The Nick DiPaolo Show - 194 - Kushner Press Conference

Episode Date: July 25, 2017

Kushner Press Conference

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Oh yeah! How are you folks? Welcome to the show. Monday again. Jesus, this comes fast, huh? When you have an adult job, you have to be somewhere? Monday through Friday? What a fucking grind. I'm so used to the Thursday through Saturday.

Yuck yucks. Boy, did I have it good. But I gotta be honest with you, this is better. No bachelorette parties heckling me while I'm trying to be funny. Three fat broads from New Jersey with dicks sticking off their hats going, Hey! Hey!

That was offensive! Well, then fire off a fucking angry email to the club with one of your hooves. Chunky. How are you? How are you, folks? That's the kind of mood I'm in. First of all, thank you to my contributors to my podcast. What do you mean, Nick?

Well, they contribute financially on top of the $3.99 fee. Daniel Pamatuan, always. My boy Dennis the Grab Bag also contributed financially. So did Anthony Andrea, or Andrea. Andrea became Andrea over the last 10 years. I don't know why. And Luke Anderson. Thank you guys so much.

If you want to get the Di the depalo podcast you go to connect pal.com slash nick connect pal.com slash nick and uh you get a free show on itunes on monday it's also on riotcast and stitcher and all that other horseshit and uh then you get four more shows for 3.99 a month the shows of these two hours boil down to an hour here, so if you don't have serious radio, it's a very good deal. It's a dangerous situation. And the contributions, they're still coming, so I appreciate

it and need it. You know, let's be honest. I'm not getting loaded doing this money-wise, but I love this format so much, and I thank the people here at WRKO. I love this format so much, and I thank the people here at WRKO. What's going on, folks? How was your weekend?

Not that anybody gives a shit. I don't. You don't. Oh, boy. When is this happening? When's the premiere of Atomic Bomb? Blonde. Bomb?

I'm hoping it's a bomb. Charlize who i like by the way devil's advocate if you remember she had that baby she had she had baby fat back then now she's uh but i'm sick of i i'm sorry these are the movies that i've been talking about for 20 years where a woman with the stature physically of charize Theron beats up 19 guys. And Hollywood's been hijacked by feminists, and I'm fucking tired of it. And if you guys go to see this, you have a clit. Could I make that any clearer? Unless you're getting off to girls fighting, but it's not girls fighting. It's her beating the shit. Every trailer I saw, she's kicking the shit out of 19 guys.

You fucking feminists, will you let it go? Will you let it go for five minutes? Can you leave it alone? Physically, you're inferior. Inferior. Physically, you're inferior. Yeah, I did the Tonight Show a couple times with Leno, and I think she was on both times.

And I went out with her once. I took her to Fuddruckers. 12 times. And I went out with her once. I took her to Fuddruckers. She's actually a great actress, but that's not the point. I just want to see what the people who write this looks like. I just picked you some broads with mutton chops and giant foreheads and flannel shirts.

I just described myself, by the way. Exactly. I have work boots on. I have a fucking receding hairline. But, Atomic Blonde. Hmm. And Dunkirk came out,

I guess, and did like 51 million. Costs 751 million to make, but I'm sure they'll make it up. I hear a great action film, but if you're into history, you know, it's a cowardly portrayal

I've heard of what went on because yeah they don't even they don't even show Hitler's face they don't even show any of the symbolism

or they don't even mention I think they mention I don't know if they mention the word German it's kind of sanitized again this is from

other reviews but as far as action I heard it's tremendous but I don't know how you're going to top Saving Private Ryan Again, this is from other reviews, but as far as action, I heard it's tremendous. But I don't know how you're going to top Saving Private Ryan the first 20 minutes. It's a lot of that, I'm guessing. I'm guessing Spielberg influenced a lot of people that first 20 minutes. That was, to me, the greatest in cinematography history, the first 20, 25 minutes of Saving Private Ryan.

That and the last 20 minutes of Porky's 2. I can't tell ya... the fuck... FUCK YOU! Oh, come on, it was a joke, you big dink. Porky's 2, the last 20 minutes. Jesus, I felt like I was in the whorehouse myself! Picking up condoms. 866-969-1969

866-969-1969 866-969-1969 so uh i keep looking at shirley stern in the front row with a bunch of guys wearing blonde wigs in the in the picture of the post page 21 what has happened this nation Gobblers of goo have taken over. Let me just read the first few. The foul play and rough treatment in New York could be coming to an end as the battle against cockfighting. Oh, that's a different. It's a story about cockfighting. There's a picture of the goddamn movie in Charlize Theron.

I just assumed the article under the picture, that's how they used to do it. This is about cockfighting. Like, well, I guess it kind of is cockfighting. But she beats up a whole bunch of fellas and I'm sure you young girls

will feel happy about that. Don't you love it when you see, like, oh, my niece is like four years old and she's got a Boy Sucks t-shirt on? How is that healthy?

I don't know. But I hope that... Did you see Dunkirk, Brendan, by the way? Anybody here? No? Nobody yet? No. I figured you would, Andy Fiore. That's my producer because his dad was a World War II vet.

That is true. Right? Yes. So you ought to take him to see that. He's not great at the movies. He's got a lot of hearing issues. Well, I to see that. He's not great at the movies. He's got a lot of hearing issues and visual. Well, I know a bunch of people that aren't great at the movies, and they're not fucking white guys in their 90s, if you know what I'm saying. He misses a lot. Excuse me.

