The Nick DiPaolo Show - 213 - State of the NFL

Episode Date: December 19, 2017

State of the NFL

And now, The Nick DiPaolo Show. Oh, yeah. Yeah, baby, how are you? It's that time again, it's Monday. Jesus H. Christ, huh? Happy holidays to you. Short week, Fiore. Oh, yeah. How you doing, folks? Real quickly, let me take your business up front here. Thank you to our friend Sherry Petrino, also known as Bunny Galore, for the contribution to the Nick DiPaolo podcast. She's a regular caller on the radio show.

She's been following me on the podcast forever. Thank you, Bunny. If you want to subscribe, you go to connectpal.com slash Nick. Connectpal.com slash Nick. $3.99 a month, five shows a week. One of those is for free. So thank you, Bunny, so much. Thank you, Chuck from Boston.

I just got a gift from him. These gold-plated playing cards. They're beautiful. I should have taken a picture and put them on social media so my fans could see. They're really nice. I don't know what they're doing. It's like if you're going to play Texas Hold'em with Liberace. Fucking.

Look, I guess they're gold something. You know how the Notre Dame helmets have gold in them and the paint supposedly? Yes, that's true. Flicks of gold. So I'm guessing they're very nice. They're very nice, Chuck. Thank you very much. Chuck's a regular caller.

Boston fella. And I appreciate that very much. Also, let me get this out of the way, right at the top. Hot Comedy Club, where I was going to do New Year's Eve, we know that got canceled, okay? But people are attacking them online because I mentioned that they canceled at the last minute, which they sort of did, but it wasn't really their fault. I talked to him. He called me this week and going, hey, I'm getting tortured by people online.

What did you say? I go, I don't think I said anything. I mentioned the gig got canceled. I didn't mention money or anything. Or even if I did, it was in a rant. But the bottom line is these guys have been good to me. Okay? And I talked to him, and there really was an issue with the permits.

Okay? They're paying me half of what they were going to pay me for New Year's Eve because they backed out at the last second. And I've never had a problem with them. They're all club, so they're doing the right thing here too. So this goes out to comedians who are thinking about playing this because there were issues when they first started too. But I know these people now, and they're legit,

and I've never had a problem with them. They're like a family-run business. And yeah, they did the right thing for New Year's. So I just want to clear that up. So don't be attacking people. You don't know all the facts, especially if I misled you on the facts, but I don't think I did.

I just, you know, I was disappointed that I had a gig and then I didn't. So, so, you know. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. I can't help it. That's my new favorite. 866-969-1969 is the phone number.

Can you explain to me why this jack here, I have to turn it up to 19 to hear myself, and on this one it's 2. Any, who put this together? Who's the fucking retarded team of mongoloids? Huh? I think that one might be personalized for Ron because, you know, he doesn't wear headsets. That makes no sense.

I would think this one would be that way, no? Well, that one's louder with less of a turn. I see. I see what you're saying. I do. I understand. So, thank you. Did I cover all the business?

Check out Instagram or the show Twitter account. I gave Andy his present today. Yes, thank you. It was a donation. I made a donation to the, you know what, to Shriners. Shriners Hospital. Our favorite kid there, Alec. The kid who I, and we're not

making fun of him, like I said. I just, you know, he reminds me of Jay Leno every time I see him. That's all. And I think we're making him famous on radio. But I'll just give you a little hint that Andy's Christmas present has something to do with that. Luckily they know how to separate radio personalities at birth that are joined at the neck give you a little hint that andy's christmas present has something to do with that luckily

they know how to separate uh radio personalities at birth that are joined at the neck at the shrine center check out the the tweet what is it nick dipalo show yes or is that dipalo show sxm dipalo show sxm i'll put it up on my twitter when I have time. I was rushed. I was shopping. I had to get my wife some tobacco. I'll get to the Patriots Steelers. I'll get to the Carolina Panthers owner. Apparently this hashtag me too is going to turn into fucking let's attack all white rich people have been successful. Basically.

Got an article that fried my fucking eggs, burnt them to a crisp about people on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, I'm sure West Side too, turning their one and two-year-olds into activists, literally bringing them to rallies and shit and teaching them about appropriation. You people are sick. I hope you all die in your sleep.

Anyways, back to the show. 866-969-1969. Real quickly, another detail. Are these my glasses, or did you find them on the floor of a porno studio? Jesus Christ, they're just covered in all kinds of stuff. The titty bar in Lodi, which was satin dolls, which is the titty bar that the Sopranos used for the bada bing. Yes. Served their last drink last night.

