The Nick DiPaolo Show - Acosta Accosted by Fauci | Nick DiPaolo Show #326

Episode Date: April 1, 2020

Hospital exec wishes Covid-19 on Trump supporters. Gov. Cuomo's nipples. Pit bull on high speed chase. Thank you "Joe Mama" for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon! FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hi, guys. Tina Louise here. That's right. You remember me from Gilligan's Island. I look different now. I'm transitioning. Look, political correctness is trying to stifle guys like me. I explained to my friends, you know, I hear black and brown comedians and women complaining about political correctness. I go, what are you talking about? It was invented to protect you. It's to shut people up like me, straight white male Christians. People up like me, straight white male Christians. And I've had enough, especially as a comedian. I get, you know, I get blackballed on fucking Twitter. They shadow ban me. Google will take down certain shows.

You know the story. That's why we created this show right here, the Nick DiPaolo podcast, Monday through Thursday. And we just went free, meaning we're trying to grow the show. And the only way you can do it is with your support, with daily contributions at nickdip.com. You can also sign up at patreon.com, become a monthly supporter. And if you do that, you're going to get an extra story every day nobody gets. You can ask me questions and you'll have access to over 300 shows that we've done previously. We can't thank you enough for your support. There's very few places we can talk like this. And the truth is right wingers are funnier than anybody. Why? Because we have truth on our side. Two types of people in this world, politically correct people and people who are for the truth.

So let's have a sense of humor about it. and we can only do this show with your help. So I can't thank you enough. Now, I want you all to enjoy the show, so enjoy. All righty Yeah, how are you folks? Good morning, afternoon, evening Whenever you watch, whenever you listen It's, uh, why is this so fucking echoey? Aye, aye, aye, aye, fucking aye, aye

I'm picking up everything. Sounds like I'm in a tunnel. That's not you, Raz. It's these fucking headphones. How are you, folks? I always have to start the show. I'm bitching about the... And it's...

Whatever. It's Wednesday. It's Wednesday. Six o'clock already. I was just in the middle of a dream. o'clock already I was just in the middle of a dream I was stabbing Nancy Pelosi by a crystal blue Italian stream these are my dirty whore cut off her head buried in my kitchen floor it's just another dirty Wednesday anyways how you doing folks I'm doing all right.

Mr. DePaulo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to be disliked. I have Nick the Pig as a friend. That's right. You got me as a friend. Nick the Pig. You know, Nick, if you didn't curse as much, they'd put you on Fox. Well, Fox can suck my tits

how about that hey shout out right now to a very loyal fan who we love michael cayley he sent a message to me saying nick i just wanted to i just wanted you to know how much your show each day has meant to me i'm going through 18 months of cancer treatments and a friend got me this subscription it's a daily bright spot for me keep up your great work my friend you keep it up michael uh i appreciate man that's tough 18 months of uh of uh cancer treatments i've had relatives go through that stuff hang in there man i'm glad we could provide a little relief between coronavirus, your cancer, fucking Nancy

Pelosi. It's a horrible world. You know what I'm saying? Hang in there, buddy. We love you. Good to hear stuff like that. You forget, this stuff means a lot to people, you know? And thank you to your friend for subscribing. Good man.

What's going on today? A little levity to break through the coronavirus. By the way, Trump said it's going to be a tough couple of weeks. He's very somber and blah, blah, blah. And Jim Acosta is whacking his little peepee over that. We'll get to that in a few minutes. But I love Larry David and Larry David sent the message to the world yesterday about Corona. What you should be doing. Oh, I'm Larry David sent the message to the world yesterday about Corona and what you should be doing. Oh, I'm Larry David. Obviously, somebody put me up to this because it's generally not the kind of thing I do. But look what he's wearing. I basically want to address the idiots out there. And you know who you are. You're going out. I don't know what you're doing.

You're you're socializing too close. It's it's not good. You're going out. I don't know what you're doing. You're socializing too close. It's not good. You're hurting old people like me. Well, not me. I have nothing to do with you. I'll never see you. But, you know, let's say other old people who might be your relatives. Who the hell knows?

But the problem is you're passing up a fantastic opportunity, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to stay in the house, sit on the couch and watch TV. You are correct. I mean, I don't know how you're passing that up. Well, because you're not that bright. But here it is. Go home, watch TV.

That's my advice to you. It's my soulmate right now. You know, if you've seen my show, nothing good ever happens going out of the house. You know that. There's just trouble out there. It's not a good place to be. So stay home

and don't see anyone. Except maybe if there's a plumbing emergency, let the plumber in and then wipe everything down after he leaves. But that's it. Look at his shirt. Look at his pant.

