The Nick DiPaolo Show - 219 - Transgender Wrestler

Episode Date: February 27, 2018

Transgender Wrestler

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen. How are you? It's a fucking Monday. 866-969-1969. 866-969-1969 is the phone number. It's a Monday. Boy, that weekend went fast. You know, we do what?

Four nights of radio, then I did two nights of comedy. That's considered work in show business, folks. You're probably laughing out there going, ooh. But I put a good 11 minutes of prep into this show,

so don't bust my chops. Not true a lot more than that. Thank you to people that came out, the governors. Killer. Friday night, one show. That was almost sold out. I want to look into the bonus paperwork to see how I didn't make...

The second Saturday night, no doubt about, both of them fell to the gill. And they were they were great they just they fucking like it mean down there they like it fast they like it hard same way fiori likes his pasta what um so yeah it was killer thank you guys for making the effort you gotta remember people shower wash their asses put on a coat you know i mean they get up i. I don't, to this day. To this day, I stand outside and see people in line going, what? Not me. I lay on my couch and watch a Great White Shark documentary on Nat Geo before I go see myself.

But, yeah, it was a great turnout. James, the guy that runs it funny as hell i mean he he's dressed like he's working the door at the copa in 1958 and he's just funny as hell how there's not a show based on him and that place is uh beyond me but the place is packed and only one dumb bitch on her cell phone fucking ruining it giving me the finger as she's talking. And her friend goes, her mother has Alzheimer's. And I'm like, yeah, so does my dad. Am I on my fucking phone? My phone's right next to me on the table.

Well, do you love your dad? That's what she says. I go, what do I have to do? Dial him right now to prove I love my dad? I go, if I do, he's not going to recognize the number anyways. See, I got out of the nice tent situation with a nice laugh. That's called being a fucking comedian. Nice applause break and then i shit all over her but i'm sure she meant well giving me the bird while she's on the phone welcome to america honest to god

fucking anyways gene everett thank you so much for what contributing to the nick dipalo podcast if you want to go to subscribe to the nick dipalo podcast go to connectpal.com slash nick connectpal.com slash nick 399 a month five shows a week and uh on monday you get it free on riotcast stitcher itunes and uh brendan and the boys did do a beautiful job boiling down two hours into an hour and uh people can contribute on top of that, which they do. Gene Everett's been a regular for a long time. Actually got to meet him in Yonkers. He sold me some weed.

What? You don't do weed. Anyways. I'll be at Uncle Vinny's this Saturday night. That's in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. And then the following weekend, March 9 and 10, the side split is Tampa, Florida. And then March 16th, the Nick is Right Tour kicks off at the Clayton Opera House in Clayton, New York

and continues the next night, March 17th, at the Wood Theater in Glen Falls, New York. Go to nickdip.com for full tour dates and ticket info andy fiori will be opening for me so it's gonna it's a it's a great show folks come on out and uh we'll shit all over hillary and uh anybody who fucking votes like her looks like her smells like her how about that um before we get into the stuff what else happened oh my i got a funny email from my agent at don buckwall and associates super agent tony burton sends me somebody sent him an email a 19 uh 1973 Playboy,

Centifal playmate, Jerry Glass, said, Nick's so funny and so cute. Again, she's in her late hundreds now, but I'll still take it. So Google Jerry Glass. I said to Fiore,

Jerry Glass, it sounds like a third baseman for the Indians in the 50s. Remember? Jerry Glass, Tinkers to Evers to Glass. Combination. That was that dangerous combination. But thank you, Jerry Glass.

And that was very nice. That's the one. Yeah. Andy's looking at a picture now. Nice. Andy had his shirt up like that too It was tanked up Had the same

Anyways that was very nice She's like from Arizona and stuff And we get a kick out of that So my agent spots my ball I wonder what she looks like now I go hey When I had the Nick and Artie show a few years ago We had a girl named Allison Wait in there

Who was a center Okay She gave us headphones She looks like she could be like mia farrow's sister or something right yes kind of an irish all right come on huh fiori focus fiori now has his pants down his ankles and not because he's horny he's just looking for some breadsticks he dropped what the fucking... What else happened over the weekend?

Oh, I'm about to go on stage at Governor's. I think it was second show, Saturday night. My wife texts me a picture of vomit on the floor, blood with chunks of black in it. My dog. Are you up to your time? You're like, oh, what big fucking deal? Well, it's 14 years old.

We don't have kids. And no, I don't put dogs and kids so I don't get all fucking in the same category. But you know, you get a little attached to these things.

She's 14. She can't see for shit. I'm teasing her all the time. I'm holding up an orange and going, ah, luring it off the couch. Ah,

she falls off the couch. So, look at tennis. Ah, she falls, but, yeah, she throws up stomach was filled with blood my luckily my wife was home if i'm home that dog's already buried you know i don't want to have my feet up watching the bro and saying you know what is that in the kitchen i would have just oh somebody spilled some cheese strawberry cheesecake i. I'll get it later. But she fucking, you know, the wife,

she remembers it's a, uh, 24 hour vet, whatever. And, and they, they do an MRI. Her stomach's filled with blood in her intestines and stuff. So they still don't know,

but they, you know, they pumped her out and, and she, she's fine. They thought for a week that we were going to, she was going to make it stay over one night. They charged me like she stayed at the fucking Four Seasons for a month and a half.