Closed today, officially. And that made me sound sad. Never went in there. But I'm just saying as a Sopranos fan, I hear butter bing We didn't even check The sound drops dude So prepare to be Fucking blasted Out of your seats But uh

Do you remember this This is a One of the episodes That opens with the girls Dancing and it's the kinks Living on a thin line Or whatever And buggin

All the stories Have been told Of kings and days of old But there's no England now I hear this every time somebody mentions the thing. Chicks shaking their tits and asses as the show opens. It couldn't have been more hip. There's no England now.

Yeah, and here comes another song. Let's no England. Yeah, and here comes another song. Let me check this. The sound on this. I don't want to fucking blow your ears out. I'll write it quick. There's nine different, again, nine different sources. The one I pulled up from my iPad, your thing. I don't know how the fuck I went.

It's a dangerous situation. But, you know, this was the titty bar. And I suppose I'll give you background. Satin Dolls, again, it was shutted by, you know what, the New Jersey attorney, Krista Perino, and the Division of Alcohol Beverage Control moved against the club. Also, AJ's Gentleman Club, which has the same owners, is shut.

Both clubs have to sell or transfer their liquor license by January 3rd. Anthony Cardinale, a convicted racketeer from Saddle River, gotta love New Jersey, is barred from having a liquor license. I should have grown up there. Everybody thinks I'm from there when I leave Northeast and I go to Ohio and out. But authorities alleged he continued to run the clubs despite that. They also alleged that a large amount of cash was flowing in and out of the business. Was not accounted for.

Oh, come on. You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that? Other members of the Cardinale family tried to retain ownership of the license and continue to operate the business. On November 20th, the division's director, David Reibel, signed the order barring the Cardinali's involvement with the club. Illegal activity. This was glorified at the Butter Bing in the fictional world of Tony Soprano,

but it has no place in modern-day New Jersey. It's time to shut it down. Oh, come on, you're being a party pooper. In May 2017, the division charged the club with prostitution and lewd activity. Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. A 2011 consent order for Cardinale's company, Root 17 Entertainment, said Lucene Cardinale was listed as the owner, had to turn over the licenses to her daughter, Lauren. The Cardinales also had to pay $1.25 million in penalties. The Cardinales, quite simply, have not played by the rules.

Really? The Cardinales who own a titty bar off Route 17 in Lodi and not playing by the fucking rules? I think they were. Just for the fact that they contribute so much to the sopranos they should get a break how about that they provided so much enjoyment and entertainment uh they've had many opportunities to correct their behavior it's time to get them out of the alcohol business ones of raw yeah they're gonna open an orange julia sir soft pretzel 1995 anthony carnelli pleaded guilty to federal income tax

evasion for not reporting cash payments from Gentleman's Club, which he had undisclosed interest. 2013, he was indicted by the feds for involvement in a waste disposal company controlled by the Genovese family. Fuck him, baby. He pleaded guilty in 2013, 2013 December of to racketeering conspiracy

and conspiracy to commit extradition okay so he's not a boy scout but he provided a lot of titty on route 17 he spent 30 days in jail was ordered by pay a fine and restitution anyways but one of the most controversial scenes in in the sopranos again because it involved

a woman being a victim but it was ralphie sifaretto played by unbelievably by joey pantaleone who's and it was very controversial he beats his fucking stripper girlfriend who's pregnant and 20 years old to death in the parking lots her head against the guardrail for about five minutes, like he's ringing the dinner bell. And apparently this ruffle the feathers of some of them feminists out there. You can look at that two ways, you know? I look at it going, you know, good, it's exposing what scumbags these guys really are, and how fucking cold and ruthless, you know?

So why wouldn't you take it like that? That's what the spirit of the scene was meant to. It's not going, hey, look, this girl's a fucking loser. But of course, somebody gets their blomas in a bunch. This is Ralphie. Hey, here it is. Here's what starts the fight. He's out in the parking lot with his 20-year-old pregnant stripper girlfriend.

Pretending he's going to marry her and buy a house and shit. Listen to this weasel. It's a boy. We'll name him after me. It's a girl. We'll name her Tracy after you. This way she can grow up to be a cocksucking slob just like her mother. Are you out of your fucking mind? Hashtag me too.

Get him, motherfucking piece of shit! That's right. That's right. Get it all out. Get it all out, you little ho- Okay. Okay, you people out there in- That's sexual harassment.

Not somebody yanking their penis out and cornering you in a fucking breakfast nook. I'm kidding, obviously, but I'm just saying. Hashtag me too on that one, huh? He promises he's going to have a kid with her and shit. What a fucking... And the funniest part is after he beats her silly, Tony comes out. He gets into it, Tony. Tony punches him in the face, throws him against a fence. And then Ralph leaves and Paulie goes to Tony. He was way out a fence. And then Ralph leaves. And Paulie goes to Tony. He was way out of line. And then Tony looks at the dead girl.

