The Nick DiPaolo Show - AI Not A Concern | Nick Di Paolo Show #1537

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the NFL "tush push", AI going dumb and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 Oh yeah, welcome to the show. You ever seen a grown man naked? Oh yeah, many times. Many times. Look, I was in many a locker room. Let me tell you about that black thing. That ain't no myth. I was in between Lorenzo Bollier. This is University of Maine. He was a street gang leader in Hartford. About 6'2", about 2'10", with zero body fat. Nicest guy on the team, too. I swear to God. I'm sure he's a badass when he was younger,

but somebody straight, whatever. I, he had every, I don't know why I'm talking about this now. Well, we're going to go into footballs, that's why. He had every, I think he still has half the rushing records. It was the Yankee Conference when I played up at Maine. Now it's, I don't know what they call it, Patriot conference.

But you can still see his name all over every frigging, and this is up at Maine where they didn't have very good teams, but this guy was just so frigging good. Get drafted by the Cowboys, but I don't think he had problems with the playbook and whatnot. But, yeah, why am I talking about him? No. Oh, because, you know,

grown man naked. Big schlong. Jesus Christ. Why would I forget that? Apparently I'm a real homophobe. And then there was another guy, Davey Johnson, literally last name Johnson.

Blacker than a fucking snow tire. And oh, Lorenzo was, you know, typical guy, 6'2", whatever. And I'm in the middle with my nice fucking mushroom cap. Listen, no, it wasn't that bad. But well, after you take it out of a jock, everybody looks like they're an albino fucking midget David Johnson I think is the other guy and he even for black guys we're like what the fuck he used to

go in the shower last because he didn't want us to fucking joke imagine having a dick so big you don't want people to pick on you for it that's like when we did the Pam Anderson roast. Oh, woe is me. Yeah, exactly.

Woe is you. Fucking, by the way, woe is the first two letters in woman. Fucking, yeah, when we did the Pam Anderson roast, it turned into, the whole roast turned into talking about, you know, who's dick. What was his fucking name? Oh, God, help me, Dallas. Tommy.

Yes, Tommy. Go ahead. I'm really putting you under the gun. Let's just go. No, I guess Tommy. Yeah, Tommy. And I said to that to him after the roast. I go, yeah, Tommy, how's that?

Isn't that nice? Fuck, it's supposed to be for your girlfriend or ex-girlfriend. The whole thing turned into about you and your giant cock. He starts laughing. Oh, God. Anyhow, tush push. Yeah, right from the dick into the ass. Great segue, fag.

Push for the tush push. What do I mean by that? Well, you know, there was some talk. Why don't you fucking run the story, Nick? Wow, I should go home and lay down. Anyways, they were talking about getting rid of it, which I didn't understand why, but they just had a meeting,

and I guess nobody even brought it up, so. I'm a fan. If you're going to change anything, quit calling it the tush push. Do you have to faggotize everything? Can we have something to ourselves? Straight men for the love of, call it the, what do they call it? The brotherly shove.

That's not much better either, is it? Now you're bringing incest into it. But just in case you guys aren't sports fans and forgot what we're talking about, here's a perfect example of the tush-push. The Eagles. Great hard play. Hurts. Wow.

Stupid touchdown, Philadelphia. Anyways, you know what it is, unless you're a homo. And the Eagles perfected it. It doesn't hurt that they have a future Hall of Fame center and, you know, a couple other. Here's why I was surprised this shit was allowed at all. There was a rule that you couldn't push a guy over the goal line or push a running back, even in the middle of the field.

That used to be an NFL rule. So it surprised me when this came about, and I kind of give him a thumbs up for letting it go because it adds a scrum-like, what's better than a tight end catches a pass and he's rumbling down the field but eight guys hold on to him and then fucking lineman 350 pounds comes gets a 40-yard start runs into the pile it's it adds another dimension that's kind of like whenever they're uh when you they give you for progress for a play some some games they'll immediately blow a whistle once they're stalled. Yes.

