The Nick DiPaolo Show - 214 - Best Of: Bert Kreischer

Episode Date: January 11, 2018

Bert Kreischer

Welcome to the Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. Welcome back. Final segment on a Tuesday night. Don't forget, tomorrow night we're playing the best of Nick DiPaolo. I'll be at the Fat Black Pussycat downtown. And September 9th, come see me at Yonkers Comedy Club. September 16th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania. September 29th, Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut. And go see our guest right now, Frank Santorelli, at the Kowloon Restaurant, Saugus Mess, this weekend.

The Kowloon. Go to franksantorelli.com for ticket information. Frankie played, obviously, Georgie on The Sopranos. Lou in New Jersey has a question for Frank. Hey, how you guys doing tonight? Hey, Lou. What's up, Lou? Frank, I wanted to get your opinion on what's your interpretation on how The Sopranos ended the final episode?

Yeah, you know, it was kind of rough. I was at a party. Everyone was pissed at me. Like I had something to do with it that's hilarious i was like you sitting on the remote did you pay the cable bill you know people just were fucking ripped everybody's in tuxedos people are dressed up as people the characters on the show where were you it was in boston right down the street i was in waltham mass you know i was at a party at somebody's house with like 40 people. Everybody dressed up. There was food.

I thought it was kind of rough. I thought they didn't tie up any of the loose ends. It was a metaphor for him having to look over his shoulder. Really, no shit. He's been killing guys for eight years and eating Froot Loops off of his stomach. I don't know. I didn't get it. I liked it.

I did. A lot of people liked it. Yeah, they said, because you left it open. They left it completely open. They left it open, but also, it was, what's his name? David Chase's way of saying, fuck you. I'm not going to end it the way you want. Yes, exactly.

I'm not going to tie it into a little bow. Right. Because everything that's held, you know. Right. It's not how it happens in the real world. There was no way they were going to do it anyway in one bow because everything that's held by, you know, it's not how it happens in the real world. There was no way they were going to do it anyway in one episode. He's a real artist. He doesn't give a fuck with the public. Oh, he was kind of mad. I saw

him at a press conference. No, there's no more. There's no more. You know, like, is there more? Is there going to be like some ending? No. So yeah, no, it was it was, it was, it left it wide open. I'm convinced, you know, at this point they would have kept another, they would have done another show with him. They would have offered him big dough,

and he would have come out of retirement to play Tony again. Lode, what did you think of the ending, Lou? I personally like it. I thought it was kind of a metaphor that he'll always be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life. But like it or dislike it, people are still talking about the ending. Sure. Right.

Sure, they're still coming up to me, man. They're still coming up to me. One woman came up and says, I totally believe you like this big stupid guy. I said, okay. What's your wife's name? All right, Lo, thank you. All right, thank you. Hi.

So you got to know Gandalf pretty good. yeah you're in every scene with him i worked very closely with him yeah it was just me and him on the set sometimes you know all alone and um i remember the first thing they gave me those big tattoos you know the big ass tattoos chase just came into the makeup room and said give this guy some tattoos and the girl goes what just give him tattoos go crazy on both of his arms you know so she gives me these tattoos and they're wet so they're gonna wait for this old uh old lady hairspray that they sprayed to seal it right and they didn't put it on yet you know so um i had to take my shirt off which caused audible gas from the women there because i'm cut like stone

so anyway they put these tattoos on g Gandolfini comes up behind me. He just met me like an hour before. And he comes and he gives me a bear hug. Georgie! He goes like this and he picks me up. And he sets me down. Oh no. And the ink has destroyed everything he's wearing.

They whisk him away and they go, stay the fuck away from Jim. Like it was your fault? Like it was my fault. Now that wouldn't piss him off, right? Oh, no, but what happened was they had to go out into Jersey and try to find that shirt. So, like, here comes an hour later. He comes in the room. He puts his head down on the bar in front of me.

It's a real bar. We're in the Butter Bing, the real, the Satin Dolls. And Van Zandt says, hey, Frankie, give everybody a drink. We got like a half hour. I go, really? He goes, yeah. What the fuck? I go, okay.

So I start pouring drinks for everybody. Beer, beer. There's like 30 people all there. I'm giving drinks to everybody. And Gandolfini's got his head down. I put a shot and a set in front of him. I just set it down. He goes, dink, onto the bar.

He picks his head up. He does the shot. He goes, he thought it was water. So he whisks off. The director comes over. He he goes i told you to stay the fuck away from jim he goes back in the room 20 minutes later he goes what the fuck's the matter with you i go what he goes oh i thought it was what i go i know i'm sorry i just put it in front of you i thought you knew everybody was drinking he goes he really he was falling he fell asleep he actually fell asleep on the bar that's how tired he was he He was doing 20-hour days.

No, I know. Unbelievable. Yeah, oh, yeah. He was doing 20-hour days. His trailer was right there. Oh, yeah. He was a great guy. That's what they said.

He was the nicest guy in the world. He was going to come see me at the Boston Comedy Club. Oh, jeez. He sits down with Chase across from me. He goes, we heard you were a comedian. I said, that's right. He goes, where? I said, that's right. He goes, where? I said, I work all over the country.

Where? I go, I'm going to be in the village tonight at the Boston Comedy Club. He goes, the Boston Comedy Club? I go, yeah, that's the name of it. I go, it's kind of like an earthy kind of granola-eating kind of wood college bar. He goes, what, I got to wear a fucking beret? I swear to God. And so they didn't come they didn't come they were gonna but no no they would have started a firestorm the two of them chasing

gandalf imagine they walk into a exactly the boston comedy club of all places that had to be brutal on him to be i mean a guy of that stature. Absolutely. That's an iconic role. And he couldn't, as Elton John says, not want to easily hide. That's right. Just where could he? Well, you know, when I heard he was in the village, he was in the village riding around on a moped. Yes. With a helmet on, so you could not tell it was him. You literally couldn't tell it was him.

