The Nick DiPaolo Show - A New Low For Lib Media | Nick Di Paolo Show #1588

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the Celtics champs, Mass. attacks families and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Music playing Hey folks, welcome to the show on a Wednesday. How you is? What it was Dallas making some adjustments to the lights trying to tone down my beauty got an age spot on my cheek looks like somebody hit me with a bucket of shit don't appreciate it how you guys doing hi hi everybody it's showbiz yeah and what's funny it was actually not anything new it was an old light that's now starting to fuck up well naturally naturally just like getting old shit starts breaking off and running down and my I give my analogy about getting old is you're in a fucking car you know when

your car starts shit starts going you're like oh time to sell it you can't do that you're stuck in this car you have a heart problem is your transmission yeah that type of shit shit's breaking off but you fucking can't sell it you got to drive it till it fucking yeah till you hit a wall all right folks yeah Wednesday I'm trying to think anything eventful stayed up I read an article I think we're doing a story on it about sleep and I agreed with everything about it cuz I'm the worst I never got over getting excited about staying up late you know I mean I remember in high school being up till three me and my buddy Murph on the fucking phone

we were just fucking not then I get into a Profession where that's the norm, especially when you're young comic you'd stay up till five and get up at noon, whatever and It's not you can do that when you're young, but when you get old I And it's not, you can do that when you're young, but when you get old, I notice once in a while I'll accidentally go to sleep before 1 a.m. and I feel totally better the next day as compared to last night.

Last night, now I woke up at six in the morning, quarter of six yesterday, couldn't get back to sleep so I started preparing for the fucking show. And I figured I was gonna run down and I you know I'm like I'm up I might as well I was drinking coffee me and Dallas did a couple shows put a bitch in kitchen in the can and I don't know what was keeping me and going and then I'm figuring out crash while I'm watching the TV last now fucking still up cut to ten or three last night I'm watching the Red Sox after the Celtics well I'm fucking still up. Cut to 10 of 3 last night. I'm watching the Red Sox after the Celtics.

I'm going to get to it in a second. And eating spaghetti that Dallas and his wife had at 10 of 3 in the morning. This is after dipping into that chicken pot pie that you guys are going to love when you see Thursday. Tomorrow? Is that right? Thursday.

I don't fucking know. Anyways, let's get to it. Number 18 for the Celtics putting them ahead of everybody as far as NBA championship flags. I didn't realize the fucking Lakers had 17. I thought we were miles ahead of them too. Anyways Celtics fans number 18 last night. I know I'm not a big NBA fan and I'm not. All these games, even though it was the Celts, it's my home town. But you know I'm not a big NBA fan and I'm not all these games even though it was the Celts It's my hometown, but you know, I'm not a huge I fucking can't stand the NBA but uh, you know

I this is what I did with these games my usual thing. I fast-forwarded to the third quarter Worked out beautifully didn't miss a thing. So don't tell me it's a great spectator sport for the first hour Anyways What a team. One of the best Celtics teams ever man. Just by their record. Christ I don't know how many they won in the playoffs but they were 60 and something in the regular season. Just from beginning to end tape to tape they were the best team. And here they are outside, the fans counting down the final seconds of game five. I went to one of these parades in the 80s when Larry Burden,

I saw a real Irish-looking kid shit-faced fall from a light pole. Luckily, a couple of his drunk friends broke the fall. Well, not even intentionally. He landed on him. Check it check it out hasn't changed much. Yeah baby, good for the Salts. Tatum was unbelievable last night. Fucking Jason Tatum, who's like the meat and potatoes of the team I got. But you got these other guys.

