The Nick DiPaolo Show - 206 - NFL / Burger King Burger Bully

Episode Date: October 24, 2017

NFL / Burger King Burger Bully

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. How are you? Monday. Pee fucking you, I say, on Monday. Are you with me? Sure you are. Welcome to the Nick DiPaolo Show. I'm your host, Nick DiPaolo. How's it going, everybody? All right? Hey, if you're in the Saratoga Springs area, November 10th and 11th, I'll be at the Comedy Works.

November 17th, Cary Memorial Hall, Lexington, Mass. November 18th, the Cabot Theater, Beverly, Massachusetts. Hit me up on Twitter, at Nick DiPaolo, in Facebook and Instagram and all the other stuff. People who don't have anything to do, play with, including myself. I send out one tweet every eight weeks. Is that too little? I don't... Some guy, it says says Joe Blow followed you it said that

on like Friday night and that's still the thing on my that's the last thing activity I really don't know how people do it I don't

I did go on there for a minute today and check the you know the feed and I see Sarah Silverman and as a picture

of Trump something about abortion and it just says fuck you like 11 times in capital letters. I love how my vote has turned people like her suicidal. Do you understand that's better than porn?

Watching somebody like that flip the fuck out every day. There's a few others I could mention. I love that me pulling a lever for this mama Luke sent you guys into a mentally ill frenzy. Unbelievable. How empty are your lives that you can sit on that thing and fucking tweet politics every 12 seconds? Jesus H.

Get a prostitute, a puppet, something. Nice sandwich. These kids have too much. Oh, these millennials, I'll tell you. You know what these millennials need? I'll tell you. They need this type of... Oh, I got some audio of my dad.

This is how my dad raised me. I will cost you a full day to pay for this. 6,000 square foot house, six feet. Maybe if I plug this into the board. Jesus H. Just ruined it. By the way, that's my iPad. Don't worry.

There's a new one that I got this week, and it's much better. It's got an apple on it, so it must be nice. There's a picture of an apple on the box, so I'm sure it works. It's my old man yelling at me. I work hard all day to pay for this 6,000 square foot house big screen TVs food on the table video games all kinds of scooters and bicycles Columbia University and for

what to come home to this sucks to be you My God, Tony! There's more where that came from! We're starting a new regime around here! You shit me? That was four nights a week at my house. Scooters. Scooters.

But how about the overreaction of Carmel? Oh my God, Tony! What the fuck are you talking... Oh my God. Lucky he didn't get the belt. Oh my god, Tony! What the fuck are you talking about? Oh my god. Lucky he didn't get the belt. Oh my god, Tony! Oh my god, Tony! Fucking ring his ears.

I bet you three kids in the whole country get hit like that in the last five years. That's a problem with this country. There are a few other communities that treat their kids a little differently, actually. Every time you put on a black,

you got to beat your kids. You got to beat them. You don't got to beat them, but you got to fucking make their ears ring if they get out of line. Am I right, Palumbo? You must know.

Dying from Bensonhurst. I'm sure your old man was a new age into that new age shit. Time out. He used to take the door off my hinges, off the hinges, if I slammed it.

So I grew up half my childhood without a bedroom door. Or when I was 16, he used to put the club on my steering wheel so that I couldn't drive the car, but I could look at it in the driveway. My father used to put the club on my sister's feet. Couldn't leave the fucking house. I mean, that you, situation. Anyways, yeah, that's what this fucking country needs.

Scott in Georgia, what do you want? What, Scotty? Hey, it's a pitless wonder from Georgia. I'm just wondering, I know this is off topic, Nick, man. I'm a huge fan, but I'm wondering why people like Bill Hicks, man. I know this is off topic, Nick. I'm sorry, man. How come people like Bill Hicks are never mentioned, man, when it talks?

They're like, no one knows who the fuck he is. He's never mentioned where? I just, you know, people, they always talk about carlin and you know i feel like towards the end of carlin's career carlin was kind of biting on some of his stuff not biting on it but i don't know i just felt like yeah no well it doesn't help that fucking you know bill died i know you're a big hicks fan i love him but i think you're you're hicks but you're funnier but i i don't know man you yeah no i i you know i, you know, it doesn't— Dude, you want an answer?

You asked me a fucking question. Shut your fucking hole. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You know, it doesn't help that fucking Hicks died when he was 11, number one. But I agree. You know, he's tremendously— And what's funny is he had a liberal slant to him, so you can't use that as an excuse.

That's why I love you. tremendously and what's funny is he had a liberal slant to him so you you can't use that as an excuse and and uh but uh you liked him even though he was totally against your politics yeah no exactly because i have an open mind people on the right do that i'm like the fucking leftist cocksuckers who wouldn't laugh at uh you know yeah david exactly but uh yeah no i i agree he should have been a lot bigger and i think he I think that was just about to happen before, you know, his liver. And one more question. He had a really, I mean, didn't he jump into it when he was 15 or something? Yeah, he was selling out. That's a weird following. He was selling out clubs like when he was 16 or 15 in Houston, I was told.