And there was 30 people standing out in front of his apartment in the village, and he would go out the back way in the moped. Now, he got hit on that moped. Do you remember that? Yeah. He got hit. Yeah. And he got pretty banged up. Yeah.

He didn't, you know, he got kind of scraped up and bruises. I don't think he broke anything, but he was hurt, man. He got whacked by some crazy cab driver. But yeah, he couldn't go anywhere. Hanging out with him was like hanging out with Babe Ruth. Yeah. Tony! Calling him Tony. Right. Screaming, Tony! Like that. It's like, well couldn't go anywhere. Hanging out with him is like hanging out with Babe Ruth. Yeah. Tony! Calling him Tony.

Screaming, Tony! Like that. It's like, well, wait a minute. His name's Jim. Like, people come up to me going, hey, you're bigger than him. How come you don't hit him back? And I go, what are you, an idiot? You know this isn't fucking real, right?

Yeah. It's a TV show. Well, I get, how'd you let Louie beat you up? I know. I know. It's crazy. People think it, I get. How'd you let Louis beat you up? I know. I know. It's crazy. People think it's real. They fucking.

Tony. Does he look like he could beat me up? Fucking Louis. Fucking red pasty. Fucking. I said he wrote the script. The fuck. Right.

I had to agree to it. You know? Yeah. But what a sad thing. Yeah. Br sad thing yeah brutal well let me ask you before i get into that but there was some there's another person who passed away like that though and i'm sure she's nice and everything they had that casting call over new jersey uh cattle called if you remember this a radio station the the jenny that played johnny sag's wife yes acting wise to me didn't cut it i all due respect to the late lady and i'm sure she was not right but uh yeah i know i know a lot

of a lot of a lot of decision making was weird that was that was a cattle call it was almost like a pr stunt right and that's where they got and i I went, why would you do that? I know, I know. Very weird. And the other guy that I thought was horrendous, when Uncle Junior was, when they had him at trial, the guy that was trying to put Uncle Junior, the prosecutor. Oh, right. He was fucking, man. Really? You could hear the nerves in his voice.

And I sit there going, how the fuck are my landing rolls? This guy's on the greatest show and he's nervous. You can see it. Right. And his voice was shaking. Right. We know Junior Soprano. You know the guy I'm talking about? Yes, I do. I do. P-fucking-you. But I ran into the guy that played the

lawyer. You know when Tony's buying the house down the Jersey Shore? The boat, the guy that played the lawyer? Sure. I ran into him in Elevator. I go, dude, you just fucking knocked it out of the park. Right, right. That guy can act. Then he played Letterman, I think, in that Leto Letter movement.

Yes. The same guy, right? Yes, that's right. The same guy. That's right. This guy can act his balls out. Sure, sure. Oh, my God.

He was so good. Let's go to Zach in Pittsburgh. Zach. Zachary. Hey, what's up guys what's happening hey i'm on the way back home here from my office there camp in the mountains and uh you played that clip of him talking about the tell your mother talking to shane just made me laugh man thanks man that's a funny line it made me think about something it's the one time stand-up comedy

actually got me late. I did a local show in Pittsburgh there. And I go home with this girl. And obviously, you know, things happen. It was a stupid little, you know, local show. So it was a Wednesday night. So we get up in the morning. And we both go to go to work.

Because we kept it back to our apartment. And actually, I stuck my hand on her knee in the morning. She swatted it away. I'm kind of thinking, you know what we were doing about six hours ago? I had my tongue so far for snacks, I practically tasted egg. You know, it wasn't oral. You know, I was practically eating caviar. And honest to God, I looked at her.

I said, what's up with that? This is exactly what she said. Might be one of the funniest things ever. She goes, I'm going to tell you. I've had to shave my legs three times in one day. So she wouldn't let me touch her legs first thing in the morning. Oh, God. Oh, the poor thing.

What a way to go through life. Right. All right, Zach. Love you guys. Take care. Julie in Florida. Welcome to the show, Julie. Say hi to Frank Centarelli. Hi, Frank.

Hi, Nick. Hey. What's up? What's up is thank God you're out there speaking the truth. Well, some people think it's the truth. I don't know. Right. I'm not originally from Florida.

I'm from California, the land of fruits and nuts. Yeah. But, oh, God. I just, I appreciate your podcast so much. And just speaking in all the nonsense, I've had it. I've had it. Everybody just shut the fuck up. You're talking about what, the politically correct nonsense?

Frank, how do you feel about that? I don't know where you stand politically. Yeah, I am. Have you had, no, I'm talking about Frank. Hold on, Julie. I know you know where you stand politically. Yeah, I am. Have you had, no, I'm talking about Frank. Hold on, Julie. I know you've had enough of it. Frank. He's going to be like.

No, I don't know. I mean, because like Dennis Larry's an Emerson guy. All these old school kind of lib, Eddie Brill. Are you with that? Are you with that? No, no. You're from, aren't you an Ohio guy? I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio.

An Italian from Cleveland. An Italian from Cleveland. An Italian from Cleveland. That's right. Interesting. They have a whole, Julie, they have a whole Italian section. That's right. That's right. Yeah.

That's where my niece got married there. Have you had it with a PC? Does it affect your act at all? No. No. I try not to talk about that stuff. I go right down the middle. You know what I mean?