Jesus Christ. I'm glad I didn't know the price while that was happening. I would have went, I don't know. Is there a dumpster behind your hospital? No, I love the little shit. But Jesus, you should have seen the blood look like sharon tate's living room i mean what the what's going on out there mike i don't think i got shot all right jason york shit carry it mike that's why i live till i'm seven that's why

carrie kravitz is funny i in the green room she goes i'm telling her about that she goes well they how old is the dog go 14 she goes they usually live to this 16 to 17 then she looked if she goes in a loving home which was fucking mean because i just found out i was a little upset that was a body punch that that's the shit that makes me laugh like amy schumer said something mean to me on that set i was telling about how i got you know made my my process she goes i gotta take this. And I'm talking about my dad and stuff. She pulled a fucking

Hollywood... So... So that happened. So the dog's fine now. They don't know. How about it eat stink bugs? You know what a stink bug is? Yeah, my parents got them all over their house. Oh, I thought all of your parents. That was gross. I tell them to fucking wash their filthy asses um stink bugs i'd never

heard of them those squared did you know what they are brandon i'd never my wife's like that's a stink bug looks like it's carrying a mailbox a little square thing and my wife says well if you crush it they smell weird i don't i don't smell anything to this day but my dog always finds it on the floor and i gotta believe whatever make that whatever by the way those came from like japan or some other some you know so who knows what what what's in that she eats them like they're m&ms so i think that caused the bleeding either that or me hitting her repeatedly in the belly with my hockey stick. So it's, you know, we can't figure out which one.

And there's a time I rolled off the couch and I landed on her with my elbow. I was like a pro wrestler doing a fucking. And she shot out. We gave her a couple of white cast sliders that night and they flew out of her mouth. So maybe it's her diet. She's eating stink bugs no wonder why she's bleeding from her ass that can't be good that was my guess but she goes outside and you know you let the dog out and i used to shit while we could watch it now it goes

down behind a tool shed it's probably gnawing on a dead pigeon or something you know then the dog comes in you kiss it on the mouth i'll be bleeding from my ass in about a week. They'll be rushing me to that same hospital. Not a real hospital. I'm like, it's cheaper. Bring me to the dog hospital. My wife's like, what's the matter? What was wrong with him?

Well, he had like three stink bugs in his trachea. A piece of stromboli, two stink bugs bugs and some deodorant speech stick oh there's adam schiff look at that little weasley fucking left wing jerk up look at him look at him with his charles groden face please i would love to hear that his air bag went off and crushed his head. Excuse me. 866-969-1969. I haven't got to anything yet. Excuse me.

Cigarettes. Fucking smoking like a tell did when he was in high school. I'm going to have the fucking voice of Bea Arthur in about another month, I'd say. So the dog threw up blood but she's fine it was good it was like a rehearsal for when she does die right all panicking and shit my wife says i have to bury her i'm gonna get a problem with that where's the shovels like i never buried anything before where? Where's the lime? Good fellas. I know.

Why are you looking at me like a fucking, like you were Marsha Brady? You had no idea what I was talking about. We got about three or four in our backyard. Do you? My dad. Do you? That's a real Gindelung thing too, isn't it? We buried a German shepherd in our tomato garden.

That's a true story. Schultzy. My old man. He's an old Gind's an old The dog comes down I remember I'm like 14 The dog comes down The driveway

Bleeding from it's ass Ironically Like this droid And no Like no circulation In her legs She was like collapsing And shit

So me and my dad Picked it up And put it in the Trunk of the car And my dad's like Fucking laughing about it Fucking Jimmy Conway Come on bucko My dad's like fucking laughing about it. Fucking Jimmy Conway.

Come on, bucko. So the dog is fine. I want to get a dog like my sister has. It looks like a mop. It's got that long hair. No, but this thing rolls around in the dirt. It's not a fancy dog. It's a dog's dog.

It fucking rolls around in the dirt and it loves it. And loves people i don't know what kind of dog i've asked my sister eight times i still can't remember it's a ballsy dog it's like a alpha male dog but it loves people and shit what are you looking at mops if you're like an afghan or a lot lots of no not, not quite that bad. Holy shit. Those are Bergamasco shepherds. I don't know. I think we're boring people. It's not going to sound like the rest of the show. If I don't come out punching Hillary in the face, we might lose listeners.

866-969-1969. And I got rid of a DirecTV. And we had Verizon put in, which we have had before. And I didn't realize how much better the picture is with Verizon files and whatever. So I'm all excited, right? I'm like, look at this. Look at the pictures. It's fucking tremendous.

