The Nick DiPaolo Show - 221 - Weekend In Tampa

Episode Date: March 13, 2018

Weekend In Tampa

You're listening to Nick DiPaolo on the Riotcast Network, Riotcast.com. Oh, yes! It's a Monday! How are you, folks? Nick Tafalosha. Proud Straight Heterosexual Male I'd say Christian

But I went to church In 7th grade It was the last time I hit the Father Thomas gave me a weird look Out of the corner of his eye I gave him the bird That was that I don't trust any of those motherfuckers

How are you? Wah wah wah wah wah 866-969-19. 866-969- 1969. 866- 969- 1969. Andy, are you a globalist? That means Jewish.

Apparently to the left. I love how they corrupt our language. You said the word V. That makes you a black hater. What? Globalist. So if you're anti-Semitic, you're what, a nationalist? You're anti-globalist?

Yeah, it's a globe. See how that works? I don't know too many Jewish people that are nationals. Maybe that's an unfair statement. But how's it going, folks? Good to be with you on a Monday. And, uh, was at, uh, Sidesplitters in Tampa this weekend. Quite a gig. Jared Freed, by the way, we had in here last week. Knocked it out of the park every night. So much so that I'm not going to use him again. Not that I even hired him in the first place, but I don't want to work that hard at this stage. place, but I don't want to work that hard at this stage. Good guy, too.

Good guy. And, yeah, funny. Not cheap funny. Funny was good. And, you know, I said, listen, it's enough of that. I'd like you to tank for the last 10 minutes. No, they loved him. And then I'm watching, like, after the show, I'm looking over and watching a few young girls talking to him, watching myself 20 years ago.

And I had better material at that stage. Let's be honest, I'm a fucking comic to the bone. But no, he was a pleasant surprise and enjoyed him tremendously. And the show, I had the emcee go introduce me, you know, from Sirius XM channel one, he didn't even get through channel one or three, the play starts applauding, which made my nipples harder than diamonds, and seriously, and after the show, taking all the pictures, and everybody mentioned in the radio show, or the podcast, by the way, 866-969-1969, if you like to call and blow me, 969-1969 If you like to call and blow me as I'm blowing me

Um Yeah it was It was fun Hanging out with Bobby Jewell Who owns Sidesplitters Who's a hard drinking Hard smoking and you know my smoking Has increased lately and

If I didn't smoke a pack and a half each Night with him I didn't smoke one And I was reaching for more than him he's like what the fuck you were like a three or four guy you know and uh you know drinking like a pirate and just i'm guessing my liver and my lungs my lungs feel like they feel a little kind of crispy right now inside but But I looked at myself in the airport bathroom in the mirror six in the morning. I looked like I was

71. Jesus Christ, these dark circles. Didn't even comb my hair. Stayed at Bobby's house. It's like a gated community. He gives me the code. I go to bed. I'm fucking hammered. I don't remember any code. I get up. I'm fucking hammered I don't remember

any code I get up I go oh I'll just go around the gate cause it's like a regular neighborhood no the gates go into other people's yards into the woods so here I am

it's picture this it's 6 10 in the morning I got my little duffel bag I got a winter coat on and I'm in Florida how about if you see something, say something, fucking Tampa. I'm under a streetlight wearing a winter coat in 58 degree weather with a duffel bag.

And the gate, I couldn't remember the code. So I'm trying to climb under it. I almost get stuck. So it was about, I'd say, 14 inches. I'm trying to make myself skinny. And I'm scraping my chin and face and tits on the hot top. Hot top? Hot top.

That's what we call it in Massachusetts. You call it black top. That's fucking racist. What are you, a globalist hater? So I crawl under there and throw my bag over the fence. That doesn't look too... Sending up a signal. Hey, Hamas is here.

Now I'm standing outside a gate in the dark. Hair sticking up straight. Whiskey smelling like smoke. Felt fucking good. I felt like a fucking man. Not like Pete Holmes. Would have been standing there with a fucking fluffy hat on and his fucking pink robe waiting for his boyfriend to pick him up. Nick, why'd you say that?

I don't know. I just grabbed the name out of the hat. It happened to be Pete Holmes. I'm sure he's a good guy. 866-969-1960. If you want to call in and tell me how funny this story is. And yeah, I'm waiting out there in the dark with my duffel bag. And then the cab driver calls me.

Of course, his fucking Jamaican accent was colder than, you know, thicker than fucking. Couldn't even. Estates? Yeah, estates. Jesus Christ. And then I see a car, the only car like two miles away at a red light. So I took my phone out and put the light on and he flashed me back. Sure enough, it was him.