Would you know he's worth $70 trillion? Look at his finger. It's bent. Larry goddamn David. God bless him. We could have said that was Bernie Sanders, but fucking guy kills me. Looks like he's got big mitts. I don't know. You know, I had a chance to audition for the Larry

David show, Curb, and I was living in Westchester. I didn't want to fucking, I didn't want it. They wanted me in there at like 9 a.m. and I'm not fucking fighting the traffic. That's what I did. I was stupid. I fucking absolutely loved that guy. But I had just driven into the city like

eight times in a row to do shit i go up i don't care if it's jesus christ want me to read something from the psalms here's this thing too trying to get off cigarettes this is all nicotine some vape it's always good to be fucking with your lungs while the coronavirus is taking people out every three minutes. But you're not supposed to suck on this like a lollipop for 24 hours a day. By noontime, I'm like this. I can't feel my ass and my legs. Fucking God. But good to hear from fucking Larry. Let's get right to it, huh? But good to hear from fucking Larry. Let's get right to it, huh?

Hospital executive fired a woman for suggesting Trump supporters should infect each other with a coronavirus. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! A top hospital executive in New York State has been fired for suggesting that supporters of President Trump should infect each other with the virus. And Laura Krolczyk, there she is. Boy, blonde and stupid. Here's a fucking new combination. Who worked as the vice president for external

affairs at the Roswell Park Comprehensive Cancer Center in Buffalo was terminated after she slammed Trump's response to the pandemic and a Facebook exchange. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired.

You're fired. Here's the Facebook exchange. You put it up there as a screenshot of the exchange shows Kroslik telling Lisa La Travato, the director of development at Hoffman Woodward Medical Research Institute, that Trump supporters need to pledge to give up their ventilators for someone else and not go to the hospital la travata has been placed on administrative leave from her position but this douchebag was fired their exchange was brought to the attention of the institutions after republican operative michael caputo

shared it on his twitter caputo shared screen grabs of Krosnick's Facebook comments. They were written under an article by the Hill News site about the president's reluctance to pay a billion dollars to GM and Ventec for ventilator production. By the way, he smoothed that out and General Motors is doing a fine job, apparently, after some reluctance um according to caputo krolzik earned 226 580 dollars last year uh wrote vote trump in the caption of the post la travata responded to krolik's post but we'll waste more than that on a wall in the space force so she's agreeing with us so why didn't she get canned that comment prompted krolzzik to write, Trump supporters need to pledge to give up their ventilators for someone else and not go to the hospital.

You fucking whore. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. I think they should be the only ones in packed churches on Sunday, La Trovato responded. This is the broad who didn't get fired. Krolzik then wrote, they should barricade themselves in there

and ride this out. La Travata replied, yep. Fucking whore. Another user also commented on Facebook post saying, wow, just wow. So you're saying who decide, saying we decide who lives and dies based

on political views. Great plan. Thumbs up. That person was exactly right. Krolzik responded to that person by saying, don't cash your stimulus check. It's all a hoax. Choose some ibuprofen and be on with your day, she says.

Giving out fucking false information. That's another. Roswell Park called Kroslick's comments inappropriate and said they didn't reflect the opinions of Roswell Park on its senior leadership. In a statement released over the weekend, Roswell Parks said, that's the hospital,

this employee was terminated today. That was on Saturday after our human resources team concluded its investigation. Bye bye, dickhead. Yeah, so why don't you go do what you do best, lay on your back. How brainwashed. She's in the medical field, yet she buys what fucking Rachel Maddow and Jim Acosta spew.

What does that tell you? These are the people that are going to save your lives? Walk the streets of Buffalo, wherever you are, you dirty, rotten cutie pie. Blonde hair, blue-eyed devil. Speaking of blue-eyed devils, we haven't talked about this guy in six minutes. Six minutes? What am I, can canadian i got a good three penalty it was six minute met a girl with a two big tit had 10 12 bear now we have three four kid that's how the canadian hockey players talk i love the new york ranger i've been with them for

for 12 season last year i have 45 goal uh tree assists joe biden another gaffe performance they got him locked in his house it's another thing the coronavirus would kill everybody that's uh running for president everybody in the late hundreds as don gava would say but uh joe biden showed his face yesterday what are we doing what's going on right now the presumptive democrat presidential nominee conducted a gaff-filled interview on MSNBC Monday, kicking off his media appearance by referring to the epicenter of the coronavirus

by the wrong name. He just makes up shit when he forgets. He calls it, instead of Wuhan, he calls it Luhan. Watch this jack-off. Said that we should have people in China at the outset of this event. And when it all started in Lujan province. Lujan province. Is that where it started? Lujan. I went to school

in Lujan. He's in jail for being stupider than you. Fucking Lujan province. Why don't you go order some General Tso's chicken, you fucking dinkweed. Go ahead. The first one to call for the president way back in January 17th. Pause. That's a lie. He wrote an op-ed calling for Trump to, you know, wake up to the viral. It really came out on the 27th. So he fucking lies about that. Go ahead.

