internally. Oh, my goodness. Mike in California has also experienced a trazodon. Mike.

Hey, Nick. What's happening? How's it going, Nick? Good. How you doing? I'm all right. So we're probably political opposites, but I still think you're a funny fuck. Thank you very much.

Politics has nothing to do with the funny. We can disagree and still like humor. Exactly. At least righties can. Thanks, brother. Vodka and Trazodone gives you six hours, guaranteed. You know what? And you're right, because the first night I had a drink with it,

and I got six and a half hours, which is huge for me. Yeah, me too. That's about my, if I hit six hours, I'm pretty proud of myself in the morning. And a couple of vodkas, and I take the trazodones and I watch something shitty on TV so it bores me to death. Lay in bed and, you know, I'm up at four or five

but give myself a good six. Well, there you go. There you go. I'm a doctor. Oh, you are. I'm not really. Oh, you son of a bitch. I was really getting excited.

All right, Mike. That was a call I wanted to hear, actually. Thank you. All right, later. Take care, bro. Yeah. You hear that? all right mike that was a call i wanted to hear actually thank you all right later take care bro yeah you hear that a little uh six is good for you i i went over and i looked at all the paperwork and i read it and and it just said uh limit the alcohol which means really for pound this pound the fuck if it doesn't say prohibited or stay away from. And I don't drive a forklift, so I am going to make a picture of mudslides and take a... Mudslides, what is this, 1988?

Slides. Let's go to Pat, also on Trazod. The whole country's on it. I'm loving it. Pat, what's going on? Hey, Nick. Hey, Nick, how are you? I'm pretty good.

How are you doing? Yeah, I'm on Trazodone for sleep disorder, but I'm also on Zoloft for depression. And, well, I broke my back six years ago. I used to be an elevator mechanic in the city, had an accident, fell, broke my back, and I had surgery on my back. I've had all kinds of surgeries from that. And you got disability. But I don't sleep at night, and it's mostly because of pain. So the doctor said, well, let's try Trazanone. And I've also been having anxiety with that. So

he puts me on Xanax and Trazanone. And I found that at night when I take one Xanax and one Trazanone, you got about 30 minutes. And then from that 30 minute time period, you have about a window of about 45 minutes. If you don't fall asleep in that 45 minutes, you're from that 30-minute time period, you have about a window of about 45 minutes. If you don't fall asleep in that 45 minutes, you're going to be up. Like you said, you're going to be up bouncing off the walls all night staring at the ceiling. So your doctor has you on three different drugs. What's your doctor? Oh, yeah, and then plus I'm also on OxyContin, Oxycodone, Coma, all this stuff for my back. Dr. James Morrison.

Dr. James Morrison, Dr. James Hendricks, paging Dr. James. Well, I got a whole mess of medications for the back, and the other stuff is because of my back, it's causing the depression and anxiety. Wow. It's been going on six years. I've had two surgeries already, and the last one failed, and I have to have the corrective surgery.

Okay, Pat, I don't need a biography. Yeah, I got screws and rods in my back. You got screws and rods in your back, and you're probably collecting disability. Nice check. The best part about that is that I got denied. Where workers' comp said I was on there too long,

so they said I had to go to disability. And the first time I applied, I got denied. Now I'm waiting my appeal, which has been a year and a half. Well, good luck with that. So that's where the anxiety comes from.

All right. All right, brother. Hey, thanks for the call. And you sure he's doing Trazadone or cocaine? Good Lord. Holy Christ. What a cocktail. And you sure he's doing Trazodone or cocaine? Good Lord. Holy Christ. What a cocktail.

That was like an auctioneer. Now, Brett in Long Island says you don't drink with Trazodone. Brett. Don't drink. Brett, go ahead. Yeah, how you doing, man? Pretty good, brother. Awesome.

You're awesome at this. Thank you very much. Do not drink on it. It will kill you. That was what my doctor told me. Your doctor's a big fag. Your doctor is a big fag. Your doctor is a big fag. I don't like his advice.

Nick, I'm a drinker. I'm a huge drinker. Oh. He said this will kill you, but it's the only way I can get to bed without drinking. Now, hold on. Okay, but Brett, you said you're a huge drinker. So, you know, one vodka with a trazodone is not going to kill me. According to my doctor, everything an alcoholic does will do twice as fast to you and more with this stuff.