Good for you. You know what I mean? Good for you. You know what? Most people do. Most people do. Yeah. I don't want to start a shitstorm while I'm on stage. That's all I want to talk about. That's right.

That's cool. Julie, who's your favorite comedian, Julie? Stand-up one. You and I love Tom Segura. Segura, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very funny dude.

What about Frank Santorelli? You're at the top list, though. Thanks, Jules. All right. I'll talk to you soon. Thanks for calling. Bye. Bye-bye.

Wow, I was feeding off her energy. Me too. It's like a cancer benefit for a few minutes. Jesus Christ. You know who was fun was Paulie Walnuts. Tony Sirico. He was great. He was a blast.

You know, like he would, what's that? No, for nothing, T. What the fuck? That's pretty good. So good. You know, I was in the first four episodes. And then I didn't see anybody for like a whole year. You know what I mean?

And I showed up and he looks at me and he goes, well, you must have done something right. And then after a while, he got to know me a little bit. And then I did a show out in Brooklyn. I did a show in Brooklyn. He came. He came to the show. And someone called him. My manager called and said, hey, Frank's going to be in your area. Do you want to come to the show? He called him my manager called and said hey frank's gonna

be in the in your area uh do you want to come to show he goes frank he's a good boy you know like i was like his son you know but he liked me a lot yeah because uh yeah i can see yeah he was a great guy he was the real deal oh yeah i know you know what i mean like he was one of the few guys i think that was i think he i think he was uh uh the real deal yeah he was he was definitely in. He did some time. Yeah. He did some real time.

A little bit of time. Sure. And he had the real muscles. He had muscles. He was 65 and he looked like he was built like a rock. I know. And everybody commented about his hair. He would show up with his hair like that.

The makeup people didn't touch him. Are you shitting me? No, no. Are you shitting me? And I said to Gandolfini once, what do you think he'd do if I walked over and went, eh, and messed his hair up? He goes, go ahead. Oh, God.

Gandolfini goes, go ahead. He goes, go ahead. See what happens. Are you shitting me? Oh, yeah. Stop getting cunty. Funniest character ever, I swear to Christ. uh nicest guy was van zant he was the nicest guy in the world sent me christmas cards and uh who was writing all that funny shit frank you know who

was writing it um well there was one guy he was from boston rinzuli was the beginning yeah i would always see his name in the beginning he was he was the writer that's that launched that show i don't know what happened. He's a Boston guy, probably. That's right. That's right. It was his life. Those first seven episodes are unreal. And then he was gone. And everybody asked me. That's right. Then they brought in

two other husband and wife team. Burgess. Burgess, Meredith and his wife, Karen. His wife, Karen Meredith. It was a husband and wife couple that were writing those episodes. Yeah, you'd always see Burgess. Yeah,, Karen Meredith. It was a husband and wife couple that were writing those episodes. Yeah, you'd always see Robin Burgess.

Yeah, Robin Burgess. And I forget the man's name. Something green. Yeah, that's it. Right? That's it. But those first seven episodes. Dallas Green.

You've got to watch the first seven episodes. Nobody knew he was really funny. And I never met the, everybody asked me all the time, you know Frank Renzulli? You know Frank Renzulli? Never met the guy.

Never met him. I would always see that name. And you're right. It just disappeared, man. He's gone. I don't know if it was financial or what happened. Yeah. And I'm forgetting.

Van Patten, I did that movie with Artie Beer League. And he was at the opening of Beer League. Van Patten and another guy. Big name. I think he worked on vinyl too a director you're talking about a director one of the writers or produces he was with van patten jesus i can't believe oh he's the guy that was in every credit uh the one with the buscemi he he did a couple of episodes uh what the heck was the name of that show with buscemi oh uh the jersey the down the shore that's it that's it yeah yeah what the heck was the name of that show with Buscemi? The Jersey, the Boardwalk Empire.

That's it. What the hell's his name? I can't think of it. I don't know, but they came up to me. I was like, oh, you know who else was at that opening? Who's the guy that Christopher's friend that Uncle Junior shot in the tub, Brendan

Fallone. Yes. Andy, look up his real name. Not Terrence Winter. Terrence Winter! Terry Winter! That's it. That's it. And he was with and I was like all flattered that he fucking recognized me. Right. Yeah, look up Brendan Fallone.

Anthony DeSantis or something? Anthony DeSando. DeSando. This guy. First of all, he stole Artie's movie. He was so unbelievable. But as Brendan Filone, even in that little part, he was so god damn good. Yes. Just you know. Absolutely.

I still see that scene where he comes over he comes over with Christopher and they're at Meadow's girlfriend's house. Right. No, Meadow comes over with her girlfriend to score some meth or something but he's in the background

like on a pull up bar like in the doorway exactly he's kind of hitting on Meadow's on Meadow's friend but at the end of the scene after they leave Chris was like

I'm not gonna get you meth your father will fucking kill me so you know Meadow leaves with her friend they leave what's his name does like a dismount Brendan off the fucking thing me. So, you know, Meadow leaves with her friend. They leave. What's his name? He does like a dismount.

Brendan. Off the fucking thing. And he goes, kids, you think you can help him, but you can't. Just the stupidest. He's got his wife's beater on. Just a dumb Ginzalone. Right. Ginzalone.

Kids, you think you can help him, but you can't. Coming out of a meth addict man yeah i was uh i was in the scene with christopher under the bridge we played it last night under the bridge with the body you know the dead body and the crabs the crabs are crawling all over the place and the fingernails absolutely and then there was a scene out back well oh ralphie but you're throwing up with your big i'm throwing up and and they're going, take a big hit of this, you big pussy. They got green soup.