And in other games, they'll let them just play through and they'll gain another five, eight yards. Good point. And, and, and now that they're allowing the push from behind, not just the quarterback sneak, but like, you know, running backs or whatever, the refs should lay off the whistle. Some of them, you're right. Some of them still jump the gun. You know, these are things you can iron out with one meeting. Same with the frigging, guys, you're probably sick of me talking about that. What is a reception? What is it? I could solve it in two, I really want somebody to set up a meeting for me. I could be of help because they fucked that up. Reception has nothing to do with your feet and how many steps you, it has to do whether your hands were around the ball

and for how long. They fucked it all up. So I told you my solution, you'd show the replay and put a clock on it. Like when a guy in NBA shooting at the buzzer, you know, in slow motion, they show the clock, whether, say the guy has to have it in his hands

for two seconds or a second and a half or whatever. Right? Yeah, they instead, they complicate it. A football move. Yes, yes. Say the guy has to have it in his hands for two seconds or a second and a half or whatever, right? Yeah, instead they complicate it. A football move. Yes, yes. And I know why. I could even explain to Goodell, and these guys are younger than me now,

why that came about. Because what happened, the game got faster like anything else, and when a receiver caught a ball, the defensive back would level him instantly, and the ball goes flying. And it really is hard to call that. It happens so fast. So what they did is let's make it easier for the refs. Even after a step or two, if the ball comes out,

we'll let the refs just say incomplete. It makes it easier for the – that's how this thing got bastardized. But, again, the reception, look it up. It's about having your hands around the fucking thing. I just solved it. You're welcome. Hope Goddard watches this. I just solved it. You're welcome. Hope Goddard watches this. I got some other pointers for you, too.

The fucking point, I don't know why. I've been watching football 50-something years. All of a sudden, the PAT irritates me to no end. It's the most anticlimactic. How to take down the level of the crowd after a guy runs 88 yards for a touchdown. Some little fucking guy from Germany comes in and kicks kicks at 11 feet just make it seven points automatically and if they if they choose to do a two-point conversion and fail then you only get six go for it you could i have a couple solutions mandatory you're gonna go for the two or or make it again make it a 50 yard kick seriously 48 all you're going to do is look at the percentages of

how many they make and go it's still too easy that's why they moved it back right to make it a little tougher well then make it exciting imagine a game's tie uh fucking two seconds left the extra point means a difference and these these guys regularly kick field goals from over 55 on a regular basis now, making a 50-yarder. I know that sounds crazy, but it's not. Can you imagine sitting there biting your nails? You get 10 grand on the game? Some guy hooks it like Gronk.

Anyways, I don't know how I got off of that. Back to the tush-push. Despite speculation that the often-used quarterback sneak variation popularized by the Eagles could get banned, NFL Executive VP of Football Operations, former Patriot, Troy Vincent, confirmed Thursday the league will take no such action. Don't punish a team that strategically does it well, Vincent said. Good point, right?

So... You are correct, sir patriot, he's smart. The tush-push did not even come up when the league's competition committee met at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis this week, Vincent said, though it is expected to be a topic of discussion at the league meetings in Orlando next month, so anyone with opinions on the play can express them then. Okay, so they haven't put it to bed yet. And I'll tell you why. The Athletic, that's a publication,

reported in December that Commissioner Roger Goodell wanted to ban the tush push. This just shows me he's a fucking dope. I swear to God. Obviously, he's not. He's a great businessman because this fucking league has flourished, which sees two players push the quarterback

in the eagles case jalen hurts over the line to gain on a sneak yeah we know what it is you fucking yeah but come on good dell you piss him young shit kicking stinky horseman horse smelling motherfucker you all right not that bad a guy eagle center jason kelsey i love his responded to the report days later expressing fatigue over the discussion surrounding the play, which has also become known as a brotherly shove. Listen, he says, ban it. This is the guy that does it the best. At this point, I don't care.

I love the fucking Kelsey. Over the discussion about it, he said, with his brother Travis, they have a podcast. We were really good at it, running quarterback sneaks. We were very good at it before we even did the tush push. I don't think it's a necessary part of it. It certainly helps. There's no question about it.

I don't have the energy to care about whether it gets banned or not. We're going to run it right now because we're good at it, and it's effective, and whatever they do next season, we'll figure out a way to do something at a high level and make it effective. He's a smart, actually smart dude. He might not even play. He's about to.

He talked about retirement. Can you blame him? He can hang around with his brother and look at Taylor Swift's ass at the pool. Anyways, let's move on, shall we? Oh, by the way, I'm sorry. Second half of the show,ing kitchen episode one of my favorite recipes guys you'll love it meat and potatoes beef stew it's got red wine in it it's fucking killer and it's like foolproof anyways sure my wife got sick once but that was intentional i put some white out on the potatoes.