All right. Sounds more like you're encouraging me. It's horrible, dude. I don't have time to get drunk. Yeah. Also, I asked three doctors, and they all said the same thing. Yeah, well, you're in Long Island. Do you have any boombats as your main physician?

No. I'm on the North Shore of Long Island. We don't have any boombats. Is that Jewish? I don't know. What's the North Shore? No, it's partially Jewish. It's very Protestant and white and very well.

Oh, kind of a neighborhood I'd like. I have a summer home in Shirley. Have you heard of Shirley? Yes, but we don't hang out in Shirley.

All right, all right, Brett. Good luck, man. Keep kicking ass on the show, okay,

Brett? I'm trying, brother. Thank you so much. Thanks for calling in there, fella. See what happens? But this shows, this shows right

here, I am sweating like Robert Parrish at the Fowl Line in 1972 at the Old Garden. The Chief? The Chief. If you stick to one, you should be alright. Isn't three the normal, if you drink any more than three alcoholic beverages when you're out? That's usually the rule.

I don't know how to make a restaurant. What the hell's going on out here? But this shows you how what a drug adult society we are. I mean, anytime I bring this shit up, the phones light up. There's not a person out there that's not on something.

Matt in Colorado. Matt, what's going on? Oh, now, Mike, hey my hey i was just gonna say that yeah i was taking trozodone for a while too and um i got one night that gave me really sick uh and then the doctor switched me to like mirazapine which uh seems to be working pretty good um otherwise it seems to be better in ambient. But I think it's like an antidepressant kind of tube. You take like a half of the Merazapine.

So you might want to ask about that one. But yeah, the Tron film's kind of funky. Wasn't a big fan. So you were, yeah, see, we're getting mixed call. But everybody seemed, I didn't realize it was so common. Thanks, Matt, for the call. Anyways, I didn't realize it was this common. Thanks, Matt, for the call. Anyways, uh, I didn't realize it was, uh, this popular. I hadn't heard of it. And, uh, you know, uh, oh God, I'm just reading some of it in a melatonin.

Jesus Christ. That's the hack answer to sleep. You try melatonin on my body makes it. I don't fucking, it just doesn't do anything for me. Matt in Washington, he's been taking Trazodone and drinking every day. Now I'm going to take that call. I'm taking the ones I want to hear. Back up my... Matt, go ahead. What's up, Matt?

Go ahead. Hey, man, I am such a huge fan of yours, and I'm so jacked that you have your own show. You have no idea. Well, you thank the people at SiriusXM, Jack Vaughn and the people, and the Scott Greensteins of the world. They, you know, they woke up. Yeah, I'll call them right now, I'm sure. So you took this stuff and you drank, too.

Yeah, I drink every day. I've been a huge boozer for like 20 years, been on Trazodone for anxiety and sleep for about two. So you drive Metro North trains. Go ahead. And now it's just psychosomatic for me. It doesn't do shit for me, so I just kind of take it as a habit. But I could have 10 of them and it wouldn't affect me at all. So I think it's your dependency on your chemicals in your brain. And like I said, I'm so fucking full of anxiety that nothing works. Well, I wonder why we're full of anxiety.

It's not because you put on the TV and see ISIS on every channel every two weeks. That might have something to do with it. That's part of it, sure. Yeah, yeah. And hearing you gives me more anxiety as well. Thanks, Matt. Hey, thanks, thanks. All right, brother.

Well, well, well. I'll tell you, folks. We're going to move along when we come back. We'll touch on Kathy Griffin because she had that press conference. I didn't get to comment on it. I am a comedian. I know Kathy a little bit,

but really disgusting. And I like to chat about that. And Bill Maher, it's been a bad week for the comics who fucking hate President Trump. And, you know, I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying the pain. And, you know, it's good to see them getting a little hot water, but it never sticks. It never sticks. If you're a liberal, you're getting a little hot water, but it never sticks. It never sticks if you're a liberal. You're getting a little bit of heat. She'll be back. Let's not kid ourselves. They act like they fired Wolf Blitzer. Like I said, she works one night at fucking, what? New Year's Eve. Anyways,

it's the Nick DiPaolo Show, 866-969-1969. Stay in your seats. We'll be back right after this. The Nick DiPaolo Show will return after this. The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. Yeah, welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, yeah. Come see me this weekend, Friday and Saturday night at Hilarity's in Cleveland.