And then I put a Bruins game on the second night. And any time there's any camera pans left, right, real fast, the plays get get all blurry to the point where i almost had to take a fucking what do you take to keep something getting sick nothing i can never dream of me thank you if you already looks at me back at me with those i could say valium because you're getting too excited no yeah no because that would get me worked up and yeah okay the i go well i'm imagining this even my wife's like, what the fuck? But you got to give it to Verizon. Called them.

No, I didn't. The guy came out today. Was there for like a couple hours. Replaced the guts to the box that he put in that's hanging on my wall downstairs in a closet. Went outside and replaced everything they did a couple days ago just to make sure enough, man. Good as new. What kind of show is this? They went from dog poop to fucking hockey shadows.

I'm watching. You've been watching too much Monsters. I've been watching the Monsters. You want a belly laugh? Fred Gwynn, that might be the most genius work ever. I like my car 54. Oh, my God. How fucking old are you?

Car 54. I used to watch them as a kid. I know. They're doing a remake. It's an Uber thing now. It's car rape. Look at Cooper Anderson. Yes, I know that's wrong, but I say it anyway.

Look at him with this fake serious look on his face. I like to slap those Janine Garofalo glasses right off his choppers. You would too? I saw her Saturday. Where? Eastville Comedy Club, downtown. Oh, that place. Anyways.

Let's go to Eric in Long Island. He was at one of the shows. Hey, Eric. Nick. Nick. Love you, man. You're the best. Thank you, man.

What show did you go to, Eric? I went to the Saturday show, the late show. Oh, yeah. And the fucking crowd was awful. No, they weren't. I mean, well. Awful. You guys are so spoiled.

I don't know if you're used to watching hacks kill or whatever. If that was considered awful, I don't know what you mean by awful. No, no, the crowd was awful. You were fucking tremendous. No, but what do you mean by the crowd was awful? I was hearing laughs. I mean, what are you used to hearing? Well, how about the woman on the right in front of you?

Okay, your phone's cutting out, Eric. Ironically. Is it really? Oh, go ahead. Son of a bitch. No, okay, yeah, the woman on the phone. That's not the whole crowd as a whole. She was awful.

You've got to be careful. You call up and you go, the crowd was awful, and everybody listening goes, what, he must have bombed. No, no, absolutely not. No, you call up and you go, the crowd was awful, and everybody listening goes, what, he must have bombed. No, no, absolutely not. No, you were fucking tremendous. But the guy behind me, too, it was, you know, Chaco Brouquet behind me, you know, happening up. I told him, yeah, you know, I'm trying to listen to my favorite comic. And yeah, there was a lot of yapping behind me. Was there really?

Yeah, yeah. But you were great, man. I hope you don't get sick drinking from that Malo you tried there. Oh, yeah. That was Cary Kravitz's brother up front was drinking wine. Yeah, she was great, too, by the way. Yeah. Yeah, I got to say, a lot of women comics do it for me, but she was actually good.

Anyway, I love you, man. Thank you, Eric. I appreciate you making the effort, brother, and come out next time. You're the best, man. You got it. Hey, can you play some more Bad News Baz quotes on the show? Bad News Baz quotes? Yeah, yeah, you know, a couple of quotes in the Bad News.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get to those All right Love you, man See you All right, I'll see you soon, Nick Take care I fucking murdered all three shows

Murdered Beginning to And I don't say that often I was in a group They were letting me smoke on stage Had a few in me That's good, Nick Yeah

I know Yeah, it was A great day trip, man. But you never know, like with audience members, you know, they're so used to seeing like hacks, murder. Yeah. But they call him and go, yeah, that crowd was awful. What do you mean it was fucking awful? Fucking murdered.

Took the thousand pictures after the show. Couldn't have been that awful. Let's go to Kevin in Minnesota. Kev, what's going on? Nick, got a problem with the replays again. Yeah, well, don't call me. Call the fucking tech service. I don't do that shit.

What the hell do you expect me to do here? I just told you, dummy. I know I'm dumb, but... Jesus. What's the problem? What's the problem, Kevin? Everybody else can figure it out. I start at 7 o'clock Central Time, Friday night.

Drinking? No, driving a 240-ton taconite truck. Oh, a taconite truck. Oh, a taconite truck. Those aren't good with the SiriusXM app. They collide. Oh, horseshit. That's the live show.

That's not a replay. Yeah, what time are you? That's a live show. What are you talking about? No, I understand the replays, but I got Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, 12 hours all night, and I hear nothing but skateboard talk and WWF and blah, blah, blah, blah. And what do you think? I heard you twice in 36 hours.

That's all I'm saying. Is that Trophy Art? Yeah, we have our replay. Are everybody else getting more? Saturday night at 3 a.m., Saturday night at 3 a.m., and then again on Sunday at 7 p.m. There you go.

They're burying the conservative message again. Why don't you step up if you know that? Or tell me. Yeah. Well, you've got to tell me that. How am I going to complain if I don't know? What the hell is Tully? What the hell are these other programs on your station?

I didn't know that, but I'll be on the phone with Jack Vaughn tomorrow. I'm serious. Yeah, do something. All the other guys are listening to you, too, live every night when we're working day shifts. Right. All right, Kev. We'll put a word in. It's upsetting, that's all. I've been a subscriber for 13 years for Christ's sake. All right, Kev. We'll put a word in. It's upsetting, that's all.