Excuse me. He misses a lot? Oh, dude. Even with Dolby sound? He's got two hearing aids, and he forgets to put one in half the time. You don't have to bring those broads. Oh, two hearing aids. I he forgets to put one in half the time. You don't have to bring those broads. Oh, two hearing aids. I thought you were talking about visiting angels.

I'd go half the time. I'd go, who's that? What is that? What did he say? So none of us would see the movie. I'm answering questions the whole time. All right. I called the visiting angels.

I thought it was an escort service. Lady showed up with two catheters. What? Brendan makes like a sarcastic face. I love that millennial fucking hatred.

Oh, here we go. Anyhow. By the way, we got a guy, Jake, here who's kind of like interning for the night because Andy Fiore is going up to do his old show. What's it called?

The Bombcast? Yes, that's right. No, what is it? Bombcast. Come on. Bonfire. I'm kidding. I love Ocason.

Well, I love soda. Ocason doesn't dare come into our show. Too big for his own britches. Yeah, it's a two-year anniversary. So you're going up there for one night. I didn't know. I knew you were going, you know, I knew you were taking a night off, but I'm going to go over the replay.

You never told us you were going to Montreal. All right. Did he, Brendan? Brendan says no. He's full of shit. No loyalty. What's he giving you? A handjob behind the fucking profit machine?

Part of my contract. What's in your contract? No. Oh, the handjob? Yeah, from my associate producer. Associate producer. He gots. Hey, folks, if you're in the New York City area,

tomorrow night I'll be at the Fat Black Pussycat. Go to ComedyCellar.com for tickets. It's a great little venue. It holds about 70 people. You're sitting in these comfortable couches. There's lamps. It's like they set a real bohemian vibe to it it's kind of like you know like you'd see you know back in the 60s like lenny bruce or something but i'd come in

and ruin it with my hack shit but uh no it's a beautiful place to see comedy very intimate i usually wing half of it going oh i'll develop a new bit out of that and then i go home and i don't listen to it i just delete the show going fuck this i have a day job 866-969-1969 call in because i don't feel like talking um picture on the cover of the post blaz that would be de blasio our left-wing mayor who make obama look like stromurmond, this jerk-off. I couldn't even read the story. I get so upset just seeing him. It just says homeless cleared from Mayor's subway route.

I guess he takes the subway and they hide all the homeless that he creates with his policies. You know what I mean? People laying in their own shit. They're like, don't judge him. I think I will. It can happen to you. No, it can't. I paid attention in high school. Yeah, paid attention in middle school. shit and they're like don't judge him i think i will it can happen to you no it can't i paid

attention in high school yeah paid attention in middle school can't happen to me won't happen to me actually worked hard discipline some of the shit my marine dad taught me so no it's not going to happen to me but uh mayor de blasio they're popping up people coming out of subway grates girl falls asleep she gets pissed on on the side i'm not making this shit up and uh but dink we de blasio has them clear all these bums out of the way i won't even read this story f him f him we'll get to uh we'll get to that myth uh the the whole uh russia collusion jared kush in the thing in a few minutes keep that keep that lie alive too cnn i was watching tv with my wife

this afternoon i go let's put on msnbc let's see what they're talking about let's see if it's russia sure enough okay that's all it says they just can't let it go it's embarrassing i'd hate to be i'd hate to fucking have voted the other way I'd be embarrassed just as a voter it's been what 13 months we'll get to that a few seconds apparently he gave a statement after he was questioned by an investigative committee and turns out he

dated a Russian girl in middle school for five minutes and so he's gonna be doing 11 years in a Turkish prison, getting boned in the ass. What a country of douches. Hey, you can also check this show out at 2 a.m. in the east. That's what we call the overnight. It's 11 p.m. in the west.

And you can listen to the Nick DiPaolo Reddick Show on demand at any time. And go to my website, nickdip.com for my tour dates which are none because i like to stick around locally for the next few months hit me up on twitter instagram facebook at nick de palo at nick de palo dot com ah atomic blonde my ass Before I go any further, sad note, and I think this happened Friday. We didn't touch on it, but one of my favorite guys, he did a, you know, he had a small role on Sopranos, bigger than mine, a recurring role. But John Heard passed away. Now, most of you people probably know him from Home Alone movies.

I don't. I know him from Sopranos. Playing the sleazy detective that Tony Soprano hired to watch Dr. Melfi. And he was so goddamn good. He commits suicide in The Sopranos. Spoiler alert! 11 years later. But he's stuck in traffic and he's leaning.

Do you remember? He jumps off the bridge. Uh- later. But he's stuck in traffic and he's leaning. Do you remember? He jumps off the bridge. Uh-huh. But it sounds like me. This is him. This sounds like me when I'm coming and driving into Times Square to get to my garage. Come on, God damn it. Come on, let's go, let's go.