Forgive me the time. Thank you. So they don't wonder where I am. Now I know. Now I know, said the cute little girl who votes Democrat would suck Joe's dick just to get ahead. Stupid little weasel. He shows his face for a minute and he gets three things wrong. And this is the presumptive Democrat nominee. That's about right. All my years I've been hearing how stupid Republicans are. Reagan was a B-actor and

an idiot. George Bush was retarded. They might have had that one right a little bit. But, you know, it's all I've been fucking hearing. When we, you know, that's the, he's this far from being president. That should scare the shit out of you. Guy is not fit to, by the way,

Cuomo's going to make his move. They're going to throw him in there Fonzie with his leather jacket and pierced nipples. That's what I think. Anyways, then they go on to point out all the mistakes he made. As he did last week, Biden again, gave the wrong date for a USA Today op-ed

penned on the virus, again claiming he posted it on the 17th, like I just told you. But it was really January 27th. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. The ex-VP also mixed up his drug stores and government agencies, accidentally referring to CBS and CBC. Three letters he can't get right. You know, like jobs. Three-letter word, J-O-B-S, jobs.

Can't even count. Somebody get him to a nursing home. Will you? Let him call bingo. What a fucking retard he is. What are we doing? What's going on right now? We're laughing at you, Joe.

It's unbelievable. How What are we doing? What's going on right now? We're laughing at you, Joe. It's unbelievable. How desperate are the Democrats? Cuomo might have a shot. I don't know how it all works. You know, come convention time, you're going to have so many delegates and shit, whatever. But they'll use Joe as a puppet if he wins. Can you imagine Trump would have won this in a landslide, but then the Chinese

had to fucking have batwing appetizers and poison us all those fucking filthy radio makers what do you see that sticker back there that's my work it's the only thing that looks horrible look at the light reflecting on it nice Nice going, Nick. You're a real... Just the bias is unbelievable. Fucking CNN is relentless, shameless. Jim Acosta. Hey, you know we haven't seen Reza lately? This one good thing about

the virus? I hope he has it. Where's the fucking pencil-necked geek Adam Schiff? He went back under his rock, didn't he? After embarrassing himself for, what, the third time? Where has he been please please i hope he just got back from wuhan and was blown by four ladies in the late 70s dr anthony fauci uh cautioned cnn's this is how bad acosta is now he's got fauci telling him to

cut the shit uh cautioned acosta for taking him out of context while responding to his question at the White House press briefing yesterday. Acosta asked the federal doctors if the United States could have prevented more deaths. This is all he he keeps bringing this up by acting to mitigate the virus sooner with social distancing guidelines. Here is Fauci putting him in his place. Underscore what Dr. Birx was saying if there was no virus in the background there was nothing to mitigate if there was virus there that we didn't know about

then the answer to your question is probably yes now the only trouble with that is that whenever you come out and say something like that it always becomes almost a sound bite that gets taken out of context yeah okay you got a doctor saying what a hack you are okay and we all know Fauci after watching him for the last

month or so he's not exactly a right winger he's rolling his eyes behind when Trump says shitting but can you imagine Acosta you fucking little cancer you you're worse than the virus ah both burks that's the woman uh doctor and falchi said it was on a clear unclear precisely when the virus was infecting people in the u.s even though cases were not apparent in a perfect world it would have been nice to know what was going on there we didn't he said but i uh but i believe jim that we acted very, very early on that. Of course, CNN was screaming when Trump, you know, blocked people coming over from China. Remember, he was a racist and a bigot. And even Fauci said that saved thousands of lives. Trump said it saves trillions. He's up to one point eight trillion lives, he said. He really loves his hyperbole he shouldn't talk so much during these things because this is about

science and medical science and his you know i mean not a strong suit answer a couple but don't keep feeding these people trump added that he acted early to stop travel from china at the end of january to help prevent the virus from spreading and uh you know he said we were very we're very early i also think we were very smart i'm very smart you know what my iq is jim you're fucking dope then costa goes on cnn guy he's like the virus and he keeps popping up and he goes on cnn and explains uh how that uh trump is nervous right now. Watch this. Anderson, I have to tell you, sitting in that room that close to him,

I've never seen President Trump like this. And I think to some extent he is he is scared right now. You need to shut the fuck up. We could all feel that in the room. Is that right? Because you're the only one saying it. So Trump can't win. You know what I mean?

He becomes somber. He's yelling at him for being a cheerleader at the beginning and being overly optimistic. Now he's scared. Now he's scared. He's the president. He's supposed to be a cheerleader and keep people calm. Oh, my God. Fucking CNN. he's supposed to be a cheerleader and keep people calm oh my god fucking cnn i wonder what trump did

to zucker the guy who runs cnn that it makes zucker send his little soldiers out his little puppeteers to keep attacking and attacking and he's asking the question he was asking a month ago couldn't we have couldn't we've acted you should be asking a question china why did china lie when all this came we still don't know how many people died i read a story a couple days ago they have they found like hundreds of thousands of urns you know you put ashes in all of a sudden those are selling briskly over there they're not putting duck sauce in those things. Nick, why would a trucking young owl? But I mean, he's a fucking retard. I think your brain is going soft. You don't got a brain to go soft, that Mama Luke.