And yeah, and that's how i uh got home but i it's i this is why you people ask me why i don't come out to california and why don't you come out to texas and oregon i fucking hate flying uh you guys don't it's like to drive into la guardia i live in westchester my flight's at 11 that means i have to be there at 10 right which means i have to leave my house to be safe in case there's traffic or an accident in new york so i leave at nine to get to la guardia which looks like fucking isis just hit it four minutes ago there's 19 bulldozers 14 dump trucks there's make there's makeshift signs and the only thing i know is that i fly out of Delta and I like to use Daily Park or not. Daily Park, it's right to the left. It's just a flat lot. There's no roof on it, nothing. So I missed that because

they have a cop car in front of it. It says bare left. Some reason the cop got blocking it. Now I'm back. Now I'm heading back out of the airport. I'm fucking in my car screaming again this is all before i usually get up come back around miss it again because i'm not paying attention there i go again at another circle finally get into the lot take the ticket the thing goes up and there's all these makeshift signs saying the lot it's all roped off the lot that i park in the nice ground floor lot is all it's being dug up and shit yet they lured me in there now this sign's heading me towards the garage and i have a phobia about parking i don't know why i just don't like parking and of course it's six levels and it says open on every level you know i get in i'm circle fucking this is just life in new york my blood pressure is about 797 over 2 fucking 98

and uh finally find a spot you know 850 levels up then you have to get on an elevator you look at the elevator you have to be a calculus major to figure out fucking low 2Ls, 3Ls, B minus 3 over fucking N squared. Parking, ticketing. It's a fucking laundry list of shit. It really is. It's just an aggravating...

And then I get to TSA and naturally, oh yeah, I got my pre-check. So is that. What's so special about that? I saw people with green checks on their forehead. They weren't even from this country. Pre-check this.

866-969-1969. 866-969-1969. What's going to be all politics? Anyways. Fucking in line for 19 minutes. These are all the things that build up in my mind before I want to get on a plane. This is the shit that haunts me. If you have a triple-A personality, like, and then I get on the fucking plane.

Any flight, by the way, out of LaGuardia or into LaGuardia, right? I don't care where you come from. from is oversold or whatever at this point if you're a comic you'll back me up on that so i you know i'm in 15d some fucking shit somebody rips the most rotten rancid fucking fart i mean it must have been a foot i swear the guy the guy crop dusted me might have hated my comedy as he's putting his bag up. Things surrounded me like a warm blanket. Even other people, like 20 rows behind me doing this. And I'm like, what the fuck? Out loud, people are looking at me.

What the fuck? And by the way, this was a day after International Women's Day. You know, hearing we can do everything you can do for 24 hours. I'm not on the plane 10 seconds. Two women asked me to help them with their bags. And I said, hashtag me too, motherfucker. Get it yourself. So I got a kid shitting in my face.

I thought I had a piece of shit on my upper lip. It stung so bad. I looked behind me. I thought I was eating a block of gouda just horrendous just fucking horrendous now a baby starts crying like somebody's putting a cigarette out on his nipple screaming like he's fucking thrown into an open pit and then the announcements come on could they get any longer could they mention they like to hear themselves fuck i've been saying this they add a minute every year it's up i was looking at it's up to fucking six minutes now

and you know the call button is above your head you have the the folders in the front if you want to order a snack and make sure to keep your seat belt where you but but the toilets are located in the back side and uh please if you have luggage, put it in wheels first. Now stand it up like a book. That's the new thing. Stand your luggage up on its side like you would in a bookshelf. Half the people that fly Delta don't read books, so they're putting them in fucking crooked. I got a shit smell on my face, a baby crying.

The announcements are 11. They have the volume on 14. Fucking, I saw people doing this, putting it's nobody's paying attention out there nobody's paying attention to details and the plane is 119 degrees i saw old ladies taking their bras off fucking lady in her hundreds go what the fuck i'm dying in here it had to be 110 that kid was screaming so much and didn't stop plane took off we're 10 minutes in the flight he's still screaming finally the poor father i've always feel for the parents he he rung his thing and the stewardess came over those uh you know those girls from atlanta they really into their fucking jobs oh by the way on the flight back we had to

wait because they said a flight attendant will be here in about 20 minutes. Whole plane, yeah. And that's happened to me three times and I want to mention the race or ethnicity, but I'll let you guys do the fucking math. And I gave her the stink eye on the fucking plane and she wasn't having none of it.

She was kind of heavy, but kind of like cute for a, you know, hair all fucking. You could tell she just came from a fucking boy. But, boy, she stared right back at me. She knew what I was fucking thinking. Because we saw her come in. You know what I mean? She snuck in late.

