The Nick DiPaolo Show - Affirmative Action Ruled Negative | Nick Di Paolo Show #1420

Episode Date: June 29, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Affirmative Action getting shot down, CNN's slow death and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

🎵 Now you will learn about laws, laws of freedom, laws of humanity. Now you and I will truly be the same. Hi, folks. Welcome to Trans Show. I'm Sharon. And I'm Karen. And that's Karen. It's the Sharon and Karen show. That's right.

I was gonna... Somebody just sent me a... I don't know. It's an animated thing, so I don't know if it came from Comedy Central, maybe Family Guy, or maybe it's just a meme, I don't know. Well, it has audio, so. But it's just funny, it's a bartender, it's a cartoon, and there's a woman there, sitting at the bar by herself, and the bartender goes, excuse me ma'am, you can't pour the wine on the bar. She goes, oh, I'm transgender. And he goes, oh, I'm sorry.

I had no idea. Do whatever you want. I think I told that right. Seems like I butchered it somewhere, but that's all it was. Just perfect, perfect fucking. Anyways, I enjoy that type of. And it's true. That's no exaggeration

I'm going to whip my dick out in front of kids and go to library and we're going to dance and show titties feel free nobody's cracked another temple of liberalism is never judge anybody period that's real mature

hey period. That's real mature. Hey, I got on the scale today, 205.7. That is, I'm 19, I've lost 19.3. I've never,

like I said, I've never lost six pounds in my life, I don't think, in one shot. I think I get monkey box. Yeah, who knows? And like I said, I've said this before on the show, waiting for that infomercial in a couple of years,

two in the morning. Have you or a loved one used Ozempic? People, and that's what all the people are saying, the haters online. Oh, yeah, you're going to find out a class action shoot. It's going to give you cancer. I'm like, I don't care. That'll knock another 10 off. I can't get this last 10 off.

I want to be shredded. So what if it fucking rots my thyroid gland? There's a lot of hit pieces on it, you know, and you can tell they're written from other diet industry. Jenny Craig hired somebody to write a hit piece on them. It's fucking hilarious. I mean, come on, they're handing it out to people with diabetes for years without hurting them.

So I'll just pretend I'm black and fat. Play a blues guitar. Practice on that. You must enjoy the blues, Della. Yeah. Right? Fucking playing with that, man. Oh, guitar is just a blast. Keeps me away from the light, Della. Yeah. Right? Fucking playing with that, man. Oh, guitar is just a blast.

Keeps me away from the light. You know... I want all of you to enjoy your cake. Red Sox, get smoked again. Enjoy. Miami. Let me tell you about Miami. Don't sleep on those mothers.

Jesus Christ, it's not an un-Hispanic guy on the team. Everybody's got the braids and fucking, you know. They're the team that the MLB wants to push. You ever see the commercials now? They can't wait to get Whitey out of the way. ESPN will run a commercial, baseball the new way. It cuts to a black woman talking to a, you know, fucking Japanese girl in a wheelchair with a Mets hat. I can't take it no more. Let's get to it. First headline of the day. This was breaking news. I thought I'd grab it before we

went for the weekend break. Supreme Court votes negative on affirmative action. See what I did there? I don't. The Supreme Court struck down affirmative action programs at Harvard University and the University of North Carolina 40 years too late, in my opinion, because it was always, to me, you know what, unconstitutional. You can't fucking admit people based on anything. You can't do anything based on race. But you could then, because, you know, you know what happened? We did it and did it and did it and you know what we found out? They couldn't handle it.

The people that, you know, whether black, brown or whatever. Ask the Chinese now. They can't even get into Harvard. They won't let, they're discriminating openly against the Asian. And a lot of young black people, and I'm saying this not as a pejorative,

got into these schools because of affirmative action and couldn't handle the workload. You know what I mean? It's not their fault. So anyway, you see how long it takes to do something right in this country? Anyways, University of North Carolina, ruling that both institutions were violations of the 14th Amendment. Okay, what was the 14th Amendment put in two weeks ago? You're just realizing now? Give me a break, you dinkweed.

Thank you. Very sharp today. The decision ends the practice of racial consideration in higher education admissions, and overturns the high court's 2003 famous ruling in Grutter versus Bollinger. Remember that one? It went about eight rounds, I think. Gutter.

Or as the Chinese say, Glutter versus Bollinger, which found that colleges could consider race as one factor in the admissions. Why? Just why? Admissions process to achieve a diverse student body. Let me tell you how fucking stupid this is. Manny Dwarman, the guy that used to own the comedy, said, my late great friend, he was a professor actually, but me and him had the same exact, I go, that's a smokescreen. And he said, I've been saying that for years. We need a more diverse campus. It's a smoke screen. Why do you need a

diverse? Well, because then white people don't know how to get along with black people and other people that they don't come and, oh, really? So white kid's going to show up at the University of Pennsylvania, what, an orientation and see a black kid on a zebra going through the student union? What are you fucking talking about? Put that one down. That used to be in my act. I can't keep my racist jokes straight, but that's true. Eliminating racial discrimination means eliminating all of it. Chief Justice John Roberts, who finally got a big one right, wrote in the majority opinion, and the Equal Protection Clause we have accordingly held applies without regard to any differences of race, of color,

or of nationality. It is universal in its application. It's very simple, by the way. The Chief Justice concluded his opinion. I can imagine what's going on on cable TV today, right? On the left with MSI. They must be, just watch how immature they are. Conclude his opinion by saying that while colleges can consider an applicant's discussion of how race affected his or her life, that means when they write, they always ask for an essay in these really good colleges, which is fine.