There's lines around the block. Yeah, he was something else. Did you ever get to work with him, Nick? I did. We painted a house together in Alabama. We painted a nice house and put a roof on it. No, I saw him at the Catch a Rising Star. I came off stage, and I was in love with the guy.

I came off stage. He comes up to me. Oh, really? And he comes up to me, and he goes, dirty tit thing, cute bit. I had a bit about girls. Why do they wash their bras? I've never seen a pair of dirty tits in my life. And he fucking goes, cute, cute bit.

He liked it. He really did like it. And then I saw him one more time at the Improv in L.A. right before he was about to go on. I go, I'm going to go in and watch. He goes, what do you say you don't? Just what I'd say to a young comic, you know?

That's why I like him. He's a kind of a, you know, prick. But they do kind of categorize over him, over Hicks, Kenison, a lot more. Why is... All right, Scott, I've given you your, prick. But they do kind of categorize over him, over Hicks, Kennison a lot more. Why is... All right, Scott, I've given you your five minutes. Sorry.

All right? All right. All right. Take care. The fuck? I have rules here, folks. Everybody's a goddamn commentarist. What?

The hell does that mean? Bloviator. 866-969-1969. The NFL stadiums are empty. A lot of them. Did you see all the pictures on Twitter? That's what progressive activism will bring you. Oh, the cops are too rough.

And it's not just that. You know, they, oh, really? The fucking Cleveland. Who was Cleveland playing? Indianapolis. ah the cops are too rough it's and it's not just that you know they oh really the fucking cleveland who was cleveland playing indianapolis or whoever jacksonville really wasn't packed out it's like what have i been saying on this show for the last fucking two months preaching college football nfl is a watered-down product a lot of this has to do with the kneel-down thing, but not all of it. It is a dog shit. Patriots Atlanta last night. How many flags?

More flags than the fucking front lawn of the United Nations. Must have been 26 flags in the first five. Pat's had like 140 yards on the panel. Just undisciplined, rich mamalooks.

But come on, look at some of the matchups. Jacksonville and the Titans. Do you really care? Do you really care? And then when you throw this on top of it, Roger Goodell. I wonder how long he's going to last. 8-6-6-9-6-9-19-69. But you can't blame it all on the kneel down, take a knee thing.

It is a watered down, and it's been for a long time. It's a marketing machine. You guys love the NFL. They are marketing geniuses. They have you around the neck year round. Right? Soon as the thing, the Super Bowl ends, you know, February 1st, they start teasing the draft. And then you got hot stove, you know, trades.

And they have it down to a science. In July, you can put on NFL Today, and they're talking about matchups and shit. And we fall for it. But it's just a, again, I watch college. I'm sort of boycotting the NFL, not on purpose. I just get, I'm footballed out by it when Saturday's over. Notre Dame, Michigan. Michigan, Penn State. on purpose i just get i'm football out by when saturday's over notre dame michigan um michigan penn state 115 000 people there and there's not a flag every three seconds you know actually some

coaching going on some discipline vicious hitting fast young healthy fellas that'll be in the nfl and they'll be millionaires will be jumping off sides in the next 12 months. But you can't blame it all. You can't blame it all on the protest. But I'm looking at the matchups. I was looking at the pictures on Twitter of the empty and I'm like, oh, I can't blame them. Even if I didn't know about a protest. Who cares about the Browns and whoever?

Ooh, Detroit at Carolina. Let me bite my knuckles to the quick. Ugh. I almost had trouble getting excited for the Pats game last night. So. Let's go to Daryl in Seattle. Daryl. Hey.

What I do now. How you doing, Nick? What's up? Huh? What's up?'s up Hey so I'm rolling down the road And I'm listening to your show I love this station It's my first time hearing you

And I'm listening to a caller The caller you just were on the line with Yeah You know you're politic I'm open minded Not like those left-wing... Yes. Yeah, cocksuckers.

Yeah. Cocksuckers. Yeah, cocksuckers. And I'm like, what the fuck? And I'm thinking to myself, I say what the fuck to myself. I'm like, what? This is a guy that's trying to get followers? My girl sitting next to me goes, that's a good way to lose followers.

And I'm like, for real? Yeah. You've got to call him and tell him that. Yeah. Nobody fucking cares about, like, your political views when you're trying to hear some funny shit. Yeah. Well, that's what makes you, yeah. Don't you think?

No, I think it's stupid. People love this show. It's very popular. I've only been on the air for five months, and they love it just for that reason. I'm not going to sit here to pretend to like you or your politics. And I don't live in a world where you... Hey, let me finish, Daryl. I don't live in a world where I go, ooh, I don't want to piss off people.