Everybody was waiting that we saw her. Comes in with her coat on. But then she's got this cunty attitude the rest of the flight. That's why I won't come to L.A. or to fucking Vegas to Oregon. Unless you want to have somebody with a private jet come out and pick me up. I would say a helicopter, but not a good thing to say here in New York. Apparently. You couldn't get me in a helicopter at gunpoint.

Right? Oh, yeah. Let's go take a look at the... Was it a Taurus? Yeah. right oh yeah let's go take a look at the was it a torus yeah i'm scared enough when there's a jet with 19 fucking engines on the wings now you're gonna put me in a fuck with one propeller huh no fucking way no way but mother of god i and i said we get now me and we got the tour coming up.

Two flights in a row, two flights in a row. And again, the whole idea of this tour was to, I could drive to all of them. And Tommy messed up on a couple. Let's be honest. Uh,

cause my limit is four, usually four and a half, but I'm upping that. I'm upping that now after that flight to like seven. Um, but yeah, me and Flora, Fiore are going to take that.

But that means again, me, I looked at my let's put it this way, I looked at my watch my flight was at 11, I had to be at 10, that means I had to leave my house at 9, which means I got up at about 8.15. We took off at 10 or 12. So I've almost been traveling now, right? For what?

Three and a half, four hours. That's three quarters away into the gig you and i would be doing so we got short flights though so they are short flights absolutely makes it a lot but again you live three seconds from la guardia and that's what messes it up for me. Right, right. You know? But the fucking, yeah. Just, I mean, somebody shits their pants. You know, I've had gas on a plane. I fucking hold it. Go to the bathroom, for Christ's sake. No, I like to drop it right on it.

No, you do. You go to the bathroom, let it out. I mean, this guy, I think it was the guy that was right in front of me putting his bag up. I swear to God. People don't out. I mean, this guy, I think it was the guy that was right in front of me putting his bag up. I swear to God. People don't give a fuck anymore, dude. They don't. They think it's a bus.

And, oh, I asked two of the black students. There were two of them. And I asked one. I go, so who was late? And she smirked at me, younger one she's she smirked and but i knew who it was we saw the fucking you know i want her to say yeah it was fucking taisha but she wouldn't say it don't cringe brendan this is all true this has happened three times to me in the last i'd say say, three years. Bing, bing, bing. That's not to say why bitches ain't late either.

I'm just saying. But no respect. The fucking volume is on 19 on the announcements. People are cringing. What's that going to make me pay? And they go on forever. They cover the plane you're in, where to put fucking they don't it it's like they get paid by the word every year they're adding a minute guys i'm always ahead of this shit you know me type

triple a personality um but the tampa show's tremendous they always are people come out it's a lot of new yorkers down there and bostonians cops, Nick Pod, a lot of Nick DePaulo podcast t-shirts. And like I said, when the MC brought up the radio show, nice round of applause. And I thank you guys for that. And Bobby Jewell was just tremendous. He's a whole scar drinking, smoking. He's from upstate where we're going. He's from way up there.

Played football at Wagner. And, uh, apparently banged Balber Eden. Fucking back in the eighties. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Fucking she blinked. And he had a whole pizza.

and she blinked and he had a whole pizza in front of her. But it's a great club. So anyways, this week, the Nick is Right Talk kicks off Friday. This Friday

at the Clayton Opera House, Clayton, New York. Continues the next night, March 17th at the Wood Theater, Glens Fall, New York. The weekend after that, Friday, March 23rd, the Pama Opera House in Cuba. Cuba, New York. The weekend after that, Friday, March 23rd, the Pahama Opera House in Cuba.

Cuba, New York, not Cuba, Cuba. March 24th at the Cajos Music Hall, Cajos, New York. Go to nickdip.com for the full tour dates and ticket info. Let's go to Mike in Tampa on line one. Mikey boy. Hey, Nick. First of all, you fucking killed Friday night. I was at the late show.

Oh, yes. That was a good one. Yes. I need to thank you, and here's why. I've been in Tampa for two years now, and I've been trying to get my fiance to go to that club for two years. She's not interested in stand-up comedy. I've tried to put it on TV.

It doesn't do anything for her. Yeah, she's retarded. Get rid of her. When I found out you were coming in December, I said, look, I'm going with my brother and his wife on March 9th, and if you're not coming, I don't give a shit. And she finally went, whatever. When you say goodnight, she turned to me and said,

we need to come back here more often. No kidding. So, yes, I swear to God. I want to thank you for that because I love stand-up comedy and I love you. And you better be coming back. I don't care if you get the fly or not. You better be coming back. Here's what I love what you just said, Mike.

I'm glad that happened because I love stand-up comedy. I love you. And I didn't mention his girlfriend. I'm glad that happened because I love stand-up comedy. I love you. And I didn't mention his girlfriend. How old, wait a minute, how long have you been going out with your girlfriend? Five years.