Be it through discrimination. How about no? How about they can't even mention that? How about no mention of race, whatever? Just give them a Venn diagram like Kamala likes and have them figure it out. Be it through discrimination, inspiration, respiration, constipation. Good night, everybody.

Otherwise, universities may not simply establish through application, essays, or other means the regime would hold unlawful today. What do I mean by the regime? The constitution? Huh? I wonder if they meant regimen. You're goddamn right they did the fucking regime that sounds like they're talking about themselves anyways i think it's good it's gone you know we're on fair footing now whether you guys want

to admit it not you're up tony's uh actually again ask the chinese they're getting it's discriminated against so enough of that crap you You're entitled to shit. That's right, Tony. You tell them. The student must be treated like a spare tire. What? What the fuck kind of talk is that? The student must be treated based on his or her genitals

and tongue length. Cut. On his or her experience as an individual, not on the basis of race. You know, like the rest of the world has to do and has been doing. Yeah, but slavery set him, but shut up. Shut the fuck up. What's the shelf life on that excuse? There's a ton of black people way fucking more successful than me. My age too, by the way.

to me. My age too, by the way. Roberts went on, many universities have too long done just the opposite. And in doing so, they have concluded wrongly that the touchstone of an individual's identity is not challenges bested, what? Skills built or lessons learned, but the color of their telewacker. What? Their skin. Our constitutional history does not tolerate that choice. Well, it never has. Again, the left won that one for about 50 years, you sucker. Roberts was joined, in his opinion, by Stu Grimson, hockey player,

by all five of his colleagues in the court's conservative wing. Gee, I wonder who didn't go with it. Anyways, the five, we know, Alito, Clarence Thomas, Coney Barrett, Amy Coney Barrett, and Brett Kavanaugh, and Justice Neil Gorsuch. They had it right. And of course, all the libs went against it. Because why? It's a reflex reaction. They don't even think about it.

I'll give you this, too. There should be no women on the Supreme Court. Not one. How about that? Zero. Well, maybe Amy Coney Barrett. She's got kind of nice eyes. Thank you.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, you feminist hoes. You know what I'm saying? God damn it. Excuse me. Anyways, let's see if I can do this by memory. In the second half of the show, guys, I'm going to be talking about

libs eating libs, Kennedy bitch slapping Jimmy Kimmel on social media, and a new scam at the airports involving wheelchairs, which makes me laugh and shows how this country has zero integrity, zero character, and will do anything to me. It makes me laugh. I can't even get mad. I can't. Anyhow, stay tuned for that. If you're going to stay tuned, you go to nickdopalashow.com and you sign up. Am I getting that right? You sign up for it.

You got to do that if you like me. If you don't, poo-poo-caca. Understand? All right. like me if you don't poo poo caca understand all right hey boys and girls head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats t-shirts hoodies and more it's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time uh you can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the nicka shirts just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com, click on store.

Thank you guys so much. See you soon. CNN, this is a headline, by the way. CNN is on the endangered species list. It's another thing that should have been overturned 50 years ago. Well, it was kind of objective when we all didn't know ted turner you know and by the way ted turner you know he acted like a lefty but he's this billionaire so i'm sure he was fiscally conservative cnn a far-left propaganda outlet that

spreads conspiracy theories and political violence. Finally, you got to go, you know, finally somebody gets it right. You're going to go to Breitbart. And that's how that should be described. And every time you have a liberal on the show, it should say far-left radical. I mean, do you know how to fight back? And you're going to go, well, the right doesn't have any TV shows. Well, when the few they do,

Fox should be bringing somebody on and should say scumbag. Right? Fucking Bill Clinton dick licker. Stuff like that. Get creative with it. Anyways, they're soon going to be available, CNN, on the streaming service HBO Max.

Oh, God. This is CNN, the most trusted name in news. They must be in trouble if they're going to streaming. This is a huge, huge deal that tells you just how much trouble CNN, does that say LOL? It does. What? It's supposed to be just, I don't know.