Hey, real quickly, I want to thank you people. You contributors, again, because we've gone free four days a week to make the show grow, which it's doing. free four days a week to make the show grow which it's doing my my great manager tommy sent me libsyn numbers and all kinds of uh graphs and pie charts was like reading usa today but all these fucking spreadsheets that i i couldn't read if i you know but i did i can see a graph and it's going like this it's like the virus deaths we're climbing it's a horrible analogy. But thank you, people, because you are the lifeblood. We rely on your contributions at NickDip.com. I want to thank Lyle Nagy, California, Ryan Contola, Canada, Karen Smith from Australia, Jeff Crowley, Washington, Sean Grace, Massachusetts, Rosemary Vaccaro. Love that name. Where else? New Jersey. Rosemary, thank you so much for the balloons and the clams. Timothy Trent, Arizona. Carmelo Ando, New York.

Christopher Miller, Canada. Thomas Kirko, Ohio. Samuel Robbins, Pennsylvania. Thomas Daly, California. James Aaron, Kentucky, Robert Dean, Florida. Hey, I can read all these names. Ralph Lickmyhairysackledger, Florida. Jesus Christ. William LaSalla, New York. Carlo Casagrande, Florida. You know what that, Raz, what's the translation of that?

Florida's house. That's fucking right. That's right. Raz graduated DeVry Flying Colors. Carlo Casagrande. That's a great name for a drug dealer. John Corey, New York. And listen to this.

We're still getting subscribers to Patreon. These are monthly subscribers. And when you do that, you get an extra story every day that nobody else gets. You get to ask me a question and you get access to all the past shows. Eric Stallman. Thank you so much. Backlash. LaVon Younan. Sean McChrystal and Joe Mama or Mama. Joe Mama Grand. Joe Mama Grande. You know what that is? That's Spanish for big tits. Thank you guys so much. You're letting us get on with our work here, which is needed. After watching CNN and all the fucking liars. Speaking of CNN, Chris Cuomo. We missed this.

This was breaking news yesterday, right before we went on to record the show, so we didn't get to it. So I know you guys know this, but Chris Cuomo, you know who he is, right? Fredo, you know who he is. And the things I'm smart, I'm like everybody says, but don't, I'm smart,

and I want to stand. Ah, what about him? Well, yesterday he said he's been diagnosed with COVID-19. He said he's feeling well. We'll continue to anchor his 9 p.m. show with Cuomo primetime from his home. I got to admit, folks, and I know it's a little giddy bias on my part. These guys, when they're not spewing their propaganda, which makes me hate them, but the Cuomo boys, you know, they bust each other's balls, and I kind of like them. A little bit.

A little bit. Until he gets back into, what did I say, Raz, a couple days ago? I said, I hope CNN gets a coronavirus in the studio. Who else should I wish dead today? He says he's feeling well, and he's shitting blood and throwing up diarrhea but uh throwing up diarrhea did i just say that have you ever done that john wayne used to do that they took his stomach out he had stomach cancer they they hooked up his intestines like to his esophagus. Imagine him burping. Holy shit. Your breath is like shit.

Well, my fucking ass pipe's connected to my throat. I just threw up some shit. I drank some ginger ale, went to burp. It smelled like shit. Boy, I can do it all. Cuomo was recently at cnn's office in the hudson yards neighborhood of new york city last friday he anchored from his home on monday because he's very sick and that's what you hear from his house uh he anchored from his house on monday interviewed his brother governor andrew cuomo the two men traded brotherly barbs, which is what I like about.

You can tell they love each other about the anchor man's basement live shot. Look, his governor brother's busting his balls. What are you doing, a podcast, you schmuck? We will all beat this by being smart and tough and united. Chris wrote, Governor Cuomo spoke about his brother's positive test result at new york state's daily briefing the virus is the great equalizer he said my brother chris is positive for coronavirus i found it out this morning the governor called chris my best friend and he added a little bit of the good-natured ribbing they're known for

he's young in good shape strong not as strong as he thinks. Oh, you're busting his balls. He is pretty strong, though. I've seen him working out with those. I've seen him? What am I, fucking fourth-grade education? I've seen him on the street. This black lady made me laugh when I first moved to Georgia.

I was just telling Raz, Nick, why do you have to point it out? Because it's funny. I'm in a supermarket. They smoke ham hocks in the back. It smells delicious. You walk in there, you get hungry. I said to her, just to make conversation, I go, she had a bandana on, you know, belly shirt. Looked like she was pregnant.

I go, God, it smells good in here, doesn't she? Go, yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. Which is the name of my next special. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do. Which is the name of my next special. Yeah, I do. Anyways, the governor said the virus is the great equalizer. My brother, Chris, I think I already said that. Anyways, they spoke on the phone on Tuesday. Now he's quarantined in the basement, but he says he's still as funny as hell to me.

Even the dogs don't come downstairs. This is the third case of coronavirus involving CNN's workspace in New York. If we can just get it to spread a little faster. Now I sound like the woman in the hospital. Employees are notified of another case in mid-March. By the way, my dad is in, you know, he's got fucking Alzheimer's and he's in a nursing home. Somebody has it there. And my mom,

we put her in assisted living even though she's more spry than I am. She got her own one-bedroom apartment. She's kicking ass. But somebody can't keep her out of Marshalls and TJ Maxx. She's fucking 82. Still driving around.

They're like, what are you doing? People are dying. I saw some shoes. I got to get them shoes. Somebody in her complex has it. So she's on lockdown. I said, Matt, break out your sex toys. What?