Let's go. That is so me. I fucking belly laugh when i saw that and two minutes later he gets off he they let him through the traffic right he flashes his badge so he drives through all the traffic and he then he gets up on the railing of the bridge takes out his badge and does a header what was his name in the doesn't really matter but you guys know you soprano fans but uh he had minor back surgery okay and uh that was last wednesday then he's staying at a hotel next to the hospital i'm guessing because they don't have room at the hospital is that what it is and he ends up dying i'd like to get more details on that and is that where we are as a nation now? Checking to the La Quinta Inn? Picking up an

infection from a dirty sheet? Jesus Christ. That made me sad, because he was so goddamn good on the Sopranos. Vin McCasian. Tony hired him as a detective. And he pulls over Dr. Melfi while she's with on on a date because tony

wanted her watched for some reason and he pulls this poor guy over kind of a dorky guy with dr melfi makes him get out and he goes let me search your trunk but guys you ever heard a probable cause he said fuck the legalese he punches beats the guy up kicks him in the ribs opens his trunk and then he goes He goes What are you doing? Don't go off a hamburger When you get steak at home I mean just

And then he always went To whorehouses On the Sopranos Him and Tony went To the same whorehouse And shit Just a great actor But he was a little troubled

I'm 71 years old Sad but He had a son Max And a strange son Who died a few months ago jesus yeah apparently suffered considerable sorrow due to his lack of a relationship with his dad max died peacefully in his sleep at the age of 22 on december 6th his mother sharon wrote in a chilling obituary

published earlier this year without listing a cause of death. In the obituary, his mother detailed the toll it took on Max to not have his father, who died at 71 on Friday. Max was, this is a quote from the mom, Max was in deep grief of not having a father

participating in his life. Sharon wrote on the obituary published by the Bergen Record. He was kind of a, you know, not the judge, but why not judge? Maybe he's a bit of a fuck-up, like most people who go into the liberal arts. Myself included. He was found dead in a Palo Alto, California hotel room. Minor back surgery.

Can I emphasize that enough? minor back surgery can i can i emphasize that enough minor back surgery and so he was uh you know that kind of really bummed me out he's laying in bed he needs pain pills and this is him trying to get the nurse come on god damn it come on let's go let's go, let's go, let's go. Anyhow, too bad. Terrific actor. He was also in Big. Remember, he played Tom Hanks' fucking archenemy. Yes. He's like an immature.

He played the boyfriend of the, yeah. There you go. The right-headed girl. And who also worked at the Toy Company. That's right. Yeah. Vin McCasian. He got an Emmy nomination for that.

I get nominated for an Emmy. Actually, two. For writing for Chris Rohan. So I'm as good as him. Maybe I'll die soon. Come on! let's go that's my wife let's go

come on let's go 866 969 1969 it's always guys it's always the character

Charles Durning the guys I love although Durning was in his late hundreds when he died but this guy's 71 it's never the fucking you know sidekick from Big Bang Theory. Why don't you have a few of those people fucking drop dead?

You can have a party. Fucking how I met your mother. I'll tell you how I met her. At a pool. Pulled her panties off. That's how I met her. What's in your wallet? Your mother's phone number and a condom what's in yours you big dink that's wrong nick that's wrong oh shut it well rest in peace john

hurran it's sad the sun gone too i mean jesus but i want to get to the bottom of the heart the story is the hospital minor back surgery and you're dead? What, did somebody stab him from room service? Let's get to the bottom of this goddamn thing. Mike North. Mike North. Mike in North Carolina. Mike North in Carolina.

Mike in North Carolina. Mike, what's up? Hey, Nick. How's it going this evening? Pretty good. How are you? I'm doing well, thanks. I just heard you comment about him being in a hotel room instead of a hospital. Yes. Hey, Nick. How's it going this evening? Pretty good. How are you? I'm doing well, thanks.

I just heard you comment about him being in a hotel room instead of a hospital. Yes. I just wanted to make a comment. Go ahead. So, again, with these minor surgeries, back surgeries, plastic surgeries, some ENT procedures, if it's done in a location away from the patient's home, say he lives in Beverly Hills, but he has a surgery done in Palo Alto. Yes. He does not necessarily qualify for hospitalization for that.

Yeah, that's wrong. The surgeon will ask him to stay locally so that if there's any problem, he's there in the area. Could have gone to the ER. Yeah. Contacted the surgeon. Yeah. So how does that work out? Well, it didn't work out well for him.

Yeah, it's kind of silly, the whole concept. If you have surgery, I don't care if it's minor or not, you know. I don't know. When did they start doing it? Is this something new, Mike? I had never heard of this concept. I'm sure it's not brand new. No, no.

I'll be honest with you. I had LASIK surgery done in 2001 and uh and the same thing the uh surgeon did the procedure and because i lived about two hours away he asked me to stay in the community that he was in where the surgery was done uh overnight so that if i had any problem i could get in touch with him yeah it's nice to nice to know if I have... That's not uncommon. I mean, that's what, 15, 16 years ago. I lost an uncle. He had open heart surgery. He put him at a red roof inn across the street.

Yeah, I was going to say, open heart's probably a little beyond the red roof inn. Yeah. I know. Where do we decide? What's the cutoff there? What is that? Do you have the anal polyps? Yeah, that's a Holiday Inn Express. All right, Mike. Thank you for clarifying what I thought was

a stupid thing, and you confirmed it for me. That it was stupid? Yes, Mike. It's stupid. We used to stay in hospitals, or if it was minus surgery, you'd go home. Well, Nick, you need to take that up with the insurer. I'm calling Blue Cross Blue Shield right now as we speak.

And probably the right choice. Thanks, Mike. That guy sounds like he's like an actual medical field person. He doesn't see the— People just get anesthetized. Have you ever heard of... I'm not saying it hasn't happened, I'm sure, but what are we, fucking England now? I had Lasix.

Well, it's a little different than back surgery, isn't it? I had Lasix. They told me to drive five miles up the... And I went into a creek in my Jeep because I couldn't see. What the fuck? 866-969-1969. If you've had surgery and been told you had to stay at La Quinta Inn for two weeks. I had never.

Again, that doesn't mean it hasn't been done, but I don't like the concept. It's very third world to me. Very second world. Very Gilligan's Island. But Jason in New York has some information on John Hurd. Go ahead, John. I mean, Jason. God damn.

