The Nick DiPaolo Show - 196 - Google Censors Content

Episode Date: August 8, 2017

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. There's the 16th fret. How are you, folks? Welcome to the show. Welcome to the new time slot. Hello to the drive time people on the West Coast. And that means something because, well, just Los Angeles alone. I live there. I experience drive time. And it's anything but. It's sit time. because, well, just Los Angeles alone. I live there. I experience drive time.

And it's anything but. It's sit time. It's sit and stew in your own fucking anger. Because the highways are eight across, packed. 101. The 405 South. The 5. And glad to be a boy.

Drive time, West Coast. That's Andy Flowers, Andy Fiore. Hello. The producer and Brendan Stipes is on the phone already. He's probably talking to his brother who's in jail in Kentucky. They call him soft serve. Why did you give me the bird? I'm fucking, I'm making your brother a star for Christ's sake. No, yeah, not you,

not you. Oh, what was that? He gave me an Italian gesture, the fucking elbow bent. I'm Irish, I didn't know that meant anything in Italian. Oh, yeah. Anyways, how are you, folks? First of all, let me thank my contributors to my podcast real quickly.

James Shearer, thank you for the financial contribution, as Tony Soprano would say, and Chris DeVito. He's at the pork store. That's a declaration. Thank you guys contributing.

If you want to sign up for the podcast, you go to connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. And you.com slash nick. And you get a free show on Monday, which is on iTunes,

Riotcast, Stitcher, et cetera, et cetera. And then you get four more shows. We boil down the best of this show to an hour or so. Mr. Stipes does a wonderful job of that. And for $3.99 a month, you get four more shows a week. And people are still signing up, and you can contribute financially on top of the $3.99 if you

feel you have that kind of cash. And I know under the Trump administration, you probably do. Things are coming back. If you work in a coal mine in Kentucky, Kentucky, I just said Kentucky again, you can contribute to the show. Connectpal.com slash Nick.

Tomorrow we're off, folks. We're going to play a best of because I will be at the Fat Black Pussycat tomorrow night here in New York City, 8.30 p.m. Eastern Time. So if you're in the area, come to the Fat Black Pussycat. I'll be working on some new stuff.

It's a nice hip place for you guys first time here on the show. Right some new stuff. It's a nice, it's a nice hip place for you guys first time here on the show. Right in the village. It's the Comedy Celeronas. It's right around the corner. It's more hip than any of their

popular rooms. It's, it's a lounge type thing. It's where, you know, so Colin Quinn's there like three times a week working on new stuff.

You bring your notes up. It's all couches and, and, and, and, and, and it's like you're sitting

in somebody's living room like couches and lamps and, and tables. And it's a couches and and and uh and and it's like you're sitting in somebody's living room like couches and lamps and and tables and it's a very gay look and uh i enjoy it personally it's a good place to do comedy and to bomb quietly so that's why we're doing a best of because i couldn't make it in because that shows at 8 30 this shows that you see the conflict but then the rest of the week we're free uh come see me also august 25th 26th, the Stress Factory in New Brunswick, New Jersey. August 25th and 26th, that's a Friday and Saturday night. My boy Vinnie Brand runs it. And September 16th, the Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania.

I did it last year. It was one of my favorite gigs of the year. I might even bring Andy Flowers. Don't quote me on that one. Andy Piore, if you're around, maybe we'll do that one together, but I don't need somebody funny in front of me. Go to nickdip.com for tickets and check out my tour

dates. Enough of that horse shit. How are you, folks? What I want to talk about today. Boy, kind of sad day in the day of sports. Don Baylor, who I absolutely adored. He was a Yankee at one time, a Red Sox, an Oriole, and everything else. He passed away from cancer at 60. And Darren Dalton, a great catcher for the Phillies,

who was their catcher when they won the pennant in 1993. Actually, I think he went on to win one with the... Who was it, Andy? I have it here anyways. The Marlins in 1997 when they beat the uh indians but uh i was very sad about this today i like both those there's no crying in baseball the fuck there isn't i had a little lump in my throat and it really baylor was an mvp Do you realize that in 1979? He's had cancer for 14 years. Just to give you a little,

I just want to give you a little on him. Orioles, Athletics, Angels, Yankees, Red Sox, Twins,

19-year career, All-Star, and an MVP in 70. Can you imagine being an MVP of the whole league? That's something, man. I was the MVP

in Little League. It wasn't even that. I get picked off. I didn't wasn't even that I get picked off I didn't tell you guys That I used to have to wear Hand-me-downs We were poor I had to wear hand-me-downs

And I had two older sisters And I got picked off Because I was wearing My sister's hoop skirt It's a true story Anybody? Nothing? Brandon, don't get all cocky over there

Your brother's in jail You'll be there in a few minutes If you don't fucking Get that look off your face But he won a World Series With the Twins in 87 Don Baylor How about this? Your brother's in jail. You'll be there in a few minutes if you don't fucking get that look off your face. But he won a World Series with the Twins in 87, Don Baylor. How about this? 338 career home runs.