Haven't been there in a while. Good comedy city. Used to do it all the time. And tomorrow night we've got comedian Mike Vecchione, who's as funny as all get out. If you want to check out my tour dates, go to nickdip.com. Follow me on Twitter at Nick DiPaolo and Instagram. And also, you can follow the show live on Twitter at DiPaoloShowSXM. Andy, any dates since it's your birthday?

Coming up this weekend. Speaking of Mike Vecchione, he gave me and Greg Stone a fundraiser in Connecticut. I don't know where it is, so no. There you go. But we'll be doing it for a good cause. We'll ask Mike about it tomorrow. There you go. So Andy's a very funny dude.

I've seen him before. So I'm in a bathing suit. Funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm telling you. I am seen him before. So I'm going to bathe in soup. Funniest thing I've ever seen in my life. I'm telling you. I am telling you, ladies and gentlemen. Real quickly, I caught Megan Kelly's show. I like Megan. I don't like what happened at Fox and the way it went out.

She always had this little feminist streak in her that, well, anytime I say feminist. feminist streak in her that, well, anytime I say feminist. But she seemed fair. I'm just playing it for feminists in general, not for Megan. But you see them on the street, left and right.

You like to lick them, maybe take a bite. That's right, I'm freestyling, yo. Anyhow. Oh, goodness. But Megan, her show debuted. I say I like it because I met her, again, at the streaming show they used to do. The Strategy Room, like five years ago.

And she actually sat in and was very nice to me. Actually wanted me on her show when she was on in the afternoons at Fox. Do you remember the Philadelphia Eagles, Riley Cooper? Yes. You got in trouble with the N-word. With the N-word too.

And I'm on my way to a gig at Helium. I'm on the turnpike and actually I get a call from my agent, you know, Megyn Kelly wanted you the last second. And I'm like, why every time the N-word comes up, they want to talk to me?

You know? I don't know how to make a restaurant. It's not fair. It's not fair. Once again, stand-up comedy got in the way of being, you know. Tucker Carlson, that would have been great if I went on Friday night. That, you know, he's not doing Bill O'Reilly numbers, but damn close, okay?

He's talking a couple mil what that wouldn't hurt plug in this show next thing you know next thing you know we own the play we're bigger than u.s steel but anyways so i watched a little bit of a show it's on nbc you can't get more liberal than nbc? They carried water for Obama for both his elections, embarrassingly. And so I watched it. And again, Megan comes from Fox News Channel. But again, she got into a little bit of that. She used to be on O'Reilly Fact, and she'd get a little, if he said anything slightly sexist, she'd get a little riled up.

Anyways, you know what she's making, by the way, folks? With a new gig at NBC. How about 20 mil per year? What? 20 mil per year. So I know to make a million dollars a year, it's $20,000 a week. So you do

the math. Mink you. 20 mil. Can you imagine? Anyways, she had the big premiere of her sunday night show she's gonna be on in the mornings over there too they don't know what they're gonna do with her and she's smart and feisty and i can see the attraction and stuff and uh brendan just made the fucking brendan shaking his head so much i just saw blood coming out of his ears um anyways she did her her you know her first show last night and she had on uh putin how do you get putin what kind of i mean holy christ i'm on the phone with roland i i can't get a couple of comics from long island

megan yeah give me vlad putin jesus that's quite a book isn't that quite a kudel huh minkia as they say um so that was her interview and uh he kind of i don't know he kind of pushed her around and in my opinion because i watched her you know on fox news and she was always aggressive and stuff. But she did go right at him. She was hosting some economic forum with him. And she brought up the questions you wanted to hear about the election and whether Russia meddled and who was meddling

and if he knew anything about it. But Putin was making me laugh. He's got this sarcastic look on his face and uh he was saying stuff like oh you people are so creative over there he quipped good job your lives must be boring that was the worst russian accent i've ever heard folks it sounded like a fucking sesame street dracula character what the fuck uh have you all lost your sense uh a tit you have nice tit over there um but uh you know she asked him about cyber interference in election he says i saw what was happening uh of course this is via translator it was big surprise for me too what they are saying is just

nuts which i thought was funny just nuts that doesn't sound like it i never know what people spreading disinformation and coming from and uh and then he she did a one-on-one and asked questions like russian cyber interference uh asked about u.s national security advisor michael flynn and so on and he overwhelmed her this is what the article says and i agree a thousand percent with word clouds he goes what fingerprints or hoof prints or horn prints? What are you talking about? IP address. They can be invented.