Nick, how are you today? I'll tell you, I'm very riled up. How are you doing, Jason? I'm doing great. I love the show. I think your politics are retarded, but I tell you, I'm very riled up. How are you doing, Jason? I'm doing great. I love the show. I think your politics are retarded, but I still enjoy your show. Just going out there. I think yours are, though.

You realize that, right? But I'll talk to you anyways. Go ahead. That's what makes us America. That's right, brother. You're the only person, Jason, on your side that understands that. Well, I feel important all of a sudden you are very important that's why we're taking your call i appreciate that i was at a library fair once in the early 90s me and my

buddies and we happened to notice that john herd was there he was dating a a local lady this is upstate new york where i grew up and uh you know we were we were all high and and a bunch of stupid kids and we thought wouldn't it be funny to go up to him and make this stupid Macaulay Culkin face where you put both hands on the side of your face and you open your mouth as wide as you could. And my buddy Tom went up and did it to him. And he looked so utterly disgusted with us.

We were only the 10,000th people to make that joke. We were laughing like just total idiots. And I thought he passed away. It was always the first thing I thought of. He's a great actor. He's always movies.

But he had no sense of humor about people making a stupid cult film. I thought that was a good film. I did appreciate that. Jason, what year was that? It was right around when it came up, Robbie Holm. I was in years. This was probably 92 or 93, and he had done you know i think he did the sequel too so it was probably within a year or two of the most recent one of those movies he was in

yeah p i well i wear you know yeah he's wearing glasses like he's trying to not look like the dad from the homegrown movie right yeah he's held in the sticks where nobody else is worth a damn you know he stood out like this great like i'm sorry you don't like the Macaulay Culkin face. I'll shit for you. I guess you should have stayed home and, you know, had a lemonade instead of going out in public. I did the same thing. I did a similar thing. David Lee Roth used to hang out at the Comedy Cellar.

I came in, he's sitting at the table that, by the way, I created. So I sit down across from him and never met him before. And I just look at him and I go, pretty maids all in a row. Go on and set them up up. Some, you know, line from some fucking beautiful girl. He looked at me. He looked at me. I thought he was going to leap across the table and punch my face in.

And all the other comics just look at me. I thought they're joining, laughing. They go, what the fuck are you thinking? Now, if you'd pick something from Running With the Devil, I think your lyrics are maybe too obscure that was the problem yeah maybe he didn't recognize his own lyrics yeah all right jason thanks thank you vote republican all right get a nice shot in there on the way out i think your politics are retarded, turns out my politics are right in the last election and the one before that in the midterm. So who the fuck's the retards?

For the love of Pete, I'll take one more call before the break. Tommy in Long Island has a... Talking about de Blasio, I brought him up on the subway. They're clearing the homeless out of his way. But Tommy, what up with de Blasio. I brought him up on the subway. They're clearing the homeless out of his way. But Tommy, what up with de Blasio?

Hey, Nick. It's funny. I called you a couple of weeks ago. I commute from Manhattan to Long Island and both times, that time and this time,

I'm driving through a story at the time you pick up. Oh, is there? All right. But anyway, did you see, and it was a woman from Queens,

speaking of Queens, that confronted de Bozo when he went out to Whitestone, something to do with taking down a tree or something. And all these homeowners were standing around, you know, typical middle class, you know, good people. Yeah. And this woman just started confronting him about why did he go to Germany when he should have been at the cop's funeral, that female police officer that was executed. Right, right. And he turns to one of his aides, he's like, get this lady away from me. And she was relentless, and she made so much sense.

I don't know if you happened to catch that. I did not catch that, but that sounds like typical de Blasio. Typical, you know, do as I say, not as I do, talking out of both sides of his face. I'm glad the cops turned their back on him. And it's unbelievable when a city is just a one-party city as far as politics go. Let me ask you, Tommy, he's going to get re-elected? You know, it's funny.

You know who's running against him? You ever heard of a guy, Bo Dietl? Yeah, I love Bo Dietl. So do I. i'm a retired cop he's a retired detective yes great guy i just met him a couple of weeks ago for the first time yeah and i spoke to him and the guy had time to stop and talk to me about the issues and uh you know being a cop and all regular guy and he's actually running against them and there's a lot of guys backing him i don't know if it's just bullshit or the people that I know

that are backing this guy, but you know what? You said it yourself. It's a one-party city. They're all liberals, and unfortunately, they're going to go for this clown again. Yeah, well, they get what they deserve. Even though the subways are fucked up, the traffic's never been worse, homeless are everywhere,

people are getting accosted, the subways don't work. I mean, it's unbelievable. Just because they'll vote the part, it's just amazing. I don't know how Giuliani get in there. I really don't. Tommy, I've got to take a break. Thank you for the call. Thank you, Nick. I really don't. By the way, Bo Dietl,

folks, if you don't know who that is, I'll help you out. He had a little part in Goodfellas when Henry Hill's backing out of the driveway and remember cop comes up the one don't you move you motherfucker that's bo dedal and he was in what was the hbo series um that was canceled with bobby cannavale yes portal no vinyl vinyl vinyl he was in that, right? With Dice and they kill somebody?

That was in Vinyl, remember? Yes, and I think he's- They murder a radio person. He murders Dice. Bo Dietl beats the- I think he's in Wolf of Wall Street, too. Is he in probably- He plays the private investigator.