Again, I just watched the last couple series in a playoffs and I and this is this guy Hulk em what I say is I don't I might even have it wrong, but he's old He said fuck it. He's done This might be his last year, but he can shoot the lights out still from three-point land And he had never won a championship was a fucking fairy tale season Tatum had 31 last night 11 rebounds eight assists and Finals MVP was Jlen brown who was unbelievable that guy and is this other guy and i forget his name drew his first name jrue drew fucking

i forget who's my favorite holiday maybe holiday i think anyways he was my favorite. Jalen Brown added 21 points, eight rebounds. Now this video here says Countdown Dallas. So maybe is this the one that? We already used it. Yeah, you just cued it. So we went around with it. But didn't it say video before this? No. You sure? All right. The of Faithful took to the streets, celebrated the team's first NBA champion in

16 years. Another thing, I was like, didn't they win one about seven, eight years ago? I was thinking of Paul Pierce. It's 16 fucking years ago. I almost fainted when I fucking heard that. First one in 16 years, multiple videos, kept a large crowd of fans yelling fuck Kyrie when they were celebrating Kyrie Irving who's a great player played for the Celt and he showed some class He ran around with a minute left in a game when they took him out hugging the Celtics guys

On video showed fans celebrating on top would appear to be a police van as a group of people You know led the chant fuck Irving But make a note folks again Boston predominantly white as a group of people, you know, led the chant, fuck Irving. But make a note, folks, again, Boston, predominantly white, no burning cars, no flipping over shit. But I shouldn't say that because you know what? White towns do that too. Edmonton and hockey, they go, Vancouver, they go crazy. So I'm a racist.

Anyways, what's new? Photo showed fans burning Mavericks jerseys, climbing trees, street light poles, they're still doing that, or pools as it says, and he can tell these are AI articles, and sign out TD Garden as police patrolled in riot gear. Just want to show you this guy Prichard, very white, Celts always have white dudes on their team. And a couple games ago he hit a shot from half court right before the half ended guess what he did again last night watch this fucking bomb

nothing but cotton He's done it again! That's the kind of year they had. Hey, where are the white women at? Probably at Pritchard's house. He buried that, didn't he? Anyways, good for the Celts. Fuck LA. I hate the Lakers.

Always did. LeBron's perfect for that team. Wasn't a Colby fan either, as far as personality. Player, absolutely, same with LeBron, both of them selfish. That's what the Celts weren't. They played like 1955 basketball. They whipped the ball around until somebody was open. Insane.

Enough for a guy who doesn't like basketball. Let's move on. Massachusetts says fuck the nuclear family. By the way, my home state of Massachusetts, my former state, is now fucking California East. They always wanted to be San Francisco. Not when I was a kid, but lately. And I think they've done it.

Massachusetts House of Representatives unanimously passed the Parentage Act Wednesday, updating the state's parenting laws to include removing the terms mother and father you don't think they're trying to attack the nuclear family and to legalize prostitution in the sale of children it's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy and you can project it back on me. So yeah, you can have, you can lead guys prostitutes.

The bill passed the state house by 156 to nothing, which means not one Republican pushed against it. So we're officially California where you call yourself a Republican and you're really a Marxist cocksucker. Single Republican voting against it, despite the bill permitting prostitution to conceive a child and exchange the term mother

for a person who gave birth. That's because men give birth now. Or genetic surrogate. It all starts with a language, folks. This is pure Marxism. Quit calling them Democrats. They're a language, folks. This is pure Marxism. Quit calling them Democrats. They're a fucking criminal enterprise. The Parentage Act legalized prostitution

by allowing a man who wants to have a child without using IVF or other assisted reproductive methods to purchase sex with a woman with the intent for her to get pregnant with his child. What the hell's wrong with you? You look like a Puerto Rican whore. It's like I'm going to rent you out as an oven.

Bake this and get out of my life. That's fucking great. And I'm not a fucking Pollyanna's type of guy. Come on, what the fuck. Everything that made this country great they're going right after. The contract doesn't have to be written or signed by either party by the way to be

recognized by the law and that funny when they want something bad they just throw it caution to the wind not only that but the biological mom will not be legally considered the parent of the child nor is she entitled to any non-expense related compensation paid for acting as a surrogate. Why do you do that with marriage when a fucking woman leaves a guy? Unlike most states, adoption laws which allow the biological mother to change her mind about giving away her child, the new law requires that the intended parent or the man purchasing the baby have the full rights of parentage immediately.

Oh, now you helpin out the guy if it fucks up by the nuclear family were all for it upon the birth of the child problem you're the fucking problem fucking doctor why on king jam ragga congratulations i'm telling you h you keep looking at me i'm gonna put you in a fucking ground i promise you not this time congratulations they use a man.