I won't get followers. I don't live in the Facebook, Twitter fucking universe like you do. I do what I do. People either like it or they don't. That's all. But, you know, I do. I do what I do. People either like it or they don't. That's all. But, you know, I don't expect everybody to like it. But people like that about the show, actually. We say here this show, Unpopular Speech, is very popular on the show.

Yeah, got it. But you know what? Yeah, yeah, got it. I'm not Republican or Democrat.'m not you know i'm not republican or democrat yeah i know nobody is republicans because they get on my nerves lately yeah yeah you are you just said it on your show but i don't refer to uh republicans as those cocksuckers yeah no i know you don't but everybody else does you asshole Get off my fucking phone. Fuck off.

Go have a cup of coffee, fucking Seattle. You hear the fucking mentality? Oh, you might not. People might not follow you. You're so immersed in your fucking fake social media world. I don't give a fuck. Especially about fucking a leftist from Seattle. Ooh, my girlfriend told you to call. They show some balls, huh?

Ooh. I might not get any likes on Facebook. And therein lies the problem. You don't point out the fact that I said i like bill hicks's comedy a guy whose politics a completely opposite mind you you glossed over that point but i called the leftist cocksuckers that hit a fucking nerve with you so we know how you voted bernie sanders i'm guessing has anybody called in how many times we heard this i'm not republican or democrat yeah i can see the whole the whole world's right down the middle this country's we're pretty much

reaching over the aisle everybody nobody admits to being left or right i don't i don't identify with any party just like people don't identify i'm not a boy today. I'm a girl. Nobody identifies with anything because it takes some balls. I'm a straight white male and fucking proud of it. But you might not get likes if you say that.

Bye bye dickhead love seattle as a city hate the fucking politics it's like san francisco's little sister Yeah, so the NFL, unbelievable. You know how hard it is to take something as popular as the NFL and make it unpopular? Goodell, he's fucking it up. And you blew it!

You fucking up, Goodell. he's fucking it up. And you blew it! You fucking up, Goodell. You blew it. 866-969-1969. If you're fed up with the NFL, maybe people are actually boycotting it. But I'm just, I've been burnt out on it a long time ago. Right after the Montana days. I was tired back then.

Something about dumping it off to the flat that doesn't excite me. Throw that ball downfield. How many penalties last night? Pat's Atlanta. Oh, my God. And by the way, my buddy made this comment years ago, and I think he's right on the money. Soon as they gave the referees those microphones they love and by the way who stole my line last night l michaels because i said it on nick and arty i said it years ago that these refs are on tv so much they get their sad

cards you know he made a he made an after pension joke okay we could have had the same thought, but let's be honest. Al Michaels, I'm not saying it was the best joke. Let's go to Jerry in Virginia, a state with some balls. Virginia is for lovers. Jerry, your thoughts? Yeah, I think that's the biggest problem. Nobody can stand up for what they believe in.

Yeah. Have the balls to say it well you can yeah i'm a republican yeah and the nfl sucks anymore i don't know it just amazed me if somebody could call you in and say you're gonna hurt someone's feelings that that just blows my mind yeah well he didn't exactly say that but they live in a world uh you know probably probably obviously younger than me, that guy and his girlfriend, but his girlfriend said to him, he's not going to get likes. He's not going to get followers doing that. Really? Yeah, fucking

Howard Stern, really. And that's not what I'm doing, but there were more people. When it comes to radio, when people don't like you, it's just as valuable as when they like you, which gives you free reign to be yourself but i'm not going to sit here and there's a lot of equivocating going here's the other thing that

bugs me about today's political world both sides do it they always throw that in no right now one side is really wrong one side is shitting shitting on free speech and you know. I just call him as I see him, Jerry. You know what I'm saying? You're doing fine. I enjoy your show. Thank you. Thank you, Jerry. 866-969-1969 is the phone number.

There was nobody at the... Who was... Cleveland and who yesterday? The Titans and who? Jacksonville and who? Those are the three games. It doesn't matter who they're playing. I won't tune in, except if it's the Pats.

But we can't blame this all on the protest. Yeah, Tennessee. Titans and Browns? 12-9. 12-9. What is this, the Giants and Eagles in 1955? I heard Chuck Bednarik returned to interception. Browns? 12-9. 12-9. What is this, the Giants and Eagles in 1955? I heard Chuck Bednarik returned to interception for this.

Browns 0-7. Browns 0-7. Cleveland, and you know what? Cleveland's turned into a pretty good sports town with the Indians and the Cavaliers. I mean, but it's a football town. It always has been. Somebody helped them out. Was it Art Modell that left?

Yeah. Somebody has to help Cleveland out football-wise. They are a great, great football town. I mean, it's a dodgy situation. Somebody help them out. For the love of Pete. Bill in Arkansas. What's going on, Billy Boy?

Hey, Nick. I was just wondering if you caught Bob Kelly's little show yesterday afternoon. I did not. I did not. It was okay. It was awesome when they started pulling calls from Craig Ferguson's show. You need to check it out. They were stealing calls? Yeah, apparently.