You know, there are lots of specialists who can even make a, so it comes from your home IP address as if you're a three-year-old daughter carry out the attack. And she didn't, she didn't like come back and go maybe you're full of shit you know it was kind of uh it looked like she's getting pushed around over there so um here's here's a little more of the audio of putin comrade here is something that might be of interest to you. A transcript of the conversation between your helicopter pilot and his commander. We intercepted Dragonfly Wolf 10. Colorful names.

Here we are. We have them in sight. And we try abort the operation immediately. This is a recall. Confirm. Over. That was from one of the Rambo movies, and that Russian

was so over the top. It was worse than mine actually. But yeah, I was a little disappointed. Megan, who's usually a tiger, and she was kind of... And he's there that cocky kind of leaning forward he's got his head tilted i mean k they put a picture of him when he was in the kgb oh my god just to hear that face that holy i like to know what his iq is wouldn't be funny if we checked that out it's like 105 or something just over i can but i watched the rest of the show my point being because nbc just makes me laugh how do they know how fucking stupid and condescending the other stories were this

woman cynthia mcfadden she did a story about a pharmaceutical company that was pushing this drug that was killing people, you know, naturally, and they have to interview, you know, somebody who worked there that was involved, a sales rep, and they have to interview this woman, Patty, who, I don't know if she was officially transgender, but she looked just like Pat. She looked just like Pat, the character from SNL. Nick, what's your point? Who cares? Well, my point is is i always see this now

on the news especially nbc abc cbs if they're at a they're at a site if a crash site or a story on the street they always find like a super gay person or a and andy you agree with me i wasn't imagining this this woman looked like pat had the thick rim i i swear to god and and and uh you know it's a story that they get a hard on at nbc because you go after a big corporation and and probably uh justifiably so in this case they were selling some drug you know that was meant for cancer patients they're giving it to people with a post-traumatic stress disorder and people are dying and so i'm but i'm just saying the bigger point is they they they it's just so typical uh you know and then they did another story a woman uh who's in the she was in the military u.s military now i think she's retired maybe but she was helping save elephants which i

love you know they poach elephants over in africa and she was helping save them but it turned into a story about only in the the interview, the guy goes, does a woman have to... Would it have to be a woman that has to do this? Of course, because of our nurturing ways. And we tend to listen to other people. It turns into a story about how women, you know, and listening guys don't.

And I get distracted by that. I'm trying to watch the story about that. The fucking elephants were red, by the way. There's no sunblock over there. were brought bright they're in the desert walking around somebody slaps them 23 on them bright fucking red but it turns into this this horseshit so now i get pat for one segment pat i'm like guy or girl they kept showing her from a distance too like walking you know she could have been a nose guard for the pets and and again i'm just saying uh i know we know what you're doing we we get it there are gay people in all walks of life or transgender whatever um so don't think you pull one over on

us there's a hundred people that were involved in that scam that uh pharmaceutical company so and and then like I said, the third story is like, do you have to be a woman to be successful to do something like this? Anyways, who has seen, did anybody catch

the Megyn Kelly show? Brian. Brian in line five. Brian, what's going on in New Hampshire, fella? Hey, Nick, what's up? And by the way, dittos or kudos,

whatever, when you used to be on the FM talk station. Oh, yeah. You did that for a little while. Yes. I still remember that. Thank you.

I love that show. Free FM. Yeah, you were awesome. But, yeah, the show's way better because you get to, you know, say, like, the word cunts and stuff like that. There's no hamster wing. Yeah, by the way, speaking of cunts, imagine if Obama was still president and then these terrorist attacks will happen.