She's 20 years old. He goes, yeah, and that too. Paulie goes, yeah, and that too. How do you write shit like that? And that's as cold and sociopathic as those people are. So I've heard from Andy Fiori's cousins know some people. 866-969-1969. So I had to get that out of the way because, I don't know, come on. They should put that somewhere in the, what's the museum?

Landmark status. Huh? Landmark status. Landmark status, which it has, I think. Some type of landmark status. There? She's got landmark status. Landmark status, which it has, I think. Some type of landmark status. There's a bust of Gandolfini. And the other favorite part of the Bing thing ever, I told you, Carmela's in France with Rosalie on vacation. They're looking at these gold statues and these sculptures from literally hundreds and hundreds of years ago.

And they're getting teary-eyed. sculptures from literally hundreds and hundreds of years ago and they're getting teary-eyed and it cuts back to to fucking Stevie Van Zandt's character Silvio yelling at a guy up on a ladder cleaning the sign at the bang he goes she's got shit on her tit and nobody picks up that I guarantee you if you

don't have a comedian it went from them looking at gold statue in Paris he get the shit off you, if you don't have a comedian, it went from them looking at gold statue and parrots. Get the shit off her teeth. If you watch The Sopranos, every time they segue from one scene to another, there's a brilliant joke thrown in there. And a lot of people, it's fucking... I had to watch it eight times before I caught some of them. You know?

Mine's Paulie. It's like, before and way before. Yeah. Tony, did you... Do you hear what I said? I said, it's like, Tony goes, yeah. Tony goes, yeah. It's like before and way before. Yeah. Tony, did you hear what I said? I said it's like, Tony goes, yeah. Tony goes, yeah. It's like before and after. That's what Tony said. Half listener.

Could give a shit. Anyway, there's no England now. God, I love that fucking song. This goes out to the satin dolls. I've been told of kings in days of old, but there's no England now. There's no England now. All the wars that were won or lost somehow don't seem to matter very much anymore. Much anymore.

And they're wiggling their ass and tits What a show My God Anyways We didn't test these It could be loud, man I don't wanna fucking I'm looking at the levels

They're fine Yeah, but it's too late Isn't it? Nah, I can ride the fader And this thing's not I'm touching it It's fucking dead inside tonight I don't know why

mr official let me ask you something how can six of you miss a play like that huh the ball jumped out of there as soon as we made contact. I thought you were talking about you being on the field. No. What? See that ref shit? That ref bullshitted Hank Stram. Took his mind off what he was talking about.

Why did I play that? Because obviously there's a controversial play over the weekend. That was going to bring it up for a little while, but a few people want to talk about it already. Not really that controversial. Look, the call was right. It's the rule that blows. That's all there is to it.

I've been trying to correct this, and it's a very simple correction as far as what a reception is and what a reception isn't. It's like pornography. People don't know what it is until they see it. Right? If you've been watching football, you're not fucking gay or a rockette. You know what a reception is. I've been watching it, and I think I have a little credibility as far as this goes because I started watching the NFL, and this is true, when I was six. I'll be 56 in January.

You do the math. I don't think I've missed a week call it your pro so I know what I've watched I've watched them bastardize what a reception is I don't want to turn this into a sports show right off the bat that's what fucking happens

but I've watched them bastardize it people don't even realize why they change the rules over the years do you know why the play was happening too fast for the referees, who are usually white guys in the late hundreds. And that's why the current rule stands. Somebody can catch a ball now, run a mile and a half, get hit, and it pops loose, and they go incomplete.

You know why? It makes it easy. They're saying as long as that ball comes loose, we're going to call it incomplete. I'm exaggerating as far as how far the receivers have to go. But how many plays have you watched over the last five years, seven, eight years? Guy's got his hands on it for fucking eight minutes. Look up the word possession, for Christ's sake.

Have we lost our minds? What? Go ahead. I thought it was different, though, once you you break the plane though. I'm not. I'll get to that in a second. Absolutely true. Gotcha. Absolutely true. But I'm talking about just not on the goal line,

in the regular field of play because we've been watching this forever and they review it and it's wasting time. When this guy has his hands around the fucking ball, okay, one potato, two potato. Seriously. You know how in a basketball game when somebody hits a buzzer beater?