Let's move on to... Where can they find that? Am I in a hurry to get out of here or what? Good thing you were here today. Exclusively on Mug Club, you can find that. Where do you get that? Well, you got to go to nickdip.com. So do it, folks. Sign up.

Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com. So do it, folks. Sign up. Hey, boys and girls, head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, t-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the NICCA shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com, click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. Let's move on.

Another reason not to worry about fucking AI. Chat GPT unexpectedly began spouting off gibberish. Does it have a drinking problem? Leading many concerned users to suggest that AI has gone rogue. That is not what I pictured AI guy to look like. Those are not the robots that the Chinese will be sending to kill us. The Chinese, I'm sorry. Folks, I forgot where I was. Thought I was at the Golden Duck up the street. In a series of posts to social media, users of OpenAI's chatbot noted that the technology had

started responding to their queries with incoherent remarks. In one example, a chat GPT began speaking a garbled mix of Spanish and English. You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck, you know that?

His voice. Yeah, you're going to buy my fucking car? In one example, chat, GBD began speaking, garbled, mixed, Spanish, and English. Who programmed it? George Lopez? That's called Spanglish. Prompting the user to check in on the technology's well-being. Are you having a stroke?

The user replied to the chat bot, to which Mitch McConnell said, I'm fine. And he said, we're not talking to you, buckhead. Go back to sleep. Go back to sleep. Guy gets, that freaking guy, he's the only guy that has five sleep apnea incidents an hour while he's at work. Are you having a stroke? The user replied to the chatbot,

some of what you're saying makes no sense or aren't proper words. That's what they asked the fucking robot. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Apparently cleared up. In response, chat GPT issued a three-paragraph long apology

that similarly descended into unintelligible rambling. It might be Biden behind this. Whoops. I really apologize. What kind of guy says whoops? Excuse me. I really apologize if my last response came through as unclear or se siente, like it drifted into some nonsensical wording.

ChatGPT replied, sometimes in the creative process of keeping the intertwined Spanglish, pause, I'm good, intertwined Spanglish vibrant, the cogs and la tecla might get a bit whimsical, muchas gracias for your understanding, y'all. Ensure we're being as crystal clear como lo from now on. Oh, my God. It's worse than I thought. Ni quédate quieta. No come mierda, sal de este puto. Yo quédese haciendo eso.

Eso que te ha venido a hacer. Oh, they pissed off the... No, no, no, no, no. Shut it off. I can't. Even requests as simple as asking the chatbot how to make sun-dried tomatoes. I love the arbitrary.

Produce strange answers. Forsake the new fruition morsel in your beloved cookery. Chatbot. Let me repeat that. Forsake the new fruition morsel in your beloved cookery. Let me repeat that. Forsake the new fruition morsel in your beloved cookery. What the fuck? Chat GPT said, and then it went bam. The issue which appears to affect version four of the chatbot has been acknowledged by OpenAI. And again, I've been saying for years, arguing with Greg Gutfeld

because he was convinced that, and still is, it's going to take us over and kill us and shit. And now I feel more confident I was right that it's only as good as the fucking idiots programming it. No, you're right. I mean, it is input. Input and output because you have the whole Gemini thing,

but all these different platforms have their own version that they're feeding. That's right. So it makes me feel better. Let's move on. I'm not scared of AI was my point to that whole story.

Hey, for those of you on Mug Club, excuse me, stick around for the second half of the show. Everyone else go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show, because admit it, you're pissed right now that I'm leaving you,

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And while you're there, check out my date. Right now it's a singular date. There will be more going up. Tommy actually booked me the weekend before Jersey, so that will be going up soon. On May 11th, I will be at the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, New Jersey. Okay? Well, that's the serious part of the show.

Not for the best part of the show, because, you know, it's another episode of Nick's Bitchin' Kitchen coming right at you with Dallas, my filmmaker, coming to my bitchin' kitchen and kicking the wife out of the house. What a fight that turned into. No, I'm kidding.

That's right. American beef stew. It's one of my favorite recipes. And you know I smile though I wear a frown And I'm not gonna take it all lying down Cause once I get started I go to town Cause I'm not like everybody else, no, no I'm not like everybody else I'm not like everybody else, well I'm not like everybody else And I don't wanna live my life like everybody else

And I don't wanna be destroyed Everybody else And I don't wanna get a job Everybody else Cause I'm not like everybody else See you singing, what are you? I'm not like everybody else Baby