He'd be blaming us for our drones or some shit like that. But, you know, it would be all our fault or all the Britain's fault that, you know, the terrorists were attacking the Britons. All these points are true, Brian. But what about Megyn Kelly's show? Did you see it? I did not, but I heard clips on Laura Ingraham, and yeah, they only aired 10 minutes of it, so it seemed to me that they were making the point that it looked like nothing really happened during the interview, that there was really no there there, because there was only 10 minutes there,

that they didn't really advance the story in any way, shape, or form. And he had already answered all those questions. But the best part, though, was to get to the part where she was asking him about an American guy, and Putin answered that he actually has a deeper, more solid relationship with her, Megyn Kelly, than he did with the American. Yeah, with Flynn. Yeah. There's a lot of sexual tension.

Yeah. Do you have that clip? Yes. No, I don't have that clip, but you make a great point. They brought up General Flynn. General Flynn, right. Putin was explaining how he was at a table. Flynn happened to be just sitting next to him, and he said, I have a close relationship.

And there was that sexual tension there. That's a great point, Brian. It was almost like he was hitting on... That's what I mean. Wouldn't that be funny if they ended up hooking up afterwards? Yes, it would. And you know what? And it would be funny if somebody filmed it,

like they did Trump supposedly being peed on. And, you know, that could come up in the next election. Hey, good times. All right, Brian. Thanks, Dick., you know, that could come up in the next election. Hey, good times. All right, Brian. Thanks, Dick. You got it, bro. It's actually a good point. It was very odd.

He goes, again, translator, but he said, I am close in relationship with you. We have been working together for the last day or so. Then I would, Mr. Flynn. And just the way he was slapping stuff away. And I have to believe him, actually. I mean, whatever. Jim in Michigan on line two. Jimmy boy. Oh, hi, Nick. How are you? Good. Thanks for calling, Jim. Did you catch Megyn Kelly's debut on Sunday night?

Oh, no, I missed it. But I got to say, I'm a big fan of you, and I saw you at the Baltimore Magoobies. Magoobies, great club, horrible name. But, yes, great club. Yeah. Yeah, I know that I was going to call about, because I know Caitlyn Jenner is always in the news. Yeah.

And, you know, what's your take on their portrayal of her and trying to make her seem like a goddess or something? Well, yeah. I mean, she, you know, that case specifically, it's not what we're talking about, but that case specifically is really, I mean, you can see why that was hyped. The guy was a, you know know the best athlete on the planet in

1976 male athlete and um you know now now it's caitlin but uh my my bigger point was that you know with like this show this megan kelly show and i see it a lot of times now when they're interviewing people um they seem to go out of their way to find somebody gay or transgender. And again, we get it. But they make up a very small percentage of the population. But if you watch TV, especially the Food Network, the show Chop, you would think they made up 45 to 50 percent of the country. It's just a little bit. In my opinion, it's overrepresentation.

That's all. I know. You're not going to see that on ESPN or something. Yeah, you probably would, actually. Matter of fact, she got an award, right? The ESPYs. Stuart Scott would be a woman. Who?

Or anybody like an announcer there. You said Stuart Scott. Oh, Stuart Scott. Yeah, no. All right, Jimmy, thanks. Yeah, okay, thanks. Appreciate it, brother. No idea what the hell

he's talking about, but I'm glad he called in. Got me confused there for a minute. But you know what I mean. It's just, it's fucking funny to me. Ow.

What happened? I don't know. I'm getting a, I'm getting a, not restless leg syndrome. What happened? I don't know. I'm getting a... I'm getting a... Don't try to don't kick it in. Not restless leg syndrome. What are you... Let's go to Dave in the Wallens. Wants to talk about celebrities on social media.

Dave, go ahead. Hey, Dank. How you doing, man? I'm doing all right. Do you like Megyn Kelly, Dave? She's fine. But, I mean, not really much to say. She can make a good sandwich, right?

Jesus Christ a little song goes out to Dave oh my god that was so that was so sexist Dave I learned her from the best man

you know old Nicky D oh come on dude I have a little of that in me but go ahead no no but yeah man no so I'm just kind of going in me, but go ahead. No, no. But, yeah, man, no.