Or even in hockey, they'll go back to the clock. Okay? So if you have one where the guy's got his hands, he gets drilled and the ball pops loose, go to the replay. Put the clock up. If he has it for a second and a half, you guys pick the fucking number, I don't care, second, second and a half, two seconds.

If he's got his hand around it, which we can see, that's a catch. I don't care if his feet are in the air, he's upside down. If he's got his mitts, his giant mitts around that ball for a second and a half, that's a reception. Anything that happens after that, it's a live ball. It's that easy. Now, as far as, as like you said the play on sunday with the with the goal line i always thought the minute you broke the front of that

goal line and you had possession but the rule that stupid rule and i'm a i'm a patriots fan folks i'm not taking sides here if i was a stale as fan i would have been upset too because it's so silly the ball moved a cunt hair when the guy hit the ground in his hands. I know I didn't have to use that phrase. They don't use that on Monday Night Football, but that's why they have no ratings. The ball moved an inch. You know, that's the silliest. Do you know what I mean? But that's the right call by the officials. But here's what bothers me as a Patriots fan nobody's talking about how Brady drove down that field once again in a cold rainy climate on the fucking road

two minutes and something left 78 yards he does it in 70 seconds a minute and 10 second nobody's talking about that today we've all become so used to it. That and the catch. Which I'd be, again, if I was a Steelers fan, I'd be pissed too, but that's the rule. So, like I said, bad, good call, bad rule. Same, remember with the tuck thing with Brady in the snow against the Raiders?

Again, the right call, shitty rule. So, yeah, I feel for you Steelers fans, but fuck you, You're coming to New England. So? They'll probably play again. I think they probably will, won't they? AFC champions.

But it's not that hard, folks. NFL, I'm trying to help you, but you're not listening, okay? And that's only the beginning of your problems. A couple other things you've got to change. Push in the back rule howard cosell and i've said this on the show numerous times in the podcast howard cosell pointed out i think he said back then 66 or 68 percent of kick plays have a flag on them punt or kickoff. This was back in the late 80s. So he said, he said, you know what? It's the rule that's flawed.

And it is. I agree with that 100%. How many, how many of you out there watching an NFL game, there's a punt or a kick return and there's a flag, you're like, oh, no kidding.

Big deal. Here we go again. Let me guess, push in the back. If we're all saying that for the last 15 years, change it. Allow one push in the back. If we're all saying that for the last 15 years, change it. Allow one push in the back. The first guy down can get pushed in the back.

Oh, whatever. Change the rule. Otherwise, you're making your product predictable and fucking boring. What is it? One out of, you know, it's crazy. Every once in a while, you'll see a punt return or a kickoff with no no flag and you're actually surprised, aren't you? You're holding your breath. So, but I mean, Cosell pointed that out years ago and it's only gotten worse. And the other thing I hate, 866-969-1969, pass interference. If you exclude pass interference,

what is the longest penalty you can get? 15 yards, correct? But now on a pass play, you can get a 78-yard penalty? Correct. Do you understand how that's stupid? I understand the reasoning because it helps more scoring

because the idiots need scoring. That's what the NFL does. That's what baseball does. They juice the baseball. But do you understand how silly that is the longest penalty is 15 yards but now you can get an 81 yarder

I say in college it's a 15 yard penalty but I say split the difference you know what I mean split the difference split the difference it's not fair that's what the game's turning into difference. It's not fair. That's what the game's turning into.

Every time it's late in the game, they go deep and hope for the flag. And now the ball's on the one-yard line, and you're blowing my bet, which is really bothering me. But isn't that fair? Split the difference. It's a 40-yard pass. Okay, we'll give you 20 yards. Isn't that fair?

Yeah, but if he was allowed to catch it, it would have been a touch. Not the point. A lot of times you don't know, do we, if it's interference or not. And let them play, please. It's turned into the NBA. Let them put hands on each other. Let Gronk push off. Let guys push Gronk.

Let them play. It should be like going up for a goddamn rebound. Throw elbows. Who wants the ball? But again, that's not conducive to scoring. When did I turn into fucking coward? What was his name? Colin.

Colin. But these are the same problems that have been bothering the NFL for years. And you guys don't fix them. So, enjoy your cake. Why do I always go into that? I'm just saying, man. And again, if I was a Steelers fan, you know, I would have been fuming. But that play should have never happened.