I've been a subscriber for 13 years for Christ's sake. All right, Kev. I'll tell the bosses. The whole goddamn station. All right, Kevin. I'll tell the boss. Thanks, buddy. Thanks.

Take care out. All right. Is that true, though? 3 a.m.? That's our schedule for the weekend. Do you ever ask anybody why? I mean They're filled with other shows' programmings

What kind of shows? The other shows on our channel Oh, so everybody else is getting What, four or five replay? I don't think it's that many Why are they burying us? I'll fucking, seriously I'll fucking call Jack Vaughn tonight

Yeah, it's 3 a.m. here It's midnight Okay, you know what? I'll stop coming in, I'll fucking call Jack Vaughn tonight. Yeah, it's 3 a.m. here. It's midnight. Okay, you know what? I'll stop coming in late and being unprofessional and shit. How about that? Whoever. Whoever I'm supposed to talk to. Okay, I'll fucking whatever.

Yeah, I'll for it. Why are we going against the grain of globalism? Is it what's happening to me on Twitter and every other person who leans right into politics? You're fucking hiding it? Fucking makes me sick. I'll fucking mail it in every night. That's how you're fucking going to treat us. Whoops, got here at 8.15.

Now I'm fucking fuming. Take it easy, Nick. Count to 3,007. Let's go to Ann Marie in Long Island, obnoxious girl from your Long Island show. Hi, Ann-Marie. How are you? Hey, Nick.

So I want to thank you for ruining my birthday. Wait a minute. Your 50th birthday? Yeah. Is that you? I'm only busting your balls. I had the best time of your show, which I felt so bad for you.

And I can't believe how rude people are with their damn phones. You can't believe that? What planet are you living on that you can't believe people at a comedy club in fucking Long Island were fucking rude? All right, all right, all right. But now, wait a second. I cannot believe you just said you took a thousand photos and I couldn't get one photo. They wouldn't let me find you. They told me you didn't come out and talk to anybody.

No, I didn't. I could. Not that show. I did later. I could. Not that show. I did later. I had to get paid. I had to get paid. I was in, I was. I was in fucking the office getting paid and I came out and a lot of people left but I still took fucking over the weekend. I must have taken

a hundred photos. I'm so sad. I can't tell you. I listen to you every night. I enjoyed this show so much. When you talked about the living will, I was sitting there. You were looking right at me. And I was shaking my head. I'm going, I knew just what you were talking about. Because I just went through that with my mom.

Were you the one having the birthday? No, I really wasn't. I was the table over with the other four rude girls. The girl who had a back to you the whole time. I was stunned. Like, I'm thinking, how do you go to a comedy show

and not look at the person who's talking? Because she's a closed-minded twat, that's why, and fucking, she should stay the fuck home and watch a cooking show. I absolutely was stunned by the audience. Some of those people, I just went,

I couldn't believe it. I was like, oh my God god most of them were fine i am marie i gotta go to break but i'm glad you came out and uh thank you sarah see you again maybe tarry town i'm gonna try and go yes bring a bunch of people and i'll promise you i'll promise you a picture there thank you all right am care. All right. Thanks a lot. Bye-bye. Take it easy. What? Long Island, Anne-Marie. Anne-Marie.

I was at table two busting your balls. I was going to say come to Tarrytown. One more quick one before we go to break. John in New York is requesting more Nick replays. Johnny? Hey, Nick. How are you doing? Pretty good Good

Yeah every time On the weekend Like I drive too I'm from Canada Originally but They always got That fucking Craig Burgers

In on Yeah well You know what Like I said The worst show On radio Sounds like I'm not gonna

Comment on other shows But I'm just gonna I'm just saying I know what I'm doing here And other people Aren't fucking doing it And if they don't Appreciate it Fucking fine Yeah cause he keeps Going he's the number Two show on other shows, but I'm just saying I know what I'm doing here, and other people aren't fucking doing it, and if they don't appreciate it,

fucking fine. Yeah, because he keeps going, he's the number two show on Sirius, and I'm going, yeah, right. Yeah, right is right. Number two what? Yeah, the number two show on Sirius. Yeah, number two, as in Poopoo, you mean? Yeah, right. I get it.

Alright, John, well, Calva, you guys have to, you know, you have to call the station and say, what are you doing? Oh, I don't know if I'm it. All right, John. Well, you guys have to call the station and say, what are you doing? Oh, I don't know if I'm calling. Twitter, social media? Yeah, social media. You know, pulling Antifa on them. Say, well, burn down your fucking house. You don't give this guy another spot.

Yeah, exactly. Like 3 a.m. in the morning. What the fuck's that all about? I don't know. 3 a.m. in the morning. Exactly. What does that tell you? All right, John.

Duly noted. Duly noted. The other panels, they're always promoting different. You never hear your show being promoted. Yeah, that's been my life story. Now, I don't know if I'm supposed to market myself or whatever. I'm serious. I'll get on the fucking phone with Wicklund tomorrow. God damn it. All right, John. Thank you.