Pea soup, and I'm puking that up. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was a lot of fun. But we're under that bridge. And that was kind of weird. It was a guy hul-hawking over there. Where was it? It was right under the bridge. Going out to 9th Route. What is that? What, on the tarp hike?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were 1 to 9. That's what it looked like. That's what it looked like. And then the scene where the girl- Look at his fingernails. Here's me- Like a woman.

That's it. Here's me, my kid's going to a Catholic school. Okay, so we can't tell Sister Catherine that Frank Santorelli's on the Sopranos. Is that true? And so, yeah. So my one kid's going to a grade school, and I'm like, the one woman comes up to me, and this is a little kid's school, preschool. You're on The Sopranos.

I said, yeah. In fact, I'm on tonight. And they're, oh, really? So all these 35-year-old teachers from the school go, okay, we're going to watch The Sopranos. Well, it's the one where I'm hustling strippers for blowjobs in the doorway there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's the one where I get beat up.

No, Ralphie hits me in the face with the chain, and then he kills the stripper out back. Bangs your head up against the railing and everything. Just a brutal fucking episode. That's the episode these women watch. So I come in the next morning with my kid. They can't even look at me. Oh, yeah. They were absolutely appalled.

I open the door. I go, it's 50 bucks plus a blowjob to me. You understand what I'm saying? Oh, that's right. That's me going hustling the strippers for blowjobs. It's 50 bucks to me plus a blowjob. Oh, yeah. No good.

They couldn't even look at me. It was hilarious. It's funny you say that because we were at my brother's up in Albany. It was like season two or whenever. And my parents were up there. And it was right after the Super Bowl ended. I think it was that Rams game, the Titans-Rams that night. Yeah.

And so the Sopranos came. My parents had never seen it. I go, you have to watch this. You have to watch. About four minutes in, Richie April, when he gets out of prison, the girl's blowing him, literally blowing him for like five minutes. My mother's like, what the? What's the matter?

You're an adult. Right. My old man's like, this is pretty good. But that's the fucking episode. That's the episode. Sure, sure. It's like the kids are all, you know, everybody's like in the living room. They're all looking at me.

What's the matter with you? Out of all the episodes. How good was David Previle as Richie April? Unreal. Was he just the most despicable? I met him at HBO Party party i got a picture with him it's on my man remember the manson lamps stop giving me the manson lamps his eyes you know his eyes were that that fucking bug out evil oh my god absolutely he was great he was freaking great it's mad at tony they made it on my shopping mall remember sure i

was cutting through the food court and his kids spilled chinese food all over my shirt just a miserab david provost yeah i i that i was writing for chris rock at the time oh okay and we get nominated for emmys go out there and this is right after his scenes i was and i was just uh obsessed with richie sure and um he's the first guy running toward the party he's got a tux on so we take a picture to get this so my mantle looks like this big how about janet what are you gonna fucking cry now janet shoots him in the chest he was the fucking he was an evil sob how about uh big pussy i was hanging out with big pussy once and uh we did new year's eve together at the catch and he goes you want to see the ball drop and he pulls his pants down

that's fucking he wasn't too friendly to me pastor oh no Oh, no. He's tough. He's tough. He's tough to hang out with. Absolutely. He's another Brooklyn, real Brooklyn. Sure, sure. We did this thing with, what's his name, Michael Imperioli. Sure. We put things together, and we went on the road in Vegas, and what's his name, Artie Bocco, the guy that played Artie Bocco.

Sure, sure. He sang. John Ventimiglia. Yeah, John Ventimiglia sang. And what's his name? Johnny Sack did some Sinatra tunes. Sure. And me and somebody else did comedy.

It was cool. They were all there except for Gandolfini and Walnuts, of course. Right. And get to meet Uncle Junior. Uncle Junior. Dominic Cianese. Oh, my God. He was great.

He's got to be. He was old in the Godfather. Yeah. That's right. You know what he does? He's got to be. He was old in The Godfather. Yeah. That's right. You know what he does? He's an acoustic guy. He'll go to Jersey and just play in a nightclub. Acoustic songs off of a guitar.

Even now. That's right. How old is he, Frankie? I'd guess he's 80. I would guess he's 80. He's got to be. He's got to be 80. He's got to be.

Christ, he was 61 in The Godfather. Right. He goes, they're sticking so many things up my ass I taste brokeream Yeah the feds are so close Feds are so far up my ass I can't taste brokeream Oh no he was great Oh we play him all the time

86 Do I have He's 86 86 And he's still out there Sure he is Sure he is Can you imagine

Absolutely I'm fucking 55 I'm like you want to do a set Nah fuck that 15 minutes of telling jokes Might as well ask me To go into a coal mine. I know. At this point.

My hips are hurting. Frankie, thank you so much. Hey, thanks, Nicky. We've got to wrap it up here. All right. Thank you so much, man. Funny dude. Go see him this weekend.

Thanks, man. At Kowloon in Saugus, Massachusetts. He's a really funny dude. Thanks, man. And thank you to all the callers tonight. And what do we got? Tomorrow night, we're off. Off.

It's the best of tomorrow night. Come see me at the Fat Black Pussycat tomorrow night if you're in town. Where the hell is that? It's downtown, right around the corner from the Comedy Zone. Oh, okay. And Yonkers Comedy Club, September 9th. Newtown Theater, September 16th. And the Ridgefield Playhouse, September 29th.

Take care of yourselves. We'll talk to you on Thursday. Hooah! We'll talk to you on Thursday. Hi, this is Nick DiPaolo, host of the Nick DiPaolo Radio Show, where bullying is allowed and unpopular speech is very popular. And if you don't like it, you can kiss my grits. Oh, sorry for the strong language. That's the Nick DiPaolo Radio Program, Monday through Friday, 8 Eastern Time. The Nick DiPaolo Show.