Something just kind of going back to the Kathy Griffin thing. Oh, God. We passed that, Dave. Come on. I know, but it's not going straight to her. The point I was trying to make is, why do celebrities do this thing where, like, they'll put some stupid shit on Twitter, and then they'll delete it immediately, like as if they think that no one's going to see it, because they know they do.

And not like, there's someone next to them who's going to tell them, you know, that's some dumb shit you're about to put on there. Do they have Tourette's on their thumb? Yeah, well, you can ask that of, people would ask that of Donald Trump. You know, I liked how he used it during the campaign and stuff, and I think it really helped him, because he's not going to get a fair shake from the mainstream media. But now he's sort of shooting himself in the foot. He could be tweeting about policy and about regulations he's turned back and how the economy's getting better, but he

doesn't do that. He still gets personal and has thin skin, and somebody should be standing beside him. I guess he's toning it down a little bit, but I agree with that and you once you tweet something I didn't know when I first got on Twitter I came home drunk

when I first got on Twitter one night from a comedy club and I went on like a rampage about Obama and my web guy called me the next day I had no idea how it worked

he goes what the fuck did you do I go what do you mean he goes you were like trending I said what are you talking almost trending whatever but you know and I look at it and my thing was going on a loop I go, what do you mean? He goes, you're like trending. I said, what are you talking? Almost trending, whatever.

But, you know, and I look at it, and my thing was going on a loop. And I found it exhausting. I looked at my Twitter. I don't think I've tweeted in three weeks. I'm really not a marketer, folks. I went to school for that. Thanks for the call, Dave. I love New Orleans.

Me and Robert Kelly were down there. We had some jambalaya and entertained people in their late 80s. You know. Let's go to Joe in Brooklyn. He has an opinion about Putin. I guess he saw

Megyn Kelly's interview. Joe, go ahead. You know what, dude? No. I love the interview. You know what really pisses me. Yeah. I love the interview. You know what really pisses me the fuck off? What? Cocksucker can't speak English, right?

So he speaks great fluent English, but he's got to show his people that I'm going to teach this American media that I'll speak my language. You can go fuck yourself. Does he speak, Joe? Does he speak? I can't remember. He does speak English. He does. Right?

He does. I'm going to pull that up He does speak English. He does. Right? He does. I've got to pull that up. Where did you see him speak in English? Just go to Google it, baby. Putin's speaking English, and I heard him sing a Frank Sinatra, My Way by Frank Sinatra. Okay. I believe it. When he was taking over Crimea.

All right, thanks, Joe. I love Brooklyn. How do you not love Brooklyn? Oh, goodness gracious hell, Louise. Brendan in Rhode Island wants to know what I like about Trump specifically. Brendan, what's happening? I lived in Rhode Island. Hey, Nick, how you doing?

I'm doing all right. What part of Rhode Island are you in, Brendan? Right now, driving through Providence. Oh, watch out. The Italians are very, very violent down there. My landlord's an Italian. He's quite the goomba. He really thinks he's from the South Bronx, I'm telling you.

Probably worse. Some of those guys. Oh, man. They really like to lay it on thick. There's an Italian joint up here called Uncle Tony's. And on their menu, all the R's are guns. I'm not even fucking joking. I was selling door-to-door when I got out of college, steak and seafood, and I wandered into Federal Hill.

I didn't realize it. I'm trying to sell steak marked up 3,000% to like a street top. Yeah, Horizon Meats, Horizon Meats, right? And the guy goes to me at the front door. He goes, hey, kid, are you fucking shitting me? He goes, turn around. Look at the stripes on the street.

I turn around. The stripes are red, white, and green. And that's like a Federal Hill. And he goes, you're in Federal Hill. And I wasn't you know familiar with it I go okay I'm leaving there's a lot of gizmos down here man I'll tell you

so your question was just like a general I'm not a Trump guy I don't see his draw I don't see his aura before he was president he was a D-list celebrity on par with

Kathy Griffin, if she's going to be the hot topic lately. The Apprentice was a hit. It was off like 15 years, so she was bigger than Kathy Griffin. I agree with that. He did his thing, and he's a good man in terms of making money for himself

and revitalizing certain areas. He got that golf course down in the Bronx, I think, that did pretty well, which was a fucking landfill. Right. So just, I haven't heard why he's a good person. Nothing he has done seems good. I know he says, make America great again, but everything he's doing is literally shooting our country in the foot. How do you figure that?