Bob mentioned it on your show last week when they were taping that thing. Yeah. The Craig Ferguson show was live, and they pulled two calls, and the guy with the mic, I can't remember his last name, he was trying to make a Scottish accent

and beat Craig Ferguson. It's pretty hilarious. All right. I am going to check it out because Bobby Kelly always listens to this show on a regular basis. The only reason I don't listen to other shows is I don't know how to work any of the apps

or the on-demand or any of that shit. I hear you. All right, Billy. Hey, take good care of Christina. There's about three million of us truck drivers out here that really love that lady. Yeah, she's great of Christina. There's about three million of us truck drivers out here that really love that lady. Yeah, she's great. Yeah.

All right, I'll pass that on. All right, bye. I'll tell you, nothing turns around like an 18-wheeler. A guy parked behind an Arby's for 12 hours in his cab doing dirty stuff. cab doing dirty stuff. Joe in Las Vegas has an opinion on why the NFL stinks. Joe, what is that? Jack.

I mean, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. No problem, Nick. No problem. You know, the NFL, it's sunk for a long time. You can't hit anybody anymore. You can't dance in the end zone anymore. You can't dance after you sack somebody. You can't show any personality. There's flags every two minutes. Plus, if you go to a game, it's nonstop interruption.

Can I stop you there, Joe? But now you're sounding like a little bit shallow. That's why you watch NFL to watch people dance in the end zone? No, no, no. I'm just saying they take the personality out of the game. Yeah, but they – The actual game itself. But they – Let me finish my thought, Nick, and I think – All right, go ahead. Sorry. Yeah.

They take the personality out of the game. I'm sorry. It is your show. They take the personality out of the game because every offense is the same. Everyone runs the same stuff. Everyone plays for field goals. Nobody has any balls. You know, back in the day, football used to be football.

Jack, you got to tell me that Patriots run the same offense as the Cleveland Browns. They have better personnel. They don't run the same offense. If you're telling me that in the NFL that they don't play for field goals to win, do you have to tell me that these teams have balls? I don't know what you mean by balls. The Patriots have balls, yeah. They go on fourth down. They'll go for it field goals to win. You're telling me that these teams have balls? I don't know what you mean by balls. The Patriots have balls, yeah. They go on fourth down.

They'll go for it on their own 26. But you're right. No, mostly you're right. It's a beige league, Jack. But you know what it started? When Pete Rozelle was the commissioner and they implemented that, you know, the team that comes in last gets the first-round pick, so they redistributed the – they started to call it back.

It was in Sports Illustrated like 30 years ago. Somebody called it the socialist football because they distribute the talent equally. So now you have a bunch of interchangeable teams, right? Other than the Pats and the Cowboys and a few of the Steelers maybe. But, yeah, no, you're right. They're very beige. I watch the college football just like you love college football. You can't stand the NFL anymore.

Don't watch it. But what I am starting to watch now in the West Coast, never watched it before, is hockey. That a boy. The game moves fast. Of course. And if you don't like the way someone's treated you, you drop the club and you fight. Jack, I'm from Boston, brother. You're fucking preaching to the choir.

I grew up during the Boston Bruins heyday, the big bad Bruins. Me and my brother would take the train in to see the Bruins and the Flyers. Before the puck would drop, they would drop their gloves. Everybody would square up before the opening faceoff. It was like the movie Slapshot. Nick, I'm 41 years old, lived on the West Coast all my life. We just got an NHL team out here in Vegas. I went to my first hockey game last week, and I couldn't believe that I've been missing this all my life. We just got an NHL team out here in Vegas. I went to my first hockey game last week, and I

couldn't believe that I've been missing this all my life. It was unbelievable. It is good. Wait until playoff time, Jack. And the Golden Knights, they're doing very well, the expansion team. They're like 6-1. Yes, they are. They beat the Bruins. If you guys ever want to come out and watch

a game, it is a phenomenal atmosphere. It's a lot of fun. Like I said, I don't know what I've been missing all my life, but the NFL can go suck a dick. I'm a hockey fan now. All right, Jack. Thanks for the call. I love it.

Jack is on that bandwagon. Wait till the Golden Knights go 2-14 next month. No, he's right. Nothing, let me tell you, as far as the spectators, especially come playoff time. Playoff hockey, and do it. I'm a football guy,

but playoff hockey, they'll go, I'm not shitting, they go nine minutes without a whistle. That's the difference. Okay, nine minutes without a whistle, and in that nine minutes, you'll see some of the most vicious physical play, and I don't know what more, you know, they take it serious.

Bunch of poor white guys with no teeth. They're dead serious about this. Let's take one more before the break. Oh, we had a woman on here. Did she drop out? No, Jackie. Jackie in Chicago. Jackie.