Weekdays at 8 p.m. East. Hear it again at 3 a.m. East. And on Sunday at 3 a.m. and 7 p.m. East. On Sirius XM Faction Talk 103. Or listen when you want on demand. Online or on the app. The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. Oh, yeah. I made my choice.

Fucking radio. You know who made that choice for me? TV and movies. And how fucked up is this? I'm in like your old studio interviewing you this is nuts what you just can't ever tell what's going on or what's going to happen because yeah i'm sitting in the old studio i used to be in when you used to come in and now it's like fuck it doesn't and you look happier than me yeah you know come on folks anthony comey the fucking legend monday through thursday him and arty lang have a killer podcast uh four to six p.m go to compoundmedia.com and hit him up at uh anthony comey xyz that's when

you know you've been really blackballed on a social media scene you're gonna throw an xyz on the end of that dude i figured at three letters a clip, I could get thrown off of Twitter for a few more times and still just put three more letters. Because, yeah, by Anthony Kumeya, I got persona non grata. For what? Much like here at SiriusXM where they wouldn't let me upstairs. Jesus Christ.

I'm Mohammed Atta. I know. We could have got One of the fucking guys From 9-11 in here Is here I think he's doing The show over at Shade I think that's

Shade would be The studio next door Yes It looks like The Pistons locker room Is what I'm saying I'm sure they're good fellas But

Yeah a little hip hop A little hip hop going on I would love to wander in there And just go How do you guys feel About Men With A Hat That's one of my favorite albums, the group. So, yeah, you know, all night, for the last two nights,

we could have used you because it's been nothing about other than gun talk. It's all guns. I talked about you, you know, before we brought you up here, the last segment, going, Mark and Anthony knows all this shit. It's all about guns now, gun control. And then the news. And liberals, I'm sorry, it came out of my mouth immediately. Liberals, right?

But so what? They fucking don't educate themselves on anything that they seem to be so passionate about. At least know how a gun works before you want to ban it. Because all their arguments, whether it's guns, race, whatever, is emotion-based. It's all emotional. It's all emotion-based, so they're not going to know. They're not going to learn. Now, let me ask you a question.

Sure. Am I going to be able to get a bump stock with an X-Shot? I buy them all tonight. Let me tell you something. You will not get one in New York. You're not allowed to have one. First of all- What did I say to you?

You said, you said, yeah. You're not allowed, and you can't even buy a gun that a bump stock would go on in New York anymore. Are you fucking kidding? You're not allowed to buy an AR-15, AK-47, any semi-automatic rifle with a magazine that goes into it and a pistol grip. I can't get an AR-15? You cannot buy an AR-15 in the state of New York. Can I go to Pennsylvania and bring it into New York? Well, you could go to Pennsylvania.

The second you go to bring it into New York, that's it. If you had one before they passed this law, before Cuomo, at midnight, signed this law without any debate or anything, that no longer have assault weapons in New York State, unless you had one before then, that's it. When did he sign that? He signed it probably three years ago, four years ago, and that was it. All of a sudden, if you didn't have an AR-15, you were not going to get one

in New York State. And a bump stock, forget about that, although I'll give you a little secret. All you gotta do... I was gonna say, I know you know how to weld. I know you know how to weld. No, you don't even have to. Take your AR-15, right? You put your thumb through your side belt loop

on it. I'm not kidding. Now you grab the pistol grip of the AR and the trigger. Push as far forward as you can. The kick of the gun will make it hit your trigger finger every time it fires, which then makes it

seem like a full automatic. Your thumb in a belt loop is all you need for a bump stop. I wear suspenders, so I can't do that. You know, if Larry King wanted to wipe out a bunch of people, he too could suspend... Hello! Tom, I'm my front lawn!

How the fuck... Oh, it's amazing. How did you... Wait a minute. Did you come up with that? Somebody you read that? No, my dad showed me years ago. What the fuck's your dad, Rambo?

He was crazy with guns. He loved guns. But one thing he always taught us was like safety. But it was safety. Yeah, it sounds it. It was, yeah. Throw a pant loop. But it was safety.

Yeah. Yeah. He used to take a shotgun shell. You know how shotgun shells are? And put ricotta cheese in it. Hey, ricotta. Where's the ricotta, Tony? Hey, it's in the fucking shotgun shell, you son of a bitch!

Hey! He would take a shotgun shell and take a pocket knife and cut it right above the brass. Now, usually when you fire a shotgun shell, a bunch of pellets come out and a little piece of wadding comes out and whatnot, but this one, you now shot it because you cut it around the brass.

This entire lead ball encased in the shotgun shell plastic would fly out of the barrel like a howitzer. Your old man came up? Oh, yeah. He's like, yeah, check this out. It's great. We call it a hot load or some shit. I don't know. Hot load. Hey, Dad.

Yeah. The only hot load you want to be taking. Yeah, so he showed me a bunch of stuff, but yeah, that kind of way to make a semi-automatic seem like an automatic. And that's what this asshole fucked it in Vegas. That's what he did. He tricked it out. He had every gun he had was legally purchased. Right.

He passed the background check. There was nothing in his background. So all this, we need this and that, and that wouldn't have stopped unless you deny free Americans their right to bear arms. This will happen. It's part of the freedoms that we have. And unfortunately, people are free to be fucking murderers. Sometimes it's terrible. But when we get compared to other nations, it's like, well, this doesn't happen here. Well, they don't have the fucking freedoms we have here.