1276 ribbies. That is... Don't give me that Yankee cocky look. I'm thinking if he's a Hall of Famer or not. I wouldn't go that far. That's why I said those numbers don't really... Because... Those numbers don't what? Hall of Fame numbers.

Really? 300 home runs, 1,200 hits. Oh yeah? So Wade Boggs that punching Judy fucking jerk-off who played for my Red Sox who hit for average. Look at his power numbers. He doesn't belong in the Little League Hall of Fame. Is he? Is he in? Oh, he's in the Hall of... Oh, sure.

Because average means everything. It's the least important statistic in baseball, batting average. Look at his power numbers. He averaged about 14 homers a year and about 60 RBIs. P-fucking-you. Do you know what I mean, though? This is a Red Sox fan talking, folks, about Wade Boggs, okay? Sure, he's a nice guy.

He eats a lot of chicken, a lot of pussy. We've all heard these stories. Unlike Andy Fiori, who enjoys young Cubs Cubs. That's true. Um, how about 52 steals one year for Baylor? I always pictured him as a big muscular. 285 steals. 14 different Major

League teams as a player, coach, or manager. And he said cancer for 14 years. Okay, so, uh, rest in peace. And then Darren Dalton, Philly's catcher. This is what's creepy about this story about Dalton dying of cancer.

He was diagnosed with glioblastoma, an aggressive form of brain cancer that also took the lives of Tug McGraw, former teammate, and former coach John Vukovic. Anybody want to look into asbestos in that locker room seriously I'm serious

I'm not trying to be funny what the fuck anybody half the left side of the infield passed away and it's like Jesus Christ really somebody want to check the showers or whatever those buildings weren't approved back then

Fenway you don't think that place is dripping with mesothelioma? Dalton played 14 and a half of his 15 Major League seasons with the Philadelphia Phillies. And he won the World Series with the Marlins. 1997. Now, here's numbers that aren't the Hall of Fame, okay? 245, 137 homers, and 588 ribbies in 1,100 games. No. Okay?

But today, where everybody gets a trophy, they kick it around. Well, they liked him a lot. He got laid a lot. But he led the National League. Went to three All-Star. 109 ribbies in 1992. Rest in peace, both of yous because to make a professional sports team is phenomenal in the first place and baseball is the most difficult i believe it's like

one in 70 000 or something that's why i laugh when i see people at the park on you stink you suck sit him down really really shithead with a shamrock t-shirt on and the freckles? Anyways, I like to start the show on a dour note. And this just in, Brendan Stipe's sister has a cyst on her foot that's been infected and she has a fever.

Yeah, so... Two guys that I uh i really appreciate it yeah i uh what went on this weekend real quickly i'd like to get to the news and trigger the calls but uh i have a real problem with passive aggressive people i almost respect people who are aggressive all right i respect somebody who will stick a gun in your face and rob you in a bodega. Before I respect somebody who's snooty to you. With a smile on their face.

And cutting you to ribbons even though they're a hateful little fuck. Well, I had that experience. I went out to eat. With my mom and dad and a friend of mine. And went to a local restaurant. And this waitress waited on me. And I'd say she's 6'2", about 205 with a tattoo on her arm. So just painting a picture for you and um anyways she sits down first thing out of her mouth she brings uh whatever water to the day she goes to my buddy in this tone move that napkin so right away i got

a fucking problem and my buddy who's sitting next to me his family's in the restaurant business so um move that napkin just like that i had to bite, his family's in the restaurant business, so. Move that napkin. Just like that. I had to bite my tongue right there. But the fun's just beginning. Then we order our things. Comes back. She goes, who had the beer?

Which I did. I don't know how she can forget what the other, because everybody else had water or Diet Coke, whatever. So, and I'm like, okay, whatever. I had the beer. Then we order our, whatever whatever our appetizers and shit yeah comes back who had the soup which was me and she brings me a cup instead of a bowl now my buddy goes now she's fucking with you because and again i'll explain why i think she is so i'm not going to say anything still because my mother's there and my dad, who's, you know, not really paying attention.