Oh, shit. I would have felt better if it was like a couple months. I'm like, yeah, I saved the relationship. That's good. No, no, no. You saved me being able to go to the comedy club now. That's what you did. I see.

Beautiful. I appreciate you coming out, Mike. All right, man. Thank you. Good luck on your tour. I wish you the best. Appreciate it. Yes, sir.

Clemente in Florida. Clemente. Hey, Mr. Napalo. How are you? I'm good. How are you tonight, sir? Pretty good. Yeah, man. I was out there in Tampa.

I saw your last show on Saturday night. Fucking amazing, man. You murdered that fucking room. It was quite the sight to see, man. I was very impressed. I appreciate it. Sometimes I do my best work on the last show of the week, just knowing that already I looked out of my phone and Delta goes, time to check in. like gets me fired yeah man it was uh yeah like i said man amazing show uh yeah i met you afterwards man i was the guy the uh bald guy with the big beard i was with that crazy lesbian broad that was kind of stalking and giving giving you a problem. Oh yeah. Jennifer. Yes, sir.

I was going to say, she kept saying when I see Clemente, I was, I was going to say, weren't you with some crazy, uh, yeah, she was,

uh, boy, was she, uh, she was a fucking house of fire. I couldn't, uh, I couldn't get a word in.

Yeah. I'm sorry, man. She gets excited. I'm sure you noticed, but, uh, yeah, thanks for,

uh, thanks for putting up with us. You know, man, had a great time. Good talking to you. All right, man. Yeah, like I said, man, yeah, you know, I'm sure you thought, like, you know, looking at my friend there, she seems like the type of person that would despise your type of comedy, you know? Yes. She looked like me when I was 18 in the face and haircut.

Yeah, right. But she was funny. She was actually funny. I told her. She had an outgoing personality, but she threw a few zings in that had me laughing. I'm like, give it a shot. She's taken a few stabs at stand-up before. Oh, I meant cock, but go ahead.

Ha! No. Yeah, she can't really commit herself to it, I guess. I keep telling her she should try to do it more often. They're kind of popular in Hollywood these days. The chances are failing on none.

Probably having a Netflix special within two years, right? That's right. All right, buddy. Good hearing from you. Yeah, you too. Just one more thing. Yeah, like what I was saying, man, after I left that night, you know, the first thing I heard when I was walking out the parking lot, there was some broad out there complaining about, she's like, I just feel terrible that I paid that guy because, you know, apparently

she had to stick up her ass about some of your jokes or whatever. Yeah, she didn't pay nothing. Nobody pays to get in those places. She's full of shit. A few people. All right, man. Thank you, Clement. I love the show, man.

Love what you're doing. Keep up the good work, man. Thank you, sir. If you're ever in Florida again, I'll be there. Yeah, all right. Looking forward to it. Yeah, I walked 12 people in the first show After the first show Yeah I'm guessing

I wonder how they voted What do you think? Huh? Imagine walking out Can you fucking imagine walking out? I could go to a comedy club And let's say the head of the National organization for women

Was the headline I'd still stay. Just out of pure vitriol. Wouldn't fucking walk, though. I enjoy that. And if you're not walking people and you're a white, straight male, you're not fucking being honest.

You're sucking Hollywood cock. Chuck in Boston. Hey, Nick, man. I'm listening to you about your flight experience. I guess it's because you're a comedian. You fly a lot more often. A lot more shit can happen to you guys because you fly more often. Yes.

But I tell you what, man. I wish I had a time machine. I'd go back and tell the Wright brothers, why even bother? Yeah, right? I'm telling you. Chuck, people always go, it's like taking Greyhound bus. That's an insult to Greyhound bus. No, it's because you fly more often than a lot of people.

And it's just like probably one out of every five or six flights you have to deal with some bullshit. I don't know about that. People just fly and have a good time or whatever. Yeah, some of them do. Some of them do. It came out today. It was confirmed today. What?

All you Trump haters, it was confirmed and proven that there has been no collusion between Trump and Russia. Yeah, Chucky. Hey, let's go have a couple shots and celebrate. Chucky, who said that, by the way? What, what, what?

I heard it. I listened to 115, Sirius 115, Channel 115. Yeah. Every 15 minutes they get the news. That's how I get my news. I know, but... Some Republicans or something like that. Well, yeah, but it won't officially be dead until a Democrat says it.

Well, yeah, they're going to have their report coming out next. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be. I'm sure it'll mirror the Republican report. I'm sure it'll be Chuck Schumer crying when he has to fucking report it. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be. I'm sure it'll mirror the Republican report. I'm sure it'll be Chuck Schumer crying when he has to fucking report it. Yeah, and guess what? They won't admit to it. It'll say just the opposite of whatever today's did.