10-yard reception, the guy goes 90 yards. What fucking Patriots. I was all excited when the Pats went ahead, right? This is me, but I go, goddammit, Belichick, he's not going to miss this. If they kick the extra points, we're only up by two. If he goes for two and gets it, they can't beat

you with a field goal. And I'm praying Belichick misses that, which of course they don't. I took the Steelers getting two and a half. So I lost by half a point. But I'm all excited, right? When the Pats score, because I'm up by two. Pats are going to win. It's the best of both worlds, and I'm going to win the bet. Right. The bet slash the pool with my mother and 11 other girls. But I'm happy because the Pats

are going to win, and I gonna win on the in the pool and um of course they go for two and gronk turns into a did you see gronk doing his retarded frankenstein band oh goodness grace was he a truckload huh but nobody's talking about brady going yeah we're gonna go 78 all right boys it's raining it's cold watch me watch me prove once again i am jesus christ almighty rat ran up my nighty i'll finish it i learned that in fourth grade it's still stuck in my head couldn't help you with a calculus problem if my life depended on it rat ran ran up my nightie, bit my tit, something like that. Made me go shit. Remember that? That stuck.

English, not so much. So, yeah. As a Steelers fan, I would have been a little upset. But again, the refs did the right thing. But the rule stinks. If you have your hands around, what does it matter? I like how they say he didn't survive the ground. Yeah.

What, did his chute not open? The fuck? Sounds like a guy who jumped out of a plane. He didn't survive the ground. I just thought of that. It was pretty fucking funny. Write that down. There's another one second for my stand-up act putting together a new hour a second at a time see you guys in 2031

my next special call i've had enough anyways let's uh let's we'll take a break and we'll come back and uh we can talk about the game a little Again, this is what's tricky about a two-hour show. Set it up for half. But I got so much more. The Carolina Panthers, the old white fella, of course. Oh, he used a racial slur back in 1811. Let's go after him. Take away his chariot.

And then this story in the Sunday paper about these goddamn parents in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Tiny tots are attending protests and only using gender-neutral pronouns. The parents are taking them to political rallies and shit at one and two years of age. That makes me want to poo-poo blood. So let's take a break.

We come back, we'll talk about the, we'll get your opinions and stuff on the Pats game and whatnot. We got a lot, a lot more to talk about. 866-969-1969. Back after this. You're listening to the Nick DiPaolo Show on Faction Talk Sirius XM 103. We'll be right back. You got me running, going out of my mind. You got me thinking that I'm wasting my time. Don't bring me down.

No, no, no, no, no. Ooh, ooh. I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor. Don't bring me down. The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. If you want to stay out with your fancy friends. Oh, yeah. Final segment on a Monday. The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. Oh, yeah. Final segment on a Monday.

On a Monday and a short week. Andy, where are you spending Kwanzaa this year? I'll be by myself in New Jersey. I told you, my folks are going to Italy, so. You should have some people, though. Oh, yeah. We're going to have a rager. By people, I mean 11 strippers from five different countries

all here illegally. Well, the Satin Dolls girls are looking for work, so. Yeah, maybe you can have them wash your tub. Satin Dolls.

Good name, huh? Satin Dolls. That's a good name. Anyways, Carolina Panthers owner Jerry Richardson says he's gonna sell the team why you say well he's part of the fucking

witch hunt announced Sunday he's gonna put his team up for sale at the end of the season the National Football League said it was opening an investigation into accusations of workplace misconduct against them. Oh, for the love of Christ.

He was quoted as saying, I believe that it is time to turn the franchise over to new ownership. I'm a Jew living on a pension. In the twilight of my life. I like to live in Israel. He said in a statement on the team's website. Therefore, I will put the team up for sale at the end of the season. Two days ago, the team said it was conducting an internal investigation into Richardson's conduct,

but did not specify the nature of the allegation. Sports Illustrated says they include sexual harassment of multiple female employees and a racial slur. Oh, let's take them out and shoot them. Oh. How. Anybody seen the hypocrisy here. The fucking NFL.

Who 80% of the players. Are fucking thugs. And fucking. Okay I'm exaggerating numbers wise. No but. You know how many have charges for domestic violence and all that shit and you're gonna come down on this guy

hours before Richards' announcement on Sunday the NFL reported that the league was opening its own investigation of the allocations oh my goodness on investigations, the allocations. Oh, my goodness. The Panthers announced that former White House chief of staff to President Clinton, Erskine Bowles, who was a minority owner of the team, would oversee the investigation by law firm

Quinn Emanuel Urquhart and Sullivan. Oh, my God. Do you understand? Meanwhile, Ezekiel, what was it, Ezekiel Elliott? The running back? Right now he's suspended for like six games, smacked around his girlfriend, allegedly, right? They cut to him during a game this Sunday

of him on a beach running and showing good shape. He's in it, shit. Anybody? Anybody? Sports Illustrated, in quoting unnamed sources, detailed what it claims were inappropriate comments made by Richardson about how female employees fit into their jeans.