What are our entrees? I got a fish, haddock from New England. Love it. Would you like, oh, I said, can I get chowder? Before I go to my soup, I said, I want chowder. And she puts her hands on her hips and literally rolls her eyes. That's only on Friday. And then she rattles off nine soups.

She said it so fast that nobody could understand. Just, again, passive-aggressive horse shit. So I said, what was the third one you said there, mumbles? I didn't say that. I said, I'll have a bowl of minestrone. She brings me a cup of minestrone. Again, biting my fucking thing. What do you want with your fish?

I'll have French fries. Brings the eye. Puts my fish down with rice pilaf next to it. Now I'm fucking steaming. My friend's like, don't. Your mother's here. Bah, bah, bah. Keep you cool.

Nah, nah, nah, nah. A few minutes later, halfway through the meal, anybody need water? My mother goes, I need water. I go, I'll have a water too. She comes back with one glass of water, puts it anybody need water my mother goes i need water i go i'll have a water too she comes back with one glass of water puts it in front of my mother and then i look at her and i go do you have a fucking problem with me and they have to when my mother's like no no don't and i just give her a hateful look my mother's sweating bullets it's not a place she frequents

a lot so fuck fuck this so go, you got a fucking problem. Are you serious? That's what she says. I go, you haven't heard a word I've said. You've got three things fucking wrong. I gave you the benefit for the first 10 minutes. Now you've, you know, whatever. My friends, take it easy.

By the way, he used to be more crazy than me when it comes to this shit. Has anybody experienced this? So this, here's my take on it. My mother didn't understand. I go, mom mom you're always talking about how everybody knows me you know in the local area which is fucking true i'm not famous by any stretch but locally and i go do you think she voted the same way i did seriously she could have been you know a defensive end for the Eagles I have to explain to my mother

I go you say I'm fucking famous do you think she might know who I am when I walked in here because I know the other people did the other waitresses I heard and she obviously hates what I stand for well this could all be my imagination I don't think so not after fucking with me three times

it felt so good I'd do it again Well, this could all be my imagination. I don't think so. Not after fucking with me three times. It felt so good, I'd do it again. But I had explained, you know, my mom, you know, right away jumps to anybody's side but mine. Because, you know, we have a kind of a contentious. Love it or death, don't get me wrong. But Andy has the same problem, Andy Fury. You know, I'm closer to the old man. I don't know why. For whatever reason.

But am I wrong here, folks here folks really who had the beer who had the soup then the wrong size soup i'll have french rice pilaf there's four of us it's not a party at 22 it's not a party not a bachelor party with fucking 85 drunk there's four of us two of them are in their 80s, and I'm sitting next to my butt. You think you could... And then... Brendan, am I... Seriously. Now the rice pilaf is what kind of sets me over the end, you know? And I bit my tongue with the rice pilaf.

That's the one that put me over, too. That's a dead giveaway. That's a dead... How do you confuse french fries with rice pilaf, you fucking tattoo-wearing ass? Guaranteed she knows who I was. She probably... I probably went to high school with her for Christ's sake. She looked a little younger than me.

I know there was a family that did not like me that the girl I graduated with. Very Italian-looking. This could have been a relative. Then again. But I'm just saying. I am just saying. I had more respect if she dumped that soup over my head like Tom Cruise in that movie fucking cocktail. Instead of trying to, oh, really?

Oh, mistake. Oh, I forgot again. Jesus Christ, is that ballless. That's the equivalent of being on Twitter and being anonymous. And, you know, I mean, it's that same kind of cowardness. Cowardice, I should say. Oh, fried my apples. Fucking Sarah B. Hucker Sanders.

What's her name? Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Sarah Huckabee. Andy came up with that one. Oh, angers me. 866-969-1969. 866-969-1969. And I contend that we live in such a politically contentious time that douchebags like that who were that far left, I could tell she wanted to arm wrestle me, get the point, would do something like that.

I really do. And you can call me paranoid, whatever the fuck. It was so obvious. My buddy picked up on it. And, you know, after I explained to my mom mom it made a little more sense of course she can never go back there again but uh it's my buddy my buddy goes i i wish you didn't do that because you have your parents still have to i go they've eaten here twice in the last fucking two years relax the haddock was killer by the way i'd go there again and put up with her shit that's how good

the food was i would go back, and the haddock was tremendous. It's about a foot long, about four inches wide, with a light batter on it. Flaky crust. Only thing salty was the bit. Serve it! Motherless. Am I wrong? That's the times we live in.