Hey, Nick. What's up, Jack? Jackie in Chicago. Jackie. Hey, Nick. What's up, Jack? I just wanted to call in and let you know I'm a woman and a Democrat. I'm from Chicago, and I fucking love your show.

There you go. You're an old school. You know, you say it like you mean it, and I love it. I appreciate it, Jackie. I tell you, Chicago's one of the best comedy towns there is. And you go there, and they, Chicago's a big city, but a small town attitude. And they come out to laugh, and they don't judge you and stuff. And let me ask you a question.

Why are you still a Democrat? That's a great question. You know, I've always been a Democrat. Well, that's like saying I've always had syphilis and I'm going to keep it. It's how I identify at this point. I don't know. Trump's not changing my mind. I've got to be honest.

Yeah, well. I don't know. But look, you're a female and you're a Democrat and you like the show. That's called open-mindedness. When I said that earlier, when the guy from Seattle got pissed, I was talking about comedy-wise, people from the left will not laugh at a guy if they know he leans right in his belly. They'll sit on their hands. How do I know that?

Because I used to play the comedy cell every night for 20 years. And, you know, those NYU students. And for the most part, I years. And, you know, those NYU students. And for the most part, I'd have to, you know, twist their arms. But then they knew what was coming. Jackie, thanks for the call. I've got to go to break. Glad to have you aboard. When I come back, what was in the news?

Oh, I don't know. Hey, did you like our show Friday from a remote location? I missed you. Up in Westchester. You missed me, huh? Oh, yeah. Yeah, well, I'll tell you what. Give me a Metro North train pass for free, and maybe I'll think about coming in here.

But let me tell you, I walked down 14 steps to my office and did a radio show. Jesus, did it feel good. It was like a thumb in the ass. When I come back, we're going to talk about men taking, men taking classes to unlearn toxic masculinity. Yeah. There's classes so fellas can unlearn being fellas.

You didn't think the Weinstein thing was going to be, like I said, relegated to just Hollywood, did you? Go on social media. Everything's hashtag me too. I drive an ice cream truck and a guy looked at me wrong. I'm a politician. Hashtag too.

Yeah, I'm getting the idea that guys were trying to fuck women all over the place for a long time. But they have a class that teach men not to be men and that masculinity is toxic. 866-969-1969. That's what we'll be talking about when we get back.

You're listening to The Nick DiPaolo Show on Faction Talk Sirius XM 103. Schoolhouse outhouse Only U.S. 19 Headed people keep the city clean They call it Nutbush Ah, Nutbush Nutbush City Nutbush City living The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now.

I'm not allowed in For the town on South Sorry, I was coughing again. The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. Sorry, I was coughing again. My wife's home. What are you coughing into? Welcome back. That was Not Bush City Limits. That's Andy Fiori getting funny with the transgender talk. Comes back with Not Bush City Limits, folks.

You get it? I like to cross some limits sometimes. I got a few drinks with me. I had a great one last week nobody picked on, except you. It was traffic. Yeah. Came back.

You were the only one. Hey, Mr. Fent. Talking about traffic. I know. We were talking about traffic. Play us a tune. Something that makes us... I love that song. Makes us all happy.

Ba-ba-ba-da, but make it snappy. I'm fucking... I'm going to write you a song in three seconds no patience i mean relax god damn it cigarettes okay let's uh final segment of the evening here on a monday you gotta get that monday by you don't you gotta really tomorrow we got wayne newton's taylor in here and and Henry Winkler's manicurist. It'll be a funny show. Did you see the Burger King thing?

They try to do some experiment to talk about bullying, which, by the way, is so overblown as a phenomenon. Can I just say this? Discussed it on Tough Crowd, and we all agreed, most of us on the panel. At one point, we've all been bullied, and we bullied somebody.

Okay? That's about 98% of the population I'd say that's true of. Can we cut the shit? Every time somebody disagrees with somebody now, it's considered bullying. The president is considered a bully

because he tweets and tells people to shut up that are telling him to shut up i hit my cough button and probably still picks up on your mic right a little bit i have a lung clam the size of a pancake stuck on my larynx anyways the idea was to create a video showing reactions of customers to being given a smashed up hamburger and compare it to what happens when they witness an innocent teen being bullied in the restaurant it's the dumbest thing i've ever heard of that's a this is how you're going to expose bullying first of all this is america? You could smash up somebody's burger and then show a baby being backed over by a dump truck.

No one's going to get upset about the baby. This is America with fat fucks. Give me my burger. Yeah, but we just ran over a kid's head with a dump truck. I didn't see it. Is there cheese on that? What a stupid idea. And I don't like when

adults use the term bullying again. Now it's, you know, Pelosi. Oh, the Republicans are bullying us. Other Republicans. Oh, the president's being a bull. Will you stop? Grow the fuck up. this is part of the, I see, I seen grown men, I'm talking in their 40s wearing backpacks, it makes, book bags on their back, it makes me crazy,

it makes me want to take a skull, saw a guy with a business suit on and a beard, had to be 50s, got a book bag back, like he's a second grader getting on the bus, oh my God,

that makes me cuckoo, I carry a duffel bag like a couple cycles about to shoot up a cafeteria. I'm 55. I know that doesn't look... But you know, at one point they were popular.