All right. Take it easy. All right. Bye. Let's take a break i was going to talk about supreme court by the way uh but but by the way um tomorrow night bonnie mcfarland otherwise known you know rich rich and bonnie had a show on the syria and bonnie's funny i don't say it as much funny broad but i'll let him in she's done all the shit great writer her politics are retarded she's fucking it and liberal and land just make makes no sense and fucking i'm glad voss is there to balance her but she's she's great she's come out we used to have the cookouts up at the house and i'd have to make her a veggie burger. It would fall through the slats in the grill. I'd laugh.

I'm going to cook in seaweed and rice patties. Yuck. Anyways, she'll be on. She's great. She's very frigging funny. So that is that. We'll come back. We can talk about this big Supreme Court declines to take up Dreamers.

Everybody knew it was coming, apparently. I'm so tired of this shit. And we got a transgender wrestler who was a girl who is now a boy. He fucking won his second state title by beating the same girl. You liberals will fucking confuse anything. So 866-969-1969. Now go do the wrong thing. You're listening to The Nick DiPaolo Show

on Faction Talk Sirius XM 103. Have you heard about the lonesome loser beaten by the queen of hearts every time Have you heard about the lonesome loser? He's a loser but he still keeps on trying Sit down Take a look at yourself Don't you want to be somebody Someday somebody's gonna see your side

You have to face up You can't run and hide Have you heard about the Lone Sleuther Beaten by the Queen of Hearts every time The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. Oh! Final segment on a Monday. 866-969-1969. See you at Uncle Vinny's, Point Pleasant, New Jersey, Saturday night.

Jerry and Dino run it. Couple of Irish kids. All right. Take it down. Brendan likes my taste in music tonight. He's rocking it over there. My dad had this on a mixtape when I was... Oh, you don't have to fucking ruin it.

Funny man. Fucking... I had your mom on my couch when I was playing this. Oh, Nick. I didn't have a couch. I had this thing I built out of 2-by-fours and spikes in my basement. I would lure women in with pictures of Brad Pitt. And then I'd hit them with a, well, it was a wiffle ball bat. It's a little spanking. That's kind of hashtag me too-ish.

Don't you love watching Whoopi Goldberg talking about sexual harassment and Joy Behar? Two experts on the subject. I think a pilgrim tried to finger Joy on the way over here and Whoopi, I have no idea. Fucking makes you wonder what Whoopie. I have no idea. Fucking.

Makes you wonder what, uh. What's his name? The fucking Cheers. The guy that used to bang. Dancing. Ted Dancing. Please explain that one to me, Ted. I know.

Ted, explain that to me. Ted, explain that one to me, Ted. I'm not, I'm dead serious. I would fuck my dog tonight before i'd have a date with ted dancing he got in trouble for showing up in blackface with her one time right yes he did i mean for christ's sake how much proof do you need that you're not racist i'm fucking whoopie goldberg jesus h not only am i not, I'm obviously not sexist. I'm a saint. Hallelujah.

866-969-1969. Transgender wrestler Mac Beggs. Is that a real name? It almost sounds like Mac Beggs to be a... Mac Beggs to have a... You know what I'm saying? Whose given name is Mackenzie. Yes, I know. I'm going to get to the story.

Thank you. Transgender wrestler Mac begs to finish his high school career with another UIL state title amid booze criticisms and questions. Is that a woman or a man oh come on this kid i could have sworn i highlighted shit in this article uh but he was born mckenzie like you said right as a girl and he's going through the transition thing but he hasn't had all the he's taking the uh begs wrestled girls because under university interscholastic league rules athletes are required to compete in the gender division that corresponds to their birth certificate so he has to wrestle chicks because it says he's a chick on the thing even though he's not anymore he was born a female as mckenzie but he identifies as a butterfly no as a male even though he has yet to have gender

reassignment surgeries he recently consulted with a plain old plastic surgeon it sounds like he's at a plain old like a plain old plastic surgeon it's opposed to a one, and hopes to soon have top surgery, in quotes, which involves breast tissue removal and male chest contouring, which I had a couple years ago. I did three reps on the peck deck. I looked in the mirror

and I said, I gotta get these tits fixed. You should see Fiore the faces he's making. So, you know right what are you worried about what's the biggest thing you got to worry about you're worried about the weight you're worried about the weight what are we arguing about for i just said the weight he's wrestling girls it comes down to technique and who has the most heart i put too much in quote i put too much blood sweat and tears i put too much blood, sweat, and tears. I put too much BS into this journey that I wanted to come out on top. In my heart, I am a champion. No, in your pants, you're a champion.

Again, I don't mean to. And again, we've talked about transgender. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. It looks like a, you know what I mean? Fiori, how'd you like to wake up today? Huh? And, you know what I mean? You'd rather have a dress on like to wake up today? Huh? And, you know what I mean? You'd rather have a dress on today, but you have to put that silly shit on.

One day. That fish t-shirt. No. Leather chaps. I'd like it okay. He says, no matter who you put in front of me, I'm a champion. Well, no. How can you say that?