I just really believe she knew, you know. And again, I'm not saying that would happen in any other state. My mom's like, oh, you're famous. Why? Well, the guy at Logan Airport asked if you were a comedian. I'm like, okay, that's one person in eight years. I am. I can't even go to the mall without getting mauled

Jesus Christ but that's what the people on the left do that's how they are that's how they fight filthy should have thrown the haddock in my lap and get it on 866-969-1969 yeah I have a real problem passive aggressive

I'd rather an aggressive person who just comes up. I don't like your fucking politics. I like the people calling. I don't agree with anything you say, but I find you funny. How many times have we heard that? I don't agree with you politically. And I go, why? Now I go, why the fuck not? Obviously, most of the... Oh, he didn't win the popular election. Well, yeah, that's true. But if we put together that voter fraud commission, we'll find out just how much he would have won the popular vote by, right? Instead of the thick-ankled dog face who's up in Chappaqua laying behind a rock and crying like a bitch. Yeah, that really, it felt good. It was liberating.

You ever cut loose, Andy Flowers, on somebody like that? Or had a similar experience? Because the comedy where it's filled with passive-aggressive. Right? Which I hate as a quality in anyone. But I like to give servers the benefit that I did that job and bartended for so long. Don't you dare take that bitch's side. I'll come across there and shave your fucking face.

Look at his dead skin. This guy, I'm starting to think you're a little humorless. I'm kidding. Oh, you asked if I'd ever done that. Well, you have a shirt on that says wussy. It's a band I like. That's a band? Yeah, it's a band named Necro.

Are they as good as fish? By the way, the fish was terrific. So, yeah. The comedy world is filled with Paz and the Grizzly. Absolutely. Your mother's Paz and the Grizzly? Oh, God. Your mother's the Paz and the Grizzly?

That's because she's an older woman. She's what? She'll be 106 on Tuesday. She's 71. Oh, 71. That's still hanging in there. That's my old man. The old man.

Wait a minute. Yeah. 22-year difference. Yeah. My grandfather, 23-year difference. man is the old man wait a minute yeah 22 year difference yeah my grandfather 23 year difference 23 that's the name of a band wussy and it's got a really ugly girl in the fucking but let me give you an example of a passive-aggressive in the comedy world i'll give you a perfect example whether it's a fan or or another comedian hey i saw you i saw you special on whatever yeah you saw it it's usually followed by very funny or whatever i saw you at the comedy set last wednesday and they stopped there yeah

motherfucker that's like gone i saw you doing an open heart surgery on a two-year-old baby and just stopping there instead of saying, how did it turn out? Am I right? You've dealt with these people in show business. Oh, absolutely. It's filled with them. Because the show business is filled with cowards. Kids who get picked on in school and who didn't have the balls to play because they were small and the parents are mean at them.

You know what I mean? 866-969-1969. It's the worst quality in a person. It really pisses me off. You want to see that? Well, like Jim Acosta on CNN. Given a lecture the other day. Did you see thathen miller guy the guy with the dead rape eyes oh my god did he clean his clocks really you've never met anybody outside of the outside of britain that speaks spanish

oh my god he made this politically correct douchebag look like the douchebag that he is and then he quoted the statueue of Liberty. Oh, it was beautiful. Let's go to Ryan in Connecticut online, too. Ryan, welcome to the show. I work myself up into a leather. How are you? Thank you, sir, for having me on. Oh, my pleasure.

Thank you for your work. Thank you. I'm a proud veteran, and I'm trying to break into standard comedy. And let me tell you this, brother. It's hard trying to come up with an act that's not going to get me roasted at the fucking stake here. Let me tell you this. Did you say you were a veteran? Yes, sir.

Well, first of all, thank you for your service. Not that it matters. What branch were you in? U.S. Navy Seabees. The men's department of the Navy. Wow. Did you say the men's department? Yeah I drove dozers

And I carried an M16 And uh Did what I had to do You know Do you hear what he said? He drove dozers And fucking carried an M6 That is a

Oh my I didn't even know They had that department Of the Navy You ever seen the movie Fighting Seabees With John Wayne You need toabees with John Wayne? You need to watch it.

With John Wayne? It actually, yeah, it entails our inception in the United States Navy. I did not, I have not seen that, but I will check that out. It's on your to-do list, obviously, sir.