That's Bo Dietl. But, again, I remember his debut in Goodfellas. Don't you move, you motherfucker. Relax. It's a fucking, well, you look all nervous. You gave me the 30 second. It's a floating break. I might go to five up.

Well, don't look at me like you're having your period, for Christ's sake. This is what I'm getting for you. That's what you just did. That's not what I... You fucking did, too. I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you now get the fuck out of here

see I set you up nice for that I am a radio fucking whiz I pulled that clip today I go how do I work that in I'll get under flowers tits he's training Jake

who's standing here just going Jesus Christ this is popcorn a retarded young lady could handle this oh why are you gonna say that because it offends people you know you can go you can follow the show i don't even know what

this means for live show updates follow what does that mean brendan for live updates people gonna call and go does nick feel better now go ahead yeah for instance when uh judy gold may or may not have been stopping by i updated the viewers on whether or not she was in the studio yet you know, important shit. He tweets out. Huh? He tweets out stuff. Yeah, well,

I sent you a thing. It's called the text screen. People text into the radio show. Are we going to use that? We're looking into it. Are we? Yeah. It's kind of a good idea, right?

Brendan's laughing over there. Brendan's like, that's going to cut into my job. I'm not going to be able to update people. Nobody's going to know who I am. For Christ's sake. Anyhow,

when we get back, we'll talk a little bit about Jared Kushner, just because Tommy from Long Island thinks my politics are retarded. Was that Tommy, or am I confusing him with another? Was that Jason? I don't know. Let's call him Ted from Queens. But we'll update you on that. I guess everybody will be going to jail eventually.

Jared Kushner, again, nothing to hide, but let's pretend there is. And China. China is actually using facial recognition. eventually uh jared cushion again nothing to hide but let's pretend there is and uh china china is actually using you know facial recognition they're actually trying to predict crimes before they happen yes i know huh that was the slanty eye in the sky oh for christ's sake can you say i don't know what the fuck it's satellite radio i can say whatever i want 866-969-1969. Back after this, kids. You're listening to The Nick DiPaolo Show

on Faction Talk Sirius XM 103. The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. Oh, yeah. Welcome back. Final segment of Monday. Man, this one flew. We're getting a nice group of nuts. By nuts, I mean regular callers who are informed.

It's a nice blend tonight. This is like the prototype for this show. Nice blend of, hey, why are you leaning right in your palm? A little of that. A little of 17-year-old Montana hauling hay. You get that mental? It's like a commercial for Chevy trucks picturing but that's what I love about this anyways and Jake the guy is gonna be filling in for Andy

Wednesday just told me what was the branch of the military and Jake army army and and and how many toys did you do over there I to went one in Iraq and one in Afghanistan. Thank you for your service. You're a great man. I did it to make like six guys in Texas rich.

But it's all right. We're all better off. Let me guess. Cheney? Are you from Texas? No. Iowa originally. Iowa originally.

See that? Another corn thread. Patriot. That's unbelievable. Iowa originally. See that? Another corn thread. Patriot. That's unbelievable. Two tours. I went over there and, you know, with the USO, Mearty Lang and Gary Delabate and Florentine and David Tell. We went to Afghanistan.

They threw us up one of those helicopters I got to sit in the gunner seat. Oh, yeah. We always talk about that. I go, yeah, that's real ballsy. Nobody's shooting back at you. Okay. You guys, God bless you, man. Anyways, real quickly, I wanted to get to this.

I thought this is very interesting. China's using artificial intelligence to predict crimes before they happen. That sounds fair, don't it? Sure it do. Well, you remember this movie, Minority Poet Tom Cruise? Lord Marx. Mr. Marx. My mandate of the District of Columbia Pre-Crime Division. sure it do well you remember this movie the minority poet tom cruise lord marks mr marks my mandate of the district of columbia pre-crime division i'm placing you under arrest for the future murder of sarah marks for the future murder place today april 22nd at 0 800 hours

four minutes future yeah so anyways uh china's using the government uses facial recognition system and citizen records to find out possible criminal activities. Recent reports suggest that the Communist Party of China is implementing facial recognition to keep tabs on citizens' activities. That's got to be tough to do in China. If you're basing it on facial. What are you saying, Nick? Oh, you know what I'm saying. What are you saying, Nick?

Oh, you know what I'm saying. This also involves using millions of photographs by directly accessing user accounts on social media and police databases in over 50 provinces across China. Chinese officials are currently testing a new facial recognition system that will track citizens and show how likely, those are the words right there the operators how likely they are to commit crime based on their activities is china the first country due to this not really as such behavioral predictive systems have also been employed in los

angeles first of all los angeles is a city the question was is china the first country to do this this is the retarded type of journalism are you what is this from no fucking it's from the ching tao fing tei teng newsletter can you imagine look is china the first kind no los angeles and milan that's two cities you big dinks where these have been in existence for at least a decade but unlike those countries the pre-crime system in china uses extensive data from citizens yeah you just made this point jesus christ who wrote this an eight-year-old personal records such as online yeah i they just repeated themselves twice how does it actually work i don't give a shit using technology such as behavioral recognition

why don't you say that again in the article in gate analysis this system can spot suspicious individuals in a crowd moreover with more than 150 million surveillance cameras across mainland china government is certainly tightening its grip on Chinese citizens. Yeah, you don't say. It was broccoli with brown sauce. What? Why do you got to say that? Because of bugs, people. And I'll keep saying it.

Till the whining bitch has shut it. Okay, now, this sounds horrible and shit, but it analyzes, you know, your behavioral recognition and your gait, gait, G-A-I-T, folks, as in how you walk.