First of all, no. And half the countries they're talking about have one-tenth the population. And they have different demographics, if you know what I'm saying. Exactly. And how come we have something like this happen and all of a sudden they just want to legislate and take everything away from legal, law-abiding citizens? Yet in England, when we compare it to England all the time. But remember what the mayor said about terrorism?

Well, it's part and parcel of living in a community. Well, it's part and parcel of living in a free society where everyone is entitled to protect themselves with the best tool available, a gun. There's going to be fucking maniacs that do this shit. I'm sorry, but... That's not going to keep me from going to ball games. Right, exactly. Don't give a shit. I'm going to fucking Yan's not going to keep me from going to ball games. Right, exactly. Don't give a shit.

I'm going fucking Yankee Sunday. Why wouldn't you? Right? It's crazy. I love it. I love it sprayed, though. Oh, my God. Or some drone

fucking flies over and drops some C4 in my section. Just some asshole in a Red Sox hat. And it's called me as a Yankee fan. Ping, ping.

Dude, I was ping, pow. I was thinking the other day, because, you know, OJ got out of prison. Yes. And he stayed in Vegas. Like, he woke up. Oh, I didn't know that. He woke up the next morning after this.

What, did he go to the fuck in the MGM Grand to play craps? He can't take the you know what out of the you know what. Yeah, no shit. So he had this problem. Of course, we all know He spent nine years in prison He gets out And then he woke up And his lawyer calls him

He goes, what's happening on the news? What's all this? It's like, yeah, some guy shot a bunch of people But imagine the irony If OJ was walking around His first night out of prison And this fuck shot him in the head People would have to label it bittersweet.

I really think... That would prove there is a God. Right. So that's why this prick will be alive until he's 150 this year. No shit. Fucking OJ. Let's go to our buddy Leonard in Georgia.

Oh, Leonard. You know Leonard? No, I know George. Leonard, want to hear a Southern accent? Leonard, he wants to say hi to you. He knows you. All right. Go ahead, Leonard. You know Leonard? No, I know George. Leonard, want to hear a Southern accent? Leonard, he wants to say hi to you. He knows you. Go ahead, Leonard. Say hi to Anthony. What do you say, Ant? I miss you on the radio, brother. I really do.

Hey, Nick. How are you doing this evening? Good. Thank you, Leonard. Where's Sheriff Branford? I'll say one thing, Ant. I wanted to ask you. I don't know if you remember. Years ago, you took thousands of calls. But I called up, and I actually found and got my neighbor's father in trouble

when I found a dead body in the freezer. Wow, you were that guy. I actually do remember this because it was kind of a weird story. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. Yeah, that was me. I had that work out for you. You don't sound like a weird story. Yeah, yeah. I remember that. That was me. I had that work out for you. You don't sound like a Gambino.

Well, you know, it was Clearwater, Florida. Here they are. That is quite a psychopathic little area. Yeah. Anyway, Nick, both of y'all were all talking about guns and whatnot, but I just wanted to say hi to Anna. I've been a big fan. I want to say one thing, though.

Honestly, you on the radio, on your show, you really were someone who, how can I say this that makes sense? No, you were someone that made me really, really see, you know, all the fake news and whatnot. You were calling that years and years ago you was calling bullshit and it got me thrown off the fucking radio that's how that's what good that did me i should have kept my mouth shut smiled and said diversity is our greatest strength no you really you really uh enlightened me on that. And also, the thing you ruined for me was Terrestrial Radio, because when you used to do that bit about where the morning zoo cruise all across the city. Jocktober.

Which, by the way, it is October, and we should do Jocktober over at Combat Media. It's all the hacky friggin' morning shows where they got the guy, the professional jock, the woman who we always called the hole. Because not only is she a girl with a hole, she's just a hole for comedy. A black hole of nothingness. Well, that's not nice

to call a girl. First of all, they have two holes. She's selling her short. Well, even more if you really want to, you know. Oh, three? What am I saying?

Oh, this girl, she broke her jaw. I wasn't even... She had a wide... She had a wide shut-in. Greatest six months of my life. You could actually watch a TV show.

Thank you for the call. There goes Leonard. Thank you, sir. Appreciate it. He's bounding down, booted up, and trucking. Goodness gracious. Colin has a question for Ant. A story that you might know. Go ahead, Colin.

Hey, it's Joe Mattarese. Let me roast you for 50 bucks, Antony, please. What the fuck? Tell me how you're so. It's Joe Mattarese. Obviously, he's got an issue with Joe Mattarese. Actually, it is Joe Mattarese. Oh, wow.

Hey, Joe, how you doing? How you doing, Joe? Let me roast you for 50 Mattarese. Actually, it is Joe Mattarese. Oh, wow. Hey, Joe. How you doing? How you doing, Joe? Let me roast you for 50 bucks, please. I think this guy called my show once as Joe Mattarese, too. It's pretty good. Yeah, he just... Pretty good. Joe Mattarese. When you do impressions, though, don't you have to do people people know? Yeah.

Well, Mattarese is big in the North Shell area. I love Joe. All right. Thank you, Colin. That was a beauty. There he is. I love it. You know what? We got to get Matt Reese back. He's a good family guy.

He's such a nice guy. He is. And you know, he's funny. I used to bring him on my podcast. Yeah. I'm ranting and raving about race and shit. And he goes, my wife and I bought a couch. Yeah, he is.