Anyways, back to Burger King and this stupid experiment. Let's compare crushing up people's burgers to... Anyways. So they compare... Yeah, smushing up somebody's burger. Anytime you see the word smushed, by the way, in an experiment, you know it's a good experiment.

Smushed, you fucking assholes. Burger King says the custom is the real, but the bullies and the victim were betrayed by actors. Oh, I thought you might have really beat up a couple kids today. We got a couple abused housewives and their husbands Burger King says it wants its position to be clear the Burger King brand is known for putting the crown on everyone's head that would be bullying wouldn't it my dad used to crown me I was fucking bully and allowing people to have it their way

bullying is the exact opposite of that, the company said. You know what they did? This is evil marketing, too, by the way. Bullying is, you know, it's always trending. It's the fucking word of the day, and they're jumping on it. So we talk about Burger King. They attached it to the bullying, and now we're talking about Burger King. That's how I see it.

Or am I overly cynical? And I usually don't take the anti-corporate position that often. What position is that? Bent over the counter. 866-969-1969. I want to have some people who were bullied and who bullied people. Isn't that most of us? So anyways, the Burger, they do this, right?

In the Burger King video, the chain says 95% of the real-life customers reported that their burgers had been destroyed, while only 12% spoke up when the teen was bullied. And I say that's exactly the numbers I would have expected in America. Right? Wouldn't you say so? What a silly... And again, I think I'm right. We're talking about Burger King.

It really isn't about bullying. It's a cynical move. Actually, a genius move. This guy should be handling my marketing. By the way, that hemorrhoid, it's about the size of a marble now. I've never been to a proctologist. I was looking them up online.

I'm going in there, and if they look at me and say something about fiber, I'm going to go, get a Bic lighter, burn this fucking thing off right now. I could actually make a jack-o'-lantern out of this thing. It's that time of the year, isn't it? You could put decals on this thing. It's getting so big. It's like somebody blowing a bubble. Really hurts.

And when I work on it, I aggravate it. Back to the bullying. 866-969-1969 if you're for bullying like myself. You can't have it both ways. You can't be going, bunch of snowflakes, millennial pussies. I think a little bullying teaches how to grow up.

I told you, I picked on a kid and he popped me in the eye. And you should send me a thank you note. Made him a man. Let's go to Rich in Georgia. Rich. Rich. Hey, how you doing? Good.

You ever been, talk about the bully burger. Oh, yeah. I got bullied a lot. I was a white kid in a black junior high. I got bullied a lot. Oh, we don't count that. They don't count that when it's black and white. That's not bullying.

That's just payback. Hey, i'll tell you what though we had this one guy he had Tourette's and uh his Tourette's he just out of the blue he'd go yeah like that right there yeah and uh so we just constantly made fun of him by doing that but then all of a sudden, he decided to own it, so his nickname became Yank Yank, but he would, we just constantly, every walk by, we'd go, Yank Yank, ooh, right there, right there, and hell, I think he's rich now. He owns three car washes. Do you take credit for that? I actually bought a car there. You beep the horn, it goes,

hoo, hoo, hoo! Hey, Nick, I don't want to... You got two for tomorrow, so you got to look at that old Todd fellow on NBC yesterday. He did a thing on Face the Nation. I mean, I don't know, whatever it is. Meet the Press, yeah.

And Elizabeth Warren, Claire McCaskill, the woman from North Dakota, and a woman from Hawaii all said that they were sexually harassed as women. And I was thinking maybe they mistook it, somebody saying, a guy saying hey to him, it's sexual harassment. Yeah.

Good God almighty. It was, okay, Elizabeth Roran, so we know that one's a lie. Claire McCaskill. Claire McCaskill, another piece of ass. Oh, my God. Who else? That Democratic senator lady from North Dakota. Okay.

And then another one from Hawaii. All of them are real lookers, I'm telling you. No, wait a minute. The one from Hawaii is actually a pretty good looker. The military girl? No, no, no, no. No, not her. No.

It's definitely not her. Yeah. I know. Like I said earlier, thank you for the call, Rich. No, you're going to hear it from everybody. And I believe them. Okay? But you know what we're doing?

We're taking today's norms, like we do with slavery, and they're going to go back to 1968 when a guy said, Hey, Betty, nice track. And you could get away with it. Well, now that is a hashtag me too thing. I said that to Palambo and she laughs. And Brooklyn, she's been harassed on the street many times. But they're doing the same thing, right?

We're taking the norms, these PC norms today. Fellas, I don't know what to tell you out there. I would not want to be, it's got to be tough sledding. But deep down, the girls have had enough of it, too. Not the actresses and shit, but again, some of them, you know, Harvey definitely went over the line, but some of them made bad choices on their own. That Harvey really enjoyed a rubdown, didn't he?