Oh, look at Max. I'll call him the Don the Con. Oh, Maxine Waters. Please. Please die in your sleep tonight. All right, Chuckie, I got to go to break. Good hearing from you, buddy. All right, Sch tonight. All right, Chucky, I got to go to break. Good hearing from you, buddy. All right, too, man. All right.

Look at MSNBC. Why would you have Maxine Waters on tonight? And then you got over there, you got Goo Gobbler, Cooper Anderson, and his fucking boyfriend. What's his name? Which one? He's from Texas, from San Antonio, the congressman over there. God damn it, his name slips out of my mind. And Tucker has Jorge Ramos on.

Another lying piece of shit from El Tavision. Television. What's Maxi? Maxi Waters is yapping away as the face of Alan Page for the Vikings. Castro. Yeah. Yeah, Queen. Yeah.

Castro. Senator Castro. Congressman Castro from San Antonio. Wonder how he's leaning. Republicans on House and Telecommittee end Russia probe interviews without consulting Democrats. Oh, yeah, we should consult. They are getting embarrassed. Do you understand that? Trump is embarrassing these people.

Remember Pete Dominic when we first came on the air? You're too smart to fall for shit like that. Now how's it coming? Tucker should debate everybody Fucking Joaquin Castro Look at him Anderson Cooper

What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name?

What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name?

What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name?

What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name?

What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name?

What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name?

What's his name? What's his name? What's name? What's his name? What's name? What's name? What's his name? What's name?

What's name? What's name? What's name? What's name? It's my son, Thompson. My friend, Consoli. That's his first name? For the love of Pete. When we get back, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to talk... Well, we have a few things.

We can talk about Uber executive. It's a black woman saying white men need to make noise about diversity. Okay, I will. Shut the fuck up! This one gave me an uplifting feeling. Maybe it's time for everyone to give up on social media. It was in the New York Post and it did. It got me excited. Did you read that, Brenton? They say like large percentage of kids between 18 and

whatever, young, who said they're getting rid of, they've deleted a percentage of kids between 18 and whatever young who said they're getting rid they've deleted a lot of this shit seriously that made me fucking a little bit excited and we get steve bannon in france in front of a nice right-wing audience doing what he does best waking the world up to facts in my opinion and we also have sadiq Khan. Who's that? Well, that's that hateful Muslim who's now the fucking mayor of London. And he's all upset. He hates Trump and he thinks hate speech is growing because of Trump. So he can lick my white European nuts. 866-969-1969.

Back after this. You're listening to The Nick DiPaolo Show on Faction Talk Sirius XM 103. Thank you. We'll be right back. I'm a loose-hearted lady Sweet, big, washy The Nick DiPaolo Show returns now. Welcome back. Ooh, oh, it's me. I feel so badly for you. Ooh, oh, it's me. I feel so sadly for you. I'm about to lose your mind. I left for you in time. About to lose your mind.

How are you, folks? I'm about to lose my mind. Take the win right out of my motherfucking sails, yo. I love this fucking song. Fireflies dance dancing the heat up. Hound dogs at bay at the moon. My ship leaves in the midnight. Can't say I'll be back till soon.

Far, far away. Here, my candor, show me the way. Seeds of a thousand Drawn to her sin Alrighty Welcome back Just killing some time Up in the middle of Hey this weekend

It's a big weekend The Nick is right tour No there'll be no singing I promise you March 16th Clayton Opera House Clayton New York March 17th

Wood Theater Glens Falls New York. March 17th, Wood Theater, Glens Falls, New York. March 23rd, Palmer Opera House, Cuba, New York. March 24th, Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, New York. March 30th, Regent Theater, Arlington, Mass. March 31st, Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York. Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York. April 6th, Red Hook Brewery, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. April 7th, The Badawan, Poughkeepsie, New York. April 13th, The Paramount Theater, Rutland, Vermont. April 14th, Barrington Stage Company, Pittsfield, Mass. April 20th, Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York. April 21st, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.

April 27th, Majestic Theater, Pottsville, Pennsylvania. April 28th, The Kirby Center, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. April 27th, Majestic Theater, Pottsville, Pennsylvania. April 28th, the Kirby Center, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. May 4th, Jonathan's in Agunquit, Maine. May 5th, and the final date

of this segment of the tour, Schubert Theater, New Haven, Connecticut, and the Fiore opening for me. Can't fucking wait. Don't care.