Oh my god. Oh my. Jokes about girls and how they fit in their jeans. Bye bye, dickhead. Oh, that's horrible. As well as multiple female employees

recalling to Sports Illustrated, Richardson asked them if he could personally shave their legs. Oh my god. Give me a break, will you please? Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore and you know it. That's him replying to the charge. Do you understand?

Now listen to his, the funny part. Oh, here we go. Let's get to more of this. Also for directing a racial slur at an African-American employee back in 1877, before the Panthers had formed. He has taken a leaf from a playbook he's deployed in the past. Confidential settlements were reached and payments were made to complainants accompanied by nondisclosure and nondisparagement clauses.

Okay, so the people signed them. Designed to shield the owner and the organization from further liability and damaging public. We're on this moral crusade. I just fucking love it. Should we go into the past of 90% of the NFL players playing around? Should we go in their bedrooms and look under their fucking beds? Meanwhile, how many black guys has this guy employed over the last how many years?

If you want to play that game. But here's the funny part. You know who's thinking about buying him? Following Richards' announcement of the team's impending sale, Sean Diddy Combs and Golden State Warriors star Stephon Curry issued tweets saying they're interested. Yeah, let's bring the hip-hop community. That's the other thing about the NFL.

Coming down hard on sexual harassment and shit. Meanwhile, they glorify the hip-hop fucking world. Remember they had Ice-T do a PSA announcement? I did a bit about it. I just remember he pops up on a PSA and he's telling us how to treat women during an NFL game. Remember a couple scenes ago?

Don't be your bitches. Back to the game. But you know, they glorify the hip hop fucking world. Meanwhile, could you find more misogynist industry than that? Other than the NFL?

But Jerry, you know, Richardson, the old white guy should shut his mouth and go away because. Oh. I want to make sure this isn't too loud when I play. Let's bring the hip-hop...

Have you heard the lyrics? And this isn't P. Diddy. I think this is Nipsey Hussle. I'm not shitting you. Pits ain't shit. That's me mixing that shit. Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks. Yeah, we need more of that.

Let's get that flavor. Let's get P. Diddy. He can buy the Panthers. Maybe Rick Ross can buy the Rams. Is Shug? Is he out? I couldn't tell you. Maybe he could work with Robert Kraft to make the Patriots not so white and so efficient.

Maybe have 11 penalties in the first quarter for jumping offside. This is to me when it gets laughable. And he settled with some of these girls, this old man, apparently. Okay. And you signed a non-disclosure. Shut your yap. It's just beginning, folks. It's going to go on forever, but the fun part is

it's like who's next, you know? We're going to find out that Buzz Aldrin grabbed some chick's tits in a broom closet at NASA. But he's gone. He's gone. And then we can go back. All kinds of stuff's going to come up. But yeah, that's the solution. Have guys like P. Diddy become part owners.

Get all the white people out of everything. I mean, Hollywood, sports sports they've had their time don't beat your bitches back to the game got a whole bit on it can't remind anything but that line it is in my memory let's go to mike in Milwaukee. Mike, welcome to the show. How's your onion? Nick, how you doing? Pretty good.

Merry Christmas, if I don't get a chance. Yeah, same to you and the hammer. I appreciate that. You know, it is a good point now. What are you going to get the hammer for Christmas, Mike? Well, you know what? I know she's not listening, so I'm just going to tell you. All right. I gave her, I'm giving her the last 35 years of my fucking life

i gave her my hairline my my non-ulcers she's got it all and i'm gonna buy a a million dollar policy from the one of your sponsors there because I already noticed my pasta starting to taste like antifreeze. Hey, we have Meryl Streep's daughter at a mall sitting on Santa's lap. Santa, you know what I want for Christmas this year?

What? A big fat cock! In my ass! Can you imagine Meryl Streep's daughter? She's out of control. And her leathery nipples. Anyways, your thoughts on the... You know, did they make that... Were you watching that game, the Packers, yesterday?

Did they make that announcement during the game? Did I not see that? Or am I losing... Maybe I'm a little fucked up here. I'm sure they said it during the game. You know, and... It is to the point now... The broadcaster said that

you mean probably i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure that's when i saw it yeah and uh you know it's just to the point now where you just have to some woman with a bug up her ass just has to say the words and and you're forced to fall on the sword this is it's such bullshit at this point it's such a joke and this guy what what could this guy have done that he's got to sell his team to get to fly under the you know what it maybe just don't sit in your box every week stay home and watch a fucking game there you go sell his team there you go it's it's just i i don't know you know can you imagine though the examples they use in the article? Oh, he joked about shaving their legs, the girls.