Jesus Christ, a lot of tension on those shoulders. A lot of pressure running a film studio, apparently. But back to the bullying. We're talking about bullying, and I've been bullied. I got bullied, and this is me trying to, I got bullied. I tried to join the Cub Scouts. I asked them to let me in, but they drank heavily all weekend and beat me pretty severely.

Boy, did we try to wedge that one in. Oh God. Let's go to, what is it, Emil in Canada? Emil. Huh? Emil. Hey, how's it going? What's up? Not too much.

Listen, I used to have the hemorrhoid problem all the time. One of my buddies' dad, an old man, told me, if you want to get rid of them, you grab a bottle of rubbing alcohol, get in the shower, and just rub, freaking pour the whole bottle on there. You'll never have a problem again. Got rid of my hemorrhoids

and never got them again, man. Wait a minute. They were gone what, the next day, or? It shrinks it right away because that's what rubbing alcohol does. It's like, it's topical to shrink muscles, and that's basically what it is. It's going to hurt like a motherfucker, but just dump it on there, and I'm telling you, dude, I never had a problem again. I used to get them all the time.

No kidding. And if I do get something, like, coming up, I'll take some, put it on a little piece of toilet paper, rub an alcohol, and just hold it on there for a while, and then I'll shrink it. Really? Oh, you know, somebody told me I had the wrong alcohol. I was using Crown Royal. Well, that'll work. That'll take the pain away, too, buddy.

I love the show, by the way. I'm not a Canadian little white guy driving a truck. I don't care about politics, but I love your show, man. I love it when you tell people to keep it. It's awesome. Thanks, ML. I love it when you tell people to keep it. It's awesome. Thanks, ML. We love Canada. Keep listening.

Have a good night, man. All right. Somebody get me a bottle of alcohol, please. Picture me now in the shower tomorrow. Huh? Rub an alcohol. I just want to burn the thing off like a tick. What a show, folks, huh?

We combine politics, cultural events, with homemade remedies for health problems. But I'll tell you, this thing's so big, it's like sitting on a wallet, a giant wallet. I'm sitting, it's actually tipping me over to the left. Unbelievable. Anyways, I'd like to hear from somebody who's been bullied recently and I think he had a comment here. By the way, you know who does most

of the bullying in the schools? It ain't Whitey. I'm talking the city schools. And it really gets ignored. But you read it every day Huh? What happened, Andy?

Pinch my finger Pinch your finger, huh? That's terrific That's smarts I don't know I'm petering out nicely Jesus H. Christ. Nothing?

Everybody's talking about bullying from Melania Trump to the fucking people at Burger King. To my priest. To girls that work for O'Reilly. I light up the phones here. Nobody's got an opinion. They all have an ice pack on their lip. I like to call in. Smack me.

You know, I'll tell you where bullying's a big problem. That's the state of Vermont, where Nate's calling from. Nate, what's up? Hey, you know, bullying's a very serious situation. Apparently, that's all we talk about, Nate. I'm telling you. Your senator from Vermont, he was kind of a bully that fucking Bernie Sanders. Oh, Bernie. Yeah, no, he's not my senator. No, no, no of a bully that fucking Bernie Sanders. Oh, Bernie.

Yeah, no, he's not my senator. No, no, no, no. I don't know. All right. All right. Hey, yeah, no, I just wanted to kind of lay in. I mean, I'm surprised you took a Vermont call, honestly. Are you kidding me?

I love Vermont. I love Vermont. Oh, yeah, it's gorgeous up here. I was bullied in Vermont. I tried to steal somebody's maple syrup, and they beat me pretty severely. Go ahead. I just wanted to weigh in. Yeah, I'm in college now.

I just graduated high school last year, and I had plenty of bullies in high school. This one kid who was much, much smaller than me, it didn't matter. He was a wicked prick to me. I was terrified to go to school. Really? Yeah, and he just uh january of a drug overdose so fuck him wait a minute now nate doesn't matter no shit this uh let me ask you a question like i bet you you're a good student oh no i'm, I'm a terrible student. Terrible student? Yeah.

Are you giving yourself a little bit nerdy, or are you like... Well, you know, I was kind of like, I was kind of trying to be the chubby, funny, fat kid. I wasn't. Oh. I was more chubby than I was funny. And this kid was smaller than you? Oh, yeah, way, way smaller than me. One time I tried to stand up to him and everybody thought that i was bullying him so i you know and everybody just went ahead and turned on me and i was like

all right fuck this so but again you know i did you know it bothered me then and now it's like i don't i don't give a shit you know and even and it even made me stronger because now i know you know what the fuck do i care what everybody thinks about me? No, but the point is, you got over it and you moved on, which we can't seem to do, you know, whether it's Judd Apatow or whoever makes these movies. Oh, holy shit, Judd Apatow. It's been going on since the 80s, though. Every bully in every movie in the 80s always had the what the letter jacket the captain of the football it's still going on i and i and i understand there's truth to it i understand there's truth to it because uh but i mean for christ's sake at what point do you let it fucking

go nate right you let it go well you know a lot of these kids killing themselves and shit like that i guess it gets a little important but i don know. Girls are meaner to each other than guys ever were to me, so. Girls were meaner to you? No, to each other. Oh, to each other. Yeah, but that's fine. I like to watch it. Oh, sure.