Just to be, it's just going to be fun. It's going to be terrific. Yeah, go to nickdip.com for full tour. Date and ticket info. I don't like when other people, Poo-Poo on my president. Shadiq Khan won Silicon Valley

on hate speech. Why don't you mind your business? As much as I don't like Silicon Valley chooches either. That's right, I said chooches. Talking to the BBC ahead of the South by Southwest Technology Festival,

which I'll be doing 10 minutes at. No, I'm kidding. Khan said that companies must be chivvied and cajoled to take action. He's actually egging on, shutting down free speech. This is a Muslim, by the way, whose fucking city has fallen apart and

this country has been overrun. But he's going to give advice. He says, Germany's an example of where the German government said, enough, he continued. Unless you take down hate messages, unless you take down fake news, we will fine you. You know what I say to that?

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Oh, I'm sorry.

I hit the wrong button. I'm on a tour. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. I'm on a tour. I want to work with the tech companies, but you have to be Trump, claiming that Trump's decision to retweet a member far-right activist group, Britain First, had led to increased levels of abuse directed at him. Good, it's working. If you are the most powerful man in the Western world,

why can't I hear myself? There we go. And you are amplifying messages from far-right groups, Britain First. That has an impact on many people. That group incites hatred. So do you! So does your religion.

How about that? You fucking idiot, look in the mirror! Khan's proposals fall in line with his wider approach of cracking down on hate crimes, while levels of violent crime continue to soar. In recent years, local police have arrested dozens of people under hate crime legislation, usually on suspicion of speaking, what,

against radical Islam. That's what he's cracking on, speech against that. Fucking England, you deserve what you get. How fucking, how far is your head up your ass? His proposals are also likely to receive approval from the European Union. Good.

You guys get together and fucking die slowly. An organization that he ably supports. Yeah. Anything, anything where the government gets bigger and controls more lives, he ably supports. And anything to shut down you pushing against it, like free speech. Fucking Sadiq. Gotta be shitting me. He makes me mad.

Girl, I'm gonna fucking smash his fucking face in. No need to talk like that either. That's hate speech. You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Shadik. Now get the fuck out of here. Yeah. I'm telling you. Joel and I, we're going to go back one subject as we've moved on.

But he says, I work for Facebook. No one is dropping their accounts. Go ahead, Joel. That surprised me. I've got to be honest. Go ahead. We just broke the 2 billion active users per month. I don't think anybody's canceling their accounts.

Okay. I'm just telling what I read in the papers here in New York. But it surprised me, too. And you've got to take it with a grain of salt. A lot of people say they give up Facebook. They'll give it up for a week or two, and they will deactivate their account. It's still active. You can still see shit.

They just don't post to it. And then after two weeks, they're back. Yeah, it's like a pile of cocaine. I'm not touching that shit again. It's on a mantle. And that's why Facebook says that it's 2 billion active users per month. But didn't I read, Joel? They don't post every day.

But didn't I read, Joel? I thought I read in the paper a couple weeks ago, Zuckerberg actually kind of, they were talking about some kids getting sick of it or something or whatever. He was sort of acknowledging, there was a, I don't know, there was a dip. I can't remember if it was money-wise, but there was a dip, and he said, whatever, he was going to make it right. Well, the other thing you have to remember is that Facebook owns Instagram and a bunch of other apps. They're all on Facebook. Do you give up one? Yeah.

Who gives a shit? I'm still getting paid. All right, Joe. Very good. So there's the other side of the argument. Thanks, Nick. Love you. Love what you do.

Thank you, Joe. Appreciate it. Sick. Love you. Love what you do. Thank you, Joel. Appreciate it. You remember, though, I mentioned last week or the week before about Zuckerberg acknowledging that they had a little bit of a problem. There was a little, it was a dip. I said it was the first time. Well, I don't think people are necessarily canceling their accounts, but I think time spent on the website is way down. But that's what it said, though. And the article I read tonight said deleted their accounts.

Those are the exact words, but whatever. Even if they lost 1%. Ay-yi-yi. Two bill. Yikes. Let's say they lost 1,100th of a percent of their users, Zuckerberg's like, kids, we have to live on bologna

and dog food for the next two months. Because, uh... What was I talking about? Sadiq. Sadiq and hate speech warnings. Why do you think they... Doesn't he understand? Those companies, by the way,

aren't they a lot of them, Silicon Valley. Last time I checked, that was the United States of America, where we have a constitution, and we have something called free speech. Only thing that's considered hate speech is, again, anything that's not going after white Christian males. Poking fun at minorities, women, gay people. Now you're in deep doo-doo.

And most of his, do you hear what I read in your article? Most of the hate crime busts they make are people speaking out against radical Islam. Why would you vote for that cheese dick? Huh? Why would you vote for him? Kennedy in California. Could be a guy, could be a girl. Sir, how you doing?