If that's one of the things, that's one of the highlights of your article. I mean, the fucking FBI has more on collusion, for Christ's sake. You know, and that rap song you played there. Yeah. That wasn't P. Diddy. That is. That's every rap song, you know. And these are the guys that song you know and and these are

the guys that you know if for some reason their little group that wants to try and buy that team was rejected they'd say it was because they're black you know i mean it's just it's just too much it's getting to be too much and you know people that are not racist are getting forced into it at this point. I mean, it's just, it's too much with this, with them and us, and everything we do is wrong, and it's because they're black. Can you imagine being single at this point in your life? Yeah. No, I couldn't.

Matter of fact, there's somebody up here that wanted to mention that. Oh, Lord. Yeah, I'm going to take him next. No, I don't know if it's like, it's more damaging to the, you know, the people who have the power and stuff, have more to lose and stuff. But like I said, the kid, a guy on a college campus, and this has been going on a lot the last few years, and once again, Obama changed something on college campuses as far as accusing. It's almost a kangaroo court. Guys don't have a chance.

He finagled with something in Title IX that makes it almost impossible for a guy to defend himself. They talk about Trump being evil. That motherfucker was the worst thing to happen in this country. Mike, I got to go. I got 19 calls on the line. Love you, buddy. Have a Merry Christmas. All right.

Take care. Take care. Yeah, that's a good... Well, you're out there a little bit. Yeah. But, you know, you're a comic, so it's not like you own the club and have... Right. I think the target, the guys are the powerful guys.

But I'm sure it happened. Like I said, the kids on campus, college campus, it's rife with... This is a movement, folks. Do you understand the patriarchy? They think they're going to turn it over. Here's their opening. You get it? Do you understand? But don't you

understand guys are not going to let that happen? Or maybe they will. They let it come this far. Guys are going to just stop making up shit and getting more evil if this is not in their own hashtags. Never touched her. Hashtag lying whore. Prove it.

Hashtag pro. I mean, that's what it feels like right now anyways, right? Go ahead, Fiora. You can talk. I was going to say, in the comedy club literally on friday night late show 12 45 doing my set yeah group of young girls right at the very front row table to my right yeah uh so i start talking to them i go uh you girls are young right how old's college she goes you can't say girls to us okay cunts i beat you to it there There's my instinct, and it has been since my first open mic.

So maybe I do have a problem with women. But I would let that fly before, and they'd get up, and they had tears in their eyes, and I'd go, take your dirty asses out of the club. Enjoy your cake. Is that what they... But there were 21-year-old seniors in college. Did you say that, though? I said twats, not cunts.

Ah, you got to go with cunts. It's much more painful. You got it right, Palumbo. You liked that? I said twats, not cunts. You gotta go with cunts. It's much more painful. You got it right, Palumbo. You liked that word you said, didn't you? Palumbo. It's my favorite. Was that my aunt? My favorite. My Aunt Betty. I also like twat, but I usually go with twazole. I say

twatzone. Yeah? Twazole. See, I think my buddy used to say twatzone, but I think he was trying to say Toisole. Toisole. That's Brooklyn. Toisole. And then I'd go with a real Italian, Bukyak.

Oh, nice. Yeah. Do you remember another episode of Soprano? Christopher's watching, they're making the movie. Remember the one when he gets involved with the red-headed D-girl? I love her. I know. He goes, he's watching and

Jon Favreau's directing. We need a word. Janine Gravel's like, we need a word. Bitch doesn't really do it. Krista goes, bukak. And the director's like kind of this butch girl. She goes, what does that mean with this cunty talk? And he goes, cunt. And she goes,

she goes, what is it again? Bukak. Janine goes, that's interesting. But the way Moltisanti, what does that word mean? Cunt. Oh, my God, that show would make me laugh till I cry. And I know you're not a fan of that word. It's a word. I don't get it.

As a comic, I just don't. The power we give word, I just don't. I don't understand the offensiveness over the word cunt. I mean, especially because we own them, you know? It's my body part, so. No, exactly. And most men want that body part. So I don't really get the offensiveness.

I don't either. I don't either. I don't either. It just rolls off the tongue so nice. It's a K at the beginning and aggressive. And they use it in English. They use it like hello. Well, that's when people, when they say I'm a fan, they're like, I'm in London right now. What are you fucking, mind your business.

I like how they use it. Maybe I can... It's a good word. My mother doesn't like it that much. I like to throw it around. Imagine if Ron was here right now. He'd be going, okay, what the fuck?