Absolutely. Well, Ryan, so now you're trying to break into comedy. Yeah, I'm trying to, and it's insanely hard to try to make an act that's not going to piss people off. But I understand to make an omelet, you've got to break a couple of frickin' eggs. Right away, I can tell you have, I think, what it takes, actually. Anybody drives a bulldozer and carries a gun at the same time.

My father did. He worked at the city dump in my hometown. Yeah, no. Funny enough, I used to be a garbage man. Look, you don't... I think Ryan's got it. Let me tell you about the Northeast. There's a lot of... Well, I'm in Connecticut, but I root for Boston. I believe in Boston. Yeah. But where'd you grow up? That goes without saying. Where'd you grow up, Ryan? I grew up in a little hick town called New Milford, Connecticut. New Milford.

I know where it is. It was a town where Mr. Deeds was filmed. Mr. Who? Mr. Deeds with Adam Sandler. Oh, okay. You say that like it was a godfather. You say that like it was a godfather, that movie. And everybody rushed out to see that piece of shit, but okay, I get your point.

Hey, I want to say what, because, you know, everyone joked with me in the service. They said, oh, you're from Mantrax, All-Star Hampshire. I'm like, no, I'm from New Marford, Connecticut. Right. I'm looking at the screen right now. Anyways, so here's my advice to you, Ryan. Don't worry about, you know, the audience not liking what you have to say. That's half the beauty of doing what we do for a living.

It's one of the few places a guy that leans away politically, and again, I'm making some presumptions here because you're a veteran, but that's the beauty of it. Oh, yeah, I'm definitely leaning to your side, but I want to try to do it. that's the beauty I'm definitely into your side but I want to

try to do it you know I'm trying to break in in this day and age with social media I can get crucified for the stake

instantaneously if I even fart too loud you know what I mean yeah well again I understand we get comedic license

fuck social media it's about don't worry about it just how long have you been doing comedy uh tomorrow I go up for like fifth time Fuck social media. It's about, don't worry about it. How long have you been doing comedy? Tomorrow I'll go up for like fifth time in my career.

Yeah, that's two more times than my sister did. Listen, you're not a comedian. Hey, listen to me. I'm aspiring, aspiring. Yeah, you're exactly. I'm really close. But my point is you have the right idea. Go out and speak from your heart and your gut.

First of all, you've earned it. And let the chips fall where they may. Hopefully on the head of a liberal jerk off in the front row. That's all I got. I would love that. All right. Spraying with the M16, that would be fucking splendid. Yeah.

Don't go that far. We can't do that. No. Hit him in the chest with a full basket of chicken wings. I mean, but don't worry about it. Speak from your gut. Get on stage as much as you can. We thank you for your service.

I'm coming up against a break here, so good luck to you. All right, thank you so much. You got it, sir. You are correct, sir. One more call before the break. David in California. What's up, David? Nick, welcome to the new time slot.

I like it. I love it, brother. I lived on the West Coast for four and a half years and had some good times there. I'm more of an East Coast guy, but I respect the drive time out there because let's be honest, that's a captive audience, is it not, David, on the 405 at 5 o'clock? Perhaps. Well, my personal thing is different because I don't get serious in my car, but who cares? But, you know, actually what I was calling about is the waitress story.

Right. Don't you really think that she just was a bad waitress? I mean, do you think she would have risked her tip to piss you off? I guess you don't know what a passive-aggressive is. Yes, of course. Especially, how do you know that? I know she didn't already make her money that night before i even came in and uh absolutely i know telling the story you might not pick up on that vibe

but my buddy next to me picked on it picked up on it before i did i mean it's so you know and you know what you know what dave uh we i still tipped her like 20 over 20 i was gonna ask you that i did that because you know why i'm not a fucking douchebag leftist who would have taken it to the grave. I gave her a nice tip to go, there you go, this is what we do on the right. I'm an unapologetic capitalist. Here's 22%.

Get another tattoo, you thick-necked wolf. Well, that was big of you. It really was because I'm a petty son of a bitch, Dave. But I mean, don't you think you might be just a little bit, I mean, do you get this kind of treatment a lot from people? You don't have to get it a lot. I get it, you know, believe me, I'm very paranoid about, of course, you don't know. I could walk in and somebody saw me on Tough Crowd talking racial honesty, and they're going to spit in my fries.

But then people on the right would give you better service, I suppose. Yeah, but they don't. They're in real jobs. They're trying to make real money. But yeah, not necessarily. But no, Dave, I really am a good judge of character. And it was really obvious. She had just her tone.