Hey, Kennedy. That's a guy. It's Bill Kennedy. How you doing, man? What's happening? Nothing, man. Just a big fan. Love the show out here.

Appreciate it. Hoping that Nick is right to her. Makes it way out here. You know, it would be awesome. It would be awesome, you know. Oh, my God. Are you a pedophile? What's going on back there?

That's a baby girl. She's all right. Are you a pedophile? What's going on back there? That's a baby girl. She's all right. She's a big fan. She's a big fan. Yeah, she was cheering me on. She's a one. She's one years old. You mentioned Nick is right to it.

I heard her going, we're going to get tickets, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We lost another census killing together. Where are you, Kennedy? We're in California, right outside of L.A. Well, I'm not going to follow you home. What's the town?

Oh, San Bernardino. Oh, actually, I'm in Yucaipa, San Bernardino County. It's about an hour out of L.A. Now I'm starting to think that girl was tied up in the background. Yeah. I'm in San Bernardino. I'm in Yucaipa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Where the hell? Where's Yucaipa? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the hell, where's Yuccaipa? I never heard of it. Oh, have I? It's like between L.A. and Palm Springs. It's in the hills and mountains south of the U.S. Okay. And so, yeah. It's a conservative town, though, dude.

American flag's everywhere, Trump sign's everywhere. If you came here, you'd probably spell the place out. It's pretty conservative. Okay. You know, if all the fans, you know, people, fans like you of the show would be, I hate to show up. We get there and you're on the front row holding your baby girl. It's me talking to you. I know, right?

Four people. Yeah. Yucaipa, California. Is that right, Yucaipa? Yeah. All right. Write that down, Andy. We have to, eventually we're going to make it out there. Hey, thank you for calling, pal. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, California. Is that right? You Kipa? Yeah. All right. Write that down, Andy. We have to advance you.

We're going to make it out there. Hey, thank you for calling, pal. Yeah, yeah. Thank you, man. Thanks for all you do. You got it. I guess we're going to stay on the, again, because of the weird breakdown of segments. Everybody's fine with Sadiq Khan

telling us how to run the world and that freedom of speech is a danger even though he's a fucking ass. John of Colorado has a question for me and it's about 5-10 and I have hazel eyes. Go ahead, John.

John? Hey, how's it going, Nick? Yeah ahead, John. John? John? Hey, how's it going, Nick? Yeah, pretty good. How are you doing? Oh, pretty good. Keeping the truck driver theme going. Found your channel.

I do nothing but laugh my ass off now. Oh, good. Good. Well, I just wanted your opinion. I do listen a lot of Howard and kind of go with that Me Too movement. It's kind of a two-part question, I guess. What is your opinion on why the music industry isn't coming forward? Because I listened to an interview on Howard where Lady Gaga said she was raped. Kelly Clarkson said there's inappropriateness.

raped. Kelly Clarkson said there's inappropriateness. Why is it all just Hollywood big movie stars and not any of the music industry really right now? When you say not the music industry, as far as the complainants or the

defendants? Both. I haven't heard other than I guess on the Grammys which I didn't watch. There's, there's people talking about it. But you don't hear many complainants coming from the music side. I don't know. Like I said, after listening to, like, Lady Gaga, I was saying she was raped, and, you know, you think with all this big push, you know, more and more would come that way. See, I don't know if that's true or not. I haven't really.

come that way. See, I don't know if that's true or not. I haven't really. But yeah, it does seem it does seem more movie TV, but I'm sure if we Googled hashtag MeToo music it's probably been a handful. I don't know.

You know? And then the part two question is, what is your thoughts on I'm not saying anything anybody did was correct or right, but what kind of like, I guess, what's the, how far back someone can go and then the severity? Because, you know, more and more you keep hearing, you know, so-and-so, you know, called me a twat 20 years ago. Yeah, and then that just ruined their career. Like, what is the cutoff? For me, it's three days.

If I did anything to you past last Thursday, shut your fucking mouth. I don't want to hear it. It's all nose. I don't know. I mean, I don't know the law that well, you know. I don't know. It mean, I don't know the law that well, you know. I don't know. It depends what the violation was and what, you know, what the statute. But it is, on a bigger point, it is ridiculous when you have a woman 18 years later saying,

I was raped. I don't know. How about if you have hard evidence? There is no statute of limitations. If we have evidence of Russell Simmons doing something dirty 22 years ago, if you've got pictures of the actual buck statute of limitations, how about that? Yeah. I guess it's based on evidence and probably makes no sense to a lawyer, but that's it.

All right, John, that's all I got. All right, yeah, thank you much. You's it. All right, John, that's all I got. All right, yeah, thank you much. You got it. I hate people throwing me curveball when I had two Bacardi and Diet Coke. I should really stick with the coffee, it'd be much sharper. But then the show gets less funny.