I hope there was a dead black or white guy under the couch to make this story interesting. He's just a nice guy. He's a great guy. He's a funny fucking dude. He's been on medication for quite a while. A little medication. He made the mistake once of wanting to do a live show at the Village Underground and record it as his podcast live. But the guests were myself,

Jim Norton, and Artie Lang. And it got so out of control, and he was the punching bag of the night. And he got done, he's like, well, it was a terrible idea. Why did I do that? I wasted film and time and money. Yeah, so that's been kind of the thing

that people, like, I want to roast. Well, he asked me to do, when he first started the pod, kind of the thing that people, like, I want to roast. Well, he'll roast you. He asked me to do. When he first started the pod, he was going to do one of his first live podcasts. We would do it down in some small room. I think it was at Gotham downstairs. And he calls me like the night before, no tickets sold. Oh, shit. I said, well, that's a lot for both of us, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah. Welcome. Welcome aboard. Oh, I can't stand this fucking business. I like this, but honest to God. Yeah. You know, I've always loved this. I gotcha.

I know. I do. People go, do you go do sets after your show? No. I do two hours by myself trying to be funny off the top of my head, and it scratches that comedy itch for me. That's what you need. You might not see me.

I'll still show up, folks. Don't get me wrong. If I can fill a theater and I You might not see me. I'm going to, I'll still show up, folks. Don't get me wrong. If I can fill a theater and I can pick up a check, I'm going to show up. But I'm not, don't look for me to be doing polished bits anymore

that I've got to go to a one-hour special. I will show up and fucking insult every little cocksucker in the audience and their fat girlfriends and, you know,

we'll have fun. But there's nothing more fun than sitting at a table watching Nick and planting your elbow on the table and then planting your face into your hand. And just going, holy shit, he just said that. It's fantastic. Anthony has been at Governor's many times.

Oh, I love it. And the brokerage and just fucking sitting there. And I'm playing to him. I don't even know if there's anybody else in the room. I'm playing to Anthony. Meanwhile, people are filing if there's anybody else in the room. I'm playing to Anthony. Meanwhile, people are filing out their back. Well, it's Long Island, so you've got a lot of people commiserating with you on Long Island. Yes, that is true.

It's part of how I am for now is growing up on Long Island. Let's go to JT in Florida. He owns 28 guns, and he has some insight on this shit. So you and JT have Florida. He owns 28 guns, and he has some insight on this shit. Okay. So you and JT have 120 guns less than Anthony. There's cut shells, which you're thinking about, Anthony. Cut shells, a shotgun shell where you cut it. Yeah.

I live, I actually live in South Georgia, but I lived in Florida for a while. I have three AKs, six ARs, and those, I'm not kidding. And I have every Wonder 9 you can think of. But I don't have a bump stock, and I don't have one of those damn Surefire 100-round magazines because they're not worth a shit. They jam up before you get as many around. You can't get 30 rounds out of them before they jam. So you might as well

just have a 30 round mag. They're terrible magazines. I think a lot of ghetto trash. Yeah. Put your thumb in your belt loop and then let her rip. In New York you literally are allowed 10 rounds now and it looks so castrated.

You have your rifle. You have your rifle. You slap a magazine in, and you know the big banana clips that you usually see a magazine in? It's not a magazine. It's a brochure. It is. You can barely see it.

It's in there just going, oh, good. They've frigging emasculated the guns now, too. Like the people, the men, the guns. What's that? Can I talk about that? What's that? 50 pounds of it. 50 pounds of Tannerite. Oh, Tannerite's hilarious. The hillbillies love it. What the hell's that? Did I tell you about that? What's that? 50 pounds of it. 50 pounds of Tannerite.

Oh, Tannerite's hilarious. The hillbillies love it. What the hell is that? People down in Georgia. Hey, I'm a hillbilly. I know. I'm not. I wasn't meant to offensively, my friend.

Tannerite's hilarious. It's explosives. And it goes off when you shoot it. So they'll put it on stuff and get away and shoot it and laugh their balls off. The funniest Tannerite I ever saw was a shitload of it in a field where they put food down so pigs would go up and eat. And then they shot the Tannerite. You see pigs flying through the air. And then a bunch of guys just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. God damn.

Just laughing their balls off. That's why I feel safe. Yes. Seriously. There's nothing wrong feel safe. Yes. Seriously. There's nothing wrong with that. You're not going to have any no-go zones in fucking Georgia. Exactly. See what I'm saying?

No safe places, spaces, no guns allowed zones. You might get hit with a piece of pork shoulder. Yes. A piece of pig might hit you, whether you're on a date or... Thanks for the call, JT. There it is. There it is. There's the hogs flying through the air. Rewind that. Rewind that. the call, JT. There it is. There it is. There's the hogs flying through the air.

Rewind that. Rewind that. They shot it with Tannerite. There it is. Oh, my God. And it's legal. Tannerite's legal. Isn't that crazy?

I thought the pigs ate the Tannerite, then you shot the pigs. That would be great. I think that's even better. I want to see some guy do that. Obviously, it was Tannerite in the World Trade Center. I know. I'm off the grid. I was a fighter, a governor, the salesman for my pillow.

Oh, I fucking love Jesse. Jesse's out of his mind now. He does a podcast, Jesse Ventura, and he's like constantly, I'm off the grid. Don't tell anyone as I broadcast to millions. Don't tell, I'm off the grid. I live in Mexico six months out of the year. It's hilarious. And his conspiracies and everything.

And before I forget How's it going with Art? That's right, now Nick, you worked with Artie Well, I have to have a battle scar on purpose I got track marks on my forearms You get sympathy track marks Like when guys get sympathy pains When their pregnant wife has got cravings

You get sympathy track marks Now, how is I'm very busy. Artie is, first of all, first and foremost for my show, is fucking hilarious. The guy is so goddamn funny. There's no arguing that. He's so funny. He's a brilliant guy.