How the fuck do you figure that? I think you're talking about the last president. Everything he did. He set this whole Syria thing on fire, pulled our troops out. The whole fucking world, the whole refugee thing was created by dum-dum. And then Trump's trying to clean it up. But, you know, I agree with you.

When he was a celebrity, Brendan, and I'd see him on TV, I'm like, I don't like this. He doesn't do anything for me. I was like, I don't understand why. But, I mean, you got like some really smart people. The guy that defended Joseph McCarthy, what's his name, Roy Cohn?

Yes. Who's a brilliant lawyer. Roy Cohn. You can't question his like smart. He said Trump is the smartest guy he's ever met. I understand. I understand he doesn't speak the king's English. That's sort of what I like about him. He's a Queens guy.

He hung out at construction sites with his dad. And you don't have to be a Harvard law... Have a Harvard law degree to be the president of the Harvard Law Review like Obama. That's what I sort of like about him. And let's be honest. We're in a fucking mess right now. Not of his doing. And I think he might be the right guy for the job. And I know half the county disagrees with that.

But that's sort of what I like about him. I didn't vote for him in the primary, so I'm not in love with him. But I like him more now than I did when he started running. So it's not his doing that we got here. But we're here, and we're here and we're dealing with everything we're doing. Yes. And it just really seems

like he's throwing fuel in the fire. You know, the Paris Accord, he's literally turning around. All right. Literally,

he's pushing world leaders out of the way to get in front of us. Oh, Jesus. Now you sound like, yeah, okay. And CNN's...

No, no, no. I don't want to sound like a libtard. I'm not a libtard. No, I know you're not. I didn't vote for Hillary's... No, no, no. I don't want to sound like a libtard. I'm not a libtard. No, I know you're not. I didn't vote for Hillary. I didn't vote for Bernie. I know.

All right. But he acts like a goof. He acts like a buffoon. He's running the greatest fucking country in the world. And I know he's got red hats that say magma and all that shit. Yeah. He doesn't seem like he's acting in our best interest. but he doesn't seem like he's acting in our best interest.

And there are instances where he's caught that he has criticized Obama, fine, and other leaders. And then you can go back into his Twitter history, and he's like, oh, I don't go golfing. Why is Obama golfing? There's a really important scenario going on right now. I know, and he got two scoops of ice cream. Everybody else got one at the end. I know.

All these little sound bites, but they add up. Okay, they add up. Thank you, Brenda, for the call. Now I'm going to respond. Yeah, they add up. But you just brought up the most petty shit. Obama, the first thing he did was go around the world and apologize for the United States.

Put so many regulations on businesses that the that we were tanking and uh again they're making me defend trump here but you know he's got rid of so many regulations and he's cleaning up a mess that the last guy left and no he's the not most they're not the most presidential so what i say you don't have to go to an ivy league school back in the day that's how it worked as you know a successful guy in the private market became the president um so you know whatever but all the things you're bringing up a kind of petty you know and you you as far as immigration and stuff how can you uh you know argue that we should uh have extreme vetting and defend our borders and all

that stuff and that's how we won by the way so that that and hillary the thick-ankled dog face didn't show up to the game which but uh and as far as you know paris accords give me a goddamn break that's just a you know anything al gore's involved in you know it's a money-making scam it's just another way to fucking try to ruin the united states economy at the behest of the rest of the countries that's all it is that's what trump that's what obama wanted to do throw a monkey wrench into our economic system and that's what the things like the paris ago again that's just my opinion folks but uh he asked me why, you know, what I liked about Trump,

and especially him being non-PC. We need that. I don't know how you can argue that today. If you're left, right, ask Bill Maher. Ask Kathy Griffin. I mean, it's getting ridiculous. Hey, folks, that is it. I want to thank all the callers tonight. Happy birthday to my producer, Andy. If you're going to go watch some

hockey somewhere, I'd like a couple of fellas. And we'll catch you guys tomorrow night. We've got a lot. Mike Vecchione's coming on. Very funny guy. See you guys later. guitar solo I'm out.