The fuck's that? That was gross. Where's my magic wand? Oh, no. Wrong hole. What? Oh, my God. This show's taking an ugly turn. More nicotine, please. This makes me drowsy. I was supposed to work out yesterday, but it was kind of raining.

I work outside. I have a cement thing in front of my, it looks like a prison yard. It's a cement with weights all over. Let's stay on the Cuomos, huh? Because they seem to be making tremendous, and this is an important story. I want you to listen up here. This is the kind of news that only we can break here. The governor Cuomo set the internet on fire with wild speculation yesterday that two bizarre

protrusions seen poking from under his shirt were actually nipple rings. Nipple rings. Twitter and Reddit users furiously debated just what was going on under Cuomo's official white polo. I can tell you in two seconds. First, those aren't nipple rings. He's got innies for nipples. I used to hate that when I was single.

Take a girl's bra off and she had fucking dents in her tits. I used to look for my fucking bottle of trying to pull them back out. I like a nice fucking one and a quarter inch. They can poke your eyes out. You can see they are excited. You better start hitting the weights there, governor. I like I was zooming in like this is fucking the ID network. They they found the killer.

These DNA samples and fucking close ups of his nipples. Two indentations. He's not going to have nipple rings. He's an old gindaloon. Come on. But the people fighting on Twitter, just what was going on to reassure it. But as his spokesman threw a bucket of cold water on the idea he's uh said of course not sorry internet senior aid rich as a party holy shit he's got all damn

bean on my it's on his fucking nipples what's the matter with you the denial came after users keeping abreast oh stop with the of. That's what they put in the article of the Jesus of the governor's daily coronavirus briefing, spotted the apparent jewelry through his state of emergency shirt. Somebody tweeted, is it just me or is Cuomo's nipples totally pierced? Which turned into a Reddit thread. Then somebody said, there's definitely something going on under there, one user wrote, with another dubbing the possible piercings the single greatest discovery by humanity.

And that person said, if it is nipple rings, I like them even more, said the dirty whore from New Jersey, some housewife in her 60s. Fucking like to hang from those nipple rings and do pull-ups. like the hang from those nipple rings and do pull-ups.

Some cyber sleuths tried to find alternate theories like maybe Cuomo tapes his nipples to prevent chafing or that they're unusually shaped, which is the real answer in my opinion. I've seen a lot of nipples. A lot of nipples in my day, both male and i mean i used to tell people i'd do a show and i'd be selling cds after i'd go uh 10 of the 15 of the sales go to breast cancer research and then i'd say but not really if i could i take the money from the cds and buy girls drinks and hope you see their tits same thing i'll check you for lumps at the Funny Bone Lobby.

My wife thought that was hilarious. You guys know we have a new sponsor, right? Let me put this on. These guys, this guy's great. This guy does Trump paraphernalia and merchandising. And we're going to put some stuff. Besides being sponsors of the show, thedonaldstuff.com are big fans. They heard me talking about New York's Governor Cuomo on Monday,

and they came up with this new T-shirt design. Do you have this one, Raz? I called them. Don't you talk to Tommy? Don't you get these emails? He didn't send me another one. Yes, he did. I like that one.

But I refer to Cuomo as Fonzie. You don't have that one in the thing, Raz? No. These guys make great stuff. This shirt is on the site under the Nick DiPaolo Show Collection. But you should go to thedonaldstuff.com and check out all of their gear. When you use the promo code Nick, you get 10% off not just the shirt, but everything on the website. Go to thedonaldstuff.com, pick up a shirt or a mug or a hat, and we can use it now,

and support these guys, and we thank them for sponsoring this show. That's my favorite because I'm on it. You got Hiawatha or Liowatha. Look, she actually looks cute there. I love pigtails on a bra. Not that one. Anyways, I used to jerk off to the St. Pauli girl. I'm going to blonde pigtails.

That's horrible. Oh, suck it. Hey, everybody. We're all going to get laid. More coronavirus. Oh, goodness. Hold on. Lung.

I call that lung custard. All right. Hundred. Listen to this. I love this lady. This made me sad. A hundred and eight year old British woman. I say that. She survived the 1918 Spanish flu. She succumbed to the coronavirus.

Goddamn Chinese are worse than the Spanish. Look at that lady. Sweet as a. She's been through all kinds. She has the shoulders and neck of Adam Schiff. Poor Grammy. Imagine that, 108. She's got fucking less wrinkles than I do. 108 years old. She beat the Spanish flu. And then this Chinese virus took her fucking down.

Hilda Churchill died in Salford Nursing Home on Saturday, hours after testing positive for the COVID-19, and just eight days before her 109th birthday. I know I have some fucking audio of her here somewhere, don't I? Please tell me I do, ladies and gentlemen. Don't tell me I didn't put it on. It's on there? It is. I played it for you, right?

Yep. You say you're a little tired this morning. Is that right? I am tired. She is very tired. That's actually, I heard, your favorite activity to do at the center here is to take a little nap. Take a nap as many times as I can. That wasn't her.