He's a nice guy. He's just like... You see him and you just know there's something bugging him about himself and stuff. He's great to do the show with. I see him right you just know there's something bugging him about himself and stuff. But he's great to do the show with. I see him right when the show starts. He disappears right when the show stops.

And that's my life with Artie. I've been out a couple of times with him at Comedy Cellar and whatnot. And look, it's no secret. The guy's got his issues. But he's an amazing talent. Tell the people the name of the show. Artie and Anthony, the AA show, which makes perfect sense. The AA show.

Yeah, well, if you can't beat them, mock them. Let me ask you, as far as politics, because I know Artie, he's not like you and I. No, he's not. He's a Jersey kind of a union, pro-union. Knock around, Jersey, funny jokes, stuff like that. Not too serious. But he's not. But my point is, he's not really like right wing that like people would think he's a blue

collar. No. You know, he's kind of that Jersey union. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. Not a left winger, but. No, no, not at all.

But if you're comparing it to us. Well, no. You know. But no, so I don't get into as many political rants as I did, which some people have found refreshing. They were getting a little mad at me that I fucking discuss shit. Oh, I know. Too much on race.

Yeah. But I have other outlets. I do InfoWars over on, I do an hour on Thursdays on InfoWars. I take over Alex on that, which is hilarious. Now, what's your relationship with him? Do you know him personally? He's amazingly funny. Now, really,

more business than personal. I would love to hang out with him. He seems hilarious. How did you find each other, though? He kind of just liked what I was doing and liked the whole free speech angle. Which he should. I was a guest on his show a couple of times. And then he's like, you want to come on and do my show for me? An hour.

Just talk about globalists. Talk about fluoride in the water being terrible. Contrails have airplanes. How the globalists are using the Jew and the black man to undermine God-fearing American white people. And I'm like, I think I could do that. So that's pretty much it, though. He's a pretty brilliant guy.

False flag operation, obviously, like the gutful Tonkin back in the Vietnam War, when we were dragged into that debacle by the globalists. And I'm like, this is fucking awesome. I saw him. I watch YouTube clips of him. He'll go down to some rally with his bunch of libs and get in their face. He gets involved, which is weird. Guys want to get physical with him and shit.

I got to fucking love that, man. People are trying to get him to say things that he might have said a few years ago. Yeah, exactly. And he'll turn around and say something like, you know, they're putting chemicals in water. They're turning the frogs gay. And you're like, that is fucking hilarious. He's talking about frogs being turned gay by the water what do you think that does to your kids people wow this guy's fucking gone i love it yeah make some beat up frogs yeah yeah yeah that's my kids my six-year-old frog is gender fluid and i believe i'm going with that i had owen um uh owen on the show

today uh uh fuck now look oh and brain freeze owen benjamin owen wilson yeah no it was own benjamin yes own benjamin owen wilson no own benjamin who's on benjamin own benjamin that out that's right it really is oh yeah that's right but he got in trouble they they removed him from the bill he was supposed to play at yConn and do a show. He was a comic. Right wing. And he said, imagine the outrage at someone saying this, that a three-year-old child should probably not be given steroids and hormones if they want to change their sexuality at three.

And perhaps that's a form of child abuse. and that perhaps that's a form of child abuse. And, oh, they lost their, the left, and you're transphobic. Really? You know what? Believe it. Yeah, and the left's reaction to something like that causes transphobia and homophobia.

Of course it does. You understand? You're cutting your own throats. You're turning guys like me, who aren't homophobic at all, it's like you're an asshole. You made a face. No.

No, seriously, you're a fucking asshole. It's true. You're a fucking asshole. You're a liberal fascist. So he got a letter from UConn that said, you know, we're not going to, people don't appreciate. It's like he gave an opinion. There you go. By the way, 99 99.9 of sane fucking

people would agree with right you don't because you're literally sterilizing a child is what you're doing at three because one day they want to be a fireman the next day they want to be an astronaut the next day they want to be a woman and you run with the woman thing as a parent no exactly buy him a space suit what we only get like a minute left But what is this agenda With protecting LGBT It's stronger than anything else out there They make up about 8% of the total population

At most I don't understand whose agenda it is And why they're so protected It's to break down every single thing That has made this country What it is And what it is. I agree. And what it's all about, what it's supposed to be about.

Break that down. Rip the families apart. The perps are the victims now. The cops are the criminals. Like, rip it all apart. No, you're absolutely right. And that's where we are. So three-year-olds are supposed to now get sex change.

Christ's sake. Everybody knows you're way above the five or six. If I was here any longer, Nick, we'd both be banging our heads against the fucking wall. If you were here any longer, I won't be able to get in the building tomorrow. To my own show. That's the fucking legend, Anthony Cooney. Thanks to all the callers tonight. Tomorrow night, Keith Robinson, my one black friend who's still alive,

will bust his chops. Listen to Art and Anthony Thursday, 4 to 6. Go to CompoundMedia.com. Monday through Thursday, yes. Monday through Thursday, I'm sorry. 4 to 6, CompoundMedia.com. And hit Anthony up. Anthony Comia XYZ on Twitter.

Thanks. All right. We'll talk to you guys later. Wash those filthy asses. guitar solo Hi, this is Nick DiPaolo, host of the Nick DiPaolo Radio Show, where bullying is allowed and unpopular speech is very popular. And if you don't like it, you can kiss my grits. Ooh, sorry for the strong language. That's the Nick DiPaolo Radio Program, Monday through Friday, 8 Eastern Time.

The Nick DiPaolo Show. Weekdays at 8 p.m. East. Hear it again at 3 a.m. East. And on Sunday at 3 a.m. and 7 p.m. East. On Sirius XM Faction Talk 103. Or listen when you want on demand. Online or on the app.