Yeah, who doesn't? All right, Nick, thanks a lot for taking my call. I know I kind of rambled a little bit. No, you didn't, man. That was a good story, and I'm glad that bully's dead, that fucking heroin. Yeah, me too. Fuck him. Yeah, fuck him.

Exactly. Take care. All right, take it easy. I wish I had his name. I'd throw it out there right now. Die of an oaf. New England is infested, huh? New Hampshire with heroin.

Nothing to do. Huh? Nothing to do. There's plenty to do in New Hampshire, man. Like what? Like what? What do you do in New Jersey? Sit in traffic?

The leaves? Fucking please. It's beautiful. What do you mean? Skiing? Fucking lakes? It's a beautiful place to live. Yeah, I've got all that.

You got all that in Jersey? Yeah. Sure you do. Those lakes are filled with fucking toxic waste. Toxic masculinity. Here you go. Oh, my hemorrhoid cracked. That was so funny.

I think I just drew blood. Where are the calls tonight? Fucking Monday. Working like Springsteen. I told you, John Dresser cracked me in the head at the mall with a pay phone.

The big kid, he had mutton chops. He's the guy in the metal shop. He was making a project. I reversed him a lathe. What's a lathe? And Nathan said, what's a lathe? You big scary bully.

He's a big angry guy. Fucking love that guy. I wonder if he was at the show in Westport. I don't know. Let's go to Josh, North Carolina.

He says, not on social media, but cyberbullying is the big problem. There is definitely, yeah, especially the poor little girls they get ganged up on. Go ahead, Josh. Oh, no, no, no, Nick. I don't know if it's a problem or not, but it's just typical of, like, the media today. That's what's being reported. It's a cyber-budget bully. I've seen so many goddamn things on 11-year-olds, 12-year-olds hurt themselves

because their classmates just spread just terrible shit about them on the computer. I'm not on the computer to do all that shit very much, Yeah. Computer. Yeah. I'm not, you know, I'm not on the computer to do all that shit very much, but God damn. I mean, people are going to have the nuts to talk face-to-face, talk shit to each other face-to-face anymore. Well, I used to do, I had a bit, Mac, that people, you know, about cyberbullying, and I'd rather say, you know, I'd rather be cyberbullied than bully in person. I'd rather have somebody write something mean on my wall than put me through a fucking wall.

Right. And I used to get a tremendous response from the audience. When I was in elementary school, let me just quick, a guy moved from Korea, and he did not speak English but just a very little bit. And I befriended him and helped him. And every time, like when we were outside on recess, there were these two guys that would always fuck with him if he was by himself. I mean, and he knew he, he probably didn't understand words, what they were saying, before he knew that they were being awfully mean to him right so one day i got so pissed off i knocked both of their teeth down their throat and

i got in all the trouble for him well you know what you did you did the right thing josh i know i did and i you know and i'll do it again tomorrow all right the shit on the computer i mean i guess that's just a sign of the times of how fragile people's feelings are. Well, no, and some of it's legit. I mean, thank you for the call, Josh. I've got to go. I'm coming to the end of the show. But, yeah, you know, like 12-year-old girl, 13-year-old girl.

I mean, you know what I mean? That's brutal. But, you know, you kind of always, when I hear those stories, I go, okay, where are the parents and shit? And you're not noticing how upset your daughter is. I know they, is she hiding up in a room on the computer all the time? There's a lot of that that goes into it, too. You know what I mean? You got to be in touch with your kids.

Not to blame the parents. It's hard. I understand that. But, you know. I had another bully story right in my head, and it just went away. God damn it, what was it? Oh, I'll tell you what. Because somebody put up the Christmas story, I guess the movie.

That's why. Right. Because a better example of that is Napoleon Dynamite. One of my favorite comedies of all, Napoleon Dynamite. I don't love it. You don't love it? No. I fucking absolutely love it. You don't love it? No.

Fucking absolutely adore it. Come on. The pain in that fucking kid. The angst in his eyes. Doesn't make you laugh. I guess you have to be a bully to enjoy that show. Oh, my God. I love that movie. Anyways.

That is it, folks, for a Monday. Thank you to all the callers tonight. And we will be back here again uh tomorrow night the same time i hope the replay thing gets straightened out i'm sure it will and uh palumbo thanks fiori thanks talk to you kids tomorrow take care of yourselves Outro Music