It was another old lady I was dating. Oh, God bless her, huh? Excuse me. She's the oldest non-coronavirus victim in the UK. Hilda was born in 1911, seven years before the Spanish flu, whacked out, infected a half of 500, half a billion people worldwide and killed her 12-month-old baby sister. It was never something she talked about

being frightened of, though, said her grandson, who's in his late hundreds, Anthony Churchill. But she was scared of this new virus. She survived so much, and this was just another thing Anthony said. She was a person who just got on with things, never asked for sympathy but she was scared of this new virus. She survived so much, and this was just another thing Anthony said. She was a person who just got on with things, never asked for sympathy or said she was hard done by. I don't know what that means.

The last time Anthony visited his grandmother, they chatted about Tom Brady being half a fag. What? That didn't. No. They chatted about the coronavirus. She said it was very similar to the Spanish flu, but in her day, there were no planes and somehow, this is a great point,

the Spanish flu managed to spread everywhere, even without planes and trains and automobiles. Hilda and most of her family became infected with the Spanish flu while living in Crewe in Cheshire, where Raz has a timeshare with Nancy Pelosi's cousin, Tara. What? She remembers everyone getting it and her mother

trying to look after them and her father collapsing in a street and having to be carried home. Jesus. She was a seamstress. Hilda moved to Southwood during the Great Depression. Can you imagine going through all this? Great Depression, Spanish flu, yeast infections, grandchildren. I mean, mother of God. She had four children, 11 grandchildren, 12 great-grandchildren, three great-great-grandchildren. That sounds like a black woman in her 30s.

That was a great joke. Put that in the clip. Write it down in the time rest. Anyway, she had been in good health until a fall. She fell down. They moved her into a nursing home 10 months ago. You want to kill anybody old? Bring them to a nursing home.

Her nephew said she had a fall and her legs just packed up She never understood how she got so old I think it was the hard work that kept it going And good genes, Anthony said That and smoking some weed that Snoop used to send her But she sounded like a ball of energy, didn't she? You say you're a little tired this morning, is that right? I am tired.

She is very tired. That's actually, I heard, your favorite activity to do at the center here is to take a little nap. Take a nap as many times as I can. I wish you said that's not an activity,, you know, fucking young whippersnapper. I got the blood sugar of a fucking owl with cancer. What do you think? But this coronavirus, one of the issues with a pandemic, right, is, you know, the government's telling us what to do, which we never like. But, you know, I'm not a big proponent of big government,

but they should be there for situations like this. But now it's getting a little touchy with civil rights and them telling you to get off the streets and stuff. And this story enraged me and a lot of Americans. The owner of a South Arlington, that's Arlington, Virginia, where I play many times. The owner of a South Arlington smoke shop is outraged after his employee was charged with multiple crimes for shooting a suspect who had allegedly broken into the business. That owner says the employee used a gun that the owner had bought because he feared just such a crime during the coronavirus pandemic would occur. Here's the owner of the smoke shop. Car hit the store. That's how loud it was. To Hamza sounded like a loud shotgun noise. The owner of the Arlington smoke shop says his employee Hamza Abusharia, a father of two children who were not there, had been sleeping at the store to save money and to avoid the coronavirus after it hit his D.C. apartment complex.

Early Sunday morning, he says, three burglars smashed this rock through his glass door in an attempt to steal cash and merchandise. From what he said, he has never been scared in his life like this. Arlington County police say Abusharia grabbed a gun in a back room, opened the door and fired, went back in the room and came out and fired again as the suspects were trying to run away. He hit a juvenile suspect who is expected to be okay. Now Abusharia faces multiple charges, including reckless handling of a firearm and malicious wounding. Owner Jawan Akraoui is outraged, saying this was clearly self-defense. 4.30 a.m., three masked men entering your home.

What color? Your sleep. Put yourself in that position and you'll have a, I guess, a better understanding. Do you get that? Three guys break in. He's defending himself. Wounds one of them. He's in jail. he's defending himself wounds one of them he's in jail and he's in jail this is what's creepy about this pandemic the far left anti-gun jerk-offs do you know they're closing gun shops and if that's not bad enough what else are they doing letting people out of jail because they don't want the people working in the prisons to get sick putting criminals back on the street not letting you buy fucking guns and when you do defend yourself throwing you in jail if we haven't fucking

reached the height of lunacy in this country uh the juvenile who was shot is unfortunately expected to survive i put the unfortunately in there i i don't want him to die but i hope he goes to jail. Arlington County Police say charges are anticipated in the breaking and entry. Do you think? But Abu Sharia is also already facing three charges. Do you fucking believe this? This committee owes an apology. This committee owes an apology.

Apology, Senator. The charges are malicious wounding. Who comes up with these? Malicious, as opposed to what? A nice, sensible wounding? What the fuck does that mean? Reckless handling of a firearm. That's reckless?

Three people break into where you're sleeping at four in the morning with masks on, and you fucking pull your gun after they break your window, and that's a reckless handling of a firearm in violation of a protective order. Arlington County Police say the third charge is because Abu Sharia had been ordered

not to have a firearm. Okay. Let's dig a little deeper. The owner, Joan Akwawi, and that guy, that owner we just played, he grew up in Arlington. Guys get an accent like he got here 10 minutes ago. It's like Lawrence Welk. The guy was born here.