Cypress Ranch senior Kayla Fitz, who was 52-0 this season before falling to Beggs, 11-2 in Saturday's semifinal match, told the Dallas Morning News, the strength definitely was the difference. Are you hearing that, feminists? The strength was definitely the difference. I didn't anticipate how strong he was. No, because your head has been filled with shit.

The guy's taking testosterone. Asked whether she believed having to wrestle bags was fair. Fitz firmly responded, no. Why not? I understand if you want to transition your gender, she said. I understand that totally, but there's a time and a place. Kind of agree with her. You know, Ray Lewis was originally born.

Aisha Thompson. Beggs has taken doctor-prescribed low-dose testosterone injections since October of his freshman year. His gender transition and hormone therapy, however, did not come into public light until last january here's the thing here's the kicker for your state law and the uil rules prohibit steroid use by high school athletes begs testosterone injections are permissible however because of the law's safe harbor provision which allows steroids that are dispensed prescribed delivered

and administered by a medical practitioner for a valid medical purpose. Is this a valid medical purpose? I don't think so. Wrestling? See, you just can't say no to anybody anymore. That's the fucking problem. That's the problem. You just can't say no to anybody anymore.

36-0 record. He was 56-0 as a junior and 49 as a sophomore when he lost in the state tournament qualifier. Beggs thanked ULIS Trinity wrestling coach Travis Clark and his teammates. Without them, I wouldn't be the wrestler and the athlete that I am today, he said.

No, without your doctor, you wouldn't be the wrestler you are today. I don't want to get too fucking literal, but he said he wants to wrestle, boys, but the law doesn't, you know, allow it. Wait a minute. Oh, here he is. Okay, he should be a boy.

Or she should be a boy. Again, I'm not making light of that situation. It's got to be a bitch to wake up going you know wearing this i feel on halloween i get that feeling i see kids dressed up like superman and i i don't even see how he was a girl ever yeah i know this is a tough one i wouldn't want to wrestle this kid i mean look at the guns on this kid. Look at those pipes. He definitely shouldn't be wrestling.

How about the poor girl? Lost to him last year, too. And some guy, one of the fathers of the woman, girls, sued. The safe harbor provision. It's always a i just think that's unfair don't you i want to see it's going to happen to morris boy this is going to be slippery you're going to see it's going to be like watching the uh william sisters play against women i laugh when i see the way who i love again i told you one of them smiled at me

when i was coming out of Howard Stern one morning. I was walking down the sidewalk. I think it was Venus, actually. And I became a fan. But that doesn't, who's that? That's her as an adorable little girl. And then this is right before the transition. But why the blue hair?

Why do they go with that? Huh? Yeah. I hate to stereotype and paint with a broad brush. But you always get the purple and blue hair right before. Who had that joke? DiStefano. What's DiStefano's first name?

Mike? The one that's dead now. DiStefano? Yeah. DiStefano. I'm not sure I know. He goes, I went up to a kid. He had purple hair hair Four nose rings

Pissed nipple Tattoos on his neck I went up to him I said You know we can see you I fucking love that one Nick in Detroit What's going on

Nick We must be looking at the pic. I think we're looking at the pic, Nick, right now that you were talking about. Yeah, you see her junk for shooting out of her fucking wrestling onesie? Oh, no, I didn't. Did you? Hold on. Do we have that one?

Where the hell is that? So what do you think, Nick? I think it's a little unfair, no? Let me tell you, Nick. It says that Beggs was born a girl, and her parents remember her considering herself a boy as early as age three, which, first off, is fucking impossible. A baby at age of three years old doesn't consider themselves boy or girl.

They're just a kid. You know what I'm saying? You don't fucking consider yourself boy or girl at the age of three. Well, I don't know. You watch some kids, you know, you put down a doll, you put down a tractor or a jackhammer, and the kid picks it up? Yeah, but I mean, still, whether a little gay kid plays with a doll or a freaking masculine girl plays with a wrestling figure doesn't make...

No, it doesn't make the final decision, but it's a tip-off. Yeah, I mean, it's a little bit of a hint. Just a hint. And how about this doctor? The doctor prescribing this girl testosterone. He should have his frickin' medical license, yanked. It's fuckin' ridiculous. Well, he's doing... It's legal,

apparently. How is that legal? I don't know. I'm not a fuckin' lawyer, but obviously he's doing it, and he didn't get arrested for it, so it's legal. That's fucking ridiculous. That's right. I guarantee you. It is ridiculous. I guarantee you

our tax dollars are going into it somehow. Not mine. I ain't living in it. No, you're right. Federal dollars. Exactly. And then, okay, even if, okay, it's legal, the doctor injects them, I don't give a fuck if a doctor's injecting him or not. He's still taking steroids. Yes. Well, that, okay, even if, okay, it's legal, the doctor injects them, I don't give a fuck if a doctor's injecting him or not. He's still taking steroids.