Terminator, oh, la-dee-ah. Anybody, Sadiq? Nothing? Anybody on Sadiq? Kevin in D.C. A millennial who hates social media. That's refreshing to hear too, Kev. Well, I mean, look, I'm stuck in a generation of morons, so what do you want?

But the whole point is, I mean, for some of us, we need it just for networking, just between ourselves. I mean, for me, it's just, you know, that's how I kind of work my projects and stuff like that. So, I mean, that's about the only reason why I have for it. If I didn't, you know, if I had another avenue of approach to kind of publicize my independent works and, you know, my other little, um, yeah, attempts at,

you know, kind of improving my media work, I wouldn't have it because it's, it's just become the, it's become seriously the armpit of the internet. And it's just, it's bad. What is Facebook?

You're talking Facebook specifically? Facebook, Twitter, you know. Twitter's the, if Facebook's the armpit, Twitter's the asshole, right? Well, I'll put it this way. If I had to give the internet an enema, I'd stick the two, I don't know whether I'd stick it in 4chan

or I'd stick it in Twitter. But, and also, actually, I'll speak up on this guy, Sadiq Khan. You know, let's not forget, though, that this is the U.K. Isn't this the place where 1984 is supposed to be based? I know. I mean, they're becoming all, I mean, all I warned them, and they're still doing it.

They're just marching straight toward it. I know. It's like he planted a seed in their head. Well, you know, what do you expect for a land that, you know, adores a Fabian socialist by the name of George Bernard Shaw, who basically said, if you're not producing just a little bit more than you're taking in, then please explain to me why we shouldn't effectively kill you. That was my yearbook picture quote in high school, by the way.

Well, I don't know. That you make two good, great points, Kev, though. Fucking Orwell, and it seems like he planted the seed of the, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy or something. They're going right after it. It really is fucking amazing. What a nightmare. Well, I mean, you have, we have a prime minister who won't stand up to, you know, Russia killing an agent with collateral damage, with a nerve agent, no less, in London.

And all she does is, oh, we're extremely irritated about this. If that happened in America, there'd be more dire consequences. I would hope so. I mean, if Hillary was in office, that wouldn't be true. But, yeah, what's the broad's name, May? Yeah, Theresa May. She replaced David Cameron because after the Brexit, he basically said, oh, I cannot tolerate this kind of thing. It's like, you know what?

Go away. Go away, you global elitist nimrod. Yes, and he did, didn't he? He went away. Well, he went away. Well, of course, because he's got his nice little cushy seat in the House of Lords,

so what does he care? Right. He's an ex-prime minister. He gets a seat in the House of Lords. He can go on and go to that hall of professional windbags and, you know, spot his nonsense there in perpetuum,

and guess what? His descendants can probably claim that peerage that's right and keep the cycle going that's right good points all of them all right kev i only got a couple minutes left thanks for calling right on a pleasure and hey man keep it up thank you i never i never really thought of that no one do i you know the orwellian thing uh of that no wonder why you know the orwellian thing uh maybe he's too flirting should i do we have time to run through these one more time let's do it good way to kill the show clayton opera house march 16th that's this friday night right yes sir and then the next night we're at the wood theater in glens falls new york uh march 23rd palmer opera house cuba new york

march 24th cohoes, Cohoes Music Hall, Cohoes, New York. March 30th, Regent Theater, Arlington, Mass. March 31st, Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York. April 6th, Red Hook Brewery, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. April 7th, the Bardabon, Poughkeepsie, New York. April 13th, the Paramount Theater, Rutland, Vermont. April 14th, the Barrington Stage Company, Pittsfield, Mass, April 20th, Cortland Repertory Theater,

Cortland, New York, April 21st, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, April 27th, Majestic Theater, Pottsville, PA, April 28th,

the Kirby Center, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, May 4th, Jonathan's, Agunquit, Maine, May 5th, the Schubert Theater, New Haven, Connecticut. Go to nickdip.com for the full tour dates and ticket information. Hit me up on Twitter, at Nick DiPaolo.

Not that it'll matter. I don't even know if there's a connection between me and my followers out there. They've kept me between the 101,275 mark and the 101,360 mark it's been in between those parameters i'd say for three months now yeah somebody explain that to me i should have talked to the guy i again i haven't posted anything in three months i was like why i read a whole article saying some of you folks don't even see some of this shit. Okay, I'm going to really test it one night. I'm going to put a picture of a butchered kitten on my countertop.

See if that gets any traffic. All right, that is it for tonight. We're going to talk to you kids tomorrow. All right, remember, you know, if you guys think it, I'll say it. You're welcome, America. See you tomorrow night. Outro Music