And let's be honest, in these cameras, who knows, like a government might not be doing this already. Well, like, according to this, L.A. was doing it.

They don't go into any detail how. And I guarantee the Al Sharptons of the world will be saying, what's this? You've been doing this to us for years i'll hear that type of crap but um you know if if that was if we had that technology going on in boston that day you know and you had a database which is very un-american to keep a database of people based on hey that guy walks funny put him. But we would have picked up on those two dinks

with their book bags. And they track if you go to a gun store, or mentions, if you go to a gun store and buy, you know, a bunch of ammo and stuff. Again, very,

it goes against everything we stand for here as far as civil liberties. But this world has turned into such a shithole, I'm actually considering it. Your thoughts? Let's go to the phones.

Um... Huh. I'm actually considering it. Your thoughts? Let's go to the phones. Who do we want to go to here first? Let's go to Mike in New York. Mike. How's it going? I read about this a few months ago. China, they're using it for weird shit. They're using it for like jaywalking, toilet paper theft. That weird shit Chinese people do. It's not anything serious of wait a minute hold on hold on mike like what like wipe their asses weird shit chinese people

well yeah i mean but you know how they walk around the city with a mask on it's that kind of mentality oh i see yeah no they're just doing i was reading it's basically they're trying to get people for jaywalking people people that are stealing toilet papers in public buildings. Good! Yeah, well, but it's not necessarily terrorism. Maybe, if you consider that terrorism... Well, I read a different article. They just did it.

Oh, well, yeah, but... But, yeah, it didn't mention jaywalking or stealing toilet paper, but you were probably reading the New York Times. I think it was actually the Washington Post, so yeah. Oh, it was the Washington Post, even worse. But yeah, no. It's, I mean, weird stuff, but...

Yeah. Yeah, who knows? Maybe it'll be good news. I don't have a problem with using it in New York because I don't plan on doing anything wrong, so if it can protect us, why not? That's funny, Mike. That was going to be my next question,

and that's usually, you know, if you don't have anything to hide, what do you give a shit? But, you know, I like to leave my house or I like to be, you know, take a piss in the backyard not knowing. James Comey and his friends are sitting around yanking it with headphones on. If you walk around New York City, there's cameras everywhere and they know what you're doing. You just could tell. I one time about a few years ago, I don't even remember, but there's subways, you know, it's cameras everywhere, and they know what you're doing. You just could tell. I one time, about a few years ago, I don't even remember, but there's subways, you know, it's like undercover cops waiting everywhere.

And they just, like, they're upstairs, and then there's one downstairs. They just, they know where you are. They just, they spot people, and they're ready to get them, especially with those, you know, even jumping the turnstiles. So it's just always terrible. They're watching. And they even admitted, they said they have a headquarters with millions of cameras, and they know what's going on. Yeah, no, you're right. It's just always terrible. They're watching. And they even admitted, they said they have a headquarters with millions of cameras and they know what's going on.

Yeah, no, you're right. It's everywhere. And, you know, in this day of terrorism, I don't know. I mean, years ago, it was clear-cut. Hey, you're violating my...

Yeah, well, yeah, if we're not violating, you know, someone's going to be violating you with a dirty bomb. I'm not going to explode. I'm happy. I don't care.

All right, Mike. Thank you. All right, thank you. As my buddy said, as far as a bomb going off, you know, just hope you're either a foot away from it or, you know, 100 miles,

but not in between. You know what I mean? You end up with... Either get disintegrated or it doesn't touch you, but the ones in the middle, you got a face like a grilled cheese, one eye, fucking your nuts are burnt off. Jim in Wisconsin, apparently he is Chinese.

No, Jim, go ahead. Oh, hey, Nick. How's it going? I'll tell you, it couldn't be going better, Jim. I'm making 18.5 doing radio. Go ahead. Yeah, I read the article, and it said that it detects if you're going to any suspicious places, like a knife store or a gun store.

Yeah, that's the one I read. Yeah, yeah. And I was thinking, does it also detect, like, it's kind of like a joke, but would it recognize that you're suspicious if you like if you're watching like a dirty movie and like two girls are like uh you know uh finger fucking each other and then would it say you're like a sexual predator at that point well i don't know um that wasn't mentioned in the article, but... Yeah, I... I mean, now you're talking about a camera. Well, I guess...

They're doing that now. I mean, I put tape over the dot on my... Don't you have a big piece of fucking blue tape over the webcam eye? Oh, you mean the camera? Yeah. The camera? I'm afraid my wife's watching. She probably got some software.

Yeah, that's a good point. So, yeah, no, I don't think finger popping is the issue in China, but little tiny fingers. You cross over into the United States. Oh, yeah. No, this technology's already been used in this. It is not telling us. Well, the article mentions Los Angeles. It doesn't go into any detail. I'd like to know what the hell they're talking about, you know? But you're being watched, Jimmy, even in Wisconsin. Yeah.

But, yeah, it's kind of creepy having something like that follow you. I kind of like it. I kind of like if I get enough camera time, I'll get my SAG card. All right. Take it easy, Jimmy. Are you doing the fat black pussycat tomorrow? Yes, I am. Oh, man, I wish I was in New York. Oh.

You can, you know, you can catch a flight tonight. Catch the red eye. Yeah. Out of Milwaukee. Are you going to do all new jokes, sir? Well, you know what? I don't know. You're getting under my skin for some reason.