Thank you so much, everybody. Bobby and his sissy singing when the bucket's full, dump it. Now a word from Triscuits. Fucking guy was born in America. He's outraged, and he feels the shooting have been considered self-defense. Yeah, I think so. You are correct, sir. ABC7 received a statement from Arlington Commonwealth's attorney, Parisa Dengani Tafty. Jesus Christ, are there any Mary Jones or Bill Johnson's left? It's like I'm reading off a list of ISIS members. Fuck it. Hey, take it easy, Archie Bunker. Yeah, I know.

Anyways, this is a statement from the Arlington Commonwealth attorney. And he or she says, I can't tell. I don't know what Parisa is. i cannot ethically discuss an ongoing investigation because doing so would not only risk compromising our work but also unfairly impede on the rights of the accused and interfere with the fuck the rights of the accused well that's the guy i guess who's in jail i was thinking it was the guy who busted in uh that's how fucking crazy suffice it to say there is evidence we are not at liberty so maybe there's more going on with this guy that pulled the gun i want to know why he wasn't supposed to have a gun um we're not at liberty to share that support but the guy's sleeping where he works he's got a family and corona is running rampant through his apartment complex uh the decision was not made lightly and

we asked the public not to rush to judgment like nick DiPaolo is on his show on what is very much a live investigation. I still say, fuck you, fuck you. Akawi says that's the owner. He bought two firearms a few weeks ago because he was concerned someone would try to steal from a store during the pandemic. We bought protection for the store just in case, because on Facebook, you see a lot of robberies, a lot of things going on, he said. And he said one thing he saw on Facebook that he loved

was the Nick DiPaolo show, Monday through Thursday. I mean, come on. Maybe there's more to this story. But God damn it, if you can't defend yourself, I don't care what's going on, where you work or your home when somebody breaks in at four in the frigging morning and they're letting fucking prisoners out,

it really is, there's an agenda going on. Somebody hates this country very deeply. I think we know who it is. More lunacy because of the coronavirus. Hilton, New York. It must be upstate. Listen to this, Rez. I was going to blame your people.

I think it's my people. Nick, what's with all the my people talk? They're just humans. Shut the fuck up. We all know when we read a crime, who did it and what done it. Four teens are accused of punching and robbing a woman at at a hilton new york business because she was wearing a respirator mask

you know i hear four kids on a fucking old woman i go uh maybe black brown that's racist and i think i might have been wrong i don't know deputies responded to a family dollar on march 23rd for the report of a robbery a woman said a group of people confronted her because she was wearing a respirator mask inside the store officials with monroe county sheriff's office said the victim was being harassed by the group of people who are stating she was infected with the uh coronavirus why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people interrogating like me? As she exited the store, the woman was punched in the face, right,

by multiple people. Her keys and wallet were stolen. You see why I jumped the gun? Raz is like, you motherfucker. The victim sustained minor injuries. The group then left the area and were found in nearby uh ogden where their vehicle was stopped and they were taken into custody baton said the incident was not racially motivated no more charges are expected to be that's the other one that said uh not not racially motivated so i was going she must

be white and they whatever but then i read this rocco gingelo son of a bitch rocco rocco gingelo 18 alexis gingelo 19 uh here we go oh no this even the names fuck me up here taya i, I'm like, ah, finally. O'Connor. What? Now, are charged with second-degree robbery, a felony, while Nicholas Henderson, your guess, 19, is charged with second-degree robbery,

fourth-degree criminal possession of a weapon, and various, I should have had you Google these people, driving-related charges. The teens were arraigned in Parmatown Court and released. They're set to appear in court at a later date. Your mother sucks cocks in hell. Imagine being that ignorant. You see somebody with a mask on.

But again, these stories get overblown. Remember after 9-11? All you heard was, oh, there's going to be so much blowback against Muslims in this country. I think one of them was killed by a fucking racist idiot out in Arizona, gas station owner.

Some racist dude saw a guy. He was an Indian, like a Sikh. He had the turban on. Right. So you're always going to get some of this. But really, you beat up somebody because they're wearing a protective mask. Good to see the kids are following the news. You got a question for me,

Raz? Let's do it. Again, if you're a Patreon member and you get to ask the question, you have the ability to ask me a question. Joe Mama, Townsend, Mass.

Nick, why would I ask you a question, ass face? I just want to thank you for the hour of relief every day i'm poor but lovey show i want to see it going i laughed my dick off the whole time fuck you and keep up the great that's why massachusetts well they never change this could have been 1975 this question that's how Massachusetts people treat you, even the nice ones. Why would I ask you a question, ass face?