Oh, forget it. He hates that, doesn't he, Ron? You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. A big fat stinking cunt. She's cute. Says out to Meryl Streep. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. A motherfucking cunt. Everybody knows from the ad,

you're a big fat stinking cunt. Dun, dun, dun. A little catchy, isn't it? But yeah, I think P. Diddy would be a good owner. Terrific. That's their wet dream, folks. You understand? When we talk about race relations and people go,

we've come a long way, but we have a long way to go. That's the fantasy right there for white libs and a lot of black people. All black league, all black owners, all black entertainment, all black commercials. Can't get us out of here fast enough, but the sad reality is we're 68% of the population. I say we, yes,

I realize I'm Italian and you guys don't throw me in the white category. But I sure pay taxes like a white fella and Didn't get a lot of help college loans like so that proves. I'm a white male Did it did it did do Let's go to our John in Los Angeles John, what's going on? The fire's still burning. Ricky, you hear me? Yes, sir.

Yeah, it's burning. About 30% contained. I think it's the third largest fire now, historically. But it's north of me. I'm in L.A. Concrete and steel is hard to burn. Yeah, but Jesus, I saw both sides of the 405 there a couple weeks ago. I couldn't believe it.

I'm like, hey, I recognize that exit. Yeah, it jumped. It jumped into Bel Air a little bit. Yeah, a lot of money there, so they could put it out real quick. So what's your thoughts on the whole hashtag MeTooHollywood going after every fella that's ever earned a penny? Well, I remember when the Sony emails got hacked, the producers were accused that they were having parties to entice young men. And that story got buried back then very rapidly. And I just haven't seen or heard of it since then.

I don't know if there's anything on your end. You crack investigative reporters there might be able to come up with something. I'm driving, so I didn't have time to research beforehand. Yeah, we can hardly hear you. You're cutting in and out, John. No, I don't have any. I was in the hot tub with Corey and his friend, uh, no, I don't have any, uh, I, I, I was in the hotel with Corey, uh, and his friend. And that's all I remember.

I remember hearing this sound and somebody crying and then a guy putting a towel around me and leading me to a bedroom. Do you hear me now? No, no, it's even worse. Sorry, John, I'm going to let you go. Every time he calls, it's kind of a weird connection. I think he might have been battling the fires as he's talking to us. Sorry, I was distracted by these beautiful cards that Chuck from Boston sent.

You know? Let's go to, yeah, Riley. I wanted to talk to Riley. He says accusations make it hard in the dating scene, and he knows. This guy's out there swinging it. Riley, what's going on? Is it tough out there? While in a black dress.

How dare he? You're a whiny cocksucker, you know that? Bye-bye, dickhead. Oh, my goodness. I felt that one was a setup. As I was going to it, my instincts. I love these people. Let's go to,

let's go to Kevin in Minnesota. Kevin. Hi, Kevin. Take it easy, Kevin. Enjoy your night. Just fucking Christ. What am I being punked here? Let's call my parents' house.

I know they're still up. Hi, Ma. What are you doing? Making a campanada? Did I tell you what I did this weekend? I told you guys, but I didn't tell you on the air, did I? Making the homemade pasta from El Scracho. Oh, my God.

Huh? There really isn't? And then braised short ribs for the sauce. The braised. Braised them for three hours, then tore it apart with a fork back into the sauce. Over the fresh pasta. Jesus H. And today I had it warmed up.

It's better. Yeah. Huh? Always better. Right, Palombo? Always better pasta. Always. No comparison.

Yep. And it was delicious yesterday. Yeah, everything just melts. You should really make stuff. It congeals. Don't. What? It congeals a little bit.

It congeals. The flavor. The flavor. Nice. Yeah. Best. Oh, my God. Best ever.

You didn't use too many onions, did you? No, it was a smaller. I used one onion, Paulie. A half onion, actually. Three big onions. Yeah. Fucking three big onions. White wine.

Fucking braise short. Oh, my God. I love to cook. The pasta was three whole eggs, one egg yolk, two cups of flour, a little bit of salt. And the food processor banged out in 10 seconds. And I got the machine. You plug into your KitchenAid. And then you, yeah.

No, mine's not a crank. Oh, we have the crank from my family from like 1930 or whatever. Anyways, I thought I'd bring that up at the end of the show after we talked about sexual harassment. Should have brought some pork. All right, that is it, kids. Tomorrow night I want to get to this article about kids becoming, their parents are using them here in the city as political props, bringing them to political protests.

How sick is that? We'll talk to you tomorrow night, same time. Bye-bye, everybody. Hey, I saved the world today And everybody's happy now The bad things gone away And everybody's happy now The good things here to stay

Please let it stay