Yes, well, that, no, that's exactly right. That's why that safe harbor provision is a baloney. You know, it's state law and ULI rules prohibit steroid use by high school athlete. Begs testosterone injections are permissible, however, because of the state law's safe harborage, which allows steroids that are dispensed, prescribed, delivered, and administered by a medical practitioner or a guy that works at the gym and... Yeah. Who's 5'10", 270 with no body fat. Yeah, I don't give a fuck.

Just because she's taking steroids, she's slamming girls in the meds like Ted DiBiase. No, I agree, Nick. I'm with you on this one. All right. How about the two girls that beat him or whatever? How come we're not hearing more about them? What fucking beats? Yes, well, because we saw pictures of them,

and they were 6'3", 276, and they both had beards like ZZ Tom. All right, Nick. See you later. And again, not to make a lot, but it's not fair to those girls. It's not. I hope, not to make a lot, but it's not fair to those girls. It's not. I hope this shit keeps happening, though,

because it's entertaining. Reminds me of a Monty Python episode. Remember? Didn't they fucking box an old lady? Remember Cleese got in the ring? It's like kickboxing the shit out of us. It was a nun versus... It was a nun.

It was a nun versus... A nun or an old lady. I don't remember. Somebody in the late 70s call and refresh my memory. Jason in Kansas, how are you? What's going on? Hey, Nick. How you doing?

I'm well. I just wanted to call in and tell you I love the show. Thank you, sir. Good breath of fresh air. I appreciate it. It keeps me up when I'm driving. I don't plan my days a lot, but from 7 to 9, I know what I'm doing. 7 to 9, so you're in Kansas. That's right, yeah.

That's what I hear a lot. It keeps me up. I'm a breath of fresh air at 3 a.m. Well, yeah. On the weekends. I'm not there at 3 a.m. Yeah, well, yeah. On the weekends. I'm not there at 3 a.m. Yeah. We won't beat that dead horse, but yeah, that's bullshit there.

Yeah, well, you know, like, I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt, like Fiore said with the new kid on the block, but whatever. I mean, if there's any truth to the free market, you know, we shall succeed in the end. Well, I have you on the phone. Do you have any shows out in Kansas at all, or are you primarily out east? Right now, out east. The tour is basically out east. You know, the Nick is Right tour. But, again, it's sort of a trial run.

We'll see how it goes. And then we'll come to the, you know, I used to come to Kansas all the time. I played slapsticks and the other ones, Stanford and Sons. So it's a good comedy town. So Jason, hopefully, again, we'll see how this does and I'll be out there. All right. Sounds good. I look forward to it.

Thanks, Jason. Have a good one, Dave. Take it easy. All right. Richard in South Dakota, how are you? Hey, Nick. How's it going, buddy? What's happening?

So you say the rules are to protect the boys transitioning to girls. Right. Well, unfortunately, it has to be the same for both because, you know, you think I have these great big boys that aren't very good wrestlers against boys. Go, well, I feel like I'm a girl. I'm going to go get a good record. Right. Right.

So I have a feeling that's probably why they have that stupid rule about the birth certificate, because they have to make it so that the boys can't cheat. So the boys can't cheat. Right. You know, as in they can't say they're transitioning to a girl, they really don't want to, but they can both wrestle against the girl. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I like to wrestle the girl. Also, I wanted to commend you on your still shot. I can't imagine hitting a Yorkie Terrier with a freaking hockey stick right in the stomach. That's a hell of a shot, bud. People are going to fucking... Ah, he's hitting his...

Actually, I lied. Actually, I lied. It was a nine iron. Oh, shit, even better. The dog is fine. I love. Actually, I lied. It was a nine iron. Oh, shit, even better. The dog is fine. You're great. Thanks, Richard. Appreciate it.

Thanks for bringing that point to that, Les. I can't even understand what he said. What was he saying? Which rule was he talking about? I brought up two rules. One saying you have to wrestle as the sex on your birth certificate, and the other one was they're allowing you to take injections. So what was his point?

His point was that boys transitioning to women can't then wrestle women because that would be a clear-cut advantage. So they have to wrestle their gender of birth. Boys transitioning to women. Still have to wrestle boys. I don't think that's why. That's their rule. Well, you'd be taking estrogen. A boy transitioning to a woman

will be taking estrogen shit. But if he's wrestling girls, still a clear advantage. Why? You have an original male frame and stature and weight. Okay, but i could kick the shit out of rupaul i mean that'd be judy goal i mean i think she'd kick my ass anyhow again but i guess you know i look i say, the old days, these weren't problems, but people who suffered with this, you know.

And I see older, like, women that are, you know, definitely gay, lesbians, like, you know, out behind the mall or something. And I go, God bless them. Seriously. You know what I mean? They never had a shot. Huh? Never had a fucking shot. Coming out of the womb looking like Carol O'Connor They never had a shot. Huh? Never had a fucking shot. Coming out of the womb looking like Carol O'Connor?

You're a fucking... Never had a shot at a guy. And then you see them together. And a lot of times I can't tell which one's the husband and it looks like two guys. Sometimes there's a real feminine one and a guy looking one and i want to say the feminine one why don't you just fuck a guy the emotional differences well just don't talk to the person that's all i'm saying That's all I'm saying.