You know what, Joe? Joe Mama. You get it, Joe Mama? Yeah. Townsend. I never heard of Townsend. You're welcome as far as giving you an hour of relief every day, Joe. And I want to thank you for being a

Patreon member. Seriously, we can't do this without a little bit of dough rolling in. You're poor, which I believe because I've never heard of towns in mass. What is that, fucking border Tennessee? You probably typed this on your phone when you're sitting in an outhouse. You laughed your dick off,

which wasn't, according to your wife or girlfriend, not much of a loss. Fuck you and keep up the great show. Fuck you and keep up the great show. No. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Thank you, Joe. And I'm glad we are providing. And we are. This is about you guys, too. Because there's nothing on. Look, my demographic is about 98% male, okay? And the three broads that like it are like 6'2", 240, and they have strapping shoulders. And there's no sports on, is my point.

A lot of alpha males, as far as my demographic goes. There's nothing on. I record those goddamn UFC shows, you know, the like half-hour shows. A bunch of fights I hadn't seen because I got onto the UFC thing late and that. And please watch Narcos. You can take that down. Narcos, please, on Netflix. There's a couple of them.

There's one, the one I'm watching now about Columbia. And you know who? Escobar. It is so good. Of course, Quinn turned me on to it. I guess there's another one about El Chapo, Mexico. Well, maybe not, but there's another Narcos. I'm starting season two tonight, episode one.

It's so well acted, so well written. The consultants must have been DEA people. You know when you read a great book when you go, you read a great book and then you go see the movie and the movie never, never as good as the book usually because you don't have to get into, you can't get into as much detail.

This is, I'm watching this go, this is, I read a book called Killing Pablo, which you should read. And this is almost as good as the goddamn book. It's,

it's so well acted. There's hot broads in it. There's torture. There's real footage. Real footage of victims of this Pablo Escobar. They work in there. I can't stop watching it. That and hoarding.

People who hoard shit. My wife watches it. Here's me being the cynic again i go hold on a second some of it might be true as far as hoarding goes but you know how easy it is to do a show like that you find an old abandoned house pack it with garbage and stage it anything reality based i'm not saying these some of these people aren't real probably most of them are but i'm just saying god i i shut it off. It's the grossest hour of my wife watches hoarders. You know, they open the fridge,

there's eggs in there from 19 fucking 91, a cheeseburger. There's rats literally in the kitchen sink. And then when that's over, I take a couple of times to settle my stomach. She puts on Dr. Pimple Popper. It's an hour of a fucking Asian lady popping giant fucking zits. And, oh, it's like watching a guy decorate, you know, pastry bag, just squeezing out the... They ought to fucking examine that doctor. That chick's sick.

It's a sick world, if you don't believe me. Again, a little levity to break the tension here. This is Los Angeles. A resident of, no, it's actually, it was written L.A. It's the state of Washington where this happened. A guy was arrested following a high-speed chase that left offices dumbfounded after they found that the man's pit bull was behind the wheel. Couldn't get it into third.

The dog is very upset. It's very hard when you get a paw. You know, the hoof. What are they called? The hoof, the paw. That's a shame, huh? The incident unfolded Sunday afternoon after police received calls about a driver hitting two vehicles only two fucking dog that's pretty good

my fucking mother almost took out a family of six for christ's sake when she was in her 30s uh after hitting two vehicles in an area south of Seattle and then speeding away, state trooper, what's her name, Heather Axman, she said the emergency services subsequently got multiple calls about a car traveling erratically at more than 100 miles per hour. Axman said as the officers gave chase, they got close to the vehicle, a 1996 Buick. And we're shocked to see.

Now, I'm reading about this. Yeah, right. You know what I'm going to say. Pitbull, 1996 Buick. This has got black written all over it. But it's Washington State, so maybe not. Shocked to see a pit bull in the driver's seat and a man staring and pushing the gas pedal from the passenger side. Uh-oh, retard alert.

Retard alert. Uh-oh. The pursuit ended after police deployed spike strips and threw down some kibbles and bits and arrested 51 year old. Oh, I was wrong again. Tito Alejandro. Way different than Blackpink, who was booked on multiple felonies, including driving under the influence of drugs. When we took him into custody, he admitted to our troopers that he was trying to teach his dog to drive. I, I, I, I, I am the Frito Bandito. I love Frito Conchips. I love them.

I do. I let my pit bull drive for you. Anyways, that is it. Stay safe, everybody. Stay corona free. Do the social distancing thing. Let's get over this. I want to get back to the clubs. I'm not talking comedy clubs. I want to go dancing. I got

cabin fever, motherfuckers. I didn't get to these stories, but I will. Well, we'll do a bonus one for you Patreon members. Thank you guys again so much. Again, if you want to contribute on a daily basis, nickdip.com. If you're watching on YouTube,

too, click the button right now. Our numbers are going up on YouTube as far as subscribers, okay? And that means a lot to me. And if you have a business, again, if you want to be a sponsor of the show, we're always looking for sponsors. Go to nick, I want to say nickdip.com

and uh we can talk about that too that would help us out greatly again we can't thank you enough for your support uh remember cameo.com i did two yesterday i will make a personal video message on my phone you tell me who you want me to roast i'll send it to uh your enemy your friends your wise ass cousin, your transgender aunt, any of it. I'll make so much fun of them, they'll shit their pants or I'll say happy birthday to Grammy, who's very tired. I like to take naps. That's it. You guys think it. I will say it. You are very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.