Nice talking to you, Jim. The fuck you give a shit? You're not coming to the show. First of all, nobody does more new shit than me. I don't do an act anymore. I show up and I be funny. What am I? I said that like I was in the hood.

I be funny, motherfucker. Yeah, I'll show up and i can't remember i'm i'm a radio guy right now i'm not even a comedian i i just i go on stage once every three weeks i i start new bits i get excited about them and then you know i go on stage three weeks later i don't remember that so i try to make something up on the spot that goes in the toilet and you seem irritated tonight. You all right? You seem very raggy.

What's the matter? Nothing. Come on, something, everything all right at home? Everything's fine. Everything is okay. You sure? Yeah. Boy, you got a real cunty look on your face.

I'm sorry. What's the matter? Nothing. I promise. I would tell you. You have a fight with a lady or something? No. Life partner?

Did okay over the weekend, actually. Did okay over the weekend. What does that mean? You know what it means. I saw Brendan sniffing your thumb the other couple minutes. Anyways, that's gross. Back to the show. I'll tell you, what a night.

We're making radio history. You all right? Yeah, promise. All right. Oh, God help us. Bill in Texas wants to speak about facial recognition. Bill, what kind of face are you having? Can we recognize it?

Hi? You're on, Bill. Yeah, go ahead, Bill. Hi. No, I was just calling. You cut it. Do they have cameras or not? Yeah.

Whether they got cameras or not, the intelligence you pick up on people, whether it's trying to predict crime or terrorism, it only really works if the agencies involved actually use that information. As I understand it, they had already flagged the guys from Boston and over in England, where they got a lot more cameras than we do in the United States. They had flagged those guys from their attacks and stuff, and they still didn't make any moves on them. So unless you move on your intel, nothing good happens. No, you make a good point.

But, you know, China, that's a whole different. How many people in China? A billion? That's a lot of data. But you're right. That's actually true. The Boston Marathon Bombers, we did have them on camera, and nobody steps it up because why, Bill? Because we'll be sued. Yeah, you don't want to be profiling or anything. Yeah, God forbid you prejudge.

I like to prejudge. I prejudge. It really saves a lot of time. Brendan's generation doesn't understand that. It's the worst thing you can do to anybody is prejudge. I prejudge. It really saves a lot of time. Brendan's generation doesn't understand that. It's the worst thing you can do to anybody is prejudge them. All right. Thanks for the call, Bill.

Yeah, you guys take care. Brendan. Now I get Brendan mad at me. I get both my producers. They're furious. Fiore came in here bleeding like a stuck pig. I don't know what happened. He had a good weekend, apparently.

Gave some fucking strong middle of hand job behind a dumpster. And now he's mad as hell. How about a hand for Brendan's brother who's in jail in Kentucky. He's a white, we call him a wigger. He's a, but it is soft serve is his name. Yeah, soft serve. How about it? Can he get the rate? He can't get this show in jail, can name. Yeah, Soft Serve. How about it?

Can he get the right? He can't get this show in jail, can you? No, he cannot. They get this channel over here. Shade 45. They get the Eminem channel over there. That's all they get. You're probably not kidding.

No, I'm really not. He has mentioned to me a time or two that they can pick that up for some reason. Yeah, let's imbibe him with some hip-hop culture while they're in prison. That's a good idea. That's how to mellow people out. What the fuck is going on in this country? You... No!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! No! Not this fucking time! No fucking way! No fucking way! No fucking way!

No fucking way, mate! You need to shut the fuck up! Soft serve! Soft serve.an's brother is soft serve all up in his motherfucker right now he's putting cream corn on a plastic dish wearing a fucking shower hat have we they they love lock up m MSNBC loves stories like your brother. Yeah, and he loves those stories. I mean, it's...

When he had an apartment on his TV, constantly. Lockup. Cocaine cowboys. You know, I mean, every kind of crime show conceivable. Yeah. MSNBC Lockup is like Skype for fucking poor people. I cleaned that one up. I say it on stage in a different way, but...

Hey there, Ray Ray. Fucking locker. I absolutely adore that show. Extended stay. Beverly Hills. What? Beverly Hills. Cut to Paris Hilton in there for three minutes.

But they like to focus on the two white guys in the prison. That's MSbc for you let's uh let's you know let's focus on the white guy who took his family what are you guys looking at it's a cleaning woman from brazil for christ's sake you're staring out the windows like you're fucking i need you i use you guys as an audience you realize that boy man dingle dingle. Oh. Fucking Fiori is Fiori-ous. Oof. John of Missouri, welcome to the show, John. Hey there, Nick.

Is it wrong to, every time you see one of them slant-eyed chicks, you just want to hear her say, we love you a long time. All right. Thank you, Johnny. Take care. All right. You've got to be a little subtle with your racism, folks, on this show, all right? You want to keep the show on the air? You don't fucking say shit like that. You let me do it.

Leave it to a professional. But the answer is yes. It's wrong let me sing for you people please come to denver in the springtime oh god well i'm against this uh this is too much is china they're going too far i'm against this uh this is too much is china they're going too far or are they again if you ask people this after 9 11 you know on 9 12 what would they say yeah let's fucking put a camera on everybody at all times that doesn't look like me i see like i these these if you come to new york city folks you can buy like, these vendors selling meat. And these guys are right, they got here from Yemen like eight minutes ago, half of these meat.