Even with my buddy, when she goes, move that napkin. I mean, I wanted to reach out and choke her right there. And then when I accidentally ordered chowder and it wasn't available on set, you should have seen her. And those are the two things I was given on the benefit of the doubt, but the rest of it was pretty obvious. Wait, Dave, where do you live out there? Santa Monica.

Oh, beautiful. You know, it's nice, but it's developing now, and the traffic is bad. It's not what it used to be, but it is pretty great. What was it, Dave? What is it, the Third Street Promenade?

What is it? What's it called? Yeah, the mall, yeah, the Third Street Promenade or the Fort? What is it? What's it called? Yeah, the mall, yeah, the Third Street Promenade. I spent many depressed nights after I found out bad news about an audition and go out there and drink and lay on a bench with a homeless guy. Well, you know, I haven't seen you. I mean, I'm waiting for you to come out and play here somewhere, but you don't get out here that much.

I don't because I can make the same money driving over the George W. Bridge in 40 minutes. That makes sense. But you know what? I do got to get out there because now we're drive time, and there are a lot of my fans out there. So thank you for calling, Dave. I appreciate it. Okay. Good luck.

All right, brother. Let's take a break, folks. The phones are lit up, as usual, and we'll'll come back take some more calls on this and I'd like to also talk about Google I mean they're all over the news today with their with their stupid you know this stupid leftist agenda and they have fascist fucking ways they're gonna decide what's what's hate speak and what's it's just unbelievable to me. Can we break up these? I don't hear about monopolies when we're talking about high tech. And you notice that anybody.

Anyways, we'll talk about that. We'll take a few more calls on this situation. You people who have dealt with passive aggressives, 866-969-1969. Sit tight, kids. You're listening to the Nick DiPaolo Show on Faction Talk Sirius XM 103. And now, back to the Nick DiPaolo Show on SiriusXM, Faction Talk 103.

Hello, welcome back, folks. The first night of the new time, the 8 to 10 slot here on the East Coast. Good to be with you. 866-969-1969. Final segment of the evening on a Monday. Tomorrow night, the best of, again, though, 8 o'clock star. And I'll beat the fat black pussycat downtown. Yes, I will. And we were talking

about Google all over the news today. First of all, you know, one of their employees wrote a little manifesto giving his opinion on why that mostly white males work there or whatever. And that started a shitstorm.

With, like I said, you know, the far left chicks who just, it's just relentless. I can't spend so much time on this. And then Google, which, uh, owns YouTube, they're making a move to, you know, censor what they consider controversial content. to censor what they consider controversial content. And they bring on the Anti-Defamation League to help them decide what's... When's the last time the ADL defended somebody like me

or Anthony Comia or anybody who isn't infected with groupthink? Kevin in Long Island says, Greg Fitzsimmons, my buddy, was talking about me on Legion of Skanks. Kevin, what's up? Yeah, how you doing there, Nick? What's up, Kev?

You all right? What's that? I'm on speakerphone because I don't want to be like all these jackass callers, calling and misquoting someone. No, I can't. I got an actual clip cut out for you. I can hear you. I can hear you. All right, hold on. This is the clip cut out for you. I can hear you. I can hear you. All right, hold on.

This is the clip of Greg. Oh. Even at white, it is, you know, I love the guys that are always saying, like, it's hard for a white guy these days. You know, the Nick DiPaolo's of the world. Like, yeah, how about fucking being a white guy and trying to get a break? Well, I don't know. It's not that hard. If it's hard for you, you're not that good of a white guy.

It's not a nightmare, but we could get Dave pretty riled up and started. I won't let it play on, but just another passive-aggressive thing I want you to be aware of. All right, thanks. I never said it's hard to be aware. That's so classic. That's such a liberal, stupid, reflexive reaction. I've never said it's hard or that we're oppressed. That's just, Fitzsimmons disappoints me sometimes.

I think he's, you know, brighter than that. But I've never said that. Find me a quote with me going, it's hard to be a white guy. If you're not acknowledging, we read every day, we've done stories here since I've come on the air about college campuses actually putting out shit about getting rid of white masculinity as the problem today. That's what I talk about. I've never said it's hard to be a white guy. And I say the difficulties of being a person of color are exaggerated. And I got a bunch of people of color who would agree with me on that.