It's not bad of those girls wrestling. I feel bad for that girl. They had to deal with this twice. You smug cocksucker. Fuck you. Hey, I was just playing a song. I have the whole album at home. Tiny Tim's greatest hits.

Johnny in Texas. Is it the same one they called earlier, Johnny? Yeah, man. It's a long fucking drive. I got nobody to talk to. Johnny's going to clarify the laws on transgender wrestling because, as you know, Johnny was born Janie in Lubbock. That's it? Hey, I am in Texas, and UIL stands for University Interscholastic. I know, I know.

Oh, no, I'm not trying to be smart. Yeah, you sound like it, but go ahead. I'm sorry, dude. Johnny, I'm kidding you. Johnny, I'm kidding you. Go ahead. Okay, so anyway, the dude that called earlier, he's saying that, you know how people can go, well, today I identify as a chick, so I'm going to go use the women's shitter.

Well, the reason that rule is in place is so a guy can't say, I identify as a girl, so I'm going to fight girls. Yeah, no, you're talking about the rule where you have to use what's on your birth certificate. Yeah. Right, right. Even if they're not taking estrogen estrogen even if they're not truly transitioning that way they can't just no you know identify exactly exactly today i feel like trisha yeah and then hey but and then the last thing i want to say is why do we give such a fuck all the i better not say that it's all just johnny it's all

distractions that's all stories like these are distractions from the bigger thing of of uh robert muller evie you know trying to fucking hang uh trump for no reason whatsoever and uh other shit stuff that's going on in syria and and and uh you know china and this is what keeps us busy and you know what fuck it i'll I'll engage him. Love your show, buddy. Thank you, Johnny. Bye. What did I say to fucking get him off so quick? He probably disagreed about one of those points I threw in there. About Syria.

God, those things are heartbreaking. I'm what, 60 minutes? I stumbled over it. I couldn't watch it. Jesus Christ. Of course, they're right over there. And I'm waiting for them to tie it to us somehow. You know? Was that Anderson Cooper?

No, it wasn't. They were showing footage of Sarians, you know, neighborhoods, civilians getting killed with sarin gas and little kids and fury that bothered you? I turned it off. I thought you were in belly laughing.

I thought you would have fucking put that on your reel with the kids from Shrine of Sinner. Nothing makes Fury laugh. Just sickening. Just fucking. I'm like, who's more evil? You know, fucking Russia, China. But that Bashard. What a fucking. fucking yeah it is um but kids fucking babies like quivering and and and then some people tell you it's propaganda those are actors and actresses

oh really people still say that about the Holocaust. Crisis actors. They're actors. They're crisis actors. That's what they're calling the new pundits we're seeing with these teenagers. Yeah, yeah. With the shooting, Jimmy? Yeah, crisis actors.

Yeah, that one kid they call the crisis actor. I like the audition for some of that shit. I'm pretty good in a crisis I locked my keys in a car a couple nights ago I didn't panic, I was fine But, oh my god, heartbreaking Just sarin gas On civilians

They're not the rebel army Fiore's belly laughing I guarantee he's looking at pictures right now. What are you looking at? A kid foaming from the nose? It could be that or a Three Stooges marathon. I don't know with Fiore. Look, the kid's wheelchair's got a flat tire.

He really is twisted. I don't know what happened to him. Fiore. You're transitioning, aren't you? Yeah, to a fucking size 40 waist i know i did shaun t back to back today alpha cardio core i don't even know what that is you couldn't do it trust me it's you fucking jump around for a half hour jump around for a half hour jumping around for a half hour doing burpee yeah you soft serve with no burpee push-ups and crazy i mean just again there's low impact you know it's there's uh somebody doing

a modified version even that will put your heart rate through there it's great like in between you doing the actual exercises you know you you fake skip rope for like a minute. That's the part to bring your heart rate down a little. So, but I did, I woke, I slept decent last night. Took half a lorazepam and had some black tar hash that I found in the garage. And a quarter scotch and I had some, what Michael Jackson would call milk. What's that shit that knocks you out?

Remember that? I used it when I had my ass injury. No. Nobody knows. It was only Michael Jackson. I can't remember. Peoria, your memory's worse than mine. It's not good.

He's not even arguing. He goes, it's not good, Ted. Yeah. Yeah, so I felt good. And I went back to back. Three pots of coffee, about seven cigarettes. Smoked on stage all weekend, too. They let me.

God bless Governor's Comedy Club. Hey, so come see me this Saturday night, folks. Vikings, did I say? Uncle Vinny's on Saturday night, Point Pleasant. Tomorrow night, the very great Bonnie McFarland. Thank you to all the callers, both long-winded and short-winded. You guys were terrific. You're the lifeblood of the show.

Remember, if you want to say something, what's the saying? You say it, I'll think it. Remember, you think it, I'll say it. I don't know which one to go with. I think you could combine them. Remember, folks, you think it, I'll say it. Now go do the wrong thing. Outro Music