And Warner Brothers Discovery are in. They're in hot water. See if you can locate the fantasy part of the story. Excuse me. Warner Brothers Discovery Inc. is planning to add live programming from CNN to the Mac streaming service later this year, reports Bloomberg. This is according to people familiar with the matter, as we say in boss, betting that news can help attract subscribers. boss betting that news can help attract subscribers can you imagine you mean turn subscribers off yeah or if you really thought news was going to up your subscribe you'd go with a fox show right you go with a nebizar these fucking guys have been in the toilet for 20 years

since fox showed up yeah that's going to increase something. Fucking viewer suicide. Putting news on Macs in the U.S. could be complicated. I hope my brother's not listening because he's a cable expert and he can tell I have no idea what I'm talking about. Pay TV providers like Comcast, the worst in the world, by the way. The worst, TV providers like Comcast, the worst in the world, by the way, the worst, first time I've had them down here, oh my God. My brother told me, boy, they've been to my house more than my wife has. Wait a minute, that's sneaky. What's going on? Providers like Comcast, Co-op, and DirecTV, which I had and I like, typically pay for

the right to offer cable channels to their subscribers and are sensitive about efforts by media companies to offer the same program online, which makes sense. Here's my favorite part, the fantasy part on steroids. CNN, one of the largest news organizations in the world, has struggled to find its footing in the streaming era. You don't say. Last year, the company shut down CNN Plus streaming service. Oh, my God. Fucking Gutfeld talked about it every night for 10 weeks because he fucking, Chris Wallace, he wasn't a fan, streaming.

Just a few weeks after its launch, they had to shut it down. I saw Chris Wallace cutting somebody's lawn down here. In address. After its launch, they had to shut it down. I saw Chris Wallace cutting somebody's lawn down here. In a dress. The network is also seeking leadership stability. Earlier this month, CEO Chris Light, a lick, stepped down after a brief tumultuous tenure at the network. You know why? Because he tried to go near the truth. He tried to bring it a little to the center. And they're allergic to the truth at CNN. And they got a big rash and almost died.

Somebody had a pen, whatever you call that pen. Anyway, that's right. So, yeah, so he gets the boot. You know, Zaka got the boot. I mean, Jesus Christ. Who's your fucking boss, huh? Who's your fucking boss? Fantasy part one. WBD, Warner Brothers, Dinky, I don't know, is betting that CNN, LOL, online, something like that, can help attract subscribers to HBO Max. Fantasy part on steroids. Having CNN, blah, blah, blah,

live programming appear on Max could provide a significant boost to the network's audience. That's like going, hey, this cancer patient, right? He's got about a year left. You know what he should do? Start smoking.

That'll kill those fucking significant y'all the guy says in the article shall we do the math to debunk this nonsense we shall according to wikipedia cnn is currently available listen to this these numbers will make you hard in 80 million u.s households that state fucking run 80 million households think about that even if there was a half a kid per household. And yet, although 80 million households can watch CNN anytime they choose, only about seven people are watching at the airport in Bingham. Because they don't have a choice. Exactly.

They don't have a choice. CNN, right? So 80 million people have a choice to watch anytime. Guess what? Only about a half million tune in out of 80 million. That's a good product you're putting out there. What does that say? Honestly, though, what does that fucking say? It says that this country is not even close to as liberal as what these jerk offs pushed on your throat every day. At least that's how I take it. jerk-offs pushed on your throat every day. At least that's how I take it.

CNN cannot even attract 1% of its available audience. So on what planet will this abject failure and national joke boost HBO Max subscriptions? Oh, I don't know. Oh, and how will CNN's availability on HBO Max boost viewership for CNN that is already ignored by more than 99% of its available audience? Oh my, that proves that it's state-run government TV. The numbers don't matter. And you know where they do make a ton of money? On the online, their clickbait shit.

If you look at that, they're always at the top, you know. I always fall for clickbait shit. You know what I mean? They're like, ugh, look at Sally Struthers now. Cut to me jerking off to a nine-year-old Sally Struthers. I still like her eyes. CNN cannot survive

without the affirmative action of pay TV, where a portion of your cable bill This is who my brother has explained all this to me a hundred times And I'm like Tony Soprano when Carmella was telling about the finances And their investments I just glaze over Where a portion of your cable bill goes directly to CNN That's how CNN stays afloat

The carriage fees that force you, that's us, to subsidize a hate outlet you don't watch. If CNN is part of your paid TV package, you are subsidizing CNN. I want somebody to pull up and bill and get rid of this. My money's going to abortion. I'd rather have it go to abortion than this abortion.

I don't want fucking, I was paying for Don Lemon's wigs and fucking nipple clamps. Subsidizing CNN's hate, racism, violence, lies, and overall Nazism. But within a decade, CNN and a whole host of left-wing networks, no one watches like MTV, which is true. The Disney grooming channel, Comedy Central, will not be able to survive. Pay TV is dying. You can't argue that. These outlets can't survive on merit, meaning advertising revenue that is based on view, basically go woke, go broke, and they've been woke the whole time, and now it's really probably not even woke enough for the people who liked it.

Why? Because no one watches those channels. They need the pay TV grift and pay TV is dying. People are cutting like our president. People are cutting the pay TV and choosing cheaper streaming services. So CNN. Bye bye. This is CNN. Bye-bye.

Ha, ha, ha. Finally, the Wicked Witch is dead. The Wicked Witch is dead. For those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else go to nickdopaloshow.com and join to get my full show, Steven Crowder's full show, and a whole lot more. And when you're at my website, you can click on the tour button to see where I'll be. My next gig is coming up quick, July 14th and 15th, Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse in Arlington, Virginia.

Great gig. guitar solo guitar solo Bye.