Anyways, I... Fitzsimmons. He wanted me to be... Oh, he wants me to do his podcast again, because, by the way, the last time I did his podcast, it was the highest-rated podcast in the history of the Greg Fitzsimmons podcast. So... Anyways. Can't get that mad at Greggy. Greg Pitt Simmons podcast. So, anyways.

Can't get that mad at Greggy. He just falls into that. He grew up in Tarrytown. White, you know, fucking Westchester. You can't get any more liberal. And he swallowed the poison for years. This whole area needs to be douched of their groupthink.

They need a real douching. A nice fucking rubber hose right up there on the nice steady stream of conservative spit right into that stink hole to flush it out

and wake the fuck up. Stink hole? Hello. Hi, I'm Charlie Rose. For the love of God. Chris in Alberta. That would be Canada. Chris?

Yes, indeed. Canada, indeed. How are you? You know, I was just sitting here thinking, this whole argument about how many women work at Google here, that's kind of a moot point until you look behind it. And since the you know, the liberal universities spearhead so much equality bullshit, why don't they go

and look at their own enrollment and see what percentage of women are enrolling in computer programming and things like this? If women are only making up 20% of the class, you shouldn't expect them to be representing 50% of the workforce. That is correct. But now you're talking common sense and backing it up with facts and numbers. They don't like that. It's all about emotion, Chris. It's all about emotion.

It's about going in, you know. Go ahead. Yeah, absolutely on the emotion thing for sure. But, I mean, now I don't know. Hey, who knows? Maybe women are making up 60% of the class right now. And if that's the case, then yeah, there's something a little wrong there. But something tells me I doubt it.

Yeah. Well, that's what businesses do. It used to be a meritocracy. You hire somebody who's really good at something. And that's why white NBA owners have predominantly black teams. They're really good athletes. That's a generalization. There's a few Asians who can dunk.

No, there aren't. Oh, God help me. I'm so tired of spending my life on this, you fucking PC dummies. That's just what it is. Our Father who art in heaven. Jim in Mississippi has an opinion on the Anti-Defamation League and their input to YouTube.

Go ahead, Jim. Welcome to the show. Oh, hey, Nick. I'm a big fan of yours. I talked to you a bunch of times at six o'clock, but now it's good to talk to you at eight o'clock. Thank you for making the switch over with us. Yeah, yeah, it's good to talk to you. Yeah, I was I was looking at the ADL thing and I mean, it might not be the worst thing for them to censor that, because some people

could use a refresher, you know, if they're getting too dark in their searches, you know what I mean? Yeah, but they only want to see, they only point out

those dark searches when they come from the right, it seems. Yeah, that could be come from the right, it seems. Yeah, that could be true. That seems to be the problem. Yeah. But in terms of the ADL, I mean, it's kind of good to have them around, you know. Yes. Like when I was in third grade, you know, I was called, you know,

like I was called a bitch more times than Heidi Montag at Blooming Hills. Wait a minute, Jim. Now, did you say in third grade? Yeah, no. In Mississippi? Fifth or sixth. In Mississippi? Yeah, sixth. In Mississippi? Yeah, they're pretty brutal.

Are you Jewish? No. Oh. Why would they call you a bitch? No, because I don't know. I don't know. But, you know, these kids in Mississippi are ruthless. Well, yeah, you say the kids in Mississippi are ruthless,

and so are the 20-somethings in Seattle when a conservative tries to speak at one of their campuses. But, yeah. Yeah. No, I agree. Look, the ADL has a purpose because there was a lot of anti-Semitism, but they don't seem to be playing right down the middle. They seem to, I agree with them on Israel.

I'm like pro-Israel and stuff, but, you know. Yeah, I'm very pro-Israel as well, yeah. But they throw me and our friend McGinnis, Gavin McGinnis, into the alt-right, which I don't give a shit. Good, I'm alt-right. Which I don't give a shit. Good, I'm alt-right. Who gives a shit? Yeah. Yeah, I agree.

I agree. But yeah, it's great, great talking to you, Nick. Thank you, Jimmy. You're my favorite comedian. I appreciate, Jimmy. And don't let anybody call you a bitch anymore.

You've grown up to be a fine young fella. Or girl. Thanks, man. Appreciate it. Take it easy. What the hell was that about? When I was in sixth grade, they used to call me a bitch all the time.

Why is that? Well, I went to school in a mini skirt and a big floppy hat. These kids can be ruthless down in Mississippi. I don't know where kids aren't ruthless. I was a real prick. I remember hitting a fat kid in the back of the legs with a wiffle ball bat on a really cold day. It's a true story. I cried about it.