And I go up, can I get a chunk of tarameet, please? That's what I call it, tarameet. You might as well be handing your $10 directly to ISIS when you buy them. I get a hot dog. I go, can I get extra? The guy puts a line of mustard, like an eighth of an inch long. I go, what are you fucking? I i go can i get extra the guy puts a line of mustard like an eighth of an inch long i go what are you fucking i go can i get extra mustard he so he puts another line next to it what is mustard like virgin pushy juice in fucking afghanistan pushy juice if i

said pussy juice would have been hilarious i came out and jing plowing but uh the fuck i want extra mustard the guy puts two little like a pubic hair thick line on it what the fuck is mustard like gold fuck in the middle east come on man you get all that ISIS money

set me up yo god forbid you ask for relish his head would explode but uh I'm sure they're over here to sell meat sticks for a living Nick are you prejudging

yeah I am that's my facial recognition i go you got a face for terror so do i do by the way when i lived in la i used to fly out la to do comedy i came back three times not once not twice three times at lax three consecutive times they went through my bag when i landed yeah and. And one guy paid me in cash. Have I get where I was? That didn't look too big thing of cash. You know, with a fucking... Like, what are you doing?

What do you think I'm doing, man? Bringing in pure horse. Let's go to... Oh, Don King in Cleveland is on the line. Donny boy. Nick DiPaolo, you know what I mean? Only in America, only in China can we have this discussion, you know what I mean, about... Donny Boy. the size of Andy Fiore. How you doing, baby? What the fuck? Go ahead, darling.

Preach! Okay, now, Nick, let me talk about this facial recognition. You know what I mean, Nick? What are we talking about here? Yeah, facial recognition. There you go. What did you know? The Qing Chong Chinese.

Now, let me just say something. You ever see that they all look alike? You know what I mean? Now, they say it about my people, the black people, you know, but the Chinese people, and I promoted fashion in China, Nick. You have. I mean? Now, they say it about my people, the black people, you know, but the Chinese people, and I promoted fashion in China, Nick. You know what I mean?

I could predict two things, okay? It's not going to work, and some gay sugar would have a frisbee face buried up in my black booty. Now, with the facial recognition, they all look alike, do they not, Nick? Well, yeah, you know, I don't mean to be racist,

but I think that's a fair a fair, um, statement. It's the haircuts. Well, Nick, only an American can make these statements about the Italians and Chinese. Now, Nick, they're going to analyze how they walk. Now, I hope they don't analyze, I mean, how they drive, because they have to stop every 10 seconds for a car accident. Now, the main thing is, Nick, would you, Andy, if you were walking down the block with you two, would they be able to differentiate between you both Italian?

Yes, Andy's about 6'3", 240, and I'm 508, 117. Okay, but you're both Italian, am I right? Yes, but the Chinese, it's the haircuts. Bobby Slayton, very funny comedian, has a whole bit about the, you know, it's the Moe Howard look of the...

Well, Nick, you know, I appreciate, you know, your input. You know what I mean? I mean, you're bringing the knowledge to the people. You're talking about the Indians. You're talking about the white people. And you're talking about the Italians. So I appreciate that. You got me?

Don, thank you so much for calling in. I got to run because I have nobody else on the line. Don King called. We had, I'm, I'm, I gotta run because I have no, nobody else on the line. Um, Don King called. We had them all tonight, huh? Uh, Staples.

We had Larry. We had, uh, Don King. We had Frank from New Hampshire. And, uh,

we're getting a nice crew. We've only been on the air for about three minutes, folks. Can you imagine in a year the army? I'll be able to make like 1 at a gig some night let's take a look at cnn see what they're lying about driver says he didn't know immigrants were packed inside truck oh you hear about yeah how do

you not know you got a truck of you you know, 70 people. Eight of them, they bake to death. Did you read that over the weekend? Yeah. Horrible. Horrible. Apparently the guy, the truck driver, I don't even, I can't even, I don't even know how to. Yeah, they died.

They were packed in a truck. You know, they're locked in. This guy was smuggling them in. He leaves the truck in the sun. I don't know where he was going, what he was doing. And like eight people. And nobody wants that. But that's why you can't sneak over.

It's kind of dangerous. Imagine the hellhole they were coming from. But whatever. Goodness gracious, Heloise. Real quick, what do we got? About a minute and a half left. Connor, real quick. You're the last call. I got about a minute and a half left. Connor, real quick. You're the last call.

I got about a minute and a half. Go ahead, Connor. Hey, how you doing, buddy? Good. I just wanted to talk about what you were talking about yesterday with that shitty New York Times article. Yeah. Talking about how white women don't get out of the way on the sidewalk. Right.

I take public transportation every day. I'm on the streets every day. Yeah. There is no one, no one more ruthless and aggressive than not even white women or black men, old Asian ladies. You know what? You've got to fucking watch out for it. Connor, I heard a comic say that. Somebody's got a whole bit on that.

It was a New York comic. Thanks for the call, by the way, about how vicious old Asian people are getting off the subway or off an elevator, and they are. I kind of admire them for that. Well, come on. They're small. They're short. They're short. They got to make, you know,

they got to, it's New York. It's bustling. They weigh about six grams, and they got to do what they got to do. Anyways, folks, that is it for tonight. Great show.

I had a great time. Thank you to all the callers. We'll be back here tomorrow, and again, listen to the Overnights at 2 a.m. in the East and 11 p.m. in the West. It's Nick DiPaolo.

Talk to you guys tomorrow. Take again, listen to the Overnights at 2 a.m. in the East and 11 p.m. in the West. It's Nick DiPaolo. Talk to you guys tomorrow. Take care of yourselves. Everybody's happy now, the bad things gone away. And everybody's happy now, the good things here stay. Please let it stay.