Yeah, yeah, that's right. Congratulations, Massachusetts. You're officially stupid. Only thing I like about my home state is my family that still lives there in the sports. Rest is a fucking lost your minds. And the second half of the show, I'm going to tell you what happened to

one of Joe Biden's Secret Service guys when he was doing that fundraiser out in LA in Hollywood He was a victim of his own bosses fucking economic policies basically and I'm gonna tell you what a McDonald employee did that will even shock you. I and I know we've seen a lot of shit But this one made me laugh. So glad him hard going what is going on get all full full episodes of the Nick DePaul show and lot of the crowd four days a week Brian Callan and mr. Guns and gear weekly and exclusively live streams with Alex Jones

You're gonna get all that for nine bucks a month for 89 dollars annually. That's exclusively on mug club So sign up now and for you listeners out there We are now uploading the complete audio version of my show in addition to the video So watches can still access the video version as normal Hey boys and girls head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats t-shirts hoodies and more Which yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nick Assurance.

Just go to nickdip.com and click on Store. Again, that's nickdip.com, click on Store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Let's move on, shall we? Can you imagine that though? I want to have a hook and I have my... That's what guys have been doing for years. They want, right?

I fucking hear. Not all guys want children, but the ones that do. If you could say, you don't have to have a wife either, to pin your daughter a scale. Okay. How about Belichick? Is he our new hero or what? He's banging a 14 on a scalable. I can't even.

I was talking about Colin Quinn on the phone with a fucking belly laughing. But remember she was going over something philosophical when they met. She was doing some philosophy. Oh, good. Okay, Madam Curie. That, that doesn't even make sense. Anyway, let's move on. A new loathe for the United States left-wing media, and you're like, what else could they do? How about this? The Gaza-based reporter, we talked about this a week or two ago who held three Israeli hostages captive at his home he worked for a US nonprofit accused of providing material support to Hamas so you have nonprofit

agencies which you know the Dems they always use those non-governmental NGOs these PACs this not anytime you see nonprofit it's all about what it what they do is raise funds, folks, whether it's for climate change, and then they'll put it towards some other thing. It's just about getting the dollars. U.S. nonprofit accused of providing material support to Hamas. Hamas, a group that this country has designated as terrorists, yet we have people on the payroll providing material support to MAS, we are hard left professor Noam Chomsky, everybody's

left wing hero, even he said, I quoted him last year, he said something about the Democrats being out of control, this is a fucking father of like far left, you know. Noam Chomsky sits on the board of directors, so he's still a scumbag. Abdallah al-Jamal, gee, they always have that suit, they got it fucking jihadi warehouse. No, exactly, exactly. An educated terrorist is our best consumer. Abdel Al-Jamal, he was killed by the Israeli defense forces during the raid. Remember they raided and saved some hostages from his home in New Surat.

By the way, that town is mentioned about a hundred times in fowler that's why you gotta watch that show uh so he got at least he got whacked but this guy is posing as a he wasn't posing he's a journalist and he had hostages at his fucking house he was a regular correspondent for the Palestine Chronicle one of my favorite publications when I heard Palestine Chronicle I was gonna go oh that must be like a newspaper in the Gaza Strip no that's an Olympia Washington naturally naturally right when you think a mass you think Seattle well maybe you do now Olympia Washington You know what's funny about that?

That's weird. Like, that, like the fucking white supremacists, if they're the 10 that are around, they're always in Washington state, right? Practicing. So, why don't they just? There's this weird buffer. You have the mountains that separate all the hard left to the hard right. That's right.

That's right. It's almost like North and South Korea assumption. Washington state based news outlet established in 1999 with sister publications in France and Italy. So this is a worldwide infection. Al Jemals are and by the way, read your fucking Quran. I do every night. No, just just read your history of Muslims and since the beginning of time, this is what they do. They set up shop in countries and try to take over the fuck. And it's worked pretty good. And it's going to work even better now that we're helping.