Like months later, it bothered me so much that I did it to this kid. He was kind of, you know. And I waited for him. He walked through, came through an overpass. And I smacked him on the, right in the back of the, oh, echoed. What a horrible story that is. But then again,

like I said, then when I was a freshman in high school, the senior broke a fucking payphone thing over my head at the mall, or CB, cracked me.

Remember I told you I went to a metal shop and I fucked up his project? Right, right. We were making, the project was making, you canon like a civil war canon you had to turn down a like a three inch piece of stock it took like three weeks to work on this thing and we're about two days from finishing i went over to the lathe and i reversed it and

fucking blue smoke's coming off it and i took off it was the last class of the day i took off out of there and the kid act the bully actually laughed about it he couldn't believe that i had the balls of rowan's project that's how i was raised that greasy eye for an eye cannon for a cannon that was just that call just cracked me up though that guy going, he's calling me a bitch all the time. Why? Because it's Mississippi. Oh, goodness gracious, hell-a-ways. Let's go to John

in Florida. John, welcome to the show. I'm sure it's hot as hell down there. Yeah, it's very hot. How you doing, Nick? John, what's with the sinkholes in Florida? What are you guys living on? Mud pies down there? What the fuck? Pretty much, and that'd be calm pies. Gotta try one sometimes.

It's creepy every time I put it on the news. I'm as conservative as they come. I'm a veteran. I'm a Republican. And I have the Island of Misfits toys working for me. I got trannies. I got gaysays i got super libs i got super republicans the main thing that we all draw together for is working ethics and this all works out even the super libs and the whatever you want to call them yeah even weird things hey y'all want to work and make a living and make a lot of money, and they all come together

for that. We all have a little bit in common. We're not talking about drug dealing, John. We're talking about actual business. It's an actual business. What kind of business is it? It's a courier business. You got trannies working for you in a courier business?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. A couple of my best people are. And they're good at that. You wouldn't even know. But they're conservative. They get that, hey, work ethic and doing what's right. And that's all that matters.

I want people that work for me that have a good work ethic. Yes. And want to make money for their family. And they can make a lot of money. Well, that's all good for me. Let me ask you a question work ethic. They want to make money for their family, and they can make a lot of money. That's all good for me. Let me ask you a question, Joe. Why don't they get to voice their opinions on TV and shit?

Where's the conservative tranny? He would not be put on TV by the left. I got a couple of more for me, and the thing is, they are ostracized by their own group. I know, because they don't walk the party line. They don't walk the party line. Yeah, exactly. And it's not them. ostracized by their own group. I know, because they don't walk the party line. They don't walk the party line.

Exactly. Well, no, and it's not them making the decision. It's the party that's making the decision. Yes. It's not their decision. It's their group saying they're not favorable. I know. That's the problem. Yeah, well, it's like being a black... But they're awesome. I believe it. Good guys.

Good women. Well, that's the thing. It doesn't matter. All right, goddammit, I get the point. They're good people, John. Love you, Nick. We love you, Nick. See you next week. All right, Johnny. Mother of Christ. Yes, I'm with you. That's the point.

A meritocracy. You think, you really think an owner of an NFL team is going to go, you know, like Prescott, the quarterback of the Cowboys. Jerry Jones is all crusty white. You know, he fits the prototype, isn't he? White Arkansas guy should be the racist, rich white owner. Do you really think he's going to start Tony Romo of a Prescott? What's he want to do? Where's the money? It's in winning, isn't it? But again, you talk to

certain people and they talk like it's 1966. What's a courier service? Deliver and ship? Yeah, messenger service. I just poked myself in the eye with my glasses. Jesus. I scraped my cornea. I just ruined my sclera. Did you see that? The arm of my glasses went in an inch into my... There's like blood on them. There's blood and eyelashes on the end of my... What do you mean no? Fucking call hyperbole.

This guy's a comic. Jesus, Brendan. We're going to switch seats. Fucking get this guy in the bones. Anyways, I like the new time slot. You know why? I'm going to go out right now and have like 11 drinks. And I'm going to stay up, go home,

snort some Coke, watch a guy sell those copper pans till 4 in the morning. And then I'll sleep late. I've got to stop my days later. Alright, kids, thanks. It was fun being on DriveTime. This is the new slot. 8pm in the East, 5 in the West. We'll talk to you kids tomorrow. No, best of.

And we'll talk to you live on Wednesday. Take care of yourselves. Take care of yourselves.