What the fuck? Anyways, Al Jemal's articles for the website lamenting the evils of war continued until just before June 8une eight what happened that all that's when the fuck that israelis came and said yeah many seemingly a written his articles uh... seemingly written while jewish hostages taken by her mass in their october seventh terror attack were captives at his house hd's issues

issues the jews are probably helping him with spelling and grammar. The National Jewish Advocacy Center, I used to be a fullback in that league, a nonprofit based in Atlanta, there's those phrase again, nonprofit, is now demanding that the Department of Justice, oh that's a good one, and FBI investigate the Palestine Chronicle. What's the least you could do? The advocacy center also said Al Jamal had worked as a spokesman for Maas in Gaza's what, Ministry of Labor? Derka derka, Muhammad Jihad. That's the Haka Sherpa Sherpa a bakala. It's like he just said come down

everything's half off on our been laden weekend the Ministry of Labor wiring, you know manure anything related to bombs wiring manure Tell you a bag of shit coming Walmart you get on the Al J Jemal 36 fired regular reports, files, not fired, I'm mixing my tariffs with my journalists. Again, there's that beautiful suit he got off, he got off a fucking, a low level associate

from the Gambino family. He was filing regular reports on the fighting in Gaza for the Palestine Chronicle which listed him as quote-unquote a correspondent on June 8th the day the hostages and that's the day he bought the farm the day the hostages Elmog Meyer, John, Andrei Kozlov and Shomi Ziv, my former agent, were rescued from his residence. How happy are happy these guys in an apparent attempt to distance themselves from Al-Jamal a day later he was listed as a freelance contributor on the website on the outlets website according to a June 10th letter sent to the Department of Justice

by the National Jewish Advocacy Center in seen by the post so I again why do you people hate you so much i i i again yet maybe they are running the world what have they they maybe you know they maybe they do the control the united states government i don't know maybe they don't alls i know is i don't see them blowing up kids all over the and every country

over there and and and slaughtering Christians and whatever the well they could they believe the same thing as person almost anyway the letter I could be naive you guys could be right but look at this guy's haircut you're gonna trust you're gonna fucking trust Eddie Munster in a men's warehouses the the Butch Patrick was the guy's name I can't believe Dallasallas is even too young for that mother fucker the letter you've seen the monsters though right the kids got the widow

uh... he's like yeah i just didn't find him funny the letter also noted how united states entities which knowingly provide material support to terrorist organizations could be in violation of terrorism laws and subject to criminal penalties. Do you think? Could we get any lower as far as the media goes? My aching

stem. That t-shirt should be coming out too. People are clamoring for delicious, my aching stem. Are you dog styling me? And by the way, Andy's making the moves. We got a new, we got a company that's gonna push these out and so keep requesting them folks. Eventually you're gonna, we changed our methods. We can start doing these things and I can start shopping at Walmart again. For those of you guys at Mug Club,

stick around for the rest of my show, the second half. Everyone else go to nickdip.com. Tuck, tuck, ding-a-ling-a-y. Dink-a-dink-a. Dink-a-dink-a. Everyone else go to nick dip dot com. Everyone else go to nick dip dot com and join to get my full show. Steven Crowder's full show which is killer and a whole lot more and while you're there at nick dip dot com you can click on the button that says tour dates and you'll see this you'll see that I'm gonna be live and I'm much better I'm like I'm like the stones I'm best seen

live. August knife Jacksonville Center for the Performing Arts. I just love saying that because that's a real venue. In Jacksonville, Florida. It's the Terry Theater, I think, inside the Performing Arts Center. And then the very next night, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to be at the Gass South Theater in Duluth, Georgia.

That's August 10. I can't wait Nick Nick the baller may be tired a stand-up after 38 years But he puts out like a three dollar whore when he's on that stage who can now become a surrogate What do you mean oh I can have a baby me 2024 how'd you for how'd, I gotta write a bit on that. It's a good point. I can become a surgeon. Hi, good night everybody. I won't take all that they hand me down And make out a smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all life down Cause once I get started I go to town

Cause I'm not like everybody else, no no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else, whoa I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else And I don't wanna be destroyed like everybody else And I don't wanna get in trouble like everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else

See you singing, what are you? I'm not like everybody else